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Cheezburger Network Blog
LOL!!!!
YOU ARE FIRST
my link is 1337
FIRSTGWTGER
JIRSTGWTGER
1 can 4a5 c43358urg3r?
what link
Photoshop! I had the same furnace when I was a kid. It said Pelonis
Correct. I have the same one.
it’s not photoshopped, they folded the sticker label. i have a pelonis fan and caught on to this right away.
FIRST AGAIN
FAIL AGAIN
I live in UK, so it’s 9am for me, not 1am. But wow…my second first!!!!! Really chuffed =]
And, again, I stumbled on this by absolute chance!
You didn’t plan it?
You didn’t man tit?
Sure you didn’t ban clit?
why would anyone EVER want to ban clit?
Ever heard of chlymitia?
Nope. Have you ever heard of chlamydia?
Spelling: WIN!
I’ve heard the Marx Brothers song “Chlamydia the tatooed lady”.
Learn how to spell, retard. It is spelled Chlamydia.
For a hot time.
It heats-up the front room in no time.
But it’s very safe.
Then the church does not approve.
…but the vicar does.
Finally – a space heater I don’t have to worry about.
Took them long enough. Must have been hard.
I see what you did thar…
PLEASE. That HAS to be Photoshopped. Oh, and first.
Well, there were no comments when I started typing.
I don’t know if that’s more FAIL that actually being f*rst.
‘more Fail THAT actually being first’ is much more FAIL than being first or FAILING at being first.
THE FAIL CORE IS REACHING CRITICAL FAIL!
Are you insisting that someone take this and Photoshop it? Odd.
Hi CWR
Did you bring your spare carpet today?
It’s a rug, not a ’spare carpet’ – I should just get a transplant if it’s that obvious.
Well…you know…if you’re willing to go to the trouble…
Now everyone’s staring at it. Good. Good job. My son the doctor.
it’s not photoshopped – but someone has cut a section of the sticker out between “pe” and “nis” and re-stuck it down. You can tell because the left side of sticker has more space around it than the right…blahblahblah….blahblah
Quick! Stick a wallet under their tongue – some sort of seizure!
its a Pelonis Safety Furnace… Have one sitting by my feet right now. Sloppy job of trimming and re-sticking the left portion of the sticker to cover the “lo”. Lines don’t even line up.
Ham! This must have crossed their minds when they named it!
Actually my parents had this exact heater. It is a PELONIS. someone obviously cut out the LO. eh.
It IS PhotoShopped. The company is “Pelonis”, and is famous for this specific product.
It wasn’t photoshopped, take a closer look at the sign… it was broken, and a letter was taken out.
Try TWO letters.
yup, it is. my parents had one of those, it’s a PELONIS safe-t heater. the reason why i remember was because it is only a few letters from penis and i thought that was scandalous when i was 8!
you can see how they didn’t match the lines up right too.
Nope, It’s not a photoshop job. The brand label on the heater was removed, cut, then reapplied. It’s true that it’s not the original way the heater was sold, BUT the heater has been sitting in our salon, in a very conspicuous spot, for over 6 months with the words “PENIS SAFE-T-FURNACE” boldly written across it. It’s been used daily, and (best part) the shop owner has failed to notice. For what it’s worth, it originally said “PELONIS SAFE-T-FURNACE”.
I remember peter-heaters but not these…penis furnances. Tacky.
Honest, I don’t know where that extra ‘n’ came from. I blame border security.
I blame a Freudian slip.
I thought it was Jung that spoke of the implications of furnaces and the misspelling of same?
Would you like to furnance a new penis, no money down? Cum to Big Willy’s House of Parts!
Hey BOGGY, wake up! Breakfast is here^
Those who said F****, not you CWR.
Darn.
Knit.
Perl necklace.
*provides*
.
Sew.
Perl 6, nice. I, I can’t accept this. It clashes with my beard.
Iron-y!
That’s a Pelonis Safe-T-Furnace. Lame Photoshop job… couldn’t they at least have spent an extra 60 seconds to line up the friggin’ type so it’s not such an obvious fake?
Why? Would it ever actually convince anyone?
Nevah.
It is NOT photoshop. They cut the actual physical sticker up. Should be obvious they removed the ‘Elle’ and the ‘Oh’ and re-attached the front part. DAMMIT GET IT RIGHT DAMMIT
Quick! Stick a wallet under the tongue – some similar sort of seizure!
Nope, It’s not a photoshop job. The brand label on the heater was removed, cut, then reapplied. It’s true that it’s not the original way the heater was sold, BUT the heater has been sitting in our salon, in a very conspicuous spot, for over 6 months with the words “PENIS SAFE-T-FURNACE” boldly written across it. It’s been used daily, and (best part) the shop owner has failed to notice.
Should I yell “FIRST!” just to join in the crowd of fail? Nah.
In other news, it looks like we have a “hot” date on failblog. >.<
Would you shout F**** is a crowded theater?
… or in a porn movie?
…or instead of your partner’s name?
…or when you’re waiting at the end of a queue?
Next time I’m last in a queue, I think I shall. It’s so much fun getting weird looks for crazy failures.
I’ve never seen porn in a theater, but it might actually happen – knowing how competitive guys are…
Wouldn’t it be a win if you’re last in this case? Anyway, I was rather thinking of a guy starring in a porn movie.
Arthur, think before you type “I was rather thinking of a guy starring in a porn movie” – really.
Oh. My. God. I don’t see any way how I can get out of this in style. Embarassing. But you did understand what I meant, I hope?
Of course.*big obvious 10 second wink*
*pulls CWR’s eye back open*
There.
*Dusts off eyelid*
It was just lads having fun joshing – did you hafta brush all my eyeliner off?
Why would you want to be last in a porn flick? Unless you like sloppy seconds, or thirds, of course. Eeeewww.
What are these ’seconds’ and ‘thirds’ you speak of? ZZZZZZZsnort…
I’ve only heard men speak of such, so I don’t know first hand.
*still asleep after firsts*
*pinches CWR* Wake Up! Dragonwriter will be along shortly and *FOOM* them all, and you will enjoy the show. I’m bringing kettlecorn.
*inhales diet soda correctly in his sleep* mumbles “g’way lemme tired”
Woops…looks like I slept through my cue.
…Is there any kettle corn left, though?
*hopeful look*
I call *hopeful look* “grivels” or “grivelling”. I think I got that from Walt Kelley’s Pogo.
.
.
.
Yes. Here, saved you some kettle corn.
I once asked my then boyfriend if he would get upset if I said some other guys name during sex. He said it would hurt. So I waited a couple of days and then during sex, it was all hot and we were into it and I said “ohhh some other guys name”. He stopped dead in his tracks. He didn’t find it as funny as I did.
Haha, it’s a good think I have my office door shut I just laughed pretty loud at that one.
The sad thing was, I was just about to have an O face and he stopped. So I finished without him while he pouted in the corner.
That is funny as hell. Sorry he didn’t get it (in more ways than one!)…glad you got to finish. Love the O Face.
OMG Ry – perfection!!
I usually shout my own name.
A nice alternative to the firebox.
I remember that one. It needed to be stoked all night.
That comment fueled my imagination.
Hopefully not a distant memory…
Not photoshopped, just played with before hand .. looks like someone pulled off the sticker, cut out letters and stuck the bit back on!
That’s it exactly. No FAIL for you.
No, git. It’s a penis furnace.
Oops! So right! Had a brain fart and lapsed into reality for a moment. Hate when that happens!
Reality? You don’t have a penis furnace in RL????
Well I have one, but it’s been unused of late.
Do you mean the penis or the furnace, Sidhe Cat?
the furnace, as I am a “she.”
I hope you weren’t inserting non-heated penises? That’s hazardous to your health!
Oh no, they’re heated properly when they come to me.
I’m sure they come when you call.
Dick the sausage man always delivers!
Well, we’re going to need to keep that warm. *lights furnace*
The bun warmer is ready, too…
*prepares condiments*
*rehearses compliments*
What’re you having on yours? I like mine just as they are. After all, they are all beef, and they plump when you heat ‘em!
I like my meals a little spicey. Is the furnace warm enough to cook?
Oh yes it’s ready, and spice makes the tongue zzingg!
The tongue’s very sensitive to temperature too, you know. I might just check the temp of the furnace before we cook.
You’re right. No sense in sending them up in flames right to begin with; test the temp with your finger first.
Today on Oprah, a pineapple and a cat discuss proper penis furnace temperatures. No, we’re not running out of topics, why do you ask?
Oh Sh**! *gurgle* You made me inhale my diet Pepsi the wrong way!
I mean you made me swallow the wrong way— I mean— er, never mind.
There’s a right way?
Oh my, what a responsive furnace…I’ll keep checking while you prepare the meat.
Oh! Too slow.
Twice.
I think it’s almost done; I’m just putting on the fries. Sure hope eveyone else gets here soon. We don’t want to be selfish. I hope the Vicar doesn’t come. I hear he likes meat and potatoes.
The vicar only likes whole potatos. Fries are too slim.
Let’s hope he’s caught in his jacket. I’ll whip up desert.
Tinfoil jacket?
Whatcha making for dessert, DrB? Make enough for all, as it looks like a party forming! An outdoor weenie roast in February! Who would’ve ever thought?
*Draws curtains, unsure of which side to stand, and calls fire dept.*
yea, It’s not a photoshop job. The brand label on the heater was removed, cut, then reapplied. It’s true that it’s not the original way the heater was sold, BUT, the reason we enjoy the humor in it is because the heater has been sitting in our salon, in a very conspicuous spot, for over 6 months with the words “PENIS SAFE-T-FURNACE” written across it. It’s been used daily, and (best part) the shop owner has failed to notice. For what it’s worth, it originally said “PELONIS SAFE-T-FURNACE”.
Ooo…that was meant to be definite, rather than harsh!
That’s the way all the cool nerds pho’shopped in the 70’s. Dawg.
Safety win!
I’ve still got the lines from the old model.
That’s a funny looking apple pie.
What the heal? Where?
It’s being warmed in that thread up there ^.
(gotcha on the black cat now, btw)
Welll…actually it should be Cait Sidhe, but I am not black with a white spot in the middle, so …
It’s possible to insert up to four penises at the same time. Just insert them on the upper side and heat ‘em up. There are size limitations though!
I didn’t know there was a new model that could cope with more than three.
Im popeye the sailor man
toot toot
I live in a garbage can
toot toot
I sat on a heater
It burned my weaner
I’m popeye the sailor man
toot toot
wish I had one of these then maybe this disaster could have been avoided!
If your penis was properly heated you wouldn’t sing?
There’s another sentence never imagined I would ever witness…
first
I was an hour too late >:C
FIRST! FAKE!
Poor photoshop fake
(pelonis safe-t-furnace)
Fake or not… this seems more like a win… how often have i wished for a penis-safe furnace
Safe for your penis?! PENIS WIN!
But really, what isn’t?
Rabbit trap.
Ouch. Sorry to hear about that. All better now?
Zipper!
The zipper: gateway to the penis. Tonight on National Geographic channel.
So that’s why men wake up with a woody? They place it in the furnace for safe warming overnight?
I wake up with a Buzz Lightyear, I don’t know what you’re on about…
To infinity and beyond?
That’s how long his penis is.
I didn’t think Buzz had a penis. He’s all about wingspan, anyway.
No, it’s when the morning wood accidently was outside the blanket in the winter. The blood inside the penis freezes then, this furnace is for morning defrosting.
Thanks Arthur, for that mental image. I may never chub again, thanks.
Yay! I have an avatar! Cookies won’t do it this time – cigars for all!
Thanky Arthur, and Congrats!
I’ve got the scotch. *offers to all*
.
*puff, puff, sip* *misses MikeyD*
Well, it’s noon here, but it is time to celebrate. Thanks!
*sips* aaaah!
.
Where is Mikey? I’m a little worried about him.
I’ve just sent out a carrier pidgeon…now, we wait
Where IS that pigeon? :/
Delicious pigeon! *thankful*
It’s already hot in here and now you’re gonna get us all drunk, too? WHOO- HOO!
kerchink! Bottoms up!
*SQUEEZE*
Thankyou.
*sip, sip, sip*
I wasn’t at my desk yesterday, I was out and about, so couldn’t get on.
I wasn’t happy about the lack of failing fun and friends in my day.
Fake – It’s made by Pelonis…..Thought no one was THAT stupid to call his company Penis…..
Dear Mr Hagi,
why would that be stupid?
Sincerly
Arthur Eld
CEO PENIS Inc.
It’s not a fake. The brand label on the heater was removed, cut, then reapplied. It’s true that it’s not the original way the heater was sold, BUT, the reason we enjoy the humor in it is because the heater has been sitting in our salon, in a very conspicuous spot, for over 6 months with the words “PENIS SAFE-T-FURNACE” written across it. It’s been used daily, and (best part) the shop owner has failed to notice.
For what it’s worth, I’m sure Mr. Pelonis was made well aware of the similarity between his last name, and the word “Penis” by his peers as soon as he started school.
I’m sorry, that is totally doctored! You can even see where they cut the sign to take some of the letters out. Who screens these pictures anyway? I like to know that my Fails are really Fails and not just some fool who’s interested in getting their 15 minutes of fame.
If you want to be sure that your fails are really fails, you just need to try harder.
May I suggest you having a tattoo that says “I like you’re mom” in your forehead. That should do the job.
Really? This defines fame for you? Ouch.
“Fame”? Really? Reina, if this is what you call fame; congrats for keeping your goals obtainable. The brand label on the heater *was* removed, cut, then reapplied. I never denied that. BUT, the reason we enjoy the humor in it is because the heater has been sitting in our salon, in a very conspicuous spot, for over 6 months with the words “PENIS SAFE-T-FURNACE” written across it. It’s been used daily, and (best part) the shop owner has failed to notice. But alas, there’s not a lot of room to note that in the photo.
Very useful equipment for those users of the ice machine, indeed.
When you say “users” you mean… Is that a preparation to rape Frosty the snowman?
Well, in that ice machine you needed to push hard all the way to get the ice. I suppose you could use it as a training for snowmen humping if those are your likings. I prefer warmer environments.
Still thinking about sex? You are never satisfied, are you? I like that in a man.
Are you really thinking I am never satisfied? I am sure that this is not what you were thinking yesterday… however I am afraid satisfaction is a transient state.
How transient are we talking? I have an opening in my schedule from 3:07 – 3:11… (my time is much in demand).
I think we could have something productive done in that time. Modern technology helps to reduce processing time,
Me too! But people who are steadfast enough to rape a snowman have my full respect. Although it’s ethically wrong, of course.
How is this a fail? I like to know my junk is safe around all equipments!
that is photoshopped. the brand is “pelonis,” and i’ve often also thought of that word when looking at that brand name. you can clearly see how something has been cut out between pe and nis.
WRONG, It’s not a photoshop job. The brand label on the heater was removed, cut, then reapplied. It’s true that it’s not the original way the heater was sold, BUT, I never denied that. The reason we enjoy the humor in it is because the heater has been sitting in our salon, in a very conspicuous spot, for over 6 months with the words “PENIS SAFE-T-FURNACE” written across it. It’s been used daily, and (best part) the shop owner has failed to notice. But alas, there’s not a lot of room to note that in the photo.
dude this was totally photoshopped. it’s a fake. i could have done a 10X better job.
Dude, It’s not a photoshop job. The brand label on the heater was removed, cut, then reapplied. It’s true that it’s not the original way the heater was sold, BUT, I never denied that. The reason we enjoy the humor in it is because the heater has been sitting in our salon, in a very conspicuous spot, for over 6 months with the words “PENIS SAFE-T-FURNACE” written across it. It’s been used daily, and (best part) the shop owner has failed to notice. But alas, there’s not a lot of room to note that in the photo.
Fail? Heck no! This is a big win! I wouldn’t want to get close to one that wasn’t safe.
i agree totally a win. i nt think a can photoshop like that though
Man, that’s gotta leave grill marks
http://www.lowbrowsophisticate.com/category/various-sundries
Safety Heater?
HOT DOG!!
A weenie roaster? *palms forehead*
It is nice to know I will be able to safely keep my personal area nice and warm. But be aware of penis heator imitators!
It wasn’t photoshoped but if you look closely you can tell there were at least one letter between the pen and the is because the sign is cut straight in between them.
yep, It’s not a photoshop job. The brand label on the heater was removed, cut, then reapplied. The reason we enjoy the humor in it is because the heater has been sitting in our salon, in a very conspicuous spot, for over 6 months with the words “PENIS SAFE-T-FURNACE” written across it. It’s been used daily, and (best part) the shop owner has failed to notice. For what it’s worth, it originally said “PELONIS SAFE-T-FURNACE”.
It’s a “Pelonis Safe-T-Furnace”, just a few letters cut out.
I’m glad i’m not the only one who noticed that.
again, The brand label on the heater was removed, cut, then reapplied. It’s true that it’s not the original way the heater was sold, BUT, I never denied that. The reason we enjoy the humor in it is because the heater has been sitting in our salon, in a very conspicuous spot, for over 6 months with the words “PENIS SAFE-T-FURNACE” written across it. It’s been used daily, and (best part) the shop owner has failed to notice. But alas, there’s not a lot of room to note that in the photo.
Um… how exactly would the company test this feature? xD
It’s actually by a company called Pelonis. I have a heater by them…and everytime I see the name on the front my eyes read “Penis” as well D:
You can see that someone cut out the “lo” from the heater because there’s a break in the middle of the word.
…And I see someone already pointed this out. OH WELL you get to read it again!
yep. The brand label on the heater was removed, cut, then reapplied. It’s true that it’s not the original way the heater was sold, BUT, I never denied that. The reason we enjoy the humor in it is because the heater has been sitting in our salon, in a very conspicuous spot, for over 6 months with the words “PENIS SAFE-T-FURNACE” written across it. It’s been used daily, and (best part) the shop owner has failed to notice. But alas, there’s not a lot of room to note that in the photo.
It’s called a Pelonis safety funace, someone cut out the lo. Look and you’ll see the cut.
Fail on failblogs part for not catching this.
looks like a lot of people beat me to saying this
One fail to you for thinking you were the first to notice that. A second fail to you for not scanning the other comments. heres a pasted copy of my stock response:
The brand label on the heater was removed, cut, then reapplied. It’s true that it’s not the original way the heater was sold, BUT, I never denied that. The reason we enjoy the humor in it is because the heater has been sitting in our salon, in a very conspicuous spot, for over 6 months with the words “PENIS SAFE-T-FURNACE” written across it. It’s been used daily, and (best part) the shop owner has failed to notice. But alas, there’s not a lot of room to note that in the photo.
wow, i’m actually using that same thing to heat my feet right now. made me double check the sticker, though. Pelonis.
Where’s the fail? In countless cold winter nights, I’ve wished for a Penis furnace that is also safe to use. My experiments with other means of heat transfer to my penis have yielded less than enjoyable results, to say the least.
This is a win, it is a safe-t (lol, get it? Safety? Fukin awesome). It stops your furnace from burning your stick. You need it to do many social activities.
… You can tell between the ‘p’ and the ‘e’ that someone tampered with it…. This is a forced fail.
LAME.
The brand label on the heater was removed, cut, then reapplied. It’s true that it’s not the original way the heater was sold, BUT, I never denied that. The reason we enjoy the humor in it is because the heater has been sitting in our salon, in a very conspicuous spot, for over 6 months with the words “PENIS SAFE-T-FURNACE” written across it. It’s been used daily, and (best part) the shop owner has failed to notice. But alas, there’s not a lot of room to note that in the photo.
It’s folded over. It’s suppose to say pelonis. It’s not a real fail.
This is not a fail, this is fraud.
The original is a Pelonis Safe-T-Furnace. Someone cleverly cut the “lo” out, and put it back together.
Confirmed same as Uxorious.. I have one of these ceramic furnaces myself.. Look carefully between the E & N, note that it has been cut and unequal.
not a fail, but a FAKE!
hot dogs lol