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Oh my god, second!
Oh my god, minute!
Oh my god, hour!
Oh my god, day!
Oh my god, year?
Oh my god, century!
Oh my god, epoch!
Oh my god, never!
CCC-C-Combo breaker!
Oh my, god!
DALALALAH, DALAH, DALAH-can’t touch this!
oh my god! googolplog!
if you don’t know what googolplog is, it is a number that’s so big, that if you wrote it down, it would fill the ENTIRE UNIVERSE!
Oh my god, supereon!
Oh my god, ♂♀!
Oh my god, ♀♀!
Oh my god millennia?
Oh my god, oh my god!
You all forgot to capitalize God.
It’s cool. They’re using it as a job title, not a name.
Why would you capitalize your imaginary friends name?
Because it’s a proper noun.
The dud killed 42 children with bears. Bears, man, BEARS!
What’s so proper about that?
dude*…. fail
Reed = dud
This… is… TINY!!!
That’s what she said
ITS FAILBLOG!!!! O_o
“God” isn’t a proper noun, even if you’re a monotheist. Whether you mean “a god” or “the god”, it’s still not a proper noun.
If the word God is referring to one God, then it should be capitalized.
If it is being used plurally (the Egyptians have many gods) then it should not be capitalized.
He’s a she?
How did this turn into an argument about god (lowercase)?
she what that said
Oh my god, turtles!
Oh my god, beavers!
Oh my god, cooches!
Oh mg god, shoes! XD
turtles? beavers?? cooches??? *masturbates*
Oh my God, Stfu!
Oh my god, you skipped from day to year! Weeks or months anyone?
Negatory – let’s go straight to millenia!
With aplomb!!
Can’t we just use the Mayan Long Calender instead?
This Georgian calender bores me.
Can’t we use the geological timescale?
(P.S. you mean ‘Gregorian calendar’.)
P.S. I do mean calendar, my bad.
I do a mean calendar myself – set to some hot blues rock guitar, that sucker smokes!
Yummy!
grimjaw, I was also correcting your ‘Georgian’. Just for future reference…
Ah, well I spelt both words wrong, 2 x fail
*tosses grimjaw the bukkit*
Perhaps he simply owns an antique calendar from the Georgian period?
Or a calendar from the Permian Period…
Roffle! Can I keep you?
Georgia on my Mind… *sing*
I was under the impression were were using the Julian calendar. in fact, I’m absolutely certain we are. Correction fail.
Oh my god, fad-re-starter!
Oh my god, Pluralization fail + spelling fail = WhoaNellie fail.. Millennium!!
One miLLeNNium.
Many miLLeNNia.
Buzkill
Nothing can kill these peoples’ buzz. They’re unstoppable.
This is madness.
This isn’t madness, this is SPARTA!
another plularlization fail
people = more than one person
people’s = belongs to more than one person
peoples’ = belongs to more than one group of people
win. best. comment. ever!!!
oh my god, that is SO 2007.
OH MY GOD, REPLIED 1 YEAR LATER TO THE DAY! WIN!
Oh my god, you skipped from century to epoch! Millenia anyone?
‘Age’ also comes before epoch.
Age before beauty.
And beauty is about how you appear, and you should take pride in your appearance, and pride comes before a fall. So I think the right order is
.
Spring
Summer
Age
Beauty
Pride
Autumn (Fall)
Winter
.
Maybe?
a win in my book
try the Vermont seasonal cycle . . .
summer
fall
winter
mud
AND eon!
(But those might be around the same as epochs, I don’t know)
(Eon, era and period are all greater than epoch).
thanks!
for more info click my name and get lost in the vast world of wiki
Wow, I never knew there were that many different lengths of time!
P.S. That wasn’t sarcasm, that was genuine surprise.
Neither did I… I just have to much free time on my hands
And I didn’t realise that a jiffy was a specified amount of time, I thought it was undetermined.
But can you achieve time travel by posting stuff in jiffy bags?
Just a Svedberg, I’ll look it up.
I’ll settle down and wait shall I?
epoch fail
Fail! the year doesn’t reset to zero on each century!
failed OMG MONTH rofl
Nope. Not year. Week, Fortnight, Month, Year, Decade, Century, Millena So on
I would have gone with “Oh my god, degree!”, but that would have sent us off at a different angle in who knows what direction!
I couldn’t have said it vector myself.
It’s all right to go off on a tangent sometimes.
Careful with the puns, it’s getting tensor in here.
This is a bad sine indeed. I’ll have to check back theta to see what else happens…
Anyone wanna cosine a bill with me banning puns on failblog?
i’d rather put a ban on guns. all that triggernometry gonna make my head explde!
Even I was second and did not act so sentimentally.
(plus, what if he was an atheist?)
Oh your god!
Oh, Lyndsey’s god?
Lyndsey has her own god? Cool!
FAIL FAIL. Premeditated fails are pathetic, how do they continue to make this page.
No kidding. These staged Fails are getting rather pathetic.
At the least, it should have gone up on Valentine’s Day. FailBlog double fail.
Gripe, gripe, gripe. Piss, moan, bitch.
.
.
.
What?
I totally live in provo and I saw this sign while I was on a date and made the guy turn around so I could take a picture with my phone. So I totally have this sign on my phone.
Cool!
It would be an impression. A bad one, that is.
for some it would be a good thing!
Yeah, now that I think about it. I did have some dates that deserved being crapped on by someone.
It’s always good to have a bag of manure, need one?
Thanks, but there’s always plenty of manure going around my office. Especially with the salesmen.
Looks like there’s alot of manure going around in the tax collector’s office
Kinky.
Curly.
2 girls, 1 cup ad?
It’s all out fun!
It’s balls out runs!
It’s all about nuns?
Are you allowed to say ‘balls’ and ‘nuns’ in
the same thread?
All nuns started in someone’s balls, so I don’t see why not…
I wish they’d kept it all in.
Keeping it in too long will constipate & bloat.
And that is how trolls are born. Human-sized wads of compacted crap.
So wouldn’t that make them dingleberries?
This Fail is flagging a brown hankie in both pockets.
Surely it’d only leave an impression if it was rock-hard and came out at speed?
Mikey D I believe you have over-thought this.
I can’t believe after all this time you’d accuse me of thinking!
*cries*
I’m sorry Mikey D *SQUEEZES* is that better?
Wow…that’s a TIGHT *squeeeze*! That certainly left an impression…
If so, there’s a diet aid for that!
BOSTON STEAMER!!!
form of steam!
Dirty Sanchez?
Err…is it a riddle?
Only if the question is, “Who is 1/2 of the saddest superhero duo ever?”
firrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrst
trrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrroll
*kills*
As long as it’s a safety poo, it should be ok.
Don’t settle for shampoo! Demand real poo!
Need a ShamWOW?
Hi! My name is Billy Mays, and I’m here to talk about Oxi Clean!
Real Poo for just $19.95! BUT WAIT!
You can find it … at the market.
A Safety poo…is that a poo performed why doing the Safety Dance?
Epic Win
Yes, why doing the Safety Dance? Why indeed.
Aww, I why failed myself :/
It was an accidenty.
*gives Malicite a cookie*
*munch munch munch*
That’s what she said
Birds keep crapping on my car. I wasn’t impressed.
My car keeps crapping on birds. I’m very impressed!
A bird crapped my car. I was scared.
while driving?
Noooo!
Birds can’t drive!
Their lil’ feet can’t reach the pedals.
I keep crapping on my car. Birds are very impressed.
I keep carring on my impressed. Crapping are very birds.
Chicks dig it!
Aww, poor Mikey. *SQUEEZE*
*SQUEEZE*
Hullo there!
I hate work. It’s getting in my way of squeezing the moomin and posting on FB.
I find that failblogging should be considered as work and therefore accordingly payed.
I agree…especially since my company decided against raises this year.
hmm…my new picture didn’t show up
I know it has been said before, but: did you clear your cache?
I would if I knew how.
tools->internet options->general tab->temporary internet files->delete files.
If that doesn’t work, get your harddrive out and make some random scratch with a piece of sandpaper.
Oh, it’s easy, just call the IRS! They’ll clear you of all your cache! Heypoh!!
Clearing your cache on your date is sure to impress.
*scratches. One is not enough.
D’oh! That was supposed to be “hey-oh” not “heypoh”!
Get paid in cache, what they don’t know won’t hurt them.
Je cache.
Le vache is on the other thread.
It’s la vache, actually. French fail.
Nice yellow doggie!
Very cyoot!
*SQUEEZE’s Mikey D and Dragonwriter* Why thank you
You date birds?
It’s pretty hard to meet moomins. I have to make do with what I can find.
Ok, now it’s time to confess: I have no idea what “moomin” might be. Enlighten me!
Clicky the name for more than you could possibly want to know
Thanks!
Knowing is half the battle.
What’s the other half?
Booze
Jagermeister
Don’t forget the Red Bull.
*has never had a Red Bull*
For any reason? I quite like them, but it unnerves me how every now and then I’ll get a mad craving for one.
They’re stuffed full of caffeine. About ten years ago, I ended up in the hospital with caffeine poisoning. For some reason, my body all of a sudden decided that caffeine was poisonous. I’m really sensitive to it…if I eat too much chocolate my heart starts going haywire!
Never cared for them myself… they give me headaches
I get the caffeine jitters when I have it in the evenings. I’ll be fine when I drink it but then I’ll wake up in the middle of the night with my heart racing. It didn’t happen very often and I couldn’t figure out what was causing it for the longest time. Then I stopped drinking rum and cokes and ta dah – problem solved.
I don’t get jitters…I get heart palpitations. When the ambulance got me to the hospital, the EMTs told the docs that they thought I was having a heart attack.
Sorry, I used jitters loosely – I just meant I had a really rapid heartbeat and it was scary
There is a lot of misinformation about chocolate and caffeine. Chocolate contains theobromine, a molecule very closely related to caffeine, and is considered to be chiefly responsible for chocolate’s pharmacological effects — not caffeine. Because of this, there is confusion as to whether chocolate contains caffeine. Many sources claim chocolate contains no caffeine. This is misleading and potentially dangerous. Some chocolate contains very small amount of caffeine, and it can pose a danger to those very sensitive to it.
.
http://www.xocoatl.org/caffeine.htm
http://www.healthcentral.com/peoplespharmacy/408/60913.html
Take this ä, or else you’ll have a hangover!
that’s more than a half!
It’s at least four fifths.
that’s enough, any more, you’re sure to vomit!
Running around in fields getting muddy.
Enlightened bird loving Moomins half boozed up
running around in battle fields getting muddy?
What’s next in all out fun?
LARPS!
G. I. Joe!
I think this is pretty standard in Cleveland.
Note to self: stay away from Cleveland.
.
Hey, their football team’s name is the Browns. What did you expect?
Must be something in the water.
Too bad this picture is from Provo, Utah.
This looks shopped.
It’s not a shop. Am thinking some sort of restaurant-casino.
with fat cats apparently
Actually, it’s a bowling alley. This place is about a mile from my house.
Yeah, I live not five minutes from this place.
I also live not five minute from there! More like eight hours…
But is it the one in Salt Lake, Ogden, or Provo?
You look chopped.
I’d say julienne..
Yes?
mmmmm, a smell more pungent than roses
I know you like to think that your sh*t don’t stink, but lean a little closer and you’ll find that roses really smell like poo-poo.
Epic Win!
I have crapped on many of my dates and I can fully recomend it!
Do you have many second dates?
I don’t see the point to that question?
No, and he doesn’t have many second thoughts either!
Victor K – is this Provo??
What if it were?
Then I suppose the answer would be yes
*giggles*
Definately looks like provo.
I’ve been there before, it must be something really new. I can’t wait for family night!
It’s definitely in Utah.
Yeah, I am pretty sure Fat Cats is a Utah only company. I am pretty sure I saw that too…
Yup, it is! It’s about a mile from my house. I wonder if this message is still up on the sign . . .?
This is the Fat Cats bowling alley on University Ave in Provo, Utah.
It looks like Provo to me…
I won’t bow to you!!!
I wonder if Mexico can be convinced to take that state back…
Oh…wouldn’t that be beautiful…?
Yeah, give back one of the states with the best economy and least unemployment right now. Why do you dislike Utah so? You couldn’t be bigoted against Mormons. Wouldn’t that be pathetic?
I’m not bigoted against Mormons, but I do have issues with the Mormon church. To be fair, I have issues with organized religion in general.
I think so. But I know a lot of people who are
*Points AmyGo to a room with “Humo(u)r 101″ on the door* AmyGo there.
Utah still has a good economy because it tends to lag behind the rest of the
nation. And Mormons are weirdos. If you can’t tell, I had the displeasure of
growing up in Provo.
Defiantly in Provo
wonder if the Provo High students had anything to do with it….
of course, make sure you have full consent before crapping on anyone….
I think by law you only need more than 50% consent.
50% consent? So she does not have to say yes, but she can’t say no?
No, they have stated that they aren’t going to say ‘no’ but they haven’t said ‘yes’.
Now ya got it.
And sometimes anomolies are caused by use of the word ‘maybe’, which isn’t taken into account for the percentage calculation, causing much confusion and crap everywhere.
So the conversation would go like this:
“Do you mind if I poop on you? But before you answer, does this smell like chloroform to you?”
Thereby you would get 50% consent.
Brilliant!
And sometimes Anna-Mollys are caused by calling your name up into the air because none of the others could ever compare.
And also sometimes Anna-Mollys are caused by picturing your face in the back of my eyes, a fire in the attic a proof of the prize.
*giggles*
*smooches pob*
*gets frisky*
I usually give my own consent, then ask consent of the second party involved, just to be 100% safe. Don’t want to end up in court for crape.
Crepe in the 1st degree? That’s a serious charge. Avon Barksdale couldn’t even dodge that one.
Does the parking sign indicate where I’m supposed to take a crap on my date? I would prefer to do that inside, at least in the winter.
But there is plenty of ample parking in the rear.
Most girls won’t let you park in the rear, though.
A gentleman always lets the girl off in the front, before parking in the rear.
Pfft. The guys I date always want to go through the drive-through.
*is so very intrigued*
Hee…!
*would prefer to whip something up in the kitchen together*
The whole building is a fail, btw. It looks like a childrens playground had sex with an office building.
More like the lovechild of a library and a circus if you ask me.
Sorry I can’t add anything else, but “lowl.” Good observation.
Actually, that was the Spankme Building.
It’s such an incredible eyesore. It’s got “fireworks” on poles all around it.
In a cafe once, my date asked for the leftover cake on the table next to us…
Had I known crap was an option…
Why? Would you have offered to feed her some of your crap instead of the cake?
…then what?
Then nothing, never saw her again. But had I known about the crap option… who knows…
Do you even know?
Do you really wanna know?
You must know that I don’t even know if he even knows, so how could I possibly know if I really want to know.
Anything is possible, you know.
inquiring minds…
but still, I don’t know, because as I said… who knows? not me… huh huh
not me.
did she eat the cake? right before eating the cake did an authority figure yell out ‘let them eat cake!’ ?
i can see where this is going.
The cake is a lie!
Well….I guess it’s worth a try…
Post back here with the results. I’m sure I’m not alone in being curious to know how it works out.
Now crapping your name in the snow, THAT would impress the ladies!
Or snowing your name in a crap?
Or naming your crap in snow.
Especially when Skwerlly Bob succesfully craps his full name.
*grunts*
“Skwerlly Bob of FAIL BOG Co. Inc. (click)”
Ta DA! & in script no less!
*bows*
-
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Need more cookies! *passes out*
We need 10 cc’s of cookie dough, stat!
*is not impressed* Sorry SB
hmm.. i need to make reservations for next year’s Valentine’s day..
wait you’ve never had someone take a dump on your chest?
First!
Obviously faked. It’s photoshopped. Fail fail.
Anyway, first!
Does it look like we care? We’ll get all the laughs we can get, even if it means photoshopping. Click the name to see what I mean.
Some of the guys who contact me online would be very impressed if I took them to a place like this. (That’s why they never get a reply from me.) Isn’t that sad?
For god’s sake, stop whining and let them crap on you.
Yea, and bring some paper dear.
I’m thinking three-way steamer?
LogFest 2009
Taking a dump on anyone’s chest rocks.
Haha…Sounds like the voice of experience.
this is agreat fail….
for me to poop on
i accidenty the ‘ ‘ !
*sits down*
*waits for BondFan*
*offer Arthur popcorn and earmuffs*
His screams can be loud.
Don’t block the door, either…he’ll be running through it.
he is in my basement
it is dark, but candle lit
*bakes cookies for Skwerlly Bob*
*dons earmuffs, gets a diet pepsi*
All set.
you accidenty the ” ! ? what agreat day
Best place for a date if you carry cows in your car!
That makes no sense.
see previous fails
though I’m not so sure I make sense to myself… I need coffee
Seen it, still makes little sense, sorry.
I know… Sense/comment fail…
cow transportation fail, but i’ll bet they take the drive-thru. Veggie burgers? Oh, no, they want chicken.
unserer temporär auftretenden Unfähigkeit
Thats Hilarious. I wonder if someone is stupid enough to believe it
I took a girl on a date, yada yada yada, never heard from her again.
you should have crapped on her
fat cats! ah, memories…
Fail Blog is failing by posting set up fails…..
This is a first. I’ve never known exactly where one of these was before.
That place is like 10 blocks from my house in Provo utah. Its a family fun center in the heart of the mormonest city anywhere. i really doubt that that is real. yeahh. right.
I live in Provo too, and I can confirm that this is real. My roommates submitted our own picture of it to Failblog, though they went with someone else’s.
But it is 100% real.
Hey, you guys are here, too? Small world!
its probly canadian they do cazy stuff like that
lol Cleveland steamer?
Actually, some dates will be truly impressed, and the cops after you also!
for real , i dont know why but girls really really like that, suprise your girl one morning, before she wakes up drop one on her stomach and shell love you forever, (not joking)
if by ‘love you forever’ you mean a restraining order and a fresh can of mace, then yes! she will love you forever. from what i understand they also like you to take dumps in their cereal bowl for the full affect.
funny banner!!!
My girlfriend is Canadian and she asked me to do that the other night….so i Dumped her!
No, you’re supposed to dump *on* her.
oh my gosh! this is by my house!!!!!!
this reminds me of “two girls, one cup”.
Just Google it…(yuck!)
PS: two girls is NOT Safe for Work!
This is real. I saw it in person.
It’s at Fat Cats (a bowling alley and pizza place) in Provo, UT.
Some kids just rearranged the letters on the sign to make that.
There were some extra letters on the ground.
AFAIK, it was up there like that an entire weekend.
I’m going to call photoshop on this one.
whats their number? is it toll free?
More importantly, is it stool free?
Who ya gonna call? Ghostbusters?
Not photoshop. I saw it when it was up this winter and thought it was a fail.
thats in front of my school
i live by this place and this summer it also read “get out of the heat and come inside and play on our poo tables”
oops i thought that post on craigslist said “use me as a toilet” when it really said “please bring me some violets”
that is more like a ‘poops’ instead of an ‘oops’ but whatever dude.
300th
Tonighth we dinthe at FATTH CATTHS!
Or in USA-go-to-heal-sinki. Good to have a selection with your netfads that are SO 2008
Where was this taken? I swear I know where this is.
Provo, Utah. It’s on University Avenue and Bulldog Boulevard.
heyyyyy thats up the street from me! rad!
well, maybe in germany
Oh My God
A classic.
Not to interfere too much on this geek-fest of comments here, but what *exactly* was this sign supposed to say? It’s funny, but not that funny if it wasn’t some error due to a letter or two being misplaced or haven fallen down.
Maybe I’m just too literal.
i think it said “impress your date, call ahead and make a reservation for bowling” or something like that. i don’t remember exactly what it was.
Impress your crap, take her on a date
Somethings missing here.
YEA RIGHT
OMFG!!! I drive past that place every day… it’s across the street from Provo High…
I think they made a mistake. Instead of “crap” (on the sign) they meant “shit”.
impress your date, take her to the Fat Cat’s restaurant
It’s actually a bowling alley in Provo.
LIARS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Proof that this was not photoshopped:
http://browninstallments.blogspot.com/2009/01/only-in-provo.html
Others claim to have seen the sign in person as well.
Nothing says I love you quite like a Cleavland steamer.
Hey, it worked for 2girls1cup…
EPIC FAIL
i took a girl on a date here once. it failed. maybe i should’ve crapped on her instead.
XD epic! but if you look closely, you see that the word crap got photoshopped in there…
Shouldn’t this be a WIN?
I’ll order the special, please.
i’ve actually bowled here. i live about 5 mintues from this place.
Hey! That’s right by my school! …I never saw that sign say that….
HAHA. That is Provo! I saw the sign when it said that.
OMG! My friend works there! I know exactly where that is!
Good ol’ Provo Utah… Always someone doing something of no value.
this has to be a shopped image
…This is right across the street from our school…
Oh wow, there have been many a date fail at that place. Been there too many times to count. Wish I had seen that sign, though.
i wish i could have crapped on my ex.