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Nice way to segue into a 3:00 fail!
No, it’s a 2:00 fail.
Nope. I’m with scotteh in that it’s a 3:00 fail. You need to move east; you’re in the wrong time zone.
No, I think I like being stuck at school while it snows.
Looked a lot like a noon fail to me. But you know what Jim Morrison said… “The west… is the best…”.
Plus, the west coast has the sunshine and the girls all get so tanned. I dig a french bikini on hawaii island dolls by a palm tree in the sand.
Some of them are wishing for spring so hard they’re dressing like that while it snows.
and that’s why everyone in class was sick
But the east coast girls are hip. Don’t you really dig those styles they wear?
And those southern girls, with the way they talk! They knock me out when I’m down there.
well, i wish they all could be california girls!
Nah, I like the midwest farmers’ daughters.
Well, they do really make you feel alright.
They keep their boyfriends warm at night.
Hey! Don’t forget we northern girls with the way we kiss…
Have you ever seen an Iowa farmer’s daughter? FAT FAIL!
mmmm, fat win you mean
Am not! This Iowa farmer’s daughter is smokin’ hot, and so are my farmgirl friends. Too hot for you, Goodrgby12!
you didn’t get the beach boys ref at all did you?
Have you heard of the Beach Boys? Old Song Knowledge Fail!
>>> pinches velvet <<<
I was cruising in my Stingray late one night…
*giggle*
.
(I was wondering if you saw that earlier)
Mon cherie, how could I miss so sweet a pinch?
The fail of the 21st Century!
french fail
When my eyes beheld an eerie sight…
(I know, song continuity fail!)
It’s the northern girls with the way they kiss.
well the ukrain girls really knock me out… they leave the west behind
Moscow girls make me sing and shout.
And Georgia’s always on my mind.
You say it’s your birthday???
It’s my birthday too!
baby, you can drive my car
beatles<3
Indeed…
wtf are you guys doing?!?
I wish they all could be Californian Giiiiirls….
I keep my watch on failblog time.
I watch failblog on my time.
♪ I keep a close watch on this heart of mine ♪
♪Pamelaaaaaaaaaa♪
♪Don’t break this heart of mine♪
♪Just remember, it may not heal this time♪
chug chugga chug chugga chug chugga chug chugga chug chugga chug chugga chug chugga cha cha – wawawawwww… Barracuda!
I think I can, I think I can
(overheard at a segway’s anonymous meeting)
wtf???? chugagachucagagachcugalaugalugalugachugachugawaawwaw…… waaaawaaawawawawwa………. barrrrrraaaaaccccuuuuuuuudaa???
Yep.
Thanks for the earworm, nellie!
You are blessedly welcome, Oh Dragon!
I don’t have that option.
(dang, that’s a good idea.)
So, it’s like GMT +2 here and GMT -6 in FailBlog Land? Oregon, U.S. Right? So you americans are all at work now? No wonder your country sucks.
yes, much like your face
OWNED!
Our conntry can whip your country’s ass. Already have actually.
If you’re going to support us, you should probably edit your post.
Or remain silent.
I don’t suppose there is any way I could convince you to stop reading the blog now and walk away?
Too late. I already read.
I really, really, really want to *FOOOOM!!* him.
Norm, actually you have no idea which country I’m in or from. But you’re right! With O’bama in office 4 years U.S. will be wimpy and then the Botswana Starving Children’s Choir will be able to beat U.S.
HEY…I’LL TELL YOU ONE DAMN THING!…wait, you’re probably right about that.
At least you guys have a definite leader. Up here in Canada, the popular vote is divided between four different parties.
There are the Conservative party, and the Liberal party, who both just go on about how the other party sucks.
Then there’s the NDP, who basically just take advantage of the fact
that nobody likes the Conservatives or the Liberals and are willing to vote for any third party.
And then there’s the Bloc Quebecois, whose only goal is to separate
Quebec from the rest of Canada.
And that’s different from the USA how, exactly?
Cause in the US, we have to work for our medical benifits.
That too, that too.
Yes, but in the US our doctors don’t re-use government-issue tongue depressors and you can have any psychotropic medication you want so long as you can do a good rendition of the Lumberjack Song.
Matt, do you have any idea what it’s like to be one of the millions of people unable to get health insurance? Do you know that we (the US) have a tremendously high infant mortality rate? Higher than Canada’s by far?
Canada works for their benefits. They pay for them. It’s called taxes. And their system works considerably better than ours.
My sister used to work in a museum here in Kingston and would get lots of American tourists. One time a guy came in and he was like
“It’s pretty good that you guys have universal health care. But the taxes here are so damn high.”
My sister was just like, “um… yeah…”
Thats what you call capitalism at work. Its alot like natural selection. Those without the wit, strength, or luck, will fail out to something better. Not saying this way is good in any form. Just saying it’s one of the reason’s we have come this far. So when you say ‘better than ours.’ its not a whole truth. There are many exceptions involved.
Excuse me. “unwilling” or “unwanting”. Avis, 99% of America could pay for health insurance if they just put aside 10 measly bucks a day for it. But no, $10 a day would eat into their lottery, crack, dope, beer, large screen TV budget, or whatever, and cause “loss”. Point blank: of Americas uninsured, 90% could afford coverage if they wanted to.
Honestly, I’m not going any further on this, on this humo(u)r blog, but you and others really need to get your socialist head out of your ass.
$10 a day would not cover my health insurance. All but one company has denied me insurance. The one that said they would wanted $1,000 a month with a $500 deductable. AND they wouldn’t cover my meds, because they are part of a pre-existing condition. So, tell me, how exactly does your “plan” work?
Would you be paying $1000 a month if this was not a preexisting condition? What I’m asking is, if you had health insurance b4 whatever ails you was diagnosed would you be stuck with such a cost?
I was born with the condition. And no, I wouldn’t be paying that much if I didn’t have it. I do know of other people who have the same condition though, who had insurance BEFORE diagnosis. As soon as they had the diagnosis they were dropped because they “hid symptoms” from the insurance company. Face it, our system is flawed. You say $10 a day is affordable to anyone? It’s not. Not to everyone. Some people live hand to mouth as it is. Health insurance shouldn’t be a luxury.
Actually, I said $10 a day rate is available and AFFORDABLE to 90% of America. Your situation might be special, and I feel for you, but comparing the world’s health care systems to America’s – where everyone goes for treatment, if they can – ignores reality.
Even with health insurance, I have had to shell out tens of thousands of dollars to cover that part my insurance did not. Granted, the insurance has paid a great deal of my expenses, but 20% of a very, very, very large number is still a very large number.
Everyone does most certainly NOT come to America for health care if they can. And I am just one of MILLIONS who are unable to get insurance. Again, health insurance should not be a luxury. France’s health care system is better than ours. CUBA’S health care system is better than ours! Your $10 a day rate is not affordable to 90% of Americans. It just isn’t.
DW, not to be insensitive, but that was your choice. You chose a policy covering 80% and that’s what you got. So true that in America you get what you pay for, which is fair until it’s not.
Avis, no, health care should not be a luxury. Basic health care should be available to all, which it is in America. If you’re broke you’re covered. If you have been living illegally in the states for years and get shot for robbing a liquor store, you’re covered. But (BUT!) if you had/have the means to pay for such coverage, America’s tax payers (us) expect you to be responsible.
In your case. you have been screwed. You were born with a condition that made coverage unaffordable. I wish I knew a solution (short of Canada’s 1 year waiting lines for basic procedures) for your situation but I do not. I will say this though, if you really believe some united coverage will serve you any better than what our VA hospitals* are giving, you are being naive.
*my brother died in a “free” VA hospital. They watched him rot, as is their standard.
tl;dr
Um…no. That was not my choice. That was the health insurance offered by my employment. I’m in the same boat as Avis. I’m uninsurable through private insurance. I will always have to have a job with benefits to get by.
Robacide, you are so very much in the wrong on this one it hurts. There is no reason for medication to cost as much as it does here. There is o reason health insurance companies should have as much power as they do. People DIE because they are denied (by the insurance companies) the treatment they need to survive.
Yep. And I just thank gawd that our coyote won’t be one of them!
I don’t know what else to say. I am 48 years old, I smoke, drink like a fish, and have never paid more than $200 for a family policy covering 80% of the 1st $2500 and, now, $150 as an individual. I cannot fathom that cost being exceedingly expensive in a country where the median income is $25 grand (which makes health care a 7% budgetary expense).
Sorry, you two, but I cannot relate.
By all means, then, continue to accuse me of spending my money on lottery tickets. After all, any experience that does not match your own must, by default, be suspect and ridiculed.
Come on, DW, what part of “90%” do you not understand?
There are outliers and than there is the majority. I speak of the majority. The majority of Americans could pay for health insurance if they wanted to; if they did not consider it an unnecessary tab our govt would pick up if they chose not to.
That’s a fact, jack.
*will not argue with the willfully ignorant*
why is ignorance bliss?
it seems like such a pain.
I know someone who has NF (in the US) and has the same problems. VERY high insurance payments etc so I’ve heard all this many times before. Now that I’ve seen SICKO and heard many arguments on both sides, I can say it seems to work like this: People who have never needed any serious health care and don’t pay for it (or pay very little because they have never made a claim) often think it would be wrong to make it universal and have that money come out of their pockets. The people who have needed it understand how important it is and have come to understand how unfair the system really is. In other words, you have to really NEED it to know how it really (doesn’t) works, and by then it’s too late. In fact, from what I’ve seen, it seems that if you are really sick, you wont be covered. That doesn’t sound like “insurance” to me. Things are certainly not perfect here in Canada but but at least the rich aren’t at the front of the line.
Okay people, now your up my alley.
I am uninsurable. I have had cancer, and once again do. Insurance companies will not touch you for at least five years after you finish treatment. When my mom had cancer they paid for her treatment and then canceled her.
As for the bone headed “natural selection”, that is so asinine that it leaves me speechless.
Until the cancer, I was the caregiver to my parents since 1994. No pay. No benefits. Just a 24/7 position.
For health care I have to go begging to the state. You do not know what indignity is until you need to do that.
All of this misery can be yours the instant you lose your job, get intensely ill or need to take care of someone else.
Do not tell me that you can not relate to this. That is only a sign of emotional atrophy.
I think he showed that when he put the importance of money above the importance of another human’s life.
And it isn’t just the patient that suffers. Robacide doesn’t appreciate the tenuous grasp Americans have on their health insurance coverage.
.
Illness and medical bills caused half of the 1,458,000 personal bankruptcies in 2001, according to a study published by the journal Health Affairs.
.
Surprisingly, most of those bankrupted by illness had health insurance. More than three-quarters were insured at the start of the bankrupting illness. However, 38 percent had lost coverage at least temporarily by the time they filed for bankruptcy.
.
Most of the medical bankruptcy filers were middle class; 56 percent owned a home and the same number had attended college. In many cases, illness forced breadwinners to take time off from work — losing income and job-based health insurance precisely when families needed it most.
.
Full article:
http://www.consumeraffairs.com/news04/2005/bankruptcy_study.html
Hopefully, the blogmonster will release my comment above that cites data from a joint Harvard Medical and Law study. In case is doesn’t, here’s another extract:
.
The co-occurrence of medical and job problems was a common theme. For instance, one debtor underwent lung surgery and suffered a heart attack. Both hospitalizations were covered by his employer-based insurance, but he was unable to return to his physically demanding job. He found new employment but was denied coverage because of his preexisting conditions, which required costly ongoing care. Similarly, a teacher who suffered a heart attack was unable to return to work for many months, and hence her coverage lapsed. A hospital wrote off her $20,000 debt, but she was nonetheless bankrupted by doctors’ bills and the cost of medications.
A far too common tale.
Click name to go to the published study.
Oh, thank you, my Admiral…that was a very interesting read.
Distressing…but interesting.
That had to be one of most depressing pieces of literature that has ever come my way.
*hug*
*hugs all around*
I do not need to worry about bankruptcy. Blood out of a stone is applicable.
On a much lighter note, I just noticed that if I had positioned my hands right I could have had an avatar that looked like WhoaNellie’s. Opportunity lost.
There’s always an opportunity to position your hands just right.
I can always count on you to lend a hand.
Avis — ydontcha kwitcher bitchen and move on up to Canada if you think socialised medicine is so great. Better yet, gitofyer a*s and getta jerb that offers bennies. That’s what everyone else does.
You think lines are long in ‘Merrika at the Burger King?
Sheesh.
Oh, for…
*reduces illiterate troll to ash and char*
Do as your name says and shut it. I have had it
up to here with morons today. I have had my recommended daily allowance. Leave. Offended? Tough.
I totally imagined Palin reading that. Just because of the pronunciation.
@Shutit — Burger King? You ain’t seen $#!+ until you’ve been to an In-n-Out burger during rush hour.
Sorry Robacide, very wrong. I’m healthy, don’t smoke, drink on occasion and my health insurance through work was over $400 per month (mostly covered by my employer) and still had co-pays. COBRA when I was laid off was ridiculous. I did find insurance quotes on line for less than $300 per month with a huge deductible and 20% co-pay.
The system needs to be overhauled.
A job. Now why didn’t I think of that? Oh, wait, that’s right, employment is so easy to find these days! And! I have nothing which might prevent me form getting/keeping a job! /sarcasm
If only it were that easy.
Robacide you are 100% correct. I lived on the border with
Canada and TONS of them were coming over to our side
and paying out of their own pockets to get decent medical
care because their own system sucks so bad. I lived with
universal health care for 3 years and it is just as terrible
as anyone says. Anybody who thinks that Cuba has a better
health system than ours is a head up their rear uneducated
idiot. I pay $220 a month for my OWN health insurance
because none of my three jobs will pay for it. If you want
something, PAY for it, don’t demand that others cover your
bill. I am more than willing to be charitable to people I know
who have needs but it is unfathomable that people simply
want anything handed to them at other people’s expense
The fact of the matter is that NEITHER socialized NOR current marketization of health care works well. Socialization works only for those within a gaussian bell curve of symptoms: if you fall outside “the bell curve,” you end up with horrifying wait times and sub-standard service. The problems with privatized medicine is the outrageous unaffordability and profiteering.
That’s the great conundrum of capitalism: it REALLY sucks as an economic model, but, what other economic system exists that doesn’t suck even more?
I suspect, if you can answer that question, you’ll all but automatically resolve the health care issue as well. They’re intimately tied, I think.
Because we only have two parties, and because we have a single leader with fairly high approval ratings and the approval of the legislature who can actually get shit done?
And because we don’t have crazy separationists or in fact any powerful third parties?
And because our government operates ENTIRELY differently.
…seriously.
Actually the USA only has one party: the media. The other “two” are wholly-owned subsidiaries.
RepubliCorp – Guns, Oil, Votes, you name it!
What do you mean universal health care doesn’t work? I come from New Zealand, I have lived in Australia. Both countries have universal health care and it does work. If I am sick I go to hospital and I do not have to worry about the cost of it I don’t need health insurance. You go to the pharmacy and pay $3 for a prescription (NZD), and the government pays the rest (which according to my receipt is about $145). Universal health care does work, and I really do feel sorry for the many Americans who can not afford one of the most basic necessities in the modern world. I really see no reason why what is supposedly the greatest country in the world should have so many people with no basic health cover.
The U.S. has two major parties. It’s pretty much just Republicans vs.
Democrats. Usually at least half the country supports their leader.
Canada has four major parties. Five, if you count the Green Party. And the party in power only has about 1/3 of the popular vote.
Exactly. And in fact right now in the US, Obama has a ton of support and the Dems have a majority in Congress so he can get a lot done.
May or may not be a good thing, but it is very different from Canada…
In Britain we have a similar problem. We have three major parties: The Labour Party, The Conservative Party and The Liberal Democrats. The Labour party are basically completely obliteraing the economy, the Conservatives are complaining they’re not doing anything, and the Lib-Dems say something sensible every few months.
Most counties are Tory (Conservative) led, and London has a Tory mayor.
Dont forget Australia’s old and rotten government. People only think US is bad cause we exaggerate our own problems, and post our idiots on the internets.
At least John Howard is gone.
Ours sucks? Yours swallows!
Actually if it was -6 that would be central time US… Oregon is on the West coast… Pacific time. Good try though.
Oregon is GMT-8. 3 hours behind me and I’m GMT -5
Yes, because all americans are in the same time zone and all americans work the EXACT SAME SHIFT.
west coast US time, but slow by 10 min
n/m my brain is slow by 10 min. Just west coast US time
just by ten minutes?
I keep my watch on failblog time.
“Even a stopped clock tells the correct time twice a day”
Only if you’re in the States, Canada, or Australia, as I have learned.
Strolling right in…
rollin’, rollin’, rollin’, rawhide!
Through rain and wind and weather hell bent for leather
But seriously, the Segway people need to make attachable strollers.
there’s a kit
I prefer the stroller kits that attach to the front of a Llamborghini. You know, the ones with the cool fairings rated up to 180 mph.
There’s a baby boom?
sonic boom
sonic the hedgehog
Wackamole
Monty on the Run!
As soon as traffic flattens the stroller & Segway there’ll be a baby boom…though there will probably be a skidding sound first.
I’ll tell him… I live about 45 minutes away from the inventor hahahah
How cab she do that?
i say kill this lazy bitc h and her lazy offspring with its US weakening lazy-genes!
Ha… segue to a segway!
Cómo es posible que haya tantos comentarios tan rápido?
Esta página es genial, me encanta!
Only when the blog monster plays nice.
Porque estamos suscriptos por RSS.
Es verdad?
Soy loco por los Cornballs!
Fiesta!
hola amigo, grande chalupa por que pepsi! pronto.. oui!!
No hablar mas por favor!
Me sabio de pesca la cocina? Si, muy bien!
There’s…cocaine in your sablefish?
What? Jimmy fell in the well? Go get pa and I will get Sheriff Dawes.
Pa wants the coke and the Sheriff will get Jimmy out while Pa is incapacitated.
“¿Cómo es Juan?”
“uh…. Burritos! huh huh huh”
“Guacamole!”
My name is Pancho
I live in El Ranch
I make $50 a day
I call up Lucy
She sells me pussy
That’s how I spend my pay
Parlez-vous Espanol?
Sprechen sie English?
Siempre mi amigo. Por que yo vivo en los Estados Unidos.
Perdido sin ti.
TOCA ME
No je parle francais.
Eh bien? Je suis en immersion francais a l’ecole.
I had to google translate that. You see, I took both in school. But, I took a lot more Spanish, so it got so that I was writing Spanish on the board rather than French. So, I decided to stop with the French classes.
Je suis canadien, alors c’etait un choix naturel pour moi d’apprendre le francais.
Of course. I’ve been to Canada many times, but only Stratford and Niagra Falls.
Je vivais au Canada pour presque tout ma vie, sauf que 3 ans quand j’etais en Australie.
It all reeks of a certain je nais se quoi to me…
G’day, monsieur!
I speak French Canadian. Je me souviens means bring back souvenirs from Florida. It’s on all their tags when they come visit.
Speaking of Florida… Tis an awesome night. I’m taking the bike out.
I just came back from Boca. It was so nice being home for a few days.
Oh, that the next hurricane damages your lanscaping.
Is english your first language?
baby doesn’t get exercise, why should she?
She’s exercising her right wrist, otherwise she’d be swerving all over the place, then again, she might be.
but it’s really only males that should have to exercise their right wrist.
Nice segway.
It just rolls off the tongue.
Too bad the argument doesn’t stand on its own.
Are you biased against left handers?
or maybe I should say:
buy-usd
biast
byus
byeus
These have all been used, true story, true fail.
I like biast, it reminds me of baste
I wanted to start a combo breaker so I grabbed my friendly thesaurus and looked up baste.
sew, tack; moisten; beat, thrash, cudgel
not very helpful
really, you don’t think what we as women have to do works our wrists?
Really, you don’t. Just be pretty, be naked, and be quiet.
Oh, I dunno – some of that female wrist action can be pretty delightful
If men could only find the button we wouldn’t have to exercise our wrists….
*counts to ten…*
*keeps counting…*
Even as a joke, that sentiment makes you pathetic.
And I thought you had a sense of humor. Huh…live and learn.
*hands norm a Humo(u)r 101 application*
Thanks Avis. I’ll fill this out right now.
You’ll have to attend Dragonwriter’s courses every day. And if you’re late she’ll FOOOM!!! you.
Jeez, BFF. Every day? Ok, Ok…I sure don’t want to get FOOMED.
I’m seriously thinking of doing it anyway…that was an asshat comment, norm, and not at all funny.
Oh, come on…It was a little funny. Ok, I retract the insensitive asshat comment above. Mea Culpa.
Humo(u)r 101 FAIL!!
Pfft.
*allows a small trickle of flame to escape*
*…which then sets norm’s head on fire*
*sniff sniff*
I love the smell of foomed hair in the mornin.
Last time I was FOOOMed it took two doctors to remove the damn thing.
I didn’t know a Dragonwriter FOOMING was survivable. Good to know. Thanks.
Survivable, yes. But now my left leg is 4 inches shorter than my right.
So now you can only walk around the mountain in one direction?
No, I can walk the other way too but I have to do it backwards.
*removes “No, I can walk the other way too but”* Hehehe.
Ad Ap & Humour? pffffft! Sense of self importance is more like it.
You would know.
More like mistaken sense of self importance.
Well, yeah.
*grins*
How are you today?
Feel fine. I have a CT scan in a couple of hours.
Got some great news Wednesday. The great state of Washington has decided to let me live by paying for this whole thing.
The first two months came to $101,088.
WOOHOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
*hughughughughug!*
Love the new look, btw.
YAY!!!!!! *hugs* That is great news!
Congratulations on the good news, coyote. With all the paperwork you filled out, I hope you made more than minimum wage on that deal.
Best of luck with the CT scan — and the contrast material.
Thanks. It is a major relief. I’m sleeping much better.
Two things:
1) Enjoy the new avatar while you can. I’ll be going back to Basil Brush soon.
2) Does it seem to anyone else that we have a couple of high grade trolls today? One of them is operating under two names, if his avatar is to be believed.
Yeah, and these can truly be classified as trolls. Not like the minor annoyances we sometimes label as trolls.
But oh, the irony of these guys!
Yeah. There’s some big ugliness here today.
coyote: “Got some great news Wednesday. The great state of Washington has decided to let me live by paying for this whole thing”
.
That is great news, I am sincerely happy for you, and I hope that your good fortune continues.
.
* VIVA COYOTE*
I sense you are mistaken
Really? Because I sense that you are a mistake.
Incense you are mistaken.
Well, I do live by a lake.
Never having seen you around these parts before, I may be mistaken, but it is my belief that you wouldn’t know a decent sense of humor if came up and bite you on your ass. If it did bite you there it would probably cause brain damage.
I’m not sure that these are ‘parts’ as much as a bunches of x’s and 0’s sitting on some platter. Just sayin..
So we are all part of one big Tic-Tac-Toe game? Wow, my sense
of cosmic importance has diminished considerably.
/sarcasm
This guy’s a keeper…
I’m not so sure Robacide is a guy.
Robacide, are you a guy?
Wasn’t talking about Robacide. Was talking about Devenshire Grave Robber.
*Note comment nesting*
I stand corrected, sir.
I lay down corrected, usually after three or so shots of 1800 tequila.
Parenting weird…yes. But parenting FAIL? I am ot so sure.
Segway = automatic fail
Parenting WIN!
Where’s the fail?
There should be baby segways also!
That’s an innovative win. It would be a fail if she were holding the baby in her arms while driving the Segway.
Kinda reminds me about people pulling babies in those little thingies whilst riding bicycles, though. Dangerous practice. I was hit by a car once, riding a bike, totally in the right and totally visible.
Then again, there’s something to be said for natural selection…
Blaming that on the bike stroller isn’t really fair. You could have been hit just as easily crossing the street on foot. Should walking be considered dangerous too?
Living is dangerous, there is a 103% death rate, (+/- 3%).
Indeed, and I sneer in the face of death
That being said, subjecting one’s tiny, fragile progeny to such potential has always seemed to me to be a bit unwise.
Lessee….
2000lbs of steel, rubber, and glass vs. oh, say, 15 lbs of baby flesh?
Who’s to say who might win and who might lose…
Like I said above, natural selection at work
She’s on a crosswalk. I’m guessing she’s smart enough to know how stop signs and red lights work, or at least we have no reason to believe she doesn’t. The mode of her transportation is irrelevant assuming she’s crossing correctly. This is why we have traffic laws.
Danger to baby = minimal.
Natural selection = not really…
>_>
Well, let’s just hope she stays in the crosswalk(s). Maybe she has someone in a pickup pick her and her child up and move them from crosswalk to crosswalk. Maybe she stays on the sidewalk (LOOK OUT!!!!!!!!!!).
Who knows?
Everyone has totally missed the point of this FAIL. The real reason it’s a fail is because that lady is not the kids mom. She actually just kidnapped the kid while the real mom was buying lottery tickets at a 7-11.
shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh – you’re giving the whole thang away!!
Is she giving the whole thong away?
Well, it is dangerous. But honestly, she’d be moving slower by foot…making it more dangerous to be on foot…
Actually, I dunno, how fast do Segways move?
Pretty fast if you hit them at 60 mph.
Even faster if you come down from above in an F-22 Raptor and scoop them up.
Helluva ride for the kiddo, that would be! Sumpin ta tell the grandkids about some day…
Take them for a spin in the LHC.
First
>snicker<
“First” fail!
FAIL
There were 8 comments well posted before you even thought of that one word.
Allow me.
*tazes Studdenfadden*
Thanks, I hadn’t even thought to ask for a tazer!
*steals BondFan’s taser*
*snatches back tazer*
Bad noodleguy! In the corner! NOW!
*sob*
*pulls out flamethrower*
FLAMETHROWAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!
Nice crisp BF!
*steps out of shadows*
I knew that double would come in use!
*handcuffs noodleguy*
You’re under arrest, noodleguy, for attempted murder.
*steals bond’s keys and returns to the shadows*
*all doors lock*
*walks over to Arthur and tazes him with free hand*
*takes back keys*
My, my, am I busy tonight.
*slips out of handcuffs*
You cannot chain PASTA, fewl! Nice try!
*goes and watches Firefly*
Damn! Ah, well.
*goes off to get a cookie*
*giggles about giving Bond dummy keys*
*Detonates explosives on the doors*
*disappears to Asia*
Oppression will no longer be tolerated.
Yes! Rise up and resist the FailBlog Gestapo! AKA Bond! Our voices will be heard! FIGHT THE POWER! REVOLUTIOOOOOOOOOOON!
Oh, and…don’t tase us, bro!
What the hell?
I tazed a unhelpful first troll and you call me the Gestapo? Do I go around to your houses every night and spy on you? Do your family members disappear before dawn breaks? No? THEN I’M NOT THE SODDING GESTAPO!
Suuuure everything is perfectly fine when you are apart of the crowd with blue eyes blonde hair. But when your on the outside, you get tazed. You, Bondfan, are cruel.
Arthur, you have no idea what you may have just started, do you?
What are ranting on about? I never taze anyone unless they are trolls, or shout “FIRST!” “SECOND!” “*masturbates*” or “PHOTOSHOPED”.
Blue eyes blonde hair? What do you think this is? AryanBlog?
Lol, slightly. I find bondfan a bit too taze happy. I feel something must be done someday.
Taze happy?
Look, what is your problem? I never, ever taze innocent people. That’s just cruel. I’ve only tazed someone once today.
*sigh* It’s not for you to judge.
*shrugs and walks away*
You can never be too taze-happy!
My comment was directed at Arthur. Not at BFF.
You just tazed two people in this nestfest
Two people who were wholly deserving of it.
Mine was directed at Arthur too.
Lol, I just figure, if bond wants to play the role of trying to keep the trolls down, I’m gonna give him something to do. I totally understand avis, why you don’t seem to like me, but I swear I’m playing by the rules that I have seen you guys use.
Arthur,
I tazed only one person! Why do you falsely accuse me?
You first tazed Studdenfan, and proceeded to taze me, when I stole your keys. Thats at least two in this nestfest alone. Not sure about any other ones.
Wait…BFF is a blond, blue-eyed Japanese guy??
Who knew??
They’re called threads.
So I did. I admit that, but you were obstructing me arresting noodleguy. Noodleguy needed some time out because he stole my tazer. Ask before you take!
If you disagree with me stopping you because you were trying to prevent me arresting noodleguy, I can do nothing else but label you an anarchist.
Those are some groovy threads, daddy-o.
*slips on shades and beret*
Apparently if you knew where to correct me about ‘threads’ you know thats what I mean by nestfest. I just like saying my phrase better. And I didn’t mean blue eyes blonde hair literally lol. *Goes grab some tea*
Stealing your keys were apart of my own vendetta, and in no way associated to the already imprisoned noodleguy.
I say we ignore this guy from now on.
Agreed. Hi, BFF!
*hug*
What guy?
I like this plan, BFF.
Oof! A DragonHug!
*hugs back*
Lol go for it. Thats how you are supposed to respond to trolls. You’d think you would have learned that sooner. And now look what you did. You were apart of a giant conversation that created nothing. Troll 1. Bond 0.
We gained the term ‘nestfest’, I quite like that. It’s got a more fun feel to it than thread.
It’s saddening that lots of differing opinions are those of trolls. Are they truly trolls who like to voice a different opinion or are they labeled troll because of the differing opinion?
And that just above is a proper nestfest
na, they’re trolls because they this is my opinion with a sword and a grenade.
I agree nestfest sounds better than thread, but it seems it would only apply when a thread is continuous on one subject. Agree or disagree?
NEW WORD!!
*enters it into the Failblog dicitionary*
T’is a good one, methinks!
I think some here could be called a nestmess also.
Would a troll be a nestpest?
I like the word ‘nestfest’.
I’m sure the rest of the conversation was also fascinating.
Mikey D… HOW DID YOU DO THAT?
I think nestfest would be when we hitch rides on un-nested threads to see how many nests we can get.
I like it!
*ahem*
I like nestpest.
I wonder how many other such terms will now be generated.
Through moomin wormholes hammykins.
I love language.
BLOGMONSTER!
Language obscures meaning.
Something weird happened and now everyone’s being all cosy.
It’s kind of nice.
Why do none of my posts make any logical sense?
Nestfest fail.
It’s Valentines Day here! Love is in the air!
*gives Bod a warm fuzzy*
Mmm!
*enjoys being sandwiched in the warm fuzzy*
*SQUEEEEEEEEEEEZE!*
I’ve got a cute Valentine’s link, if you’re interested.
*SQUEEZES EVERYBODY*
*and sends a special warm fuzzy right back to DW, blushfully*
(Mikey – your special squeeze is next door)
Sorry. Now I do.
Awwww…hammy, that was sweet.
I think I saw Bob and Em in there somewhere.
mega fail lol
seems like a win to me!
that’s probably why the state won’t let you have kids.
I can’t find the Play button.
I know, that would make it much better.
Undo your pants, pull them down to uncover your crotch, look right in between your left & right legs, up a little, more, there, there, you found it! Push Play! Much better!
My play button is making the other people in the building look at me funny.
Um, it’s ONLY for private time Arthur! (play at your own risk)
She’s so stupid, she should be pulling the kid! there’s an add on hitch for that!
That’s not stupid. If a car is coming, the kid takes the hit. She can always have more kids. Self preservation win.
Definitions of parent on the Web:
a father or mother; one who begets or one who gives birth to or nurtures and raises a child; a relative who plays the role of guardian
rear: bring up; “raise a family”; “bring up children”
an organism (plant or animal) from which younger ones are obtained
Parents, currently published by the Meredith Corporation, is the oldest parenting publication in the U.S.
Its editorial focus is on the daily needs and concerns of contemporary moms with young children. The glossy monthly features information about child health, safety, behavior, discipline and education. There are also stories on food, fashion, home, health, pregnancy, marriage, and beauty, aimed primarily at women ages 18-35.
Popular columns include As They Grow, which cover age-specific child development issues, as well as the reader-generated Baby Bloopers and It Worked for Me. The magazine also produces a website[1], regular podcasts[2], and Goodyblog[3]. The editor-in-chief is Sally Lee, and the circulation hovers around 2 million.
The magazine was started by George J. Hecht in 1926. It was sold to Gruner + Jahr in 1978. Meredith acquired the magazine when Gruner + Jahr left the US magazine business in 2005.
Too much information fail.
(It’s not a big one, hence no yelling and no exclamation point)
And from those of us who care about this information, Thanks.
tl;dr just drop in the link next time please
Sounds like the start of the plant people.
It’s a win for laziness.
totally
Now if only they would get hit by a bus..
They see me roll on my segway…
They be pointing and laughing.
They singing a little song…
Ahhhh, this brings back precious memories of my childhood. Violent beatings, threatening conversations over MySpace IM, chasing me down in a segway, and father just stared… he just stared. I sure do miss my dog Scruffalupticus.
Your comment was gay and too random to be funny.
Ooookay….
Move along, people. Nothing to see here.
To paraphrase a classic American Author:
.
“Persons attempting to find a motive in this narrative will be prosecuted; persons attempting to find a moral in it will be banished; persons attempting to find a point in it will be shot.”
~S. L. Clemens
Huckleberry Finn!
I love that book.
Me too. I have the version with the added parts that were found later on.
Interesting. As in, like, extra chapters at the end or something?
It’s been awhile since I’ve read it, but looking at it, it seems to be the original first half included with excerpts from his actual manuscript.
That’s cool. I’ve just started reading Tom Sawyer, although I’ve heard that Huckleberry Finn is Twain’s best work.
I’ve actually not read Tom Sawyer. I liked the movie Tom and Huck though. I had such a crush on Jonathan Taylor Thomas when I was in 5th grade.
So did my sister. It’s kind of weird to think about, as she’s 21 now.
I think… it’s hard to keep track of birthdays.
You’re telling me. I keep on getting turned away from bars cause when they ask me how old I am, I still say 20 instead of 21.
Yeah, I’m 24 now, so that was quite a long time ago.
Don’t you mean JTT? God, when i was about 14 I LOVED him…I had his posters plastered all over my bedroom walls….. *hangs head in shame* at least he was cute….short, but cute…
Let me guess. In this newer version Tom yells !psyche! as Jim notices a circle of hooded fellows closing in.
Multiple personalities WIN.
Basic rule of segway: lean forward to speed up. This could get messy.
Hah, lol, rotfl omg… heh
bbq ftw lbj
Haha, laugh out lud, rolling on the floor laughing, oh my god, heh, smile.
Redundancy fail.
Laughing out Loud*
trying-to-be-funny-by-being-negative-and-mean-fail.
Isn’t that the point of ALL fails? Pretty sure it is, actually. They’re inherently funny by pointing out the failures of others.
Also-I’m-not-sure-why-you-put-all-these-dashes?
You should note that people who point out failures in others are failures x infinity.
At least that’s what my psychologist told me after the electro-shock.
You missed a session and are currently only drooling from the left side.
it’s a grammatical structure to form a pre- or post-modifier
Looks like a win to me, if you’re going for a how-lazy-can-I-possibly-be win.
Blogmonster? Is that you?
Hmmmm….
So THAT’s whats been keeping those comments from showing!
I hope the Blogmonster isn’t anything like Jason.
Is that…a chainsaw?! RUN!!! RUN FOR THE HILLS!!!
You know, the thing with Jason is you can run, and he can walk REALLY slowly and still catch you. It’s tragic.
Should I watch the 1st or 2nd Friday the 13th tonight?
I was never one for scary movies. Now, the X-files, on the other hand…
pretty much the scariest thing I ever watched. (the show, not the recent movie)
Aliens scare me.
I love horror movies as long as they’re not too gore-y.
I didn’t know Al Gore was IN any horror movies.
You’ve never seen “An Inconvenient Hostel”?
Curses! I should have remembered that one!
Well, Tipper’s never going to Bratislava again.
If you want to be paralyzed in your seat for 30 minutes after the movie ends, watch The Day of the Locust.
Yeah, it was really upsetting how Donald Sutherland’s character was named Homer Simpson.
Or the new ‘Planet of the Apes’…
But, THE HILLS HAVE EYES!
Thats a parenting win if Ive ever seen one.
Aftershave Pining Nitwit
Aftertaste Hiving Nip Win
Vegetarian Shift Pint Win
Anteater Fin Wingtip Shiv
Seafaring Invent Whip Tit
Shenanigan Viper Fit Twit
.
god, you’re deep.
Tonight’s main FailNews: The Blogmonster claims 2,120,430 comments as comments per minute rate grinds to a halt.
That’s right, Bob, and viewers at home will be interested in knowing that those comments can now be purchased, at virtually no additional charge, as over-the-counter suppositories! Yes, you and your family no longer have to wait in line for those pesky government approved comments – call today! Blogulaters are standing by…
the tall, light skinned mexican girls.
Yeah. That was a seriously scary film.
How is this a fail?
Not so much parenting as Reasonableness Fail.
Little did Grunthrak know that when he invented the wheel he sowed the seeds of our destruction.
Call Dean Kamen… he needs to add a baby cart attachment for the Segway. Actually, I bet a lot of people who have a Segway and a kid would buy that.
retarded parenting skills!
this is NOTHING! my mom PUSHED me on a HORSE!
what a fat bitch
theres got to be a bigger & better word for this than fail
Epic fail might work, but it’s two words. Maybe “Blart” instead?
Only in America!
How long till the kid can stand? Then he/she can get one of those alien transport devices that FailMom is riding.
Mother of the year for sure.
she is a idiot
She needs to be using one of those three wheeled jogging baby carriages.
Then she can go faster!
Pffft. That’s nothing. I used to be a homeless rodeo clown but now I am a world class magician !
I am buying that kid a T-shirt that says “My Mothers a F@cking moron whats your excuse!”
PS. I agree with Pimpshiiiit
Use your legs, you lazy r*tard!
Three-hunderd-and-ninety-third!!!
Love the use of the segway. Now I have a reason the buy one!
This should be on the Darwin Awards site. It’s just too bad that this woman is cleaning out the gene pool using her child as a net.
WELCOME TO UNITED STATES!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Wow, really? WTF R U Doin?
first
segways are cool. but you’ve got to bet the laziest ass in the world to fail that much.
Old meme. My ex took that photo nearly two years ago.
So much for getting some exercise by taking the baby for a stroll. My goodness, but people are lazy these days!
the kid’s fault
ahahaha nice pic
))
I’ve never actually known which are trolls and which are not.