Submitted by Andrew
-
-
Copy & paste this:
Popular FAIL Videos
-
Recent Failures in Communications
Mrs. Agree on Dating Fails: He Said She… OtterBlue on Parenting Fails: Oh Grandparen… abstracted_11 on FAIL Nation: Probably Bad News… Mark80 on Autocowrecks: Auto Correct Fis… MarkFL on School of Fail: Method Ac… MarkFL on Failbook: Kardashians vs … Doug McLean on FAIL Nation: Wicked Awesome Ca… irlGirl on WIN!: Hacked IRL: Live Life to… Bill on After 12: The Best Use Of Beer… David J on WIN!: Hacked IRL: Live Life to… 
Cheezburger Company Blog
FIRST!!!!!
Yes!!!! I know I’m being an ass here… But it’s still worth it.
!!!!!TSRIF
Why do they refuse to post my Obama fail?
find it in the vote section to see how many people agree or disagree with you on that one.
you knew that it wasn’t in the vote section, didn’t you! You made me look up all those 336 pages to not find it, that cost me 5 hours!
Try your shtick over at Pundits Kitchen.
How much sand did you use up to make 5 hours in 20 minutes ?
It’s just that the Amulet doesn’t have a gauge like the Dagger and I don’t know how much to order.
This couldn’t of been added at a better time the above posting is has
an officer performing the pet my duck on a detainee.
*test*
where would we be if we didn’t have stupid people around. life would really be boring.
They think Jerry Falwell is WHAT!?!!
A Liberal.
That WAS a rhetorical question, Hammy.
Do you think I don’t know that?
Do you really want an answer to that?
Does it sound like I want an answer?
Do you think I care?
Is this argument going anywhere?
What do you think?
Should it be?
Everything has a purpose does it not?
What’s your point?
What are your views on animal testing?
Is that your idea of a rhetorical question?
Those tests are ridiculous. How are the animals supposed to fill in those little bubble Scantron sheets when they have no opposable thumbs??
You are right. They are much better on the essay portion.
They can lick those problems.
Does no one know how this game is played?
Yes.
So, you chose not to play?
It played him
Can you blame us for trying to change the scheme?
Why try to change it?
Isn’t it obvious?
Doesn’t it always change?
Have I mentioned that this is fun?
Do things that seem to change really stay the same?
Does anything ever stay the same?
What is change?
Can one search for lost time?
See, isn’t it better when we just stick to the old scheme?
What is staying the same?
What would you do with lost time if you found it?
Does anybody really know what time it is?
Would lost time still be lost time if it were found?
Would it still be “time,” or something else altogether?
If God is everywhere, is He in the toilet?
Can two infinites exist in the same universe?
Must two lines of infinite length cross?
Who put the bop in the bop-she-bop-she-bop?
Given that god is infinite and the universe is also infinite would you like any toast?
Do you really want to know?
Why did Wash have to die?
What would you do to get what you most want?
When does want become need?
When did lawns become treed?
What do we really need?
Do I really want or need to know?
Do you even know what you want?
Are you thinking what I’m thinking?
What were you thinking!?
I think so, but where would we put the quiche?
If seven maids with seven mops swept for half a year, do you suppose, that they could get it clear?
If it takes a man two hours to dig a hole, how long does it take him to dig half a hole?
What is half a hole?
If I see London and I see France, can I see your underpants?
How many roads must a man walk down?
What’s love got to do, got to do with it?
What is this lumpy thing in my trousers?
Where have all the flowers gone?
Where in the world is Carmen Sandiego?
What’s in a name?
Who likes Flowers for Algernon?
Voulez vous coucher avec moi ce soir?
Could you speak in English please?
Why?
Why not?
¿Por qué?
¿Porque?
How do you make a ferret angry?
Have you ever heard of gerbilling?
How can zero be nothing but hold infinite possibilities inside?
Why am I falling asleep in my lecture class right now?
WWWWWHAAAAAAAAAATTT!!
Do you give it to girls instead of flowers?
If it is as interesting as your posts then that’s your answer.
I’m guessing because it is as funny as his personality.
Whatever he may be, he’s not as fun as this. . .
*SQUEEZE*
*rides off on the doguck until it tipples over forwards, catapulting him over the horizon*
EEEEEeeee…..-=PLOUMPF=-
Does it comply with the TOS? The fact that this post made you think of it makes me think not.
Head, shoulders, knees and TOS, knees and TOS…
I really hope you don’t mean the oath, because the fail there was the guy GIVING Obama the oath. Idiot should have known you’re not supposed to give the first 2 parts as one sentece.
Have you tried posting it under politics?
What is exactly worth what?
.002 cents.
Or $0.002
It’s a difference of opinion.
Fret my prick?
Double click.
Subtle shtick?
angry prick?
Tangy lick?
I also wonder if we shouldn’t read “riding for fun” instead of “reading for fun”…
That’s what i thought:
http://img26.imageshack.us/img26/3744/failownedpetduckfaillw5.jpg
is it worth this?
……………………………………..________……………………
………………………………,.-‘”……………….“~.,………………
………………………..,.-”……………………………..“-.,…………
…………………….,/………………………………………..”:,……..
…………………,?………………………………………………\,…..
………………./…………………………………………………..,}….
……………../………………………………………………,:`^`..}….
……………/……………………………………………,:”………/…..
…………..?…..__…………………………………..:`………../…..
…………./__.(…..“~-,_…………………………,:`………./……..
………../(_….”~,_……..“~,_………………..,:`…….._/………..
……….{.._$;_……”=,_…….“-,_…….,.-~-,},.~”;/….}………..
………..((…..*~_…….”=-._……“;,,./`…./”…………../…………
…,,,___.\`~,……“~.,………………..`…..}…………../………….
…………(….`=-,,…….`……………………(……;_,,-”……………
…………/.`~,……`-………………………….\……/\……………….
………….\`~.*-,……………………………….|,./…..\,__………..
,,_……….}.>-._\……………………………..|…………..`=~-,….
…..`=~-,_\_……`\,……………………………\……………………
……………….`=~-,,.\,………………………….\…………………..
…………………………..`:,,………………………`\…………..__..
……………………………….`=-,……………….,%`>–==“…….
…………………………………._\……….._,-%…….`\……………
……………………………..,<`.._|_,-&“…………….`\…………..
well!? is it!?
One might say that you are in the “pole position”.
.
Oh, and…
*tazes Alex for saying “first”*
You do know that the ones who type ‘first’ as their first post thrive off of people posting their disdain for it, right? So, no posts = no joy in being first. That’s my style, anyways. And if they’re so unoriginal that they can’t come up with one thing cute or smarta$$ to say, then they’re not someone worth the time.
Oh, you don’t have to read pob chapter and verse. He’s an old-timer.
I still try. I thoroughly enjoy seeing a FIRST with no responses.
Heh. I enjoy hearing in the news that someone posting “FIRST!!!” suddenly died of a sniper related injury. *shrug*
It’s pretty devestating. His head explodes and sshe drowns.
First!
Why, back in my day we didn’t have fresh fails delivered to us four times a day and twice on Sunday (and Saturday). No, if we wanted a fresh fail, we had to go out and get it. Of course, in those days, fresh fails were kept by the old school house, and to get there we had to walk up hill both ways in the snow. AND WE LIKED IT. It wasn’t like it is for you young whippersnappers these days, what with your youtubes, and your myspaces, and your 13375p34k5, and your zero wings, and your dotcoms, and your macarenas, and your achey breaky hearts, and your break dancing, and your disco pants, and your bell bottoms, and your 23 skidoos, and your…
Eh?
What’s that you say?
Invers?
Boy, you know I don’t understand that flibberty-gibblet you younguns call slang these days…
Eh?
What?
Hold it like this, you say?
What the HELL are you talking about?
Those were the days!
good times!!!
If you want a good fail, tell them to eventually post my Obama fail!
The one-trick pony called. He says you’ve stolen his act and he’d like it back. Kthxbai.
You are going to get me fired.
And get off my lawn!
*fails… to hold in laughter*
Just out of curiosity… was the inspiration from YGO:TAS, or did they originally get it from somewhere else?
ur pretending rite?
Is it no longer official FailBlog protocol to taze firsters? (Also, did you catch my little dirty joke?)
You mean the same joke you read on “Campaign Sign” yesterday? Hmm?
It’s not the same joke! Yes, it’s a play on the same word, but I went in completely different directions with each joke. (Or tried to, anyway.)
I know — just poking you in the ribs.
I take my comedy very seriously.
Take it from me, you do.
*takes it from him*
Heeheehee! Gotta catch me if you want it back!
*runs!*
*follows the sound of jingle jingle jingle*
Hmm….
*slows down just a little*
*is drawn to the sweet intoxicating fragrance of honey*
*hides in a really, really obvious place*
Hee!
*finds you under the covers*
*wraps around your coils and curves*
I don’t really want it back, but I want to give it to you properly.
Hey! A bed! And it looks lumpy!
*bounces up and down on bed*
Weee!!! I love bouncy beds!
AAHH! That tickles!!
*shrieks and giggles and kicks out with feet*
*feels something small and lumpy fly off the bed*
*blinks*
…Did you feel something? Was that the cat?
Aaaaah!!!!
*flies out of room*
*watches as BFF flies out of room and into the pudding bukkit*
Hee!
SPLOOORCH!!!
Urgh…mustard and rotten cabbage
It didn’t sound like it landed on its feet.
*locks door*
*comes back to bed*
*throws covers over our heads and giggles*
*playfully tickles*
*SQUEAL!!*
Um…did I neglect to mention that I’m absurdly ticklish…?
*surreptitiously slides hand into small of your back*
*strokes gently*
Better?
Oooooh, you remembered just the spot…
*thinks back*
*brushes up*
You’re quite the artist…those brush-strokes are exquisite.
*puts down the brush*
*switches to finger-painting*
*dabbles in honey*
I absolutely love your expressionist works…
Our most valuable works are given freely.
Indeed…and I’ll be happy to be your canvas any time.
And I, yours.
*wants to wrap himself in the flag girl’s arms*
What a coincidence…my arms want to wrap themselves around you!
*long snuggle-hug*
*enfolds*
Pet fail
I would’ve gone with “My Pet Richard” but that’s just my choice.
Oh…sure the feathers are smooth on the way in…
You’re going to have to dry-clean that duck when you’re through.
Is it down in the dumps?
Yeah, it’s feeling quilty for something it did.
You can bring in a fluffer to make it feel better.
Is that because he’s crestfallen?
I bet the sham wow could dry it in a jiff…
I have one of those. It comes when I call it.
Yours is made of rubber though isn’t it?
Rubber Duckie, you’re the one
You make bathtime lots of fun
Rubber Duckie, I’m awfully fond of you
Woo woo be doo
Rubber Duckie, joy of joys,
When I *SQUEEZE* you, you make noise!
Rubber Duckie, you’re my very best friend, it’s true!
Doo doo doo doo, doo doo
But what does it look like, swim like, and quack like?
Dunno. But it smells like teen spirit.
Does it come it a heart shaped box?
It does if it’s with Loz!
“Here we are now, entertain us”?
Um, okay, I’ll try.
Oh, I’ve got this really funny story. It’s about a girl…
Who cried a river and drowned the whole world?
A single river cannot drown the whole world, I must say.
I resemble that remark
I’m going to take a screenshot of this and post it on Facebook… Ok. So my fb name is “Alex La Cow” and I go to LP. Ok, that should be enough to convince anyone.
Wow. How… cute.
Kawaii desu ne?
I probably just botched that. Apologies in advance to BFF.
Yea this used to close to my old comment but having all the other ones in between make it look strange
Hi, I’m PoB Villa, and today on This Old Comment…
Lo siento. No hablo Japonés.
Hui Hanyu ma?
No comprendo!
Yo necesito aprender mas idiomas.
the hippo dances with mad cow on a hot summer canycane? ENGLISH PLZ!!!
Ick, why is that stuff in the top left yellow?
Ewww… clearly been backed up for a while.
I think that’s supposed to be the sun, complete with solar flares. Or they ran out of yellow paint.
And is it just me, or is that duck’s jaw off-set?
He has TMJ issues.
And just who IS this “Fun 13″???
Any relation to Pen 15?
Reaganomics!
…. *masturbates*
Great comment Mookie. I’m going to need to go back to the drawing board before I weigh in here after that.
Do you keep it in a box?
it is after all the best valentines day gift.
I like to keep mine in a heart-shaped box.
No one for SNL reference FTW?
Loz will be so full of herself when she hears that.
Actually, I think she’ll be full of someone else…
FIRST!!!!
Not. Even. Close. I have a feeling someone needs a pet duck…
Damn, my pet duck escaped again. Sorry about that. Little Zaito tends to leave a bit of a mess wherever he goes. He isn’t the quickest duck around!
Oh wow. I typoed the typo and ended up correcting myself. … Does that even happen?
No.
This is my rifle
this is my gun
this is for fighting
this is for fun
Holy Jesus! What is that? What the f*k is that?
I can’t tell for sure due to the angle and poor lighting, but it appears to be a Derringer or a man’s genitalia.
Why do you hate kittens?
ah, is that what makes you the “cool” Alex?
no that makes him hot and bothered
oh…and a BF with W. stroker
Why? What’s BondFan got to do with it?
LOL.
What’s happenin’ hot stuff?
LONG DUCK DONG!!!!!! The Donger is hungry.
I would read that book for fun
Oh sexy American girlfriend! (falls out of tree)
*Picks velvet up, spins her around three times, puts her back in tree*
*falls back out of tree due to dizziness and lands on whoanellie*
Are you speaking from personal experience here, Z?
A dubious honor, no doubt…
You sure yer awake??
Might not be awake but sure is Glad.:)
I is awoke. And really Glad to see yall, nope that isn’t a duck in my pocket either.
In other words…you’re Glad, you’re Woke, and you’re UP.
Just couldn’t fit ‘I’ in there. *sad*
Yeah I did, look at the first of my sentence.
Yeah…you did, but I couldn’t because you are ‘I’ and
I is ‘me’, but you aren’t me, and I isn’t you…
or something like that?
*is now confused*
You are correct. I is me. You is you. But sometimes You are I and I are You. But then together You and I are We. That help?
I am he as you are he as you are me and we are all together?
(Cue the bukkit reference)
I’m crying.
I am the eggman, etc.
Whatever happened to Egg, anyway?
Hanging out with Edith.
koo koo ka choo
You might want to borrow some of these.
*offers g’s, a j and a b*
…Mrs. Robinson
The walrus called.
He wants his Bukkit back.
He also said Goo Goo Gjoob.
Didn’t hurt.:)
You sure?
No more yank-ee my wank-ee!
Donger need food!
Automobile….eeeeerrrrrrrrrrrpppsssshhhhhh…lake.
Oh look, it’s the amusing duck!!
LOL.
This is funny too, check it out:
Are you daft?
Definitely.
De rigueur due diligence.
What is this ductic debate now? Whatever it is, you can’t use my duct tape! I’m saving that for later!
We need the duct tape to fix the bells attached to the four poster bed so we can ring out our delight in a dulcet duet dedicated to our desires.
…Delicious.
dang!
*rolls eyes* no way, you’re kidding.
Depends entirely upon the situation. For best results, I do recommend it. Your mileage may vary.
Okay, but I have a pet hamster named Batman and I don’t call him, “My Pet Batman.”
your pet villain…
Finally we know what it is supposed to look like!
I knew it had something to do with ducks.
You forgot to stare.
-sniff- Is that all I am to you? A pair of glowering eyes!?
*SQUEEZE*
*hurriedly sneaks away*
Dik-diks?
Razor blades.
The Rubber Ducky song.
Auf Deutsch.
Mit Techno beat.
.
You’re welcome.
You misspelled “your”.
You misspelled “yore”.
You misspelled “indubitably”.
You misspelled “the Former Yugoslav Republic of Macedonia”
Вы ошибкой “СССР”, теперь вам будет выслан на ГУЛАГа.
*Stickers*
*Snickers*
*Snackers*
*Crackers*
*Caspers*
Clickie my nickie for my favorite Sesame Street song.
Thanks for the memories Fluffy.
I always thought the duckie was good for the sax.
Wow, rap!
mmmm Photoshop!
More Failblog fail.
The true fail is that the “my” is above “pet”. The word order should be reversed. Silly sentence structure fail.
FIRST!!!!!!!!!!!!
WTF? How is a typo like that made with no one realizing it?
LMAO MY BROTHER HAS THAT BOOK
Rub a chubby
That’s what I thought it said…
Dude, I STILL have this book. Can’t believe I didn’t think of posting it here. -_-
ROFL. That (13) must be age rating, not for under 13 years of age
reading for fun? that’s the understatement of the year.
this is stupid
Har!
=D
You can pet mine too, if you want!
He doesn’t just go.
hahahahahahahaha, the pic is funny, but theflame war between avis and hammykins on page 1 is funnier!
hahahahahahahahahaha, where the hell can i buy this fricken book
Google “A Beka Book.” Be prepared to shell out a LOT though. They’re overpriced and you have to buy the whole set.
Looks like a typo for book name. It’s so consider not apporaite for children.
Son: Dad, What’s a ****
Dad: um….. It’s your birdie
Son: O_o
feed him mykoc
bring back wash!!!!! prequel!
Dear Christ… I remember reading this in preschool… took us 3 days because the class kept cracking up.
Moby Duck!
hahaha – you wonder who would buy this for their store.
WE all (our most of us) have one
i lol’d
I’d want to show certain girls my pet… Want to pet it?
The perfect gift for that hot chick in the office!
DUCK, it’s a duck!
Funny title… I would never give my child this book. It should be taken off the market!!! Well they should at -least- correct the spelling…
Nice pic!! Thanks