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Hello? Hello? I’d like to order a pizza!
“AND MAKE SURE IT’S KOSHER THIS TIME, DAMNIT!”
And if the delivery guy drops it and then puts it back in the box, I’m bringing HIM back to the pizza place IN the box!!
Nice to know that someone still remembers it xD
FTW!
Ahh, references. Hats off to you sir or madam.
That’s what happens in Soviet Russia, dammit!
That’s what happens in ROMANIA is not in russia.
With extra Fail ontop?
Win!
Teddy!
Ooh! Are you any relation to ShamWow?
Vince turns into Captain Wow when he speaks the wizard’s name ShamWow!
Mekka lekka hi mekka hi de ho!
Somebody has been hitting the Jambi Juice.
Pterish the thought.
Your request has been cancelled.
Sincerely,
Microphone’s Butt Operators *wzzzt*
Boy, is this guy stupid.
Is this real? Are there people this stupid?
Nope. Old men are usually incredibly smart -or wise, as it should be told. Come back and talk to us when you are 80 years old and cannot really understand how MertiCrustbiteSoftware X -3001 does function with a button pushed in a reverse space-time continuum level xyz-1.
leave your inner nerd with your mom
Jonas… why would you do such a thing?
Severe Oedipus complex?
Senility: It’s the second childhood
Actual quote from John McCain: “The good thing about Alzheimer’s is you can hide your own Easter eggs.”
Microphones aren’t exactly the bleeding edge of technology.
Ofcourse, microphones don’t bleed, and they have no edges.
You clearly don’t work in children’s theater.
Well, as a physics student I do happen to know something about space-time. The way to push the button and the xyz-1 level did make me a bit disoriented.
In the end I guess I would just push the button.
Well, I am a physics student, so I do happen to know something about Space-time. The xyz-1 level and the reverse button made me a little confused, but I guess I’d just push the button.
NOt being able to understand the newst fancy technology- understandable.
Not being able to understand a MICROPHONE…not so much.
Im a soundman and yes the bigger their degree the dumber they are. This guy is probably a doctor. It happens all the time.
Doctors and CEO’s are the worst… and yes it’s scary when you think about it
>>Is this real? Are there people this stupid?
Answer: yes. As an audio professional, I’ve BEEN the guy who has to reach over and turn the microphone around.
The people who are least familiar with the physics of microphones are often doctors and medical professionals. Go figure.
Ia pula
involuntary ignorance win
Apple’s new iMike did not past the testing stage.
iMike FTW!
Mike Tyson isn’t in this video… he must be in the background, I must look harder!
Mike Tyson was too busy saving the world from global warming, when interviewed he said he was gunna challenge it to a prize fight. We’re still waiting for global warming to enter the ring.
I think Mike should fly to outer space in his Chuck Norris approved space suit and have the final showdown with global warming there.
no in fact he was too impatient for chuck’s approval and now chuck is seeking legal vengeance… with his fist!
LOOK AGAIN! ha ha!
Mike Tyson is the table!
Sometimes he rents himself out as a lectern.
Furniture Posing, it is an international skill Mike excels at and enjoys.
He gets to travel and gets paid well for his sturdiness.
damn, I shoulda known
old people is funny people
Oh no! Freaky Hershey Man has returned! RUN FOR THE HILLS!!!
Which HILLS?
. . . . . THESE? >>>>
<<<< THOSE?
Why can’t the HILLS RUN for themselves, the lazy bastards!
Where would they go anyway?
OH! Do I HAVE to RUN?
Can I call a cab?
I ran for some titties.
BEST… HILLS… EVER… I tell you.
Them and their microphone usage
Old people is wise people. They just cannot keep up with sprouting technology of the youth.
What isn’t smart is generalising an entire age group.
Oooh (apologies for geeking out here), did you recently see The Nature of Things episode on Cuttlefish? Tres intéressant.
Phoo…Cuddlefish, you changed your name back.
*is disappointed*
*is also disappointed*
I would smile every time you called yourself Cuddlefish.
If you do not change it back to Cuddlefish, after what these two ladies just said, you are a fool.
Coyote! I have finally caught up to you.
How are you?
Dandy. Next session is one week from now. Blech.
How’s with yourself?
No complaints.
Sister-in-law is moving out March 1st!
I remember you were having a hard time with paper work and such. Did you manage to get it all done or are “they” still torturing you?
It continues. See if you can wrap your head around some of these questions from the latest form.
5) Describe what you do from the time you wake up until going to bed.
9) What were you able to do before your illnesses, injuries, or conditions that you can’t do now.
14a) How often do you go outside?
19b) Are you right or left handed.
This is a small sampling of the lameness of the forms. Not getting flippant with them is tough. Not that I would know how to make a wise ass comment. Not in my nature.
Christ! You must be strong willed. I do not know if I could resist answering these questions with anything but wise ass remarks.
Oh no. Not at all.
*coughcoughyeahrightcoughhack….*
I keep wondering if anyone reads those things. It is amazing how strong willed one can be when hundreds of thousands of dollars are at stake. Not to mention my life.
Here Dragon. *hands over a cough drop* Sounds as if something might be sticking in your throat.
Time for bed. It has been four and a half hours since my last nap after all.
Keep an eye on Dilly. I do not like the sound of this nausea inducing medicine and the fifty pound weight loss I really do not like.
Wrong orifice.
That sounds wrong.
That sounds orifice.
That sounds like the word “that”.
That sounds like a plan
That sounds like a personal problem.
well, OK, but as long as it feels right to me I don’t care how it sounds to you…
Was he supposed to present the longest fart in human history? Then it was the wrong orifice.
Mouth fart perhaps?
You mean a burp?
God damnit, another missed -by little- first!
*says first*
*gets headbanged by everybody else*
JasonK Finally Firsts From Findland but Failingly Fails
“I just booted up. What’s that URL I should check out? FinallyFirst.com…
…
Hey! My JasonK’s first! Finally!
…
FinallyFirst.com!”
“Gets headbanged”? Is that supposed to be grunge speak or something?
“Yeah, this lamestain’s being such a harsh realm, dude. Let’s put our kickers to this cob nobbler and then go swingin’ on the flippity-flop away from the tom-tom club.”
I think he meant to say ‘gets gangbanged’.
No. Headbanged. Bang. Head. Headbang. Not that hard. To Understand.
Methinks our little troublemaker here doesn’t actually know what headbanging is…
He might be too young. Or just ignorant. Either way, I think you are correct, Dragon.
Or sarcastic. He is playing with you.
Pfft. Everyone who believes this, raise their hand.
*crickets*
Mm-hm.
Well, his bad spelling and his covering up of previous incidents is a bit fishy…
Move on with the future. This happened days ago.
*continues playing with naive Dragonwriter*
Oh this ought to be good.
*SNORTROFFLE!*
No, he is so not worth it.
Naive? Good God.
Coyote, that is EXACTLY what I was thinking.
At first glance, I thought that said ’snort truffle’ and I was wondering why you were snorting truffles. And then I thought, well maybe it’s the mushroom kind instead of the chocolate kind. And then I re-read it and laughed at myself.
She only plays naive with me.
Hee hee hee…!
How many cards does one deal out in a game of naive?
It doesn’t really matter. When it’s over, everything is laying face up on the table.
And the entire deck is made up only of hearts.
The Queen of Hearts she made some tarts all on a summer’s day. . .
The Knave of Hearts he stole the tarts and took them clean away…
The King of Hearts called for the tarts and beat the Knave full sore. . .
So, your parents never warned you about playing with fire?
Mr Watson, come here. I want you.
Aja, I’m afraid the innuendo machine seems to be overloading. Please wait while we fix it.
Um.. are YOU offering to fix it?
i’ll fix Her machine.
BFF is a male, and the machine is located in Lunchbox’s pants, who also happens to be male. Good luck with that.
Avis…I’m having grave reservations about this new non-funny person.
He could be deadly.
Anyone else detect a shade czuhc?
^of
That was a ghastly mistake!
In the spirit of things…
*kersplortch!*
That was quite a spectre-cal.
I’m just wondering why you reserved a grave for him. Maybe I didn’t understand the plot.
It was quite the undertaking…
Huh? What? Does my name pop up in a non-funny connotation?
I would like to propose an alteration to the troll cage.
*Seconds proposal*
*Gets indie hat*
i knew the guy was a male, when i said ”I’ll fix Her machine” i ment it as like… to a random person or whatever.
“Can you hear me NOW?”
Silly girl, switch to Alltell.
Did you just call Dragonwriter “silly girl”?
This can’t end well.
I lived a good life, it’s time to pay the bills.
*wanders back into thread*
Hmm? What’s going on?
*steps on little bit of miscellaneous debris*
Eww…when did we last clean up this place?
*scrapes GeneralGenocide off of boot and tosses onto compost pile*
How did you know I was under the boot, and how do you know where I live?
Alltell that ends well.
*sits down to watch the carnage*
Im still here, throwing some explodable Doods.
Popcorn anyone?
Ooooh! Me please!
*grabs giant gummy bear onna stick*
Gummy bear anyone?
Verizon BOUGHT Alltell.
For .002 cents?
Wouldn’t surprise me in the slightest.
But that’s just a matter of opinion.
They finally found a way to beat that cursed Chad! I wonder what the Wizard thinks.
The Wizard has like been laid off. He’s probably working at a Renn Faire. With the guys from free credit report dot com.
As long as chad isn’t hanging, we should be good.
Why? Are you intimidated by a well-hung Chad?
Especially if he’s Cuban… er… Floridian.
And he voted for Bush…er…Gore…er…Kerry
I heard Chad was pregnant.
Does he know who the father is?
Mr Kovacs, you’re talking out your ear again.
Eh? What did you say? I can’t hear you! I have a microphone in my ear!
Did you know that St. Peter is actually translated as St. Rocky? Petra back then meant rock, and Simon was named as St. Peter because he was a stable as a rock.
Did you know that it’s not actually translated as St. Rocky?
Did you know it actually is? In a free translation, anyway.
Ya get whatcha pay for. Especially when buying saints.
At a fire sale.
On Tuesday
OH MY GOD! IT’S A FIRE! sale
Well I do prefer my saints well done.
One Joan of Arc…coming up!
Could be Agnes too. I think. I’m not that familiar with the saints.
Or Saint Blaise, if you’re talking about a burning throat.
Actually, Agnes was beheaded. The myth goes that they tried to burn her but the wood would not catch fire, so a guard cut off her head with his sword.
I thought there was fire involved somehow. It just happened to be the absence of fire. I wasn’t raised with the stories of the saints, so I tend to be a bit hazy on them.
It’s amazing what will stick with you from two years in a Catholic junior high…
Hee! Something about being savaged by a nun for not knowing what feast day it is sticks with you alright.
Tonight on COPS, when nuns go savage!
Old people, lol.
remember the ‘I thought its was pepper!’ lady?
I hate to see what he’d do with a potato
I’m 31% sure thats the guy who called about the potato problem.
I’m 98% sure you made that percent up…
im 100% sure you are right.
67% of surveys say that made up numbers count just as much as real ones.
Class Listen Up!!
There are REAL NUMBERS:
1, 17, 23, 42, 1978236, 4, -86, 0, and etc.
and
there are MADE UP and NON-REAL NUMBERS:
c~=\q, vum, faketeen, faildred, and hunthirty.
Mixing these different types of numbers is BAD! Do Not! OK?
Making up more of them is dangerously. Go quick Away NOW.
Bad thing will happens. Life will ends. You remain a VIRGIN!
And what about that made up grammar you just used there, hmmm??? Rules outside of math apply to you, too!
Made up grammar have funs with having. Re and arrange words to fit tongue and brain have better thinking. Most is understand, many is there to feel the circumference of an idea touch all. Why! No?
On speed Yoda is. Huurmmm.
Why wluod you copmlian aoubt splliing if you udnertsnad it wtih jsut the frist and lsat lerttres? <— you probably already figured it out by now
LOL! I waked up mine sleepning wife!
Let sleepning your wife continue yes
Now, now. Stay calm. Don’t start getting irrational.
*tries to act natural*
For a split second there I read that as “au naturel*
DW? I am so integer.
Don’t worry. She already has your number.
That’s true…I hope I don’t give him a complex.
You make me whole. I’d have a decimal outlook on life without you.
Perfect.
*smile*
Just like 6, 28, 496, and 8128.
He’s only fractionally irrational, if a bit negative.
A triple jest. Humor cubed. Nicely done.
I’m still trying to formulate a prime pun.
Three on the tree?
four on a spore
In an ideal world, we would all be tossing rings in fields of joy.
It’s “four on the floor”. What are you, 6?
As far puns go, when I try two get one I end up with zero.
“With hand on heart, You’re right from the start
You taught me to take my part
No cross to bear, no reason to care, my life was all up in air
Four to the floor, i was sure, never seeing clear
I could have it all, whenever you are near”
(square root of negative two) percent of the population thinks you have a brain.
Two negative people shuned by the population thinks with their brain?
I dun get it.
Clearly.
Dear god, the shuning!!
That’s more than half!
12% of me says ”AAAWWWWRRRIGGGHTTT!”.
I’m curious about the rest and also the margin of error.
The margin of error is plus or minus 66.6%.
I’m 100% sure your name is Princess Nancy, not Kinteoka.
mr. cuddles, when did you add the ‘magnificient’? Every time I look at your name, all I can think of is “The Magnificient Mr. Mistoffolees” from Cats.
All I can think of is “Those Magnificient men in their flying machines”
Click my name.
hey, you still on? In response to your question yesterday, my avatar is actually a piece of my own artwork. I call myself abstract because I am an abstract painter
Really? I never knew that. Have your paintings made it into any galleries yet?
well, I have been in afew galleries, but that was before I started painting. I used to be a potter and had a set in a local gallery. I also displayed a multi-media piece called an altered book, it was pretty cool. Eventually I am planning on opening my own gallery. Working on my Masters in Business, thought just in the saving up the cash stage right now.
if you want to see more of my work, I’ll send you my myspace address
Why don’t you link to some pictures of your work? I’m sure many here would enjoy having a look-see. I know I would.
Agreed. Link away.
alrighty all, I’d be glad to, but I need some tech help. lol, mildly comuter illeterate
You know the box above the comments that says URI? You put the link or website address in there, so when we click on your avatar, we can go to that website.
here goes. If this works, you’ll have to go to my album entitled artwork
having trouble
it won’t let me any ideas why
n/m just have to click see all at the top of the page
It took me awhile to find the photos of the artwork, but it was worth it. I found it very pleasing. Thanks for sharing!
any time, ans thank you for the compliment. a lot of that is my older work, I really need to get some of my more recent pieces on there. I’m having trouble wording this, but they look better. more refined, more introspective
Nice work.
Untitled 2 is my favorite.
I can’t find them! Where are they?
Go to the top of the page and look for photos under Jess♥.
Personal favorite is untitled 5.
Abstract, those are lovely! I like “Soul.”
Found ‘em.
I really like untitled 6. And the balloon over Hell. These are really nice!
And night fire.
And untitled 3.
And balloon revisited.
*biting tongue about everything*
A tongue sandwich this late at night? You’ll get an upset stomach.
Let it out. You’ll feel better.
Do I get some help with that?
In an abstract sort of way.
Later that night, he shot himself in the head mistaking his gun for his toothbrush…!
So if he hadn’t died that night, he would kill a robber with a toothbrush?
No, he would’ve flossed with with a knife…
Anyone think maybe he just wanted to clean his ears with it?
or speak into the mike gangstah style?
speak gangstah style: yes, good idea. this will be the next gimmick at some concert
He is Romanian, but this can happen to all of us above a certain age.
Aren’t we all a certain age?
I just hapened to have changed my certain age 2 days ago
Did you have it legally changed?
no need, it happens every day that it changes.
But in his case the number went down.
Or maybe he just renews the same age every year.
It’s now back to single digits.
It’s going into negatives now.
Must be a fetus…
anyhow anyone got a fetus?
I have an idea for a Fail Pic and I need one stat
yes, i am, too… and I happen to understand Romanian… but now for fun: this is less painful than the idiot who faked putting the hot iron to his ear some days ago. And another fun: I sometimes invert my mouse (it only works with a wireless) and than the arrow keeps going in strange directions.
LMFAO!
Did you check it for the number “2″?
ha, yes, but it was photoshopped
I first read that as insert mouse. And it still made sense, disturbingly so.
So much so that this mushroom popped up.
Disturbing propagation.
Actually he’s a pretty fun guy.
I love the mushroom! It’s so cute! ^_^ Did you know that fungi are neither animals nor plants? Lichen’t think of a pun, but I still love the mushroom.
So do I. This little guy is an Amanita Muscaria that I found in the park in front of my office building. It has psychoactive properties that have been revered for centuries. It is also a close relative of the most poisonous mushroom in the world, Amanita Phalloides.
By the way I lichen your pun as well, feeling symbiotic lately?
Recurring conflagration.
Disconcerting dissemination.
Haha, he’s told at one point “invers” (loosley translated “change position”) and he flips it and kepps talking like it’s a phone lol
yes, indeed he thought it is a phone. with such weird mobile phone designs lately no wonder… and the off-voice says “invers”, that means “other way round” now imagine he was trying to put a water glass next to his ear.
Wow. . . just. . . *facepalm*
*shakes head*
shake other body parts
No.
I can remove some of HIS body parts, if you’d like.
*grins*
That totally goes along with my plan for the troll cage!
You want to buy some of those Disney parts boxes…don’t you??
Nope, I suggest we install giant SlapChops to the roof of the troll cage a la Whack-a-mole. Several of them. And watch them scurry to avoid the blades. Remains can be disposed of in various ways.
I like that idea. But what about Skwerlly’s FAIL BOG?
If you must, you can dispose of the bloody remains there, as a sort of a chum, if you will, for the beasts.
The FailBOG takes Trolls in any condition. “Live and Kicking” is preferred because their futile struggling interactions with the Bog Monsters makes for a great show.
Remember we welcome bulk quantities in cages and we will pick up! We sell cages locks, tasers, clubs, shiny things, cookies, dragon snacks, picnic supplies, translators, innuendo phrase books, bukkits and Troll repellent.
Do you sell tazer batteries? Mine seems to have run out.
Yes!
But as a cheaper alternative, we have a Stop & Swap, leave the dead taser, take a fully charged one and we bill monthly! But we will need your Credit Card and some DNA.
DNA? What the he-
*suddenly chloroform rag put over mouth and blacks out*
What? Cicili’s making soup again?
*Snickers.*
Can we have the blades slowly lower? Can we, can we? Huh? Huh?
The FailBOG’s Bog Piranhas eat slowly; taking small precise bites allowing more and long lasting pain as the Troll take as long as 2-3 weeks to succumb!
You can, or you can have at with a really big mallet.
The fun of the SlapChop enhanced troll cage is YOU control the carnage!
The SlapChop – gore for all the family!
“You’re going to love my nuts!”
Is there something wrong with that sentence? Let’s see. It lets her express herself. It lets her tap into her need for communication. I think that I will let her off this once.
*blink*
*is confused*
Crap. Misread. Self satistfiededness all to ruin.
Don’t despair. You’ll get me one of these days.
*hug*
I was after Avis that time. Instead of “The fun of the SlapChop enhanced troll cage is YOU control the carnage!”, I read that it should have been “The fun of the SlapChop enhanced troll cage lets YOU control the carnage!”.
I still blame it all on the Hadron Collider.
That second way is just a bit off! I can agree to blame the collider, if you like.
But I maintain that my comment made sense.
Your comment made perfect sense. It is what is left of my brain that is being zapped.
How ARE you feeling these days?
Feel fine. Just sleep alot. See the Onc. tomorrow. I expect to have long words about Fridays CT scan and the barfing issue.
How did the forehead work out?
I’m on meds that make me barf all the time, too. I lost 50 pounds, I look like hell. I feel you. But I think you’re a brave, sexy man, pup.
Tell the oncologist that you have a contrasting opinion.
And that you’ll show him a real projector for those films if he absolutely insists.
What’s the matter Dilly? Prognosis?
Notice how I am too much of a gentleman to say that I wish you were feeling me? God I’m noble.
What is going on here Avis? This comment was at the bottom of the page, and consequently made no sense. Perhaps it is that super collider messing with my mind.
Sorry ’bout that. I blame the blogmonster. It’s been acting up again.
It has to stop acting up to act up again.
Are you sure that it is not some ¿ɹǝpıןןoɔ ǝɥʇ ɟo ʇɔǝɟɟǝ ǝpıs pɹıǝʍ
what da ya mean: no? yes! shake them but keep the microphone steady.
*arrests cosmopolit3 for disturbing the peace*
cosmopolit3 is not arrestable
But IS detestable.
And he certainly is not arresting. Not in the least.
And THAT is not contestable!
Comestible?
*offers snack to Avis*
*takes proffered Digestible*
Thank you!
no, i am as stable as a rock.
I find fault with your assertion.
His statement is quite shaky.
It’s a castle built on sand.
♫House built on a weak foundation♫
♫It will stand oh no♫
The public’s opinion over him seems to have easily ben a landslide.
More like the first 3 castles that the king of Swamp Castle built
Fine then,
*tazes cosmopolit3, and tosses to the FAIL BOG monsters to play with*
i eat nine to ten monsters for breakfast
That’s no way for you to talk about your mother!
You my fine feathered friend, just made my day.
Don’t sell yourself short. Everyone is arrestable.
no, my father is a police officer and my mum is the queen of the world and my sista is a gangsta. So, stay away from me.
Hush small child! Your brain requires more input and much less output of stupidity and maybe a kick or two.
hey, after a long break when I have had my dinner with my beloved one: First: what is your name? something like skwell…. and the like? you crazy man? Second: yes, I like imput, if it is good. I am a human. Third: stupidity? WTF? my sista is a gangsta, take care, you &%@!?§ Fourth: what are you talking about? Romanians? Microphones? Dead batteries? Mobile Phones? or what? and donÄt you have fun anymore?
1. You swore at Skwerlly
2. You insulted him repeatedly
3. You made him seem like a fool
You will be the new bait for the FAIL BOG monsters. Toodle-oo!
I question 3., but I totally support the new bait position for cosmopolit3.
Okay, here goes:
*dangles cosmopolit3 above the FAIL BOG monster on a piece of thread*
Oh yeah, sadly there are fools idiots and such; logic and humo(u)r fail them and we reap the reward of superiority of purpose and the joy of
having an inconsequential morsel to toy with.
Dangle him lower! I wish to see blood!
*munches cookies*
*slowly lowers cosmopolit3 into the jaws of the FAIL BOG monster*
*he screams and shouts*
Nobody insults Skwrlly Bob and gets away with it!
*Sits back in a comfy sofa and waits for the show to begin*
Popcorn anyone? I also brought some good tequila & limes.
Hey! I am Queen of the World!!
no, the queen of the world is my mom! You have to proove it! My mon has a crown on her had!
*grabs crown from cosmo’s mum*
*disappears into woods*
She took away the crown that used to have a loving home on a had…
Yes, those hads do make lovely homes.
*pictures cosmopolit3’s mom walking around with broccoli tied to her head*
They really do. There are so many Hadish builders in London they outnumber the English one! They are so hardworking…
Why would you want someone to shake you?
well, it depends…
*shakes tazer at cosmopolit3*
take care, he is everywhere and he sees you right now. wait until he stops shaking, then he will aim.
Need a battery?
Ahhhhh the old phone in the microphone trick!! Second time I’ve fallen for that this week!!
Silly scotteh, tricks are for kids.
And I cant get enough of that sugar crisp!
Except when they’re after me lucky charms!!!
Magically delicious!
Well, gang, it’s time for me to say Cheerio[s]. Out of here for a week. Keep the trolls at bay until my return, and a Happy Valentine’s Day to all! (Especially to my favorite couples: Lou & Mookie, Dragon & the Admiral, Avis and Christopher, SB and SqEm, and Loz & POB.)
Take care! (And keep your fingers crossed that “Sully” is the pilot on my flight tomorrow!)
Safe travels Judy. Enjoy!
Have a wonderful, amazing, romantic time, Judy.
My proefessor did exactly the same thing! But he was like 90 years old so you can forgive him.
Man, you got a proffessor?
over here in Puerto Rico all we have are barely passable teachers,
heck english class is given in spanish.
well, when you are 90 you get a pro-phone and then you are a professor.
I used to study you know
Sux to be you
and this guy is older, he only looks like so young.
Clasic Romanian Fail…
Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you….
MC Konfuzion!!!!!
*crowd roars*
Thank goodness he wasn’t ironing at the time.
What is it with the high percentage of Romanian fails? The log-thrower, the car and the trams, this microphone guy…
Well you know… Eastern Europeans. Explains it all.
AAAAH!!! A SCARY LOOKING RACOON!!! RUN!!!
it just wants some love.
*gives love* AAAHAHAHAHHAAAAAA!!! IT BIT ME!! I hope it’s not rabid *faints from shock*
Don’t forget the Rabies!!! Everything tastes better w/ rabies…
Looks like it’s time to go to the pub.
Thank God you’re not another occidental ignorant…
no, I am not ignorant and I am Chapmanwürgerling, if you know what that is
I always like a good Chapmanwürgerling with my filet mignon.
hey guy, I am a little east-european. in fact I call myself a cosmopolit, but for the cause… they are all lovely people, look at this guy, how lovely he helds his microphone to his ear. Ever saw a westerner do this? No, really. They have guts, man, believe me.
Thanks god you know that ! american’s or for that matter occidentals seem to have bigger e-penis when they say “east-europeans” . Hope your senility lasts you as much time it takes me to obtain a green card to the land of idiots ! you ignorant piece of occidental poo.
yeah, the car and the trams are big. I have sent this image to my taxi car company, so they would not complaint when I have another small accident (and they must pay for it)
he went home that night and cooked two pillows up for dinner
sounds delicious. have you seen the one on AFV where the lady thought it was a pepper grinder? Hilarious
I belive that exact same one…
is on FAILBLOG! *cue weird shock music*
*SHOCKED!*
*Passes out*
yes, I remember this one, it was good. How nice people are sometimes, when they do not make wars.
no, he first put one chicken inside of each pillow.
Man, watch this video 5 times with the volume off and iTunes on and suddenly the old man is the lead singer of Train…
”And IIIIIIIIII’m calling all you angeeeeeeels”
I wonder what he’d do with a shotgun?
shoot you
Your lunch period is over now. Time to get to algebra class. Scoot.
you are right. I will go back to algebra, it is so much more sensitive that all humans and their stupid thoughts.
Actually, I think you’re due in English class…
yes, i should do this, too. I love languages, and English is the winner, they say…
Straight question. What country are you in? I suspect that English is not your mother tongue. Anyone who has any grasp of another language gets my admiration. I am hopelessly monoglot.
You might try to be somewhat more pleasant. You’ll be surprised at the results.
I live in Germany, but as my virtual name puts it: I call myself a cosmopolite. Yes, and I love languages, I speak 6 of them, Romanian included.
J’en parle seulement deux.
SIX! Are you saying that to make me feel like more of a complete linguistic dolt than I already do?
I have a keyboard pal in Itzehoe. Fortunately she can speak English.
You have a keyboard???!!
Technically it is a quill pen with a wire leading from it.
You’ll be happy to know that, in your absence, Dragon felt compelled to pick up the slack in hassling me about my lack of current technology.
I do what I can.
Well, we, Eastern-Europeans, need to learn a couple of foreign languages such as English, German and French, because very few people of this nations ever learn a second language. We have to communicate somehow and on-line translators do a very bad job at it. Besides, languages are easy. Math is tough. And listening to fossil communist cattle like the one in the video is tougher.
You misspelled “I’m a ass-hat”
Remedial English class.
Why do you think he’d hold it up his ear like a phone and talk in it?
because its obviously a phone.
MicroPHONE LOL
Cuz it had a cool ringtone.
ringtones are for dweeps
Ahhh, it’s moments like this that make me proud to be Romanian… =S Aside from the fact that he’s old and isn’t “up-to-date” with modern technology, but he’s also in Eastern Europe, where they tend to be behind in any kind of advances, be it technological, cultural… Logical, etc.
hey veronica, you do not sound like a proud Romanian. beeing up-to-date is allways a matter of the date, it changes quicker than you can. In cultural ways the Romanians are far ahead of most other Europeans. They are just a good bunch of people whose fate has given them a poor start.
“beeing up-to-date is allways a matter of the date, it changes quicker than you can. ”
Half a century should be enough to “get up-to-date”, right? Microphones are not cutting edge technology.
That’s right. Still, have mercy for old people, you will be one of them.
yes, you are right. But. frankly, tell me, what is the difference between a wireless microphone and a wireless phone?
English class is over…you need to head to Electronics 101–STAT!
I am a proud Romanian, but we Romanians really *are* behind the times. That wasn’t the case in the 60’s maybe, despite being under a communist regime. But now, Romania totally adopted this admiration for all the worst things about American culture – it’s way behind the rest of Europe, even though it just joined the EU. I mean, the EU even threatened to kick out Bulgaria and Romania from the union simply because they can’t get their government in order.
Now, I love Romania, and always will, but don’t try and tell me that they’re good people with bad luck. That *was* true up until 20 years ago. Then Romanians had multiple chances to get their shit together since ‘89, and they didn’t. They are losing what beautiful culture they had, if they haven’t lost it already.
actually Romanian actually is derrived from Dacian, which is a metaphor for stupid people
hey, you did not listen well in history class. The dacians were once kings of the eastern world. What is left nowadays is the Dacia, the Romanian car. Not so bad, BTW, half the price of the Renault and same specs.
Dacia Logan, the Romanian car
“actually Romanian actually is derrived from Dacian, which is a metaphor for stupid people”
I hope that’s a bad joke, because that is just not true. Where did you even hear that? It’s true that Romanian culture is partially derived from ancient Dacian culture, but that was the name Romans gave them at the time – the complete version being “Dacia Felix”. If you like latin translations, maybe you should look that up. And perhaps, the meaning of the term “metaphor” as well.
…but hes so old!
That’s mean. You are mean!
yes, I agree, rankmy….is mean, he should be sent to the moon to live there the rest of his life.
no, without a “but”. Yes, he is so old, this is why he is allowed to do silly things.
and when you will be that old, you may do even sillier things, like begging to God that he will reward you with remission!
Wow, if you’re old you get to do silly things?
first thing id probably do is go infront of the White House
and have a sezure… just to see the reaction time of those dudes in black.
d(^_^)b
yeah, this is right. They probably react much too slow.
JUST IN ROMANIA CAN HAPPEN !!!! :LX:Xoh that country ..
numa in romania se poate intampla asa ceva fratzilor ati ajuns pe failblog =))
cum scrii fratilor, ce, ai uitat romana?
nu, asta nu se poate intimpla numai in Romania, dar in orice care alta tara. La a o asemenea virsta asta se poate intimpla si tine, oriciunde esti, chiar daca esti in USA…
nu cred!!! crima! dumb ass old guy! jeez!
Does the term microPHONE confuse you? LOL!
no, this guy is really a cosmopolit, I adore him. He understands the word PHONE, he knows Greek, unlike most of you.
I’d adore him more if he knows how to use it
P.S. I speak English, Nihongo, Tagalog, & Quenya
Whaw, I have never heard of those languages. really, I am a little Romanian and therefore interested in languages. What are they, where do they come from?
Japanese, Filipino and. . . Elfin?
*has nerdy memory of passing notes in class written in Tengwar alphabet*
Click my name AA.
It was a popular engraving item about 20 years ago.
Hee!
shut up allready idiot >.> he is just old
and you are a stupid young guy, thinking that you understand everything
yeah . like you :]
well, if you are young, I like you too.
yah like you :]
obelix, be human.
You’re the guy in the video aren’t you?
no, I am on ht eother side of the world. But I love people, and I have spent my childhood in Romania, and it was good.
Save your breath…You’ll need it to blow up your date.
what do ya mean? I never blow up my dates, I am a little Romanian, I am binding.
You’re a little something alright.
A little prat?
I only know PRAT as a photographic class in New York…
Prat? Poop Regularly and Tinkle?
thank you. I love to be a little something. Working for more. But: why should I save my breath? I have good air here, ilive in Berlin, they are intelligent people, they drive bicycles and not cars here.
*guy on other side of microPHONE* yes vladimir, tonight ve blow up ze vorld!
mwhahaha *malefic laugh *
lol O_o lame
no comment, this is gibberish. lol is not enough nowadays.
Awwwww look guys, someone got a new computer for his 8th birthday and he picked Failblog to test it out!
actually i don’t spend all my time on a blog, hmmmmmm?
no, neither do I, but for the moment I enjoy it.
well, this is a good start into real life.
vladimir is my cousin, and he is a cool guy.
perhaps he is to your face…but what he does on the other side of the world is a different story.
annnnnnnd now he’s talking to himself. What a dork.
what is a dork?
A whale’s penis.
No, a dork is a piece of zebra faeces.
my synonym says a dork is “Depp, Idiot”. Well, I have learnt something today, so all this waste of time was not for the bad.
Depp? That’s German! And Bavarian, too! Are you German?
not bavarian, are you crazy? do I smell of beer? No, but I live in Germany, that’s
right.
I thought so. So you are German? Interesting.
in the north.
*snork!*
more to the east of it.
what is snork?
I am not German, I am a cosmopolit
who is who and where are you
A snork is somewhere between a snort and a snicker. It has many uses. This particular application means that I found BondFan’s comment to be humo(u)rus, and thus snorked.
And the *s are indicative of action.
My GAWD this kid is happy with the “reply” button, isn’t he??
thank you for the lesson, I am always open to learning something new (because I have spent my childhood in Romania). The clammer is wrongly put. it should be humo(u)rous. Never mind, we are all humans. I understood it more like a snicker, that means like something boring. Some people, I know, have a slight physical problem when laughing, they make snorting sounds while breathing in after laughing, is it something like this?
Don’t we all get a little happy the first time we find the button?
You are taking internet expressions too far. Snork is basically when you laugh while you smirk, in an almost cynical fashion. I’m pretty sure Avis does not have any respiratory problems.
It is a laugh of appreciation. You *snork* when you think something is especially funny, humo(u)rous, witty, or clever.
For example…I am right now *snork!*ing at raelalt!
To all: thank you for the nice evening. I don’t have the time every evening for such nonsense, but this was good. The reply button is a good thing, yes, when you type in you get your aggression out. Now I know what snork is, now I know something about Romania, now I know some virtual names that maybe I will encounter someday later. Good night.
*waves goodnight*
*phlumphs down in a chair, exhausted*
That little guy took a lot of energy! I’m glad he enjoyed the Failblog experience, though.
If you go back and read his comments imagining Dieter Sprockets is saying them, they are simply awesome! Now we dance!
I really really do not want raelalt to be more specific about which button that she is referring to, do I.
She? I’m confused, I think…
I think he’s referring to my comment about the “reply” button.
I think…
Yes I was.
the Bavarians would say this is “a schmarrn”
I thought a dork was a pregnant worm!
hey, that was great. So now I know: a dork is a dorm where worms get pregnant.
Uh, that’s not what I said.
well, what you said is not that important. What I have understood is… so, is a dorm a dork or is it pregnant when it is a worm?
So, how IS Cousin Larry?
Which cousin Larry?
whaw, he is GREAT! without words.
never mind what Larry, just the cousin…
The one that seems like a Perfect Stranger(s).
Avis: “The one that seems like a Perfect Stranger(s).”
.
I went with the wrong TV reference.
Was more thinking of Larry, his brother Daryl, and his
other brother Daryl.
i don’t watch TV, for me it is a machine for making people dumb.
Well you have to admit it works pretty damn good then.
On Meepos.
A dork is someone who farts in the bathtub and bites the bubbles.
I like to fart in the bathtub,, it makes such nice noises. I only hope my wife is not near by.
In that case, you may be half way there.
Livin’ on a prayer!
say this again
Ok gang, I’ve got this one.
.
this again
I was saving that for coyote.
THink of it more as a tribute, a homage as it were, then plagiarism.
…an homage, then plagiarism?? One right after the other?
*ducks*
Yes a double fail, I never do anything half assed.
See I even have a number two sticker.
hey, that’s good. thank you for for the new word. I will use it next time, and will rememeber you.
actually i’m pretty sure what i did was reply, and that means you respond to another person, which means i’m talking to the other person. And i must ask you, who were you responding to, because in order for your comment to nest youu must have responded to me, but you seemed to be talking to someone else, so really you are talking to yourself hoping people will respond
well , sorry, this is the mechanism of this blog, while you write, someone else answers already, and his connection is quicker than yours… So now I know what is dork.. is is apenis or a zebra? -;))
a dork is a zebra
white and black or black and white?
no, he is on this side of the world. But as you may know, the world is a round plate, so here is there and what was is what is and the poor will be rich and the like.
well, in his defense, ‘phone’ IS in the word.
that is the point i tried to get across earlier, but people just seem to think I put PHONE in capital letters for no reason from the looks of it.
PHONE is like Phsssh
you are right. Left is right and right is wrong.
well, here is a first lesson: it is not important what you wanted to say, but what people understood.
i will have to keep that in mind, i am not suprised my first ever post was a fail
(Psst…mine was too, way back when!)
hey, mine is all the time…even now.
Speaking of time, isn’t very late in cosmopolitania?
yes, it is. almost 24oo hours. I have to go to sleep.
Maybe he thought that it was supposed to be a very small phone.
yes, it is a small phone. It was a MICRO phone.
(psst: It’s a lot less funny when you explain it)
that’t good. Thasnk you.
you made a mistake similar to mine! haha!
raelalt, before I go to bed: thank you for the sportfully evening.
So this (click my name) is not you? If so though, your ability to type in English
has certainly deteriorated is less then a month. You might have that checked out.
yes, I have clicked your name. the overturned car, a symphony. I need to go to bed, I want to go to the Berlinale tomorrow (the Film Festival), good Nacht.
Good night little troll.
*Chuckles.*
Good call Raelalt.
Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
Faint hearts never won fair ladies!
A penny earned is a piss-poor way to make a living.
An apple a day is worth two in the bush.
A bird in the bush, is way better then one in your hand.
Avis isn’t going to like that one, raelalt.
Besides, you can’t make a sow’s ear out of a pig in a poke.
I kind of agree with him, from the other side I guess, besides when you lay down with dogs, diamonds are a girl’s best friend.
(I deeply apologize for that btw.)
I should probably let sleeping gift horses lie in the mouth, but I can’t resist pointing out that you should never count all of your eggs in one basket before they’ve hatched.
Last
(this is hypocritical but whatever) FAIL!
yes, he is last!
roooooomaniaaaaaaa
)) always amazing 
))))
lmao! what a retard!
O.o
poor ol fella!!!
This guy is romanian, a… romania… my dear country….. should be all over this failblog!!
I think I just cummed!
“This video is no longer available”
Um…Failblog fail?
what a dork, and with all those years experience he seems to have he still couldn’t get it right. Never mind, next time he might stick it in this month.
BUAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
That stupid asshole is a party member in one of the f$#@-up parties here in Romania.
99% of the politicians here in Romania are like that old-fart!
Eat-s$#4 and die asshole motherf$#%#$ romanian politicians!
I love old people.
an the other thin even stupider is the other guy saying “invers” meaning he is trying to help the guy by saying to him “hold it the the other way around!”.
:sigh:
oh my god that poor old man!! that must have been very embarrassing!
Clueless old people crack me up, except when I’m in line behind them. Then they make me consider homicide.
or when you are driving behind them and you are on a tight schedule, that makes me consider going twisted metal style and putting a rocket launcher on the top of my car.
Huehuehuehuehue
Muito burro ! kkk
I’ll have to try this next time I’m in front of a group.
So sad this happens in Romania… (im from Romaine)
I saw this on TV the other day. It was part of Attack Of The Show’s Around The Net segment.
So cute xD
DUMBASS !! xD
Damn… that’s a romanian guy…. politician.. idiot.
Others tell him that he should flip the microphone but he says that it’s okay, than he flips it and puts it to his ear….lol XD
In Soviet Russia, Mic talks into you!
Be nice to people not from this country, unless they are Russians who believe they have a great government….
In Soviet Russia, microphone calls you O_O
Probably got mixed up with phone and MICROphone…
better write….OLD AGE FAIL!!!!
Yes it’s Romania lolololololol
lolromania does it again !
Makes me proud to be romanian… >.>
Too much technology for him!
gangsta
:):)
plm, are si o varsta omu, nu e vina lui ca nu canta la microfon de la 4 ani ca voi. “Romania” -cu dispret. pai da, ca asa so ajuns , da nu din cauza oamenilor ca asta, din cauza prea multor copii fara respect de nimic.
ring ring hello