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Cheezburger Network Blog
Godwin’s law!
Reductio ad Hitlerum?
I may get FOOOMED by Dragon for this, but here goes:
Godwin’s Law is a law stating that discussions on the Internet will eventually lead to comparisons with Hitler and the Nazis.
Close – the longer the discussion gets, the higher the chance that it will lead to comparisons to Hitler and the Nazis.
But with failblog, rather than Hitler, we have a tendency to potato.
*does the mashed potato*
Pardon me, you’re doing it wrong and ruining your pants as well.
Oh, I dunno. You know what they say, ‘a mind stretched by a new idea will not go back to its original shape’
And besides…I wasn’t wearing pants.
*stares*
That lady knows how to hang the curtains.
A j-strap stretched by a new pc of input will never go bk to….
NEVURRRR MYNDDD
SIEG HEIL!!!
HEIL ______!
Why isn’t Aja free to invoke Godwin’s Law?
You’re just as bad as Hitler and the Nazis!
Pretty sure no one said that Aja should not invoke Godwin’s law.
whoooosh!
Oh no you d’int, mikey D! How dare you say we Reductio ad Potatum? The potato jokes are the highlight of every thread! (and besides, if it was true, I’d be the loser in each and every thread)
I believe the second part of the law states that all threads end as soon as it is invoked.
Oh, wait…
I thought it stated that the first person who brought up Hitler was the loser, not that the thread ended.
FB certainly lost it here.
I get that with my Hitlers too. Munch ‘em as I might I can never keep ‘em down. Just don’t agree with me, I guess.
Apparently perfume is a reducing agent.
your opportunity to smell like a Death Camp.
Hitler-rrific!
Hitler was definitely good at reducing.
EXPELLIARMUS!
it sucks!
What’s that?
No. It’s called »Reductio ad Hitlerum«
I wish I had known that so I could post it a day before you did!
Oh wait a minute…
Side effects include ruling all of Europe and extermination of Jews
Get caught up in the Fuhrer!
It’s Führer. Keybord Win.
It’s keyboard. Me win.
groan
Love Potion Number Nein.
ROFL
BEST LINE EVER….well third
*snorkity!*
Genius!
Love potion number no?
9 is ‘neun’, schweinhund.
I like Mussolini body spray almost as much. Never did have much luck with the Stalin shampoo or the Mao toothpaste though.
try the Franklin D. Roosevelt conditioner, i’m sure it would work out well.
My thoughts exactly.
let’s smell like hitler!
I heard it was Walt Disney’s favorite cologne!
Smells like teen Hitler.
A scent to die for.
“Excuse me miss, does this perfume smell like Zyklon B to you?”
Hitler – for men
Smells like burning Jews and death pits.
Only $39.99 at Macy’s
such an innocent fragrance.
Ummm…where exactly were you going with this one?
–A Jew whose family died in “The Death Pits”
Your safe. Nobody accused your family of molesting you so no bad feelings.
OK Merreck…(cracks his knuckles)
1. Pronoun/literacy fail. It’s “you’re” not “your,” you insignificant piece of fetid rotting trash. Used in a sentence, (to wit): “YOU’RE a completely worthless turd of a human being, and YOUR post shows a complete lack of sensitivity for what is one of the most represensible acts in all of Mankind.
2. Human kindness fail. A tragedy has befallen my family and you somehow tie in molestation?
3. Additional literacy fail. The correct pronoun usage is “No one” instead of “Nobody.” Used in a sentence, (again, to wit): “NO ONE would care if you put a bullet in your head, but since you lack an actual functioning brain, the fact you would miss would surprise NOBODY.”
4. Comprehension and history fail. How could dead family members have molested me before I was born?
My recommendation to you, my malorodous friend-who-just-fell-off-the-turnip-truck, is, GET OFF YOUR SISTER, turn off NASCAR, turn off the computer, go crack open a book and learn something about life.
If that’s possible down there in Arkansas.
Hey… uhh.. Doc? I think you’re being a tad harsh on Merreck. His reference to molestation came from a fail published yesterday, and the drama that surrounded a few people posting in that fail. Had nothing to do with your family or you.
While I think that Merreck could have refrained from making that comment, I definitely think you can refrain from the name calling, the cursing and the Arkansas-bashing.
*gets off soap box*
Ahem…*disassociates!*
I think you might be in the wrong place here at Failblog. This is a place of fun and laughing at other peoples failures. I am sorry for you and the horrible events that befell your, but you have got to learn to let go. I wasn’t going anywhere earlier except for a simple joke that you obviously took seriously. I do not view the holocaust as a joke nor do I believe in any of the ideals that were believed then. I only know that as a survivor of those terrible acts, you should learn to educate those who do not understand what truly happened and embrace those that fear the unknown about Jewish people. I also have family that has seen truly horrible wrongs, but I have learned to try and teach those people love and understanding instead of insulting them. Please understand that to leave all of that prejudice behind, you must learn to show that you are more than those beliefs. Thank you. That is all.
SomeIrk
Yep…molested.
*flutter that is…gah!
Dont get so flustered..
-An Irish decendant whose predecessors were slaves to England.-
*New* Htiler: Last Days
imbued with that dank grandma’s basement smell…. aaaand cyanide!
*New*
Hitler: Last Days
imbued with that dank grandma’s basement smell… aaand cyanide!
handkerchief perfume?
What did you accidenty the handkerchief perfume?
In tough times, Its all about niche marketing.
But NIETZSCHE marketing? It’s insane…
Ah! The horrendous public conception of Nietzsche… he was a misogynist, not an anti-Semetic…
And that probably wasn’t even his fault…
The misogyny, not the lack of anti-Semitism. Jews are good people. The Forbidden Zone is the best film ever made. Seriously.
What?
There is so much fail in this post…I can’t even begin.
Fail to illustrate the fail?
Droll.
You made a self-fail. You said something, and then you asked yourself what you just said.
True. In the same style as N’s ‘Attempt at a self criticism’…
It was a cultural reference goddammit!
Obscure culture, but culture nonetheless.
How now?
Brown cow?
Is the correct answer!
*applauds*
Yes he did?
I completely agree?
And the pro-Nietzsche conception seems to think that he’s compared to the Nazis because of his supposed anti-Semitism. Actually, it’s his ethics.
True. But, there’s surprisingly little that links Hitler to Nietzsche even ethically. Nietzsche thought that personal weakness and moral degradation was important for a society to develop properly. He thought that while a state would be ‘strong’ without these attributes, it would grow pointlessly, destructively and boorishly, and he gave the Romans as an example of this phenomenon.
Hitler loved the Romans, and he was VERY intolerant of any perceived immorality, according to his own definitions.
Nietzsche was an anti-Nationalist, and declared himself stateless. Hitler was very much a pro-nationalist. Nietzsche declared himself to be against Wagner once the latter developed nationalist ideals, while Hitler thought that Wagner’s work was an ideal expression of the Teutonic element of his regime.
Of course, a few passages, especially against the Christian concept of pity, can be seen to be encouraging Hitler’s point of view (especially to Christians). But, Nietzsche contradicted himself so much that anyone’s point of view can be seen to be supported by at least something he wrote. And, Hitler gained an entirely moronic and superficial idea of Nietzsche’s ‘will to power’; Nietzsche’s concept emphasises self-sacrifice and personal isolation, and the idea that the worst possible outcome is to actually win at anything.
I’m not exactly pro-Nietzsche, but I do consider that his work is complicated enough to be simply dismissed as Nazi. Poor guy died of syphilis, that’s got to be worth something.
TL;DR
How is dying of syphilis worth something?
Nietzche was a long-winded, self-righteous a$$hole.
I agree Pedant. Nietzsche got a bum rap on the antisemitism charge. His sister was totally antisemitic though.
So you’re saying that someone who wrote, “Whatever else has been done to damage the powerful and great of this earth seems trivial compared with what the Jews have done, that priestly people who succeeded in avenging themselves on their enemies and oppressors by radically inverting all their values, that is, by an act of the most spiritual vengeance” is not and anti-Semite?
You must have a very different definition of the term than I do.
Tsk.
*removes superfluous ‘d’ and *ker-splorrtches* in the bukkit*
Pitooey!
I think we should all just recognize that Jubbly made a pretty good pun.
Regardless of Nietzsche’s view of the Jewish people, it is well known that
Hitler was influenced heavily by his works.
I would like to commend Jubbly on his very clever joke.
I agree. It was quite clever.
actually most of his comments were taken completely out of their context and pasted together by his nazi sister who wanted to impress the nazi’s. don’t talk about shit you don’t know anything about. Nietzsche also said the Jews are a very strong people.
Nietzsche’s sister added a lot of anti-Semitic crap to his writings, as she controlled much of his work immediately after his death. It is well known that she edited portions of it to misrepresent him as more racist/nationalist than he actually was. See http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Philosophy_of_Friedrich_Nietzsche#Nietzsche.27s_criticisms_of_anti-Semitism_and_nationalism
You seem to assume that Nietzsche thought that the “powerful and great” were good, respectable people.
Firstly, Nietzshe uses the terms ‘oppressors’ for the ‘powerful and great’- definately not a word with positive connotations. Also the word ‘vengence’ does suggest that something equally bad has been done to them.
Secondly, in my experience, society is like a melting pot- all the scum scrambles to the top (usually by climing a pile of corpses). Just because you’re powerful and great doesn’t mean that you’re good or moral- look at many of the popes (i.e. Pope John XII) and, indeed, Hitler himself*.
So, personally, I think that if the Jewish people have gained their vengence by damaging the powerful and great, good on them. It is the duty of all ‘priestly people’ to undermine the corrupt and greedy despots by “inverting their principles”: charity is an inversion of greed, kindness is an inversion of heartlessness and acceptance is an inversion of prejudice. Therefore, it is possible to invert someone else’s principles by simply being kind, charitable and accepting- three adjectives which suit many of the Jewish people I know.
I’m not saying this was what Nietzsche meant but it is another plausable interpretation of these words.
*Great is not necessarily a synonym for good: one may have great intellect, ambition and charisma and be totally evil.
People avenging themselves on their oppressors is generally considered a good thing, and Nietzsche was not too fond of the powerful and great of the earth.
The quote is essentially saying, in quite a tongue-in-cheek way, despite adversity the Jews kicked a fair bit of tail.
The Forbidden Zone IS a damn fine film! Of that there is no doubt!
“Pico and Sepulveda, Pico and Sepulveda, Pico and Sepulveda!!!”
They got the coloring right, too.
XDDDDDDDD
SHITLER
Handkerchief perfume, smells like chloroform.
With maybe a hint of Zyklon B
Avoid using in the shower.
Eau De Third Reich!
Zyklon B didn’t smell. Zyklon was a pesticide made by I.G. Farben. The “B” version had the safety odor removed.
I think that when it’s used to kill a few million, it stops being a pesticide and starts being a chemical weapon.
Saddam was just using the nerve gas to get rid of the Kurds’ mosquito problem!
Way to contradict yourself.
Actually, the “B” part came from the fact it was made from hydrogen cyanide (prussic acid, Blausäure in German, hence B).
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zyklon_B
smells like eevail
wtf, how they can’t know hitler. @____@
fail…
You American idiots! You know who Hitler was? I bet you dont have an idea!!!
Долбоеб, иди догнивай в свою страну третьего мира.
COMMUNICATION FAIL
USAGE OF GOOGLE TRANSLATOR FAIL
Google translate (Detect language->English):
“Dolboeb go dognivay in their country of third world”
GOOGLE TRANSLATION FAIL
DAMN IT I FAIL
See if Babelfish fails
Babelfish fails in the same way as Google.
DOUBLE FAIL
Wikipedia says Dolboeb = Idiot
Where?
Search Долбоеб on Google.
Cool!
WORD FOR THE DAY WIN
And dogniway means something like “rot”.
lol freaks.
all of you FAIL
the first guy nickname is “pizda” wich is a word in russian thats why the 2nd responded in russian
Yes i also know someone called hitler he isnt that bad. but he sells a terrible parfume…
Who exactly are you talking to? The makers of this perfume (who are Indian and knew exactly who Hitler was)? or the people commenting here (who are from all over the world and also know exactly who Hitler was)?
Don’t bother Fluffy, his name is self explanatory.
*Takes key board away from Dick Cheney*
Sorry about that old boy, back to the private sector for you.
Hee!
Everybody knows who Hilter was. He did those silent movies and wore a bowler cap. He did that one movie with Uncle Fester, I think it was called ‘The Kid’.
No Hitler was that guy who ran that hotel and did those silly walks.
*inserts comma after No*
Removes the comma and eats it. It’s now a colon ;D
Not yet. So far it’s only as far as your duodenum, which makes it a semicolon at best.
Wasn´t he that painter/artist from Austria?
He could paint an entire apartment in one afternoon.
Two coats.
Now, lets all do the Guten Tag Hop Clop!
No, no! He was in that movie – what was the name? Oh, yeah — Hitler on the Roof.
If I was a Reich man…
haha, brilliant.
Click my name for a painted Hitler-church!
Are you sure that´s not a fake? Normally he was drawing very precise and correct.
No idea, just googled and that was the first link.
This was probably before he got into that art school… Oh… Wait…! Damn…
Pidza fail.
A charismatic guy promising a return to greatness, socialism, and change? No, we Americans have no idea about anyone like THAT.
Are you not afraid of being charged with practicing proctology on yourself? What with your head shoved so far up there and all.
Tête offensive.
This is a reply WIN!!!
Oh Coyote, I may have to steal this to use on some people I know!
I second that WIN!!! designation.
You’re right. And that vague description doesn’t encapsulate about 4,000 personalities throughout history who weren’t despots or mass murderers, either.
Mmmmmmm…..smells like suicide!
Did he just go there?! He went there!
See, I was thinking “smells like a charred body!” But I couldn’t descide if that’d be taken as a concentration camp thing, there for tasteless… or if it’d be seen as a reffrence to the fact that Hitler’s remains were seared after he killed himself….
I don’t know, smells like South America to me.
I am Brazilian and I don´t appreciate your comment.
I don´t appreciate such stupid idea like that.
Ow, ow! My eyes are burning from the grammar and spelling FAILs in that post! *Shields eyes*
Psst…Em…
What did you do with the monies?
BOB! I – I mean, I gave them to Bob. *Bows down on floor and pleads for mercy* PLEASE, SPARE ME!
Are you sure that it was from the fail and not just from getting Hitler in your eyes?
oh noes! joo caut meh… iz reely wif teh lolcats. sent ear to enfiltr8 teh udder capsun thingys!!!!
phear meh spellins an grammerianic
PHEAR!!!
Notice the gun sight thing over the word “Hitler”. This is why Anpu doesn’t want people procrastinating until they’re 64 years too late.
prbly gas, not perfume
not to be used if your jewisch
A little Googling shows that this is a real perfume made by an Indian company in Bangalore, but it has gone bust.
I wonder why?
can’t possibly imagine a reason :/
No, it’s not clear to me either.
I assume it doesn’t smell very nice. *Shrugs*
*Birthday Squeeze*
*squeezes the Moomin* What number birthday is this for hammy?
Sweet 16.
Obviously it was not popular because the bottle looks like a piece of plastic plumbing pipe. Duh.
AHAHAHA i can’t believe this is here – i found one of these bottles in the apartment i rented in bangalore 4 years ago – i have a picture of it, too. hitler handkerchief perfume. i shared the apartment with a bunch of germans and we were all horrified. then we got really drunk and chased each other around with it and it was hilarious. true story!
Dropping a handkerchief has become a lost art.
CHANEL N°88
I love the handy grenade-looking container. Who’s gonna mess with a man dabbing his handkerchief with a grenade that says hitler across it?
Hitler himself would
He’s a real ladies man.
He sure was
Am I alone in thinking it looks like a dildo?
Probably.
Nope. And black at that. mmm
*admits*
Looks like a WWII Steilhand Stick Grenade
FIRE IN THE HOLE!
…LOL.
mmmm……smells like Zyklon b……
But it has no scent…
I love the smell of Hitler at night.
Adolf Hitler (20 April 1889 – 30 April 1945) was an Austrian-born German politician and the leader of the National Socialist German Workers Party (German: Nationalsozialistische Deutsche Arbeiterpartei, abbreviated NSDAP), also called the Nazi Party. He was the ruler of Germany from 1933 to 1945, serving as Chancellor from 1933 to 1945 and as head of state (Führer und Reichskanzler) from 1934 to 1945.
Captain Obvious strikes again.
now where did Admiral Apparent go?
He’s in wikipedia, editing the “Hitler” articles.
He’s probably with Diplomat Demagogue checking Galileo’s findings.
…And he enjoyed heavy S+M and being fisted. But thanx for the info, cuz none of us knew that.
Common Knowledge Fail.
One piece of not-that-common-Hitler-knowledge is that Hitler only had one testicle!
True: It was shot off because it became gangrenous. He was nicknamed by his fellow soldiers “the screamer”.
Hee! But now I realize I need the bukkit — Someone below me already mentioned his monotonous testicle.
The Bukkit is for repeating facts? Wow, I didn’t know that.
*passes bukkit*
Oh, and the bukkit is supposed to be full of the person with the bukkit’s most hated things. I had to do it once.
Hmm, so you pay attention to whoever has or has not had the bukkit? Interesting. I’ve actually been here a while — The computer had technical difficulties, and I was cut off some time in November. But I digress.
*KERSPLORTCH!*
Ew. Mayonnaise (spelling?) and broccoli-flavored pudding isn’t very tasty at all.
Oh, and I believe one reason for needing the bukkit is for stating the obvious, already known, and such needless things.
It was since November? Seems like less time than that.
Nope, it was the end of November. I remember, because one of the last posts I read was through both failblog and your blog, about doubling up on the Thanksgiving cooking. Then the computer went KAPLOOEY!
(To the tune of Col. Bogey’s March):
Hitler only has one ball
Goering has two but they are small
Himmler, he’s got similar,
But poor Goebbels has no balls at all!
This is all new to you, isn’t it.
Wikipedia fail!!!
Another A.H. from wikipedia:
Adolf Lu Hitler R. Marak is a politician in the state of Meghalaya, India.
A member of the Nationalist Congress Party, he was forest and environment minister in the government of E.K. Mawlong and then cooperation minister under F.A. Khonglam.
He lost his seat in the state assembly in the February 2003 elections.
On June 27, 2003, he was arrested on charges of maintaining links with the banned militant group Achik National Volunteers’ Council [1]. He was released on bail about a month later.
The following year he lost the Garo Hills District Council election for the Dengnakpara G.D.C. constituency to Roster Sangma of the Congress.[1]
He lost the 2008 legislative election by just over 300 votes in a close fought battle with Zenith M. Sangma by finishing in 2nd place. [2]
Doesn’t fail as hard as the Troll Warz ad next to it…. yes, lets play a browser game that you pretend to troll fake message boards on fake interwebs. As opposed to, y’know, the one you’re already on.
Also, shitwaffles.
Shitwaffles with a side of peeyrup.
In a nice big bowel.
46th!
Hammykins, since it’s your birthday, you can taze this troll.
HOORAY!
*breaks out the shiny new tazer*
*TAAAZZZZE*
Works like a charm!
Thanks, BondFan!
Happy birthday Hammykins!
Now blow out the candles.. no waitaminute, that’s his burning eye sockets!
Happy birthday Hammykins and many more. (I just wish a happy birthday to someone named Hammykins? What a weird world failblog is.)
wished, w-i-s-h-e-d, wished
Much appreciated.
White supremacist’s choice.
Side effects: Blue eyes, blond hair
Other Side effects: Goose – stepping, gathering at mass rallies, right arm always diagonally upwards, tendancy to wear armband.
Common side-effects include possible doughy-ness of the head and neck area, thinning of the hair on right side of the head, incapability to grow a full moustache, and erectile disfunction. Please consult your doctor to see if Hitler is right for you. It should not be taken if you are pregnant, may become pregnant, if you have heart or liver problems, or if you are Jewish.
Single woman looking for fun times and talk. I’m up for anything.
Are you up for midget fun?
If she has kids I know of a certain dead father she might like.
Even a man smelling like Adolf? You naughty thing!
What about a midget who smells like Hitler?
“GET IN MAH’ BELLY!”
Has anyone ever had a bit of Hitler sprayed on them before?
I think the bigger fail is that some actually bought this, more so than the fact that it actually exists.
“Mmmm…Honey you smell so good…I want you to annex my territories!”
You Panzer you!
ACHTUNG!
HoooooGAN!
NEIN: DAS IST NICHT!
SIE HABEN NICHT
darn both sentences are a little incorrect^^ the first one says “No: this is not” (making any sense), and the second just says “they don’t have”…
Hitler for ever. Hitler opened our eyes and guided us to peace and equality of all races and nations. He also loved Jews. Preferably stewed.
Mmmm… This stewed jew is Jew-cy!
Nice
Jew-tastic!
I tried posting this once before, but it got killed by the Blogmonster, so I’ll try again.
I find this post by you, JasonK, incredibly offensive. While I’m certain that *you* don’t see it as any different from Ryannon’s comment yesterday, it most certainly is. Unlike Ryannon’s comment, which was meant as a joke and would not offend the average person, and unlike the other comments on this FAIL, which are lighthearted and meant to be amusing, your comment, while “sarcastic” and “ironic”, is both unfunny and designed to offend. Well, good job, because I am offended. I am Jewish, and I find your attempt at making a point about offensive humor misses the mark entirely. Go screw yourself.
Replaces period with question mark.
Oh Cuddlefish, you missed the shit JasonK stirred yesterday. Someone posted something he thought was insensitive, and the little shithead made a huge deal out of it, even tho he’s usually a troll-like creature who likes to curse us in Greek when he thinks we’re not looking. Now he posted this crap and thinks it will go unnoticed.
I think he knows it will be noticed. I think he wanted it to be noticed. All this time and energy spent over him. Poor thing, high school must have been hell for him.
Or it will be, when he gets there…
It was a toss up, is he pre-adolescent? Or is he just a great big dork? If he’s not yet in high school, there’s hope for him. My guess is he’s an overwieght, balding dork who lives in a fantasy world were he is revered.
By his mushroom-eating dog and his mother, who runs the Bates Motel.
Well, that would be the real world. In his fantasy world, the general public lauds and hono(u)rs him.
Seriously, I think he is a relative of mine. If he is, oh dear lord, is he ever a dork!
This is killing me, Avis.. are you in touch with that relative of yours? Will you send him a message and ask him if he knows Failoblog? I’m dying to know if it’s him.
All of that, plus he’s still got those ‘daddy issues’…poor rabbit
He bit hard…just like he’d been taught.
What offended me was mostly the hypocrisy. I’m not really hypersensitive – as I pointed out, most of the comments on this fail are funny – I just get really irritated by people who go off on massive rants about how devastated they are by jokes that inadvertently touch nerves that no one could know about and then try to prove something by making snarky Hitler “jokes”. Thanks for understanding, guys [well, most of you].
Also – seriously? You’re judging me for my username?
nope
That made me laugh out loud.
This clicky made me laugh out loud.
.
No pics, fine for work.
Hypersensitivity WIN!
You see, I don’t find that as hypersensitive. Like Di said — What Ry said yesterday, or the day before, or whenever it happened, was a lighthearted joke that would offend only very few people. Now, basically in a type of rebuttle, Jason makes a remark highly offensive to lots of people, and he probably knew that would happen. Jason seems to be in the type of mode where he gets a tiny scrape, cries bloody murder, and then rips off another person’s scab in revenge. It’s almost like he’s saying, “Oh yeah? OH YEAH? Well, how does THIS *rips off Di’s scab* feel?!?! Huh?!?”
*Silently replaces “rebuttle” with “rebuttal,” hoping that nobody will notice him and drag him into the argument*
*blinkblink* Please don’t rip off my scabs. *whimper*
No, seriously, thanks Em. I appreciate it.
You know, you are a highly unpleasant individual, Rob.
Uh-huh. Guess it’s time to stop driving this nonsense, then. You see, this only ends up in insults towards each other, whether that’s in Greek or not. So, on behalf of all, let me first apologize for all my wrongdoings in here in the past few days, and then you can carry on hitting on me.
To begin with something, this very comment was not orientated to offend any Jews, and if it did so to you, then I am sincerely sorry. Though, as I keep the back of my head alert since the events of the past two days, when irony and hypocrisy would give and take, I cannot really say if you are of the Jew race or not. Should it be the latter one, and your comment would be even more offensive towards real jews who were really offended. So I hope you speak the truth in here. That’s all I have to say to you, and thanks for warning me so next time I’ll be sure to cut short on racial comments.
Now, the purpose of this and so many other comments of me. Some in here called me a hypocrite. Some called me oversensitive. Some called me a big dork, a bald fat guy and some made remarks about my father being a pedophile. The list goes on and on and would go on forever if I kept replying with a “$&*%^@ you” in Greek, which I never did -I only called one dum in Greek, and that was Ryannon. Let me politely answer to a few of them: I am rather ashamed to speak so, but the only ‘hypocrite’ part of me was when I turned against Ryannon and produced a paragraph full of emotional distress and disharmony, leading to the extention of the conflict. None of these were actually true. I was curious to see what kind of flaming would follow. Neither was I offended in the least by Ryannon’s simple reply. If I really did so, wouldn’t I have commited suicide by know, with all of you guys hammering me? Yes, now you have all the reasons to bust in and start cussing about me and my family, about my theoritical fat ass and so on and so forth. And I would be grateful if you did that and meant every word of it.
To properly introduce myself, I am a boy in High School that is sporty, has a good looking body (or so I hope), goes to exercise often and is a very good student -as papers say. Oh, and I also have hair. So I guess I am not that bald fat guy you speak of. Nor is High School hell for me. It is just kind of boring. Hence why I come in here, the one place I can get a laugh by looking really stupid and posting idiotic comments on purpose. You can imply that I am lying, but for once I am speaking the truth. That’s up to you to decide to believe me or not.
I can say that I am pretty much a boy with a stable mind. I don’t think I am sensitive, I just like to play around. Yes, I know I am a shithead. An asshole. At least I’ll be knowing I have gained some recognition, whether that is bad or good. So for once I’ll be a man and take back whatever I said that offended anybody, and just leave out your complaints towards me.
I express out a big sorry to all that became upset with me. A name or two I can pick out because I remember is Ry, fluffy, Avis and Mookie. These were the ones that made fun of me the most, and I will be surprised if they don’t quote this with another nasty towards me comment. Then again, I can’t but apologize to them one more time for making them reply so. If they were not bothered, they wouldn’t give a damn flaming me. But whatever anyone says from now on, I won’t be around to see it. See, now that I have shown my real self it wouldn’t be the same coming back here to share the joy of the silly human failures. So this can also be marked as the last post of mine, as I am leaving this place for a month to clean out my mind a bit, because lately I’ve been tense. You surely won’t miss me. But I’ll say good-bye even to the walls, after all. Happy to be here and be the flame-target of oh so, so many.
Sincerely and with the most truthful apologies,
JasonK. (I suck at letters)
This drivel goes beyond anything that even remotely can be considered humorous. Have you ever met a concentration camp survivor? Have you ever seen the tattoo that was stabbed into a child’s arm? Have you ever looked into their eyes? I have. You have just made to my personal permanent excrement list. Congratulations. Well done.
…made it to… This is not my night for timely proofreading.
Uh oh. It must be catching. Sorry…I think you got it from me.
*offers cookie*
i susspect tht teh candition iz congenitals own miy p art, butt Ill except hem ay wayss.
Well done. 2 good fails today. Making up for yesterday’s weak fails.
Your approval has been noted, scratched out, wadded up, soaked in gasoline, burnt, and scattered on the floor of the troll cage. Thanks so much for your input.
Don’t forget it’s also been trodden on, stamped on, spat on and chewed on.
It was also signed in triplicate, sent in, sent back, queried, lost, found, subjected to public enquiry, lost again, and finally buried in soft peat for three months and recycled as firelighters.
We made a carbon copy and then threw away the originals. Then, we threw away the carbon copy.
We also destroyed it in a controlled explosion, fed it to the sharks, lions, hippos and the trolls and made another tazer out of it.
Spoiler Alert : Not finding everything posted on Fail Blog absolutely hilarious doesn’t automatically make somebody a troll
Nobody ever actually called him a troll.
Spoiler Alert: Anomnomnomymous didn’t really read the comments.
Spoiler Alert: shit.
Spoiler Alert: Anomnomnomymous reduced to commenting in monosyllables.
NO U
Spoiler Alert: Blog linked to by Anomnomnomymous’s username is not funny.
Spoiler Alert Update: Anomnomnomymous reduced to commenting in TXT speak.
Duuus
Not as funny as YOUR FACE! Hahah, ahah, ah…. brb, suicide
I accidently the whole spoiler alert. What should I do?
See the vicar.
…and then submit your report to us. We will…um…”file” it along with the others.
I think you are lying, I think what you are really going to do is destroy it!
Luckily I seen this coming, so when you try and burn it, expect my writings to be impervious to your flames! You’ll never figure out you have to remove the retardant foam first! What a genius I am….
Very little in this world is impervious to Dragon’s FOOMs.
The recycling truck is here to empty the file cabinet.
Shouldn’t that be “Soiler Alert”? >.<
But where the goddamn cover sheets? Do it again!
Yeah… Did you get that memo?
Thanks for your input; don’t forget your free towel
may it “staufenberg” merchandise? cuase the crosshair… xD and the other one is a stielgranate xD
Looks somewhat like a WWII Steilhand Stick grenade…
*Drops ice cream cone and runs*
Ahh…scent of Nazi! Buy 10 containers and get a free Hitler mustache! Buy 25 and get a bonus life-size Swastika flag!!! Buy 100 and get a life-size Hitler android who acts just like the leader of the Nazis, Adolf Hitler himself, absolutely FREEEEEE!!! Okay, I’ll stop now.
I want Hitler Moustache! gimme gimme gimme!
I’ll go one step farther, shall I?
Buy 200 and get your very own gas chamber! (Jew not included; also, I’m probably going to hell for this, but I’ll see most of you there, anyway.)
But that’s not all folks! Buy 1000 and you’ll get your very own Panzer Tank Division!
Wait, there’s more! Buy 3000, and you’ll receive Sudetenland free, courtesy of Neville Chamberlain.
Now I’m sure my 4000 will get me Poland for free. Let’s march!
Okay, I’ll up the ante…buy every single can in the world(that’s about 11,967,342 cans of Hitler perfume) and get a free time alteration machine, preset to change the history of WWII so that the Nazis win, build a worldwide empire, and somehow create futuristic medical technology that would make Adolf Hitler immortal and still have him ruling his own party with an iron fist(and outstretched hand at a 45 degree angle), so that you, too, can say “Heil Hitler!” and perform the legendary Nazi salute without being heckled!
I believe this fragrance is made by the famous parfumeur, Elvira Heydausteer, granddaughter Marlene Haytschtir, childhood friend and member of the Court of Charlotte, Grand Duchess of Luxembourg. Some obscure historical resources recount that Marlene and Charlotte attended boarding school together. During a summer visit, Charlotte met Marlene’s cousin Paula Hitler. Often, when the three girls wandered around the garden, they would have to look after Paula’s scrawny, sickly brother, Adolf. As the Duchess had a soft heart for wounded animals, as well as some self-esteem issues, she became infatuated with young Adolf. Their puppy love was tested after Adolf decapitated a real puppy, wrapped it in a handkerchief, and presented it to Charlotte as a gesture of everlasting devotion and sacrifice. Torn between a her love for hurt puppies and her attraction to sick puppies, Charlotte eventually broke ties with Adolf. Despite his millions of gestured attempts in the 1930′s and 1940′s to win back her love, she could not forget how cruel he was to that puppy.
During an interview for NEWSS Magazine, Elvira revealed that this love story inspired the creation of her newest fragrance, hence its distinct “puppy” smell.
That was neither funny nor true.
The fragrance was made by an Indian company in Bangalore, as I explained earlier.
Oh, yeah, sorry. Wrong Hitler. Damn that Wikipedia. But wikipedia does say that, loosely translated, Bangalore means Bond Fan Assphuch.
I have actually not used Wikipedia. I tend not to trust that source.
Actually, Wikipedia is apparently pretty trust-worthy. My sister took a computer-science course in college, and they have hundreds of technicians monitering the site, and they update any trolling re-vamps within a few minutes. Ever since I found that out, Wikipedia has been my God.
I admit, I too do trust Wikipedia to an extent. It is quite helpful sometimes.
LOL! Love it!
The name says it all.
ding ding ding…tell him what he’s won, Bob!
Tl;dr.
Hitler hated perfume. Ironic.
he had one testicle, now thats manhood fail
OBSCURE FACT WIN
Caps Lock: PREPARE FOR THE AWESOME!!!11!
He may have had only one attached to his body, but he had a collection of over 6,000,000 of them stashed in his private collection labeled, “Überschuss Hoden (im Falle ich verliere meine andere). Which means “Surplus testicles (in case I lose my other one).” He should have harvested penises instead, in case he got his head cut off.
That’s too much info right there
My pic looks similar to a swastika. Fail?
I’m not judging that, but ’twas funny!
rainy day in LA
Unleash the Fuhrer in you.
Can’t find the perfect perfume? Here is the Final Solution.
Damn you! That one came to me in the night and I got up and came here to say it and YOU ALREADY SAID IT.
No. I find it too racist to use perfume.
That was so wrong, yet so Reich.
Slogan win. big time.
KEYBOARD FAIL
It’s Führer…
Also try our new Zeppelin brand balloons.
“When you go out, go out with a bang!”
SLOGAN WIN
I love the smell of genocide in the morning.
My dog has no nose.
Lucky him
How does it smell?
Awful!
*does silly walk*
All roads lead to Python.
My parrot! It’s dead!
Well I had to shoot him didn’t I? I mean he was attacking me with a raspberry.
Now where is my Hungarian phrasebook?
Comments don’t nest in trees!
And now, it’s the Upperclass Twit of the year contest!
Yay!
*Clap*
Your majesty is like a dose of clap.
Yay again!
*claps again*
And there was much rejoicing.
My hovercraft ees full of eels!
Wow, this is just like that episode where they fast-forwarded the entire show at the end.
Oh yeah!
Anyway, Albatross! Want an Albatross?
I want one! gemme gemme gemme!
Here you go.
Wink 
, say no more!
And remember, Nudge Nudge, Wink
*enters cheese shop*
I’m a lumberjack and I’m okay…
“Raaaackkk! Polly want a coffin!”
A vampire parrot?
Last words before BondFan4518′s parrot dropped dead
That’s one well prepared parrot.
It’s just resting.
Sounds blue
All roads lead to python, is this Cleese’ law or something?
Can’t imagine a snoutless dog
Sniff Hitler perfume and you’re there my friend.
Id be snoutless if i did that
And the last thing you want is a snoutless id. It’s worse than having a snoutless ego!
if you aren’t using this cologne you need to get with the pogrom
Im down with that! Bring back the lynching!
Whats wrong with it? I like this perfume.
Such a nice gaz smell.
How much for a case?
fail for commenters. hitler means steel.
In an Indian dialect? If so, my sources are correct.
Thanks for that. I knew it meant something but I could not find out what.
Is it just me or does it smell like Hitler in here..?
pasty white in life, after burning up in a firey suicide, hitler’s skin was for-eva braun
*golf clap* Very clever!
Hitler: ribbed for extra pleasure
Best thing since sliced bread!
I bet its flammable!
“Fred A. Leuchter is America’s leading specialist on the design and fabrication of execution equipment, including homicidal gas chambers. In 1988, Leuchter scraped samples from the alleged gas chamber walls in Auschwitz, Birkenau and Lublin. Cyanide residue would be clearly evident on all these walls if gassings did occur. To his astonishment, Leuchter found no significant cyanide traces in any one of these rooms.
In 1991, the Polish government repeated these tests to disprove Leuchter’s findings, but they as well found no evidence of any gassings ever occurring. ” The Holocaust never happened it was all your imagination.
Failblog ate my comment, one more try with less insults.
You are wrong. The Holocaust (or Shoah) was real. Those six million Jews (plus many others) who were missing after the war didn’t go on a vacation. They were murdered in various ways, about half of them in gas chambers. If you are interested in the truth, read Saul Friedländer: Nazi Germany and the Jews, or Christopher Browning: Ordinary men, just to name two books.
Furthermore, the Nazi theory of how the world works and what therefore has to be done is absolutely clear. Real Nazis HAVE to try to kill all the Jews, or else they’re not really Nazis. Kinda like real communists HAVE to socialize factories etc., or else they’re not really communists.
I am a german and studied history at the university. I am outraged whenever I hear or read Holocaust denials. That is inacceptable, disgusting and at the same time incredibly stupid. So much proof to ignore – how can you? You should be ashamed of yourself.
Stop eating my comments, Failblogmonster!!!
You are wrong. The Holocaust (or Shoah) was real. Those six million Jews (plus many others) who were missing after the war didn’t go on a vacation. They were murdered in various ways, about half of them in gas chambers. If you are interested in the truth, read Saul Friedländer: Nazi Germany and the Jews, or Christopher Browning: Ordinary men, just to name two books.
Furthermore, the Nazi theory of how the world works and what therefore has to be done is absolutely clear. Real Nazis HAVE to try to kill all the Jews, or else they’re not really Nazis. Kinda like real communists HAVE to socialize factories etc., or else they’re not really communists.
I am a german and studied history at the university. I am outraged whenever I hear or read Holocaust denials. That is inacceptable, disgusting and at the same time incredibly stupid. So much proof to ignore – how can you? You should be ashamed of yourself.
If you’re reading this comment over and over again, sorry. Blogmonster doesn’t stop eating them…
You are wrong. The Holocaust (or Shoah) was real. Those six million Jews (plus many others) who were missing after the war didn’t go on a vacation. They were murdered in various ways, about half of them in gas chambers. If you are interested in the truth, read Saul Friedländer: Nazi Germany and the Jews, or Christopher Browning: Ordinary men, just to name two books.
Furthermore, the Nazi theory of how the world works and what therefore has to be done is absolutely clear. Real Nazis HAVE to try to kill all the Jews, or else they’re not really Nazis. Kinda like real communists HAVE to socialize factories etc., or else they’re not really communists.
I am a german and studied history at the university. I am outraged whenever I hear or read Holocaust denials. That is inacceptable, disgusting and at the same time incredibly stupid. So much proof to ignore – how can you? You should be ashamed of yourself.
be ashamed, you stupid moron.
OK, much much earlier in this thread people were getting confused about Godwin’s law, and the philanthropic side of me wanted to clear up the confusion (although the topic got changed a long time ago). So, the Wikipedian side of me looked it up on Wikipedia, and copied and pasted this:
“Godwin’s Law (also known as Godwin’s Rule of Nazi Analogies)[1] is an adage formulated by Mike Godwin in 1990. The law states: “As a Usenet discussion grows longer, the probability of a comparison involving Nazis or Hitler approaches one.”[2][3]
Godwin’s Law is often cited in online discussions as a deterrent against the use of arguments in the reductio ad Hitlerum form.
The rule does not make any statement about whether any particular reference or comparison to Adolf Hitler or the Nazis might be appropriate, but only asserts that one arising is increasingly probable. It is precisely because such a comparison or reference may sometimes be appropriate, Godwin has argued[4] that overuse of Nazi and Hitler comparisons should be avoided, because it robs the valid comparisons of their impact. Although in one of its early forms Godwin’s Law referred specifically to Usenet newsgroup discussions,[5] the law is now applied to any threaded online discussion: electronic mailing lists, message boards, chat rooms, and more recently blog comment threads and wiki talk pages.”
I have read the whole article, and the law does not state that the first person to mention Hitler/Nazis is a loser, nor does it state that once Hitler/Nazis get mentioned the thread ends.
HOORAY! <3
I actually read your entire comment, and I’d like to copy-paste something here from wiki:
There are many corollaries to Godwin’s law, some considered more canonical (by being adopted by Godwin himself) than others invented later. For example, there is a tradition in many newsgroups and other Internet discussion forums that once such a comparison is made, the thread is finished and whoever mentioned the Nazis has automatically “lost” whatever debate was in progress. This principle itself is frequently referred to as Godwin’s Law.
Does it come in shower gel?
Ick.
Ick? Are you kidding? Where’s the smut on this fail? Nice work Scoot, you’re keeping the end up.
Who said anything about smut?
Ick bin ein failblogger.
it’s a lovely perfume, for pederasses
I bet wearing Hitler is a gas
all the celebrities have their how fragrance line and now this guy? whos next? david hasslehoff????
Most likely to be made out of jews …
Sieg Heil Viktoria, then
FAIL
Why has no one mentioned Mr. Hilter?
I just hope it doesn’t have any jews in it.
Can also be used as hand-grenade or dildo, whatever suits your fancy.
Since I can’t reply to Slayer41 directly because the blogmonster always eats my comments and I can’t let him get away with his crap, I’ll try to comment here.
You are wrong. The Holocaust (or Shoah) was real. Those six million Jews (plus many others) who were missing after the war didn’t go on a vacation. They were murdered in various ways, about half of them in gas chambers. If you are interested in the truth, read Saul Friedländer: Nazi Germany and the Jews, or Christopher Browning: Ordinary men, just to name two books.
Furthermore, the Nazi theory of how the world works and what therefore has to be done is absolutely clear. Real Nazis HAVE to try to kill all the Jews, or else they’re not really Nazis. Kinda like real communists HAVE to socialize factories etc., or else they’re not really communists.
I am a german and studied history at the university. I am outraged whenever I hear or read Holocaust denials. That is inacceptable, disgusting and at the same time incredibly stupid. So much proof to ignore – how can you? You should be ashamed of yourself.
OMFG Where can I get some of this, I would love to have HITLER cologne
Wonder how hitler smells like…
dis perfum is da blood of hitler (?)
why would someone want to smell like hitler?
now i can smell like nazi all day long!
Is this from India
Yay! Now I can smell like a mass-murderer!
DOICHFAIL
theres no perfume in here!
just some weird gas…………..
does anyone else feel dizzy??????????
This kinda reminds me of the logo of “Tatort” (crime scene)
http://www.blockit.de/tatort.jpg (I think in some version of the opening animation they even had the text split like in the perfume logo)
which is the longest-running crime series (since 1970) in Germany, which makes me think this maybe could’ve been developed here, which makes me sick and ashamed.
NEVER FORGET!! the smell of hitler
Guys this was not a mistake, hitler made this perfume as a way to fuel the nazi war machine, and at the same time he put mind control substances in the perfume to make his people more loyal and fight for the machine.
*sniff sniff* Smells like a Nazi flavor XD…
Too many sick people worldwide…
Ian H?
as in ian hecox from smosh?!
Now with Zyklon B!
That was incredibly non-PC. Sorry.
This is the first perfume of the new creation: 3. Reich….
Next we will see göring aftershave, goebbels air-fresher, and so on and so far
i need it!!!! where can i buy!!!! rofl
I hate to be wet towel, but Hitler means “Wolf” in German. So while we Non-Germies can only think of the bristle mustached mad man when we see this, they just see a perfume called “Wolf”.
Wrong. Hitler means nothing in German. “Wolf” means wolf.
you FAIL.
looks like a dildo lawl xD
nazi fail, they stunk!