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» 324 Failures in Communication
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Cheezburger Network Blog
Look! A box of melamine.
[Intro]
Lalala lalala la la lala la Ohhh
You know… I never felt like this before
Lalala lalala la la lala la Ohhh
Feels like.. so real
[Verse 1]
I’m obsessive when just one thought of you comes up
And I’m aggressive just one thought of close enough
You got me stressing, incessantly pressing the issue
‘Cause every moment gone you know I miss you
I’m the question and you’re of course the answer
Just hold me close boy ’cause I’m your tiny dancer
You make me shaken up, never mistaken
But I can’t control myself, got me calling out for help
[Chorus:]
S.O.S. please someone help me.
It’s not healthy… for me to feel this way
Y.O.U. are making this hard,
I can’t take it, see it don’t feel right
S.O.S. please someone help me
It’s not healthy… for me to feel this way
Y.O.U. are making this hard
You got me tossin’ and turnin’ and can’t sleep at night
[Bridge:]
This time please someone come and rescue me
‘Cause you on my mind it’s got me losing it
I’m lost, you got me lookin’ for the rest of me
Love is testing me but still I’m losing it
This time please someone come and rescue me
‘Cause you on my mind, it’s got me losing it
I’m lost, you got me looking for the rest of me,
Got the best of me, so now I’m losing it
[Verse 2]
Just your presence and I second guess my sanity
Yes it’s a lesson, it’s unfair, you stole my vanity
My tummy’s up in knots so when I see you I get so hot
My common sense is out the door, can’t seem to find the lock
Take on me (uh huh) you know inside you feel it right
[CD version:] Take me on I’m put desire up in your arms tonight
[Video version:] Take me on, I could just die up in your arms tonight.
I’m out with you, you got me head over heels
Boy you keep me hanging on the way you make me feel
[Chorus:]
S.O.S. please someone help me.
It’s not healthy… for me to feel this way
Y.O.U. are making (Y.O.U.) this hard,
You got me tossin’ and turnin’ and can’t sleep at night
[Bridge:]
This time please someone come and rescue me
‘Cause you on my mind, it’s got me losing it (‘Cause you on my mind)
I’m lost, you got me lookin’ for the rest of me
Love is testing me but still I’m losing it
This time please someone come and rescue me (someone come and rescue me)
‘Cause you on my mind got me losing it
I’m lost, you got me looking for the rest of me,
Got the best of me, so now I’m losing it
Boy, you know you got me feeling open
And boy, your loves enough with words unspoken
I said boy I’m telling you, you got me open
I don’t know what to do it’s true
I’m going crazy over you,
I’m begging
[Chorus:]
S.O.S. please somebody help me.
It’s not healthy… for me to feel this way
Y.O.U. are making this hard (are you making this hard for me, baby?),
You got me tossin’ and turnin’ and can’t sleep at night
[Bridge:]
This time please someone come and rescue me (someone rescue me)
‘Cause you on my mind, it’s got me losing it
I’m lost, you got me lookin’ for the rest of me
Love is testing me but still I’m losing it
This time please someone come and rescue me
‘Cause you on my mind got me losing it (’cause any time)
I’m lost you, got me looking for the rest of me,
Got the best of me (best of me), I’m losing it
[Outro]
Lala lala lala lala Ohhh
Ohh ohh lala lala lala lala
Oh oh
That’s as maybe, but you’re still a troll.
I think he’s cool. I’d rather ‘hear’ ths songs he posts instead of a bunch of boring First comments.
I think he’s an attention whore who likes to take up the most space, and should have his Alt-V privileges revoked.
If he does it again I swear I’m gunna Alt-X him!
Maybe we can convince his parents to Ctrl-Z him.
Yeah, dang, I meant Ctrl-X… ugh I need more coffee
*roffle*
I meant Ctrl, too. Got an extra cup there?
Milk and sugar?
American Freedom? It’s fresh from the box!
I just figured you guys were confused Mac users. *offers coffee*
No no, just plain old confused.
Hee! Just milk, please.
Naw Di, confused Mac users use (command) instead of (control). I know because I am one – I think. It’s hard to tell, being confused and all.
Nope. They’re confused PC users. Us Mac users wouldn’t make that sort of mistake. *passes the cream, sugar, and Sweet ‘n Low(TM)’*
Anyway, I don’t know if anyone else noticed just what the box held: fireworks.
The Chinese have been making our fireworks for ages. The fact that they have a box labelled ‘American Freedom’ on a box of fireworks intended for sale in the US market, likely around the 4th of July, should surprise nobody, and should be considered a ‘win’, at least for the Chinese. If the US could make and sell fireworks of the same quality as the Chinese, chances are at least marginal that you’d see more of them around.
Yes, i agree.
-sexual innuendo here-
Staying consciousness fail!
I thought american freedom was made in Iraq…
Bush seemed to think so. Stoopid man.
I thought USA only exported freedom, but you never know, markets, economy, you know…
i see what you did there.
might i suggest that next time instead of typing all of that, you lean back, take a moment to soundly collect your thoughts and visualize your self actualization before blurting such outbursts?
good gracious, look at the time! (rape:45) i’d love to stay and discuss this further, but your mothers poor vagina needs ex foliating and I’ve just dipped my fists in a delectable combination of shredded 550 grade sandpaper and equal parts broken glass. i would also love to stick around and expound upon the terrible reality that must be yours and yours alone but other more rape-worthy events have been over scheduled into my day planner. you remember my day planner, don’t you slappy? the cool one i crafted out what’s left of your dead jew grandmothers skull and a trapper keeper i save from the 80’s. WOW the 80’s. that was a time wasn’t it? it’s hard to comfortably craft the destruction of your moms sweet sweet behind when that crazy and zany MTV is on. Golly! if you only knew the times that lazy-eyed methamphetamine addled, two dollar whore that spawned you got us gas money by taking it in the can from strangers at truck stops on the way down to Texarcana to score for your pappy. well, i’d love to stick around and verbally destroy your post further like a infant being pitched haphazardly into rush hour traffic, but there’s porn on these here internets, and i’m feeling saucy!…………hugs and kisses, Dasproteus
tl;ts;pc
tl;ts;pc?
too long; too stupid;
popcornpure crapProteus is one of our most lasting trolls. His posts are always like that.
While i appreciate the message, the abbreviation was entirely pointless.
It ended up taking more time than simply typing it out would have.
Bwhahahahah! Tell him what you really think!
This is actually the first time a FB comment sent shivers down my spine
. Please tell me this is from some novel.
Just a cheap paperback from the used bookstore.
FB?
Foul Butt.
Foot Ball, Flat Boobs, Funny Boys, Fart Bubbles, Fun BiscuitsFail Blog {maybe?}
Oh. Now several old comments make a lot more sense to me
I like fun biscuits.
I submit……Feral Badger.
You submit to the feral badger? That seems dangerous.
how do i get the strikethroughs?
just a test, i wonder if this will work…
Just send me .00025ยข in a plain brown email along with your checking acoount number and bank info and I’ll send you an answer following payday.
use “”
and use “”
“strike” and then “/strike”
with the arrow thingie brackets
like
this?Ah i see it
didn’tdid work! thanks!Badgers? We don’ got no badgers.
We don’ need no stinking badgers.
sorry. i was just waxing poetic. i am however a budding writer.
A teeny bit of advice…writer to writer?
Forget the wax. Waxing hurts.
Matter of opinion.
Like math at Verizon!
Is that an order?
Yes, to the people at Verizon. They must LIKE MATH! so that they can learn to be good at it. Or at least not totally-beyond-redemption stupid at it.
Wow. Someone has a worn out a**hole… and thesaurus.
tl dr
tl dr?
tit leaked, dripped rain
I’ll lick that up!
You’re a dog! You’ll lick anything up!
*side note: My daughter has this darling cocker spaniel who just loves to give her kisses. Yes, wet, sloppy doggy tongue kisses. One day, my grandson Chris came up to me and said, “You know, grandma, that dig eats its own poop.” I looked my daughter being all sloppy with the dog and laughed so hard, I nearly wet myself!
I could lick that up too.
*scooooooches away*
*blows on nipple in desperate attempt to re inflate*
Oh, great! Now I’m lopsided. Thatks for nothing!
^thanks
Shall I bring the bukkit?
Too late. Just watch your step over here.
haha you said tossin’
u definitely suck
u definetly suck
Had to post twice, didn’t you? >_>
There’s a lot of truth in that box.
But the cake was a lie…
You’re a lie
Uralie? no, Im wolfgang.
ORLY?
That owl is getting annoying!
Who?
Twit! :p
It is (was) a box full of American Flags!
Those iranians have to get their american flags from someone.
Yep.
Scary.
America FAIL
The Freedom has escaped! Who let it out the box?!?
The same guy who let the dogs out.
And the cats out the bag!
You’re barking up the wrong tree
Someone should deal with the elephant in the room.
Not to mention the skeletons in the closet.
Thatโs one whale of a story.
You must be the black sheep of the family.
How long do you think we can keep up this dog and pony show?
Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth, they are after all cheap labor.
I think we have some bats in the belfry.
Too late. The camel’s nose is under the tent.
While you can lead a horse to water.
but you can’t make it do the hand jive..
excuse my but..
One Swallow does not make a summer.
Curiosity killed the cat.
When the cat’s away the mouse will play.
A dolphin’s mouse is but a whale’s undoing.
It’s a dog eat dog world.
You can’t make a silk purse out of a sow’s ear.
Well, it has always been a dog each dog world out there.
The old gray mare ain’t what she used to be.
The early bird gets the worm.
You can’t make a silt perch out of a owl’s tear?
The Earl lee’s turd gets thee warm?
You can lead an ass to humor, but you cannot make him funny.
Theobald grammar ants… um, never mind.
You might jest be putting the cat before the hoarse!
Give a man a fish he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he can eat for a life time.
Or, more likely, he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
That’s put the cat amongst the pigeons.
(sorry Avis)
Monkey in the middle!
That’d be like letting the fox guard the hen house.
A bird in the hand is worth more than two in the bush.
I never saw a purple cow; I never hope to see one. But I can tell you anyhow, I’d rather see than be one.
Raining like a cow pissing on a flat rock.
It’s raining cats and dogs.
You sir, are
trite as rein, tripe as rain,right as reigns!“…you have made worm’s meat of me…”
Does a bear shit in the woods?
Do one legged ducks swim in circles?
How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
BEER IS FOOD!
This whole thread ain’t nothin more than lipstick on a pig anyhow.
I’ll comment on this thread when pigs fly
It’s a bird, it’s a plane, it’s…
If a frog had wings, he wouldn’t bump his ass when he hops.
Why did teh chicken cross the road?
To die in the name of science?
so long and thanks for all the fish!
Not to mention the voices… oh, those damn voices…
Try yelling back at them. Works for me.
Well aren’t you just the cock of the walk?
Well, aren’t you just the cork off the wall?
Well aren’t you just the crack in the pipe?
Well, aren’t you just the cock in the pope?
Aren’t you the potato in the vicar’s crack?
I’m sorry, I just could’nt help myself…
Certainly not Cheney…
that’s amazing.
You’re outsourcing freedom?
yea, and this is only part 4 of 1!
I wonder if the “buy american” rule applies to this.
Hey!!! They Haz my Box…. >.> they might find the planz for wurld domination <.<
Crap. Close as I will ever get to first
There’s no shame in dying a virgin.
Sarcasm hurts, you know that Mookie?
Only if you do it right.
Sarcasm is a gift. Those with this gift must share it. Sarcasm is beautiful!
When Mookie is done you will be bleeding out of at least one orifice.
An excellent point
that’s what she said..
The oval orifice?
Only if your lucky.
And if you aren’t lucky you’ll be bleeding out the Bejing.
Bless you!
I’ll get you a tissue.
Yours is oval?
only after Mookie gets through with it.
You know she uses stand-in doubles when she goes to get her hair done, right?
Only if you realize it as such
That is the entire objective of sarcasm, you know that wolfgangmunzerl2 ุ
Let’s not and say we did
Second!
lol timing fail
Did you really laugh outloud? Was this one of the most humouristic moments in your entire life? Are you pleased with your contribution? Do you even have any idea what I am talking about?
Yes and No?
Are you being indecisive?
Ja nee, he’s being quantum. accept it and move on.
Splunge!
*psssssth…*
Could I have a second opinion? Knowing what I think isn’t one of my strong suits. I mostly rely on other people’s beliefs to back up my own feelings as to whether something is good or funny or sad or pleasing. Which is this? Please let me know soon as I’ve interrupted a fairly productive snot blowing session here.
*psssssth snnnnixks ffssuuuuth…*
Die Box der verlorenden Boxen, wesswegen sich die Boxer schon immer geboxt haben.
Multiple spelling failures, not related, not funny. Fail.
Wow, that was deep man. You should make that into a play. Ein Spiel.
Ein Glockenspiel.
Sounds more like a tongue twister.
Is it a freedom fail or a american fail?
Neither, it’s a service economy win.
No wonder why the Chinese government is so oppressive, they exported all their freedom to America!
Freedom lives in that box? It’s kinda beat up….
Your mom also lives in that box. She look spretty beat up too.
Battered women are not funny. They are โฆ tasty?
Battered and deep fried to a crispy crunch. But, what to use as a dipping sauce?
The tears shed from her broken dreams?
Those who stand up for battered women will not be amused by this…
They will not be the buds of someone’s jokes, without battering an eyelid they will bare witless without further to do! When in the thongs of passion bear in mine that it will be a zero sun game. You will escape by a just hair’s breadth and fall by the weigh sigh and beacon the old wives tails for the future.
I always stand up for battered women and give them my seat.
I’m sure you have a good bedside manor.
*has donated many billable hours to local sexual assault resource center*
*didn’t think there was anything you could say that would make me adore you more*
*was wrong*
I can never decide between vinegar or tomato sauce with the hot chips.
lunchbox, bondfun, dragonwriter, mookie, ryannon, avis. such witt ywiity good lookn peeps with lives.I mean they must have lives, right?Well I don’t, just been looking for 2 hours at your “witty” *masturbating* comments. You guys really get off on yourselves don’t you.*win*, “win” for you guys, you absolute champions.
Sorry if I seem sarcastic, you guys really are the best.
*takes a chair and a beer*
*waits*
…passes Arthur the popcorn…
Thanks! Have a beer.
*passes bottle*
…sips beer… hums the “Rocky” theme… waits…
Quick: somebody go get Mookie & Ry before this one gets away
I’m waiting for the Bondfun. That sounds good.
Do we get to wear bowler hats?
I’m cutting up a tarp and putting in breathing holes – want one? Bowler hat would look good on top…
BFF will be here shortly. His tazer is on the charger.
Beer and popcorn? Hey, don’t forget me!
Is this public execution private or can anyone watch?
*passes beer*
It’s free for all, otherwise it wouldn’t work as a deterrent for other trolls.
I’m picturing the scene from the Pierce Brosnan version of The Thomas Crown Affair.
*seizes opportunity*
*opens vending cart*
POPCORN! BEER! CIGARS! WINE! CIGARETTES!
PROGRAMS! Get yer PROGRAMS!
Do you have hotdogs?
HOT DOGS! BURGERS! POPCORN!
ALBATROSS! ALLLLLLBATROSS!
Hot salty Peanuts! PEANUUUUUTS!!
PEEANUT!
*tosses a nut sack*
POTATO!
VIIICARS! Holy VIIIIICARS! Get ‘em while they’re hanging the CURTAIINS!
Get you fire retardant suits here. They also double as splash guards.
Saunters up to counter… lays down a 20.00…
please take your cock off of the counter sir.
Hey, that wasn’t MY cock!
Sorry it must be Mycok, let get it out of your way. Here are your goods and enjoy the show.
You fire retard!
You definitely are held back from the fire.
Sorry to disappoint, students. This is the pathetic, lonely troll. It likes to beat itself up by observing others having a good time. This particular specimen will endure two hours of merriment before it reaches its breaking point. It is best to leave it alone; it self-destructs.
AA! Clickie – I think you and Dragon will like this, if you aren’t already familiar with these terms. *is happy for kindred spirits*
*walks in, picking teeth with toothpick*
Ahhhhh. Nothing like freshly *FOOOOOOOOM!!!*ed, lonely, pathetic troll for breakfast. I used honey to mask the slightly bitter taste.
*grins at the Admiral*
There’s plenty left over, too.
And THANKS, Mookie! I’d never seen that term before.
Our housekeeper peppers her speech with these types of things… she keeps me in stitches…
Here’s a favorite – she suffers from “very close” veins.
In another’s words, she’s a treasure stove and font of wisdom? It is nice that you keep her gamefully employed.
Ah yes – matter of in fact, I rather like ec speech myself. Kinda literally keeps me in stitches, literally laughing my head off…
Caution:
You don’t want to become a Laughing Stalk do you?
Um. So you’re walking around without a head? Literally?
Somehow, that’s kind of awesome. Methinks we need to subject Nellie to some tests to find out whether or not they can die. Umm…for science.
You are not going to believe this…
*takes toothpick out of mouth*
*toothy grin!*
I look forward to stirring my honey.
.
Yes, thanks Mooks! I read the wiki before lunch, but only glanced at the database so far. We see collaborating evidence of this phenomenon here on FB.
*swoons over eye-crinkles*
Sounds like maybe hatha hath none…
You spent two hours reading our comments? I’m flattered. Did your lips move?
He had to sound the words out, Mookie. It was sad to watch, like What’s Eating Gilbert Grape sad.
I kinda liked how he sorta quivered randomly, myself.
ohh so that’s where it’s been hiding.
Found buried behind the Bush residence.
Next to those weapons of mass destruction.
No joke, in one of our papers WMD was the headline published for a picture of Sadam when they caught him in his jocks. It was appropriate.
My GAWD!, Everything is made in China now a days.
Even Gawd?
Yeah, us ‘Mericans outsourced Gawd to the Chinese as well. It was shortly before our VP introduced us to a new way to greet friends on hunting expeditions by shooting them in the face with a shotgun.
.
Hm, I guess we ain’t been none to bright lately. Maybe greeting friends by shooting them in the face with a shotgun isn’t such a great idea after all.
It’s funny because “American freedom” and “Made in China” contradict each other.
It’s funny because Funnyboi and Funny contradict each other.
It’s funny because Funnyboi posts every day on a blog he doesn’t seem to like.
Funnyboi is keeping it real.
Meh. I’ll take my unreal any day. It’s not as grey.
This is why I’m starting to shy away from interacting with people on the internet. It’s the whole “self righteous” and arrogant mindset, it’s sickening. I personally believe that this all started after kids who play World of Warcraft got bored and decided to corrode and destroy any sense of decency other people have or used to have.
I’m not saying that this blog isn’t funny but from my own experience the usage of the word “Fail” and it’s application to such things like this, a contridiction, is exactly what a kid who plays WoW would say or at least what it reminds me of. I can’t stand it. These are the exact same people who troll around behind their computer screens undermining people, making up for the lack of confidence they have in themselves when in reality they are only slightly more threatening than a wet paper towl.
This may or may not represent the psyche of this blog author but that’s the sort of impression I get.
Maybe WoW isn’t the game to blame here. Maybe it’s the result of the economy and the way it’s been eating itself alive, driving people to “get their kicks” by mindlessly and thoughtlessly insulting each other. Gah, see what happens when I see an internet fad that disgusts me?
Note: After skimming through the comments I can see that alot of what I’ve detailed in my drawn-out reply exists right here. Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
Aaah, shut up you twat!
I like your song lyric posts better.
No that’s someone else!
Oops! My bad! That’s my fault for trying to do 4 things at the same time. Carry on, then.
way to bum everyone out. this is why no one likes you.
Don’t you dare to “mindlessly and thoughtlessly” insult him! That’s his job!
Do you mind? dasproteus put a lot of thought into that.
Bare in mind now, it all bowls down to a mood point after all! In an other words dasproteus feels it disgusting to be the bud of another’s joke.
Or…maybe it’s just a bunch of people having fun. Call me crazy.
Ok. You’re crazy.
I knew I could count on you, Mikey
diana is insane
“Gah, see what happens when I see an internet fad that disgusts me?”
Indeed. You become that very thing that your revile. Way to go…I hope you’re proud.
*sigh*
*removes superfluous r from above post*
Who has the bukkit today? I need to *KER-SPLORRRRTCH!*
*fetchs bukkit*
*Hands Bukkit to jules and Dragonwriter*
Here, you both of you can use this at the same time! Its Quantum(TM)!
I’m proud of the fact he’s so despairing and disgusted by us he gives us a link to his blog. I think he wishes he was an internet fad.
I didn’t clickie.
I will, however, *SQUEEEEEEEZE the moomin!!!*
‘Cuz that’s the very best internet fad.
*turns cartwheels out of the thread*
I love it when she does that!
I think he wishes he wanted to be an internet fad – that’s slightly more pathetic, wishing to be a wanna be, don’t you think?
…hands him a fork…
Who’s got the Tazer today??
here’s a wooden spoon. now you get to gouge your eyes out the fun way.
I think you misspelled wet origami owl
see everything is made in china we need to stand togther and fight the power!!!
white power?
flower power?
Austin Powers?
Soft Power?
Power hour?
The glower of power!
Wind Power?
The power of orange knickers?
HOT SHOWER!
Power Rangers?
Orange Tang?
No, Yellow Thang.
My nuts are itchy.
Wash ‘em more often.
yah grab youre guns we’re going to china boys and girls
All these comments and its a picture of a cardboard box. A CARDBOARD BOX!
Yeah, but Snake is hiding in it.
(Hang on, how come no-one has said that yet?)
NO PLACE FOR HIDEO!
Hey! Where you been?
*squeeze*
Always behind you, always watching you.
You’re a moomin, not a potato.
That’s the funny part!
No, the funny part is your space rocket. You’re quackers.
This guy obviously doesn’t have a cat or a kid…that’s why he doesn’t know that the cardboard box is the BEST PART!!! Who CARES what was inside?….CARDBOARD BOX!!
It’s not a cardboard box, it’s a racing car.
NEEEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWM!
It’s not a cardboard box, it’s a space rocket!
QUACK QUACK QUACK!
It’s not a cardboard box, it’s my fortress of solitude!
Cricket, Cricket, Cricket
It’s not a cardboard box, it’s my weapons bunker!
duhduhduhduhduhduhduhduhduh!
fwoosh – boom!
It’s not a cardboard box, it’s the terminus for the elevator to China.
Ding. . .ground floor.
Freedom!
falcon, never interrupt box time!
isnt everyone made in china??
i saw an american flag ages go that said made in china
I don’t think everyONE is made in China… we still have baby factories in India, welfare housing, KKK compounds, Las Vegas brothels…..
Roll out the Red Carpets…. Here come the China Boys!
Many other people don’t get it either. American freedom is made anywhere blood is spilled. If you have people we can kill, we can make freedom there and China has lots of people!
this is also an improper fraction fail…
you know weยดre in trouble when china is giving the us freedom.
It’s better than them giving us the finger.
Chinese Democracy was made in Axl Rose’s meth lab
lol ITS A LOOK INTO DA FUTURE!! Why cant anyone post a comment actually related to the failure
1/0
*BLACKHOLE!!!!!!*
Shoop da whoop!
all I want to know is how can it be box 4 of 1 (“4/1″)?
Its a fireworks case. It contained 4, probably cakes (which are the boxes you set on the ground and light) and each one is one whole.
A case of say…..snappers would have said 8/50 which means 8 boxes in the case…each box holds 50 snappers.
I know it gets confusing. Some of them break down more than that.
Weve been running FW stands for about 5 years now.
definitely it’s win
o rly?
Freedom costs a buck o five.
If China called in their debts now, The American Economy would crumble in a week. Hence, the freedoms we enjoy…
With the state of the economy in America now and how China is helping to support it, I’m pretty sure that statement does have a certain ring of truth in it.
i don’t know either. And we’ll be seeing alot more of this crap in the future. 5 failure.
so? Canadian freedom is made in the U.K.
What you guys dont know is that is my house thank you
Wait…ain’t being American quite often involve getting paid for other people’s work? Thus making this a distinct un-fail?
we rely on china waaaaaaaay toooooooooo muuuuuuuuuch!
to โ and beyondโบโป
โบ โป
what dose china care about our freedom they can only keep one kid
COLL LD