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Cheezburger Network Blog
That’s my middle name!
And exactly how is it pronounced? Do you sound out each letter or is it more like Aspen but with an Eh sound instead of the Ah sound at the beginning?
Yep. But the best thing is that its unisex. Not u-and-i-sex…
Unibrow?
unicycle?
Unitard?
A whole universe of unitards riding unicycles whilst furrowing their unibrows??
A whole universe of unitards riding unicycles whilst furrowing their unibrows and fondling their units, singing in unison
A whole universe of unitards riding unicycles whilst furrowing their unibrows and fondling their units, singing in unison, and leading their pet unicorns to university.
A whole universe of unitards riding unicycles whilst furrowing their unibrows and fondling their units, singing in unison, and leading their pet unicorns while to university while all in uniform.
A whole universe of unitards riding unicycles whilst furrowing their unibrows and fondling their units, singing in unison, and leading their pet unicorns while to university while all in uniform while eating uni.
A whole universe of unitards riding unicycles whilst furrowing their unibrows and fondling their units, singing in unison, and leading their pet unicorns while to university while all in uniform while eating uni quite uniquely.
This thread put that annoying They Might Be Giants song spinning though my head. ALL. DAY. LONG.
Annoying??!!
*snortgiggle!*
Good thing I refreshed…that was going to my my EXACT response!
*smoooch*
Don’t get me wrong, I do like the song. Just not on an endless loop in my brain.
That whole CD gives me a warm fuzzy every time I listen to it.
*smooches and hugs!*
MMmmm…that’s nice. Smooches and hugs before I go stick my head in the bukkit.
*Ker-SPLORTCHHH!!!*
Hm. Now I need a shower.
*innocent look*
*gets lathered*
*gets wet*
There isn’t much body wash left, you’ll just have to use me.
I’ve heard that friction is a most excellent way to get clean.
We’re all slippery; we better hold each other more tightly.
*cinches around the curves*
Don’t miss that spot in the small of my back…no, that’s the little red lizard. A little to the right…
Oooooooohhhhh…
*grabs the honey chamomile shampoo*
*mixes shampoo into both hands with water splashing off our bodies*
*gazes into your eyes while distributing shampoo into your long red tresses*
*vigorously massages your scalp with your head leaning back slightly*
*lips part*
*breath quickens*
*loves the feel of the lather running down my body*
*starts with parted lips, kisses, kisses, kisses*
*secures lower lip in my lips, slowly tugs at that succulent fruit, pulling it away and letting it release itself reluctantly*
*nibbles at your neck, then follows the curving trail of rinsing lather down, down…*
*drowns in waves of sensuous pleasure*
*draws shower curtain*
A united universe of unique unitards riding unicycles whilst furrowing their unibrows and fondling their units, singing in unison about the unibomber, and leading their pet unicorns to university.
Several species of small furry animals gathered together in a cave and grooving with pict.
Ummagumma baby!
A whole universe of unitards riding unicycles whilst
furrowing their unibrows and fondling their units, singing
in unison, driving to Universal studios (Located in the
the United States), and leading their pet unicorns to university.
A whole universe of unitards riding unicycles whilst furrowing
their unibrows and fondling their units, singing in unison and
leading their pet unicorns to university for unisex coiffures.
A whole universe of unitards riding unicycles whilst
furrowing their unibrows and fondling their units, singing
in unison, and leading their pet unicorns to university of
unisex coiffures.
A whole universe of unitards riding unicycles whilst furrowing their unibrows and fondling their units, singing in unison, leading their pet unicorns to university, and unilaterally forging the unions of the northern coalition in a wholly unique way by signing documents with their uni-ball pens.
this would be funny if you weren’t using “unitard” as a derogatory term. “unitard” is actually a piece of clothing dancers wear.
I’m a Unicone!
A man named joe?
Is a leotard a demented lion?
A leopard can’t change its pox.
Of course not, they don’t have the medical technology.
They still use leeches to cure illnesses. Ignorant felines.
Idiocelots.
A whole universe of unitards riding unicycles whilst furrowing their unibrows and fondling their units, singing in unison, and leading their pet unicorns to university to unite in becoming eunichs.
Guys wear them to work out now.
actually i know the first boy named espn and it is pronounced like “aspen” except with an “eh”
My friend (a girl) has a cat named Espn… it can work!
And she pronounces it “es-pin” (rhymes with Aspen)
Espin and Aspen don’t rhyme!
In what language?
English. Aspen rhymes with gaspin’, and Espn rhymes with… bless pin.
Does donkey rhyme with monkey?
Does hippo rhyme with jell-o?
Ass-pen is the most unfortunate name.
My lovely beautiful friend is named Aspen. I think it’s pretty. ESPN, not so much.
According to the definition of rhyme: ” A word that corresponds with another in terminal sound,” yes they do.
Is this an East vs West Coast rap reference, raelalt? You know who wins that one.
Clearly lolspeak!
In English. For words to be perfect rhymes, the stressed syllable’s vowel and everything after it need to be the same. Since the stressed vowel in aspen is the a, aspen rhymes with maspen, taspen, gaspen, etc. Not espen.
wikipedia knows all: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rhyme#Types_of_rhyme
In English. In a perfect rhyme, the stressed vowel and all following sounds must be the same. Since the a is the stressed vowel in “aspen,” it would rhyme with (hypothetical) words like gaspen, raspen, caspen, etc. Not espen.
Understanding rhyme FAIL.
But no vouls! And Espn (ES-PIN) is a pretty name, but ESPN (EE-ESS-PEE-ENN) No.
Espn is a real first name a couple named their daughter that a few years ago in The USA for money and other stuff.
Therapy for the win.
Years and years…
Espen is a Scandinavian boy’s name.
Knowing how to write english fail!
intelligibility fail?
OUCH. Poor kid.
imo EULA is funnier..
(End User License Agreement)
Just because somebody gave it AS a name to their kid does not make it a real name.
ESPN was an actual name, a couple in like tenesse or alabame named their kid that for money and stuff, it’s pronounced “Espin”.
Poor kid.
lol
First! WIN!!!
You’re second you douche!!! FAIL!
He fails for more than that.
And not even a good douche will help him now…
why?
Because you keep trying to drink it.
…which someone did on ESPN once.
Tazer please?
Are you teasing me?
If he was teasing you, he would be naked and waving LittleNellie in your face.
Yeah, like using a wormie to fish for a bite.
Don’t tease me, bro!
Woah, nellie…
DON’T TEASE ME, BRO
Teased? Tazed? What’s the difference?
*tazed**passes out*
first fail
Alex is a TROLL! Where is BFF & his GIGANTIC tazer?
*tazes the living daylights out of Alex* Suck on that, troll!
We now return you to your regularly scheduled FAIL.
*Drives by DTI with large crate on forklift*
“I need you to sign for this Evapatroll 7000 tazer, kthanx”
Sweet! My upgrade has arrived! *signs gleefully* This is going to be so much fun! *climbs onto the E7000, which looks like an ATV with a giant tazer mounted to the front and revs the engine*
Ya gotta love a woman what loves exotic weaponry.
‘Specially when she’s insane
Can you tell I watched Mr. and Mrs. Smith last night? Mwahahaha.
hehehe… MOST excellent!
I’m just tickled pink that you’ll be teaching in our public school systemone day. I can imagine the compliance % for your homework assignments will be damned near 100%!
Systemone is a nice name for a girl.
Ahhhhhh, another comment where I am both turned on, yet cringing in fear.
That reminds me!!! I’ve got a shipment of evil bear and retarded moose
from a company called HTF.
Woo what? What’s retarded moose? Need one.
Nah, they are so stupid they actually taste like chicken.
I believe DG meant retardant, not retarded.
Yes, but what do they retard?
I guess we won’t know until after we’ve eaten them.
haha actualy a WIN from me, i can say everything i want and some one always reply on that LOLO
Finally you get some attention. Must be nice after all those years your
parents kept you locked up in the basement closet.
Thanks crazy lady!
At least he came from the Tetris land.
*sits back watching for trolls to devour failed first*
ты чьих будеш?
Exactly.
You spelled “assclown” wrong.
I think ypu’ve got that backwards.
I’ll swap you an o for that p, avis.
*sigh*
Bukkit please?
*drives by on her E7000* Here you go! *tosses bukkit* Just take the cover off and KER-SPLORTCH away!
*KERSPLORT*
Ick.
Sorry, my fault, I accidently switched my “P”s with Avis’s “O”’s this morning on my way out for work. I’ll take that bukkit.
Splooorch
Yeah, he gets my “O”s!
*wicked grin*
You seemed to have a lot of fun with my “P.
And no, I don’t mean the R.Kelly interpretation of that.
I get your “O”s, huh?
*Absconds with Avis into woods*
OOOooohh!
Oh c’mon…they’re fail-gaged! I think it’s a beautiful expression of their fail-love.
Ok, time to go to bed, kids! Thank you for watching!
But I’m not tired yet!
Watch out Christoper, she’s taking her “O”s back.
In Alex’s Russia…Post fail YOU
lolol WIN!!!
I can’t find 3 names on that list worth using! Blick.
If the kid is homely….Or you think teasing produces character….
A homely kid with a goofy name? Poor thing doesn’t have a chance. I hope she has a good sense of humor. Or does ‘favors’ for the guys.
She could be the practice girl. So all the guys are prepared when they get with the girls they really like.
Like a Fluffer?
I think tazing produces character.
Probably multiple characters, as in “AAAAHH!!” OR “@#$%#&@#!!!”
Those usually come after the loud “BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZT!”
I know some people that will have issues with that statement.
My condolences to those people.
You kinda know this person.
Not exactly a person you want to have issues with, either.
So, someone on here has more than 3 of the names listed above? And I didn’t list which ones I do like.
Avis’ real name is Espn Euphemia Eshe.
SLAP!!
Happy?
I always liked Nancy for a girl’s name.
Nancy always struck me as the anal-retentive business-only type of woman.
See, I grew up reading Nancy Drew, so I always liked it.
Well… I’m a complete opposite… Even the women part!
And thank you Ry!
I’m not sure you’ll ever get away from that one. As long as there are regulars here, someone will always remember your “other” name.
*pulls up on the E7000 and uses her new toy to taze-burn “NANCY” into Princess Nancy’s back* There we go. Labeled for eternity.
::sigh:: I’m used to all the awkward nicknames…: Five, Bernard (( I look like the head elf from the movie Santa Claus with Tim Allen apparently), Mr. Tumnus, Frodo, Cristobal, Squekers, Columbo, Spider-Man ((I don’t even know how I friggin got that one…)), cookie monster, etc. Nancy is normalcy compared to some of these! LOL
At least no one calls you a yak.
oh crap…
Then it wasn’t all for nothing
Geesh. Nesting FAIL.
Sigh…
i agree
I have a SIL and an aunt named Nancy.
Your son in law is named Nancy?
*really, really hopes velvet meant sister-in-law*
I’m not old enough to have a son in law, so yes sister in law.
.
Actually, I am old enough. *reality sinks in*
When that finally hits you . . .
doesn’t it kinda have aftershocks!?
Yes. The aftershock resulted in the consumption of a 3 Musketeers bar.
*Snickers.*
Knowing that I’m young makes me feel like 100 grand.
3 musketeers in a bar?
I kind of like “Esme”
Esme is good (and not because I’ve read Twilight – I’ve liked that name for ages). I like “Ambrosia”, personally. I think it’s a pretty, old-fashioned name.
Esmé, or Esmée is pretty common where I live (NL).
Newfoundland? Really?
It doesn’t strike me as a very Newfie name…
Not even close.
My real name is both more and less exotic than my screen name.
Aphrodite???
Hermaphrodite?
… Quite unsightly??? -.-
Christopher is going to get you for that one, Princess Nancy.
Oh, I think I can handle this one.
*brings the halibut into play*
*THWACKS Princess Nancy across the face*
Pulling the halibut out of retirement?
Oh, I see why.
What!? Why!?
Hertz
Avis means bird, you twit. I am NOT a rental.
I kid, I kid.
I guess you got her goat.
Avery???
For GIRL? And no.
I thought Avery was unisex? And darn! >.< Erm… Polly? LOL
I thought Avery was unisex? And darn! >.< Erm… Polly? LOL
You must be thinking Adrian.
Adrian is his brother, he is Nancy.
Re: gender of the name Avery.
.
All four of the baby names sites that I looked in list it as
both a girl’s and a boy’s name.
Your real name is Little Bird, right?
Right.
*rolls eyes while grinning*
Robin?
*checks time*
I see you are trying to catch some worms today.
That was posted about fifteen minutes before my afternoon nap. Which is not to be confused with my late afternoon nap.
There have been so many posters of late that I thought to get something in early.
*squeeze!*
But you said that you couldn’t find three names on that list worth using.
I read that as: there aren’t even three decent names on that list. Interpretation, yes, but that’s how it came across to me.
That would be a misinterpretation. If I didn’t like any of them, I would have said that there isn’t a single name on the list I like. There are two names on the list I like; therefore, I chose to go with 3 as the ‘magic’ number. You follow me?
Ahhhh. Got it. So which ones DID you like?
At this point in the game, I’m not telling anyone! I like it here & want to stay.
I’m guessing End User License Agreement, and You Genie???
EULA, and Eugenie
I’ve dated girls with some of those names. They all had great personalities. Many made their own clothes. There were a few who were a bit big boned.
Any of ‘em able to field strip an AR-15?
Oooh…AR-15. My favorite.
I KNEW there was something about you…
Not that I recall…but, Estee could work a Wonder Boner like no other woman I’ve ever known.
Did Estee shave her pits?
Ester’s going to have a fit at the retirement home.
I was thinking of a certain author.
I know, I didn’t want to give too obtuse of a hint.
… is it getting hot in here?
*sighs*
I’ll need that bukkit here too. Her name isn’t on that list. It’s close, but not there.
See, now I’m completely confused.
She is an E, my dearest. I’m sure she’s on the full unabridged fail.
You guys have NO IDEA how much I am laughing right now…!!!!
…whistles a little tune and looks at the ceiling…
The only person’s real name that I know on this site is my own. I can’t think of a single user name for a regular here that starts with an E.
It’s not a user name, but rather a regular name.
Then I’ll never be able to figure it out. Maybe a year from now when I find out other’s names. I’m still trying to figure out the source of the potato running joke.
That was the “clergy fail” if I recall correctly. And you can click on the screen names in blue, find the right one and you’ll know it. Just be careful of Ry’s nickie. You may NOT want to clickie. Hers aren’t always work safe.
Yeah, it’s on there Avis. It’s just further up the list.
Tried looking — not very hard, might I add, — but I still can’t find it, so I’ll put out some random guesses because of the whole “bird” thing. Beatrice? (You know, ’cause a nickname is Bertie, Bertie sounds like birdy…) Raven? I give up.
*is secure in the knowledge that unless they already know me, they’ll never guess my name*
Ergh! Can I have a hint, please?
No.
Em, is that you my dear?
OMG
YES! Yes, Bobby, it is me! (Gravatar deleted my account for some reason… I’ll have to go back sometime soon) What’s with the whole “ghost” thing, Bobby?
I was sad, I was unwanted, I committed
“cookie-side” by binge eating hundreds
of Thin Mints. But perhaps I lived!
Alas, my Bobby! You were not unwanted! You were very, very wanted indeed! I, too, consumed amounts of cookies by the dozen — a mix of gingerbread, chocolate chip, and snickerdoodle snatched from the local bakery.
Alas, finally! I’ve updated my attire to a classier wardrobe, to highlight to reunion! I’m ecstatic we found each other once again!
Em, you’re lovely! Come to me, well later, after I finish burping soo much!
Bob, I don’t care about your burping! I’m coming for you!
…admires the love…
Avis’ real name is Rumplestiltskin.
I’m always wary of clicking screen names. I’ve had someone show me how they track people’s IP addy when they click on his blog. That makes me nervous.
I have to say, this is the longest conversation that anyone has ever not actually had about me.
*roffle!*
Well, not anymore.
I can! Besides me, (I used to be a regular before the stupid computer broke) there’s Dragonwriter. Her real name is Emma!
My mother’s name was Emma.
No kidding.
My real name, as hinted to in my username, is Emily. Not much more can or will be revealed, though, but if Skwerlly Bob plays his cards right, MUCH more can be revealed…!
Here I am, but a shell, mourning you and you’re alive!
Oh! Em! My lover is back! What a cruel world ’tis which we live and die.
Oh, Bobby! You sure know how to make the ladies swoon! ‘Twas some time a few months ago, computer hath be crashed… taketh long time for repaireth shoppeth to get baketh with the resultseth. Afterwards, we hath learned of eternal damage done, and the laptop shalt not worketh again(eth). Now, we haveth a suspicious(eth) desktop, and alls well that ends well!
(Skwerls will nest below this level)
I figured I was dead because no one came looking for me, but I guess skwerls aren’t allergic to chocolate or Thin Mints don’t have chocolate.
“BURRRRRP!”
*a “minty” / “chocolaty” cloud pervades Fail BOG*
“‘cuse me!”
*Hops, skips, and jumps over to the Fail BOG with a box of cookies to see Bob*
Maybe it was just a pseudo-mint.
Guess i am the second loser here : (
Anyone else getting turned on by Euphemia? No?
Not by that…
Euphrates for a girl?
I’m kind of liking Esme. And I’ve always liked Estrella (I’ve got a thing for stars).
Maybe as one of a set of twins?
Euphrates is a valley girl name.
Like, you are SO right!
But I tigris….
*Laces arms around Avis and stick hands into her jeans’ back pockets*
“Hey stranger, fancy seeing you here.”
*Goofy smile”
*returns goofy smile*
Hey there!
Already thinking of baby names, babe? … can we start with a… different letter perhaps?
Uh…. not yet!! Not yet!!
Hahaha… ok mama bird, ok.
*blanches*
That… that’s… that’s what I call my mother on my blog. I need to sit down.
Erk… faux paus!
Its ok, its ok, thats a ways off. *Fans Avis who fainted like a 1850’s southern belle*
*sits up looks around woozily*
*looks at Christopher fanning me*
I think I’ll be OK.
*tries to stand up, stumbles a little, sits back down*
Maybe I’ll just sit for a bit longer.
Well, since you’re already laying down.
*Interlaces his fingers with Avis’, pins her hands above her*
*Deeply SMOOOCHES Avis*
“Better?”
Mmmmm! Much!
*lazy, happy grin*
“Well, then how about this?”
*Kisses and nibbles down the side of Avis’ neck, gently kissing her collarbone, bites her shoulder…*
*Shuts door with foot and closes blinds.*
*look of shock quickly turns to glee*
I’d go on, but from here on out isn’t PG, and I do so hate scarring Bondfan.
*ahem* Can you guys wait until I’m out of the room to start! Jeez!
Buh-bye.
*waves to Nancy as he heads out the door*
*zips by on her E7000, grabbing Nancy by the collar and putting him into the basket on the back* Have fun guys! *hits the EJECT button as soon as she gets out the door* Bye Nancy!
NOOOOOoooooo……!
*Being a skwerl, is outside, sneaks through room’s open window, through the previously closed blinds, and grabs the popcorn.* Heehee…!
That wasn’t popcorn. I’m not sure WHAT it was, but it wasn’t popcorn!
Here Em, I brought fresh popcorn And ‘TA DAA!’ a video camera!
Heehee…! *Grabs video camera and starts rolling* Thinks about the rudeness of grabbing, and *SMOOCHES!* Bob’s cheek!
Ummm, as I recall, her name was McGill…
But she calls herself ‘Lil.
Prezackly. And with aplomb.
And everyone got in her pantsies.
hi
Hey, how ya doin?
how nice of you to reply to my senseless comment
now i’m happy
Glad to make you happy. That was my random act of kindness for today. Now I can continue the rest of the day being mean.
Whew. Had me worried there, Velvet.
No worries, mate! I usually get the random act of kindness out of the way first thing in the morning at the coffee machine. I’m a bit off schedule today.
Kindness is all very well and good, but it should never come between a person and the coffee machine.
Dark Helmet: [looking at Mr. Coffee] What’s the matter with this thing, what’s all that churning and bubbling, you call that radar screen?
Colonel Sandurz: No, sir. We call it…[slaps the machine] “Mr Coffee”. Care for some?
[prepares a cup for Helmet]
Dark Helmet: Yes. I always have my coffee when I watch radar, you know that.
Colonel Sandurz: Of course I do, sir.
Dark Helmet: [to everybody] Everybody knows that!
All the henchmen in the room: [covering their crotches] Of course we do, sir!
Wasn’t really senseless. You were saying hi. We could use more cordiality on the internet.
Oh, are we garotting people again? I’ve been away.
ESHANA… classy.
Yeah, because America is the only country in the world and you are the center of the universe.
Eshana is a common Indian (as in the sub-continent) name. Gujarati, I believe.
Read a damn map some day.
Eshana is on a map? Where is it located?
BEHIND YOU!
No, that’s Potato, which by the way (THANK GOODNESS) is not a baby name listed.
That’s because this is the list of E names. Potato would be under P, not E.
Not if you spell Potato with an E.
Then you’ll be utterly horrified, much as I was, when you here this story:
Where I previously lived, there was a couple, I believe they went by the names Ginger and Brock, who basically had a life revolving around the food industry. Ginger was a server at some fancy-shmancy gourmet restaurant, and Brock was a chef or something. When they had twins together, to keep their love of food and food names alive in their family, (Ginger as in the spice, Brock like Broccoli.) they named their twins — get ready for it — Potato and Tomato. Potato was a girl that was called Patty, Tomato was called Tom. I was horrified when I heard of this, so when I saw the comment, I thought I would share the pain
Potato is behind you.
Perhaps she meant the city Mehsana in western India. I still stick to my preference for the name Eshana, though… classier.
Ohh sounds like someone got a little curry on her gooch and is now burning. Put the fire out Charlene, sit in a vat of Absorbine Jr.
Ya gotta way wif words ther, Ry
*stealthily inserts “e” like a ninja and is gone before any one knows what happened* >.> <..>
Okay so you have no problems with “ya” and “wif” but you find fault with “ther”?
He had some nits to pick, but he really sucks at finding them.
Well he needs to stop monkeying around.
Do you need another hug, Ry? You seem to have a chronic case of the grouchies these days.
*HUG!!!*
As many as you need, sweets.
Thanks, I am good. Just hitting and running. Been swamped and headed bak to Florida next week. But hugs are great anytime.
That is EXACTLY what was going through my mind!
Meh… I assumed those two were on purpose… ::shrug::
Read a map… for information on the ethnicity of names? Should I hand you a calculator so you can figure out what “humor” means?
She’ll need to take humour 101. Give her a baby name book so she can find her way to class!
Zing!!
Some parents (read: fathers) take their love of sports just a bit too far.
My baby has a first name, it’s E-S-P-N
My baby has a second name, it’s F-A-I-L
*wanders off in a daze humming Oscar Myer’s wiener song in her head*
*wanders back and tosses an “a” up into Myer*
FOURTH YES YES !
*tazetaze*
Anyone else wondering if Eula isn’t picked by some crazy compsci nerds once in a while?
LOLz – and they probably spell it in hex
Nope, binary you fool.
Negatory. Ya can’t do spells in binary.
It’s not magic, it’s ThE fUtUrE!
Sure you can. I can prove it 10 different ways.
Yeah, but you read the last chapter first.
Why waste time with salad when you can have dessert?
Why not toss a salad for dessert?
Oh yes.. Having your salad tossed for dessert is
definitely a happy ending..
I’m with ya’ Di, once the shrink wrap is broken…
You know there’s some “Democrat” out there named ESPN.
Like Shadynasty, commonly mistaken as Shady-Nasty, but actually pronounced Sha-Dynasty.
Or Le-a, commonly mistaken as Leigh, or Leah, but actually pronounced
Le-Dash-a. Yes, she pronounces the dash.
“The dash don’t be silent.” (at least, that was the quote I saw from the mom)
That’s almost as bad as Shithead – pronounced Sha-teed.
Or Asshole — Pronounced Uh-show-lee.
“Mr. and Mrs. Asswipe Johnson?”
“It’s As-wi-pé!”
Scully: We pronounce it “Petri,” actually.
Verlander: Oh.
Mulder: Like the dish!
That mailbox had to go.
Best show ever. Well, best non-comedy.
Burn any crosses recently? Racist cretin.
I didn’t love the first sentence – using “democrat” as a euphemism for African American – but I don’t think there’s anything racist about mocking names that are pronounced in completely unintuitive ways and will haunt children forever.
Don’t you just love the sweetness and light that Charlene brings to the blog today? How she just emanates love and acceptance? How her presence here makes us all kinder, nobler, more enlightened people?
I know I do.
She made me want to cuddle myself.
There’s a race of people who are all Democrats with funny names?
Yes.
You know, I think you’re more racist than any of the people you’ve called racist.
Hey Karen, your name is spelled ‘Charlene’; that’s wrong
The sad thing is that I have seen someone name their boy ESPN for his first name. I don’t know the people, but it was one of the birth announcements in the local paper.
Essence for a girl’s name – BAM!
better than Essex.
Nothing’s better than essex
I miss Emeril Live. That was a cool show.
Meh. He made good food, but his shticks were monotonous.
INSUFFERABLE MAN. Ugh.
No to mention the fail that “Euphrates” is a river….
A lot of parents name their kids after rivers. Or cities. It’s quite common.
Or reptiles of the Pliocene era.
Really? What are some?
Well, the North American three-toed Hipparion horse comes to mind.
Natti for short
I’m fond of archaeopteryx myself.
I’m working on translating that….
archaeo, meaning really really old, I’m guessing.
ptreyx, from pteradactyl? Which is an ancestor to birds… HEY! wait a minute!
>snicker<
*Grins*
Archaeopteryx was the first dinosaur with feathers, the progenitor of all avian species. Which brought me you, which is why I’m suddenly fond of it.
Nice recovery!
*grins*
That was fairly nimble, wasn’t it.
Chris be nimble, Chris be quick…
Wait a minute, I didn’t mean….
You don’t want to see Chris’ candlestick, trust me.
You just made me choke on a yam, Ry.
“Choke on a yam.”
That sounds incredibly dirty.
Only if you are a vicar hammy.
Hee! Hee! Protoavis!
Hee!
Well I’m off to go scrub and clean. I swear it feels like housework is never done!
Which is prezackly why the “birds” of the Pliocene pretty much didn’t bother with it…
Like “Rio”.
I believe I heard all the Duran Duran songs yesterday.
It must be a form of…(wait for it…)
.. Denial.
Don’t you mean “the Nile”?
I’m goin with Eula for my hypothetical daughter. Then I can sue anyone that sees her.
How is this not a win? I name all of my kids after shows. Just ask welcome-back- Kotter Jameson.
Is your really smart daughter named Jeopardy?
That would be the really curious daughter that’s always asking questions.
There are no stupid questions, only stupid people.
I wonder if Ebola made that list.
It didn’t, but Early did.
Right before E-Coliform
http://www.babynames.com/Names/Alpha/index.php?let=E&g=&o=315
This is where it comes from. Check out the explanations for some of these names.
Oh god. There’s Dell and Denim in there! Who the hell names their kid Denim? I would understand Levi, but DENIM? xD
E-Harmony?
E-Piphany
E-Coli Bacteria
E-Coli = Escherichia Coliform. FYI good sir.
Talk about scraping the bottom of the barrel for names. Eugenie? Who hates their daughter enough to choose that one?
Not as bad as “Floyce” which is not only listed as a girl’s name but described as – I kid you not – a combination of the names Floyd and Joyce. Who the HELL would do that to a child?
Parents of a hermaphrodite.
Wouldn’t that be like adding insult to injury? I think inter-sex kids have it tough enough without being named Floyce.
Best and worst of both worlds.
I’m thinking Floyd and Joyce would.
I knew two sisters who were pregnant during WWII.
They were afraid that their husbands would not return, and determined
to name their sons Lloyd and Wayne after the fathers.
Lo and behold, the fathers returned safely to find that their wives had
decided to keep the names, despite the fact that they had borne..
Daughters.
Lloydette. And Waynette.
for the record, a family actually did name their daughter ESPN in 2007. They pronounced it espen, and it was the father’s homage to the network. Thanks mom and dad!
And the little Adolph Hitler kid gets taken away from his parents because of what they named him, but Espn gets to stay at home? Sheesh…..If they can take kids away from their parents for naming them names that can cause them to be ridiculed and made fun of….why is that kid still at home?
Sports related. Auto-fail.
*blinks* Apparently Aim, as in “Direct Toward Target; Origin: American” is also a name. All righty then.
Fact:
In a recent interview, Sarah Palin says that she named her daughter, Bristol, because she always wanted to be a Sportscaster, but doing so would involve moving to Bristol, CT, where the ESPN headquarters were.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/02/05/palin-reveals-daughter-na_n_164580.html
Oh lord. CNN has picked this up too. That makes me SO glad right now.
Well, they gotta run outta stuff eventually… sounds like they’re getting pretty hard up over at CNN.
NOT A FACT! Huffingtonpost.com is the Mad Magazine of the Internets.
All of Sarah Palin’s children were obviously named after where they were conceived! Do the little research and you’ll laugh at how obvious it is.
Wow…Kitchen Table Palin is gonna have a rough time on the playground.
I lol’d!
Nobody seems to sleep in the bedroom anymore. Its getting that I’m going to have to get mattress countertops.
I’ll help you test them.
We’re gonna lose our deposit and void the warrantee.. ah what the heck!
*Picks up Avis who wraps her legs around Chris’s waist *
*Sets her down on cushy countertop and kisses her (***** ****. **** ****** **** **** leg over his right shoulder ** **** ***** *** ****! **** *** against the wall **** ****)
*This post has been censored for the protection of the 18 and under crowd.*
Ooohh, Baby!
Here, let me carry you. Your legs aren’t going to work right for at least another hour, honey.
4:21 – 4:13 = 8 minutes! Not bad for having a crowd watching!
I’ll give it a 9.5 for Location Choice; a 9.0 Technical Difficulty but a 8.1 lack for Explicit Language!
That would be at the very least 4:13 to 4:34. Not counting what happened after he carried me off. And the aftershocks.
Gotta love the aftershocks.
Uh…..
…. was that out loud?
Ooooooooh, yeaaahhhhh….
I guess I should know better than to take what Palin says as fact… Although, the transcripts from the interview are what they are, and I do believe she said that.
Anyhow… she’s an idiot.
Oh, my guess what that she was conceived on the frontstretch at Bristol Motor Speedway, in Tennessee. A Nascar baby!
During a race.
I know a girl named Espn (pronounced ‘ess-pen’) It’s becoming more popular for some retarded reason.
There you are! :hug:
.
Where have you been today? It’s Friday, and you were supposed to bring the popcorn.
*hugs*
I’ve been working,unfortunately.
Skwerlly Bob brought the popcorn! See above! ^
I see that he did! Thanks, bob!
.
What are ya working on?
.
Monday I had a workers comp insurance audit I had completely forgotten about until the guy showed up. Talk about pulling info together quickly! Then I missed most of Tuesday consoling a sick 3 year old. The rest of the week has been catchup.
I prefer mustard, but to each their own…..
Ass-pen, commonly known disease…
Quite useful in exams though.
The vicar suffers from a variant of that disease. It’s called Ass-potato.
My mother’s name is Esther. Just sayin…
My MIL met a woman who had named her kids La’monjalow and O’ranjalow. But she spelled it funny. Something like lemonjello and orangejello, or something weird like that.
My mom swears she knows a woman who was a teacher where those kids went to school. I think it’s an urban myth.
My father is an ER doc, and he saw a patient once with twin boys who were in because they had fevers. On their chart he saw that their names were “Boya” and “Boyb.” 10 FAIL points and a free taze on the troll of your choice with my new E7000 if you can guess why.
Boya was born first.
Um, because the ignorant uneducated “parent” thought that the hospital nurses gave her childrens some really nice names?
Ding, ding, ding! We have a winner. You win the aforementioned prizes as well as a plate of acorn and chocolate chip cookies.
It’s a Great Day to Be ALIVE, [instead of in a Thin Mint induced coma]!!
Thanks! *bows* I’ll save the cookies for guests, spend the 10 FAIL Points on dry cleaning services, and tase no one yet, I’ll let ya know.
Nicetaseeya, Bob.
Hi Judy!
Meet My girl skwerl Skwerlly Em.
She’s been gone a while, too. Coincidence? I think not. Will we be hearing of another befailment soon? Hmmm?
Hey, hey, hey? What exactly do you mean there by “coincidence”? And I… I… *blushes* I would love to be befailed to Bobby… *shuffles paws while smiling shyly and looking at the ground*
So much love on the blog!
No myth. We had a pair of twins in our town with those names, and a friend of mine was their teacher. And, yes, they were spelled “Lemonjello” and “Orangejello.”
I would like to see someone named Dirty Sanchez.
I wonder if Dirty Sanchez would be predisposed to playing a Rusty Trombone?
Probably, that or a Meat Flute.
*wanders back in for a moment to share this*
I went to high school with a Michael Hunt.
We called him Mike.
I worked with a guy named Ed Hunt and I mentioned his brother Mike. I had two older women saying Mike Hunt repeatedly and not having any idea why I was laughing so hard about it. “What’s so funny about Mike Hunt?” “I don’t know why she keeps laughing at Mike Hunt”. People came to see what was so funny and they fell right in “She is laughing every time I say Mike Hunt, I don’t get it.”
From what I heard, Mike Hunt is actually the cousin of Harry Arizona… just a rumor, though…
My cousin claimed his high scool principal’s name was Mr. Duckworth, and that he named his kids Donald and Daphne.
I went to school with a girl in Oklahoma and her brothers name Mike Hunt and her name was Cherry Hunt.
Did she also repair clocks?
10″ black clocks.
I have a friend who went to college with a man named Richard Swalleaux.
Yup. He went by Dick Swalleaux.
A former teacher of mine went to school with a girl named Herman. Her parents wanted a boy.
Hmm. Highschool I went with a girl, one Anita Sweat. Sorry, thats all I’ve got. (:()
I’ve told this one before, but in Dixon MO, (I think it was Dixon) Mayor (or Sheriff) Hogg named his daughter Ima.
Poor baby. She must be tougher than heck.
Anne Rice was born “Howard Allen O’Brien”…
essence is a pretty kick-ass middle name… especially if your first name is herbal
And your last name is…
Never mind.
Herbal Essence Never Mind?
That’s an odd name.
This IS the age of multiple middle names, you know.
Ever been to South India?
the last name is “fruit-fusions” according to my shampoo bottle… apparently the parents that that just fruit would sound too gay
Im so hyper right now. Im gonna taze somebody any second.
Probably WhoaNellie since youre the closest….
Put yer hands up and step away from that Tazer, Dantes. That’s Diana you hear pulling up behind you, and you DON’T wanna be messin’ with a crazy woman on a ‘7000…
*suddenly appears behind Edmond, disabling his tazer and busting some moves*
Has anyone noticed the Hershey’s candle ad on here? It looks like that dude has been eating someone’s Hershey Highway and loving it.
*Life is a Highway, I wanna ride it all night long*
I’ve tried that, I keep getting blow out’s or overheated so I am always in the emergency lane.
OMG that’s fantastic! Nice synapse stir there.
Loving it? Dude, he looks like he’s twacked out of his gourd on that Hershey’s highway……
I always wanted to be named Prudence Percivelle
Someone worked at my flower shop and named her daughter Prudence. I am sure every 55 year old pervert on here will perk up at this but she turned out to be the sluttiest 13 year in Miami.
Dear Prudence
won’t you come out to play
I always told my mother if she had named me that I would have been the meanest man to ever walk the earth. And in reference to the last portion of your post, I have not, never will understand the thinking of any man that would want to do anything like that with a child. UGGGGHHHH! Hang’em by their toes and start skinning them with catfish pliers.
I helped a friend out that had a PI office for a while. I set up their database and helped on some programming to automate background checks run through FDLE. They followed people who filed Workers’ Comp and Liability Insurance claims. I will never forget the 6′5″ black guy named Doris that they had to follow when he got out of jail. What mother names her son Doris? Mean guy, beat the crap out of the investigator when he found out he was being followed.
Anyone else notice the name EULA as in End User License Agreement
it’s a double fail
Oh, my stars! Aunt Esmerelda! What have you done?!?!?
Or who! (?)
Esmerelda? Bewitched??
Esmerelda, Bewitched????
Maybe it was Aunt Agatha? Bewitched fans, help me out!
Aunt Clara (Marion Lorne) was the original bumbling and lovable old witch. Esmerelda was a similar character that was added after Lorne died.
Of course! Aunt Clara! *facepalm*
Thank you, Admiral, that one would have had me up all nght.
She was the only witch to which Darrin showed affection. Glad to help.
espn did a special on people who named their children Espn.
My real name is actually Espen, a common Norwegian name. Not too different ^^
I think the daughter would get acquited with justifiable homicide if she was named ESPN. >.>
umm. actually a couple of years ago, some people named their baby girl ESPN
And EULA 1 down on the right. (Though that could be a real name)
It is, but everyone ignores her.
girl in my school named her daughter this a couple of years ago…gave everyone a good laugh for a while
Oh c’mon! ‘Euphemia’ is waaaaay weirder. Like a diesease. “I’m sorry your son has euphemia, there’s nothing we can do.”
Whose name is Euphemia!? Gross
And we all know there’s no coming back from a diesease.
Well, there’s the archdiesease…
It’s on that list to the right duh
**Grabs Tazer**
I warned you guys.
**Tazes WhoaNellie and friend Diana, plus the Hersheys Syrup candle guy. Plus Avis for no reason. **
You guys had it coming.
*GLOWERS*
*is also impervious to tazers*
…In other news, Edmond Dantes has become the first inmate of the new ‘completely insane’ sector of the FAIL BOG. He will be in solitary confinement for the first few days, then allowed to talk with the other trolls occasionally.
But if he tazes my friends again, he’s dragon-toast.
*Puts tazer in Dantes’ mouth*
*Grabs said troll by the scruff of his unsightly hunchback*
*Rolls him into ball so his head ends where his ass begins*
*Puts him in trunk of old cadillac*
*Drives cadillac into polluted lake, jumping out at last second*
*Pulls out desert eagle .50 and shoots gas tank*
*Watches burning car sink into polluted abyss indifferently*
Alrighty then. I’m obviously not needed here.
*grins at Christopher*
The lake actually looks nice by firelight.
*leans head on Christopher’s shoulder*
*sighs contentedly*
*Drapes his jacket over Avis to warm her*
It is, almost magical even. Thanks for letting me play “Good Cop”.
Eula sepose to be English variant of Greek “Eulalia” and should be pronounced YOO-lÉ™, was most popular in 1908.
While it is true that some common Scandinavian names might be written like Espn… we do not live in no-vowel-land and prefer names that can actually be pronounced.
No silly, “Eula” means “she who rides bare-bottomed”.
*awaits speedy return of above comment into proper thread*
You are absolutely right, now, point me into the direction of all Eulas who try desperately to live up to their names =)
O.o o.O O.O >.< There’s two of them!?!? NO! Skwerlly nearly ran the world dry of cookies merely on his own! Two will run cookies into extinction!!!… Oh, well… They’re cute! ^.^ *tosses a delicious and fresh Semoya((SP?)) Girl Scout cookie between them and waits for hilarity to ensue*
If only you knew. Such a sweet, innocent boy.
Knew what? Oh well, I guess… well, I really shouldn’t indulge… *Holds back by splitting cookie in half and then eating one half* Ahh…
Snags the other half of the cookie….Ahhhh!
*burp*
My friend and her husband named their youngest Espn. Definitely not a name I’d pick, but it’s their kid and they’re football fans so… to each their own.
O.o o.O O.O >.< What!?!? NO! There’s two of them!? Bob alone nearly eats the entire world’s cookie supply! What will two of them do! This may be the very end of cookies!… Oh well!… They’re cute! ^.^ *tosses delicious and fresh Semoya ((SP?)) Girl Scout cookie between them and awaits for hilarity to ensue*
In Demark you can be named Espen. but this name is just weird.
my baby should be named Fox News
It’s funny because Estrella is also snack food.
http://www.freewebs.com/sipsitupa/n6411370012878_MED.jpg
my ex girlfriends name was Goph (pronounced like “cough”)
Little off-topic, but does anyone else remember that guy who like 10 years ago legally changed his name to Trout Fishing In America?
# French Kissing in the USA #
He must have really liked Richard Brautigan.
Yeah, no kidding. But when I heard the story as a kid, I hadn’t heard of that band, so I thought he must really like to fish.
It’s a book, not a band.
nope but I remember hearing about the bloke about ten years ago changing his name to mr yorkshire-bank-are-facist-bastards
I’ll name my kid HBO.
Knowing I’m young makes me feel like 100 grand.
Frickin’ nesting fail.
*knows*
*but will not tell*
^bump^
Ain’t gonna happen.
*grin*
I hate nesting fails!
Dammit. Now no one is going to come clamoring to me asking about your real name!
I’m just wondering why they should care. I didn’t mean to start anything!
I care.
Is it Esther?
No, it’s Episiostomy. She is named after her two grandmothers – Epiosiotomy and Colostomy.
Dragon! You know her name?!? *Pants, waiting for Dragon to tell what should be done for her in order for her to tell*
Okay wordpress where in the blue hell is my bit of linguistic whimsey?
I think it’s down a few comments.
\/
Nope. Different whimsey. It should be in response to Dragons: “Dammit. Now no one is going to come clamoring to me asking about your real name!”
My side splitting response was: Clamor clamor clamor.
The world was denied a mirthful moment. This is a crime against humanity.
Hee…!
*zips lips*
Do not make me break out the comfy chair!
Not just a crime against humanity, but against art itself. Against all that is good and pure in this universe. Alas, it is not to be.
Farewell wee jest. We hardly knew thee.
Seriously?
By definition the non posting of anything that I write is a crime against humanity.
I was referring to the clamoring, but I see what you mean. I don’t like the blogmonster either.
Side note: spellchecker did not flag don;t. go figure.
Go figure? Okay.
2+2=4
16*3=48
Success! The world lives to laugh another day.
According to Orwell, 2+2 = 5.
But not according to Danny Kaye as Hans Christian Andersen. Oh well.
Did you for one moment believe that when we were told that someone knew something about another that we wouldn’t do a bit of clamoring?
Yes.
*grins*
Nesting fails make Avis’s children go splat!
*has no children*
*is happy about that*
You made a pretty good yolk there.
Damn nesting fail.
Not again!
The blogmonster got out a little while ago, but I got him back in his cage.
Check the lock. He seems to be feasting on my comments.
Well, they are pretty delicious.
There was this case in the US, where the parents tried to name their kid ‘4real’, after they saw him or her for real.
Ya its like that mom who named her kid La-ah and its prounonced ladasha
I love that there’s a picture on the babynames.com site of a kid named Espn. Damn!
The name I am most concerned with is “Estee”. I would hope that the parents would have enough foresight to not give their daughter a middle initial of “D.” Although that might warrant a full scholarship to Rutgers (New Brunswick campus).
I take it you are not familiar with the Lauder family.
I went to school with Harold. Kinda creepy.
I just checked on babynames.com and there is a BOY with the name ESPN
My cousin named her dog Espn. They pronounce it Espin. It’s because he husband loves sports.
Hate to tell ya but Im back. You guys tazed/shot/burned/drowned my double.
Ive been kicking back all along….watching with binoculars. You guys really put on a good show.
*snickers*
*Was an infantry Marine*
*Waiting behind Dantes with camo paint on and K-bar knife in mouth*
*Dante never feels a thing*
If you look on that website (www.babynames.com), and look up LOL, its also in there as a name.
I think naming a girl “End User License Agreement” would be worse. *points at EULA on the list*
I showed this to my two kids, SPIKE and FOX, and we all thought it was a great name. So did my wife BET.
Fox is actually a pretty awesome name. Especially for FBI agents.
Or starship pilots.
Plus, they’re pretty much the awesomest animal ever.
Except perhaps frogs.
Or octopuses.
OK, I’ve come up with an official ranking of animal awesomeness:
1.Octopus
2.Fox
3.Frog
4.Wolf
5.Shark
6.Tiger
Now let’s compare to the ranking of animal cuteness:
1. Kitty
2. Fox
3. Hedgehog
4. Puppy
5. Hamster
As you can see, the fox lies at the crux of these lists, at the nexus of cuteness and awesomeness, making it not only awesome or cute, but statistically aesthetic as well.
If I could show you a Venn diagram, believe me, I would.
Sadly, I’ve heard tell of someone who named their daughter ESPN… sad, sad and pathetic.
I feel bad for the kid who has to bear that name. I’d kill myself.
Or you could just, you know, change your name. But hey, whatever works for you.
I just clicked on the ad for the Hershey candle. Turns out you can’t eat it. WTF? That’s the only reason I would want it! There’s a picture of a guy who looks like he’s eating it! If that’s not false advertising, I don’t know what is.
Did no one else notice that End User License Agreement is one of the names on that page also? EULA?
I would prefer naming my daughter ‘Fox Soccer Channel’!
if youve seen any of the names black people name there kids is it a surprise?
By the way, “etana” is snail in Finnish.
THIS is the reason the French office of births, deaths & marriages (or whatever they call it) had made the news a couple of times over the years by REFUSING idiot parents with weird-ass names for their newborns.
Sounds like our English-speaking bureaucrats could take a lesson from them…
“Magnolia Thunderpussy”
“Mr. & Mrs. Coffin and their daughter Velvet”
“Mr. Blonde, who someday plans to name his daughter “A.(*any* ‘A’ name) Typical”
“Origin: American” — Well, what else could it be!
this is also an add placement fail. lol. 3.
FAIL
it specifically says underneath that you should NOT eat it. as it is a “CANDLE”
but i ould laugh if you bought it and ate it lol
i want a son with the name EXPN because hes extreme 2 da max… or not
Yeah – the sad part is I’m sure it’s on the list because some poor babies have actually been named this.
This is my uber fail then “Jaqquita” and “Chiqquita”
Maybe u can call your boy Fox
Where’s my name? *sobs*
wow. some people must be stoned when they are naming their kids geez…
Most of the names on that list will be real winners in the schoolyard…
I would would like to go for uncommen/unusual names , but all of these are ridiculus. I like kristie for a girls name and ian for a boy.
Yeah, I work for an answering service and I’ve talked to an Espn before…
^
Tazes bondfan and Avis*
Massacres failblog.com*
Kaiild Christopher.*
friend of mine works at a school and one of his students was named “shithead” (supposedly pronounced shaa-teed)
i went to the site cus i wanted to see for myself.. lmao. crazy crazy
and you think Espn is bad? how about Euphrpsyne? (it says so on the right for those who didn’t notice. Those who did notice should have stopped reading long ago, and are totally stupid is they keep going after this) (if you for some reason still is reading, you must be slightly retarded. I recomend you turn off your computer and go hide away from daylight, just like your fellow retarded)(if you’re STILL reading, you have less life than the life less no-lifer who wrote this.)
Add mine to the list- have a student named Espn, pronounced es-pin…. That’s Dad getting his way there…
first.
So you wanna tell me someone in this world is named EULA? As in EULA, the game license? Geez, being called Espn would be bliss.
Anyone who would name their child that is a failure.
UM NO!!
At least it’s not Renesmee…
(ahem)
It actually has been used as a name. It was mentioned in Malcolm Gladwell’s The Tipping Point and has become far more popular since then. It is usually pronounced ES-pin with the stress on the first syllable but I am sure there are other ways to say it.
Estee is a swear word in french LOL
EULA – end user license agreement ftw
and it all happens in the UNIted states ^^)