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is this what they call first?
seems so…
dont lie
very funny retardaxion
Into the BOG with both of you! Scoot!
dont they mean retarDED
No.
tyler albin has AIDS
If that’s not true, it’s libel. If it is true, it could be invasion of privacy. Either way, you’re in trouble dude…unless you mean aides, as in assistants.
Or ayds as in diet candy.
no no acquired immune deficiency virus
Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome*
learn your std’s dumbass
I LIKE TURTLES
I kind of miss iliketurtles.
That kids my idol
he sucks ehauhuaehuehueh
Yep he sucks all the worries out of the world with his wise words.
That teenagers my graven image.
its how the made the powerpuff girls, except its the powerpuff tards now.
It’s quite apparent this is the toothpaste-of-choice by 93.6% of FailBlog posters.
i looked for it on amazon.com. no luck. it would make a great gag gift.
You can get it in Sainsbury’s – my boyfriend and I saw it there late last year just never got round to doing photos!
super bowl win!
LOL I work in a pharmacy and we sell this, surprised it’s never popped up before really.
There’s a mouthwash too.
retarDEX is real… My mum uses it…
first
Fail.
nope. pay moar attention.
He meant the first of february
Next to Fairy 2thpaste.
Doesn’t that make your teeth go blue? And then you could use them to communicate wirelessly with compatible devices. This could explain STAURA. Hmmm.
Makes a change from hearing the radio through fillings.
I thought the foil hats stopped that? Who handed them out? I’m going to complain.
.
Now you can send pictures with your teeth! It’s a real mouthful and redefines the measure of megabites.
Somehow I’m reminded of Conrad Poohs and his dancing teeth. (I cried with laughter when I first saw it.)
Heeheehee. You reckon that’s what retarDEX really does to your teeth?
That would be Crellm toothpaste. (Or Shrill, don’t remember.)
I went to that restaurant with the free LSD…
now I can’t only SEND pictures with my teeth, I can SEE them!
You just sed STAURA, maybe gods trying to tell me something.
¿ ǝɥʇ ʇɐɥʍ
Sweeet. How’d you do dat?
go to http://www.flipmytext.com it’s really easy to type upside down
¡snoıuǝƃ ɐ ǝɹɐ noʎ
Oh, thank you very much. Now even the genius that do not know how to use google will be able to write illegible text here.
Wait, I don’t care very much about that because I won’t be even trying to read those comments!
ʎssnd ƃuıʇıɐʍɐ ɹǝɥ ɥʇıʍ dn ʇı pǝuıן puɐ ʞɔoɔ ʎɯ pǝqqɐɹƃ ǝɥs ʇɔɐʇuoɔ ǝʎǝ ʎuɐ ƃuıʞɐǝɹq ʇnoɥʇıʍ ˙ɐɟos ǝɥʇ uo ʇsǝɹpɐǝɥ ǝɥʇ ƃuıqqɐɹƃ ʎq ɟןǝsʎɯ pǝɔɐɹq ı ˙ɟןǝsɹǝɥ pǝɹǝƃuıɟ ǝɥs ǝןıɥʍ ʎssnd ʞuıd ƃuıuǝʇsıןƃ ɹǝɥ ƃuısodxǝ ‘pɐǝɹds sƃǝן ɹǝɥ ɥʇıʍ ǝɹǝɥʇ ǝıן ǝɥs ǝןıɥʍ ɹǝɥ uodn uʍop ƃuıɹǝǝd sɐʍ ı ʇɐɥʇ os dn pooʇs ı
tfu;dr
I must be a retardex® because I don’t understand what you wrote.
Too f*cked up; didn’t read
From the small part I could be bothered to read, chances are that’s a good thing…
τλ;δρ
¡soıɹɐʇuǝɯoɔ sol ɹǝǝl ǝp opuɐʇɐɹʇ osnlɔuı ɹǝs ɐ ʎoʌ ou ǝnbɹod osǝ ǝɹqos oɥɔnɯ ɐʇɹodɯı ǝɯ ou ‘ɐɹǝdsǝ
˙ǝlqıƃǝlı oʇxǝʇ ǝʇsǝ ɹıqıɹɔsǝ ǝp zɐdɐɔ áɹǝs ǝlƃooƃ ɹɐsn oɯóɔ ǝqɐs ou ǝnb oıuǝƃ lǝ osnlɔuı ɐɹoɥɐ ˙sɐıɔɐɹƃ sɐɥɔnɯ ‘ɥo
Great, first Bill Gates made it easier for every retard to turn on a computer and not explode from confusion. Now Adidas22205 has made it easier for every retard on failblog to be even more retarded.
I blame their toothpaste.
b ɹ o . ʇ x ǝ ʇ d ı 1 ɟ
Is it FOR retards or does it MAKE retards?
Well either way, it will work for you.
You too!
Don’t you have women to stalk and children to molest?
No.
LIES!!
Its website explains that Retardex® is clinically proven to eliminate bad retard breath
Wow, this explains why the Royals have such messed up teeth.
It it so because they clean their teeth with a remedy for ejaculatio praecox?
I don’t want to know about anyone’s cox.
What if they had a comb for their cox?
Gullet, I didn’t even think about that.
That’s a term I prefer you weren’t familiar with.
teeth? Oh, I am more familiar with lips, however I will try to be more careful in the future.
You think the Royals have bad teeth…you should see the Detroit Tigers’ teeth….ew
Zounds!
Duh, it’s called that because it’s supposed to *retard* (verb) the formation of bad stuff on your teeth. Failblog fail.
The logic behind the name makes it no less a fail. If a condom company decides to release Cock Cover as a condom brand, it will be a fail as well. It will be true but still a fail. Just like cock soup is a fail.
Vagina chips never sold well either.
The salt and vinegar were too reminiscent of Massingil (sp?).
eeewwww
Ow. Just. Ow.
…maybe not in YOUR district…
I bought bag of vagina chips… Bit salty though…
There’s always too much yeast in vagina chips.
Depends on the vagina plant they came from.
True, but it fails because it’s still a sucky name for a product, which is why you have never seen it in the toothpaste aisle of major stores.
I chuckle at this toothpaste every time I see it in Morrisons, which is one of the main supermarkets in England. They also sell Mr Brain’s Pork Faggots (which I’ve seen somewhere else on failblog too).
Tasty
Eh, Mr. Brains is too fruity for my tastes.
You don’t like your Pork Faggots fruity?
This retard business has already been discussed on Engrish. No need to rehash it here.
Every single fail on failblog started out because someone thought it was a good idea. The fact that they end up with a product called “retardex”, a potato up their butt or squished by a zorb is what makes failblog what it is.
I don’t think anybody could put it better Fluffy.
*SQUEEZE*
Assuming we’re all idiots fail.
HUUUUUUUUGE FAIL
Does anyone else notice that it seems like someone blurred out the first letter?
Don’t start conspiracies. If you google it, you will see it really exists. Don’t be a retard.
*scootches closer
Hello again!
Wow failblog failed to nest this under Ryannon’s comment…
It didn’t, my browser failed to display it.
What a triumphant return!..
LTNS! Where have you been young man???
Why are you my mommy?
Because I had sex with your daddy? But he could never prove you were mine.
Really?
Tell me more about my daddy!
He has a lonely life and pretends to be lots of other people just to get the attention he wants.
Wow.
Reportedly, he was not a good man. He never worked a day in his life, had three outside children (and that ain’t right); did some store front preachin’,
talked about saving souls and all the time reaching, and stole in the name of the law.
Not good.
Is that it? My daddy was lame! Why did Ryannon have sex with him?
I didn’t. I told you he could never prove you were mine. I would never have anything to do with a scumbag like that.
Oh.
Do you think he lived on a Retard Capsule?
I dunno. He’s your dad. I am just sitting here in judgment.
I heard he spent most of his time chasin’
women and drinkin’.
And dealin’ in dirt.
This reminds me of someone I knew around here.
Should I call an exterminator?
I think some people enjoy looking how he is beaten, you might ruin their fun.
Since 4am I’ve been dealing with a 14 yr old cock-a-poo with congestive heart failure. She died at Noon and I just got through digging the hole in the backyard and burying her amidst much sadness from the family. SB
PS: I only post as SB and do not wish to be
mistakenly identified as any “particular” idiot.
Any comments between this morning that
you might wish to attribute to me, were not.
What´s the scoop Bob?
I’m sorry for your loss. I have three such holes in my own back yard.
Thank You Norm.
She joins 5 others from the past 25 years.
Sorry to hear about your pet Bob. Not that a troll’s condolences mean jack shit around here, but I feel bad for you all the same…
Shit, Bob. I just teared up. So sorry. My dog IS my family….
His other girlfriend just had octuplets!
Up to my neck in work and then exams, so I spent nearly all the time I had free with my friends and my dogs (both groups felt neglected). I have a lot of failbog to catch up on now…
Just do like I do and start from this point. I can’t be bothered to try to read old stuff unless I am bored and feeling like someone is stalking me on here.
By catching up, I meant looking at all the fails.. I seriously doubt I’d have the patience to look through months of comments (or even through days… or a day…)
Well I am just glad you are back. You missed the influx of myspace additions from several of us, the holidays, Mookie and Lou got married, the influx of trolls and alter-egos, and the list goes on. But most of all, you were missed.
It was a shotgun wedding – I held him at gunpoint. Thanks for being my maid of honor – you were great. Except for the maid part. And the honor part. But other than that, you nailed it.
Teehee, I nailed Lou too but only while you were doing the best man.
Well, that explains the wedding night. And he told me he had whiskey dick. I thought he smelled like mackerel.
I had nothing to do with that! You can’t pin it on me! Nope! Nuh-unh.
No, you’re good. Ry’s made a full confession. I guess we know now where the mackerel in that fluffy mackerel pudding comes from… and it ain’t the sea.
oh eww!
*feels sick now*
*will try damnedest not to make too many errors*
what… the… hell…
Look at the reflection on the floor, doesn’t look like anything was blurred out…
Totally fail!
I want toothpaste to UN-tar my teeth.
Tar FTL!
It’s funny because it spells retard.
If it were sold in America the PC community would pressure the company to rename it “Mentally less Astute Toothpaste”
And the picture would have it standing next to a rock in the desert.
*sǝʇɐqɹǝʇsɐɯ*
I was actually goign to post exactly the same thing
Ha I saw it at work
Good, I hate it when I eat retards and they get stuck in my teeth.
¡ʎuunɟ
What my ex-husband uses, obviously…
I hope you used Kleenex to get the house and bank account.
this is definately a win because obviously it retards the growth of plaque
Uh…yeah…? OMG LEAVE!
Um.. it’s WHAT a win?
He misspelled “defiantly.”
It’s a portmanteau of defined and lately. He’s got the newest upgrade to his handbag and it describes his retarDEX as a win!
I had a cat named Portmanteau.
Now I’m curious how you drink cream sherry.
Fumiously of course!
That makes SO much more sense!
Retard Capsules are better.
Did you live on one of those over the last years?
Are they like time capsules?
No, I did not live on one, but I tried going in one. So, I’m waiting in line with retards, and I finally get in and I end up going back in time for some reason. And it was when Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the moon!
That’s what we need. Retards with clean teeth.
Yes, at last you can get rid of your bad breath =)
aww, i sent a pic of that in ages ago and it never got posted
Are you sure? You look like a Claudia I once knew in college.
nah, im the claudia who posted this, im still in secondary school! (:
Hmm they just seem to get younger and younger.
Such clean blank slates. So young, so impressionable…
Seven out of every four retards prefer TarDEX in clinical trials.
What did the other five prefer?
Ask professor Gumby.
After years of studies I can now tell you the six other retards prefer to chew on old rubber soles.
I think Windex. Its been a while since I read the study.
I bet several have used that Toothpaste too
Sorry I think it´s only you, Chuckles and Maboul59.
Retard Ex. The only brand Scientologists would trust if they believed in dental hygeine. Anpu doesn’t use it though. He prefers his own patented brand of toothpaste.
Amazingly enough, this toothpaste would have probably done well in the US with boys. What 9-10 year old boy wouldn’t laugh at having retarded teeth?
The same kind of 9-10 year old boy his parents send to the store to buy toothpaste and don’t spend all the money in sweets and cigarettes.
I never sent my son for cigarettes. He just knew to go play for a while if there was a sock on the front doorknob. “Mommy’s working”
This place is CRAWLING with zombies. Get out while you still can!!!!! AAAHHHHH!!! It’s eating me, but its breathe smells so bad! Give it some retarDEX!
Much better…
Ok you can eat me now.
I think someone did not read the “do not eat” label of the retarDEX.
And had silica gel for breakfast.
rich in fibre… and death.
They Are Night Zombies!! They Are Neighbors!! They Have Come Back from the Dead!! Ahhhh!
at least they’re not Wizard Zombs… those guys will give you a good sticking
Zombies, smobies. They only want to eat brains, so I don’t worry about them.
Could someone explain me where is the fail ?
It’s not a fail just a description, cuz you own the toothpaste right?
It’s a philosophical PHAIL – is it really there at all? Or is it just a mode of being…
it’s supposed to be like retard
retard-X
although i would pronounce it
Re-tar-dex
as opposed to what i assume is the american way
ree-tar-dex.
international fail in making clear a failure
I use this toothpaste
Well if u don´t want to look like an ass you can chew on old rubber soles =)
In fact, it’s actually like £12 a tube, it’s really good.
15.35 american for a tube of toothpaste? no wonder it’s the toothpaste preferred by 7 out of every 4 retards.
or try this new shampoo called moroNIX
Bad Name. The toothpaste didn’t fail. It’s a Name or Marketing fail.
buba uses it!
Now we all know why Buba refers to himself in third person…
Reminds me of a van model name I saw once: “Retarder.” I think it was a VW commercial van but I can’t remember and I couldn’t find it via web searches in order to submit it. It’s kind of a double fail considering both the sound of the name and the implication that it will make you late.
You think it’s bad?
How do you reckon it is, when your nick is what mine is?
What if you apply this thing ‘down there’? Maybe you could have sex for hours!
Tried it, it just makes everything minty fresh. oh and you also lose all bowel control.
Darn! My sincerest sympathies to your significant other. I mean, that’s the least I I can say after indirectly murdering her lybido… Oh, well. At least she smells good now.
Ehem, no, it’s not a mistake. I wrote “I I” in purpose. I happen to have two personalities. The bad thing is they can’t stand each other. Now, if you excuse me, it’s time for my medication.
*Runs away before someone brings the bukkit*
ON purpose.
*mumbles*
Pass the bukkit?
OLD. seen this in a pic before but the other pic was better because it had some nub teenager holding it beside his head for the camera lol
aw, Americans amuse me when something tickles them because they don’t understand English.
Just because we find humo(u)r in it, doesn’t mean we don’t understand it.
We do tend to understand enough to start a sentence with a capital letter.
Moomins rule!!!
Is that you Piage?
Who is this directed at?
hmm, not really a fail. retard means to slow down or diminish. It has definitions that are completely acceptable in everyday use. It doesn’t have to mean anything bad.
Your words indicate that someone being mentally retarded is bad. For shame!
weetards
I knew someone would take that the wrong way…no, the fact the picture is on here indicates that being retarded is bad, otherwise it wouldn’t be considered a fail. Its humor is derived from the fact that most people will think that being retarded or mentally handicapped is “bad”. I am saying it shouldn’t be here because using the word retarded and its many uses aren’t bad (or a fail). Although, technically, my opinions about the mentally handicapped aren’t even mentioned.
If its a considered a FAIL, then the meaning of the word must be bad (otherwise it wouldn’t be a FAIL in the first place),
I don’t think it should be a fail,
Therefore, I don’t think the meaning of the word is bad.
I am so tired. Got over sickness just in time to spend four hours in front of a TV. None of my homework is done. *sigh* At least Judy will be happy…
Awww I hope you feel better. That reminds me, I wonder how k-k-k-katy’s baby is doing.
k-k-k-katy had a b-b-b-baby? When? Details. Any word on how Sara’s wee wee one is doing?
Wow, I haven’t seen Sara in a while. Yeah, katy had a baby but she has been sick
, like to the hospital sick. She is a wee little one, months old if I am not mistaken, but oh sooooo cute!
i have this toothpaste, except mine is called retarDENT. totally serious.
I actually have and use this toothpaste, and the mouthwash. I’m suprised it hasn’t shown up here before…
That reminds me, i need to re-tar my roof…
Great toothpaste, it works really well.
But in todays society… silly name.
(german) http://de.wikipedia.org/wiki/Retard
=
(english) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Time_Release_Technology_(medicine)
hence, there might be a lot of medicine related “retard” fails…
LOL, now that sounds like my kind of toothpaste! LOL Duh Duh Duh!
RT
http://www.internet-privacy.us.tc
NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I was gonna post this up myself! I took a picture of a box of retardex but never got round to uploading it. Oh man…
Oh, sorry. I thought I knew the poster. Nice profile picture Mikey D. Are you Finish or Swedish?
First!
…fail.
Timing fail… :l
I actually submitted a retardex fail about 6 months ago…
:/
As mentioned there is more than one definition of the word retard.
I find some of the comments on here disgusting, it isn’t nice to make fun of people who are mentally handicapped. If there was a brand of toothpaste called “nigger” how many of you would start making nigger jokes? Just because the mentally handicapped are less able to defend themselves, people think it’s fair game to make fun of them. Well, it isn’t, some of you ought to be fucking ashamed of yourselves.
im retarded and i like this place funny yes ok bye
haha
Ha ha! indicated for american people.
Lol its toothpaste at 1st i thought it was Lube
I actually bursh my teeth with that shit :l
I need to brudh with that -__-;;;
that’s supposed to say brush, proving my point.