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Cheezburger Company Blog
first.
would you care to actually SAY something next time?
No he wouldn’t. Nobody cares.
LIKE OMG!!! is this like foreshadowing PAris’ Death
Unfortunately, this is rather unlikely.
On a technical point na_93 is right, Paris will die at some point. These gravestones may just cast a long shadow.
And we now know how she will die. Run over by a steamroller. The corpse is so stretched out, they have to use 2 graves or she wont fit in.
My dream come true
You don’t believe that intelligence should be praised rather than looks?
He doesn’t hit me as the type of guy that values intelligence in his victims.
i think this is foreshadowing paris’ death in a cemetery.
1 gravestone for the place of death.
the other for place of burial.
I don’t think her ass is that tight anymore.
Lovely.
Did this already happen?
Or do I just have to imagine it?
If so I don’t mind..
And why does this only have 4 1/2 Thumbs!!!
Rest in pieces.
She’s already dead inside. We just gotta wait for the rest to catch up.
The soulless do perambulate, though they are pretty much useless for anything else, it’s true.
There are a kind of women so loose of soul, that on our TVs will mutter their affairs.
the name´s Hilton….Paris Hilton…lol
/win
i said something. although it was not exactly related to the picture.
TROLL!
* gives another can of troll away, extra strength*
you wouldn’t mind testing this, would you? thanks.
*takes out BFG, uzi, chainsaw and angry cat*
DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEE!!
You’re using granny catflap? wow, i never knew she was that destructive…
Carry on.
No, I think it’s grandpa catflap.
Well, whomever was last was a tad rough, apparently.
lol wut
When the Eiffel Tower goes wrong…
I heard she choked on somebody else’s vomit.
I heard it wasn’t vomit.
I heard she bites hard when she gags.
Try the eye socket, it’s toothless.
So…your glass eye’s still under Ry’s bed?
No, I matched it up with another and have a very nice set of ben-wa balls now.
And whenever you use them, I get quite a view.
I heard her jaws are almost as strong as a hyena’s.
I heard her teeth were honed to precision cutting instruments.
I heard she had her teeth removed to heighten the pleasure for others. She is a giving individual afterall.
I heard she was giving to the point where she couldn’t get all that generosity back out in time to breathe.
So she choked on her own philanthropy?
my, what a large wallet you have…
all the better to donate to a variety of charities with!
She’s Fellatio Nightingale.
She’s Cunnilingus Sparrow.
She’s Mother Fluteaser.
She’s Betsy Buttfloss.
She’s Harriet Tubgirl.
She’s Susan B. Assplay
She’s Clara Hardon.
Oops! I guess that one was over the line. Sorry Pocahontas.
Dorothea Lynde Dix.
I Heard that if you say her name 3 times she appears in front of you
She does…
OMG! I’m scared now…
lol
*first tazer*
*second tazer*
*uses to taze first tazer*
*rehab*
*masturbates*
Oh, please, please, please, please! Can it be true?!?!
You spelled bastard incorrectly.
No, he just didn’t spell right. Nor did he use correct grammar, if you were to translate those shortened, stunted words.
Dear woebke. Guess what? No one cares, except to get pissed off.
Ha!
I think you misspelled ‘half!’
I think you misspelled ‘hard!’
I think you misspelled ‘ham!’
I think you misspelled ‘had!’
I think you misspelled ‘hack!’
I think you all misspelled “weiner”.
I have a dream.
A song to sing?
A thong to fling?
A schlong to schwiiing?
A dong to ding?
A nipple to twiiiing.
or a phone to ringggg?
win(g)
A ripple to briiing.
A cripple to stiiing.
A couple to swing.
A bell to ring.
A Shamwow to sling
A cash register to cha-ching.
A gangster to Bada-bing!
An IP to ping! (sorry)
A theory to string.
A chav to bling.
A Charles to king.
A neck to wring
A wrap to cling.
a tigger to spring
A ka to ching.
Some powder to zing.
A Super Bowl RING!
A buffalo to wing.
*Go AFC*
A dynasty to Ming.
A g-spot to ting.
*tingles*
*JINGLES*
Pringles®
*munch munch*
Dat skwerl has bling.
Your mom’s tingler ring?
It’s a Troll thing. ^
It’s an All Night Thing…
It’s an alright thing.
It’s an IP ping.
Identical pun found, J2800 disconnecting…
A beer to drink?
A tattoo to ink?
A gal to the brink?
A potato to the stink?
A finger to the pink
A glass eye to wink.
A knot to kink.
A time to think.
a marble to ker-plink
A felon to en-klink.
A glayvin to frink.
A vixen to link.
A weasel to mink.
A meme to groupthink?
A young boy to twink.
A climax to sync.
a company to Inc.
A patient to shrink.
A life to live
A theory to think.
A Skwerll to prink.
A site to link.
A print to ink?
@Alamasy: Fail.
DAMMIT YOU GUYS! Why does someone always break the combo before I have a chance to contribute?
Because you’re more than one year late?
He needed time to think.
It’s gotta be the blog’s longest slink.
I have you.
In Soviet Russia… Dreams have -you-
…right where I want you…
Careful. . . claptrap!
*artfully dodges*
.
Mmm, local knowledge – appreciated
*twists*
*TwixTs*
Wow, the pretzel. Very impressive!
Mmmm…pretzel.
Could I have some…more?
In soviet russia, pretzel has YOU!!
*Salts.*
*stuffs*
*gags*
*blindfolds*
*slurps*
*unzips pants*
accidenty weiner?
you misspelled “tiny”
Erm LOL at that
God. I know it’s wrong…but I just can’t help thinking ‘wishbone’.
Do you wish a bone?
That better be a hypothetical question.
It is ok if it was a rhetorical question?
I do not see what the difference would be… you already have it most of the time.
That is one of the many things I love about you – your generosity.
And I love the fact you keep calling it “generosity” when you know I am your slave.
Your feelings are important to me; also, I want you to love your work.
I suspected my feelings were important for you… otherwise you won’t keep exciting them.
I can’t seem to help it. Every time I clean the house naked, it seems to excite you.
Maybe it would help if you covered yourself a little with a garter belt and silk gloves.
I’m having trouble getting the garter on. Would you slide it higher up the inside of my thigh for me, please? Um, with your teeth.
Does your husband know you talk dirty to a spanish catdog on the internet?
In Failland, Lou is the only husband I know of.
That is what I call “a rhetorical question”. May I add some lubrication with my tongue if needed?
Once you get that high up on my leg, I believe it is customary to switch to Spanish.
Por favor, haz lo que quieres, amor mio.
Loz, her husband sent her the link and said “you should check out the catdog on there. If I ever die, I want you to be with him. The kids will have a dad and a pet rolled up into one.” Now what he didn’t expect was for her to start plotting his early demise.
Ah well, she’s better off anyway. He was fat and balding.
No, no. That head’s meant to be bald.
If it were hairy, he’d be a potter.
Ummm. Loufail and Mookye. WTF. That is all.
Somebody used her as a wishbone?
Ahem…’Somebodies’. Though, I err…wouldn’t know.
Shotgun top half.
Pwned
No, no. It’s just a wide grave…something about rigor mortis and getting her knees together…
Oh damn ><
Oh *snap*
Oh *crunch*
*bursts through a brick wall* Oh Yeah!!! ………….. I think I broke something…
Oh *munch*
oh *carpet*
Oh *rug*
Oh *cup*
Oh *two girls*
Oh *foursome*
Which brings us back to the Eiffel Tower.
I hope you’re more resilliant than fragile Paris.
We’re going to need a bigger cup! 0.0
Mookie has two big jugs and a mug apparently.
A small mug, remember?
And a spout, with a strange sort of moustache.
Her mug runneth over?
Lou is Spanish afterall.
*gulps from the mug*
*braces the tower*
*high fives*
*scootches*
I wonder if Lohan and Lindsay were nearby.
Actually they are. Right behind the Photographer. (Thats to the left of Britney)
That’s a real win!
Little did she know, it was to be the last time she would visit the Olsen twins…
Let’s do a reverse story!
…As Paris made her way towards the Canadian snow bar in front of her…
This is a grave situation.
She’s been the victim of some plot.
She’d been coffin pretty badly in the week before she died.
But I heard she loved stiffs, so she’s probably pretty happy.
Teenaged boys everywhere are bury sad, of corpse.
There is no one left to contumulate her legacy.
That’s the rotten truth.
We should undertaker to keep this legacy going…so it doesn’t decay, you know?
The task will be rigorous.
Then we should depart now, before it expires.
The outcome of this endeavor remains to be seen.
You cadaver remains, I want them!
R.S.V.P. R.I.P.
I’m flesh out of ideas.
I’m worried she’d become a fashion zombie.
(Holy mongoose in a cupcake, a talking cheesecake!)
Cheesecake… *drools*
A crumb of cheesecake, a fragment of an underdone potato. There’s more of gravy than of grave about you, whatever you are!
I hear she died with a silver spoon in her ass-
uming the story was reported accurately.
*loves Marius for that reference*
“Paris Hilton died today when her latest breast augmentation proved to be too heavy for her body, and tore her in half… The funerals have been set for next week. Film at 11… or you can just YouTube it now…”
Roffle! She has this new TV show here in the UK called ‘Paris Hilton’s British Best Friend’. I caught some of it last night and have never wanted to slap someone so much.
From the creators of “The Simple Life” comes Paris Hilton’s new hit “The Complicated Death”
“Follow this charming, charismatic party girl as she traverses the boundary between life and death, and overcomes more than a few hiccups along the way!”
Coming up next on EXTRA: Paris Hilton, one of the few who can make Jesus cry and Satan cringe.
I don’t want to slap her, I want to slap the “contestants” that want to be her best friend. They are even more sickening than she is.
I can’t get past her really bad nose job. The tip is practically in her mouth.
But her mother has the same nose, scarily enough.
Same surgeon.
Think they got a discount for doing both?
Oh. There were two surgeons?
The tip was in her mouth in that sex tape.
Along with the shaft, both balls, his taint and a section of his anus.
Her nose has balls?
It’s a well known rest stop for men.
Some days it’s like a parking lot.
Other days it’s a truck stop.
The American version was funny, she treated the candidates like crap just to see who would/could hang and who would tell her off.
This made my day! Of course, I might be just dreaming though.
p.s. She might be prettier dead
Sucks to be Hilton Paris
You may suck or beg, I however, have no desire to be Hilt On Paris.
On a random note, which seems appropriate for this fail. I think DW finally succeeded in frying Skwerlly Bob to a crisp.
When I saw these in the shop all I could think was ‘WTF?’.
Clicky the link. . .
Mmmm, cajun squirrel. Do I detect a slight Thin Mint aftertaste?
I did…! But skwerls must have eleventy-two lives or something because he keeps coming back.
S.B.!
*gulp!*
No NO! Fear not!
I’m still here my sweet sweet fuzzy tailed sexy darling!
Interestingly enough, I live in Louisiana, the home of Cajuns and thus Cajun Squirrels. However, I live well protected in the middle of a college campus in an ancient Legacy Oak. My lovely Tree House was designed jointly by the Biology, Interior Design and Engineering Departments. I have my own vehicle and parking spot, a reserved seat at all sporting and artistic events.
Well, S.B., you’re some catch!
But you didn’t mention your business premises.
Whereabouts is your Detective Agency?
And the first grave looks like a video tape. Awesome.
“And the first grave looks like a video tape.”
Good catch! A clever observation — probably the first one on this thread, IMO.
Is that a poor attempt at a snarky comment? You need more practice. There should be more venom in your words. Try not to be so nice and never qualify it with an IMO. It just detracts from the impact because your opinion probably doesn’t matter to anyone.
So THOSE are the lessons I can give! DW has the Humo(u)r 101, Loz the Sarcasm 101, and I’ll teach Snark!
Yup, you’re good at it. That’s a great idea! How about we all take Snark Lesson from you and then we can all be irritatingly bitter at everyone?”
SNARK noun
1. Biting, cruel humor or wit, commonly used to verbally attack someone or something.
*sigh*
*washes hands of skwerl*
Mookie and I can teach Smut 101 if you would like.
Erm…no. You guys get to teach the advanced class.
If I were a fat kid, you would be my chocolate cake!
Sweet love.
That’s preferable to muskrat love.
Though secondary to a kinky shove.
And even lower than a lubed glove.
So this proves that VHS is finally dead.
DVD killed the video star?
In my mind and in my car, yes.
Earworm. Well, we can’t rewind…we’ve gone to far.
*mind buggles*
‘o’ ^^
Did they close the lid?
*is not asking if he has a tidy cat*
Good DrB, you have taken a fresh step towards self control.
*self controls*
*Snickers*
*checking her cat is still tidy…*
*…yup*
I’d be happy to have such a tidy cat on my lap for some stroking, if you like.
Just as soon as I get Detective Skwerlly’s
handcuffs undone… I’ve been
locked to this hammock all night…
….but why would wish to escape my love?
Bob, it’s not love when you have to keep them immobilized. I’m sorry to be the one to tell you.
The handcuffs are chafing, and,
frankly, I don’t think you made best
use of the situation.
But I’ll hang around, the hat’s really
working for me…
PHOTOSHOPPED!
THE PIXELS, LOOK!
Yeah that blade of grass was added to the picture!
I swear to you all, not photoshopped!
Actual cemetery in Calgary Alberta CANADA
Queen’s Park in NW Calgary
Yeah I know. They actually both said “Loz”.
Huh? Sounds like gibberish to me.
Loz, you spelt *masturbates* wrong
first
Great FAIL!
Great FAIL!
You misspelled “mutilate”.
*brandishes a crisp A4 (Letter) sheet*
.
Have you seen this done with paper cuts before?
If I’m honest, I reckon an A5 should do it…
Let’s do this thing. *extends FX’s pimple a fraction with tweezers* This is a tough gig…can you work with that little?
I think it was just a female body builder anyhow.
Why does she need two graves? One for her bodie, the other one for what? her ass? her dog?
Paris is speaking to us from the grave. Spooky.
Daahhhhhhh.
More than you or I could count, I think.
hermaphrohilton
I saw this just now (clicky my name)…
IMPOSTERS! we must kill them ALL!
*grabs pitchfork, torch, bukkit, and innuendo machine*
Come on! we must go and destroy them!!!
*takes Failblog accoutrements away*
Live and let live. They have a purpose…they make us look absurdly superior by example.
You have much to learn, young one.
Ah yes, Sensei, i see the truth of it all now…. If you follwed that link and read the comments, you would have seen that there is one very wise in the ways of Fail, as he recommends that every body should go and look at failblog…. he is very wise…. but not as wise as you Sensei.
*puts hands together at chest*
*bows*
*walks back to compound to meditate*
*meditates on he has just learned*
*revelation hits him in the face. Hard*
Ouch.
I actually agree w/ Strategist. Let’s toss ‘em into the fail bog.
Her vag is being used as a mausoleum.
I thought it was being used as a mass grave.
On second thought, it might be the new Long Beach Hilton.
Whoa Nellie!
Need I say more?
This is one of the best images on the site. It has to be a setup through. What is the deal with comments as well, there are people that fight over getting the first comment?
Only the retards get in line to be first and then the others make it unequivocally clear that they are retarded for wanting to be first and/or stating as much.
Comments were tl:dr, but I noticed some pissed-officy in the community… What’s up?
LEAVE PARIS HILTON ALOOOOONE… or not x]
*sigh* Is it wrong that I actually thought “I wish.” When I saw this?
Not really. I did too.
*sigh* Is it wrong that I thought “I wish” when I saw your name?
I was so pissed at my roommate I took a shit between his mattress and box spring. I then put the mattress back on top and put the sheets back on the bed and placed a little piece of shit on top of his pillow. He will clean up the shit on the pillow but things will still stink. This way it will take him a while to figure out where the stink is coming from.
I find your use of the word “pissed” to be ironic.
Wouldn’t that suck if your roommate watched you type that?
I think you have faeces fetish….that’s disturbing. But the real question here is, How do you feel about you mother?
Well, it’s about time someone put her out of my misery. There should be a prerequisite to intelligence to retain your life after a certain age.
What do people have against Paris? She’s such old news now…
Actually those are the tombs of both her brain and her dignity xD
THAT LOOKS PHOTOSHOPPED. YOU CAN TELL BY THE PIXELS AND I’VE SEEN A FEW SHOPS IN MY TIME.
Actual Photo, dude!
Queen’s Park Cemetery, Calgary Alberta, CANADA
…..and turn yer caps off…..
WTF? These comments suck ass.
FINALLY!!!!
PRAISE DA LORD
DING DONG THE BIAAAATCH IS DEAD! NASTY OLE SKANK IS DEAD!
Well, looks like they need a grave for Paris, and another for her over-inflated, narcsistic ego…
the two gravestones are bc they buried her genital warts and the rest of her body seperately
Apparently something went wrong at a half off sale
can ppl just comment about the picture and not about the first comment -.-
Just two more years and she will be drunken to death
You have to remove the head from the body or she won’t die. Hence the two graves.
FINALLy!!!!!! her dog iz free
haha
This is a SUPER win!!!
what a weird placment
This is good news.
Is that one for each Boob?
Last!
:0 ……………
Buahahaha! Last Fail!
will be waiting for this day to come
leave her alone!