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Cheezburger Network Blog
here’s a real link to the real fail. click the name!
Rick Astley? He’s just a big black man trapped in a little white man’s body. What’s the problem?
Actually i thought it was a win
lol you got rickrolled
hey i like the song
OMFG!
NOT ME, even my lil’ Skwerlly brain is smart
enuff to read the link before I click anything.
*scampers off looking for cookies*
*has enough cookies to share, ironically.* Bought four boxes of Thin Mints today.
Ooooh! I’m having lunch with Evervescent!
*smiles* I haven’t even finished the first box yet… I don’t know why I bought freakin’… four…
because i can finish whats left
Not if I get there first!:D
*runs for the boxes*
*giggles and chases after* MINE!
*masturbates all over the boxes*
Still want ‘em?
A better question would be…why didn’t you buy 5?
You bet. No freebies in this Inn.
*Hears Evervescent saying “supposing my buddies don’t find my stash and OMNOMNOM them all.”
*looks up from OMNOMNOM’ing*
*runs*
*climaxes*
Put about 5 of the cookies (crushed up a little) in a blender with some vanilla ice cream and a dash of milk. It’s the best milkshake you’ll ever eat!!
Eat a milkshake?
Well. . . her milkshake brings all the boys to the yard. . .
.
*Is sorry.*
I was waiting for someone to say that
That he’s sorry? Odd thing to be waiting for.
FAIL BOG is Now Open!
Please read the notice:
http://failblog.org/2009/01/30/paradoxical-fail/#comment-265076
Can’t you see that I’m sorryyyy
for each mistake I made?
Can’t you see I’ve changed, dear?
Can’t you see that I’ve paid?
Yeah. Eat a milkshake. You’ve never had one of those really thick ones, have you? You’re so deprived. Come visit me and I’ll open your eyes to a whole new world of fattening food.
Is velvet also fluffy?
I clearly have a lot to learn.
A little. I’m a size 8 but should be a 6 or a 4. I have reverse anorexia. I look in the mirror and think I’m still a size 2. HAHAHA!
I like full figured women. You know, asthetically speaking anyway. Not like grossly obese, but not like getting stabbed by her ribs and hips.
*crosses Evervescent off the list of targets*
? Should I be honored? What type of target are you referring to?
Lets just say that you bought your brake lines some time.
Awww… in that case, yes, I am honored ^^;
*cowers*
No no, nothing sinister. I am not a full figured woman. I can barely fill out the figure I have so I am off the list.
To share with the smartest Skwerl in the entire universe?
Bob, you’re the only skwerl in the entire universe. The other ones all know how to spell squirrel. : )
Just kidding! Even if you weren’t the smartest, you could certainly claim best fashion sense.
:love:
*Munches Thin Mints®*
Wait…you bought four today and you “haven’t finished one”. Do you expect to finish a box in one day? Just curious, not judging.
*Munches Thin Mints®*
Just one box a day!
Why that’s like at a snail’s pace!
*Spies Girl Scouts pulling a wagon of COOKIES down sidewalk*
*AMBUSHES*
*Munches Thin Mints®*
Actually, yes. I can. I’m a pig, but I’m in the Army so I work out like every day. I can eat whatever I want ^^
That last comment didn’t nest like I supposed it would. It was @Ryannon. And by the way, HILARIOUS name-link.
You eat fatty cakes??? My son is in the Army as is my ex.
Fatty Cakes or Pogie bait… either way, lol. I have a nice metabolism I think. I still run the two miles in 12:45.
Pfft get back to me when you can do it under 12.
Subliminal girl scout messages…
please shut down your pc before clicking
please think before posting
please listen before talking
please flush before pooping
warning: for safety concerns, always close your mouth before talking.
LOL
….Scalp, Scalp, let it all out, these are the things i can do without, tomahawk, tomahawk, i’m talking to you….
Please burn before reading.
Please park before driving.
Please rationalize before thinking about it
Please inhale before passing it to Clinton.
Please ejaculate before entering.
Facial?
No, just premature.
awwwww Loz, and I always aim to please!
Well then aim a little to the left to compensate for that unsightly bend!
GASP!
*walks a way dejected*
Loz has found a new playtoy
*cries*
*touches the skwerl’s penis to make him feel better*
no, better click, shut down and then open the window and click and throw away.
OVER USED! Its not even funny anymore
I’ve always wanted to do that someday. You beat me to it.
You took my ideeaaa!!!”Removes”
I never even got a chance!!!
RickRoll’d! Hellz yeah!
Please close your eyes before reading
no, the sign says read before you open the lid.
Mmm.. Paradox Win
But, what if you open the lid before closing? Then what happens?
Somewhere, a cat dies.
42
The sense of life?
Maybe the scents of the universe?
Or the “sents” of everything?
42 cents in the universe?
Yes, universal tax collection is at an all time low.
oh, here comes Rambo again. Is 42 all you can? I would have expected at least 78
Rambo? I thought that was Bruce Lee.
Rambum? I thought that was Freddy Mercury.
You acciddenty your brain.
Okay, that’s a weird comment considering it’s my lucky number and I posted this image.
i love cats.
Only if they open the lid
My cat always remembers to put the lid down.
You have a very tidy cat, apparently.
i wish mine was like hers
Everyone says that…
It’s because the tidy ones like firm stroking.
Oh my.
Bears and tigers and lions.
Yes, crass. Even by my sub-standards. My apols plussingaswhich.
.
*leaves for a bday party*
Crass? No way. Titillating? Perhaps.
It’s just a matter of cat’s pride.
Agreed. It’s betty if kitty doesn’t litter.
It’s also better!
But in the case of Schrödinger’s cat, you have no way to know if the cat died before opening the lid or as a result of opening the lid.
But if you close the lid before opening, did you save the cat before you killed it? And more importantly…if a dead cat dies without putting the lid down, will his wife still yell?
Ricky Schrödinger?
then you cannot close, and then the next cannot open before closing.
safety first
*crack*
ow! my finger!
*crack*
Oh my, Whitney.
*crack*
Oh my, Amy.
*crack*
Oh my, forgot the reference!
*smack* Oh, sigh, you guys!
What is that thing, anyways? It looks like it’s in a video rental store.
Or a bookstore?
no, it is the lid of the lid.
and the lid of the lad that laid
that laid the lid
Or a theater?
it is a lidding store
So liddel that we know…
Chuck Liddell what he knows
Chocolate Elvis knows
Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory knows
Chuck Norris knows
Chuck Norris knows nothing. I would pit Chuck Zito against him anytime.
Ground Chuck!
Woodchuck!
no, this is no fail. it is pure logic, and sadly not everyone has it. If it was written “always open lid before opening”, then it would be fail…
But, please, always behave before behaving before writing here before writing here.
At least it’s not as obvious looking as our claymores… “WARNING: EXPLODING SIDE TOWARD ENEMY.”
Thank GOD it says that on the mine. I can’t imagine what catastrophe must have occured that resulted on that label being printed.
… and our grenades say “Throw grenade, not pin.” Dead serious, not even making that up. I’d have loved to get a snap of the fail that resulted in that label… Just like in the cartoons, man.
Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo.
That’s that one that’s TECHNICALLY a complete sentence? Could you explain it for me though?
Buffalo buffalo
(bison from Buffalo)
buffalo
(bully)
Buffalo buffalo
(other bison from Buffalo)
Buffalo buffalo buffalo.
(that are bullied by other bison from Buffalo.)
Oh awesome. I guess it works. Hahaha!
buffalo soldier, fighting in a war for america
*puff puff pass*
*ejaculates*
*enters*
*puff puff pass*
…rofl. I love the rolling jokes here…
Tutanka.
Tatanka.
To close the lid, it must first be open. Unless it was open already, one would have to open the lid before opening.
I always close the lid.
Thank God. You could lose an intestine if you didn’t.
god, then i’d only have two
…and a bag for a loo…
Yes, but you’re supposed to close it after you go, sweets.
^^ That’s what my wife says anyway. I forget sometimes. I hear about it in the middle of the night T_T
wrong choice of words Evervescent
wrong choice of words
As well you should, toilet it pass unnoticed would be a waste.
Hahahahahahaha…
You made me lol at work, Marius. My NCO is like “WTF ARE YOU DOING OVER THERE!?”
… ._.;
You aren’t in N.C. working in “Intelligence” are you?
No. Fort Hood Texas working as a Medic, why?
I have an owie right here *points* Can you fix it?
*is flushturd*
One day, I got up in the middle of the night to piss and forgot to put the seat back down, and she went after me and fell in, so she went to the bed and flicked the ass-water on my face.
I cried. For a long time. And curled up in the fetal position because of all the germs ;-;
Did you say fecal position?
ewwwwwwwwwwwwwWAH!
Lol…I love how you guys keep trying to get a pun-run going and Ev keeps derailing it. It’s loo-nacy!
He just seats ‘em right in there – it’s infuriating!
It’s terrible having your train of thought throne of the track!
Urinal ot of trouble when that happens.
…
I get it now. Sorry, I tend to type before thinking about the puns.
… “I’M AN ASTRONAUT *drool*”
*Chuckles.*
That’s nasty.
You’re a bloke, hey.
Wha?
He’s asking if you have a twig and berries, male dangly bits, little elvis and the backup singers, big ed and the twins…you know, a guy as opposed to a girl.
Some people would pay good money for that kind of treatment. I heard someone say that they had a friend who knew someone who heard something like that once. Or something.
*sidles away*
*rappels down from the ROFLcopter*
*SQUEEEEEZES the moomin!*
*pushes button on belt and zips back up*
*flies away going SOI SOI SOI*
That’s some seriously dirty money.
It’s not dirty money, they launder it first.
*spots you sidling*
I’d almost managed to repress the memory of that
…interesting… anecdote. Almost.
If I have to close the lid before opening it,
then I should also open the lid before closing it.
BUT if the lid is halfway what should I do then?
I hate this job. I have to think. I have to do things.
Should I do anything before thinking about it or
should I think about it before I doing anything?
I need a break. Is my paycheck ready yet?
Feel better!
You are my Bestest Friend For Forever!
*munches Thin Mints*
Isn’t chocolate poisonous to skwerls?
Shhhhhh!
*Munches Thin Mints®*
No it’s not poisonous! *dials 911 frantically* I should know!
No it isn’t… >_> *checks on the squirrels in the back yard just in case* D:!
Just remember Skwerlly, if it’s a box with a lid….
IT’S A TRAP!!!
Thin Mints® are never a trap!
They are however, an amazingly addictive concoction of Minty Flavored OxyContin®, Heroin, Crack and Nicotine covered in Chocolate Delight.
*Munches Thin Mints®*
In Russia, close opens you!
how many russians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
in soviet russia, lightbulb screw you!
Hahaha!
happy friday you obese turd burglars. don’t accidentally call 911 on yourselves while burglarizing turds tonight.
You FAIL a being a “Computer”
*Unplugs and Throws “I’m a Computer” into the depths of FAIL BOG*
Splork! Glop! Blubble Blubble! Ploooot! Flarppzzt! Gzzzzzp!
*Munches Thin Mints while Watching “I’m a Computer” sink*
[Note: FAIL BOG is now Open For Business!
Methane Bio-Gas created from the decaying Trolls is
used to run FAIL Blog and Engrish Funny 24 Hrs a Day.
We have unlimited space and can absorb any size
or amount of Trolls / Idiots / Fools / Spammers !!
No Reservation Needed! Just Toss them in at Will.
(Will is the Bog Keeper. Say “Hi” to him occasionally
and he will may you the Troll’s possessions of value).
*waves* Hi Will!
:OOPS: OOPS! I accidenty the Action Verb!
You figure it out! *Munches Thin Mints*
Damn! Look, Mr. Cuddles!
You being our initial customer and all Will has given you a voucher good a muted Troll Slave of your choice!
Do drop back soon and make your selection when we have a few to choose from.
Yay! I’ve never won anything before!
Now by Slave, can I accidenty use them as a Sex Slave if I were into that kind of stuff?
Once you strap them to your bed and slather grape jelly on them it ’s all up to you as long as the web cam is on and 10% of the revenue is returned to FAIL BOG to buy rocks to weigh down the Bloated Trolls and Pr0n for Will.
LOL AWESOME. … *cowers* Don’t throw me in D:
Bog SMELL BAD! Rocks my friends.
I smell nothing! The air is sweet and fragrant, and none may pass with out my permission!
I love that movie. “May I have your permission then?” “… hmm… well, sure, I suppose.”
Should you not be hibernating about now?
*throws skwerlly bob in there, too*
Just kidding. Skwerrly Bob, I would never do that.
correct definition of paradoxical fail
Justification fail.
NO! SNAKE! You’ve created a time paradox!
snake?
SNAKE?!
SNAAAAAAAKKKKEEE!!!!!
Mushroom mushroom!
Stop badgering poor wolfgang. Sheesh.
Snake.
Yo Snake!!!
SSNNNAAAAAAAKKKKKKEEEEEEEEE!!!!
STFU!!!
Sorry G I thought Snake was dead
Didn’ even break a sweat
Shit I killed a dog by sweating…
Shit I didn’t add a t :O Im gonna get flamed
This is not a fail. When you return a video, you put it inside the lid (which holds the video). When you close the lid, it’s supposed to drop the video into a bucket inside the store. Therefore, if the lid was not closed by the person before you, then for safety you should CLOSE the lid before OPENING it again.
GET IT???
You guys=Understanding FAIL.
Ben = fun fail.
He shouldnt be allowed to use the username Ben since Ben is the name signed to the loveletter to all us Failbloggers.
To the FAIL BOG with him!
I have strong arms. May I do the honors of the throwing?
Yes, throw him in, Will is on a break looking at Pr0n no doubt. If he floats use one of those big rocks.
What’s this ‘video’ you speak of?
What Is With Those Capitals?
They suck every year at the end of the NHL season. That’s why most fans call them the Crapitals.
Kind of like the Dolphins of Hockey?
Exactly, Ryannon. The Caps are the only team in history to get beat 4-0 in the Stanley Cup playoffs.
HOCKEY!_)#)(*_@*)#)(@*#_@) I love hockey! Hockey is the greatest sport on the planet. *masturbates to thoughts of several old school Panthers*
Hey, can I watch?
Hey now, the Dolphins were pretty good this year. Sure they lost in the playoffs, but after going 1-15 a 11-5 season is damn impressive. And if memory serves, they won the last several regular season games to get into the playoffs as the AFC east champs. So to say they sucked at the end of the season would be pretty far off.
Nothing to do with hockey, but I just read that Bill Frindall has died.
A sad day for cricket.
They suck period. I am a Floridian by birth, support any other team from Florida, hate the Dolphins. They could win the superbowl and still suck in my mind. pffffft pfthooey
Those first three words, Ry. You know I’m a pretty casual ’round the cycle kinda guy, and happy to learn…but…I just couldn’t…I don’t think…
.
Ok, now I’m curious…
It’s funny because it’s a paradox.
your body fits me like a glove
So make sure you close the lid, even if its already closed, that way youll be extra safe! lol
i am shiva, god of closed lids. please open me, before you close yourself
Anpu solved this riddle years ago, but he won’t tell anyone the answer. He says you have to figure it out on your own.
Failblog FAIL!
No pics show up for me
LOL, makes perfect sense to me it does!
RT
http://www.internet-privacy.us.tc
This one made me stare off into space and think.
All this time i’ve been opening before closing… i could of been killed. no more spring snakes to the eyes for me!
For safety always fail before fail xD
It makes sense considering the device in question is a paint mixer.
Should say “For safety, always close paint pail lid before opening mixer” though to make it less paraxodical.
In this photo released by China’s Xinhua News Agency, a collapsed 60-meter-long (197 feet) section of Jintang Bridge falls onto a cargo ship after an accident near the eastern seaport of Ningbo, of east China’s Zhejiang Province on Thursday, March 27, 2008. Four crew members remain missing, according to Chin
paradoxes are SO much fun. XD
Truthfully, this would be more an “obvious fail”, seeing as how you can’t open something without having it closed first.
exactly, this is not even a paradox its completly logical, to the point of being too obviuous. and this post is a “fail blog fail”
… wut?
I agree with drek
Y’know, that actually makes sense. The lid would have to be closed before you can open it.
You are all stupid. This isn’t a paradox. It’s a contradiction. A paradox is something that only seems illogical but isn’t.
FAIL BLOG FAIL