Submitted by Larry D
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» 245 Failures in Communication
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What is the sound of one tire stripped from a car?
*inserts “being” *
*swaps “from” for “off” *
*goes to have a rest*
lol Your post is a triple fail! :p
*sigh*
That was supposed to nest way up there
*sigh*
That was supposed to nest way up there
And now it did ???? What is happening?
Must just be an echo.
Or some kinda time-loop.
Oh great [i]another[/i] time loop.
*Jumps to the left*
*takes a step to the right*
Ding-a-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling!
Boo-ba-doo-ba-doop!
Boo-ba-doo-ba-doop!
Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring
Banana phone
Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring
Banana phone
I’ve got this feeling, so appealing,
for us to get together and sing. Sing!
Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring banana phone
Ding dong ding dong ding dong ding donana phone
It grows in bunches, I’ve got my hunches,
It’s the best! Beats the rest!
Cellular, modular, interactivodular!
Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring banana phone
Boop-boo-ba-doo-ba-doop!
Ping pong ping pong ping pong ping panana phone
It’s no baloney, it ain’t a p(h)ony
My cellular bananular phone!
Don’t need quarters, don’t need dimes,
to call a friend of mine!
Don’t need computer or TV,
to have a real good time!
I’ll call for pizza. I’ll call my cat.
I’ll call the white house, have a chat!
I’ll place a call around the world, operator get me Beijing-jing-jing-jing!
(Soprano Sax Solo)
Yeah!
Play that thing!
(Piano Solo)
Whooo Hooo!
Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring
Banana phone
Boop-boo-ba-doo-ba-doop
Ying yang ying yang ying yang ying yonana phone
It’s a real live mama and papa phone,
a brother and sister and a dogaphone,
a grandpa phone and a grammophone too! Oh yeah!
My cellular, bananular phone!
Banana phone, ring ring ring!
(It’s a phone with a peel!)
Banana phone, ring ring ring!
(Now you can have your phone and eat it too!)
Banana phone, ring ring ring!
(This song drives me bananas!)
Banana phone, ring ring ring!
Boo-ba-doo-ba-doop-doop-doop!
Holy shit!
Not so holy but otherwise, yes.
What does a palm tree have to do with unnatural, corporeal releations?
WTF? I’m confused….
You are one sick little man
*puts hands on hips*
*bends knees in time*
*driven insane by pelvic thrust*
*is warped*
*gets stupid song stuck in head*
Moar n3st pl0x..
Megaphone:
“Do the criss-cross”
…2 hours later/2 seconds later/1second earlier/ 19:03:34:17 27th August 1987
“Do the criss-cross
wow wow!
OH NOES! A moebius!!! *space-time collapses and the universe implodes*
That sounds even worse than Global Warming, or Climate Change, …or whatever the heck they renamed it.
*swaps “clothes” for “tire”, and “stripper” for “car”*
PPPPTHOONK!
Pretty impressive on the dispatcher’s part.
Hell yeah. This made my day.
They obviously accidenty the phone
Are you Brazilian?
nope, just reptillian
How many is a Brazillion?
Five bucks, same as in town.
All of them.
They accidenty the phone.
They accidenty the phone
obviously
I am pretty sure, due to my incredible deductive logic reasoning skills, that the one on the right, rolling his eyes, is the one who made the call. He looks like he regrets something more than the others do.
I can’t see your post. Could you submit it again?
Think it was something about a phone…?
Think it was something about a phone…?
Yup, echo-y round here today.
…Or haunted…
if you were a ghost, would you hang out on the internet making echoes? I wouldn’t. I would haunt…hmm.
I guess I have some time to think about it. In the mean time, I’m going to hang out here…
Maybe the ghost thinks the same way! AaaaGH! Ghosts!
*puts on aluminum foil hat*
Think it was something about an accident…?
I’m accidentally thinking about a something…?
*winking about something*
Is that the same as having something stuck in your eye?
Ouchy.
*synkyng ynto somethyng*
Something about drinking? Mine’s a flirtini.
*shakes*
We’re gonna need some serious
bukkit action here today.
I think you misspelled ShamWow
*wonders what a flirtini actually tastes like*
You don’t need a bukkit if you have a goldfish-bowl.
According to grannycatflap.
I don’t think I’ll be needing that goldfish-bowl.
*drinks from cup*
*masturbates*
Accidentily thinking?
Something about visiting the playboy mansion?
t-t-t-t-today juneya
how do you accidentally call 911?
Yeah, it doesn`t really seem humanly possible…
Girlfriend’s phone. Used to report him the previous night. I suspect it’s the last time he’ll borrow it without asking.
And yeah…looks like my days of “just lurking” are over.
9-9-9
My phone has a “SOS” option when you turn it on, before you input the PIN to unlock it, so if someone has to call 911 in an emergency on your phone it doesn’t need to be unlocked first.
It’s really quite easy. Most modern mobile phones (cell phones, for those who don’t know) will call emergency (in our case, 000) if one button is held down for three seconds, whether the phone is locked or not.
Learned this after Mum repeatedly rang emergency a few years back and couldn’t work out how …
….Been there and done that 1 before…..nothing really….
I live in the next town i remember this those retarts
first
first fail
Serious first fail
playful first fail
playful fist fail
painful fist fail
Shameful list. Failed.
I was too first, when I posted it. *pout*
Double Fail
*looks around*
hmm might as well get em before they start to breed.
*grabs a bat*
***THWACK***
lemme help you thar. *pulls out rusty burning weed cutters from nowhere*
check out what i scream while castrating…
“NOOOOOOOOOOOO BABIESSSS!!!!!”
Let me help *grabs flame sword from out of a door marked “nowhere”*
“BURN IN AN OVERPRICED CONDO IN HELL!!”
*taps Winguy on shoulder and holds up lightsaber* Try this instead *pulls out laserknife-thing* Or this…
*Takes both from Mystraven* Oh, why thank you!
I know. One of the guys was working undercover. It happens all the times in the movies.
At some point it’s less work to get a real job.
srsly.
one where you can spend all day on failblog?
I’ma hearin’ ya. When you’re good, you can get a real job done with less work
And as we all know there’s a surplus of jobs out there for the uneducated.
Far as I can tell, all jobs are for the uneducated.
Goddamn anti-intellectualism.
*grumbles*
The suspect confused his cell phone with a tire iron.
I’m surprised Americans spell “tyre” as “tire”.
Do you guys call Wires “Wyres” and do you get “Hyred” when you get a job?
No, that would be stupid.
Well the wire one makes a point against the “tyre” spelling, but “Hyred” doesn’t work. People in Britain (or, like me, Australia) still get tired after working hard…
Aaahhhhh cultural differences! *runs away and hides*
ies!
no because tire and tyre mean two different things
exactly my point!
What about gyre? You don’t spell that gire…
…and when the police arrived to arrest him he tried to fire it.
He forgot to take the safeti off though.
*takes safeti off*
*puts safeti back on*
Ys faylblog back to normal now?
Yt doesn’t look lyke yt iet…
Thank goodness Mikey. I took that safeti off really early in the Fail day…it was the smut safeti. Hope that explains it.
Anyone else think the cellphone belonged to the guy on the right?
The first two have this ‘we’re gonna give someone a blanket party’ look, that last guy has a ‘oh, crap’ kinda look…
Actually, it looks to me like the guy on the right is rolling his eyes and thinking, “I can’t believe one of those clowns dialed 911.”
Hah. Yeah, I was wondering if anyone else would point that out. He’s got that look on his face like ‘I can’t believe I did that…”
That’s what I was thinking. The guy on the right definitely has the “FCUK I’m a moran” face on.
I noticed it also. *puts in two cents* He looks like he feels dumb, but the other two look pissed. (That’s pissed as in angry, not drunk, all you limeys.)
..how does one “accidentally” call 911?
oooh! that’s gonna cost you. you accidentally a verb after “accidentally”. not sure thats allowed even in inverted comma’s, someone taze this klown
After accydentalli ys fyne. After accydenti ys unforgyvable.
Y agree wyth thys.
I think you spelt ‘thighs’ wrong.
Iou spelt ‘thyghs’ wyth a lysp.
And you accidentally FORGOT to put a VERB after an ADVERB.
In short, grammer fail.
I’m afraid to touch this. *pokes wtflol’s comment with a stick*
*grabs stick from Mookie and “accidentally” wtflol over the head repeatedly until arm gets tired*
you mean until arm gets tyred?
I’m not afraid, stand aside woman, this is my chance to shine!
Hey, wtflol, yeah you! It’s spelled GRAMMAR.
*scribbles over wtflol in red pen*
*dusts off hands*
(Oh, and grannycatflap was referencing a previous fail, douche.)
thank you Loz! *urinates on wftlol* you’re mine now beech
photo-privacy-fail
female-piracy-win *scratches parrot*
Oh great [i]another[/i] time loop.
Psst… use the pointy brackets. Commas are nice things, too.
Are don’t where you are from but out here in the West commas are not so nice. Oh sure, you’re used to the domesticated variety, but once they turn feral you had better watch you back. They start running in packs and turn downright vicious.
(“Are” is pirate talk for “I”. No really it is.)
Don’t WHAT?
“Where”. Don’t where. I thought that was pretty understandable. [g]
Pretty fashionable too *tongue in cheek*
Didn’t want to comment anyway. *sulks*
NOW YOU WORK! As if I needed any help looking stupid. CURSE YOU FAILBLOG!
*shakes fists at sky*
*pat pat SQUEEZE*
there there come sit on granny’s lap
and talk about the first thing that pops up.
That’s the type. Apparently there are more of those jobs out there than you might think…
i got you
its because we can work faster now, the marvels of modern technology and I do sexual favours for my boss
*syts down*
We must be related, Y ynheryted iour hat gene!
nice style, people say its outdated, but it sure gets me in there with some moomins
Iou, me and Mr Chyps are fliyng the flag for top-hats!
I prefer the goldfish-bowl look. It’s underrated.
Oooo I like a good sci-fi flick from time to time.
Sci-fi FLICK. You did type ‘flick’. Mis-read you there for a sec.
Goldfish-bowl maybe a little smudgy.
I’m pretty happy with your double ententre interp. Does your bowl usually steam-up this early?
it also comes in handy if you happen to hook up with someone with a shit fetish and they get off on taking a dump on your head while you wear the fish bowl, true story
plussingaswhich, any plans for the evening? *takes a laxative*
What kind of a granny ARE you??!!
Well, I am the boss and I am worn out with my own demands.
offer retracted along with grubby paw
*slaps grandson through the face then pulls him toward her ample bossom*
I prefer the goldfish-bowl look. It’s underrated.
Damn this echo!!
Now faylblog has decared yts love, yts testyng how much we love yt back. Damn iou and iour mynd games!
well I love it this much! *makes thrusting movements while staring intensely*
I just about roffled then, ’cause in the picture you painted in my mind you slammed into your wooden desk…sorry!
*roffles at that image*
You forgot to address me as “Grasshopper”, Sensei.
You are progressing, young Pantdropper.
Something unrelated and unnested.
I’m too moved today.
*Squeeze*
Faylblog ys weyrd todai.
Yt has gone all mushi.
And Y must confess that Y too have a tear in my eie.
Most uncomfortable.
*wypes awai tear* *hug*
*wypes awai tear* *hug*
Two wypes, two hugs and a smyle. I feel specyal.
Nice place?
Iou’re yn trouble! Y wayted all nyght yn a myxyng bowl to be cupcaked!
Oh no! A babi byrd! But where ys iour nest?
Avys wyll be most upset. Babi byrds are fallyng from the nests lyke snowflakes.
Good lord, how dyffycult ys yt really to swytch Y and I? … apparentli veri hard. >_>
GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
I am amoozed with your bar of scrolls. I shall have two.
I’m watching a Gerard Nordmann doco. Off topic, I know.
Ys yt good?
It’s on to the Secretum at the British Museum. Next time you visit…ask for Cupboard 55
That sounds lyke one of those questyons that wyll get me taken out the back and beaten by hoodlums yn a cobbled allei.
That, or expected to give a secret handshake that involves hands and feet and other serious (but more private) bodily parts….
Oh, you’ve been for a visit? I’m not sure if Mikey will come too.
You look at Mikey more than 5 seconds and he comes err wait what?
DrB has the ‘come hyther’ look down to a T.
female-piracy-win
*scratches parrot*
???
Blogmonster grrrrr…
*hopes it nests at: Nero 2:05 am*
that’s no parrot! *reluctantly gives Dr B coupon for vagiclean*
*gargles*
nmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Delycyous!
Another babi byrd.
Too frustratyng.
What ys happenyng?
Yt’s the end of the blog as we know yt…
And Y feel fyne…
lol i like the way the guy on the right is rolling his eys to the sky
I’m pretty happy with your double ententre interp. Does your bowl usually steam-up this early?
grannycatflap’s comment has spoilt the
steamy bowl imagary for me a little…
hahahaha! 1-800-SALAMI
Is this for real? Why can’t they spell ‘tyre’?
They accidenty the dictionary.
sexy
*bakes*
*pops out of wormhole*
Are all these comments styll fragmented? We could make up our own patchwork thread by connectyng them together.
Failblog: The only William S. Burroughs inspired website.
I bet it was the guy on the far right’s phone. He looks like he feels stupid. Yay Karma.
This goes to show you have to be smarter than the phone you carry so that you don’t butt dial the cops, that and you don’t butt dial your girlfriend while getting spanked by your other girlfriend.
heres the link to the 911 Call
http://www.wcbs880.com/topic/play_window.php?audioType=Episode&audioId=3262068
*wypes awai tear* *hug*
Aha! Y have found a thyrd wype & hug.
Y thynk thys ys for me.
Well, my cell phone does have a similar lock function. And sometimes it shows a 9 or even 91 by accident. I did not call anyone by now, but who knows.
So, what does someone taking the tires off a car sound like? The 911 dispatcher knew that sound through some guy’s pocket. Odd. Very odd.
I dunno, just a guess but maybe from the guys comments while removing it.
Stole my cheese for my Mexican Fiesta. But I think it was a misunderstanding. They heard it was “Nacho Cheese” and probably figured it wasn’t stealing since it wasn’t mine to begin with.
Cheese is the gift that keeps on giving
Now which one do you think caleld 911. My vote is the one on the far right, he has that look as if to say ‘I am so going to get beaten in prison’
It was more of a “hey, I know the drill” look.
http://www.wcbs880.com/Bumbling-Thieves-Call-911-on-Themselves/3571090
Best thing about this bust was my mom is the 2nd in command at that 911 center
I love the facial expression of the guy on the right, LOL
…
http://www.wcbs880.com/Bumbling-Thieves-Call-911-on-Themselves/3571090
My home phone number has the numbers 911 in consecutive order in it and someone once told me they accidentally dialed 911 while dialing it, its possible….if you are dialing fast and not paying attention
ButtDial FTW!
Lol at the guy on the right.
asfdasfdasfd SPAM
lookit the guy on the right. i wonder who was the one who dial 991?? hmmm?? XD
lol…. noobs
this is so stupid. that just shows that somewhere inside they were good people! that is a good thing! should of be a win for criminals!
Just so you know the ACCIDENTLY called themselves in. All they heard was the sound of stripping tyres…
Actually from their end it sounds kinda kinky..
Should be THEY
DAMMIT!!!
The best part is that I live in the town this happened in. Our newspaper barely touched it, but the national papers and TV were all over it. I guess we’re used to idiots here in Mtown.
I was so pissed at my roommate I took a shit between his mattress and box spring. I then put the mattress back on top and put the sheets back on the bed and placed a little piece of shit on top of his pillow. He will clean up the shit on the pillow but things will still stink. This way it will take him a while to figure out where the stink is coming from.
Are you mentally retarded?
That’s completely unrelated to the subject!
Figures, I live in Orange County, they are a bunch of idiots… only in the Hudson Valley.
I laughed on this one for hours. I bet the guy who dialed ended up getting his ass kicked.
Actual website here:
http://www.wcbs880.com/Bumbling-Thieves-Call-911-on-Themselves/3571090
I’m amazed the operator recognized the sound of tires be removed… over the phone, no less! I wonder if that’s part of their required training.
THEY’RE ALL BLACK
Love the way the third guy is rolling his eyes, like, ‘duh!’
Shirt they are dangerous gangsters!Don Carleone suxx..
It’s nice that the thieves apparently announced their location so the cops knew where to find them.
Oops. My fail: “According to Middletown Police, Moore utilized cellular phone pinpointing technology that Orange County had obtained for the Communications Center was able to trace the call to the area of Midland Ave Extension.”
Yeah, it must be nice.
Thanks guys, good info.
holy shit…lmaooo…no lie, i kno all 3 of dem..lmao
yeah, me too, they’re living just around the block of my home!
Not surprised. Typical.
maybe they wanted to tell on themselves.