Submitted by Luiz G
-
-
Copy & paste this:
Popular FAIL Videos
-
Recent Failures in Communications
Bear on Parenting Fails: Babies: the… Nicolas on School of Fail: Method Ac… Nicksonn on Failbook: She’s 14 Sto on WIN!: Mario Converse WIN Emetique Necrotica on Parenting Fails: Parenting WIN… Rageman on Failbook: Friend Zone App… Rageman on Failbook: Friend Zone App… Emetique Necrotica on FAIL Nation: Double Embarrassm… Rageman on Failbook: Friend Zone App… Emetique Necrotica on FAIL Nation: Double Embarrassm… 
Cheezburger Company Blog
Bridge fail or boat fail? Or fail boat?
failed photoshop
You can tell by counting the pixels… ;D
Oh SNAP!
CRACKLE!
POP!
mr. cuddles, I am making it my life mission to turn you to the dark side.
hahah! Believe me, many women have tried, but none have succeeded.
Oh really?
*hug*
The spelling of succeeded is why. pshaw
OMFG!
Fail Boat got hit by the Fail Bridge
*whispering…*
she is going to give you HERPES!
*begins shivering and shaking and has a seizure* Pickle!!! Surprise!!! Why!? Why!? WHY!? Ham! Ham! Ham! Ham! *shakes and shivers and cringes at at evry touch*
Hi Princess Nancy.
HI! *turns around and puts a sour face on* Ugh! I hate how royalty must keep up appearances…! *Turns back around with a pleasant smile* How are you doing today, love? It’s so good to see you…
Opa Lockaaaaaaaaaaa
Hialeahhhhhhhhhh
Opa Locka Hialeah is the place for me
Ugh, I hated that flea market.
Nancy, are you Cuban?
Cuban and puerto rican… >.< Worst mix… EVER! Wow, someone who actually knows the theme song! LOL, Very misleading song… they make it sound all fun and great… FAIL! It’s horrible! LOL
When I was 15, my cousin and I were there and suddenly I felt something weird on the back of my leg and turned around to find some old Cuban with his pecker in his hand. My cousin screamed and I reached down and grabbed it and twisted. My mom taught me well. And then of course, my mom really hurt him until the cops came. I love Hialeah motorcycle cops.
Put PQP into that!!
If you’re waiting for the POP with Ryannon, don’t waste your time.
*cough*potkettleblack*cough*
vent3.gameservers.com
4890
come by for some prank calls
Rickroll, or Goatse? I wonder…
Don’t leave out tubgirl.
Ok…just how strong IS that curiosity of yours, dilly? Are you willing to give up another of your lives for a clickie?
Oh, I NEVER click on anything I’m invited to. I need them to buy me three drinks and tell me my ass is perfect first.
Not photoshop. A quick Google search reveals the news story. It actually happened… and looks like it was definitely a boat fail.
http://news.xinhuanet.com/english/2008-03/27/content_7868845.htm
happened in ningbo china
I say bridge fail. The boat doesn’t look high enough to hit the bridge. Of course, that could be all those tons of metal weighing it down…
You know, I think it might be. Look at the back of the boat – that’s a pretty steep slope the bridge has caused.
Bridge it is, then.
.
Now, is that a person on the right side of the boat?!? Wearing an orange jacket and black pants? Dangling precariously over the nasty, choppy water?
That would be a really large person.
Bigfoot? The Yeti maybe?
No no no, it’s a renegade pixel that escaped.
he would only be 20 feet tall or so, what’s so crazy about that?
The whole bridge is a pixel, so are we, the world, the food we eat. We are all a part of the Higher Powers Photoshop project!
I knew there was something wrong with my life!
Embrace the pixelness… be at one with the universal pixel…
* Is pixelated.*
Are you seriously saying that the cake could be a pixel too?
it’s a lifeboat. not a fat guy. but I understand, I am a fat guy, and I get mistaken for lifeboats all the time..
Once, I was in a ship that tipped over and we were all thrown into the water. I tried grabbing onto this lifeboat, but it turned out to be a fat guy.
Do you hate greenpeace?
Oh! The bridge has pinned the lifeboat against the side of the boat. And you’re not fat; you’re Horizontally Challenged.
.
Just don’t wear orange and black and people won’t make that mistake again. And if you’re a Harley fan, well, you’ll have to make a big decision.
I thought “Horizontally Challenged” was Paris Hilton? Or is she “Vertically Challenged,” I can never remember…
Ok, I remember now. It was “vertically challenged,” because she has trouble staying vertical.
But what if I like wearing ‘orange and black people’?
That would be a lifeboat.
its a lifeboat, not a person.
id fail. haha!
I agree! This is not a fake,
instead its a FAILBOAT!
Notice how that flimsy looking antenna at the front of the boat wasn’t sheared off by the impact. If this is a fake, BRAVO! *claps for faker* If not, then that is one hell of an antenna. *claps for underappreciated communication equipment*
FAIL BOAT FOR THE WIN!!!!!!!
You’re insane you know.
The Bay Bridge was bored and lonely in the water day after day.
A ship came sailing along one day. The ship has a Bridge as well.
They made eye contact and fell in love as only can bridges do.
It wass a truly remarkable but doomed inter-object relationship.
Now are trying to elope and be together forever. This is a WIN.
You accidenty a “they” somewhere, methinks.
you *accidentally* missed a “missed” somewhere, methinks.
You still don’t get it, do you?
Destined to die a failblog virgin.
Insane she might be, but this lady surely knows how to accidenty a big pink anthropomorphic gay mountain lion.
Repeat my Matra, HAAAAAMMMMM!
*lies on the mat*
*repeats the kama sutra*
*takes pictures and masturbates*
oh làlà!
*takes pictures of Ry taking pictures and masturbating*
*masturbates*
*stares at a pitcher of kool aid*
*masturbates*
*watches Bob Troll masturbate as he slowly sinks into FAIL BOG*
*Munches Thin Mints®*
I wonder if anyone actually does masturbate when they type it on failblog. That’d be pretty funny. And weird.
Does anyone want to confess?
(Not you, Mookie, we all know.)
Sorry to break in here but, The image of a Skwerll sitting on the edge of a bog munching Thin Mints and watching a troll masturbate as he slowly sinks into said bog is killing me.
*Snort, snicker, LOL.*
No, I save that for IM.
Maybe you should save another bit for phone calls or webcam
Wow, fancy meeting you here… what are the odds?
One in a million, maybe?
Maybe we could do something to increase those odds…
*happily rubs bog water under arms*
You must be off your game Skwerl. It took you THIS long to figure out that I’m a troll…look at my name for Christ’s sake.
Are you female?
No, I knew right away, [not an idiot], but was giving you a chance to redeem yor unfortunate name.
*ties boulder to Bob Troll*
I must point out to snaggle that Oh la la is spelled with “accent grave” because it is not the adjective meaning “there” but the note as in do re mi fa sol la si…
so no accents ok?
thank you for your cooperation. an agent will be with you shortly.
*happily watches troll rubbing water on himself*
*masturbates*
May I ask when exactly the topic of talking about boats and bridges spontaneously combusted?
Oh wait, I see, it was when diana pointed out the fail in skwerll’s romantic story, and that comment had more fail in one sentence than skwerll had in an entire thin mint.
BOOM!
Drowning, “I accidently a whole coke bottle” is perfectly correct grammar in these parts of the internets.
Just don’t use that to try and prevent pregnancy. I think that might be mere urban legend.
If you accidently a urinal cake it might help tho.
Do I eat it, or insert it?
Yes please.
All over.
Twice.
Upside-down.
Yum now I want pineapples.
“However, this bottle was not marked poison, so Alice tasted it, and finding it very nice, (it had, in fact, a sort of mixed flavour of cherry-tart, custard, pine-apple, roast turkey, toffy, and hot buttered toast,) she very soon finished it off.”
Curiouser and curiouser!
The whole thing!
I can only get it halfway inn. What do I do?
Pull out slightly, try entering at a different angle.
That’s how I flipped my car yesterday.
Road rage to the extreme? Did you sit inside it and curse at it with the windows up too?
Well, what really made me mad was, when I got out of the car, I was really FAT!
Fold it over and go for a two-fer
Was that the first time you noticed the dark hairs on your upper lip too?
Wait, that was her mouth I was kissing? I thought she just shaved one side and left the other side for character and whimsy. No wonder there wasn’t the smell she warned me about.
Oh lordy, RyRy, you took that wayyyy too far. Hahaha.
Hahah! Ry, you just made me fall out of my chair…and everyone around me came to look…
Do you have some sort of nervous disorder?
I think he’s falling for you, Loz.
Oh god, not another one. I can’t keep picking up these medical bills.
*picks the medical bills up for Loz*
I’ll take care of these for you sweetie,
you just keep that lil’ man all happy.
*feeds medical bills to shredder*
Out of Thin Mints?
Good lord, you all just re-enacted The Miller’s Tale.
I never did care for Chaucer or however you spell his name. That was my LEAT favorite book from Lit. class. Worse was what has been done in Canterbury. They Disneyfied it. Seriously.
*cough* leaSt *cough*
Nah, she’s speaking 1347.
*KERSPORTCH*
Kersporks!!
*sporks?*
Use an action verb.
Cool! What a PERFECT Name for a Troll!
Throws “drowning” into FAIL BOG!
IT’s OUR GRAND OPENING! Free Bukkits!
*Munches Thin Mints®*
*Watches “drowning” fittingly sink*
I’ll wait for a few more drowning trolls before I choose which one I want as a slave.
Smart Idea! The afternoon trolls will be getting out of school soon and you can get a young one. They’re much more trainable I hear.
*Munches Thin Mints®*
I am the Smartest Skwerl in the Universe,
NOT an English Scholar…….. DAMMIT!
I can right how i pleeze an it up two yew to figger out!
This is a full sized keeboard an i has tiny lil’ handes.
*Munches Thin Mints®*
*placates Bob with skwerl-sized glass of milk to go with Thin Mints®*
It’s okay Bob. We accept you. Breathe.
*enjoys for a moment the image of a skwerl hopping around a keyboard typing like the kitten from the Aristocats playing piano*
Hey Bob, you got some chocolate in your whiskers.
I’ll guard your cookies while you go clean up!
*hopeful look.*
NO CHANCE!
*pulls a wet wipes from under hat*
*wipes*
*Munches Thin Mints®*
Don’t worry Skwerlly Bob, I’ll help protect your cookies. I don’t like Thin Mints®
that’s sacrilegous. not likeing Thin Mints. (registered trademark).
that’s sacrilegous. not liking* Thin Mints (registered trademark).
I think you accidenty a sacreligious.
I don’t like thin mints either. Does that mean that Mr. Cuddles and I go to the same church? Or does it mean that we avoid the same church?
*pleh*
Dragons don’t like thin mints.
It probably means you’re in the same mental institution.
Neither do birds. At least, not this one.
Now the chocolate covered peanut butter bits o’ heaven?
Different story.
Mmmm. Sacrilicious.
Mmmmm… chocolate covered sacreligion…
Lord, I know I shouldn’t eat Thee, but…
“Oh, but I’m so sweet and tasty!”
*sees that Bob already HAS cookies and has no need of the batch of acorn cookiws in bag*
Oh, well.
*sigh*
“cookies in bag”
Bukkit please?
*passes along the Bukkit*
Chin up, Avis! It’s early in the day, yet.
*kerSPLORTCH*
*mumbles* thanks.
COOKIES?!!
Avis? Where’d she go?
Bob, darling, don’t you think you’ve had enough cookies for one day?
Sorry, I’m cleaning my apartment. And by cleaning I mean sorting through all the crap I never use/wear anymore. My “pitch” pile is growing.
I can’t tell you how much I need to do that. I’ve put it off so long that now it has become a Herculean task.
Anyone want a pair of Franco Sarto size 9 boot/shoes? Hardly worn.They are the one thing I am having a difficult time pitching. No scuffs and the little sticker with the size IS STILL IN PERFECT CONDITION, on the bottom of the shoe.
Cut off two sizes and send them down, I love Franco Sarto.
Awww. One size too small for me.
Would that I could! There’s hardly any wear at all on the soles! They were my mothers, she wore them maybe twice, and then had to walk like three miles one day. She called me from a fast food joint requesting I bring her another pair of shoes. She told me to do with them whatever I wanted. They’ve been sitting in my closet for months. I wear a size 8. I just CAN’T throw them away!
And for the record, there are exactly zero goodwill type places within walking distance. And getting them to come here is like pulling teeth.
I wear a heel quite a bit but if I am going to do a lot of walking, I don’t even attempt heels. My ex-sister-in-law is 4’10 (makes me feel giant) and she wears heels everywhere, even to the mall, Disney, everywhere. And she never gets tired and her feet are always fine. Drives me crazy. But she is from Central America and she used to joke they are born with 5″ heels and dancing the palo de mayo.
Avis, you had two mothers?? And they were a pair of shoes?!
I do believe you know what I meant.
*grin*
*KERPSLORTCH*
This is getting to be a problem.
Why does it smell like Fluffy Mackerel Pudding in here??
I’m gonna need some air freshener here!
Me?! I NEVER know what anyone possibly means!
This is no a fail. The boat is OBVIOUSLY bringing the final piece to complete the bridge.
The boat is stealing the bridge, but the captain called 911 accidentally.
Did he burn his ear?
What the hell is that cactus-looking yellow thing at the back of the boat? It looks like a giant coat tree?
It looks like a cartoon rendition of a fish skeleton.
After the fish has had an encounter with the Wunder Boner!
At least it turned out better than Red Skeleton’s encounter with the Wonder Boner…
SINK FASTER!
*watches as Will ties more rocks to Bob Troll*
*Munches Thin Mints®*
Yes, it does?
That’s how they measure whether the bridge is high enough. Unfortunately, that guy came to work late and only got it on the back end of the boat.
Hmm I wish I worked somewhere that a guy comes in late and gets on my back end.
I can contract you if you would like.
No way, I had a c-section so I would not have contractions.
… Lol you shouldn’t do that to me XD
Do what? Poke you in the butt? That wasn’t me.
Sorry, that was me…
If we are going to tag team someone, I want to be in the middle at least one time darnit!
ok, I offer to get on your back, front side and every where else for free. using just a tongue lashing… oopps i mean a verbal agreement.
Well, in that case…
Morning everybody. Sorry I’m late.
…where everybody knows your name.
So, what’ll it be, Norm?
Thin Mints® Norm??
*Munches Thin Mints®*
Do you have some bottomless box of Thin Mints? Or do you just keep munching the same ones over and over?
Oh, just anything cheap and intoxicating.
There’s plenty of people like that around Failblog.
*just had horrible thought that skwerlls had “cud” like cows do*
Gee, thanks for that mental image.
hammykins: Do you have some bottomless box of Thin Mints? Or do you just keep munching the same ones over and over?
Skwerlly Bob: Let’s see, 3 boxes from Evervescent & 2 cases from te Girl Scouts I ambushed. I’m pretty well set through the Super Bowl at least.
I do have a small mouth, so i nibble.
Huh, they really ARE Thin Mints.
.
Calories 37 Calories from Fat 15
% Daily Value *
Total Fat 1.75g 3%
Saturated Fat 1.13g 6%
Trans Fat 0g
Cholesterol 0mg 0%
Sodium 28.75mg 1%
Total Carbohydrate 20g 7%
Dietary Fiber 1g 4%
Sugars 2.5g
Protein 2g 4%
.
I wish all cookies out of existence in general, though.
They weren’t in the schoolyard were they?
I say that’s a failboat. It is… WAS tall enough to hit the bridge. Just take the central point of the boat, then add the building… And the bridge just fell in front of it? I don’t think it’s a coincidence.
Of course it’s not a coincidence. It’s a conspiracy!
I am concerned about my constipation.
A lot of concentration will relieve that constipation.
I’m filled with consternation about this constipation conversation.
*Contenplates continuing constipation conversation* I believe I will sit this one out.
You are becoming incontenent.
Conteenance Conteenance do joo know jour Conteenance. Aseeya, Freekah, Norse and Souse Amereekah.
My son’s preschool teacher taught him this song and he came home singing it just like she did. Did I fail to mention she had only been in the country for 2 years?
Sounds like Jodie Foster’s character from that movie Nell.
If Nell was a Marielita.
“Chicka-pee-a!”
For only two years here her engrish is pretty top notch.
Pity the same can’t be said about the english
Well which one was she from, Aseeya or Freeka?
Cooba!
Not a photoshop. http://english.sina.com/china/p/1/2008/0327/152146.html
boat looks empty (minus the bridge its carying) which makes it higher. Also it could be unusually heavy rain season + high tide. So looks like moon and/or global warming pwn teh failboat. Just can’t figure out if its a cargo or tanker. If tanker it’s wicked ironic.
Definately Boat Fail
You certainly said that Defiantely. I guess it’s like “fellatio”, only in the sense that it’s clearly impossible to spell.
Actually, boat hit the bridge fail. This is the Jintang bridge in China. Actual article http://news.xinhuanet.com/english/2008-03/27/content_7868845.htm Another angle http://www.webalice.it/edmtromb/blog/ningbo2.jpg Facts, win.
All aboard the fail bridgeboat
Boat Fail:
The China Marine Rescue Center on Sunday said the captain and the sailor who kept on lookout duty on the cargo vessel, known by the code Qinfeng 128, took full responsibility for hitting a bridge under construction near the eastern seaport of Ningbo, Zhejiang Province.
http://www.chinadaily.com.cn/china/2008-04/06/content_6594479.htm
Clean water fail.
It looks real to me. I think the tied was up and the boat hit the bridge, Itisaboutus.com The way the boat is floating with the weight in the back and being stopped right there,looks convinceing to me. Great blog here wish I could do this well.
This photo is real guys and boat fails he struck the bridge this happened on the Arkansas river on I 40 i think 15 ppl died the operator of the barge had a seizure and was knocked out from it i will have to say i did not laugh when i saw this that was a dark day, it was in Oklahoma.
This is a real photo it happened on the Arkansas river on I 40 the barge operator had a seizure and was knocked out he hit the pillar or beam you see on the right about 15 ppl died i think it was a dark day I would have to say I did not laugh when I saw this one It happened in Oklahoma.
second
Wow, so many replies to the first post that no one cares about you incompetent trolls. If you want some compliments (compliments being a euphemism for merciless abuse) try getting the first post.
Did I mention FAIL?
Third
Great. Now I’m afraid of bridges AND boats.
I’ve been scared of bridges ever since childhood, when bridge collapses and the subsequent trappage of people were part of a sing-along game. *shudders*
I been scared of water snakes ever since I started using the toilet.
But that’s just me.
That’s a line from the musical “Anne Frank: A Voice Heard”, that I’m working on right now. And I’m not even kidding.
Mua ha ha ha ha! *sings creepily while wearing all black in a poorly lit hallway with face slightly covered by his hair* London Bridge is falling down,
Falling down, Falling down… London Bridge is falling down… My fair lady… Take a key and lock her up… Lock her up, Lock her up…Take a key and lock her up… My fair lady… How will we build it up… Build it up, Build it up?… How will we build it up… My fair lady?… Build it up with silver and gold… Silver and gold, Silver and gold…Build it up with silver and gold… My fair lady…Gold and silver I have none…I have none, I have none…Gold and silver I have none… My fair lady…Build it up with needles and pins… Needles and pins, Needles and pins… Build it up with needles and pins… My fair lady… Pins and needles bend and break… Bend and break, Bend and break… Pins and needles bend and break… My fair lady… Build it up with wood and clay… Wood and clay, Wood and clay… Build it up with wood and clay… My fair lady… Wood and clay will wash away… Wash away, Wash away… Wood and clay will wash away,My fair lady… Build it up with stone so strong…Stone so strong, Stone so strong… Build it up with stone so strong… My fair lady… Stone so strong will last so long… Last so long, Last so long… Stone so strong will last so long… My fair lady.
*walks slowly toward her with slightly syncopated movements whilst singing the song*
P.S. *blood dripping from walls… Blah blah blah, etc. all the other horror movie crap*
I was going to attempt to read this, but I’m really not in the mood. Can someone give me the cliff notes version?
something about cookies I think…
COOKIES???!!!
I think it says that he slept with the dorm slut and got herpes.
Something like that.
-.-
Yeah, I can tell you went to AMDA.
EVERY verse to the popular London Bridge rhyme we used to sing as kids.
Though I must say I never heard most of those verses.
I suppose we sang the Sunday school version.. ironically..
*stares, frozen in horror* MY LORD SOMEONE SAVE ME!!!
*whisks dianatheinsane off somewhere safe* Are you ok now?
…tl;dr?
*gasps for breath* Yes, I think so. *shudders* Oh, the horror.
For those of you who didn’t read, that was Princess Nancy’s B-Level horror movie version of London Bridge.
Still with the princess Nancy… I see… Guess I cannot deny my new nickname… However… REVENGE! *walks towards Diana with arms raised whilst singing:*
How come every time you come around!
My London London Bridge wanna go down!
Like London London London!
Wanna go down like!
London London London!
Be going down like!
Mua ha ha ha! Pure evil!
*is not frightened by mediocre hip-hop*
Oh, please.
*shoots Nancy with her dart machine gun, then tosses Nancy into the FailBog*
Goodbye!
Good thing I can breathe Under… Wait… *glug glug* NO! Save me!?
Welcome Princess. It’s not so bad in the bog, once you get used to the smell…
You keep telling yourself that, princess.
(Comments wont nest below this level)
I am wont to that comment.
right that on the board a hundred times and maybe we’ll believe it
*hands the princess a handful of broken chalk*
FAIL BOG Thanks You for Your Business!!
The Bog of Eternal Stench was a serious fail. Ludo down.
You may be a princess, but I’m a queen, and I outrank you beotch! SO BACK OFF MY DIANA!
*begins headbanging* Don’t, stop me NOW! Cause I’m having such a good time! I’m havin’ a ball! Don’t, stop me NOW! If you wanna have a good time, JUST GIVE ME A CALL! Don’t stop me! (Cause I’m havin’ a good time!) DOn’t stop me! (Yes I’m havin a good time.) I don’t wanna stop at all!!!
Listen Nancy, today I’m handing out lollipops and ass-whoopings…AND I’M ALL OUT OF LOLLIPOPS!
Woah! I see Mr. Cuddles is a…
Killer QUEEN! Gunpowder, Gelatine! Dynamite with a laser beam! Guaranteed to blow your mind! Anytime!
I think Princess is being possessed by Freddie…
Keep it up and I’ll let you blow something later
*shivers* I’m fine… And you’re just jealous cause the Princess is always the pretty one, while the Queen is always ugly and no one likes her!
Oh no she didn’t! *starts taking off earrings and pulls rings off* Hold my shit, hold my shit!
*holds out a handkerchief to mr. cuddles* Just set them on here, dearie, while you kick the shit out of the big meaniepants.
*holds earrings and rings*
*gets all the royal guards tgo surround him cause he’s the pretty one*
Hey, I’m a Yank and I still love the Queen.
But I’m starting to dislike Princess Toadstool.
*picks off the royal guards one by one with her dart gun, grinning as they slump to the ground in a pretty circle*
mr. cuddles, you can claim him
as your slave if you wish. Diana
tossed him into the FAIL BOG a
few minutes ago. He looks young
enough to train and has a purty mouth.
Thanks guys. Now let’s teach Nancy a lesson!
*puts on battle gui and gets into a defensive, mountain guard stance* Did I mention I’ve done Martial Arts for 13 years, and have gotten my black belt in Jiu jitsu, tae kwon-do ((ITF)), Kung Fu((drunken monkey), a Practitioner Five in Krav-Maga, and currently studying Kenpo and Muay Thai! *pulls out his favorite katana* Bring it!
I’m going to bet that you never trained for any of those in a FAIL BOG. My money is on mr. cuddles.
Oh yeah, *cue that really cool DJ Tiesto song from Blade*
No.. but I did grow up in Opa-Locka Hialeah which has a twenty times worse murder rate then Harlem… My money is on me!
*Snickers.*
Hey Ry, can I have my shirt back.
I have a little snot to wipe up here.
Did I mention that I love Pierogies?
Alright, I’m out of here peeps. Have a good weekend!
I bring it up only because I just ate 17 and am on a massive cheese high right now.
Enjoy MC.
*540 notabon kicks Cuddles in the jaw and palm fist him in the chest with a precision strike meant to damage organs only* Did I mention my father was abusive and used to be a boxer in Cuba?
And jocks and boxers are always the most fun to fight! So slow! HA HA HA!
*watches as Nancy flails around in the Fail Bog, unaware that mr. cuddles left minutes ago, and sinks hopelessly deeper into the ooze*
*realizes he’s gone… too dark… Runs out of bog* I could’ve sword I ra out already?!
LMAO! You can’t Run out of a BOG you silly Nancy! You’re lucky your nose hasn’t gotten close to the new “minty” layer. ha ha ha!
The FAIL BOG Monsters NEVER let go of their new pets.
If you’re lucky mr. cuddles will redeem his Slave Voucher and claim you next week
Well, I’m off to class!
*ties several anvils to Nancy’s waist*
Ta, ta! Enjoy the reconstituted ThinMints®!
Wait! Then how do I leave!? *takes out flamethrower and starts torching the place* Let me outta here!!! Damn you Diana!!!
You can Check Out, but you can NEVER Leave!
FAIL BOG is Forever!
Unless of course if you’re lucky mr. cuddles will redeem his Slave Voucher and claim you next week. Enjoy your weekend! Keep your head up!
Juses Christ…can’t you just push him down and let Will keep him there, Skwerlly? I stopped reading Princess Troll’s posts way up there ^^^ and now he’s just irksome.
+1, his type is a constant thorn in my side. *goes numb from constant thorns* *gets rash*
Oo…ouchie. Here, I have a cream for that. It also has the added bonus of repelling attention whores!
OMFG please please, thank you!! I need that so badly the next few months.
*gives dilly a couple of gallon jugs*
*rereads post*
*giggles*
*posts*
Two big jugs, please!
CAT FIGHT! CAT FIGHT!
Uh… Princess? tl:dr
Am I the only one who did r?
It’s quite possible.
No, you’re not. I actually found it a little interesting… I only ever knew the first verse.
tl;dr;cbb
I thought there was only one line in the whole song.
If you’re going to do r, you should do two or three lines to feel the effects.
Why are the clouds on fire? O_O
Crap, I can see through time, AGAIN. And I’m talking really fast to spiders.
Don’t worry, we’ll ride on this narwhal. Wait a minute….that’s no narwhal! I’m hallucinating. It’s just a unicorn.
*strips due to clothes crawling on skin* Crap, my shadow’s not doing what I’m doing!
Maybe you turned into Vlad Tepes… try some garlic and find out!
I think so… did we miss out on anything?
PrincessNancy’s real identity, MissOut.
*Hugs Mookye*
Don’t forget the pewpy brown water.
Mookye sounds like some Dutch/Scandinavian word. Or Mookje. I wonder if they are…
*wonders*
I’m also scared of crossing the fjord.
You should try a Christler instead.
What about a Vulva? They are boxy, but good.
I used to be able to fit a whole couch in my Vulva!
I was looking at that Pinkley Taurus but it sucks up too much gas for my liking.
I used to like those Mini’s but I couldn’t fit all my junk in it. Felt like when I had barely gotten in I was gonna have to fold into 3 just to cram myself completely in.
Have you driven a fjord lately?
I think it sounds like something a town crier would yell. “Mook ye, mook ye.”
Mookje is not a word.
‘Mook’ is a placename, and ‘je’ is a suffix meaning ‘little’, but you can’t belittle placenames.
FWIW ‘Mokje’ is a word. (Little mug.)
Mookie has small jugs?
My fantasies are quashed.
No, “little mug” refers to another part of her anatomy.
Oh… oh… well I can handle that. Literally.
I feel like “I’m a little teapot, short and stout” would play in the background while you handled her mug.
There goes my little-man-in-the-boat joke.
I’d touch her spout too, I know she likes that the best.
The little man in the boat’s not real. He’s a myth like Bigfoot or the chupacabra.
norm, I’m ashamed of you! As a red blooded male you’ve surely been to littlemanintheboat.com (or such like Pr0n sites) and seen that they do exist, but obviously only on whores, tramps, hussies, MILFs, and Wild DrunkCollege Girls.
*Munches Thin Mints®*
C’mere norm, let me show you something…
Damn, Loz. That’s a pretty one. Is it salty?
That’s what the thumb is for.
*Munches Thin Mints®*
… don’t you think you have had enough Cookies yet Bob?
… did you make it automatically say *munches etc.* or are you MANUALLY typing that out? O.O
Methinks he’s using CTRL+V or APPLE+V, depending on his affiliation.
*Munches Thin Mints®**Munches Thin Mints®**Munches Thin Mints®**Munches Thin Mints®**Munches Thin Mints®**Munches Thin Mints®**Munches Thin Mints®**Munches Thin Mints®**Munches Thin Mints®*
I just hop really really fast when high on Thin Mints®
Well, I’m glad someone here likes me… *coughAviscough* I’m all butt-hurt now…
*facepalm*
Huh…I had no idea. You’d think one of the whores, tramps, hussies, MILFs, or Wild DrunkCollegeGirls I’ve been with would have said something.
OH! You’re confused!
It’s NOT a fishing boat with a lil’ man in it.
BUT it might be fishy and want YOUR “lil’ man”.
*Munches Thin Mints®*
Ooooh…I get it. HAHAHAHAH Wink wink nudge nudge, say no more.
Don’t like butter on your popcorn, but you’re sure going to town on those Thin Mints®, SB!
Butter gets all over my fur and attracts Butterflies.
*Munches Thin Mints®*
BUURRRP!
Well, maybe I should slow down on them some.
*stares at Skwerlly Bob*
This was supposed to be way up there ^.
I’ve never tried a Thin Mint.
Should I?
Is it a skwerll thang?
Another one, SB?
It’s only wafer-thin!
*waddles up to Aja*
Sure! *Munches Thin Mints®*
*Runs and dives over wall.*
Bon appetit!
*scurries to hide behind nearest plant*
*Hides under table* Did he explode yet?
I once ate a whole box of Thin Mints when I was pregnant. It was a sick scene.
*runs to FAIL BOG restroom*
Clear out folks! I’m gunna BLOW!
*strange noises, shrieks, rumbles, groans*
*FAIL BOG level rises 2 inches, (5mm)*
*strange “minty” smell permeates the area*
*throws a c to knock out the m*
Hm , SB was made of harder stuff.
If I had a hat I would take it off to you sir.
Seems you’ve been stood-up there…now we can’t have that…
.
*places CCO in palm*
*stares at troll*
*jerks it*
*Throws Bob Troll back into the
FAILBOGv2 deluxe 2000 (platinum edition)®*
…oooh!
*flushes, trembles*
thankyou!
Great, now I’m afraid of fridges.
third
FAIL
Avatar fail.
glurp?
or name fail…something along those lines.
Avatar fail works, someone with an identical avatar failing the other. Lol.
Not possible on fail for two people to have same geometric pattern assigned by fail. Same person, different name. Still fail.
===BEGIN NERDY RAMBLING===
When in doubt consult the hash in the URL of the avatar.
===END NERDY RAMBLING===
Mmm that’s it.
Nerd.
wowz
PHYRST aka FIRST!!!
Is it true?
true what? About me WIN?
Yep, and he’s still spelling asshat wrong.
PHAYL.
PHALICE!
PHELATIO!
Pheeble-minded phirsting phools!! (who r not phirst anyways!)
C-C-C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER!!
I miss Fuzz on the Concept
But it’s ok, you’ve got mookie’s whimsical fuzz to make up for it.
Do you realize how many people have been to that well?
Where is Fuzz? I miss him too.
Muahahaha
Miss his lead on the musical threads…Dilly, is that muffled jazz I can hear??
oh, for the psychedelics of ski runner!
I honestly think there needs to be more advertisements on failblog.
Just sayin’
It’s so true. There’s just not enough. But I’m seriously thinking about buying that “Bottle of Wine Glass” for Dr. B.
If you’re going to do that, you’d better get B2th that giant gummy bear on a stick, or he’s going to be really hurt.
Awh well, if I have to… what colour did he want?
Damn…what happened to the gummy bear? It’s gone!
It was holding the bridge up but the bridge fell and took the gummy bear with it.
I can finally rest knowing that gummy bear will never kill me.
Hammykins, you know gummy bears float, right?
O_o
Ignore her hammykins, she is just trying to scare you. The BBGB is gone for good or until they pay their advertising bill for February.
Also, giant gummy bears are shark’s favorite snack-on-a-stick food. So if you’re in shark-infested waters, don’t fear the giant gummy bears.
There is an ARMY of gummy bears, hammykins. Sleep with one eye open.
Gripping my pillow tight.
They’re here, and there, and everywhere. High deathrate that’s beyond compare…
Can I buy that little tramp Linsay Lohan? Or just rent her?
You can have her for free.
FREE?! That usuaally means they are dirty and unkempt. If I wanted tuna I would go to aissle 9 at the grocery store, crabs I would go to the beach. I think I will pass.
Pass the crabs?
crab, crab, pass.
itch, itch, scratch
sniff, sniff, yuck
stroke, stroke, jizz
wipe, wipe, discard
I take it you’re not alone?
No I’m not. Mikey D is here.
…pass the box of tissues, if you wouldn’t mind.
*scootch, scootch, scoooooooooootch*
*hands over a box of tissues*
Sorry it took so long, I was, erm, preoccupied.
the only Bridges I was ever scared of was Nash Bridges… Don Johnson creeps me out….
I second that emotion…
Did YOU flush Nibbler down the toilet?!
Growing up in Florida, I was scared to death of bridges. Every time you turned around, someone was driving off a bridge, into deep canal water or the keys, and being trapped in their cars and being found weeks later. We crossed the Skyway Bridge in Tampa Bay the day before one of it’s collapses that killed over 30 people. Just reinforced my fear. I will take Nash over Skyway anytime.
I, growing up in a dysfunctional family was always scared of Child Services. Is that the same?
Wow, that’s weird. I used to dream of the day the DSS would show up…
I used to dream of the day INS would show up but that was before I divorced the ex.
I used to dream of the day INXS would show up.
How’d you know I went to AMDA? Do you go?
NO, I’m not remotely an actor, just work with a lot of kids who did go. You’ve got the drama down.
He is a princess which is a queen in training.
I am *biting my tongue* not wrecking this guy.
If you grew up in or near the area, you would realize he is just like most everyone else down there. We lived in Miami Lakes and I hated driving into Hialeah for anything. The Palmetto was my friend.
I’ve only been to Orlando and Gainesville, and don’t know where he’s from, just his kind. But GODDAMN, do not make friends with a palmetto bug.
Hahahah Hialeah is next to Miami, basically where all the Cubans settled for quite some time. Even my ex-husband would get mad driving through Hialeah. And The Palmetto is an expressway but trust me when I say lots of Floridians have horror stories about open-mouth sleeping and Palmetto bugs. *shudder*
I was about to get really worried until you mentioned the bugs.
Still wondering! How in the hell did you know? Did you teach there? Did you see my file and my head shots and resume? I must know! Come on!
My mother was never too keen on bridges either. When I was in high school I scared her pretty badly, by making creaking noises as we crossed a VERY old metal bridge out in the boonies of Missouri. After we crossed, she pulled over and yelled at me for an hour. I still couldn’t stop laughing.
There is a bridge on the FL Turnpike that I hate. It is right at Stuart, FL and I would wait until there were no cars, roll down all my windows and drive down the center of the turnpike to cross it. Living near Manhattan was a nightmare come true but it is pretty hard to drive off those bridges, plus the train goes under the water so it’s not so bad.
My mom grew up in Florida, so maybe it’s a regional thing. Or maybe Florida bridges are just terrifying.
It’s the canals. The old ones that were used as real waterways and not “waterfront property” creations later were really deep so if you went in, they had to dredge the canal to find your car and it could take weeks. We weren’t allowed near the canals. The embankments were steep so if you fell in, you were not climbing out alone.
Ugh! I know what you mean… I live right next to the damn Everglades… Crocs everywhere… Even worse… Canals! And when I have to go down to Key Biscayne on the weekends… *shivers* Honestly, I used to close my eyes when driving on the bridges there and just pray I didn’t hit any other cars or go off, and then open them when I thought I was off… It’s gotten better though…
I do that when crossing the bridge over the Taos gorge. Of course, I’m the passenger. That BTW is the bridge in Natural Born Killers where they get “married”. It is a truly terrifying bridge.
Never seen it… But, one thing I can relate to is the terrifying bridge, I sometimes like to get away from the city so I can see the stars perfectly. So, I drive way out into the everglades and to get to my favorite spot, I need to go over a really creepy ass wooden bridge with mangroves on each side and you cannot see two feet out your windows!
There IS something rather unsettling about Florida bridges….
There’s nothing on the sides to keep you on the road. The 7 mile bridge? I rest my freaking case.
The bridge outside of Taos? Highest bridge in the country. You don’t realize it ’till you’re on it though. It looks flat. It IS flat. But the distance from the bottom of the bridge to the river waaaaaaaaaaaay down below it outstrips any other bridge in the country. The bridge spans a very narrow, very deep canyon.
There is the longest bridge in Chesapeake Bay and it is one I will never cross. It has two tunnels and I think it is like 23 miles from what they consider the beginning to the end.
Clicky my nicky for linky. They even have people that will drive you across teh bridge if you feel you can’t drive it yourself. Yeah no, I don’t need to cross into Maryland or Virginia that badly that I can’t go around.
Bridges don’t bother me…except walking across suspension bridges. When I was a kid, my dad thought it was REALLY fun to jump up and down and otherwise wibble-wobble suspension bridges while I was on them. It scarred me for life.
Hell, what am I talking about? He STILL does that!
That Taos bridge is the only one that really bothers me. And it has railings and everything. I don’t know why it creeps me out but it does. My mother, bless her, does not make fun of me for it. Even after what I did to her.
Oh, the Royal Gorge bridge? It’s the tallest in the world, methinks, and it’s in Colorado, not New Mexico. Scary as shit that thing.
The one I am referring to is just outside of Taos, NM. And damned
scary. Every year I have to go over that thing at least twice. Last year it was around six times. Last year I spent about a week in Taos. I begged my mother to find a different route to get to our friends house.
It’s the fifth highest in the US. I just looked it up. It spans the Rio Grande, and is a cantilevered bridge, not a suspension bridge. Eventually I will have to drive over the damned thing by myself. I am not looking forward to this.
I thought Tommy Lee was the fifth highest in the US.
If that’s the case, who is the highest?
Well, that Brit Amy Winehouse is still hanging out here, right? I heard she finally said yes, yes, yes…
Keith Richards.
I’ve told you about the Stones concert I went to, right?
Was that when Keith fell out of a palm tree and had to postpone playing Captain Jack’s dad?
No, this would be when my mother informed me that “Keith Richards is so hot”. According to her. My skin tried to crawl away.
*shudders*
Ewwwwwwwwwwww…
I know.
Probably more so than Mick Jagger… he always reminded me of Sebastian from the Little Mermaid…
Much more so. Much. Mick Jagger is small potatoes compared to the excess of Richards. As far as drugs are concerned.
*realizes what was just said*
*awaits the barrage of potato comments*
Keith Richards + Mick Jagger + Potato.
There’s a mental image for ya!
That’s the second highest bride in the US/
^bridge^
Beau Bridges is even creepier, but it’s hard to be creeped out by Lloyd Bridges when every time you see him, you flash back to “Looks like this was a bad day to stop sniffing glue.”
But Bridge Publications is the ultimate in creepy.
A boat in a ocean of shit
Take this “n” if you want to live!
Get to the chopper NOW!
the bridge’s not even finished and already it collapses! imagine when there’ll be cars on it! now that’s gonna be fail!!!
“snotgreen sea” my ass. That James Joyce was full of shit.
Why would you want someone to snotgreen your ass? Is that even possible? You and your kinky sex games.
I think if its snotgreeen Gonorrhea, I recommend penicillin and a topical solution, maybe a pad insert for your undergarments for the drippage and leaking.
Nuh uh! Not me. That’s Mookie’s gonorrhea you are treating. I don’t have it.
Given what we did last weekend, I find that hard to believe.
You can’t stop thinking about “it” can you? That other trip can’t come soon enougj.
That’s postponed. Apparently now that this ice storm has hit, we are waiting for a tsunami to hit Arkansas so I can go back to Florida right before it hits. My asshat boss wanted me to go back Monday. I think he is rethinking his decision to have me live here instead of going back to Florida to live.
Try and get transferred up here. We could get in a fair bit of trouble together. Good times…
Oh Gawd.. If you two lived next to each other, I can see the day in which the federal government will close down failblog.
Wha? Huh?
Oh please, if those two lived next door to each other, we’d never see them again!
Not until the news crew showed up
We’d get to see you on COPs! Or one of those “Caught on Tape” shows. Not as criminals, but rather more a “you won’t believe it unless you see it” sorta thing.
But you would never see us on Failblog as a fail, we would go big or go home but we would always go smart. We are women after all. I know you feel me.
… what?
Sorry. Temporary nest fail.
*has no misgivings about this*
*knows you would be part of some kind of amazing win!*
Ry and Mookie that is. Not this misspelled bid for attention that keeps cropping up.
I am not misspelled. It’s done like that on purpose. I know how to spell “effervescent.”
Uh-huh. Whatever.
… What the hell did I ever do to you? So I’m involved in the community here. And that -offends- you?
Can’t we all just be friends?
It’s ok Evervescent. Come join the rest of the trolls here in the Fail Blog.
or bog…
*sinks further into the bog*
Avis – Chicago isn’t far from here. Ry and I will come pick you up and we’ll be the gruesome threesome!
I dunno, I kind of like Evervescent and his fatty cakes. But I am partial to a man in uniform.
I’ll just reserve judgment.
Mookie, you two would wear me out! I’ll just stand back and let you guys have fun.
*inserts we between saw and were*
You don’t have to go to the bog just because Avis calls you a troll. If it was up to her, she would be the only one commenting on Failblog.org, laughing at her own jokes and telling herself how clever she is.
I get it, you’re angry. Go with what you feel. Or better yet, just go. Everyone has their niche on here. Some taze for no reason, some assume you are a troll until proven otherwise, some assume you are just another personality of the same demented psyche. Roll with it or roll out, it’s easy really.
Besides, I prefer to send them to the cage, not the bog.
Troll fail.
They usually do.
Should we give them a run for their money, Avis?
*raises eyebrow*
Why not!?
*SMOOCH*
*peeks out from the warmth of Avis’s buddy hammock drawer*
Ooooooo, some heterosexual action!
*Munches Thin Mints®*
*slams drawer shut and calls pest control*
*sneaks away with Skwerlly Bob hidden in shirt* No pest control is going to take away my little buddy!
*Relocated Skwerlly into appropriate squirrel-approved living trashcan*
Now, where were we, my Avis? *come hither stare*
Oooh, another FB couple! *gets teary* I met my failmate here, you know!
Oooooh!
I just got shivers!
AAAHHH! HETEROS!!! *runs and hides behind trashcan*
Look out for the Skwerll.
I know, it’s gross isn’t it?
I think Mookie and Ry need to get together again to dispell some of this horrid hetero-ness.
Alternatively… any ladies free?
Shivers? I’ve got some big, warm arms to snuggle up in, Avis.
I’m a girl-skwerll.
Squirrel.
Guirrel.
Does that count?
*snuggles into Christopher’s arms*
Mmmmm… nice.
As long as you don’t mind being called “Sandy” during the heat of the moment, then come on over! You have such a cute smile, has anyone told you? Just tell me what is your name all about?
Oh, and I just got this new warm padded Buddy Hammock we can relax together in and “get to know each other”
*wink wink*
“Sandy” works for me.
My name is a quote from
one of those… things… made of paper…
read them when not wasting my eyes online…
a, whatjacallit, a …book!
Your Buddy Hammock sounds cosy.
Shall I bring you some cookies? – or
would crumbs in the hammock kill
the mood?
Oh, and S.B.? I’ve kind of got it into
my head that you’re a private detective.
You look like one, think it’s the hat.
So, even if you’re not, how’d'ya feel
about pretending?
*digs through toy box, finds handcuffs, badge and toy gun*
SURE! That would be fun! 
Cookies are ALWAYS welcome!
*charges dust buster*
Crumbs? Not a problem here.
*sashays into SB’s hammock*
Detective Skwerll! Is that a gun in
your pocket…?
NO!
But I am VERY GLAD to see You!
Here, sit down, take your clothes off.
Cookies? Or should we just eat each other?
Plussinsawhich, that “hammock” is a bra. Just so ya know. Bob thinks it’s one of mine, but he is mistaken.
Maybe it’s DW’s or Mookye’s,
it’s pretty decent sized.
Avis, if you wanna sit on that limb and watch…. it’s fine with me.
I… oh!
*stares at hands in surprise*
I seem to have trapped my wrists in your
handcuffs! And gotten them tangled in
your hammock at the same time!
How clumsy of me.
What on earth will we do now?!
Thanks, Avis.
S’okay tho – we skwerlls aren’t too
fussy about where we cosy-up
*examines hammock*
Not mine. It’s not made of leath…
Um. I mean, nothing. What? No, I didn’t say anything.
*snork*
Ahem. Well. Anyway…
Hank Scorpio: Uh, hi, Homer. What can I do for you?
Homer: Sir, I need to know where I can get some business hammocks.
Hank Scorpio: Hammocks? My goodness, what an idea. Why didn’t I think of that? Hammocks! Homer, there’s four places. There’s the Hammock Hut, that’s on third.
Homer: Uh-huh.
Hank Scorpio: There’s Hammocks-R-Us, that’s on third too. You got Put-Your-Butt-There.
Homer: Mm-Hmm.
Hank Scorpio: That’s on third. Swing Low, Sweet Chariot… Matter of fact, they’re all in the same complex; it’s the hammock complex on third.
Homer: Oh, the hammock district!
Hank Scorpio: That’s right.
Hammock Peddler: The price is ten dollars. But, I must warn you, this is no ordinary hammock. Its webbing is a mesh of comfort…and evil.
Homer: You had me at “comfort”!
You are a guy? I assume anything with kins at the end of it is too girlified to be anything more than a girl. And a young one at that.
Like Princess Nancy, I too am a victim of an unfortunate nickname.
It started out as “Ham” (the first Chimp to orbit the Earth).
I am kind of young, almost 16 (9 days away).
My friends thought “Ham” was unbefitting of my manliness, hence “hammykins”.
Umm happy early birthday and you aren’t old enough to have manliness imho. But you will soon.
Well, imnsho, I think I am incredibly manly. Just for that, I’m not going to share any of my kitties or ABBA records with you.
I masturbate several times a day just because I know a kitten dies each time. And ABBA? Yeah no, you just keep them snookums.
Fine. I’ll keep the kitties for myself.
*munch munch munch*
Hi Ry
I didn’t know your kitten was Shakespearean,
sometimes things are too hard to tell.
I’d say this is the work of the failboat here.
Submarine fail!
*yawn* You’re such a dude who makes an excessive or inappropriate display of learning, a person who overemphasizes rules or minor details–a person who adheres rigidly to book knowledge without regard to common sense. ZZZZZzzzZZZZZZ
The failboat strikes the failbridge
or did the failbridege strike the failboat…
return of the FAILboat!
all rejoice!
Drawbridge fail!
all aboard the failboat
Joseph Hazelwood fail!
It was in China last year. Boat fail. http://english.sina.com/china/p/1/2008/0327/152146.html
The Captain chose the wrong route, the lookout was blind.
The should have taken the elevator instead…
The should have taken the escamator.
*takes TheCake*
London bridge is falling down
Is that water or chocolate milk? ‘Cause if it’s chocolate milk, I need to know where this place is so I can do some damage.
Of course it is chocolate milk, because that so ofte comes in a disgusting brownish-greenish poo color that makes it hard to think about drinking it without also thinking about puking.
pi-th!!!!!!
Dear GOD the definition of that is HORRIBLE. I was just looking for some “pithy” fun. You violated cattle and frogs, you sicko.
I say sphincter phail ’cause the ship’s pilot shat his drawers when he couldn’t find the brake pedal.
What? Is it like a car where you have the gas pedal and the break pedal? Do they put it into 2nd gear and pop the clutch to make funny noises? Seriously?
Naw, this one didn’t have a clutch.
Oh it was a shoulderbag? Was it one of those cute hobo bags or one of those giant ones that is all the rage now?
“Check it out…this baby can go from 0 to 6 in under 10 hours!”
If you have a day to spare, I can show you how to do donuts in this thing.
I’m up for Donuts 101. I’m guessing that the first session is cleaning my racing helmet.
iswaz auto trans.
*dances to auto trans music*
Bleh, Tiesto with speakers plugged into a Walkman. So 2002.
YESss, the return of the Failboat!
FAKE FAIL! ¬¬’
FAKE NAME. ¬¬’
“all hands on deck!”
“which deck, sir?”
i would not want to be that captain, because he usually stands on the bridge (the part of the ship where the controls are), on th every top
::sigh:: I need a nap. Who wants to work for me?
Why can’t Pinta do it?
Or maybe your mom.
My mom is dead you insensitive twat! If you are being paid to work, then go work and stop whining about it. Mookie! Come hold me!
There, there my precious. That Nina’s a nasty whore. And she smells.
I do smell bad. ::hangs head:: I’m sorry. Geez, why is everyone always picking on me. I can’t help it my parents named me Nina. And I don’t have the accent over the second “n” so it’s nothing like the ship. Don’t be so mean to me and stop calling me names! ::runs away and cries to make you feel bad::
We are impervious to your guilt tactics. I wasn’t attacking, I was joking. My mother was a nun and donated her time to orphanages around the world and you had to draw the mom card. FOR SHAME!
Mother Theresa?
Yes my child?
*cleans up milk and pierogi bits that were expelled from his nose*
*so happy she didn’t have to watch that*
*barfs anyway*
Glad I could help
You’re cleaning that up.
*dumps sawdust on the barf*
Um… I always hear about sawdust and barf. I don’t know exactly what’s supposed to happen. As far as I can tell, sawdust is a catalyst that causes vomit to evaporate.
It’s like sand on an oil/gas spill. Poof, it’s all better now.
Some nun.
*rolls eyes, while grinning*
“It’s better than sex! Uh, I’ve heard.”
~the “virgin” Mary
It’s OK, Nina. You can sing 99 Luftballons for us if you want. We’ll listen.
That’s Nena silly. I prefer Goldfingers cover (clicky nicky)
Santa Maria! Why you so rude?
*sniffles and blows her nose on Marius’ shirt sleeve*
It’s okay Ry.
*Sets course for Nina to sail off the edge of failblog*
*Takes off shirt.*
You can keep that.
Oh thank goodness, I used the last of my toilet paper. I know just how to use this left sleeve.
*Snickers.*
I wear a 44 long, so that should last.
This is a real photo, read about it in a news paper. google bridge falls on ship
maybe the news paper if photoshopped, too. And of course all google is photoshopped, too, everybody knows it.
Google is photoshopped. It’s all pixels.
My God. It’s full of pixels!
You rang?
I think a certain truck driver has found a new job.
he is underwater now. a now job only as a submarine driver
There goes what’s left of our polar ice caps.
And they said it was birdstrike that brought that plane down.
water fail? Nasty
It’s the oompah loompah boat on the river of chocolate at the chocolate factory. Notice the bright splash of orange? Someone played a practical joke and put fizzy lifting drink right before it went under the bridge.
Hmm… The bridge fell on the boat…
>_>
Oh yeah. HAHAHAHA. *sigh* Sorry, this one wasn’t that funny to me…
*munches more thin mints and Starburst*
Sugar coma in 3…2…
*nods at countdown* OH GOD *spazzes and writhes on the ground* SUGAR COMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA X_X
*steals Evervescent’s remaining boxes of Thin Mints®*
*puts a pillow under his head while he writhes on the ground*
*Munches Thin Mints®*
*tackles Bob after recovering and swipes* Mine. I gave you a box already, greedy little Skwerrel. Finish that one first then I might give you another one.
THE BRIGDE ATTACKED TEH BOAT!!§§111
I doubt it was a brigadier, more like a captain or a skipper.
Failboat + bridge of fail = OTP
Just when you think sailing on a river of runny excrement can’t get any worse…
It was a chines bridge that was struck in 2008 , there is a news vid on Youtube.
Some men were trapped inside.
FYRST at second page! WIN!!!
failboat your doing it right!
You again! This was YOUR doing!!
I SQUISH HIM!
“I AM SQUISHING HIS HEAD!” *squishes between thumb and forefinger*
“BAD SQUISHY! BAAAAD, BAD SQUISHY!”
This was in Ningbo in China’s Zhejiang Province and happened on Thursday, March 27, 2008.
A 60 meter long section of bridge collapsed onto a cargo ship. Four members of the ship’s crew were killed.
It’s funny because the bridge collapsed on a boat.
It’s funny ’cause it’s true.
Am I too late to join in the merrymaking?
Of course not, what are you talking about!
Failblog runs ’round the clock … there is no “late”!
Unless you got someone pregnant. Then there’s “late”.
That’ll teach you to sate yourself.
If she was too young, then there’s bait.
Except me, it’s too late for me.
Your nesting fail is so five minutes ago.
http://images.google.com/images?q=Ningbo%20ship%20bridge
>An empty cargo vessel hit a bridge under construction near the eastern seaport of Ningbo, Zhejiang Province, leaving four crew members missing.
Awesome, I totally come here for the news.
I just read it for the articles!
*pulls out a failboat centrefold*
Oh yeah…
In honor of Loz…*masturbates*
Ah, the long ago, far away times when all the trolls *masturbated*. It was more prevalent than “first”ing. I sort of missed having it around.
Into each fail a little masturbation must fall. Loz was reminiscing the other day so I am trying to inject it for her.
She only half likes the hot beef injections.
But she loves my beef curtains.
I’ll take both at the same time, please
Greedy? Me? Never!
(Thanks for keeping up the masturbation, Ry!)
Boat win!
I believe this is from an accident last year in china. Here’s a link to a video from LiveLeak.com: http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=a6b_1207143138
FIRST!!!
SECOND!
THIRST!
Fail boat sets sail for fail under the Fail Falls Memorial Bridge. Story at 11.
sings: London bridge is falling down!
sings: Someone already said it! You don’t read the comments!
I have no idea why, but it seems like literally EVERY poster (except trolls) is someone from a World of Warcraft RP server. I seriously have more fun reading the ridiculous ignorant youtube comments. Not talking down about you, i just can’t be like, “Oh yea! I know what you mean, bruh!” Because i have no idea where any of these comments are coming from.
Even my black velvet glow in the dark Pinball Wizard Poster? And for the record I am not a troll nor have I ever played an RPG game. And while I am not every poster, every includes me. And trust me when I say, I am pretty sure Mookie doesn’t even know what an RPG game is, much less how to play one. So there is two from your “every”, Mr. Not Talking Down About You. I cast magic missile 9 in your direction!
I play some RPG’s, but even Warcraft is a little nerdy for me…
That’s cuz you are one of the cool chicks.
Damn straight.
Although my french horn would beg to differ.
Who’s Differ?
And why do the French give her the horn?
Hm. Apparently I’m not actually a poster, since I’ve never played WoW and I don’t even know what an RP server is.
Hmph. I feel so marginalized.
*HUG!*
*nestles*
*unwraps himself from a Nestle bar wrapper*
*SQUEEZE*
*Woos a truck driver in to giving him a lift with the promise of Yorkies*
HonkTheHornHonkTheHornHonkThe Horn!
Whoonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnk!
I have never in my life played an on-line game. But, some of us have been here for a while, and have developed a number of in-jokes.
Plus, there is the lack of continuity… posts aren’t to be read top to bottom, but chronologically.
Oh yea! I know what you mean, bruh!
Are you kidding? The comments are the main reason I started coming regularly. The actual fails are amusing (most of the time) but rather short-lived, but the comments keep me entertained all day.
There are fails?
No comment.
Dear God Facless!
Read a book!
How about WATER FAIL? It looks like poop water
I`ve just watched whole gallery… I failed to go to sleep
I`ve just watched the whole gallery and failed to go to sleep…
Hi! Welcome back to failblog. I believe you’ve been here before?
it has been a long time since we had a proper failboat! I have been waiting. awesome.
hi
im more concerned about that disgusting water, anyone else? thats an interesting shade of shit brown…hmmm….ew.
No way it was the bridge fail. More like an operator FAIL!!!!!!!
4th at 3th page half WIN!
Wow dude, that does NOT look good!
RT
http://www.internet-privacy.us.tc
The top of the boat is almost high enough to touch the bottom of where the bridge would be. Clearly before the boat was pushed down it hit the bridge.
This, incidentally, is still more of a BRIDGE FAIL than a boat fail, because the boat – not the bridge – is what should have given way under that impact.
A collapsed 60-meter-long section of Jintang Bridge falls onto a cargo ship after an accident near the eastern seaport of Ningbo of east China’s Zhejiang Province on March 27, 2008. China’s maritime search and rescue authority said on Thursday that an empty cargo vessel hit a bridge under construction near the eastern seaport of Ningbo leaving four crew members missing.(Xinhua Photo/Huang Shengang
litle boat
http://translate.google.com/translate?prev=_t&hl=en&ie=UTF-8&u=http://www.arm-asso.fr/archives/date/2008/03&sl=fr&tl=en&history_state0=
Boat struck bridge… full story above. Your all welcome!
Take that, you son of a bridge!
“Just in, a bridge has collapsed outside of failburg luckily no people or animals were harmed. It landed on a nice soft failboat.”
oh my gosh I hope everyone was ok!!
I was so pissed at my roommate I took a shit between his mattress and box spring. I then put the mattress back on top and put the sheets back on the bed and placed a little piece of shit on top of his pillow. He will clean up the shit on the pillow but things will still stink. This way it will take him a while to figure out where the stink is coming from.
It happened in China in 2007. The ship collided with one of the bridge pilons causing the upper section to collapse. 8 people died when their cars fell into the river.
luckily i have a flying-boat-car…-house.
lol @ 666 comments
Here the full story and some more pictures from different angles:
http://seawayblog.blogspot.com/2008/03/ship-collapses-bridge.html
is this the bridge in south padre island, texas?
GO FAILBOAT!!!
Just notice that the boat back now is several meters lower because of the extra weight from the bridge. It was much higher during the impact.
woa ultimate damage
construction fail.