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Cheezburger Network Blog
That’s not even KINDA close…
First reply
second is only the first to fail
Don’t feed it, Jules.
I’ll taze it for you.
*tazes Malegria del Carmen viuda de Morrison*
don’t taze me, bro!
Fine have it your way
*pulls out pepper spray*
Mmmmm…. pepper spray…
Mmm….Pepper Steak…
Dude: “Come on honey, I’ll help you out of the car. It’s alright, I mean, we expected you to get a few dings and scratches your first time on the road…. :/… here, give me your hand.”
Woman: “Here take my hat.”
Dude: J**** C***** Woman! I’m a little more concerned about your safety than your hat’s!”
Woman: “And my purse as well”
Dude: ……
Mmmm….Pepper steak….
Tastes good on chicken!
BAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNGGGG
*Voidy hits troll so hard his extringuisher explodes*
Did you just give YOURSELF a nickname?! You should turn that extringuisher on yourself.
I think I’ve seenthis before, in fact I have it’s just a repost, you fail!! Oh and sorry about this not being at all apparant to these comments I just wanted it to be read.
Pepper spray actually IS kinda tasty. Reminds me of red chili powder. Good on fries. Well. Probably better on other stuff, but that’s what I tried it on, so IDK.
remember a tazer can kill…
mmm…incapacitating…
You mean: Mmmmm…. debilitating.
personally i prefer those rubber rounds…
but i can’t get any soooooo…
*pulls out supercharged paintball gun and walks towards Malegria del Carmen viuda de Morrison, firing from less (yeh that’s rite paintball rule people) less than 3 m*
*coughs*
Of course its a WOMAN!!!!!!!!!!
blonde joke:
”i can make it, i can make it!”
*flips*
”yuss, i did make it!”
Have it Your Way…Burger King style!
Woman + Manual Transmission = This Video
I know I don’t say this often, but…
BFF, could you please taze this person in the nuts for me?
If you want.
*tazes Dave in the baby-makers, on high power*
Ouch…that even hurt my baby-makers…
Eh, men don’t have baby makers, just the ingredients….
*TAZE-TAZE-TAZE*
*kicks the twitching remains of the sexist pig*
Ok BFF, he’s all yours.
D’oh! I guess we can leave him for Dragonwriter to dismantle ritualistically now.
Theng-kew guys!
I feel better.
thank you all. Woman here who drives a manual…..well. I have never done anything like this. There’s your proof Dave
you know what FUW stands for? Fat Ugly Woman. and FUWs make up 75% of the world’s bad drivers. It’s a proven fact. Just science, sorry.
You know what else is now a proven fact? You’re a total asshat.
At least he can’t reproduce.
*and there was much rejoicing*
(yaay)
But Di, that’s just plain insulting all the total asshats in the world – he is way past that stage.
Run Away! Run Away!
Just science? You worked in the Bush Administration, didn’t you?
Anytime you make a claim that something is “just science” you must prove that it is in fact “just science”…
Well, I demand you show real scientific evidence supporting the basis of your claim, not just bullshit statics that you either made up yourself or found somewhere on the internet.
If you cannot find actual scientific evidence then have a nice tall glass of shut the hell up.
Any time you make the claim that something is “just science” you need actual scientific evidence not statistics you pulled out of your hind end.
And not crap you found somewhere on the internet.
If fact, just shut up Dave. Nobody likes you and one day a FUW will run you down at a crosswalk just because the Universe is ironic like that.
Man my comments are not showing up like they should… well at least i did say the same exact thing…
I’m a man who discovered the wheel and built the Eiffel Tower out of metal and brawn. That’s what kind of man I am. You’re just a woman with a small brain. With a brain a third the size of us. It’s science.
It is anchor*man*, not anchor*lady*. And that is a scientific fact.
Thank you, and good night =)
Surely:
“Thank you, and you stay classy, San Diego?”
I suspect you are in fact Dave using a different name.
That was meant for Josh but BF just slipped in there before I posted.
Any woman with a brain a third the size of a man has one MONSTER big brain!!
And do you suppose this Josh person is Eiffel Towering with Dave and that FUW he mentioned earlier?
Anyway, everyone knows that size doesn’t matter, it’s what you do with it that counts.
I think that Josh and Dave will agree with you that “size doesn’t matter” because their thingie is the size of a peanut.
No. i am not this dave fellow….and I cannot believe that I wasnt the first to say, “Stay classy, fail blog”…jeez.
As for you, fluffy, you’re a dirty pirate hooker. =)
To Dragonwriter. I’m not sure if you were trying to insult men but..and i quote ‘Any woman with a brain a third the size of a man has one MONSTER big brain!!’ …kinda means that men are really intelligent..just saying thought
david, since your nuts have been tazed off, you are officially a
woman. congratulations
as your nuts have been tazed off, you are officially a woman. Congratulations!
Indeed…being a woman is something to celebrate!
No, no, no being WITH a woman is something to celebrate!
Do you know HOW to DUCK! LOL!
Clearly you’ve never been to China. Or Toronto. Or seen a Chinese driver in Toronto
… actually the majority of accidents are from male drivers. Young male drivers. There’s your proven facts.
Idiot.
I would have to beg to differ and say its just young drivers in general. Damned teenagers and their alcomahol…
*loudly ignores the troll, who is likely no prize catch himself/itself*
But who’s to say that it’s the “woman” aspect of that, and not the “fat” or “ugly” part (or even a combination of the two)?
Amen
Do you even want to have kids? Cause at the
rate your going you won’t even be able to pee
without reconstrctive surgery.
perfect! no man would or could come close to this.
I don’t know how scientific the term Fat Ugly Women is Dave.
did you know that 88.76% of every percent on the internet is made up?
142% of all people who crash are females. proven.
Do you know what ISM stands for? Ignorant Self-righteous Man.
ISMs make up 75% of the worlds forum trolls.
It’s a proven fact. Just science, sorry.
Oh and by the way, its not science. My number or yours. Show me a scientific report showing anything to back up your idiotic claim.
Yes, I’m a male. But not an ignorant one.
I agree fully with your statement. Statistics such as the ones originally said to get this whole thing started are completely blasphemous. It’s rather silly in my opinion.
dont forget the obnoxious black ones too
needs moar tazer
well, it appears our sexist pig friend hasn’t had enough.
*shoves him into an icewater bathtub, THEN tazes him with a pistol-tazer right in the baby-makers, then gets six hundred seventy-two thick science journals in a dump truck and unloads them into said bathtub on top of him, so he can get to researching that fact.*
o rly? and what science is this?
Tens milions people of both sex are driving manuals for lifetime. At leasdt in Czech Republic which is country of origin for both me and this video.
I can attest to your stick handling prowess, even when blindfolded!
You know I never, ever grind the gears.
I find that oddly disappointing to hear.
(Gears won’t grind below this level)
Darlin’…my clutch is so incredibly smooth, you’ll be in high gear before you even know what hit you.
Guys like this have numb nuts.
Since they tend to think with those organs, they are also numbskulls.
I’d have to say that that’s a no brainer.
Skulls have nothing to do with it…
I’m thinking those numb nuts don’t compare to the numbness of tazed nuts. Youch! That made me laugh.
Now I understand your response to the sexist comment, and I encourage you calling him out on it, but don’t you think that it is a bit hypocritical to make just as bad of a sexist comment?
“An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind.”
so true.
Does anyone have a potato for Joe’s blowhole?
I vote we just dump the contents of the bukkit in there.
Eww, I don’t think I want to know what the contents become when used on that orifice!
if it makes women drive better, then i will sacrifice my “blowhole” for the safety of mankind.
sorry, im not really into sexual experimentation. feel free to try it on yourself and report back.
*GLOWERS*
Avis, smiling at your victim with satisfaction negates the effect of the GLOWER, so put on a grumpy face.
Not once the damage has been done! I thought you wanted to keep your fur?!
Yes I do, it’s winter.
Cookies?
couldn’t have said it better myself
And what did the transmission have to do with her using the gas instead of the brake?
Dude. That was NOT cool.
So true.
apparently women cant drive OR spell “tase”
I agree!
Oh relly? Most cars in the UK are manual and I’ve never seen a woman, or a man for that matter, do this. I’ve never done this, and I’ve not even passed my test yet.
Damn, why did it have to be a woman?!
exactly
i agree completely dave
Fail
Defensive driving WIN!
aye, that gate looked like it might spring and attack at any moment
Aye, matey. Pennsylvania be a cruel mistress for those affecting British idiom.
*Roundhouse kick to face and drags Malegeria into a cellar where he nails him to the wall and begins ripping off his skin, pouring salt onto his open wound, squeezes lemons over him, and allows his bunny rabbit to lick him…* Hopefully, he’s learned his lesson… But just in case…: *pours lighter fluid on him and strikes match* MUA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Methinks Princess Nancy has some anger management issues.
Just a few… thousand.
No… NO! NO I DON’T!!! Shut up! Get out of my head! Get out! Get out! All the voices! Noooooooooo!!! Burn down Wal-Mart!!!… Hm… Well, that does seem reasonable actually… Taking out a terribly evil Corporation… Scuse me…
Did you go to AMDA?
Um… Yes… Did you?
you don’t know what (s)he aims to do
DRUNKNESS WIN!!!!!
You see the lady like gimme my purse back, wtf.
Dude: “Come on honey, I’ll help you out of the car. It’s alright, I mean, we expected you to get a few dings and scratches your first time on the road…. :/… here, give me your hand.”
Woman: “Here take my hat.”
Dude: J**** C***** Woman! I’m a little more concerned about your safety than your hat’s!”
Woman: “And my purse as well”
Dude: ……
How the…???
Who the…???
Where the…???
What the…???
you are the …???
Jules, ur comment FAILS
*Looks for Clue.*
*finds blue pawprint on car*
*writes on thier handy-dandy-notebook*
C-C-C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER!!
What the …?
*Takes secret passage to Conservatory.*
*AHEM* That’s not the Conservatory, Marius.
I knew I should have closed the toilet door!
Marius, get out of the root cellar!
*Roots around for candlestick.*
Whoops, THAT’S not a candlestick!
Oops! Sorry k-k-k-katy…all of that talk about naked gladiators got to me
I’ll lock the door from now on.
At least someone here knows how to drive a stick.
How the hell did I wind up in the Billiard Room?
I’m not sure, but I think you may have been a Hardy boy in a past life.
Probably the same reason I found Professor Plum’s underwear in the library.
I’m not so sure.
I will Rope Miss Scarlet into the Study and see if I can pick up a Clue from her.
*hints to vibrator*
Gasp! It’s still on!
*vibrator skitters across Kitchen floor*
That’s gonna put lead in someone’s piping.
root cellar? this isnt a wine cellar? uh-oh…
*weatherman jumps away from vibrator and screams*
Ever since I saw the Lemon Demon version of the Song of the Count, candlesticks have scared me…
candlestick?
Candlesticks have scared me ever since I saw the Lemon Demon version of the Song of the Count o.o
*sits down in his thinking chair*
I can Hardly find it.
Here’s a map that Nancy drew earlier…
Why the…???
In the…??
ouch.
When the…? – Feeling left out!
Why the…???
Ms. Scarlett, on the ice covered hill, in a bathing suit, with a AK-47 and a vibrator. Hope I covered all your questions.
Shot and then bludgeoned with a Virbrator. That’s the way I want to go!
How about bludgeoned, bludgeoned some more with the vibrator and then shot?
I’m confused. Wasn’t “a vibrator” the answer to the “why” part?
Nah, the answer to why is because her vibrator ran out of batteries.
she’s giving me good virbrations
Actually, forget the hill, the bathing suit and Kalashnikov.
…
Ah, screw the whole thing!
I always tried to take care of as much as possible, the hole thing especially.
SB did you just accidenty the whole thing?
When the…???
When the…???
Gah! Ya beat me to it.
I don’t understand either.
laws of physics fail.
I’d like to put forward the theory that in the building to which the gate is attached is a super-dense sink with a gravity pull all of its own!
1st reply to the third
1st reply to the third reply to the second
it may be that they were having mechanical failure. if you look just before they gun the throttle the car jumps a bit, like when you are in a standard, you are in gear, and you are not giving it enough gas, or are applying the brakes. it could very well be that the car wasn’t receiving enough fuel because if the fuel pump, one or more of the valves, the chip that controls the fuel injection or even a simple clog in the fuel line. i have also been involved with a car who’s throttle stuck on full, and i think the only way to actually kill it at that point is to stop the flow of fuel, maybe disconnecting the ignition system would work, regardless, its a bad situation and you can just turn the car off. that being said, it could also be complete operator error, i have seem similar incidents, maybe it was thier first time driving a standard, or driving at all…
im gonna call you if my car gets busted
Or maybe women just can’t drive.
second, the motion and put it up for vote.
Denied.
the denial is now overturned!
I overturn your denial of the denial.
I second the denial.
why are we swimming in the Nile?
We’re trying to entice the trolls into the water, where they will summarily be eaten by crocodiles.
brilliant!
*has a sudden craving for Guinness*
My goodness!
Also, my fellow tribesmen will be waiting with various sharp, pointy objects.
I concur!
We don’t need the Nile for that – just a conveniently-placed handicapped sign.
Better make two signs and put one upside-down, some trolls tend to love to walk on their heads, it keeps them running.
Hippos are more deadly
Spork’s denial!! Spork’s!!! That’s the one I second!!
*Laces arms around Avis*
Smoooooooch!
I second Avis’s denial for Spork’s denial.
Uh.. that sounds somehow wrong. I SUPPORT Spork’s denial!
I deny your denial, about denying his denials
*delivers 6 Joules/s to jules’ jewels*
Jou’ll get a nice reward for that later. *grin*
I deny wolfgang’s right to deny my denial. Wait. He never had that right to start with…
I second that, wait
crap
6W to the nads? That’s like…what…2000V assuming average taser current? Ouch.
Are you guys all in denial now?
Entrapment!
*swoons*
Hey there, stranger!
*silly grin*
What’s up?
*mischievous grin*
What’s up? Well, at least one thing in particular
*returns mischevious grin*
*looks innocent*
Whatever could that be?
*bats eyelashes*
Its at my house. I’ll let you drive, on principal of this thread. Besides, I get to try and distract you on the road.
*hates driving*
*prefers to do the distracting*
you two need a room or atleast get in the back seat and let someone else drive
Buh-bye Jules. You aren’t needed or wanted.
I GOT IT!!!
*gets in the drivers seat and adjusts the rear view mirror in a creapy fashion as to watch Avis & Christopher*
ummm any place in particular ladies and gents; or shall I circle the block oh say about 300,000 times?
*halts car*
Sir, you’re under arrest, on charges of voyeurism.
*tazes*
Thank you BFF. Throw him in the troll cage!
*glowers at your*
With pleasure.
*dumps in troll cage, makes him fight with joeblow and dave*
so bond fan likes to watch men wrestle in cages as opposed to two people expressing their love in the back of a car…. iiiiiiiiiiinnnnnteresting……
*vomits*
Ever heard of the Colloseum? Where men fight to the death?
The troll cage is where trolls go to die.
Clearly the woman in this fail forgot that last part and let the car drive itself while she was distracted in the backseat.
The last troll standing gets FOOMed. There are no survivors.
oh dont worry bondfan… I promise not to spill your secret…
*snickering and rolling eyes*
Now listen here.
I’ve dealt with your kind before on this blog.
You accuse me of ‘liking men’ and being homosexual.
Why do you trolls never give up? Is it because you have nothing else to do in your basement?
Don’t worry, BFF. “your” was owned by “Cowboys Suck” and he’s just overcompensating for his own confusion right now.
BFF, it’s because it’s what they most dislike and fear about themselves.
It’s call projecting.
(a) Were BondFan a homosexual, no one here worth anything would think differently of him.
(b) You might as well direct your comment to every football and wrestling fan in America.
(c) You are clearly in as much denial about your own issues as that fundie mother from “Denial Fail”
(d) TAZE-TAZE-TAZE. *throws carcass to the other trolls*
because us “Trolls” think its HILARIOUS to get you wound up…
oh and fyi the guy sitting in the next cubicle to me thinks you love nude gladiators a little TOO much as well….
*wonders when the gladiators became nude*
Methinks the troll is betraying his own fantasies.
Avis you sound like a Psych Major
And that’s what I get for not refreshing…
I LOVE watching nude gladiators! The more muscle the better
Indeed, diana.
your an idiot, you seem to have missed out on a lot of history lessons. Gladiators wore armour.
I don’t know about you BFF, but they don’t wear much of anything in the pr0n’s I watch.
*leaps over McFail and di and removes the troll’s quotation marks*
The guy in the next cubicle probably does all the thinking for “yai”.
They’re probably sleeping together too AA.
…*and over everyone else who suddenly appeared*
Me thinks Mr. Cuddles has sex on the brain today
*hugs Dragonwriter*
*hugs McFail* I’m a man…it’s always on my brain.
DW,
Just like me, they long to be
Close to you.
awwww c’mon dragonwriter… I trolled all week to earn those quotations…. lets talk more about how bondfan doesnt like heterosexual relations!!!! YAAAAA!!!
Uh, Mr. Cuddles… Have the women of FB taught you nothing?
*backs away*
YAI, tell your cubicle-mate to talk faster.
What do you mean AA?
What the hell are you talking about, your an idiot?
BFF, just ignore him. It’s usually the scared closet cases that make fun of people because they don’t want to turn around and open the closet door.
Let me show you.
*inserts a “hu” before “man” in mr. cuddles’ previous statement*
There. Better.
Oh ok…now it makes perfect sense! It’s been a looong day at work.
okay okay i will stop… my stomach hurts from laugh too much anyways…
sheesh
*voluntarily walks into the troll cage*
*throws an ‘ing’ up to YAI’s comment because he’s a f*cking idiot*
okay, okay i will stop! my stomach hurts too much from laughing anyways…
sheesh!
*voluntarily walks into the troll cage*
Well, at least he used it, mr. cuddles.
*hug*
You’re neither funny nor witty.
So: why are you here?
*fights the urge to make a “that’s what ___ said” joke*
Have fun in the cage, troll!
*tosses a few extra tazers into the mix*
♪ It’s always taze, taze, taze ♪
You love me when I’m on my knaze?
* You’re happy. Damnit.
Oh what a tangled web we weave
Mama se, mama sa, mam appelsap
Oh what a tangled web we weave!
double post fail? I think I broke the fail blog
You, the lot of you, fail at Internetting. I am sorry.
These are comments. They are for the FAIL entry you’re viewing. Having this type of discussion in a comment field is *absurd*.
Just a correction – gladiators historically did not always wear armor or anything at all really. Taking your history lessons from Hollywood = Fail!
Reproved. Still up for vote.
Aye.
Unproved. Sit down.
May I address the speaker of the house?
The speaker already has a address and does not need a new one.
The speaker wishes to speak for himself.
I think the big jump that you see the car do is the woman stalling. Watch the clip again. She speeds in and slams on the brakes because she clearly knows nothing about driving a manual OR driving a 2ltr+ engined car, then when she starts to go forward she stalls it because she’s not riding the clutch enough, then she decides she obviously needs to give it more gas so it doesn’t stall again, then she panics, puts her foot hard on the accelerator and hits the wall. Then, because she’s such a heavy specimen, the car rolls on the drivers side.
lol, i had a neighbor who got nervous with the gas and the break once. She backed out slowly, then slmmen on the gas (thinking it was the break) hopped a curp abd obliterated a huge mail box. The kind they have in developments and apartment buildings. Mail everywhere.
*slmmen s/b slammed
You need so much more than that. It’s like trying to stop a flood with a towel.
I’m still laughing at “curp”. How do you suppose she made that upside-down ‘b’??
But she has great abd, I’ll give her that.
That’s quite a break you’re giving her there.
ACTUALY WHAT I THINK HAPPENED WAS SHE STALLED IN 1ST GEAR THEN SHE TURNED THE CAR BACK N WITHOUT PUTTING DOWN THE CLUTCH AND IT TOOK OFF…SHE TURNED IN ON IN GEAR. IT HAPPENS, AND SORRY ABOUT THE CAPS I REALIZE WHEN IT WAS TOO LATE
No way, man. The crash was due to an overturn, and given the driver’s amazing dexterity I am pretty sure the jumping was due to his/her misuse of the clutch. The latter could be justified if this was the driver’s fist time behind that car’s wheel; the former is just… Well, sheer, absolute and quite an epic fail.
that car don’t have automatic transmission! This is the reason why car jump. And woman just start to learn how to use MT!
Turn off the car. This saved me more than once and they taught it in my HS drivers safety course. However I have seen wrecked cars cause the driver couldn’t “think” fast enough.
*All this to say, “You’re smart and cool!”*
It’s a woman
Nah, it’s a trap.
I hope they don’t let the driver carry a handgun, too.
honey, I think i broke the car
uh….really? i think it’s just a little scratch…. >.>
women drivers…
First day with drivers permit.
*takes permit and burns it*
*takes keys and punts them to next county*
There fixed
…are hot.
Well, sometimes they are.
Yes. We are.
We’re also very, very good.
Though people like the doosh up there ^^^ will never get the chance to find that out.
Does the doosh down here get to find out?
Hey, go get your own bird.
Hee…!
*snork*
douche, not doosh
*facepalm*
*hands abstract an application to Humo(u)r 101*
toosh-ay !
Id love to find out more about your mind dragon
even if i don use proper grammar
*gets out tools for patching up the woodwork*
*snork*
Just make sure that you don’t hit the roof…we just fixed it!
You’re a girl?
Why do you keep doing that ** thing and why do you think people want to know about your actoin verbs?
yeah. Did you see the GUY that crushed his truck at the bank?
About sums it up
Third.
…today to get a free place in the troll cage!
*tazes Sean*
smell that men? That’s the smell of victory! FRIED TROLL!
I love the smell of napalm in the morning
Sorry, Jules, Now is not the time for an Apocalypse.
The horror!
This is the end. . .
Come on, baby, light my fire.
Can’t you see that I am not afraid?
Try to run, try to hide, break on through to the other side.
Oh, don’t ask why.
Into this world we’re thrown.
Riders on the storm…
i’m with you on that one
no, he can eat whatever he wants after dark, then there are no shadows.
woah, sorry nesting fail courtesy of fail blog.
Toonces?
Dunces?
Toonces ‘can drive a car’. The idjit ‘CAN’T drive a car’… clearly so. Still, LOVE the reference!
Toonces plunged over a cliff every time he drove. So, could Toonces really drive a car?
But he looked good doing it.
Classic! Loook Ouuuttt!
alright, 7th, lucky #. why would you inch, then gun it into the gate? people need to learn how to drive
manual transmission FAIL
I just can’t see it, it would have had to be a malfunction. I drive a manual, and have never had this issue. also, when panicked, I tend to steer away from walls and such. lol
She was probably having problems reaching around her girth to reach the sterring wheel properly and wworking the clutch, the gas, the break and the shifter. I can hear her overweight breathing even though there isnt any sound.
Your fat fingers aren’t very good at typing either. You should mash the keyboard with your hand and a special wand for pushing the buttons will be sent to you in the mail.
Your car has been crushed into a cube, you have thirty minutes to move your cube.
I thought I recognized you! I paid you a plate of corn-muffins back in 1947 to paint my chicken coop, but you never did it!
Those muffins were lousy!
And you may have hurt my feelings if I actually gave a damn about what a boy like you thinks. Oh and here’s your coupon for a free tummy tuck, seems like you need it since you took exception to my post.
No thanks, I’m quite healthy. I’m a level five vegan. I won’t eat anything that casts a shadow.
So you don’t eat plants either? That seems like a terrible way to off oneself.
*sighs* So, do you live in a country that doesn’t show The Simpsons or something?
Nope, I just don’t view them as the source of all wisdom.
sad, so sad. besides, he can eat whatever he wants after dark, then there are no shadows.
OMG LOVE THAT RESPONSE.
Neither do I, but that doesn’t stop me from quoting from it.
diana couldn’t think due to your loud sax playing.
Actually, I just have a flute in my nose.
*fixes BFF’s comment*
“diana couldn’t think due to your loud sex playing.”
That’s true. Loud sex always makes me have trouble thinking.
That’s funny. Loud thinking always make me have trouble having sex.
*throws up an s*
Eww.
I told you mr. cuddles, it supposed to go in the mouth, not the nose. You know what that means, bend over and take your punishment.
*busts out the crisco*
mr. cuddles:”*throws up an s*”
.
Funny, my cat does that a lot too.
did someone say sax?!?!?!?!
Um … yes?
If someone can play both soprano and baritone saxophone, are they considered bi-saxual?
I paid to see it once…
These guys ooze bi-saxuality…
.
Quote…”See and hear the incredible spectacle of 4 saxes being played simultaneously by 2 people”
This is truly an epic fail.
First reply to the reply
I feel sorry for the gate.
Yeah, We’re gonna need the lift fail for this one guys.
Notice that while she’s upside-down in the car, she hands out her purse before getting out. Hasn’t she ever seen Knight Rider or CHiPs? Doesn’t she know that if a car rolls over it’ll explode? GET OUT! SHE’S GONNA BLOW!
Not to be confused with Troll Sean – I only call out “first” or “third” in Portuguese.
Before driving, you must pass an anti-fail breath analyzer. This one failed to pass.
*gives props* I was trying to come up with a good way to say that. lol. Indeed
nice! thats what I do too when I roll my cars
I get out and walk away
fast
i find that running is helpful
I love the importance given to the woman’s handbag…
hahaha I’m glad you noticed that too….
I like how that guy at the end of the video take a look at the car and then leaves. He seems to be thinking “why do I never have such good ideas?”
Maybe he’s wondering if he can get by on the right and score a better parking spot.
“So this is what naught bits of a car look like.”
y!
*dunks*
It looked to me like he was covering his mouth so the others wouldn’t see him laughing.
She got into the back seat pretty fast.
Are you implying she is broad?
Isn’t she from Public Decency Fail?
Nobody likes a backseat driver.
What about a sidecar passenger?
Meh, she’s used to it with all her boyfriends and such.
WHAT boyfriends? And plural at that! Did you SEE that thing? I find it hard to believe she’s essentially a land mammal!
huh? definitely laws of physics fail. She ain’t goin fast enough to roll over Captain!
wait, which guy is called captain?
the one with the weiner!
I think it’s a miracle the car didn’t roll when she got in it… All it needed was a little bit of elevation on the opposite side. If she’d taken a right-hand corner too fast, this … wait, that was a right hand corner! Physics conundrum solved!
I study physics, yet I’m also amazed – how the hell is that possible??
(although if we saw what was a metre to the right, we’d probably find a straight answer)
anyway – unintentional stunt win
a metre to the left, not right – sry
how about an SAE to the left?
omg if the meter were to the right it is unthinkable what might happen
I think what happened was that the car’s right tire rolled up on the gate and pushed the gate back some so when the car went forward more the gate pushed back and flipped the car.
I’m wondering why the car was bouncing before it hit the gate.
best comment on thread – and I, too, am shaking my head as to what the right front wheel must have hit to have rolled the whole vehicle over at minimal speed!
It looks like her tire rolls up on the fence… rolling the car.
Unbelievable.. I don’t think she could’ve screwed that up any more. LOL!
I’m now going to be extra watchful of those cars with the “Student Driver” signs on them.
My Deities! It’s actually not fake!
No pixels in sight!
sure there are pixels, go to full screen mode and you will see them. Its a fake, if you zoom really closely that not a station wagon, its really a bicyle with a bear riding it.
Nah, it’s a guy in a yellow raincoat on a tricycle.
I beg to differ, upon closer inspection it is actually an elderly drag queen in a can-can outfit juggling boxes of Depends undergarments while riding a uni-cycle. You have to look past the photoshopped pixels, turn your head to the left and squint while sticking out your tongue.
Actually it’s not really a horse, it’s a broom.
there is no video
there are no pixels
Is that your big scoop journalist Bob? Well you are FIRED! *shakes the triple cheeks*
And there’s no way those two fireballs could have been fired that quickly.
This happened (or is believed to) few years ago here in Czech Republic. I ever read an article about how professional stunt drivers didnt quite get how she (the driver) pulled such a move off.
with a woman’s determination
with over acceleration.
THEY’RE ON TO US!! FLOOR IT!!!!
If you roll over and play dead they won’t attack you.
but they would probably take away your licence
Don’t fall for that lie, that how I wound up gagged, handcuffed to a bed and severly dehydrated and chaffed in several private areas.
Oh come on. That’s a typical Friday night with Mookie.
She never invites me, and the person who took me wore a mask and she never took it off.
Again, typical Friday night with Mookie. She feels that giving you a choice in the matter is unnecessary. The mask is for a slight autoerotic asphyxiation.
This week, on Friday night with Mookie…
in other words…you had fun?
Didn’t deny that fact, just wished I would have remembered to bring pedialyte, gatoraded and some Gold Bond healing lotion.
And a webcam, don’t forget the webcam.
Whaddaya mean? You don’t carry that around in a kit? Never leave home home without it!
The car rolled so easily because of the uneven weight distribution. That woman was so large that when the car was off balance to the driver’s side, it couldn’t rebalance and land on all four tires. Its the same physics that make hamster wheels work.
Same thing with sheep.
First excited reply to sheep mention
First reply to first reply to sheep mention
The van’s passenger side tire rode UP the gate post* by the wall and at the highest point the front driver’s tire is 4 feet off the ground, resulting with the engine and driver’s weight leaning way past center.
If she would have braked instead of stomping the gas she would still be a moron, but her van would be upright.
*you can see the gate post and gate at an angle after the flip
HAHAHA fail woman driver
Wrong tires.
Those are her off road tires.
ba-dum-ching
Rofl
Rodv
(Rolling on driveway in van)
Yes ! It’s a woman !
No surprize! It’s a woman!
no SURPRISE, it’s someone who can’t spell
Wow, and only 1 out 2 people are women!! What are the odds???
And with there being billions of them out there I still have hope of going on a date! Woohoo! there is hope!
I don’t know, apparently 1 of 2 are out, they may be uninterested in you.
50-50, I’d say
No surprise! It’s someone who can’t capitalize or punctuate!
That’s not even a fail… Women do it all the time!
Some do. But this time it´s the car that´s quickly on its back.
It looks like a shiny giant turtle on it’s back while wearing roller skates! I knew I shouldn’t have dropped acid when I was younger.
I see it too, and I haven’t dropped acid.
Just think about how much worse it would have been if you’d taken the acid rather than dropping it
(sorry, I’ve always thought it a silly term)
I feel that way about “taking a dump.” One is hopefully NOT taking it.
(agree)
Oh my god, you just correctly used an apostrophe twice, and even managed the difference between “it’s” and “its”. Where am I? Is this still the internet?
Strictly speaking, that was an acute accent, not an apostrophe.
Oh I do love it when a man speaks strictly in a cute accent!
The second use was NOT correct actually:
It’s = It is, ie, It’s clear the driver felt bad.
Its = possessive, ie. The car flipped because its driver was inexperienced.
Yeah! Men just crash it and kill everyone in the car!
you just need to add a “wo” in front of men in order to be correct.
Yet 18-25 year old males still hold the record for highest auto insurance premiums. I wonder why?
*has never been in a car accident*
*hasn’t either…although the husband has been in 4 to date*
Me neither!
*has never driven*
You’re too young, or just never fussed with it?
I ride a bike and find my self crashing to everything
I’ve been in two. The worst one was my fault, the minor one was a woman’s fault.
*was hit by a stupid male who blew a stop sign* The funny part about it was that he wasa car salesman….at the place I bought my car.
I got hit by a woman who blew a red light. What’s your point?
That bad drivers come from both genders. Duh.
That’s not true. I know plenty of transgender drivers who drive very well!
I remember my roommate in college showing this to me about 6 years ago. It’s an oldie, but a goodie.
it’s obviously a woman driver. I’ve seen them do worse things than this.
Yes, it’s obvious because a woman was the only person that got out of the car afterwards…
Man, this fail sure has inspired quite a bit of sexism. Click my name if you wanna see a comic along the same vein, though it’s not sexist, it’s more like awesome.
Eh, that’ll buff out.
Relax, all right? My old man is a television repairman, he’s got this ultimate set of tools. I can fix it.
Hey bud, let’s party!
nice driving skills
FIRST
Your girlfriend told me that you like to shout that in bed too. Lemme tell you: It´s not cool there and it´s not cool here.
*Snicker*
*claps*
the forum has been won.
*hands Arthur Eld the WIN throphy*
*bruce lee sees my mistake*
*bruce lee one inch punches my mistake*
*mistake is destroyed of existence*
THERE IS NO LONGER A MISTAKE
Nevermind. I take it, mistake or not. Thank you!
the mistake was i spelled trophy wrong
I know
old ..
mr Perfäct is not Mr. Perfect
ofc not , where the hell did you get that crazy idea from? =D *laughing like an evil genius*
Props to the dude who got her out of the car, though, and so calmly. As a woman, I’d have been screeching and calling the fire department.
crazy women drivers…
I would not even be able to *do* that!
How in the world…?
By the way. “She” is a he. So much for that.
It’s a woman. She’s a bit on the mannish side, but it’s a woman.
Wait a minute, if BAReFOOt is right then it’s not a purse, it’s a Eurpoean Carryall, right/
That’s an awfully big “if”.
It’s a woman.
I’m with you Avis, it’s definitely a woman.
Well, Eurpoea is an awfully big place.
That’s my mother Austin!!!
you know why the car flipped over? its cuz the driver is so fucking fat!! all the weight is on one side of the car!!!
Take it easy man, you should at least show your mum SOME respect. You now she got seriously depressed when she born you? Since then she´s not put down that fork. *Shakes head slowly* Too bad she missed you when you opened that gate.
Hey i have a great idea.
How about Fail Blog reposts 6 year old videos from Ebaums world.
This blows.
Easy Chewie.
Oh good one! You know what blows more? YOU DO! Nevermind, that was your dad last night
No one ken to ken to sivmen,
nor yon clees toju maliveh.
But I guess that’s just the way the story goes
hi
ho, hi ho, and off to work we go.
Like a glove!
Exactly what I was thinking.
I bet the driver is a woman !
I bet Agustin is retarded!
I bet Sweden wins the world cup in snow eating.
There is a world cup in snow eating? That could explain why the arctic ice disappears! “Climate change”… yeah right!
There is a world cup in snow eating? That could explain why the arctic ice disappears! “Climate change”…yeah right.
Fat WOMAN driver!
Take it easy man, you should at least show your mum SOME respect. You now she got seriously depressed when she born you? Since then she´s not put down that fork. *Shakes head slowly* Too bad she missed you when you opened that gate..
Oooh…I’m so disappointed. I thought the blueberry was a much cooler person than this.
*crosses him off list*
Where’s my dilly…? I need a pat!
*pat, pat, pat*
Will I do in a pinch?
Let’s find out…
*pinch!*
I said pinch, not goose!
Yeah, you’ll do.
*grin*
LOL!
Thank you!
Sorry sorry sorry I’m late!
*pat pat pat*
*squishes not-so-delicious-anymore blueberry*
Smoothie, anyone?
Eeewww!
No worries, he has been cobbled and buckled within an inch of his blåbär .
Hee!
“You know” “gave birth to you” “she’s”
I’ve watched a couple of times and I’m pretty sure she’s not checking her head for bumps, but rather fixing her hair at the end.
I think this is a composure win. Car upside down and yet the purse and the hair look magnificent!
Poor car
Rich bus
Middle-class station wagon
Lower-class tram
Upper middle-class yacht
Affluent jet
bailed-out upside-down table.
Upper class twit-mobile.
Conspicuous consumer Hummer.
Welfare vehicle \ Indigent bicycle
Uncultured unicycle
Posh Perambulator
Petit-bourgeois people-carrier.
P.S. hello. I’m new here
Yuppie minivan.
And hiya and welcome, pluss…erm, gaswh….
Hmm…
Hi you!
Cannabis Microbus.
I gots coffee!
AND did ya notice that “plussingaswhich” is a Skwerl!
Fred Flintstones’s Rockmobile
*sings “Rock On”*
Skwerls rock.
I agrees muchly.
*Falls in love* (IF you are female)
*shakes head*
Bob, you should be careful. You never know.
I’d have thought it would be easy to tell that I’m a
girlly skwerlly.
destitute subway
Head out on the highway
Looking for the fence dear.
Don’t crash into it, you could roll right over.
Born to be mi-i-ild.
*makes gnarly guitar noises with mouth*
*or at least attempts to*
short bus?
Bus error
Laws of physics suck
Just have the Republicans repeal them.
It’s funny because the woman was so fat.
Your name, Funnyboi, is funny because it’s ironic.
So, by your logic, skinny people are boring?
Did anyone else notice how the driver snatched her purse back? The man had attempted to help her get out of her overturned vehicle and she doesn’t trust him with an insignificant purse!
Gratitude fail.
Good Samaritan win.
It’s not a purse, it’s European!
I did so notice
Why is it that no-one points out when a fail is old?
I guess it’s a fail to point out old fails…
Fail to see my post pointing out this fail is old
*Fails to care*
Guess you missed comments 263293 and 263394.
Well actually it was 263293 and 263396!
GET
No, we’re just too polite.
Waaaaang
This could have been about a minute shorter.
That’s what she…
Oh, I just can’t.
Don’t give up now, you were almost there!
Isn’t that “don’t give up now, I was almost there!”?
I’m not sure. Ask me again this weekend.
This weekend I will be upside down, how can I ask you?
Type with your nose.
No, I cannot, my nose is the contrary of upside down. But maybe if I stay in the car until Monday, they will bring a crane and turn it over, so then I will think again of using my nose… But then, maybe i won’t need my nose for it, I could do it with my fingers. But no, wait, they got burned by that stupid iron when I tried to call my mom.
hi guys im new here
lol that was awsome
hope she’s okay
you look like Rambo. Are you also that strong? Then maybe you could turn over the car?
Dude, that’s Bruce Lee. He eats Rambo for breakfast.
You watch some weird porn.
I knew it!
*spurts coffee out her nose* Mikey D… you win the prize for making me LOL today. Thank you.
She will survive, stupid peaple are the last to die, somehow they always get lucky
She was not the driver. He is still inside, smoking his joint.
Me perceptions failed me.
And now, after finishing his joint, the driver is asking his wife why the view through his window is upside down, but she is not where she is supposed to sit, so he lights up another joint, just in case.
That has to be fake, no one is so bad that they can manage that!!
well, you try this with your car first, send us the video and than we will say if it is fake. Don’t forget the joint first, it will not work without, too much inhibitions.
yes, absolutely photoshop. it is a filter called upside down, just one click.
They can if their a woman
Yes, it is so fulfilling to hear from someone who is so obviously superior.
Welcome to 2009…this has been around for at least 3 years. Aren’t there any more good fails going on in the world for us FAIL losers to try to be witty about?
Well you could always just take a screenshot of half the comments on this picture, send it in, and call it “People Who Need To Learn Grammar Fail”
I really thing this was posted on here not too long ago, although in a shorter version…..am I wrong?
Yes sir!
… I mean No sir! read it “am I right?” xP
*I
not my day today, luckily for me its only 33 min to next day ^^
the*
Sorry guys gonna stop now, or else I´m gonna be tazed =/
haha. Okay, then maybe I saw it somewhere else, very, very recently but it was a shorter version. Oh, and it’s ma’am
Supreme fail.
One of the best.
just more proof that woman blow at driving
And we get still more proof that you suck at grammar!
Luck us! /sarcasm
more proof that people on the internet can’t tell singular from plural
What is this? the you’ve been framed blog. It’s really going downhill
Use of singular noun fail.
Complaining about grammar fail, besides after the vicar sitted on the potatoe it was hard to find something in the same level of that failure, not even the egg nuts.
Your name couldn’t possibly be more appropriate, could it?
FAKE…the tires aren’t spinning after the car flips, as they would be if the car was still in drive.
When she realised where her break pedal is (omg it is not the one on the righ!?) she probably did hit it, but it was already too late.
ahahhahahahhaha i like the Lada on the back, this is somehwere in East europe
In Czech Republic, women doesn’t drive cars. Cars drive them.
Wow, this video fails because it was staged for the single purpose of being put on the web… Expensive joke…
i just KNEW it would be a woman getting out of that car, probably a yank too, you don’t do manual transmission over there do you?
all coupled together for a really bad FAIL
You had a 50% chance of being right. Your psychic powers are incredibly impressive. Right up there with the Amazing Yappi.
(And yes, I and every other woman I know can drive a manual perfectly well, thanks. But hey, nothing beats having to think and form opinions like stereotypes and jumping to conclusions!)
I eat poop for breakfast
Maybe that’s why you are such a piece of crap?
just checking..
FAAAAIIIIILLL!!!!!!!!!!
beached whales never fail to beach, even on land
Wow. So I guess this is how a car becomes an IQ test…and he just got a 0. Congrats, retard!
Am i the only one that noticed the guy actually pressed the button on the key to lock the car doors before he left?
The rich get richer…
omfg this is not even funny
See, the Saudis at least have something right.
This is really EPIC parking fail…
I believe this was in Spain. I still can’t understand how she did it… probably she’s a stunt woman : )
This is why you should never give something on 4wheels to a woman…
I find it hilarious that the guy is holding the handbag like a dead smelly fish. Don’t you think?
well, maybe there is a fish inside. And maybe this is why all this happened: The driver (who is not the woman that got out! she is his wife only, he is still sitting in his car smoking his joint) told his wife please, go buy a fish for dinner today. What she did, at the market, and then they both drove home, a 5 minutes ride. She did not do it on purpose, buying an old fish, it was just lack of experience. When arriving, anyway,, the smell of the bad fish was already so strong that the driver went nuts- and this explains all the rest, and also why he needs now the joint.
How do I tumbled car?
I love the fact that about 35 seconds into this fail the gas filler door opens (look closely at the right). In case of overturned car, pull lever?
I love how the guy closes the door after the woman gets out. I gentleman always opens AND closes the door for a woman, even when her car is upside down…
This just in! Worlds worst driver, can flip car in shortest amount of distance! Probably an Asian woman.
Ok now that last part was unacceptable.
Whoa! Looks like they didn’t even call the police and the lady came out like it was nothing. haha
Driving fail. Notion of space fail. Fitness fail.
This woman is a moving externality. She should be overtaxed.
No wonder it’s a lady :/
Women…
My favorite oart was the way he closed the door after assisting the driver! So responsible!
Polish women ftw!!!!!!!!
whenever my GF thinks im a fuck up with everything i will show her this video.
ahhhh snap I submitted this and got no love.
Fail.
Sheesh……..Way to go for the cause……You put women behind the wheel back 100 years….(hides head in shame)
Yes, quite the mistake.
The driver is obviously missing a chromosome that has been identified by scientists as being essential to competent driving – they cal it the “Y” chromosome
How the hell do you fail that bad?
repost fail
women shouldn’t drive standards
I was so pissed at my roommate I took a shit between his mattress and box spring. I then put the mattress back on top and put the sheets back on the bed and placed a little piece of shit on top of his pillow. He will clean up the shit on the pillow but things will still stink. This way it will take him a while to figure out where the stink is coming from.
i had to watch it to the end, just to see,
and sure enough, my hunches were confirmed,
woman driver
shit
In soviet russia, the car parks you!
This one never gets old haha
F*cktards @ YouTube suspended the account again…
The roof of the building bounces, is this a fake?
typical woman
This is why women are said to be bad drivers. It’s not sexist, it’s just true XD
PHOTOSHOP! You can see the pixels!
^_^
This is what happens when you try to challenge the gate!
obviously a woman!
File embed fail!
Video removed due to DMCA = FAIL
One question. HOW???!!
must be a manual
now see that takes skill i would never be able to do that
DO A BARREL ROLL!!
U KNOW WHOS FAULT THIS WAS????
Look Who Has To Go Back To Driving School?
How Do You Change Your Avatar?
This is the skilled fail of a woman!