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» 485 Failures in Communication
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I’ll book them to play at my wedding! Oh, wait. I’m already married. Never mind.
This is a moron failure, the amp is in perfect condition.
for a trampoline
I like how he supplied his own rim shot.
He must be very flexible.
*snork!*
*pork*
Oh, wait, that sounds bad, also.
*spork!*
Where is TS19/20 anyway?
*retort*
I don’t know who that is.
*report*
She’s in college, so she’s probably busy with the beginning of her semester.
*resort*
Somewhere warm and sunny, please.
*tree fort*
No Boys Allowed! Hehe, just kidding.
*contort*
Hah you can’t keep me out… I’m bendy!!!
*crunch* or not…
*export*
We can certainly send you away!
*gigglesnort*
Avis, you always get me laughing!
*seaport*
Anchors away, my boys!
*petit mort*
Come back soon!
*dort*
…zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…
*mork mork mork!*
Swedish chef.
*exhort*
WAKE UP!
*comport*
Thank you kindly for waking me up, let me straighten my hair here.
*sort*
**gets himself in order**
*bloodsport*
We who are about to die salute you!
*zort!*
Try to take over the world?
*Rappaport*
I’m not!
*short*
This is why I switched from tazers to dart guns.
*woot*
*extort with cohort*
Give me and my friend all your lunch money!
*Fjord*
Geology!
*bjork*
weird music…
*Fnord*
Conspiracy
“We need more *Bort* license plates in the gift shop…”
*Orange*
*?*
*post mort*
“It is our final conclusion that the humor in this post died from the blunt-force trauma of several mediocre contributions…”
*flogs blog*
I had a nice long comment that the Blogmonster just ate… take 2!
*(tele)ports*
Hi all! Yup, busy. I was helping some exchange students study Spanish last night, since I’ve taken it for years and they were clearly struggling. Besides that, all my classes are in the morning, which is usually when new fails are put up. I’ve gotten behind and can usually be found on page 4, trying to catch up. But I do drop in for new fails occasionally!
*Mork*
nanu nanu
*takes to court*
why did the bassist have to fall? why couldn’t the lead or rhythm fall… it makes me fell bad to be a bassist… and i’m sure mike huckabee feels the same
Because he’s the bass player, silly. Now he’s going to have to get someone to tune it for him.
Thnks for the weapon Koosemose. I think someone fed the rainbow lady fnord.
*quick sort*
Ouch! The bass!
*Play ina fort*
hey sorta new here so…. whatsup?
*serves a tort*
please sign here, do you have a business card?
telephone game FAIL
*im short*
when it rains, im always the last to find out…
*port*
not starboard.
sheesh, dude!
C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER!
I meant on the drums. . . not the other thing.
We know. That’s why her reply was so frikkin’ funny.
It was insanely funny, best laugh on here for a long time.
Whaddya call a guy that hangs around with musicians?
A bass player! (badump bing)
Am I the only one to notice they have like the smallest amps ever? I can’t imagine that any sound comes out of them.
the bassist is SO out of tune, the drummer is out of synch, i dont think the guitarist knows where his E string is, and the singer sounds like a little girl. i think they should all eat their instruments and crap out more emo music.
wait…did they even play?
amp win!
“1 – action – 3!”
Counting? Who needs it?
LMAO!(sorry I replied to you. Didn’t know how else to poast this comment………..)
LOL
SUE THE AMP MANUFACTURER – EMOTIONAL DAMAGES DUE TO PRODUCT FAIL!!! (this is the USA, after all…)
Hi Sue! Do ya think you could manufacture an amp for me?
Sue! D’you like…bread?
USA fails my friend.
Sue me for saying this.
first
Troll! Where is BFF’s tazer?
I think it’s in Lunchie’s pants with the innuendo machine. Here, borrow my dart gun. You can tranq the trolls and then leave them for Ryannon.
Thankee!
*puts poison on the pointy end, lines up victim,FIRES*
no, he gets his tazers exclusively from me. so there my be some in LB’s pants, but those are no official ones.
How much do you charge?
About 2.1 milliamps.
*cries because she knows it should be in Coulombs*
You use those tazers on humans and you get changed with assault and battery.
*Ahem* charged*
jingle bells
Good thing they’re not for humans then.
Nope! Trolls don’t have rights, so we CAN abuse them! Mua ha ha… Mua ha ha ha ha ha HA HA HA HA HA! *spartan kicks troll into pit of death* THIS ! IS FAILBLOG!
*peers into pit of death*
Is that…ELVIS?!
>.> <..> <.< *slowly inches over to BFF to Spartan kick him into the Pit-O-Death for discovering his secret… But then thinks better of it knowing everyone would murder him for it*
Wise choice.
Yes, that’s Elvis alright. And I think I can make out the Roswell aliens.
Is that a WMD?
*tazes self before someone else could do so… His finger gets stuck on the button* “Oh ((ZZZZZ)) crap!!! (((ZZZZZZ)) Someone ((ZZZZZZ)) help me! I ((ZZZZZ)) smell some((ZZZZZ))thing burning!!!”
At least ((ZZZZZ)) he hasn’t ((ZZZZZ)) realized ((ZZZZZ)) that’s where ((ZZZZ)) Waldo is ((ZZZZZ)) hiding!… Is it o((ZZZZZ))… Fudge pops!… ((ZZZZ))
waking dreams?
Dear god, man! You’re on fire!
*throws water on him*
*tazer goes berserk*
Oops…
Kinky!
They converted.
It’s about time they did, and they didn’t give it a second thought.
It was only a minute change.
*admires your hourglass figure*
Mmmm. So is the big hand on 12 or 6?
It’s high time you see for yourself.
*opens eyes*
Oo. Hands on both 9 and 3 at the same time…
*sweeps hands*
*feels pulse quicken*
Looks like the two of you have synchronized your mechanisms.
Diana.
Failblog Rule #3: you never…EVER…get in the middle of a Dragon-Admiral seductive pun-run.
*boots Di out of the thread*
Damn. Now I’ve lost track of the time. When were we?
Psst…no need to interrupt them…
Hee! I tried for ya.
Thank you!
*boot*
*looks forward to our private time*
And then all our troubles will be in the past.
*gets out the popcorn and hands Mookie some batteries* It’s show time!
*sigh…*
Don’t be too hard on her. She’s travelling, and she misses me.
*pat pat pat* (although you’ve done this to me:) )
OK LEAVE THEM ALONE!!
I did??
Woops. Sowwy. It wasn’t intentional.
And it’s okay, you guys can have the thread. Our time on it has passed.
I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to!
Trust me. They’re official.
Not an official fail like the lyric fail here:
Not as official as the lyric fail here:
youtube.com/watch?v=gB_7UakqUcs
Not as official as this lyric fail here:
On YouTube, the video’s url code is watch?v=gB_7UakqUcs
Not as official as this YouTube lyric fail:
The video’s unique ID code is gB_7UakqUcs
I trust you know where to put it.
Not as official as the epic lyric fail on the link you go to if you click my username.
What lyrics fail harder than that?
obvious troll is obviously trolling. and failing
didnt-see-that-one-coming-fail
Weren’t you fiddling while something burned?
He was diddling, not fiddling.
say what? Can’t hear you through the fire
FIRST
LAST!!
*tazes both Frosty and Pollyanna*
Ah, I love the smell of justice.
I swear I saw “tastes” at first and thought, “Well, that makes sense for the Frosty, but what about Pollyanna?”
I think someone’s Freudian slip is showing.
I think I’ve been reading too many Mookie/loufail comment threads.
I think you have. They make you think too hard…hard…hard…
Snap out of it, Bondfan!
*slaps self*
That’s better.
This fails even harder:
On YouTube, the harder-failing video’s unique ID is watch?v=gB_7UakqUcs
*dropkicks Frosty into Pit-O-Death and then hits Pollyanna with a spin heel kick to the jaw and hit him with a Spartan Kick into Pit-O-Death*
We can’t possibly let them live BFF, taze them, and then throw them in the pit!
Yay, another roleplayer. How does one go about living BFF, anyway?
Well, it involves (at least in part) having two personalities that get along really well.
Hey Diana! Where do you live?
San Diego! That’s a recent development, though. Why? *starts insulating her windows against rogue skwerl attacks*
Ooooo, I know San Diego very well I was shanghaied by the US Navy for a while. I can tell you all about it!
San Diego, Ocean Beach, Coronado, La Jolla, Chula Vista, Imperial Beach, etc. etc.
SB, you missed the important stuff: Black’s Beach, Torrey Pines, Del Mar (my old stompin’ grounds), Encinitas, Leucadia, etc etc… of course, that’s my important little opinon. Diana, you gotta make it up to the La Paloma Theatre for Rocky Horror… it’s a riot! It’s in Encinitas, if I remember.
As it happens, I’m living in La Jolla – not the super-nice part; I’m in graduate housing.
And now that I’ve referenced San Diego, my upper-right corner ad is for employment opportunities there. Oh, Failblog, you and your targeted marketing…
That’s just silly.
No it’s not… my personalities like each other… well most of them, but he’s just kinda weird!
I was kind of hoping he’d go over the wall.
Or the amp would blow up and send him flying.
.
Yeah, I’m sadistic like that.
To be honest, I was expecting some sort of fire, too.
Or at least smoke.
It would’ve been better if they just played Guitar Hero
And there were real rocks involved.
And nuts and balls and potatoes. Potatoes make all fails better.
“I fell on it during a concert, I swear! It was a million to one shot, doc!”
probably even better if they were playing Rock Band…
Rock and a hard place.
Oh lawdy, that is genious.
He was on a roll.
He was practicing for the Headbanger’s Ball.
They were going to play “Falling from Grace”.
They were going to play “Falling Away”.
I hear they’re opening for Fall Out Boy.
They’re about to sing “will you catch me when I fall?” (Barenaked Ladies) and the answer would have been “no”.
They opened with “Catch me I’m falling” by Toni Gonzaga.
Pretty poison indeed.
Their favorite album is ELO’s “Face the Music”.
But their favorite song is “Face Down” by Red Jumpsuit Apparatus.
(And I found their Facebook page!)
Was there a potato on the ground when he fell?
Rock music hurts your brain
Thank the stars BBF came in!
WOOOHOOOO!!!!
*sigh*
*pat pat pat*
*floats down from an umbrella*
*SQUEEZE*
*jumps into his own top-hat which then collapses*
They were going to play “Fallin’ Apart”.
first
LAST AGAIN!!
This is what happens when people like me (i.e. moderately clumsy and with minimal talent) think that Guitar Hero and Rock Band are just like the real thing.
They’re not?
*pats Dalkorian on the head* Oh, honey, of course they are. And Operation is just like real surgery.
That game is insane! “Don’t worry, son, as long as you don’t touch the edges, he’ll make it out of the surgery alive.” BZZT! How traumatizing.
And Dominoes is just like real Pizza.
*shoots Bob with her dart machine gun* Gotcha!
Nice one!
*picks dead mercenary chipmunk out of hair*
So…whatcha gonna do with him now?
Well, my plan was to auction him off to closeted Republican congressmen, but that seems unspeakably cruel. I think perhaps I’ll do what Avis suggested and dress him up in funny outfits so I can post photos on ICHC. Unless you have a better idea?
I have a much more sinister plan.
Auction him off to a uber-left wing socialist hippie, tree-hugging, granola-eating, Birkenstock-wearing, endangered owl-loving, vegan environmentalist.
He won’t last a week.
Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
She can keep me!
She can dress me up silly!
Avis can try strange new recipes on me!
You can test new tasers on me!
Pleeeeeeeeeeeease?
SB, we are sending Dick Cheney to rescue you.
.
You submit, do you hear? You be strong, you survive… You stay alive, no matter what occurs! He will find you. No matter how long it takes, no matter how far, he will find you.
Yeah, but would SB survive HIM!?
On second thought, maybe Cheney was not the right man for the job.
.
SB, duck!
Send Chuck Norris! Quick!
Chuck Norris? He eats skwerls like you for breakfast!
Chuck and Cheney are friends. Are you SURE you want us to send Chuck?
LOL?
I assume you accidenty a “don’t” somewhere in there.
*Snicker*
No, we need SB. He is the union Rep. for the hamsters running the power wheels that keep Failblog failing.
No, no. I meant between the “You” and the “submit” for your 2:36p post. Unless you wanted him to submit?
Oh. Submit is part of the quote.
“Last of the Mohicans” 1992 movie not 1971 or the book.
I bow to the genius of a mind far more evil than my own. He’s all yours, as soon as Avis yanks the string on her box trap.
Excellent. I have the perfect one in mind. She has those awful white-person-dreadlocks and thinks that razors are a patriarchal tool of evil and absolutely loves to feel the wind riffling through her leg hair.
Click on my name!
*hopes it worked*
Oh my gosh I nearly fell on the floor laughing. That’s brilliant…and terrifying.
You should see the other cards at the same site!
Best One:
http://www.candyboots.com/wwcards/fluffymackpudding.html
Once upon a time the world was young and the words “mackerel” and “pudding” existed far, far away from one another.
One day, that all changed. And then, whoever was responsible somehow thought the word fluffy would help.
Oh, and eggs, too.
I guess we have a new pudding for the bukkit now.
I hope Coyote got that link before he left… I was sitting here covering my mouth snickering and tearing up in laughter …that is some funny, funny sh!t !
Well that settles it, tonight I skip dinner.
Which one did it, Marius?
*shakes with barely contained laughter*
Pretty sure just about any of those would do it. Although I have to admit the all-green one is one of the worst, if not the worst.
I found the diet “cocktails” to be particularly disgusting. And the salmon mousse.
Are you two trying to get me to skip breakfast as well?
How in the name of all that’s holy is that jelly?
*Blarf!*
My mother found this site and made me read it out loud. I almost peed I laughed so hard. By the time I got to inspiration soup I was in tears.
(I do a great “voice” that goes with that one)
Judging from the comments, I am SO glad I skipped the clickie.
Judy, the site is harmless. As long has you’re not a gourmet.
*snickers*
Omg…it’s just as good as the Gallery of Regrettable Foods.
(Clickie my name!)
Avis, that’s wonderful. The link didn’t work earlier, but now I’m inspired.
It’s weight watchers cards from about 1974. With commentary. It’s not lascivious or anything.
SB posted it too. Try his link. It’s up there somewhere.
Or my 12:23 comment should do it.
Methinks the pictures were enough to put anyone off food for long enough to lose plenty of weight. Weight Watchers: making you lose your appetite since 1974!
Apparently they all shared one common ingredient. Dehydrated onion flakes!
Except for the coffee “snacks on sticks”.
From now on, I will order all tomato products to be served in a snifter.
I found the Flickr group that is re-creating those horrible recipes. Clickie my name.
OMFG Fluffy, that’s absolutely fabulous!!!
Just a small bit of info, Fluffy the Wendy in that flicker set? Candybootsis her website. She wrote all the commentary about those cards.
I really got confused for a moment about who “Fluffy the Wendy” was.
OMFG! That’s even funnier looking at the Flicker Group and reading their comments.
*sigh*
I’ll take that bukkit now.
Clickie my name for my favorite rendition of a recipe.
It’s not so much the photo that I like, like the comment under it.
Holy crap, that comment nearly killed me.
Oh. My. Gawd.
YOUR SISTER! Nooooooo!
ROFL!!! His new name will be Harmonia!
The distant hills call to me.
Their rolling waves seduce my heart.
Oh, how I want to graze in their lush valleys.
Oh, how I want to run down their green slopes.
Alas, I cannot.
Damn the electric fence!
Damn the electric fence!
Thank you.
Beautiful!
*wipes a tear*
Just beautiful!
Go check out convenience fail. You might want to use a REAL gun.
Oh, he’ll suffer. I’m not worried about retribution for his violation of my personal space. It’ll happen.
Ha Ha! You fail!
*summons Internet magic command set*
*adds an “o” changing the word “Bob” to “Boob” in Di’s comment*
*watches her collapse in a heap* Gotcha!
*shoots her in the butt with the lithium she badly needs*
*scampers off*
That works only if you can be certain it’s my boob. As it happens, even the Internet magic command set cannot alter intent, thus the darts hit my designated target – YOUR boob, Bob. Thanks for the lithium, though! *cackles manically*
*looks down and all around*
Hmmm, no boobs here… *scampers off looking for boobs*
*knows that when he finds them, thus taking possession of them, the darts will hit him* Have fun!
Hey Avis!
Hey Dragonwriter!
This new girl is really fun! Can we keep her?
I know she’s not quite as insane as most of us,
but I’ll bet she’ll get better!
Huh? Can we? Can we? Can we? Pleeeeeeeease?!
Well, since it seems she’s decided to keep US, it seems the least we can do.
Di, from henceforth, you will be accused of being in a clique.
Or a “click” by the linguistically challenged.
You will be a target for trolls, and your sacred duty as a troll-squasher will be called upon often.
You can beat people up for cribbing your name or your schtick.
You can find a “Failmate” to flirt with and have illicit (or licit…or even internationally pornographic) online affairs with.
Just watch out for the skwerl. He’s a tricksy one.
Oooh, I get to punish the trolls in a denizens-of-Failblog-sanctioned manner? I’m sold. I’m not worried about the skwerl; his fondness for acorn cookies makes him plenty manageable.
dianatheinsane welcome to the elitist set. If you see that wastrel from yesterday, I shall not utter its name, feel free to stomp on it for me.
Dragon quick note to all: The doctor is sticking me in for my next session today. He already told the hospital and they have everything set up. He just didn’t bother to tell me that the fun and games are about to start again. Oh well. Say hi to everyone for me and I’ll be back in less(?) than a week.
Shit.
Best of luck, my coyote friend, and I’ll have the lime popsicles waiting for you when you get back!
*smooooooooooch*
*hugs coyote*
Yes, coyote, we’ll all be thinking of you while you are away from the blog. Best of luck to you my friend.
addendum: My avatar is now out of date. Saturday I had what was left of the cranial follicles shaved off. I’ve got a Yul Brynner thing going now.
So you got a Zorb thing going now? Dilly will be most pleased!
I know that she will be letting me have it for this, but Zorb?
Bald guys are hawt. Just sayin’.
Best of luck, indeed. Thanks for the warm welcome; I look forward to more of your “elitism” when you return and promise to stomp on all the trolling wastrels.
Coyote…clickie my name for the Zorb fail!
Coyote, I’ll contact some friends and see it they can put on a show outside your window while you’re laid up. Watching their antics will help you get your mind off of stuff or dream up new recipes. See ya soon!
*supports Coyote too* We’ll be here cheering you on. Or offering lime popsicles and Monty Python. Whichever is best.
I think I’m kind of floating on the edges of the clique. I defended a troll or two when I first joined.
Oh you’re A-OK Spork. When you first get here, it can be hard to know who the trolls are. You’ve joined ranks.
Good luck Coyote. See you when you return.
Ditto to all the wishes expressed by others. All the best hopes for you, Coyote. Really sorry I didn’t get to know you before the badness hit. My thoughts are with you. See you soon!
Mon Frere Coyote, be well and return soon. I have missed your departure; I will miss your spirit even more.
.
Gang, whomever “speaks” to Coyote, please pass to him my warmest thoughts and wishes.
Don’t forget to give her a tazer, a sham-wow,
a red marker and cookies.
*eagerly accepts Failblog newbie pack along with its requisite responsibilities* I, Dianatheinsane, do faithfully swear to faithfully execute all the trolls I encounter, faithfully.
Congratulations, dianatheinsane. Welcome, to FailMENSA.
*shakes hand*
Here is your first tazer. Use it well. And the charger.
*shakes hand*
Why thank you! I hope that this tazer works better than the black-market one I’ve been using. It tends to short out on me.
Let me see that tazer.
*turns on*
BYAHH!!!
*twitches on ground*
*puts on heavy rubber gloves that she borrowed from Mookie before cautiously approaching BondFan* Are you okay?
*jumps up, scaring daylights out of dianatheinsane*
Sorry ’bout that, small shock. We’ll need to dispose of this safely.
*tosses into troll cage*
Let them play with it.
*leaps several feet into the air* YIKES!
I might need that to shock my heart back into its normal rhythm. Also, should we really be giving the trolls weapons? Are we relying on their fundamental tendency to fail at everything to protect us?
It’s perfectly safe. Before we put them in the troll cage, we reduced their intelligence to that below amoeba. But for some reason, they have retained their natural calls of “FIRST!” “*masturbates*” and “PHOTOSHOPED!?!!?!!11″.
Hmmm. Well, that makes me feel better. On the other hand, it saddens me that trolls have evolved so poorly.
Yes, it is depressing to see such retarded animals. Which is why we usually don’t kill them. Just leave them in the cage. Then taze them occasionally.
We do have a Foundation in the desert we could send them to.
Congrats, Di! It’s not often the tazers are granted to anyone. As I suspected, you are indeed, one of the special ones. Use this new power wisely, and you will be rewarded.
Is Zorb fail cheating on me with EVERYONE?? *sobs*
Come back, baby. I’ll stop that nonsense with the mailman.
*pat pat pat*
*BAWWWWWWWWWWWW* I love Zorb, and Zorb loves me, so what’s the problem? I’m willing to work on it but it just wants to knock over Colleen. And liquor stores…
*sees shiny cookies on a plate under an unattended box*
Mmmmm!
Yanks string. OH DIANA!!!
*cheers* Yay, Avis! *slides piece of cardboard under box* Hey, Dragonwriter! He’s all packed up and ready for transport!
*slaps a “Mail to Eugene, Oregon” sticker on the box*
[muffled sounds] “I’ll get you, I’ll get you ALL!”
*pounds on box walls*
*pushed patchouli potpourri into air hole*
*wondered why verbs are now in past tense*
*drags everyone back to the present tense before duck-taping the box firmly to the floor*
It was a typo, hammykins.
*ker-splortch!*
Whoa, almost stepped on SB there!
(You’ll have to try harder next time, Admiral…)
*busts out of box*[no busts remember?]
*breaks out of box*
*grabs cookies and patchouli*
*scampers crazily away*
[BTW: Patchouli has double the effect on skwerls that rue does. Thanks Admiral!]
*salutes*
Put that away, Bob! You’ll scar the children!
The hallucinogenic effects of that patchouli are working! Poor SB thinks he’s escaped, muahahaha!
*calls from far away, up in his tree house*
See ya tomorrow Diana? It was great fun!
INFO: (if you catch me)
I wear a skwerl size 3 hat, have a 7.5″ waist, 4″ collar and a 9″ tail. I don’t wear shoes, but sandals or flip flops are OK. I will NOT wear pink or lavender and my favorite herbal shampoo has an oaken scent to it. I will wear baby doll clothes only in private, but nothing with lace.
Further guidelines as needed, just keep me away from Dragonwriter’s sister in Oregon!
*starts planning a series of disgustingly cutesy outfits*
Ta, ta; enjoy your hallucinatory freedom!
*finds pink AND lavender lacy tutu with the matching ballet slippers for tomorrows photo shoot*
*finds box of make-up as well*
*evil grin*
*gives Avis one of the apostrophes she stole on another thread*
A simple Crown with a large Ruby and a stately white uniform with gold embroidery and a white ermine cape will do nicely. I will be coronated on the grounds of the Impregnable Sock Fortress before all my subjects.
A white ermine cape?!? How incredibly cruel!
Also, the LHC link is f*ing hilarious.
…And now, the news.
In a coup, Kind Skwerlly was ousted by Avis and dianatheinsane. He is currently under interrogation, by being dressed in frocks and dresses.
*snickers* “Kind” Skwerlly.
Yes, he was a very charitable monarch while he ruled.
Anyway, what shall we do with him?
Hmmm. Well, in light of his charitable nature, perhaps we need not send him off to Oregon. For the moment, I’m content to leave him dressed in a frilly pink tutu, green high heels, and a Pretty Pretty Princess crown.
Hang on, with Obama closing Guantanamo and all, should we be allowing this kind of thing?
Yes.
Most definitely yes.
I supposed that depends on whether you think the Bill of Rights applies to skwerls.
Don’t forget the purple glittery eye shadow and neon pink lipstick!
Can we dress him in a tutu and teach him to water ski?
Hee! And by teach, you mean cinch a line around him and drag him behind the failboat, right?
Didn’t the failboat sink?
…OOooooooohhh.
Um. Nevermind.
Surf’s up, Skwerlly!
We can tape it and use Wipeout for background music.
We’d make a fortune! If we can stop laughing long enough to hold the camera steady.
Surfing Skwerl Videos! Do you think we could make an infomercial selling them with Shamwows as free gifts?
Maybe if Billy Mays and the ShamWow guy teamed up…
But no, that’s just a fantasy. Something that awesome would ever happen.
We need the footage of him staying comically just out of reach of a large shark, running on top of the water as fast as his little feet can manage, all the while tucking his tail in to avoid the snapping jaws.
…and shrieking, “WOOOOhoohoooooooo!!” the whole time.
Wow. I *almost* feel bad for Bob at the thought of all the ingenious ways we’ve come up with to torture him. Then I remember that he jumped inside my flameproof suit and looked down my shirt, and it all seems justified. Mwahahaha…
Guys, I hate to disappoint you all, but Bob enjoys it.
.
(Hope I haven’t ruined it for you Bob)
At least we get some enjoyment out of it this way.
Yeah, actually, if Bob enjoys it, then it’s a win-win all around.
DW, the FailBoat didn’t sink, we just eat off it now. Turn it over and it’ll be ready to go. Of course, the pic was in Florida, so there may be a risk of gators…
Shouldn’t have stopped there…it’s gator country.
This guy should probably learn to play slide guitar.
Or the violent.
If he keeps up that act he’ll be playing the Castanets or worse the Harp.
It’s a cinch that he won’t be playing with his flute for a while.
OBOES! He fall down go boom!
Sowwy…I hab a code id by dose.
He got tired of people ridiculing him, so he joined them and became a sitarist.
Guess he will have to fender for himself now.
He’s learned that Les is more.
I guess he’s not fretting it anymore.
He decided to participate in the picking [on] rather than continue fretting about it all.
It will make him a little nuts though if he doesn’t bridge the gap.
He’s really smart, though…he graduated Phi Beta Capo.
He’s tired of playing second fiddle. He just needs to drum up the courage to do something about it.
He feels like everyone’s just been stringing him along all this time.
Dragonwriter: “He’s really smart, though…he graduated Phi Beta Capo.”
.
I heard that he had to slide into it though.
He’s just trying to play it by ear.
Ew, that hertz.
He did that well only because he had an entire staff to take notes for him.
Hopefully he’ll be able to pickup where he left off.
He’s a square peg in a round hole.
Weemawee!!
The worst part is, he’s really strung out.
He needs to get back in the saddle again.
Or he’ll be completely beat.
Smooth move ex-lax.
pf…
Three people not getting the first comment claiming first? This must be a record or something.
Nah. The record is seven.
Seven!? Hecks no, it’s more like eleventeen.
First!
At sucking…
Does anybody else have the “Want to be a Guitar God Really Fast?” ad in the upper right hand corner right now? I do, and it’s cracking me up. I can’t decide if these guys need to buy it or already bought it.
no I have “Giant Gummy Bear on a stick”
I do! HAHAHA! It’s almost like the ads pull from the posts. Have you noticed that?
They do, I had ones that were advertising “Coyote” and “Medica” products one night.
Just mention Wal-M*rt one time. Then see how the ads react!
All I get is that f*cking gummy bear.
It’s coming to kill you later.
Don’t even joke about that. I could swear it’s looking right at me.
*rustle*
What was that?! Excuse me, I must retrieve my knife from the kitchen…
Don’t worry, you can just melt the bastard.
But what if it turns into an amorphous blob that can’t be killed? It will ooze under my door when I’m asleep.
Now I’m really scared.
Somebody definitely read too many Goosebumps novels as a child.
We’ll just get you a whole bunch of bukkits to contain it.
You should be. It told me it’s going to hide in your closet until you fall into a fretful half-sleep, then come out, smiling creepily, and smother you with a pillow.
Great. Now I’M gonna have nightmares too!
It’s all part of dilly’s Failmare© service; it’s an offshoot of her earworm business.
…hmmm hmm Gummy bear hmm hmm….
Great, now that song’s gonna be stuck in my nightmares.
Dashing and daring,
Courageous and caring,
Faithful and friendly,
With stories to share.
All through the forest,
They sing out in chorus,
Marching along,
As their song fills the air!
And we’re coming to f*cking kill you!
*weeps as her childhood lies shattered on the Failblog floor* Dilly, you’re just too cruel. :’(
*smiles creepily*
I had to go back and look.
1. Yes, I have that ad there too.
2. Thanks for making me break tradition and actually pay attention to an ad.
I guess that proves you are insane – or I’m equally insane – or I’m gullible.
It proves something, I just don’t know what yet.
I have Hugh Downs Reports. Are these ads age appropriate?
I don’t think so. Otherwise I’d be getting the Amigone ads.
You’re 88?!?
shortest music video ever.
Which makes it one of VH1’s top 10 of 09.
The gods of rock knew he was wearing a vest, and so they struck him down.
Only Jeff Beck is permitted to wear a vest.
Jeff Beck is a god. He does not ask for permission, he gives it.
Who told the dumbass to jump on the amp, seriously? Watching him jump through it would have been a little funnier, and more expensive.
The spring reverb is getting a little worn out, and needs an extra whomp.
…they also suck
I believe the cameraman thinks so, too…
Big rock band with their big stage show and their little walmart amps.
I know! This would not have happened if they’d bought the amps at Costco like mom advised them!
pppffffff they never listen.
I have practice amps bigger then those.
(at least that’s what I keep telling her)
Anyone else reminded of the “3 little monkeys” song?
But then where are the crocodiles?
Oops, wrong monkeys…
Its a FAIL regardless of him falling off lol
Do not /dance on loose amps, “stuns for 10 seconds”.
Rock Amp Fail?
More like clumsy douchebag fail.
Do you think the amp was turned up to 11? Now that would ROCK!!
No. No it would not.
Oooh. Shut down.
Spinal Tap WIN
I bet this is the first time he is GLAD he doesn’t have a full stack.
Definitely not playing with a full stack.
How is that an amp fail? It’s a tard-standing-on-an-amp fail, if anything!
It is a fail involving an amp.
fail + amp = amp fail.
QED
rawk and fail !!
\m/
Great, now he’s go home and really cut himself.
I think you accidenty a few words there.
This belongs on “Engrish.com”…
haha. damn bassists
haha. damn breasts
I admit, I misread Jonny’s comment as that the first time around. I liked it better that way.
Yeah, that’s some delicious bass!
” It was a really bad idea ” I think it was a great idea! Made me laugh anyways!
That looks a lot like Cal Poly, is that on the PCV parking garage..?
I was up in SLO a couple months ago. I don’t recognize the buildings in the background, but those hills look like they could be pretty much anywhere in coastal central California. So it is possible anyway.
actually, it is cal poly on top of the poly canyon garage structure… cerro vista is in the back ground, they’re the apartment dormitories for freshmen and sophomores. yeah.
yeah this is definitely at cal poly. this is close to the newer buildings. SLO is the best town in the world.
You’re bringing back memories. I’ll be going back in March, for a few
days, to visit. I still get a little homesick.
You ever been to Klondike Pizza in Arroyo Grande? There was one in Santa Maria, too… best pizza EVER!!!
So, what would you do-o-o for a Klondike pizza?
mr. sausage. Or DrDr. Or even, maybe, the troll whom we shall not name, from yesterday. On second though, I don’t think so. But, I would pay lots of money…
Would you stand on one leg? Would you kill a man??!
Would you kill a one-legged man?
Depends. Is he a pirate? I would never kill a pirate. I respect them too much.
Unless he killed a fellow pirate…do I still have to respect a pirate if he disrespects other pirates?
I demand Parlay!
Butter
Margarine.
Oleo.
I can’t believe it’s not.
I Can’t Believe It’s Not!
Damn it, hammykins!
Parkay!
Partay!
My thoughts are not free for capitalization. I was merely expressing my disbelief. What did you think I meant?
No, I hit “Add comment” and realized as my comment went through and appeared that you had already had the same idea that I had and posted more quickly. There was no confusion as to your meaning.
So instead you’re invading my thoughts? That’s even worse!
Well, at least you Have thoughts!
How can someone fail at standing on a box? Marvellous
This is a rock amp fail. His amp appears to have been made from wood.
was this video taken on the roof of poly canyon at calpoly slo?
yes.
So it wasn’t the Beatles’s rooftop concert then?
Some kind of insects anyway.
It was the Buggles.
he just got amp’d
He just got the constant current which produces an attractive force of 2×10–7 newton per metre of length between two straight, parallel conductors of infinite length and negligible circular cross section, placed one meter apart in free space?
There is another fail here aside from the moron on the amp.
Typically amps are refered to as GUITAR AMPS!
You cannot plug a rock into one and rocks cannot be played as instruments.
They are also sometimes just called amps.
It is a rock fail.
It is an amp fail.
rock + amp + fail = rock amp fail
Q.E.D.
Post hoc ergo propter amp.
If you think rock’s cannot be played as instruments you’ve obviously never seen a caveman funk band in action.
Punkest.
Band.
Ever.
I was at an open mic night once and one of the hosts tripped over one of the speaker wires. The speaker, sitting on top of it’s tripod, already had damage near the tripod mounting hole. The sudden jarring drove the top of the tripod up through the amp, destroying all the insides.
It was a good thing it was one of the hosts.
Muddy Cup, Albany, NY
Considering some of the open mic nights I’ve been to, that might have been the most entertaining act.
.
I dunno, I’ve heard Muddy Cup has a lot to offer, entertainmentwise…
Most nights it’s pretty good stuff.
Damn, over 300.
Back to the old show all looping BS.
.
(failblog, can we try a limit of 400 to see if that number is safe?)
Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaasssssssssssse?
Pretty, pretty please with whipped cream and a cherry on top?
I don’t how long that cherry will last around here – I hear Mookie’s looking for one to replace her po…er, broken one.
These (and the whipped cream) are left over from last night. She’s welcome to them if she wants ‘em.
Actually, I have a pathological aversion to leftovers. *shudders* But maybe Ryannon will want them when she gets back. I hear she eats anything.
Really? She should definitely check out the site that Fluffy is showing above, then.
He he. Actually, Ryannon prefers to eat her prey live. The cherry and whipped cream were just for a garnish.
…damn, I miss her already… lol
She’s on now, actually. She just commented on the Denial fail, I think.
*sobs* Where’s my bitch?
I’m right here muffin. Had to do the dinner with the suits.
Thank God you’re here! The smut level is dangerously low on FB. We need some pr0n, STAT!
But if they make it 400, soon we’ll be asking for 500, then 600. Where will it stop?!
602. Definitely 602. That IS the magic number.
But they COULD give us more pics to comment on! Instead of three pics and one video, they could give us five pics and two videos!
I do appreciate the change mid day from an inaccessible flash video to the youtube video today, btw. To the FailBlog powers that be, thank you.
Speaking of things that Failblog does, [flimsy transition alert] do you think they take into account the comments when assigning G ratings? I’m just imagining someone looking at this fail, for example, because it’s G-rated and seeing all of our totally corrupting comments. I mean, I’m imagining it gleefully, but still…
*files that one in the “I wonder” box*
.
Avis- it’s funny you should mention the flash vs. youtube format switch… I have it just the opposite: I can see flash video at work, yet cannot access anything from youtube or myspace. The ‘net gurus have spoken… and yet, facebook remains accessible (for now). Go figure. I feel your pain, both on the unviewable videos and on the lack of new stuff to comment on. Despite all this, let’s have a rousing “Huzzah” for Failblog!!!
*wonders if he’s with Ryannon*
I wish. It’s freakin’ cold here, and I need someone especially warm-blooded to keep me thawed.
Well, she IS planning to come to NJ soon…
This is a Fall Out Boy video.
Wocka wocka, thank-you I’m here all week, please tip your servers. Try the fish.
You’re 6.5 hours late.
Damn. You got in JUST ahead of me. Glad I refreshed!
*files scathing response for another time*
We could always work on our timing on another thread up there.^^^
*chuckle*
I hadn’t seen your response. I think a little practice would do us good!
The full music video for this is up on youtube. Check out the comments on this video’s youtube page!
www [dot ] youtube [dot] com/watch?v=AR0hPVJvEqI
Cheap amp ftw…..
LMAO. Yay cal poly
PCV parking structure?
Yep
Well… Me being a bassist all in all… This makes me lol
I’m glad my amp is to big to stand on, and I’m not stupid enough to jump off of it like a duche
Is that The Vines? It looks like them? It reminds me of one of their videos at least.
Nevermind, Def not The Vines.
Truly, white bassists can’t jump. How do I know you ask? Simple enough, I’m a white bassist.
I enjoy when guitar players fail…..
immensely.
love how the drummer chokes the cymbal right after the bassist hits the floor
helluva way to start a song…
the sad thing is is that i go to that school, you can almost see my room off in the distance.
1.. Action.. 3!
WTF kind of counting is that?
“what happened?”
“your band sucks that’s what happened”
Ohhh. Oh that is just fabulous. *watches too many times*
Hahaha, what a jackass
lol security locks ftw
I love that band. It’s relient k.
why was he even on the amp anyway??????
BAND FAIIIIIIL!
*wonders where this is supposed to go*
*goes for a ride*
Wheee!