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you were supposed to say FIRST!
…and I’m supposed to say FAIL!
Nomen est Omen.
sheesh…
chill out.
no
Today i’m wearing my Duffail Coat coz i’ts really coat outside!
pedobear section
fail de causalité
HAHAH
Win
Nah, not imaginative enough. I think the first thing you post should reflect your personality.
grammar FAIL!!!!
I’m more interested in the cold vaporizers. For when killing the germs just isn’t enough…
roffle!
CLEARLY the baby needs cold pain vaporizers
NEVER!!!!!!!!!1
blam!
back to newgrounds for you
Personality Fail
dooo dooobidooo…let’s interlock our pissing gear…doo doo bidoo bidoo….
…and a new pair of shoes.
Not after we vaporise them.
You know what, lets just drop him/her off in Baby Dump
The seals will end their pain.
The navy will end their seals.
the air force will end the navy
No. No, they won’t.
Roll them bones, Mookie.
Damn, i want to be baby again
looking back on where we first met,
i cannot escape and i cannot forgeet,
baby you’re the one,
you still turn me ooon,
you can take my hole again.
You gotta learn when you’re young. It only gets harder.
Um… in a sense.
Um… sense it in
Harder? Keep talking
Harder, faster, stronger, longer… um, what was I talking about?
Don’t TALK! Just DO!
*does*
When Im not with you I lose my mind
Give me a sign, HIT me baby one more time!
Listen, lady, you’ve got me at a delicate time. You see…
I’m not a girl. Not yet a woman. All I need is time. A moment that is mine. While I’m in between.
Can I get in between?
*walks in*
Hey I wanted to ask you what does…
*hides under sheet* GASP! what are you doing in here?!
GET OUT! GET OUT! GET OUT! GET OUT! GET OUT! GET OUT!
what i do with my sheep is my business
And, arguably, mine.
You’re no longer my Yorkie Bar?
GASP! what are YOU doing in here?!
GET OUT! GET OUT! GET OUT! GET OUT!
*throws tophat after Mikey*
*deadbolt door*
*walks off*
*cue Incredible Hulk ending theme music*
*sings*
I’ll be your key if you’ll be my key, if you’ll be the key to my heart
*sings off-key*
I’ve got the key
I’ve got the secret
I’ve got the key
To another way
If there’s any other way, I’ll take it
If there’s any other way, we’ll make it
Lift up your eyes
Look up to the stars (or something)
Two of a billion stars,
it means so much to me,
Like a birthday or a pretty view
But then I’m sure that you know it’s just for you
Just for you I’ll sacrifice
Everything in my life
I will do all this for you
Dedicate myself to you
Just for you
*turns on “Cheers for You” cd*
C.D.: Hooray for youuuuuuuuu!
*ignores Dragongirl*
Through the hourglass I saw you,
in time you slipped away
When the mirror crashed I called you,
and turned to hear you say
If only for today I am unafraid
Take my breath away
That was beautiful!
*applauds*
*ignores FairisFoul*
So if you’re lonely
You know I’m here waiting for you
I’m just a crosshair
I’m just a shot away from you
And if you leave here
You leave me broken, shattered, a lie
I’m just a crosshair
I’m just a shot, then we can die
I know I won’t be leaving here with you
So…
I say don’t you know
You say you don’t know
I say Take Me Out
I say you don’t show
Don’t move, time is slow
I want you to Take Me Out
baby we’ve been playin’ with fire
turnin’ on a record desire
baby we’ve been playin’ with fire
baby if you come out tonight
we can make you feel alright
baby if you come out tonight
look in my bedroom
I painted it red
I hung up your picture
right over my bed
I know every world you ever said
Got a picture of you beside me
Got your lipstick marks still on my coffee cup
Got a fist of pure emotion
Oh yeah
Got a fist of pure emotion, got a head of shattered dreams
Gotta leave it, gotta leave it all behind now
Whatever I said, whatever I did, I didn’t mean it
I just want you back for good
(want you back, want you back, want you back for good)
Whenever I’m wrong, just tell me the song and I’ll sing it
You’ll be right and understood
(want you back, want you back)
I want you back for good
Bring back that lovin’ feeling,
Whoa, that lovin’ feeling
Bring back that lovin’ feeling,
‘Cause it’s gone…gone…gone,
and I can’t go on,
noooo…
Bring back that lovin’ feeling,
Whoa, that lovin’ feeling
Bring back that lovin’ feeling,
‘Cause it’s gone…gone…
*whimpers*
*remembers happier times*
*dreams of Mikey D*
*cradles tazer with a tear in his eye*
oooh! i see, is that how it is? first you ask to see my hoo hoo, then you ask to touch it, then we play cowgirl and sheep herder and now you think you can just baaaaa-k out and go on your Mary way and follow someone else to school??
HOW DARE YOU! *grabs shears*
RUN BOD!
*dives in the way of the shears*
This is not how it was meant to be.
*sprawls naked and alone on large pile of fluffy sheep’s wool*
you got what you wanted, i got what i wanted, quit whining
*comb, spin, knit, repeat*
finally a custom woolen wheechair cover
*blows kiss* thanks Bod!
Now I’m confused – is Bod a male or female sheep?
Arguable it dosen’t matter, does it?
Well, either way, He’s a male’s sheep, that’s for sure.
I’m whatever you need me to be, baby.
Hold that thought, Bod, I’ll get back to you.
@ LB: Ewe really rammed your point home hard, I lamb speechless!
who would want to
argue with you
my lil’ lambie poo
*lustfully grabs Bod and yanks him back under the sheet*
I was standing here for 5 minutes till you guys noticed me, hell I have a crowd behind me. Got 50 bucks, and I also made some money.
*snatches $50*
*wakes up HUGE dog sleeping under bed*
*points*
Get him Pookie, KILL!
*runs*
HAHAHA! you got 50 bucks!
THE ANIMAL NOT THE MONEY! WOOT!
*rubs “doe in heat scent” on wolfgangmunzerl2 as he passes*
*points* there’s the object of your affection boys!
*50 very horny bucks take off after wolfgangmunzerl2*
If im going down IM TAKING YOU WITH ME!
*tackles Amber*
now its on you!
OH F@#K THEY’RE COMING!
worng choice of words T.T
OK hold still wolfgangmunzerl2 it makes it hurt more if you wiggle
*pushes button*
BUZZ! number 7! Buck # 7 you’re next!
…and that is when i learned
KNOCK FIRST
The Benny Hill music.
just got to get my banjo out
Well, if you hadn’t lubed it up and sat on it, you wouldn’t have that problem.
OH, LB – you got me with that one! LOLOLOL!!!
that’s what she said?
that’s what I said?
7th!
guess not
We all fail at something, Matt. It’s good to know your limits.
Too bad i dont know mine
You could ask around.
Pffft, wgm2 is like Chuck Norris, his power is limitless. The laws of physics be damned!
Demanding little twerps!
Daddy needs pain. Sticks and stones may break my bones, but whips and chains excite me.
I love this site, the pictures are hilarious. And the comments are full of the scum of the internet! For the most part you’re all the worst, most horribly nerdy people on the net. And for that I thank you, as my co-workers and I laugh at how pathetic you are! I think thats a win!
“I love this site, the pictures are hilarious. ” – TRUE
“And the comments are full of the scum of the internet!”- that means you too budy
“For the most part you’re all the worst, most horribly nerdy people on the net.”- so, you’re saying we’re smart? thanks!
“And for that I thank you, as my co-workers and I laugh at how pathetic you are! I think thats a win!”- Hobbos don’t count as co-workers, sorry.
Oh, they’re just mad that they didn’t get to say FIRST. Just give them back their bink and their blankie and let them go sulk.
little do they know while they’re there working, we’re here getting paid to comment and fart around. i made 53,000 last year doing this! so there HA!
All of us with avatars are professionals in a large office with cubicles in Seattle. Hi Amber. *knocks on cubicle wall*
Hey, Amber, Ronber, keep it down, willya? Some of us are trying to get some work done over here!
It looks like it’s nearly 10 o’clock. Does anybody fancy a cup of tea?
Break time! I’ve made scones, I’ll bring them to the snack room. They’ll go great with tea.
I’ll see you in there. I’ve just got a comment to write.
Damn! Guys, sorry I’m late, I had to sleep in.
It’s Monday and all. Did I miss anything?
OH GREAT! *reads* DAMN!
A note from the boss: “For being over 2 hours late SB,
you have to comment on “LOL Celebs” for 2 hours today!
PS: And they better be funny!”
See y’all after lunch! *steals a scone*
price check on pain… price check on pain
clever! ……..(or do i mean cleaver? yeah, i guess i do)
cleave! ………… there’s some pain for you boys
r
I think you mean. . .
Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr, I be a pirate?
ok . . . cleave arrrrrrrrrrrrrr! *vicious look*
GET OUT! GET OUT! GET OUT! GET OUT! *waves cleaver maniacally*
Are you talking to the voices in your head again Amber?
I can’t help but feel that your intentions towards me are less than peaceful. This makes me sad.
*plays Hulk…oh wait already used, what music can I use?*
*plays Oh yeah-Yello*
crap thats my “love” music
*plays *
Does the music stop when you stall your dad’s ferrari?
Porsche. Wrong film reference and possibly even the wrong song. Hope you’re proud of yourself.
*Walks up to Mikey and hands over papers.*
*Gives a proxy squeeze*
*Takes off suit jacket to reveal parachute pack*
*Jumps out of window*
*reads papers* Y-O-U S-T-I-N-K
HEY! Where’d they go?
Wolfie, dearest… NO, that was NOT the wrong movie reference that MikeyD made. The most well-known use of that song is in Ferris Beuller’s Day Off, and the car is a Ferrari 250 GT California.
Pst, I was incorrectly correcting myself. I had sudden doubts as to whether it was Ferris Beuller or Risky Business that featured the track.
Um, yeah, I need the bukkit AND the halibut this time. Correcting the wrong person, well done LB!
clever cleaver is clever
Look for a mirror, look straight ahead and point, you found #1 scum. Or just bend over, tuck your head between your legs, look straight ahead and there is your self portrait.
What baby needs, baby gets!
Actually, half the people I know need the Cough/Cold Vaporizer on the other side of the aisle. The ‘crud’ is living strong along the east coast.
Sorry to hear that, there’s a stomach bug making it’s way around here…..to say it stinks would be an understatement.
BYOL! (bring your own lysol).
.
The stomach bug made its rounds here at Christmas. It must be heading west.
.
Sinus crud will be there in TX next month!
Nobody puts baby in a corner!
Without her “toys”, that is.
I remember that movie, “Really, Really Dirty Dancing” right?
Yeah, that’s it. It’s the one with Patrick Swaysey back when he was a slightly less marginal actor than he is now.
Really!
Push it in. Do it hard.
That was supposed to nest at a wholly different place. Fail.
Figured it was that or you mistook FB for a completely different blog.
woot check out my ny avatar!
Mine’s nü.
Mine’s nu… though “whole” might be more like it.
WTH is everyone at?!?! Hello? *listens*
Psst, look above. Whole lotta comments.
Yeah but mostly for people I don’t give a shit a bout.
(I jest, I jest…I kid, I kid)
Voice over from scare tactics:
We’ve locked B2th in a blog filled with trolls, lets see what he does. . .
*pops some popcorn and takes a seat on couch*
Who wants to take bets he loses it in like five minutes?
And if he doesn’t, I don’t mind going in to take it from him.
I’m feeling bolshy today.
Anybody remember the show on MTV where people had to not “lose it” for 8 minutes in order to get $100??
Was that Temptation Island?
Ummm, probably not. The “it” they were losing wasn’t their clothes, morals or dignity.
Loufail and Mookie are busy with a certain referee.
I’m trying to process about 500 W-2′s with no help.
.
So, HELP!!
Um…. Call BOB @ Account Temps!
And there was me thinking the hammer was for the snakes…
i don’t know about “baby needs pain”, but i TOTALLY want a “Cough/Cold Vaporizer” right about now. *hack, cough, wheeze*
East Coast?
East Coast/Upper Ohio Valley. And my baby totally has the cough/cold bug. It’s getting around faster than Ryannon’s reputation.
Nothing gets around that fast.
*cough* Christina Aguilera *cough*
They cry in the dark, so you can’t see their tears
They hide in the light, so you can’t see their fears
Forgive and forget, all the while
Love and pain become one and the same
In the eyes of a wounded child. . .
Don’t you ever ask them why
If they told you, you would cry
So just look at them and sigh
And know they love you
The pleasure of pain, day after day, dear, day after day, dear
Love kills, it hurts me to see you this way
Love kills, it kills me to treat you this way. . .
In case some of you got up too late to see my earlier greeting – Happy Australia Day to all me mates down under!
Somewhere in there is a great pickup line for tonight…
Busy tonight, how about a week from last Sunday?
Cheers Judy! Much beer & snags were consumed!
Anyone else notice the store looks to be named “Ike’s” That makes it all the more ironic.
Ike Godsey’s. Baby pain our specialty.
Well, I was thinking Ike as in Ike Turner. Beat some respect into that baby! *snerk*
Oohh! Good one! *earns a double snerk*
Kick the baby!
Ike! You broke another window! That’s a bad baby! BAD BABY!
This is great! I just discovered this blog and really enjoyed it. Probably too much! I got to get back to work.
Great blog!
Deflate frog!
late smog
Crates bog.
Bait frog.
Bites dog.
Babe snog.
Blate demagog.
Restate jog.
Lost in fog.
Sank in bog.
Eight cogs.
Check out the lesbian couple in the background. The one on the right has her hand strategically placed. WIN!
*smacks iagnfn with the halibut*
Grow up!
“welcome to failblog where if you type anything remotely unacceptable to the regulars, expect to be beaten, tazed, smacked, etc… you might even receive a tater in the vicar hole.” I appreciate the warm welcome, Avis.
That’s about the whole of it. You’re so welcome! Is it too much to ask that you at least TRY to be funny?
“Smacks iagnfn with the halibut” is funny? No.
I didn’t ask if I was funny. I asked it it was too much for YOU to be funny. Apparently the answer is yes. It IS too much to ask!
I get it. Locals only. I’ll go swim somewhere else.
Ta, ta! If you don’t like our particular brand of humo(u)r you are indeed free to go elsewhere.
Avis, I’ve never seen you so hostile. Is everything ok?
Oh, I’m fine, I just get a bit fed up with the homo jokes. It’s like “hey I can’t think of anything truly funny so I’ll somehow turn into a gay thing”.
Now, if they were FUNNY gay jokes that would be different.
Gay is as gay does is what I always say.
*sighs wisely and nods*
Yeah, Bod, but we don’t see you throwing your preferences around like it’s something to make fun of. At least, not often, and you’re qualified to do so if you wish.
Thank you, Mr Box, that’s nice of you.
*looks slyly over at Mr Cuddles*
*wonders if now would be a good time to introduce himself*
*feels shy*
You don’t have to be shy, at least not with me
Well then…
*extends hand*
I’m delighted to meet you, Mr Cuddles. I’ve heard so much about you.
All good.
Very nice to meet you Bod
So do tell, what have you heard?
I’m not sure that full disclosure is fully appropriate for a first date.
Perhaps as we get to know one another better…
So this is a first date now? I’m intrigued to see what you have planned.
Oh, nothing much.
But I’ve got the loan of Tom Cruise’s plane this evening so, you know, I thought we could just see where the mood takes us…
No, it’s definitely a plane. I checked.
You make me laugh.
You make me *whispers*.
Did you hear the one about the homo sitting at a bar with a monkey?
I’m really sick of the gay jokes too Avis. *lends Avis spare sledgehammer* Instead of the halibut, try this next time
Hmmm… this might be just what I was looking for!.
*devious grin*
1) I said nothing deprecating about the “couple.”
2) I said “Win”
3) Not that it should matter, but I’m gay.
Sorry if I touched a sore spot with you.
It doesn’t matter if you are or aren’t. I see a LOT of stupid gay jokes here and not all that many smart ones. And I get tired of the notion that two women in any picture must be gay simply because of their proximity to each other. Now if they were playing tonsil hockey I’d say you might be onto something.
Yay! I’m finally not the only one!
Me fail then, because I thought the one on the right was just a feminine looking hispanic guy. Thats what made it funny to me.
Oh, and I’m hispanic too… before the tirade of “I hate hispanic jokes” comes in.
Are you fat, as well?
Oh geeze, that’s it! Everybody needs to calm down and have a group hug.
*goes back to look more closely at the pic*
If that’s a guy, he REALLY looks like a woman!
I think it’s a woman. It looks like a woman.
If that’s not a woman then I’ve made an ass out of myself and I apologize.
Come to think of it, there’s no salvaging this tread. *jumps ship*
Don’t make me bring a referee in here.
It’s two women Avis.
I THOUGHT it was!
I have to say it didn’t even dawn on me that that could have been a guy.
To choose someone of the same sex for one’s sexual activity is to annul the rich symbolism and meaning, not to mention the goals, of the Creator’s sexual design. Homosexual activity is not a complementary union, able to transmit life; and so it thwarts the call to a life of that form of self-giving which the Gospel says is the essence of Christian living. This does not mean that homosexual persons are not often generous and giving of themselves; but when they engage in homosexual activity they confirm within themselves a disordered sexual inclination which is essentially self-indulgent.
Joseph Cardinal Ratzinger, 1st October 1989
NOT a joke but rather a text that makes me very sad.
And hopefully the author of that little text is rotting in the bowels of Hell at this time.
Not yet. Right now he’s the pope.
Because catholic priests (who are supposed to be celibate) are the people to go to for advise about sexual politics.
Hahah! Woops! Shows you how much I pay attention to things.
And I won’t tell you what else he said.
I’m reading it now and it just gets worse and worse.
In religion and politics people’s beliefs and convictions are in almost every case gotten at second-hand, and without examination, from authorities who have not themselves examined the questions at issue but have taken them at second-hand from other non-examiners, whose opinions about them were not worth a brass farthing.
~ Mark Twain
Methinks Mark Twain was wise well beyond his century. Thanks, Marius.
Short version:
Bod, always remember you’re relationship is with God not the pope.
Mark Twain was wise beyond OUR century!
@Marius: you spelled argument wrong. But yes, I hear you. It’s a beautiful quotation.
Humm, seems to me a smacking with the halibut is akin to a warm welcome ’round these parts.
That thin skin of theirs won’t help though.
Self-awareness fail
What? You’ve never gotten fed up?
Sure, the last time I was laying on my elbow in bed while she fed me grapes from below, why do you ask?
*snert!*
The guy made a single comment he thought was funny. It was not (to me, anyway, nor to you, apparently). I hardly think that warrants turning the thread into a black hole for humor.
Go back and read it again. An understanding (of sorts) was reached.
…So he learns to behave!
We coddle babies too much in this country anyway.
…and Daddy could use a little spanking too.
guffaw
ahaha nuts!
/
hAi GaIz I r TeH nEw GuY!!
… just kidding. I am not a troll. Put down the guns/fire extinguishers.
But really I’m new, not used to Fail Blog just yet, trying to find the in’s and out’s of having my own profile!
I look at the site all the time at work when I’m retardedly bored. Well, or just bored in general haha.
Oh right comment. Erm… LOL BABY NEEDS FAIL HAHAHAHA
>_>…
Which one of you was the troll killer again? I forgot your name, but ironically I remember Ryannon for some reason. Probably the link in another comment leading to the Baby Jesus Buttplug that made me laugh insanely.
Anyway. Yeah. Done with the non-relevancy now.
Sorry for the double comment. Forgot to check the little notify me thing box. T_T I’m a noob sorry.
*waves*
Clicking that ‘notify me thing’ may be a bad mistake my friend…
no need to ask where the razor blades and black makeup are
At least they didn’t put baby needs and condoms in the same aisle.
I’d say the cut-out parents in the background are even more fail-tastic
Check the comments above. Majority opinion here seems to be that they are unfunny fat hispanic lesbians, if I’m not mistaken.
LOL, Time to KICK the Baby! Weeeeeeeeeee. LMAO
RT
http://www.total-privacy.us.tc
*sensual* don’t worry baby… I’lls gives yas pain.
How is this a fail? It’s a baby needs WIN!
Yeah, baby! PAIN!
PHOTOSHOP FAKE!
NOT a fake, Straight from my iphone to FB. AND, it’s still up – and visited often.
“Baby Needs Pain” is a FAIL, alright…
…but I’m far more interested in the fact that “pain” is up there at ALL.
Salesman: Excuse me, sir, but may I interest you in some of our store’s fine pain?
Man: Why, certainly!
Salesman: (punches him in the face) That will be 10 dollars. Come again!
._. wow.. lots o comments eh? keep typing lil trolls! or w/e you are O.o
you’ll earn tons of cash that way, or so you say. O.o that rhymed. how sadistic. or mrbid, i dunno.
I’m talking to myself.. o.o
strange. baby needs pain..
YES WE CAN.
meow.
Triple fail.. Baby needs :pain or cough/cold or vaporizer
i agree with the sign
stupid baby wouldnt shut up
that sounds like something mr. T would say…BABY NEEDS PAIN!!
Baby needs pain! Nao!
*Punches Baby in the balls*
What? It Said “Baby needs pain”!
Wait, I See Something!
Oh! I A Double Fail! See In The Right hand Corner! IT Saids Vaporizers! That Means To Vaporize Your Baby!
no…no it doesn’t…vaporizers fall in totally different catagory than what your talking about
this website is shit.
you should all go cut yourselves and die
failblog.
wtf.
.. needs pain too
poor little babies…