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Fritz
And swing your hands free around your neck *sing*
titz?
bong hitz
Blonde boy: Can you hear me?
Blonde girl: Stop shouting at my face!
Blonde boy: Do I look retard with this thing on my ear?
Blonde girl: Not as much as when you were using both hands to hold it
sarcastic skepticism
fantastic agnosticism
hopeful optimism
fitful pessimism
pessimistic pessimism
C-C-C-COMBOBREAKER!
Dreadful positivism.
woeful atavism
Belligerent criticism
Fruitful plagiarism.
Slippery freudism.
slippery ****jism
Quippery neologism.
flippery organism
Lonely chastism
pony autism
prohibit gayism
Awesome atheism (is there any other kind?)
Responsive Radicalism
Feigned Fatalism
Petrified Priapism
Advantageous Analism
No, SB, that was the last fail…
Quarantined quietism.
*thunks Judy’s forehead*
YOU messed it up!
*scary skwerlly growls*
*Uses Fire extinguisher to break Emergency Nut Glass Box*
*SMASH!*
*Alarm bells ring*
*in slow motion* Ge-e-e-t th-e- n-n-n-u-u-t-s-s-s t-t- o-o-o-o t-h-h-e-e-e s-s-s-k-w-e–e-r-r-a-a-l
*Sighed schism.*
Objective Reletivism
growwwwwl, indeed!
*returns imported specialty butter back to market*
naughty nihilism.
also, it leaves one of the hands free.
so, you know, half win.
Winning Comment…:p
werewolf vs unicorn
Your face.
Petrified Priapism <—epic win
Deceptive radicalism
Retarded Racism
contradictive fascism
Amazing orgasm
Probable Paganism
possible retardism
sadistic marxism
Stupid Fish
reined authoritarianism
Blah Blah Comment Blah
commented extrativism
Godly satanism
serious sadism
Sensation Spermation
Headless lemonium
._. i fail, i know..
Elastic skeleton
fantastic Simpleton
Sounds like they should have used the Cone of Silence
awesome reference
Warning, this product may be too full of crap to really work and you may have just wasted 30 bucks.
Actually, you’ve only wasted seven bucks. I took that picture of a walkie talkie set sold at the store I work at, which constantly sells sub-par products.
Hahaha.
humor-fail
LOL
O RLY?
(maybe first?
that’s an airport
It’s a city, actually. With an airport.
RDU wd be the airport?
ORY is the airport. Orly is the city but it’s a hole in the ground next to Paris.
A hole in the ground next to Paris? So her bajaina finally fell off? I knew it would one day.
*Snorts.* One more sinkhole to avoid.
You mean stankhole, right?
*points* See this scar? It’s a shankhole back when I was in prison.
ooooh, can we play prison guard and lonely female inmate at lights out?
You bet but can I be the female prisoner this time?
Well ok, I guess so. But can I be the agressive one this time, it’s fun but you smacking me down everytime and just taking it from me is starting to bruisse real bad, it can be fun the other way around too.
Spankhole?
I meant borehole. Overdrilling has spoiled that resource.
brown gold?
Gold mold?
yeah …much like your mum!!!!
*ahem*
*SWINGS EXTINGUISHER*
*sharpens castrator*
Go team!
heats incubater
Takes out the fat man and kills everyone in the room
That’s the nice young man from Little People, Big World.
little big planet?
omgilovethatsossosososmuch xoxoxoxo hearts n s**t
The Paintinator! Muahahaha, my psn is my name here…
<–ChittyShicken
your a cunny funt lol
I have a plan:
1- Build a device to comment on failblog without using hands
2- ???
3- Profit!
You accidenty step four!
No, Lou is extremely efficient.
And I am taking lessons for writing with a single hand
Lesson 1: Put that pencil down before beginning practice.
Lesson two: write with one hand… There ya go, you passed!
Lesson 2: Now you have a free hand, accept glass of scotch from Mikey D
Lesson 3: Sit back and relax
Lesson 4: ????
Lesson 5: Wake up in weird clothes, a felt-tip moustache and wet trousers
*offers DrB a scotch*
Sorry to say I’m going to be leaving early today, it’s a friend’s birthday
*sip*
*Mikey D thinks again, it is late and the ice-fear is cold*
*takes the camp chairs from his jeep and sets them up with an upside down table-boat to set the scotches up on*
*Puts a cigar next to DrB’s scotch*
That would have been easier if I hadn’t had to do it hands free.
Ahhh, perfect!
*wonders about Mikey’s ‘hands free’*
*sniffs cigar*
.
Still, the stars are nice tonight…
*sip, sip, sip*
*puts plate of canapés on upside down table-boat* Can I get you boys anything else?
How about a rousing game of Coffee, Tea or Me???
*Bite, light, puff*
There’s strange things afoot DrB, there’s a stealth fail only visible when people comment on it. It’s called Public Library Fail!
*sip, puff, sip*
Mikey D, after *bite*, did you *spit* or *swallow*?
Kinda dribbled. It was skilliant.
Yep Mikey…the seldom seen, though often rumoured Stealthy Library Fail, from 21/1.
*di doo di doo di doo di doo*
.
Cheers, Mooks. Akshully, I thought we might putt upstream for the picnic. Now we’ve got the supplies, we’re all set.
Thankyou Mookie!
.
If we turn the table upside down we could place the canapes in the centre while we putter upstream for a picnic spot?
.
It can be found if you deliberately search for ‘public library fail’, but I don’t know how the first person found it? It makes me wonder if there are further uncommented fails hidden we could sail for.
.
*puff, puff, sip*
Ahhhhhhh. Like ‘behind the curtains’ fails…
.
*puff, puff, sip*
.
What about that little grassy bank over there…with the overhanging Willow?
*sip, puff, sip*
.
Over by Ratty and Mole? Sounds delightful!
Full steam ahead!
.
*puttputtputtputtputtputtputtputt*
duh duh………
duh duh……
duh duh duh duh duh duh duh DUH DUH DUH!!!
You did that very well – you didn’t miss a single letter.
And I managed to write all the letters clearly!
But it is harder when I use my left hand
Dejame darte una mano, entonces.
Si me echas una mano, quizás no use las mías para escribir.
Me gusta esa idea. Hagámoslo.
Aye que rico mami. Vamos a culear en la cocina.
Crees que Lou puede hacer el amor con dos mujeres al mismo tiempo? I usually don’t share my toys, but seeing as you and I are such good amigas…
¿es eso un desafío?
Hmmm… creo que necesitamos un cuarto…
I can’t figure out how to type without hands. Any tutorial sites?
I type with my nose.
Rly.
I type with my fingers
I type with my toes
i type with my…. nvm……
I have speac-to-text w/ microphone that I use, but it only works on Word, Trying to get it to work heir (Maybe it will siel beter tha I can!) *Intentional bukkit request*
i stare down at my keyboard until it types itself
with a warning label THIS big, ya know its gotta be fun!
Futurama FTW
This comment typed using a hands-free keyboard.
ANY keyboard is hands-free when you type using your boner like me.
hehe… boobies
Sorry, I don’t have a boner like you handy. Though, thanks for the tip, all the same!
*gives Dr. B a wunder boner*
LOL reference win
Ah, so you’re a hunt-and-pecker
Yeah this sucks. Lets go back to the tin cans and the string.
Tin cans and string? I guess so, but isn’t it a little early for bondage games?
Now that’s not the can-do attitude I like in a man…
Not all you like in a man Mookie…
Don’t forget to bring a towel
I laugh at your towel. Nothing can compare to the fine German quality of our ShamWow!!!
Hey look it works! they’re using their fingers
Perhaps you just ease those antennas up your schnoz, and voila, instant hands free!?
Cyber Gear, for the future P0rn star in your family! Get it today, and watch your kids star in their own feature-length movies tonight!
*wonders what kind of p0rn is LB into that may include these devices*
*then remembers Rule 34*
Negative, ghostrider, I am most definitely NOT a kiddie-porn peruser!!! (I’m just cursed with a sick, sick sense of humour)
I never implied that, sorry if I offecded you.I was referring to pr0n where adult starts use there devices in their ears. Kind of “cyber stuff”.
You mean f0ne b0ning?
I meant airp0rne voice.
L0ng-distance l0vetalk.
Inter0ceanic H0t chat
Transc0ntinental 0ral exchange.
AT&A
Reach 0ut and t0uch s0me0ne.
- but do it without t0uching, please.
Hmmm, I think I will just have to make you c0me without using my hands! Just to pr0ve a point.
You can make almost any woman come without touching, just dangle a shiney bauble in front of her and she will run to you.
Will these work? *dangles Mardi Gras beads* They are shiny.
I did say almost. I am not so easily enticed by Mard ohhh shiny!
dirty webcam acti0n
clean the lens, h0ney…
M0ve it a little d0wn, mi am0r
Is that better, cariñ0? I kn0w y0u hate to miss any part 0f y0ur sh0w…
T0d0 es perfect0… camera angle, y0ur b0dy, the way you m0ve it, y0ur c0me hither l00k,…
That’s en0ugh talk, c0razón, I have a better use for es0s labi0s…
Mis labi0s ya están buscand0 l0s tuy0s… y se que finalmente encontrarán t0d0s l0s tuy0s
¡Am0r mi0! – es0 me hace s0nr0jar…
Es0s c0l0res hacen t0davía más bell0 tu r0str0…
Sabes bien que n0 pued0 resistir tus palabras dulces. *suspira*
¿prefieres qué sean mis man0s las que hablen con t0d0 tu cuerp0?
Presi0na tu cuerp0 contra el mí0, y deja que tu piel hablar c0n la mia…
Me gusta lo que tu cuell0, sen0s, cul0, omblig0 y musl0s le estan diciend0 a mi piel…
Susurra dentr0 de mi… tu sabes.
Susurr0s y gemid0s es t0d0 l0 que 0irás de mi en un rat0…
Es c0m0 música para mí. (Esper0 que n0 tenga el mism0 pr0blem0 c0m0 ayer…)
*tengas* 00ps!
Hagam0s música ent0nces, y bailem0s junt0s a su s0n…
Tu ritm0 es maravill0s0.
Espera unos minutos… l0 que empez0 c0m0 un suave b0ler0, puede acabar c0m0 un m0vid0 r0ck & r0ll
Así es c0m0 me gusta. [estás en la oficina todavía?]
Pues tus dese0s s0n 0rdenes… [ya no lo estoy]
[ahora estás conmigo
]
Funny thing is, there is a web design company named Cyber Gear. I’m sure they are really happy that their name is associated with this device.
Here’s another great hands-free form of communication: Yelling.
Not in the Northeast… around here, yelling is definitely NOT a hands-free activity!!!
Yep. We can drive, honk, yell and give hand signals all at the same time.
And y’all talk REALLY loud as normal every day conversation. I used to have to tell people “use your inside voice” because they talked over each other in our office.
Hee! NY, home of the stage whisper.
My old twatboss talked so loud, I wouldn’t even ride in the same car with her. I would come out with a headache every time we were in close proximity. Everyone cringes when they have to have a conference call with her and she is from Philly. It’s the 3 states together.
I had to move 700 miles away to escape the noise from my family. Unfortunately, I can still hear them from here…
Memories of my German and Irish family gathering for Oktoberfest.After the third liter of beer no one can hear you scream.
ROFL @ all of the above… You’ve just accurately described my firehouse, minus the beer. Moving here was a serious culture shock, since I’m used to the calm, collected ways of California.
We talk much quieter in Florida or at least in my family than they do where I worked in NJ. But some talk exceptionally loud. In the office there where I used to work, there were 4 that were VERY loud and when they got together office doors slammed because you couldn’t hear anything else. So glad to be in the quiet Ozarks now.
I didn’t care for the area I used to live in when I was in Arkansas. unemployment was the highest in the state, teen pregnancy the highest in state, drug convictions highest in state, etc. We always had to go to Memphis on weekends to have something to do.
I notice all that declined when you left. Coincidence?
shhhhhh, well of course it isn’t a coinky dink, I was a teenager when I lived there after all. Want me to come visit for a repeat local performance?
Psst! Ry, she’ looking over your shoulder! Just act casual.
Pardon me?
‘Twatboss’ behind you, sssshhhh!
Umm yeah okay.
I *FAILED*, huh?
Hey, I’m from the Northeast. I can make obscene hand gestures in three languages while baking a cherry pie and driving the wrong way on the median.
You have an easy bake oven in your car? Now that’s a real woman
Hot Damn! A crappy brownie while you drive into the wrong lane, maybe the fact that the brownie is harder than metal it might just save your life…
I’m from the south and will match your hand gestures along with a come hither smile and gesture, yeah and bring your pie too.
In the central East Coast, montains are sound barriers, have to cup both hands together to ma a loud skeaker! Being an engineer, I invented ‘hands on a stick’. Still need one hand to operate, but I’m working on it!
*Also working on a larger bukkit*
just so you will know not everyone has a since of humor here
Since when do we not have humor? Since we woke up today??? That doesn’t make any since at all! What’s the es-since of your thought process here???
Your comment makes no cents at all!
LOL Cyber gear aswell!
OMG METAL GEAR!
first
*takes troll into a back alley*
if anyone asks, he tripped
*Sees troll is still breathing.
drags troll to a nearby building,
places in ice bath,
removes both kidneys
and places troll back where I found it.*
I don’t think you’re gonna want to use those… they’re contaminated, and no amount of flushing or dialysis is going to get rid of the troll disease.
… And fell down a flight of stairs into a door knob…
Let’s turn this around guys, how would we slogan this ad to get people buying it? I came up with:
“You’ll love it so much you won’t let go!”
“So **cking hadns-free you’ll beg to use your hands”? no? anyone?
And they thought they’d avoid fail blog by covering the penis-shaped tip *snort*
I “FAILED”, huh?
no just mean people suck
Sure, but nice people swallow!
LB,what happened to the shiny red fire truck? I liked the shiny red fire truck!:(
So that’s how Santa fills that list – still have to work out how to get on the naughty list though.
What about a head free to phone?
Which parts the fail? The fact there hands are on the things or that they’re two f***ing feet away from each other!?
Um…the whole thing? (Plus, it’s a choking hazard!)
Well… I tried to guess WTH is it called hands free and then, a theory: It can be a radio system. Hands free to listen, but one hand to press the button “talk” and talk.
They did say “HANDS” free… Not Hand free.
“flexible mouth piece”
ooh! i want one!
lrl
i dont get it
*gives a hint* Where are their hands on this hands free toy?
and NO ONE knows where their second hand is!
He to her – “Honest, babe, I’ve been designated a ‘choking hazard’ if you catch my drift. I consider you a friend, and thus I can easily talk to you.”
Her to he – “This phone has a very sensitive tip.”
As a kid, I actually bought this, thinking it was a cell phone, or even cordless. However, it was the ugliest corded phone I’ve ever seen.
I bought one of these a while ago. I’m still waiting for my free hands.
fail
17809967230
must mean that you don’t have to use sign language to communicate.
It wraps around the ear, so technically you don’t have to hold it. Which is why this isn’t funny. Oh look, they’re touching it, with their hands. Hands free? Yeah. I got it.
Max Racism
hmmm…
is it the fact that is says hands free and they are holding it?
or is it the fact that we have the EXACT same thing that is ten times smaller?
this is nigerian
hAHahhaa