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Cheezburger Network Blog
It’s for hitting the snakes.
Burning snakes, snakes on fire…Snakes on a plane! (worst movie EVER)
did you ever see snakes on a train? 1970something? that was good!
have you ever seen ‘hippos on a blimp’?
What about hornets on a subway?
Can’t forget “Gorillas on a stairlift”.
I liked “Wombats on an Escalator” more.
Meerkats on the failboat aroused me.
Realy? I liked Newts on a Moped more.
I really prefer Fails on an Elevator.
Piranha on a Bus is still better.
croc in the van was beter
I enjoyed whales on a unicycle… But the ending sucked.
Further more, I loved penguins in a fighter jet.
my favorite was Platypi on a Scissorlift
red ants on a motorcycle — it was a short film
Isn’t using a hammer how you put out a fire?
It’s how I put out Birthday Candles and Cigarettes
do i use this fire extinguisher to take out the fire on my friend’s crotch?
No you have to be 18
I think it’s actually a fire extinguisher without the bit that holds the water.
I saw Samuel L. Jackson’s 2003 remake of it. Good stuff. Got an Emmy nom that year.
Who got nominated, you or Samuel L. Jackson?
Spiders in a kayak was a fun one. Kinda short, but satisfying.
Have you ever seen yourself? ugh! ’nuff said…
no. no i haven’t. i don’t generally tend to stand in front of the mirror when laughing.
Iguanas in an igloo
at this rate we will run out of things to put snakes in.
“Snakes on a horse-drawn carriage”
“Snakes in the toilet”
“Snakes in the trashcans and various other places that it seems unlikely for a snake to be but they seem to be in them anyway” (working title XD)
And who could forget:
“Snakes in your mom” (XD)
I have HAD IT! With these mother****ing hammers on these mother****ing walls!!!
That’s the last thing we need, Hammers on Crack!
First true laugh^^
HAHAHAHAHAH thats funny
What do you have against snakes?!? That sounds like a case of reptilian profiling to me, and I would resent that…
There’s lots of running themes here, champ (clicky if you’d like the ref).
.
Oh, and in a previous life I did a degree with a wildlife major. Your snake is safe, all the same. Enjoy!
Ahhhh, I’d forgotten that. Thankyou.
*beams down from starship*
*SQUEEEZEs the moomin*
*looks down and sees she is wearing a red shirt*
Oh crap.
*frantically beams back out*
Dragon… Don’t you mean that you told scotty to beam you up?
No…I made a mistake and asked Scotteh to beam me up instead.
Fortunately, dragons have their own beaming abilities.
Getting the reference fail
Cheers, amigo
Cheers (with a vitamin B enriched drink)
Cheers (may I have some?)
Cheers (with Norm and Cliff)
Cheers (Hooraaay for US!!!!!!!!!!)
Cheers (does anyone know my name?)
Cheers (I’m glad you came)
Cheer (2 bits, 4 bits, 6 bits a dollar)
Cheers (you are quite a dame)
Cheers (you have no shame)
Cheers (you got me tame)
Cheers (you light my flame)
Cheers (I am flattered for that blame)
Cheers (please keep all pets on a chain)
Cheers (estoy quem-ando)
Cheers (te estoy visualizando)
Cheers (estoy haciendo algo en francés)
Cheers (estoy disfrutando de tu dominio de la lengua)
Cheers (y yo estoy disfrutando tu buen sabor)
Cheers (y yo me maravillo con tu calor)
Cheers (si te gustó mi francés, vas a encantarte mi griego)
Cheers (se que lo harás tan bien como todo lo demás, vas a conseguir que me derrita)
Cheers (entonces vas a estar mojado también. *va a encantarte…*)
Cheers (Estoy seguro de ello. *se pregunta que hacer para no llamar la atención si tiene que levantarse de su sitio en el trabajo*)
Cheers (encuéntrame en el baño para ejecutivos)
Cheers (allà voy; guardo la llave que me diste colgada del cuello)
Cheers (no puedo esperar…) [¿Cuándo te vas? ¿Es reparado la ordenador?]
Cheers (mi prudencia me impide permanecer de pie, mi impaciencia me impide estar sentado)
[1 hour. If they don't fix it, they won't be leaving my home]
Cheers (po caralho espanhois de merda)
and if the snakes woudl be two fast for the hammer?
bob could hamer them
cause its hammertime
“two fast” ?
Are you German or something?
“too slow” ?
Are you a rabbit or something?
STOP! (DROP! ROLL!). Hammer time!
Anyone else doing the typewriter dance right now? Anyone? Hm?
aint nobody hittin mah snake!
Beat that fire down dammit!
*sings* If I had a hammer….
i’d build a house for two….then burn it down
Then put out the fire with a hammer
I have the same fire extinguisher. No fail here.
Have you burnt down yet?
That is the reason his avatar is so dark.
“why” his avatar is so dark. shame on me, shame…..
Personally, I think it works with or without the “why”. But I never learnt the finer parts of English sentence construction.
i can has a english?
muffin
rose?
Not that hungry, thx…
You can has 2 douchee burgers for $3.33
How many yen is that?
$1.49
Or 10000000000000000 dollars in a country in africa…(cant remember which one.)
My reply disappeared, and it wasn’t even filthy!
I have a friend who thinks that saying “the reason why” is a tautology.
That is, the term ‘why’ is asking for the reason that something is so.
.
It makes sense to me, but I never learnt the finer parts of English sentence construction.
I have a friend who thinks that saying “try and” is a linguistic abomination.
I have lots of friends that don’t care that much.
As in “try and do THIS”
*makes funny balloon animal*
*pop*
…*sheepish look*…
Sowwy.
Hey Loz, is it only “try and” that’s an abomination according to your friend? How about “watch and” or possibly something else in the same vein? Just curious.
I’m going to try and do this, go and sit down, watch and see!
I’m going to try and try and try, and you’ll just watch and learn.
That’s because if you try AND do something, the “do” indicates success in the attempt, so stating that an attempt took place is redundant. (I think Yoda must’ve been an English teacher when he said something along the lines of “do or do not; there is no try”.)
However, if referring solely to the attempt with no reference to its success or failure, you are trying TO do something. That’s the usual intention when people mangle it as “try AND do”.
You can try AND fail though, indicating an unsuccessful attempt. It’s unlikely that anyone would try TO fail… submissions to this blog notwithstanding.
Uh.. thanks, naughtyBoy. The comment was mostly for fun though. I would certainly hope not to see “try and” written in a scholarly publication!
Wait, are you one of the friends Loz mentioned???
Stop… Hammertime!
Can’t touch this……
Oh damn, is it one of those appliances with the no touch sensor that you have touch without touching it? I could never work those things out.
*Inserts to*
Use your mind, man! Telepathy!
*Attempts to use telepathy*
*Brain explodes*
……………………………..FIRSTFIRSTFIRSTFIRSTFIRSTPHOTOSHOPEDLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111111111111
Let’s elect Palin in 2012!
To what?
To the position of highest-ranking ignoramus.
Hiya
Oh, and thanks for the Neighbours earworm the other
day. That one hangs on in there like it’s got barbs!!
Haha, I totally didn’t think anyone here would pick up on that.
America is well known for not showing much international TV, especially not Australian lol.
It is a stubborn bitch to get out, isn’t it? Heh
DrB,
I was lucky enough to go and see Andre Reu while he was in Brizzy, the orchestra played that theme and it was stuck in our heads for 2 days!…. ARRRRGGGHHH Crap… its back
Try having two songs at the same time… Did i mention they’re Hanna Montana Songs?
Haha, *sings* neiiiiighbourrrrrs!
Andre Rieu sucks ass.
*thinks of another earworm*
Sorry, that was my personaly opinion of course.
Awwww man! Why I always get to this pictures too late? I was going to say that! :p
It’s for hitting water pipes with. Spinkler system, ghetto style!
you DO realise water pipes are underground. And impenetrable from hammers. And the water would gush upwards not out onto the flame like a spinny sprinkler. AND that fire spreads alot quicker than water on land because of absorbtion. AND most of the time you wont find a fire near a water pipe. do you see my point??
You DO realise he was joking right? Do you see my point?
. . .and you get waterpipes in houses, which are generally above ground. And occasionally on fire.
DAM YOU AND YOUR REASONABLE LOGIC!!!!
Are you christian by any chance?
More like beaver.
Christian beaver? I hear that stuff’s off limits.
No, just off the hook.
You won’t get off the hook that easily!
You obviously don’t know of…my shame.
Is the hammer in the wall, in front of it, or is there just a nice hammer sized hole in the wall? It’s hard to tell in that pic.
You can see the shadow behind it, it’s in front of the wall.
Fan the flames with a hammer.
in soviet russia, flames fan YOU with a hammer!
The hammer is in your mind grasshopper…
I’ll get it out!
*splunch*
That had to hurt… oh.. here’s your hammer
…*expires*
no, it’s just photoshopped. hardcore photoshop skills right there, my friend.
Firefighting, Bronze Age style
Smack the ember with a hammer?
Brudder had a hammerhead he bought it for a dime
His sister had anudder one she paid it for de flame
You smack de flame wid de hammerhead you smack them bot’ together
You smack de flame wid de hammerhead then you feel better
Isn’t that called blacksmithing!?!?
Personally, I think that the hammer is used to break that window that says fire extinguisher, and the extinguisher itself is behind it. That’s just me. I’ve seen better.
Where I work, fire extinguishers are kept out in the open, hanging from the wall in the exact same way as that hammer. Personally, I think keeping a fire extinguisher behind glass is rather unnecessary.
it’s to keep the extinguisher warm, cuz we all know how fire hates warmthness, like a mild annoyance.
Or maybe it’s to keep the employees from selling it.
I’ve actually seen that happen… someone at school stole it straight off the wall
STOP! Hammer time
Beat down that nasty fire.
How dare you catch my building on fire? I’m gonna beat your flames in now.
And to think, we were always taught to use water on a fire. Hammers work alot better.
*Watches on as Samuel Jackson fights off venomous snakes to reach the fire extinguisher, a random man in the building next to the fire leans out his window and throws water from a bucket and confused residents of the building on fire try to get through the fire exit but end up stuck in a corner*
If only we had that hammer!
The fire extinguisher is above the sign out of shot – you knock it off the wall by throwing the hammer to dislodge it.
OH&S WIN!
Get your Thor on.
Well in that case why don’t I just shoot a lightning bolt to dislodge the fire extinguisher?
Hell-o? You have thunder god powers. Just use them to whip up a local rainstorm to extinguish said fire. Screwing up wether patterns for hundreds of miles around, foxing planting schedules county-wide, and causing droughts on the other side of the globe leading to thousands of deaths caused by your criminal ignorance. Ooh, ooh, I have to put out a burning building, I am a dumskull *prances about like a spastic ballerina w/crossed eyes and tongue sticking out of the side of his mouth* Well, that’s just PEACHY!! What am I to do with you? *sigh*
#BURP# ohthankgod I thought that turkey hotdog would never leave…
WAAH – wether patterns?! WTF R WETHER PATTERNS?!!
We’ll never know now, they’re all screwed up!
WAAAAH! RICKEEE!
wether patterns: noun, pl. The seemingly aimless wanderings of sheep that, after closer analysis, are revealed to have intricate designs from fractal patterns to pantomimed renditions of “The Merry Wives of Windsor”.
ooh!ooh!ooh!
*flaps arms*
Did you ever see the photographs of sheep circles?
It was fantastic until they explained how they’d got the sheep to stand in circles.
Circles of sheep?!!!!oneone111
OEMGEE WE’RE ALL GONNA DIESORS
Settle, settle. I just misspelled ‘whether patterns’ which is the result of when you transcribe the lecture of any English professor on the second Tuesday of any month with a “r” in it, then translate it into Hebrew (not Yiddish, you’ll die from explosive diarrhea) and examine the pattern of “whethers” that indicates future events in a vague and totally useless manner. This process may keep you from falling asleep during said lecture, but I wouldn’t bet the farm on it, sweetcheeks.
To extinguish the immoral fires of lust in your loins – beat loins with hammer, vigorously. I LOVE being a puritan!
Extreme ‘whacking off’ win?
Whack on – whack off.
You can only do it the one time, but it’s so worth it.
You sound like this bee I know.
Eric the half-a-bee?
I heart half-a-bees.
Semi-carnally?
half heartedly
semi erectedly
turning up the AC should sort that out
Is this the replacement extinguisher for Circuit City?
“…if it don’t work we go berserk and hit it with a hammer”
Damned fires won’t get a job. Lazy bastards!
i can’t see a fail…at least there is a hammer!
The fail is that the hammer is too high up for the snakes to reach, so if there’s a fire they’re all screwed.
na-uhhh snakes are immune to fire
Then the fail is that there is a fire extinguisher in a snake enclosure where all the snakes are immune to fire anyway. Happy now?
Whomsoever can remove this hammer from the wall shall be crowned rightwise King of England.
if this was how England came to elect all their leaders, i think they’d be better off.
A while ago this joke could have been used in reference to America. But not anymore…
Yeah, yeah. Obama… bla bla…
Ninja, please.
*hands over a ninja*
love it love it love it.
*squeeze*
rofl.
Listen — strange women lying in ponds distributing hammers
is no basis for a system of government!
If all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a …err… fire?
If you’re on fire, everything looks like a nail.
This seems like the setup to a bad Chuck Norris joke.
Not until you opened the floodgates….
Holy mongoose in a cupcake! Where are the pliers for dealing with floods?
*looks around panicking*
There are no bad Chuck Norris jokes – even his name imparts perfection. Use this power wisely.
Couldn’t you just take a whiz on the fire to put it out?
That’s your answer to everything…
that is the answer to everything
and that’s YOUR answer to everything…
The answer to that is everything
Your answer to everything is “that”.
Your everything is that answer.
Everything you answer is that!
47!!!!
*facepalm*
When all you have is urine, all your problems look like fire?
If it burns when you wee, go see a doctor.
If liquid fire comes out when you pee, go see Dr. Reed Richards, you may be the Human Torch.
If your trouser-snake is on fire, hit it with a hammer.
You can’t touch this…
Then put it away.
Hey you!
*puts hammer away*
*opens toolbox*
Oh! Is that the one with the ball-bearing drawers?
Yes, but they seems stuck. Do you have any WD-40?
*searches for lube*
Nope, all I have is this half eaten bottle of strawberry KY.
Not even without touching it?
Try to touch the “No touch” sign on the hammer without touching it.
IF I HAD A HAMMER (The Hammer Song)
If I had a hammer
I’d hammer in the morning
I’d hammer in the evening
All over this land
I’d hammer out danger
I’d hammer out a warning
I’d hammer out love between my brothers and my sisters
All over this land
In case of fire, break safety wall with hammer.
In case of fire, take hammer, break the whole wall and RUN LIKE THE DEVIL’S BEHIND YA!!!!!!!!!!!
i guess the hammer is like a last resort, like if the fire is all around you and no way out, hammer in head. boom
Finally, someone as sick mentally as I am. That was my first thought too, if I was on fire I’d love to have a hammer to smash out my brains so I wouldn’t have to suffer burning anymore.
Where’s the fail in this? I beat fires to death with hammers all the time.
which is the main reason ducks are water birds, because they don’t know a thing about tackling fire!
Its funny… but fake… look at how the shadow of the hammer is going in the opposite direction of the pipe next to it
.
Still funny tho
Wow that is horribly photoshoped!
I don’t see the point in the hammer. Why not just kick it till it screams?
Because then daddy will stop!
Dude you break the pipe
Obviously shopped.
Fake!!! u fools
Our comments? Also photoshopped.
Dis has been shopped.
You use the hammer to beat up what/whoever started the fire. I.e., if it’s a stove fire, destroy the stove with a hammer.
And if all else fails, Falcon Punch the fire.
u just take out a person who makes fire before he has done it.
so u just have to be quick
… what?
This should be re-titled to “PHOTOSHOP FAIL”. All of the shadows in the photo fall to the left (light source coming from the right side), except for the hammer. This is such basic retouching stuff, whoever worked this photo AND FAILED should never again be allowed near a computer.
*nods*
Yup definitely for da snakes
deeeefffffinately photoshopped.
when all you have is a hammer, all problems tend to look like nails.
so it’ll probably be alright.
Bang Bang Maxwells silver hammer came down on her head…clang clan maxwells silver hammer made sure that she was dead….*Sings loudly* Am I being obnoxious?
theres actually a sign just out of view that says: “in case of fire, bash head repeatedly.”
What about Shit in a Suitcase?
STOP………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….Hammer-Time
(come on now u had to see this coming)