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Congratulations America.
Hoooray for ussssssssssssss!!!!!
Were you in the crowed outside the Capitol?
Well…I may have crowed just a little!
I bet you’re going to have a rave(n) tonight!
We’re all soaring on Eagles’ wings today!
I jut want this CD for the sound effects!!!
Don’t pigeon-hole me in with the rest of you.
don’t you mean Cardinals’ wings
featured on the degenerates show
An eagle that only has a left wing cannot soar.
Very…punny.
don’t get sucked into a jet engine
I got a lump in my gullet.
It’s difficult to swallow, I know.
It feels good to have removed that albatross around our necks.
Now we’re left with a wing and a prayer for better days to come.
And FINALLY we won’t have a booby in the White House!
He did just parrot everything that he was told to say.
We are all in trouble when he gets control, the voters only saw one thing when they voted and didn’t think to look at experience, background and his empty promises of change for the better.
What is it with all these McCain supports coming out of the woodwork?
Sour grapes.
My answer to Help us all is at the bottom of this page. It is a long quote and I do not want to force blogers to see it.
C’mon, Help us all!, you broke the pun change.
Either he was too lazy to think of any, orioleready ran out of
birds.
That’s a nice quote Marius, and it is applicable.
What the voters saw was the right man for the job. It is what didn’t matter to the voters that made this election special.
there are just a small number of people in the upper class that got their butt kissed by bush daily that are pissed off today. They’ve been proven wrong day after day over the past 8 years and I doubt that is going to change.
A friend of mine made a great claim right after the election.
“In this election, everybody won–those who voted for McCain just don’t realize it yet.”
That was beautiful.
you think he is unexperenced?
well look where the so called “experenced” politions have gotten us.
Grapples.
Comment nesting failure!
Sara! I haven’t seen you around for quite a spell. Welcome back How is the young one doing?
Sara! *HUG!*
And…I love Grapples.
They are all just lost in the wood(, )peck-ing away at a forgone conclusion.
It’s like a jet engine running down on PK, what with Butt hurt Republicans whinging, then grinning Democrat Zombies spewing the party line and telling the Butt hurt Reps to STFU in the same whining tone… And they’re all spouting bull… it’s hell…
God’s teeth, I hate zealots…
sour apples.
“Sour grapes?” Have you already forgotten how the left treated Bush before he’d done anything except beat them in an election?
… FOR THE LOVE OF GOD. SHUT UP, YOU LITTLE DOUCHE.
Just accept that Obama’s president, and get on with your life.
God… so annoying. =_=
I agree.
.
phaw phaw. Smallest violin in the world playing just for “Help us all!”
Sure, but how many of his ideas actually hatched into coherent speech? I think he just (ma)cawed his way through eight years of lunacy!
Don’t you mean – loonacy?
(Bird puns won’t nest below this level)
Tit mouse.
This would make me feel worse about my life because
i’m resulting to stuff like this…
besides, the product would sell better if it knew your name
“Resorting” FAIL
i want it omg D:
play it at partys!!! it would be a huge hit!!!
whens the seond volume coming?
Lol yeah if you need this CD, then you fail really bad at life…
The difference between a right booby and a left booby is what exactly?
Kind of like this:
http://icanhascheezburger.files.wordpress.com/2009/01/funny-pictures-cloning-results-may-vary.jpg
Just enough difference to confuse things!
1. A majority women’s left breasts are slightly larger then the right one.
2. A majority of heterosexual males are right-handed.
3. ???????
4. PROFIT!
*squeeze*
Speaking of breasts…where’d that woman go who kept talking about “Ninja breasts”? Man, she cracked me up.
Psst, you and I may have some business concerning a certain video… -stares-
time to discover step 3. i’ll get right on that.
The truth though is that the reason most women’s left breasts are larger is because most women are right handed. Using your right hand more works the muscles on the right side of the chest more, resulting in a smaller breast (breast tissue is composed mainly of fat.)
Oh.
Well then, I’m normal.
Silly; everyone knows the difference is on which side of the spinal column the booby sits on.
absolutely no difference between the right and left booby, just
a matter of which side you’re more comfortable with and who’s
bullshit you’re prepared to swallow.
Did you say boobies?
>masterbates<
Uhmmmm…. You mean as the president right? You have seen Joe Biden haven’t you? I’d say he falls under the “Booby” category quite well.
All I read from that comment was “Now we’re left… wing… better days to come.”
Higgledy Piggledy
Admiral Apparently
Yearns for the Dragon
From Midnight to Dawn
If he’s not sated
He’ll be so deflated
No green dragon hatchlings
But he’s Dragon’s pawn
Contempt is egotism in ill humor.
Awww…that’s not contempt, Marius. I’ve often found the Admiral quite moved by me!
I acquiesce to your interpretation dear Dragon.
You are far kinder of heart and less inclined to think ill of others.
I am afraid the high troll population has jaded my comprehension skills.
*gives Marius a cookie*
How fun is it that our interactions have resulted in spontaneous outbursts of poetry?? And a double dactyl, no less! Woo!
This didn’t sit well with me, either Marius. I’m nobody’s pawn, and my very dear friend would never treat me that way.
May I remind you that the albatross only became bad luck when
they killed it. Literature is fun!
Ah, me too. I’m tired of our nation being so corroded.
Yeah things are a bit rusty.
I think the fellow faiblog-ers’ cynicism is wearing off on you.
Gah, Cynycism
You had it right the first time.
Only slightly
SSDF
OK, I’ll bite. “SSDF”, Bob?
same stuff different face?
Oh! *facepalm*! “Same shit, different fail”!
Same Shit Different Faces
…but I guess that’s not even accurate, because really it’s SFDP, (Same Faces Different Positions).
thats what she said….
That’s what she said…
Thats what she said…
Thats what she said…
She, apparently, is excruciatingly repetitive.
You can say that again.
Sounds like clone sex to me.
Hooray for “us” in the “US”!
Darn! It just sucks that he’s not the first black Pres…
…I beg your pardon?
:-O
BILL CLINTON! However, the size of America’s… Er… Physical libido… Has grown thee inches! ((ARGH! HATE CENSORSHIP!))
Sorry, but this one went right past me. What are you on about?
Ug… Jokes don’t work when I must explain them…
First black president = Bill Clinton for his “playa pimp” status which so many under-developed thugs have aptly named him… And I was referring to America’s penis growing in size for the fact that we now have a black man in power rather then a white man in power… Just playing off the hilarity of stereotypes… >.<
Um…not to put too fine a point on it, but…that joke didn’t work in the first place.
I’m afraid your “hilarity” is a fail.
Dragon, I think we have another student for your Humo(u)r 101 class, here.
Yeah, enlighten us all….
YAY! My first taste of Dragonwriter’s wrath! *becomes giddy for a reason he should, in fact, rue* And the Bill Clinton part was not meant to be the “hilarity,” simply the thought of stereotypes being humo(u)rous… But I suppose I have failed at this attempt…
“This is not the wrath you are looking for.”
Oh honey…did you think that was wrath??
You have so much to learn, young one.
(And…um…guys? Why is my “wrath” something to be celebrated? Isn’t it supposed to…I dunno, make people want to go away rather than to say “YAY!”??)
I’m aware of that, I’ve been reading on these forums for a while now… Just never bothered to post… Hm… And “everyone remembers their first time” to be something special” in which drugs, alcohol, and broken promises usually take place in the decision making process… And yet, you try with all your might to make it seem like a beautiful and magnanimous night… This might be somehat autobiographical, however… >.<
Posting is overrated. You just do it. You may make a mess the first couple of times, but you move on. And then you find that you gradually get better at it.
So, will I be forgiven my first few times if I make an ass out of myself? As long as I don’t get all troll-ey??? At least I won’t be attacked by the Grammar natzis to often!
You’re well on your way to being forgotten.
I just want to get in there and take the t out for him. It can’t be comfortable, surely.
Hehe – you take the t out and I’ll insert the missing o.
It’s not a total loss. Wit takes time and lots of practise to develop. I used to be completely unfunny, but I found that my humour tends to lie in comics and, sometimes, the written word.
I see what you did there…(or did you?) – Hil(l)ar(it)y Clinton?
I’m reeeeeeeeeeally not sure I want to know the answer to that, coyote.
Toni Morrison was quoted saying something akin to Bill Clinton being our first black president. This was all way before Obama.
When asked about that during the campaign, Obama good-naturedly noted that he’d want to see Bill on the basketball court before he drew any final conclusion.
wow, I must refresh more often, I missed the boat on that one.
Actually, he’s the first WHITE president. I mean, if by being half black he can be considered all black, then his half white status qualifies him as all white also, right?
Half black, half white? Hey it doesn’t matter as long as his lower half is the black part, na’mean? Wait, I am talking about the Oval penis? *hangs head in shame*
Oh my god that’s the most pathetic thing I’ve ever seen! I love it!
only in America
Ellen Degeneres fail
EPIC FAIL, America.
I hereby issue all of you a big, shiny “staying on topic and keeping your political biases to yourself FAIL.”
he must have been retarted
you play that when your havin sex
Oh, and I think Bush could really use one of those.
I like how the puzzle pieces don’t fit together.
I like how it costs ONLY $24.99, down from $35. What a steal for 8 tracks of affirmation/applause and three pewter puzzle pieces.
“All these items normally sell for 35 dollars” REALLY??? THEY DO??? WHERE???
an operator is standing by
An operator is still standing by… and still waiting for a call… Anyone want one? Anyone?
*crickets*
*tumbles*
*rugbys*
*spelunks*
*muff dives*
*pings*
OH MY *%&(*&% GOD!!!!
Sorry , i have a morbid fear of crickets.
*empties trash can full of crickets over girl*
Avis! That poor squirrel.. where will it live now?
You know they’ll make a (small) mint from this product; it cost zero to produce, and the only advertising expenses are TV ad-spot related.
if you call in the next 30 minutes, you will receive this splendid set of plastic
picnic dishes at no extra cost! ask for operator number 347
was that a ‘Little Miss Sunshine’ reference? if so, win. if not, it should have been
Cryptic win?
The puzzle pieces are probably high in lead content.
“Your puzzling medical condition isn’t complete without you! You’ll be the center of attention of your doctors and nurses!”
LOLZ
That’s where a knife sharpener comes in handy. Make ‘em fit!
Narrated by Joel Osteen.
Non-Sequiter bird is non-sequiter….
*roffle*
*souffle*
non sequitur is maybe what you were going for there?
They’re not suppose to… The pieces fit in you! Because without you, the puzzle is incomplete! So shove em in!
*patiently waits for Richard Gere reference*
Apparently not that patiently… you just made one.
I love the original song and most of his other songs as well. He ranks up there with Russell Simmons.
“supposed to” fail
then i get led poisoning but they will help me heart with the defiblulator
What the hell would you make with 3 puzzlepeices with no pictures anyway?!
Bush already has several of these cds. Why do you think he didn’t impeach himself!?
maybe because its JAMES and giant peach, not Bush and the peach. geez
A peach in the bush is worth two in the … nevermind.
Christopher!
*hug!*
You’ve been missed!
Ouch.
A brain? A modicome of compassion? An original thought?
I think Karl Rove always provided that for him!
I think Karl Rove always supplied him with this rather than pesky cabinet meetings and security briefings.
2nd
or 3rd
or 4th
Or failure.
im 5th!!
Speaking of life fail… our second specimen (after the video): mejrm
thank you, TJ! what do i win?
The admiration and respect of other annoying commenters, as well as the contempt of the rest of us. Enjoy!
i will
of course i dont usually comment like that
i just had a sudden desire to annoy people
i felt alive for the first time in my life!
the rush of living on the edge! it was amazing!
You won’t be alive after those tigers devour you.
AWWW! Why can’t they be Ligers? They’re feistier! And more mythical!
Ligers exist.
Check out the name clicky for an altogether impressive example.
(“I can has teh supersizeness?”)
I know, but they are crossbred and aren’t natural… :-/ I just want to believe they have a mythical quality about them!
Like…a puggle?
Crossbred puggles can be found in the newspaper.
I was talking about the purebred variety. :p
I’ve been looking for a registered poddle, myself.
and 6th!
7th
8th
9th
10th
11th!!!
STOP IT!!!!
but im never first
Ladies should always be first
good point!
WIN!!!!
We’ve been over this… Dragon, do you think we need to have a chivalry addition to next semester’s classes? B2F, BFF, Christopher, Fuzz, POB and I could team-teach. (on second thought, scratch BFF, he’s still too young for this subject matter, despite his advanced mental age)
Not a bad idea atall, Lunchbox. Just make sure you invite me on the days you have your practical application demonstrations.
*goes for a ride*
Whee!
I could have a seminar on the practical uses of a cape.
Heeeeeee…!!
BTW…did you get my email the other night, coyote?
Yup, letters exchanged. Looks good. Thanks for being the third party. I have often wondered how such connections could start here without a third.
YAY!!
Now, don’t lose MY email address either, bud.
Just checking in to give big hugs before heading off to dinner with the suits.
*HUG!*
*harrumph*
Admiral, you have demonstrated this particular maneuver so many times already…you have a Ph.D. in it. Let the TA’s take this one.
Damn, I KNEW I missed someone! AA, you have my most sincere apologies. You weren’t on the list as I assumed you’d be the Dean of our little school, along with Miss Dragonwriter. No better faculty a school has ever known!
*toescrape*
Thanks LB. I usually don’t care about making FB lists. Please consider it a sign of respect that this omission caught my attention. I appreciated your follow-up comment.
*blush*
Co-Dean. I like that position.
Of course, it’s only one of many positions that I like…
*wicked grin*
I can see that you two will be needing adjoining offices with pass through doors… and a healthy supply of Do Not Disturb signs…
We’re co-deans because of our dependency.
*enjoys sharing the hot seat*
I think Dragon would say you have a hot seat!
Not entirely sure she’s up for sharing it with any of us though.
Be careful. I hear that co-dean can be habit forming.
Again…
Don’t forget Lou!
His internet is down so he can’t speak up for himself.
Gone but not forgotten. Soon come.
Makai Reference?
If not, it should have been.
What ever happened to equality?!? You sexist pigdog!
Just keep digging, you’re past troll status.
but i like troll status…
do you really? does it really make you happy to do things you know others will find unpleasant? do you really take joy in creating ugliness? really?
he plays warcraft, of course he does!
Damn, we lost another one to the dark side. The stupid is strong in this one.
What is past troll status!? It already seems like a horrid status!
Past troll status is when you are so repeatedly annoying, that the word itself cannot express how irritating you become.
Don’t worry, you’re not one of them.
Yes! I would hope not! Seeing as to how I just began posting today! I am, as they would call me in 1337 speak, “t3h n00b!”
You’re going in the wrong direction, darlin’…
Darn… Failed at an attempt to be crude to gamer freaks… I’m not used to be cynical in any way… The possibility of me getting alive on these forums is ever-expanding… Isn’t it?
of me not getting out alive*
We each take our self-respect in our own hands every time we make a post. Be patient with yourself and the others. Take nothing to heart. The soft middle road is the safest to start with.
Coyote, you seem quite wise! I’ll take what you’ve said to heart and nothing else, in that case!
That’s a good idea…coyote has the biggest heart here.
I’ve comforted a new one and ground a fourteen year old under my heel. This has been a good day already. Time for my afternoon nap. Talk at everyone later.
Oh Good God! Obama has left the car and is walking down the road. The Secret Service must be have twelve kinds of fits!
My own heart was in my mouth the whole time, coyote.
Have a lovely nap!
*sings lullaby*
The post always happens at 10 ET… get there early.
Fear not. I shall always think of you and yours as number two.
That for reporting for duty.
i believe doody is a better fit here (#2)
*facepalm*
Muck3r, I’d suggest you think at least twice before offering a corrective to the Admiral. He may be called “Apparent,” but there are rarely any more subtly elegant or “fit”puns than his.
Put your mind on its tiptoes; there’s apt to be a good deal whooshing overhead, otherwise.
…not to mention some serious *FOOM!*ing.
Since I need to splorrrch for the missed thanks in the original comment, I’ll take a moment to thank the both of you now.
Thanks!
*Splorrrch!*
Damn, I hate turnips.
Ermmmm, what exactly were you doing with that turnip to get that noise?
‘Twas a bukkit of turnip pudding.
Eewwwwwww…
I’ve always wondered what flavor the Admiral’s pudding is.
…Okay, forget I said that…
Turnip curry = heaven.
Last time you mentioned radish curry, no? Or did I hit my head again?
Good memory. Yes, the true reference is radish.
Too late. It is forever seared into our minds.
Wow, that was worthy of Ryannon. *looks skyward, whistles*
What has been read can not be unread.
Oh the humanity.
Tsk. Honestly, you people. It was a perfectly innocent remark.
…*cracks up*…
Okay, I couldn’t say that with a straight face.
That’s enough out of you.
well i would agree to that but considering the fact that i have something known as ‘free speech’…
i think ill keep talking
We don’t count trolls as humans. They are sub human, and you have a spot in the troll cage now.
*boots mejrm into the cage*
Yes, comment trolls have fewer rights than lab animals.
Let me help you with that cage door. *welds cage door closed*
Cheers.
Just one more attachment.
*Dumps troll-eating tigers into cage*
Showtime.
crap…
Are you sure they will go for it? This troll appears to have a particularly vile flavor.
oh thats not me… thats my tumer…
Tumor, you being one, I thought you would know how to spell it.
Malignant potential tbd but exhibiting a frankly infiltrative pattern.
Oh, I think the malignancy is confirmed… and is somewhere around stage three or four.
I knew that there must be a reason I keep wanting to lose my stomachs contents today.
coyote…clickie my name!
*starts thinking of ways to transfer Coyote’s illness to the trolls via the internet*
I’ll let ya know when we’re ready for Beta testing, big guy.
Thanks all, but I am feeling pretty good today. The above comment was for lightheartedness alone.
Dragon, any sightings of a dragon motif flask cane yet?
Not yet, coyote. Lots of sword canes, but no flask canes.
You?
Already have two sword canes of unsatisfactory sorts. Haven’t had a chance to go out looking for antique flask canes. Lots on the web, but no dragon stylings yet.
“It’s not a Tumer!”
you spelled TOOOMOHR! wrong.
*brings in flock to perch on overhead bars of troll cage*
Let ‘em rip, Avis.
My tiny feathered friends are many. And their toilet habits are pretty appalling.
I’m counting on it.
Stuck in a troll cage with tigers and covered in bird droppings. He should be getting close to FOOM ready.
Bird guano IS flammable, right?…..RIGHT!??!
Yup, and possibly explosive. High nitrate levels.
Right!!
Well, since we’ve been feeding the birds with whiskey-soaked grain, it is…
Absolutely. I’m ready and waiting.
I’m here… oh shit, blast zone!
*dives for cover*
*stretches wings to shield the admirable Admiral*
*FOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!*
*watches with satisfaction as mauled, dropping-covered trolls disintegrate into little piles of ash*
Ahhh…nothing like a good fire on a cold day, eh?
You said it!
*waves bag of marshmellows*
Smores anyone?
OOOhhh, absolutely, thanks! I’ll bring the chocolate!
Those marshes are very mellow! I’ll have one, thanks!
-eats some toast- Toasty!
*ponders a good excuse*
Crap.
It’s okay. I’m in a happy mood today. Have a marshmellow s’more.
Thanks!…but it’s alittle too toasted for me.
Yep, especially up here in this ice box they call “Michigan”.
I swear you are non-seq’s little sister.
I can’t believe it, Florida is actually getting cool. Who knew that was possible!?
Yeah, where was Al Gore on THAT one.
It was friggin 42 degrees here in South Florida last night… Not supposed to happen… >.<
Lost in the tubes he invented. It’s his new reality show!
well you didnt have to be rude about it!
besides… i like my cage… its warm and cozy…in summer
It looks like the troll cage is getting crowded… send them to “the Fail Room” instead?
Lady on the couch/chair………couch/chair fail.
THAT’S the only fail you see…??
Off the top of my head…..ok I lied I watched it again
Dude rolls his eyes at beginning, pumps his fist and clasps his hands together like a full blown peter puffing flamer.
Older dude is living with a forest in his living room
Chicks couch/chair is horrendous
Puzzle pieces……pertains to you……..without me the puzzle is incomplete
I could probably watch again and pick out some more FAIL
Hmmm…. Maybe if you turn up the sound and actually LISTEN to it, you’d understand better? Go try it again.
I listened…I thought that stuff was a given FAIL….I was pointing out the visual fail not the auditory. I did forget the “As seen on Ellen” WTF am I explaining this to you? LOL
fail understanding fail
Wow, that guy has some serious self esteem issues! He’s really rocking out to that cd …
‘had’ some serious self-esteem issues, this cd has obviously solved his problems. that should have been clear
Saddest fail ever.
Or happiest for those of us watching it!
I agree with nuclearfish – but then again, I’m so perverse (not perverted) that owning that CD would make me want to kill myself.
oath fail!
the guys in that commercial look constapated
you can’t even spell shit
That’s one bad case of verbal diarrhea…
That’s because he talks out of his ass.
None of those puzzle pieces fit together.
Is a puzzlement. . .
Being a jigsaw puzzle fan, I’d actually like to have the 3 puzzle pieces.
it would be funny to have a big jigsaw puzzle going on the table, and find a spot for one of these stupid pieces to fit so people can see it and be like, wtf?
I’m sure they used a real puzzle piece to make the pattern. But, that would be neat! I’d have to glue the puzzle together with the pewter one in it and frame it. It would be a conversation piece, for sure.
Then everyone would be at peace knowing the puzzle piece was placed perfectly upon your mantle(piece).
they even wear the headphones backwards, they need encouragement
secretly none of them fit together…
then again its not that much of a secret…
Why are you still here?!
why are you!!!???
because we like him. we just don’t like you.
Calm down people. Anyone can be here.
but some shouldn’t…
That’s what makes it so much more interesting! The “shouldn’t” people get to experience the wrath of the “should” people, and a good time is had by… some!
no.. the others.. *teehee*.. but you, Sir, have a point…
I kind of enjoy the troll chasing. When both the troll and the chaser are into it and a little imagination is implemented I get a few yuks out of them.
I’m a little ashamed to admit it, but…I really like poking the trolls.
Yes…I usually do pay for it! :[
But it’s often with it!
*sigh*
“worth” it.
*takes the bukkit from the Admiral*
*KER-SPLORTCH!!*
You always show your worth.
She’s always worth the show, too!
Anyone have a…snow shovel??
I have a SHINY Spatula you could borrow!
*grabs spatula*
*flattens SB’s hat*
Shoo!
*fixes hat*
*timidly offers Admiral a cookie*
*smiles*
That’s not gonna do it.
Put away those fiery biscuits
*skips away*
Lalalalala.
*hands Dragon the bukkit* *snert*
I suppose it’s a given that I enjoy poking the trolls?!
Oh hell, hand it back! I was too late!
Nonsense. You are far too timid.
We are sistahs of the bukkit today, Avis.
*ker-SPLORT*
*sigh*
Dragon, why does Coyote think I’m TIMID when it comes to the trolls?
I have no idea. You’re harder on them than I am!
My “timid” comment was a big steaming pile of sarcasm. Although it is so cold in Chicago that it probably instantly froze on delivery.
Oooooooh….!
Dat makes more sense.
Yes, it’s that cold here!
Coyote, I’ve missed you the last couple visits. How are you?
Doing well. Eating like a starved horse. Next session is a week after tomorrow. After that it is up to DSHS to get off of thumbs and decide if I get a transplant or not. Fred Hutch wants to see the insurance or money up front.
Coyote, I’ve been gone everytime you’ve popped on, so let me take this moment to say that you and your family will be in my thoughts. Lots of hugs and kisses and squeezes to you!!!
Good to hear you have your appetite. Sad to hear you have to fight the Red Tape Bureaucrats in addition to everything else. Keep up the good fight!
You are in my thoughts.
just teasing. there there. there there. it’s all going to be ok.
Lies
“LIAR AND SLAVE!”
He wants some friends
I’d recommend you buy this CD mejrm
i dont need friends i have my skate board… im pretty happy with that
besides im 14…you cant expect me to leave because my elders told me too
what does it mean to be a troll anyway?
You know, BFF JUST turned 15 and he knows how to conduct himself in a public forum. You should be taking notes.
He may not know how to write yet.
MEJRM: Avis has some excellent advice for you. Pay attention to the little things, like grammar and spelling. This can be a very fun place, or it can be a very miserable place. The experience you have here depends on YOU. All you have to do is not intentionally irritate people, as you are today, and read before you post. That’s a pretty good start.
I second this ^ , good advice LB/Avis.
Some please define TROLL for mejrm…
I left my fail class notes in my other, (realizes he doesn’t own pockets), um, the dog ate them.
*holds mirror in front of mejrm, aimed towards him*
This.
I know! You used them for your nest.
Shhhhh! Don’t TELL! It’s been Realllllly COLD!
wow.
a fellow 14 year old finally accomplished in destroying my entire generation of the internet.
GOOD BYE.
Your progenitors have exhausted letters to describe the generational unfoldings and have resorted to colors. Have no fear; it was all made for you. What you encounter are fading remnants.
wow… too much fail
Obama started out with simple applause for school presentations. He began to savour the feeling he got when people cheered for him… he began to ask his friends to encourage him, to give him shouts whenever they could. Eventually, his need for adulation became so great that he decided to take on the ultimate challenge:
Becoming president.
This is the sad story of someone who, if he had owned this CD, would never have had to make speeches, shake hands, open hearts and minds.
If you or someone you know shows symptoms of addiction, don’t let them become president. Give them this CD.
Sour grapes.
grapes of wraith?
Grapes are the fruit of opportunity!
I thought they were just future brandy.
Presenting the opportunity for young ones with no alcohol tolerance to make asses of themselves! But, my alcoholic tendencies aside: You get a crappy apple, and you’re stuck with that crappy apple ((Or other fruit of your choice!)), you get a crappy grape, and your presented with the hope of picking another one out of the batch!
I like that.
I wish I could claim the comedic thought behind the second part of my little post, but I must give credit to Demetri Martin… An amazing comedian!
It is amazing how much good philosophy wears the guise of comedy.
Well, he is a a recognized genius by the US Government… And he implements his genius into his comedy routine!
Crappy apples can be fermented also, my alcoholic tendancies aare always talking. grapes just produce more alcohol
Whoo! *begins grabbing fail apples in order to make a giant distillery and beer company so it can be bought out by a random Swedish guy for 8 billion dollars ((Or something of that sort))*
Will probably end up being a not-so-random (and remarkably brilliant) Belgian. Time will tell.
Wait, I just realized that’s like saying if someone’s addicted to crack, give them a big bag of crack. With three puzzle pieces that don’t fit.
Oh, well.
If that’s the case, someone should take away your computer.
*snork*
SOURCE.
because i can make shit up about Republicans.
and it would be way worse.
“ooooh! obama likes to be cheered!”
WHAT A MONSTER!!!!!!!!!
is this for real? it looks more like a joke than anything serious.
Omg, has anyone actually checked out thegoodcheercompany.com
It’s so…..uuuugh. Do people really need this crap? And omg, there’s a ton of those ‘don’t fit together’ puzzle pieces. jeez.
I think if you actually feel insired to buy this either:
a) you don’t actually need it or
b) you need some prozac.
are a gay dude
or an over expressive teen girl?
you that is
*facepalm*
Niether, thanks.
Which one are you?
I before E except after C and in the word neither.
Weird.
Neighbor.
Weight.
That’s heinous.
Weigh to go, Dragon!
The rule really goes “I before E except after C, except when sounding like EH like a Canadian would say”
That’s weird, I’ haven’t heard that one.
That apostrophe is appalling. *apologizes*
It’s actually fascinating; resembles the fascist emblem. Of course that may be what you meant by “appalling.”
I knew there were others, I just typed the first three that came to mind!
I have not spelling skills…..I fail….damn, that sucks
(Continues from bmerri) except when pronounced like a as in neighbor and weigh. . .
It’s not a sovereign science.
Should I feign interest in this conversation?
… and not on Old McDonald’s farm.
…and does not mainly fall on the plain.
With a “quack quack” here, and a …
Llama llama duck!
Link please? This I have to see.
Well, by all means…
Brilliant! Another vid to watch with the kids …
“…and on weekends and holidays and all throughout May, and you’ll always be wrong no matter what you say!”
Or sounding like A, as neihbor and weigh.
Maha, don’t feed the trolls, please. They just multiply and take over.
Please don’t try to live down to my expectations.
*sigh*
Too late.
I take offense at homophobic-wanna-be-jokes. but you can trash teen girls alright.
Respect is due to our future mothers.
Omg i cant believe this actually worked!!!
After seeing this i actually feel less pathetic!!!
Of course this works. It’s like therapy, only crummier.
What makes psychotherapy supracrummy?
and gosh darn it, people like you!!!
Sure they do, Stuart!
Nothing cheers me up more than having someone talk down to me like I’m 4 years old! I feel better already!
good job,scotteh! goood boy!
whos a good boy? whos a good boy?
yes you are!
Yay!!!! Walkies???? huh??? can we??? wheeeeee!!!!
chiair
The chiair recognizes Loz.
Loz recognises the admirable admiral.
*squeeeeze!*
Oops, sorry about the rib.
*runs off to study*
LOZ!!!
*HUGS*
I haven’t seen you here in ages!
Yeah, good to see you Loz!
*hugs*
Last exam tomorrow, thank goodness!
Miss you guys,
*hugs LB and BFF*
*wistful look*
Best of luck to you! Kick butt!!
*extra big hugs for dragon!*
*kicks coyote in the butt* …is that a… potato?!
Hee!
Scotteh, piss on his leg.
*snork!*
I was going to say, “Piddle on his shoes”, but yours is MUCH more pithy.
*goes for a ride*
*rides a gopher*
Lucky Dragon.
Not that I’m disagreeing with you, but…whyfor do you say I’m lucky?
My dear, that would have read “Lucky DW.” (:
It was just an approximate spot to let someone know that I saw what they did across a couple of other fails last night even though it was after I’d gone to bed, because it made me laugh my ass off. It began with 1/4 GET and ended with the naming of a hamster.
^ multiple errors, but point hopefully stated.
Umm…..
I get that you weren’t talking to me, but that’s about it. But, LOTS of people call me Dragon, so that’s why I was confused.
Seeing as this is the 2nd time I’ve used the word Dragon, leading to confusion, I’ll strictly refer to you as “DW” or Dragonwriter. Any other “Dragon” will have to do with something else. Also, I’d never try to malign you – and any off-color humor (if it arises) includes no intended malevolence.
Okay…but I don’t promise that I’ll stop being confused by it!
OK
I might avoid the explicit history next time
*rides a stouffers lean cuisine*
*Rides a toothbrush*
Unless it’s scrubbed with belladonna, which brings a certain timelessness.
Yay, my mother says I’m a catch; and now a recorded voice is cheering for me.
Finally I feel validated… or something.
Someone needs to put that square peg in a round hole.
ill do it!
*tries sticking it in*
hmm i think its broken…
wait ill get my chain saw..
*stands by with 9-1-1 at the ready*
Youngster, you are the last,/i> person on here today that needs to be playing with a chainsaw!
*whispers to Lunchbox about natural selection*
I was hoping a little reverse psychology would do wonders… never tell a 14-year-old BOY they cannot do something. It virtually guarantees they WILL do it!!
.
Come to think of it, that goes for males of almost any age…
In that case, you are absolutely forbidden to get undressed in here.
*Ziiiiip*
What, I was just… umm, where are my pants?
Oh katy…you brilliant woman you.
*high-fives*
Oh Lunchbox!
-stares-
There’s nothing to correct here, people…
*secretly closes tag for lunch*
Please go on now..
Thanks, Sharkee, good to know you’ve got my back!!!
Actually, I was loving the /i> emoticon, but, I don’t know, it looks a little too hip for someone who sleeps with his skateboard has to count to 11 before he gets it that he’s acting like a loser.
I think you need some inspiration. I know of this great CD where people cheer you on…can’t remember what it’s called tho…hmmm
I’ll be the peg, will you be…….. *eye’s Mookie*, well, ya know
The tone is reminiscent of Joseph A. Banks’ ads.
You’re gonna love the way you look.
Fake it ’till you make it FAIL
You have no idea, as a psychologist, how sorrowful that fail was :/
(Congrats on Obama btw = Epic win.)
There is no spoon, nor cake, nor sorrow.
well if its one thing i know the only way i feel better about myself when i kick some @ss in the ring!
i always feel better after punching some guy in the face a few times!
Okay people! I don’t believe that anyone will argue with me when I say that we have today’s Pathetic Person of the Fail Winner!! Congratulations merjm! Well done sir.
*looks for the cheers to you album to give to mejrm*
I didn’t think the kid had it in him to be such a great failure and so soon!
If he keeps it up at this pace, he’ll be nominated for the Fail hall of fame in no time!
Which is located in the Fail Museum, introduced several months ago. His name will go alongsides such trolls as mr sausage, DrDr and many others.
Doesn’t that hono(u)r require a little more persistence than a fifteen-minute-cameo?
We just hope that it is a cameo.
Or that maturity happens.
Good to see ya posting, Coyote. Hang in there.
that’s creepy
Because you’re smart enough, and gosh darn it people like you.
Wow, this seems like an SNL commercial parody. It makes me sad that it’s real.
I want to buy one for all my emo friends.
“I don’t need friends, I have a skateboard.” ….wejrm ^
Isn’t it mejrm? :p
My bad. I suppose if he had a normal name like Super God Jesus Spider, I wouldn’t have been confused.
At that age, I also did not need friends because I had a skateboard. Of course at the time my means of pollution-by-word was a literary journal (perhaps a relatively insignificant difference).
I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and doggone it, people like me…
hurray for youuuuu!!!
I had to share this. Assuming it works.
I tried your name. It didn’t work.
Linkie didn’t work for me either.
Just chop off the “homcfm” part.
I fixed it!
OH! I know that guy! He’s the ICQ guy!
The “I’m Sorry” one is my favorite. Hee hee hee…!
Mine too! I’ll probably link to that one next time I step in it here.
Thanks, Avis, for giving me a new item for my toolbox! I’m gonna save that to ‘pwn’ some of the guys at work.
Try again!
Works… is cute
Crap. Ok, let’s try this again. And click my name to see it.
*takes away Avis’s favorite spatula for saying “Crap”* {PS: it’s SHINY!
}
Avis, wash your mouth out with salty vinegar and you can have it back, K?
You’ve got to be shitting me.
Avis…glower at this skwerl.
*glowers*
*puts on biohazard suit and scurries into nuclear bunker*
*pops head up*
Hey BFF, betcha didn’t know I was already hiding in your biohazard suit ! Gee, nice bunker you have here! Did you know Avis and Dragonwriter are mad at me? I have a nice shiny spatula! Wanna see?
Skwerlly, I don’t know who’s spatula you have there, but it’s not mine. Mine are all orange.
orange?
Orange. All of ‘em.
I thought the Easy Bake Oven was BLUE!
*looks in toy box* Yup, Blue!
*is most emphatically NOT easy*
*doesn’t play with toys anymore either*
Well, not THAT kind anyway.
-stares- Oh my, it does make the eyes watery!
Hey Retaba! Watch out! Avis is mad at me. I have a nice shiny spatula! Wanna see? Wanna cookie, I have LOTS!
Now now, if this is a ploy to get me to be some kind of shadow shield…
Shiny you said?
Skwerlly, how many of those cookies have you had anyway?
And what did you put IN them, Avis??
Oh, this and that.
And the other?
And then some!
Ms. Avis, by any chance were some of the acorns, that you made Skwerlly Bob’s cookies from, fuzzy or glowing or humming in any way ?
*waves Avis’s Favorite Spatula around*
See? SHINY! *sunlight sparkles*
BURRRRP! *counts*
I has sebbumity-teen not counting the crumbles
MORE?
BFF, GET OUT OF THE BIOHAZARD SUIT NOW!!!!
No more, I’m out of … um… ingredients.
I LIKES “umingredients” *hops around gleefully*
*assumes cute skwerll begging pose #5* MORE?
Less. As in, how about you try less skwerl and more Bob?
point taken… it was wacky mood day
Wait… sunlight shiny!? Blasted squirrel wants to blind me!
Oooo! Scary MONSTER! Eeek!
hee hee hahahahahah ROFLAO!
*Scampers back to Cookie Stash*
Would you object to me throwing giant shiny metal plates around with a bunch of dwarves in attempt to reflect the sunlight at you?
Would you object if I…
*SQUEEEEEZE!*d you?
*points at something behind Mikey*
Look over there!!!
*runs*
People in coma listen this.
Hurray for Bin Laden! Hurray for KKK! Hurray for moot!
Hurray for chocolate rain! Hurray for je… no, not for jew.
You see, this is the kind of racist crap trolls spew forth that makes them hated everywhere.
BFF, this is the same asshole autospam troll from yesterday. The link site is the same one, and lord knows no racist supporting the KKK would EVER be pro-Bin Laden.
Lolita has just made me rescind my earlier post about anyone being allowed here. DO NOT CLICK ON HER NAME. IT IS A MALICIOUS LINK. She (more likely he) is here to cause trouble alone. THIS IS NOT A JOKE! DO NOT CLICK ON HER NAME. IT IS A MALICIOUS LINK.
Unless you happen to be Mjerm, in which case clicking on her name will make you an instant millionaire! Go ahead, Mjerm, do it!
*stands on the sidelines to watch the show*
I fell into this trap yesterday, which is how I knew up there^ about the link… I strongly suggest everyone look at the url for that link, http ://havjer.site.voila.fr/ and remember it for future avoidance.
I tried, still broke.
I stand corrected.
I stand erected.
Eiffel … ?
Do you mind if I sit this one in? *smiles at B2F*
Darnit… I allowed my curiosity to get the best of me… >.< I now forever hate french… The language! Not the people!
Pandora, Pandora, Pandora. When will you learn?
I’ll learn when Curious George does!
((Yes I realize I just compared myself to half-retarded monkey… I welcome and humiliation you all throw at me…))
In all likelihood, your new viruses suffice.
wow 0-0..so who is ellen degenares?
She is a very good stand up comedian turned talk show host.
I forget which show it was on but they had her (Ellen) pretend to be a “Pretend Ellen” on a stand-up show….When the crowd was asked if she did a good job someone of them responded with “I think she’s better than the real one.” or “The real Ellen is better looking.” ….f’ing HILARIOUS.
She’s beast, look her up
In for 3
Such an big fat fail
Man I feel so pathetic.. sitting here at home… listening to some CD cheer for me..
I get my money back now right?
HOOORAY FOR YOU!!! LOL HAHAHA. Now only 24.5 us dollars XD.
Haha funniest clip on failblog on a long time:D
Feel the love, peeps!
Feels *mmmmm nice
*, chirps!
O M G
omggoshhh – yeah if your feeling down just listen to total strangers screaming in your ears and play with random puzzle pieces telling you that you arent worthless!!! yeah!!
Looks like a lost sketch from Mr. Show
Yay, Mr. show reference!
Oh, and agreed, completely.
What I want to know is where the hell did they find the guy who did the voice on the CD? Even I could do a better job than he did.
that would honestly make me feel worse
suicidally worse
Yes you can!
“We’re all winners!”
J-e-s-u-s-t-i-t-t-y-f-u-c-k-i-n-g-C-h-r-i-s-t
I’ll have two
That’s just depressing.
Where can I get this video? I need some cheering desperately.
I could not find any torrents.
if you fail…, we’re here for you
I’d be pissed that those puzzle pieces don’t fit together.
…regrettable as it may seem to the idealist,the experience of history provides little warrant for the belief that real progress,and the freedom that makes progress possible, lies in unification.For where unification has been able to establish unity of ideasit has usually ended in uniformity, paralysing the growth of new ideasAnd where the unification has merely brought about an artificial or imposed unity,its irksomeness has led through discord to disruption.Vitality springsfrom diversity- which makes for real progress so long as there is mutual toleration,based on the recognition that worse may come from an attempt to suppressdifferences than from acceptance of them. For this reason, the kind of peacethat makes progress possible is best assured by the mutual checks created by abalance of forces- alike in the sphere of internal politics and of international relations.~ B. H. Liddell Hart
Stupid space bar!
…regrettable as it may seem to the idealist, the experience of history provides little warrant for the belief that real progress, and the freedom that makes progress possible, lies in unification. For where unification has been able to establish unity of ideasit has usually ended in uniformity, paralysing the growth of new ideas and where the unification has merely brought about an artificial or imposed unity, its irksomeness has led through discord to disruption. Vitality springsfrom diversity- which makes for real progress so long as there is mutual toleration, based on the recognition that worse may come from an attempt to suppress differences than from acceptance of them. For this reason, the kind of peace that makes progress possible is best assured by the mutual checks created by abalance of forces- alike in the sphere of internal politics and of international relations.
~ B. H. Liddell Hart
That’s the type of encouragement I need!
this fail is recycled
i feel duped.
I made a bootleg of you; would you like a copy?
I think a Viagra and a porno would be better
that’s just what this country needs…an automatic voice telling us that were worth something…and that guy in the end…what’s his problem? Did they visit the mental facility to hire actors for this lame commercial??
Don’t really know if they did, but think back, did you see any there recently?
“Without me, the puzzle is incomplete”. Well, duh the puzzle would be incomplete, there would be nobody to take it out of the box in the first place. Usually one person works on a puzzle, but it depends on the situation. If I was to put something on a puzzle piece like that I would be saying, “Without me, all the Red Bull in my house would go to waste”! XD Very funny video though! I have never seen a commercial like that ever.
I think the one thing that would depress me the most in life is realizing I’ve gotten to the point where I have to listen to a tape that says “hooray for youuuuuuuu!”
In the good ‘ole USA you can buy anything… even approval… ON CREDIT!… well… not so much anymore…
Here’s my opinion on Mccain supporters can you do anything about it now? No you can’t so give it up and quit complaining. And yes if Mccain had won and Obama supporters were whining I would say the same thing to them.
Well I do feel better about myself now.
I still can’t believe their practically giving it away at $25…
wow idk which makes me feel better, reading failblog comments or this cd
I laughed to tears. I want this simply for the sarcastic applications. I have a friend come in and tell me they need encouragement? I’d just slip that puppy in and give them a big fake smile and two thumbs up. “You’re the best!… But nooot reaaallyyy…”
Wow Thats Incredibly Sad XD
So… anyone realize that half the ppl have the headphones on backwards?
im going to make my own cheer up c-d, called “cheer up emo kid, or i will show you how bad it can get!”
I feel better about my life just for having watched that advertisement. At least I have real friends to give me encouragement.
Is this the young Jim Carrey?
No, just an Architect in Springfield, MO
The guy who decided to try selling these might need listening to his own cd when he realize he needs to pay back the loans he acquirred to make that cd and commercialize it. I hope the cd will make it pull the shotgun away from his mouth when he gets the news of such an epic failing commercial flop.
they definitely won’t make any money from this because people will either not want to buy it or everyone who DOES buy it will get their money back
Recognition of the fact that it was a fail for this reason and others FAIL
hmmmmmmmmmm
things like that only happens in America…
*sigh*
Well, This is what we need according to the low self esteemers club.
Oh. I was thinking a commercial for depression meds would come on afterward or something. haha.
man, those Sennheiser headphones are backwards…
AAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaa1!!1!!!1
T_T
greaters commercial!!!!!1111111
i want this cd
Live Your LIFE…
LIFail
Live your life…
LIFail!
Puzzle fail.
You get all excited about the applause, until you find your new puzzle pieces just don’t fit together and you’ve failed at life yet again.
Live your life…
LIFail!!
Live your life…
LIFail!!!
Live your life…
LIFail!!!!
Live your life…
LIFail!!!!!
Too bad the first guy was wearing the headphones backwards… no wonder he needs the encouragement…
I’ve got to say,
If you were an average guy turning up to shoot a commerical to put some cash in your pocket, and when you arrived, they gave you this script, you’d sabotage the set as well as you could as well.
The headphones were his secret win, good on him.
579th!
… really?
*tazes*
What’s so failed about this?
really? id buy it…
bahahaha! that is really really funny~ Especially the douchbag at the start who is sitting there getting all psyched about it! haha classic!
It could have been worse. Luckily, Richard Simmons didn’t do the voice in the commercial.
Whoever buys that product is pathetic. Honestly.
That was annoyingly stupid.
I’d much rather cut myself.
I have NEVER been so sad in my whole life as I am right now for the people on that commercial. Look at them… sitting in their little chair and nodding and smiling… “Yes… I’m VALID!”
My dreams tonight will be haunted with “Hooraaay for youuuuu!!!”
It isn’t the product that’s fail, it’s the price. 25 dollars for an applause track? Give me a break.
the eighth track is: “you are a wonderful individual who inspires joy joy feelings in those around you!”
Haha sowas kann nur den Amerikanern einfallen!
haha im so downloading that cd !
GOOD GOD how sad is this shit! i wonder if anyone actually bought one of these…
Re this video – if only it were so easy…
i feel VERY bad right now
What if I suicide? I’ll get my money back?
I remember seeing this commercial on T.V. and thinking “what’s gonna happen to the poor idiot who tries to fit those puzzle pieces together and realizes they don’t fit? What’s gonna happen to his already dwindling self-esteem?”
“We BELIEVE in you!”
We also believe in Harvey Dent.
HOORRAAAY FOR YOOOUUU!! LOL
WOW This is easily the most ridiculous thing i’ve ever seen.
Without the puzzle pieces, the fail was incomplete…
i bet this was on george bush’s christmas list
I want to stand on a street corner in a clown suit handing these out to passing emo kids.
Why do none of the puzzle pieces fit together?
I can’t be the only one who finds it ironic that the free puzzle pieces wouldn’t actually fit together…
You’re not.
Why spend 24.99 on that crap when you can use it to buy weed?
Nobody noticed the guy saying ‘The finish line is closer than you thinked!”?
They all fail since their headphones are in the wrong direction~ Right-left is inversed~
I guess it was the only way to keep them from laughing.
aw man. I read “Life fail”, and I was hoping this post would be a picture of Michael Moore or Louie Anderson doing something funny. Bummer.
OMF.. BUUUUAAAAHAHAHAHAAAAHAHAHAAAAAAA!!!
That video can’t possibly be serious and if so, that is sad that people have to buy that to “feel better about themselves”.
It was funny though!
Oddly enough, Lou Ferrigno used to lift weights listening to a tape of the appllause from a Frank Sinatra record.
The saddest part is the puzzle pieces don’t even connect.
this is kinda funny but a little annoying…
I guess they got those cheering people from Obama’s primary campaign rallies. Those people will cheer for anyone who hasn’t earned it!
How much you wanna bet the makers of these tapes are contemplating suicide by now?
why would you put it in the DVD player and then listen to it though head phones?
and wow. it’s been on the Ellen show?! probably to make fun of it.
Don’t drink water while watching this. XD
Tisk tisk… trying to rip off Swetward Smalley’s “You’re Good enough, You’re Smart Enough, and darnit.. people Like you”
lol i actually saw that commercial
I LOVE the guys facial expression during all this X]
This image loads so disgustingly slow.
Website FAIL.
How is this fail? i can’t see any fail here.
We are your friends, you are awesome, and we think you should kill your parents!! yeah for you!!!
I have those headphones, and he is wearing them backwards, even more fail…
whats so encouraging about listening to a dvd that doesnt even know you say “hurray for you!”
HOORAY FOR YOU!!!!
Grammar fail haha
Well I’m nearly a year late in responding to this, but I just can’t let it go…:
Chass says:
January 20, 2009 at 10:08 pm
The truth though is that the reason most women’s left breasts are larger is because most women are right handed. Using your right hand more works the muscles on the right side of the chest more, resulting in a smaller breast (breast tissue is composed mainly of fat.)
This makes no sense. Working out a specific body part will not burn fat in only that one spot. For instance, doing situps won’t burn fat on your stomach, and using your right hand won’t burn fat in your right breast. You can build muscle in targetted areas, but can not burn fat in targetted areas.
Hooray for breasts!
what the hell has this world come to…