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A haiku! Very nice. I’m not good at those.
neither is Rooter Rute
Glad to see that my
wonderful idea has spread
throughout the comments
Haiku wtf?
It’s 3 lines of words without rhymes and without sense, wooow! You haikus suck big time!
Et à propos, arrêtez de parler l’allemand sur un site anglais, bordel de merde!
SHIIIRLEYYYY, can you translate this?
Translation: “Something about almonds and annilingus?”
古池 や
蛙 飛込む
水 の 音
anus lingus? Someone’s pumpin’ in Mianus.
“And by the way, stop speaking German on an English site, bloody hell!”
(I believe that’s correct)
I think that was French.
no, that was the translation of the french above.
*wipes mouth* What was your name again?
mm … tastes like freedom
(French is just another word for nothing left to lose.)
I surrender, baby.
Le jour de gloire est arrivé.
qu’un sang impur…abreuve nos sillons!
Fuck no!
Mais non, Confoozled, ici ca serait,
“Let pure honey blanket our pillows.”
it doesnt say that……….. it says “”"But not,
(somthing(prolly not french at all, just gibberish)
here, some pillows”"”
My gosh, then let the honey flow.
My, did I take something negative from that.
My French is not so sharp.
Haiku fail!
I prefer the more literal “Bordello of Sh!t.”
Franchement, ce nom est trop gentil pour lui.
Yep, exactly! Welsh done!
Fischers Fritze fischt frische Fische.
It is not too hard,
you see, to make a haiku,
though it does take skill.
Another haiku…
What a wonderful new theme
For me to poop on.
Jack Mehoff likes gum
Mix in the spearmint flavor
Extra minty sperm
Just 3, 5, and 3
Does not a haiku make.
Elegance is key.
And all great poets
Should count syllables in poems.
Bucket is in order.
Hanging drapes, oh no!
A table, a backwards fall
Potato so deep…
Trip to the hospital
Oh the never-ending shame
Mash for dinner.
Appetite now gone
Must gouge out potato eye
Bad visual Bad
Haiku’s are easy
but sometimes they don’t make sense
refrigerator
docta balls wrote
a comment that made my day
I like turtles
Ahh…but can you master the art of the THREE WORD haiku??
Pulchritudinous,
Unsanctimoniously
Diabolical!
Esoterica:
psuedointellectual
synchronicity?
I went to Failblog
fell in love with the folks there
never want to leave
Callipygian;
Revolutionarily
Curvaceousness
Fecundity swells;
post vasectomy, this is
surreptitious.
^ *removes “un” from name*
un down, nowhere to go
Proverbially sage advice.
i think i’m new here
lets try take this up a gear
preoccupation
A haiku should have
references to season or
nature as a rule.
After the warm rain
the sweet smell of camellias.
Did you wipe your feet?
.
(from “Jewish Haiku” collection, @ name clickie)
Simple imagery is
More important than pithy
Syllable counts
thats not a haiku, lol, and its not 2 5 and 5 either,,,,,,,,
No, it’s my way of demonstrating that the content is more important than rigidly sticking to the 5/7/5.
Eep! Now I see Damage wasn’t referring to my comment.
Nest following-FAIL on my part!
Recognition of
relative importance of
relativity.
.
No fail.
Just end your sentence
When the count of syllables
Reaches seventeen
Excellent advice
I’ll count rather carefully
The soundest of reaso-
best.haiku.ever.
Two more lines, please please?
I’m sure HAL could finish the haiku for himself.
…
give me your answer
true, I’m half crazy
-ons
for abstracted swells
that (beyond tally) measure.
Here’s application
of soundest reason and care
to affairs of life –
.
When dilly says please,
one should have a clear head on
and a true heart on.
Head not always clear,
other than true heart not known,
primordially.
Stuck head up bottom
Life outlook now dark and crappy
Doesn’t life stink
I’m guessing the reasoning for the staging on the truck is for ground isolation. I like the rope to angle the staging closer to the pole. The guy on the small aluminum ladder is probably the one that gets zapped, then the other guy laughs so hard he falls too. You might be a redneck if….
Are you actually yo-man, or are you just doing his work?
whoa! who says I work?
Most yeomen I know are petty and never really work.
I’d be interested in hearing his Tale, though.
But al thyng which that shineth as the gold nis nat gold, as that I have herd it told.
*quivers*
Wow, I didn’t see the rope at first. That makes it even worse, this is actually intentionally built like that… despite there being so many ways it can go wrong.
Well, that’s a first for me. I read all the way down to here before I realized I hadn’t even looked at the fail, and didn’t know what this comment meant. Weird. It better be good, now I have to scroll all the way up there.
Well? was it worth it? Don’t leave me hanging.
Wait, was I supposed to look at it? All the speds at the bottom say nobody talks about the fail anyway, so I was going to see if I could get by with not bothering.
lol the picture isnt even the phaile, your supposed to read the
comments
Haikus are stupid.
That wasn’t a bad start. Two more lines please.
This is dilly, and I approve this comment.
Haikus are easy
But sometimes they dont make sense
Refridgerator
ZZZzzzzzt! I smell hair!
I see dead rabbits!
They’re not dead, they’re just pining for the fjords.
Eek, I hope it’s not the killer rabbit of Caerbannog!
‘Sokay, Loz. I’ve got the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch, just in case…
Thank god, I was wondering where that had got to.
Do you also have the shellacked hallibut and the red pen? Just wondering… ’cause I left them lying around here somewhere while I was away…
the shellacked halibut was used somewhat and may require more shellack, but the red pen was lost or a troll ate it.
Oh
it’s probably for the best I guess.
Who’s got the innuendo machine? It seems Ryannon and Mookie have taken custody of it…
What, you didn’t get the red pens I sent you for Christmas?
Welcome back.
*offers hug*
It’s still safely tucked away in Lunchbox’s pants
(it’s had to be repaired a couple of times due to overload…).
I’m glad it’s still in Lunchbox’s pants, probably the safest place for it. Not to insinuate that nobody would dare go near LB’s crotch, of course…
*sends off a new shipment of red pens*
The innuendo machine has been difficult to fix because nobody seems to have the right spanner for those nuts. Now they’re all stripped.
The red penis stuck in the copy machine, Loz.
*hides spanner behind back*
…What? Honestly, it’s more fun without it!
Well, it seems many people, both male and female, have been trying to get into LB’s fire gear. He has fought them off valiantly but the job seems to wearing him down somewhat. Perhaps we could send it to the Large Hadron Collider peopel and let them use it as a Proton Beam target?
*
peopelpeople**X’s own forehead with Red Pen*
*takes aim*
Now where did I leave that minty fresh cum…
*spits* There.
Thanks Mookie, can always rely on you to produce the goods!
Mookie didn’t produce it but stored it.
I inspect the innuendo machine on occasion to make sure it is still functioining.
I hope you apply adequate lubrication.
All I have to do is talk dirty to it and the lubrication magically appears.
What the hell happened? Emoticons are invading!
Aaaah!! Damned nightmarish yellowy doom!!! *runs into wall, nose begins bleeding profusely* Damn you emoticon!!
(D)
*Carefully aims Anti-Emoticon Lazer* Don’t Move.
*don’t cross the ’stravens!*
1, 2, 3, 5
You left out the 2nd 3.
No, I just over-compensated.
Now let’s find us a bridge.
Feeling whistful, are we? These guys look like they’re building a new trump tower.
If they stack it too high, it’s gonna fold!
Burning down the full house of cards.
It’s definitely a flop, whatever it is.
A top kicker is going to ruin their day.
If they are using this for hunting, that is a BIG blind!
They’re Hunting Giraffe
LOL!
They’re going to need scoped rifles if they want to rabbit hunt.
.
You’re not getting the nut hand, SB.
Does he live in a van down by the river?
And he doesn’t have a boat.
But in the winter he can build a pair of snowmen.
Why does this remind me so much of Jenga?
I once dated Jenga, she made a real impression on me as well!
*still hurts*
Did she pull out pieces of your soul in a stragetic manner until you were a broken structure of a man? What a bitch.
Yes, she was a bitch, but damn she was sooo hot and so magical like you had to ignore it even as the pain of your soul being dragged through broken dreams made you bleed more love than all the world’s kittens could purr back into you by enternity’s end.
Hm. I can’t imagine who could do such a thing to a man. *is uh, not shifty*
*changes subject* So, you like Ents?
Just the thought of her makes me want to cross stack small wooden blocks and yell “JENGA!” (whilst wearing nothing but a cowboy hat, but you don’t need to know that).
Ok, I climbed to the top… now where is that basketball hoop I needed to jump into?
I don’t have a basketball hoop, but I found this shot glass. You’re going to need to tuck your chin a little more, though.
*dives*
*tastes Mookie’s liquor*
Your spirit does not contain alcohol but makes be to be high.
Yes, it goes straight to your head.
Yes, but the head is not the only part of my anatomy that goes high.
Si no dejas no voy a poder esperar… Por favor, dame un besito…
*besa*
*Mira ansiosamente el reloj*
*besa de nuevo*
*prueba8 Delicioso. No dejes.
wow
No, thanks, it really messes with my productivity.
As well as my reproductivity…
The fail here is putting the new Shamu training tower where there is no water. This sets Shamu and his family up for fail everytime.
Yes… manufactured fails are no fun at all.
Tom and PETA will be all over this.
Hehe. I just thought their Eiffel tower was a tad mismatched
*high-fives*
*roffle!*
It’s okay–Shamu and family jump into a moistened ShamWow.
For no other reason than “moist” is, in my opinion, a repulsive, unpleasant word, I will use this space to ask: are anyone else’s comments being eaten quite often tonight by the apparently ravenous blogmonster?
It’s odd you say that: “moist” comes up often in my house as being an unsalivary word, something that had never occurred to me. However, have only noticed incorrect nesting today – no abducted posts.
Hmm. Perhaps I should stop fucking swearing…
Curioser and curiouser!
um…NO U
Swearing is certainly established (culturally) as a (required) sin.
Cursing, however, is not.
The word “moist” did not subjectively qualify until recently (as either) whatsoever, lol!
There are entire websites dedicated to this word. Apparently thousands of people consider the word “moist” offensive. I, myself, think it is a lovely word.
This argues fruitfulness and liberal heart:
Hot, hot, and moist: this hand of yours requires
A sequester from liberty, fasting and prayer,
Much castigation, exercise devout;
For here’s a young and sweating devil here,
That commonly rebels. ‘Tis a good hand,
A frank one.
Say that upon the altar of her beauty
You sacrifice your tears, your sighs, your heart.
Write till your ink be dry, and with your tears
Moist it again, and frame some feeling line.
*gives the Admiral a glass of wine*
The juice of Egypt’s grape shall moist this lip.
*sips*
*with sharpened quill, returns to his writing*
…you yourself being extant well might show
How far a modern quill doth come too short,
Speaking of worth, what worth in you doth grow.
*roffle*
Ol’ Billy did NOT just call your quill “too short”!! :p
That may discover such integrity:
the unfortunate etymology of moist:
.
bless its musty mushroom heart
.
bless its heart
Um, oops, it seems to be getting doubly blessed
(it musty be barely 1700 and barely redressed).
Hm?
omfg.
you enhance my life.
… and black mold sucks.
Lost one…
Still looking
*puts lazer away, pulls out machete*
Nesting error or idiocy?
(not you, Avis)
*snert*
I think he was after Dilly’s emoticon.
If that’s what pleases, then good luck I suppose.
Realized possible misinterpretation only after I’d pulled the “trigger”; glad you didn’t catch it before the correction.
If I hadn’t been teasing him myself I might have misunderstood. But no wrries.
Um, oops, HAL seems to be having better luck than I.
I lost one this morning; ’twas in reply to “reminds me of Jenga” –
.
.
with a name clicky to the image
Wow, he’s high.
I think those guys are about to get spat out the top…
All’s well that ends well.
~ Helena Handbasket
The road to hell is paved with fool intentions.
Or with a strumpet’s boldness, a divulged shame
Traduced by odious ballads.
*picks self up and goes to look for socks again*
O Lord, sir!
Methinks in thee some blessed spirit doth speak.
Her powerful sound within organ in peak;
Thy life is dear; for all that life can rate
Worth name of life in thee hath estimate;
Youth, beauty, wisdom, courage, all
That happiness and prime can happy call:
So make the choice of thy own time, for I,
With resolved patience, on thee still rely.
I do presume, sir, that you are not fallen
From the report that goes upon your goodness;
An therefore, goaded with most sharp occasions,
Which lay nice manners by, I put you to
The use of your own virtues, for the which
I shall continue thankful.
Thou speak`st truly, as I love mine honour.
I like him well!
Now…can we get back to that whole “organ in peak” thing you mentioned up there^^^…?
I will then give it you soundly.
Hmm…surely Helena said “Woohoo!” somewhere in this play…!
*continues searching*
honestly and seriously, can anyone tell me what is going on here? I’m pressing my face up to the creen to see more detail, but i’m getting nothing…
screen! SCREEN!
I’d never press my face up against a Creen. Too dangerous.
They are building a spaceship to save a little boy abducted by aliens. Are you blind?
What? They are trying to rescue Jack! That mean giantess is holding him… somewhere…
Cool beans!
I thought it was the oil rig built after Uncle Jed found some bubbling crude.
No no no, the guys up there are astronauts, the spiky thing is the spaceship and the wooden thingy is the launch pad!
And one of them is handling a satellite.
Yes, this picture was taken on Cape Carnival.
they are building a ladder to heaven… f~ing Kenny still has those winning tickets….
Well they went the wrong way then. Kenny is off foiling Saddam’s plot to take over hell by making Satan a battered woman.
Good ‘un, Markov, though I think the kinfolk better move away from there.
These are Government Type Maintenance Workers! They are changing a light bulb! Can’t you tell? A typical team of 5 guys: 1 supervising from afar, 1 lazy guy doing nothing but watching, 2 in danger of killing themselves, and 1 ready to turn on the power as soon as the top guy touches the socket! (“Hee hee! I shocked ol’ Bill agin!”)
I only see four…
2 on the top of scaffolding
1 on small ladder
1 standing
1 sitting
=
5 total idiots
yeah what the hell is that?
*must be a joy-killer* They are trying to replace the bulb and cover on a high lamppost. The trouble is, the ladder they’re using seems to be compromised of several unsteady ladders, and moreover it’s based in a pickup truck. The fail is that it seems at any moment the ladders could come tumbling down.
Hee!
Please excuse my scoffold.
Wrector set?
Just deride it out, Admiral!
Oh, goodness. How did that “om” get in there? ‘Sneer enough that most people will get the word, anyways.
All my joy are belong to you.
*chooses to spare Marius’s joys* Fly! Be free!
What is going on with this picture? Am I the only one who can’t figure this out?
*sighs and points to her earlier comment* Read, please.
Come on, truck in neutral…
Come on, truck in neutral…
The second half of your sentence sounds like the punchline to a story I tell about the time my brother tried to change a tire on my car after drinking a fifth of Crown.
You just made me very homesick for Southern Humboldt.
Silly, Lolita was set in New England.
Intention had been to be set there.
Intention is as intention …
Wow, genius idea! Repair Fail!
A 5th of crown? He must have been pooping a diamond mine for a week.
Wow, that is scary dude. I mean really!
RT
http://www.anonweb.pro.tc
Yeah, the guy with the baby-blue shirt is really scary, even on 10 pixels.
thats what she said
To or about your face?
Hey Jason, your homepage isn’t funny.
You clicked on a link of a spam bot! LOOOL!
I did this one, in Banglore / India.
As it seems they repaired the streetlight.
enjoy it.
The haiku thread is up there ^
I like. That must have been awesome.
Where is a strong wind when you need one?
Eat more beans.
*sigh*
this isn’t a fail…. yet.
It’s an impending fail. Like the bike path that’s about 3 inches wide and on the edge of the ocean.
OK, my memory was wrong. It was a stream, not the ocean.
http://failblog.org/?s=bike+lane
That reminds me of the time I thought I died, but it was just a pimple! Huh.
Huh indeed. *checks face in the mirror*
Well the point was it was a bike lane along the edge of a body of water. Ocean, stream – either way, you get wet.
Dilettante shut up and kiss me,
Stop shakin’, stand up and hold me.
You’re crazy and it turns me on and on,
The either way you’re carryin’ on.
“Again and again and again
Do it again
Do it again”
Whoops. Fuzzy, there’s a rogue computer that seems into you…
♪ Turn your lights down low,
Open up your pod door … ♪
—-
pace Hank Ballard and the Midnighters
‘Tis not enough to help the feeble up, but to support him – when he will have no truck.
His estate deserves an heir more rais’d than one which holds a trencher.
Their talents on the present; in future, Fail.
“Hey Bubba, I saw these native folks on discovery channel do this funny thing with some stuff called bamboobs, I reckon if we got together some two by fours we could fix that thar busted light in the schoolyard.”
Seriously!!!! , SOMEONE PLEASEEE tell me what is going on here? i’m getting nothing…
OK, next time read every comment before whining—
These are Government Type Maintenance Workers! They are changing a light bulb! Can’t you tell? A typical team of 5 guys: 1 supervising from afar, 1 lazy guy doing nothing but watching, 2 in danger of killing themselves, and 1 ready to turn on the power as soon as the top guy touches the socket! (”Hee hee! I shocked ol’ Bill agin!”)
112 comments already? Damn, you guys. I want to be first
You’re a terrible ninja. Find a new career.
Good things come to those who wait.
Green is not the correct color for a Ninja. Use black, or white if outside in winter. *throws book on Ninja at GreenNinja*
Ninja, please.
Lol. What’s for breakfast?
gee Honey, you’re always first in my, ummm, bed. i wish you would last longer, but i know those 3 thrusts are the best you can manage since i’m so hot fine
Amber becomes attractive to small objects when rubbed.
I heard she has a dragonfly trapped in her…nevermind.
3 thrusts?!?! Damn, must be some kinda porn star or something.
Or really, really… eager.
“Most explosive 20 seconds of my life!”
well it was a major major major major accomplishment for you to make it last that long, next time you should really be inside the same room as i am, k?
Well…. that’s one way of cleaning up the gene pool…
POOL’S CLOSED
So …
How many fruedians does it take to change a lightbulb?
Two. One to change the light and the other to hold the penis…
LADDER!
I meant ladder!
How many psychiatrists does it take to change a lightbulb?
One, but the lightbulb has to want to change.
Yes, lightbulb, I believe we have made a vital breakthrough today.
Finally! These sessions are costing me a fortune!
How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
depends on whether it’s an orgy
Win.
this pic is not a fail, it is a win
i consider this to be an epic win of american ingenuity
American ingenuity? Not a one of them is wearin’ a T-shirt! I think this is from that there furrin country, Yewrupp. Even in the middle of Harvard yard you wouldn’t find no work crew wearing button-up shirts…
Again, this is WIN.
If the lampost later did not illuminate, then fail, but ingenuity = win,
even when ugly.
¡Viva la Duct Tape!
LOL that is mad!!! What the hell did those guys sat around predict might happen haha!
It was entirely calculated with entirely calculating foresight. You can’t tell?
Didn’t he thought about falling?
OSHA fail.
wow this is a creepy blog lol
This should have been titled “OSHA fail”
I dont know..these guys have probably been doing stunts like that for years.
If he survived that, it’s actually kinda like a win.