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first!
Premier!
segundo?
Tweehonderdvijfenveertigduizendtweehonderzesenzestigste (ongeveer)
verfolg de prestatjes van onze rode duiwels in de USA!
Who’s got the bukkit?
i haz teh bukkit!
U TOOK MAH BUKKIT!
Naw, yoo took mah bukkit, giv it bak or I’ll srrangle yoo!
Did you know that listening to sounds over 90 dB helps reduces your chances of spinal injury?
You mean listening to people screaming “Don’t go up that ladder!!!”? Yeah, makes sense.
…wins an internet.
Sorry But fail
1st?
Complete fail. Why bother? *Taze*
Yo. I wrote a question mark after it so that if I wasn’t first I wouldn’t look like a FAIL hence the ‘dammit!’ comment after. Don’t make me defend myself. Life. Get one.
I see some irony here…
Definitely.
*Irons the Irony* Hmm Indeed.
dammit!
Loz’s best secret is out!!
She no gonna likey this…
Póg mo thóin
Irish are the best
Where IS Loz? I haven’t seen her on here in ages!
I’m here! I’ve had uni finals so haven’t had much time for failblogging.
I’d forgotten the whole ‘loz is scottish’ malarky. Fantastic… just great… next fail please…
I thought of you as soon as I saw this on the voting page. And I thought it was “Loz is Welsh” malarky. Am I getting my malarky mixed up again? Hope you did well on the tests, btw.
Thanks RyRy
It started off being Welsh… then it morphed into Scottish I think.
Why can people not get it into their heads that I’m Polynesian?!
Your i’s are misleading.
OO! Polynesian!
*speaks to Loz in Urdu*
Polynesian, Huh? Who’d a thought that ever?
Poor Loz!
She forgets things in more than one language!
Scots are pretty good too
Huh. First?
Huh. Not even close.
Maybe when you learn to type faster than two words in four minutes.
I was too busy thinking of a clever name to use in this thread.
clever, you said ?
A double fail then?
don’t know hard to tell… maybe they’re from a Parallel Universe?
Double win then? I’m confused! Concentration fail for me!
It took you 4 minutes to come up with this?
Give him more Viagra, his dose it clearly too low.
But his dose of Viagra is already at LD!!
I’m not sure how icecream is going to help this situation…
Come inside! We have handmade typical products of FAIL!
Well, i consider that a bad marketing scheme. I dont approve….
Uh..When I’m talking about Ireland I say England.
And guess what’s Scotland for me…
It doesn’t matter. Scots, Irish, Welsh, they all drink too much and wear tartan. Thank God the English are here to keep them under control.
Yeah! We can outdrink all of those lightweights! They should learn to hold their liquor!
So I tell the swamp donkey to sock it before I give her a trunky in the tradesman’s entrance and have her lick me yarbles!
Wow. You guys are on a completely different level of swearing here.
Dude! You just made out with your sister!
You know America was founded by prudes. Prudes who left Europe because they hated all the kinky, steamy European sex that was going on. And now I, Cooper Harris, will return to the land of my perverted forefathers and claim my birthright.
*welcomes Cooper home with open legs*
Loz, you are such an unbelievable moron. Please go die in a car fire.
*burns Gravy*
*watches on in amusement*
I didn’t know gravy could curdle!
Check out the crispy layer on the top!
Ooh, gravy brulée! That’s a new recipe for Avis.
*Sweeps mess out the door* I love these polished floorboards
Get the ShamWow before B2F wakes up!
Gravy Brulee is an AWESOME idea! I’ll have it with my chips tonight (damn my northern taste for gravy!)!
Mmmh. Deepfried Gravy Brulee. Now were talking Scottish Cuisine.
Lump it!
Haha! I like his lovely lady lumps, though.
Loz…! How do you DO it?? You are still the very best at attracting trolls. I’m almost envious of your talent!
Uh oh,
*polishes armor*
*hands over the white satin*
It’s this new TurboTroll 5000. It basically attracts any troll within its range and before they know it, they’re goners!
OooOOOOOOOooo…! Spiffy! I see it goes to eleven.
Ass gravy.
um, the Irish don’t wear Tartan AT ALL and I don’t think the Welsh wear it, either.
Also, the English drink more than the Irish, Welsh and Scots put together. binge drinking is far more common.
.
Thank God there was someone to correct your mistakes!
Why the need to correct a silly comment on the interwebs? Clearly i don’t think they drink too much, I was just upholding a common misconception, to get a comedy rise out of them.
Also I would do a quick google for Irish and Welsh tartan.
will do..
oh, and,
i only felt the need to correct you bout the drinking cos I thought you were english. nd i’ll be damned before I let an English person correct me!!!! hahaha
Also, the English drink more than the Irish, Welsh and Scots put together.
Of course they do, there are more of them.
Nah it’s a steady flow. We are so continuously drunk that we need DRINK to keep us sane. Where as typically, the english like to make a fuss about things and “binge” drink. So it would seem they drink more, but in actual fact, it’s a cry for attention.
But you drink ugly things like warm beer. *vomits*
Have you ever visited? It’s soooo cold… and wet… i’m leaving *grabs coat*
So that’s the reason for all the warm beer?
I don’t know of anywhere here that serves warm beer…
Are you located in the UK?
Then maybe the rumors about it are not that true.
I have been to England once but didn’t drink any alcohol, so I don’t have any empirical values about beer in the UK.
cos everyone was in the pub.
So if u ddnt see alchohol, how do you know we drink warm beer? everything is… extra cold.
on second thoughts… come again?
Yeah, I’m in the UK. All of our draught beers are chilled as far as I can tell.
I haven’t had beer in England though, maybe it’s different.
The only time the beer’s warm is at opening time when the beer’s been stuck in the pipes rather than in the chiller. That’s why the first pint out is all frothy. After that it’s back to it’s chilled best. I think I’ll have one now!
*Pours pint*
yer maybe those english binge drinkers like it warm?
Ale should definately not be chilled – it screws up the flavour.
Lager is chilled (which is what you ‘merkins call ‘beer’, even
though it resembles cats urine). Typically it’s only drunk
by teenagers though.
There are Welsh tartans for the old family names but it’s by no means as big a part of the culture. Most people don’t even know about it.
As for the drinking thing… I think it’s safe to say that Britain as a whole has a lot of drinkers.
You keep telling yourself that.
I knew I’d find someone being racist. Do you think me and all other scots that read that will respect you? Honestly?
When I’m talking about James freacking Dean I say Fail. And guess what ignorance is for me…
Also fail?
No, a warm puppy.
Ah, cool. At least if it’s warm it’s still alive!
umm…South Africa?
And, such as, the Iraq.
*gives Loz a map and a tiara*
It’s the new Sperm Donor disclosure laws (damn GFC!)
Comment the correct Fail-fail??
It might be Shiraz poisoning.
Hello, you
Ackshully, a friend inspired me to get on the wagon.
Hey, our avatars go well together!
*links arms* Bottoms-up babe!
To her, “bottoms-up” has a completely different meaning. I hope you brought your protection for your carnal treasure.
It’s on the correct Fail…just look at the picture again.
There Seems To Be An Over Enthusiasm To Start All of The Words With a Capital Letter On The Second Line.
No, no, no. You misunderstood.
.
Mr A. Little Bit is the Irish performer tonight!
Alan? I’ve seen him perform in shoppes before.
I thought it stood for Analmea.
Mea is latin and means “mine”
So im translating “Analmea” to “My ass”.
Is that correct?
DON’T YOU DARE SAY NO
Mr. My-Ass Little Bit? Poor guy…
Yes, Latin with an English pun.
That’s it. I need a glass of vino. Loz? I have this lovely Wolf Blass, if you’d care for a glass? *offers the shiraz*
Don’t do it, man!
Even better, I have bottles of free Wolf Blass as my significant other knows the Blass family! *shares around*
God. Mooks, distract me…quick!
No, no, Dr, over here! *sexy dances with wine bottle*
*drinks from the cup*
Oh what a waste! *drinks from the bottle*
Not first!
Ireland-Scotland … Scotland-Ireland … Both have awful accent.
You Portuguese are all the same.
of course the people with the worst accent are from newcastle.
Wonder what they actually sell here…
Oddly enough, African Tribal art. Who’d have guessed?
James freacking Dean, methinks.
Fresh sperm and wunder boners?
And don’t forget Popsy!
You all left out that they’ll be importing some fresh California Pine-Wizz…
When the wind blows your kilt up, I can see your potato.
and a little bit of ireland, too…
Bow down and I’ll blow up your shoppe.
Oh, you can see past my Leprechaun?
I thought Leprechauns were supposed to be small?
I’m getting visuals here that may scar me for life.
Stay downwind from anyone in a kilt and you will be fine.
Yep, and don’t look like a rainbow with a treasure pot at the end.
**If I recall correctly**, the Irish were once known as the ‘Scots’ and the Scottish were known as the ‘Picts’…
So one could assume that the shoppe is referring to Ireland’s “Scots” scottish heritage… Perhaps there’s a Pictish Shoppe in Scotland?
You recall completely incorrectly.
Ofcourse, he obviously is reffering to the “Celts”.
No, the Gaels.
Actually, GalileoAce recalls incompletely correctly, so you FAIL.
Who gives a shit tho? They’re all bloody furriners.
the wogs start at Calais…
The inhabitants of Scotland before the Irish kingdom of Dál Riata moved in are known as the ‘Picts’, though their exact ethnicity is debated. The early medieval term for the inhabitants of modern-day Ireland was Scotti, hence people like John Scottus, “John the Irishman”. The reason for the confusion is when the Irish (more specifically the Ulster Irish) moved into what is now Scotland en masse, people called it “the land of the Irish” – Scotland.
And for an extra-nerdy cherry on top – the language spoken until around 900 in Scotland, Ireland, and Isle of Man was Early/Old Irish/Gaelic. Nowadays it has split into Irish, Scotch-Gaelic, Manx, and a bunch of regional dialects, but all those modern languages can be termed “Gaelic” in character.
(From “yer wan” with a Cert in Irish Studies from University College Cork)
That might benefit the British…
No, we welsh scrounge 16% income and give back 5%!
I don’t get it. You mean, they’re not American?
Maybe they are some American islands, just like Hawaii.
Yeah, or Spain.
I assumed Spain was more like an American county.
Let’s colonize.
Do you mean potatoes or are you thinking of something else?
I think it’s your turn to pick the fantasy.
The last time you let him pick the fantasy, Armageddon ensued pretty quicly. Do you think it wise to leave it up to him?
Wise and ardent do not rhyme.
*whispers at Mookie’s ear*
You may put that cushion below your knees to be more comfortable. I don’t intend to make it short.
*suspira* ¿3:00 pm todavía?
La espera lo hará mas interesante.
Y cuando digo interesante quiero decir ardiente.
Jeebus, who needs a Messican novela when we have Mookie and Lou on failblog?
Sometimes they get me as hard as Chinese algabra.
Me too and I don’t understand a word they are saying! Wait what?
sort of like original dutch cheese made in germany…
or german cars made in the U.S.
maybe it’s just us in the uk
Are there such things?
Or even American cars made in China…
Wait, maybe it’s supposed to mean “‘Contains’ a little bit of Ireland”.
Who knows?
or maybe it´s for customers being children of irish and scottish parents.
I fit that criteria. The rest of you, begone!!!
Skøl!
Uh, I call fail on all of you. It’s a shop that sells scottish goods and some irish goods.
So there’s your first lesson in Scottish/Irish humour.
I agree!
maybe they mean “the Scottish shoppe, with a little bit of Ireland, also”
No, the Irish are always trying to copy Scotland. First the kilts, now they’re stealing shop names. Next thing you know, they’ll be replacing St. Patrick’s Day with William Wallis Day.
They better not! Otherwise we won’t have an excuse to wear green and get blind drunk!
Then come to Ireland; ‘where you don’t need an excuse’.
I might just do that! Quick flight from Luton and I’m there!
By the time this is actually posted I’ll already be downing a pint of Guinness in a cheery local pub!
God I hope not! If they do I won’t have an excuse to wear green and get blind drunk!
Damn work computers freezing on me!
FAIL Markov
The Gaels brough kilts and bagpipes from Ireland a long time ago.
Scotland’s saint is St. Andrew so it would be St. Andrew’s day not William “Wallace” day.
The Scottish Shoppe – A little bit of Ireland: For all your Icelandic needs!
That’s why mums go to Iceland.
do do do do do
Kerry Katona needs a slap.
I don’t want to go to Iceland now that it’s associated with chavvy whore mums.
There once was a man from some station
who was prone to pursue masterbation
He went to the land where the scottish would stand
But he found he was in wrong nation?
you accidenty the “the”
Also you didn’t quite master the bation.
Let’s call the Jerking Authority!
Deputy Mehoff at your service, but you can call me Jack…
G’day mate!
*blank look*
Yeah, I got noth’n.
*goes back to drinking his Baileys*
*joins B2th*
Haven’t got in to see the dentist yet, and I have an impacted wisdom tooth. I’m drunker than a skunk right now from home “remedies”, and it’s not even 10 a.m. here yet. But Im typing surprisingly well regardless!
I know what you mean. I drive better drunk. Really. Now where are my keys?
Where have I seen this store before…
“Look at the bloody map. Here’s Scotland. Here’s Ireland. NOW GET OUT!
If it’s not Scottish, IT’S CRAP!!”
You didn’t inject enough r’s in your crrrrrrap. Some Scot you are, no burr and all.
Don’t you mean “If it is Scottish, It’s crap”
“Its crap being Scottsh, we’re the arsehole of the world” – Trainspotting
Scotland is the arsehole of the world.
France are the pu**ies of the world.
England lies between them.
Therefore England is the taint of the world.
If it’s like a lot of similar shops I’ve seen, The Scottish Shoppe is the main store, and A Little Bit of Ireland is their Irish corner, which would make it a Context FAIL for the poster.
Funny seeing this photo while living in Northern Ireland… I guess half of its population would not see the fail, and the other half would start throwing rocks at it.
A fellow Norn Ironer!
Agreed, the IRA would probably try to blow it up.
Well, I’m just a wee foreigner in Norn Iron, but, Hiya.
Even better! Whatcha doin’ here?
Workin’ at the wee university and enjoying it. Funny city, Belfast
Queen’s? That’s where I’m at
Funny in what way? It’s lovable once you get past the bigotry.
Seems you’ve mastered our art of using ‘wee’ in every sentence!
You’re at Queen’s as well? Then we’d better get back to work or the VC will kick us out. Funny as in interesting (after having lived in other countries such as Ireland, Mexico, Sweden, Norway, Holland). Cheers
Yeah, I graduate in a few months though so there’s no real worry about getting kicked out. Only worries about failure…
Belfast’s quirky, I’ll give you that much. I’d much rather live in Sweden though!
Where are you from originally?
King Billy’s wee country, you? Good luck with the graduation,
and now, back to work!
Irish haggis? Yum!
Haggis is a Viking. I read the cartoon, I know.
Haggis is a Dog! I read the instructions, I know!
Haggis? What’s that? It sounds offal.
If you take it slowly, you might be able to stomach it though.
I have a feeling the Scots and the Irish are a little irritated at this.
Not the rational ones.
Yeah, but, aside from you…
Scots and Irish we are one, we’re Celts, we’re Celts we will fight on
5 points clear towards #4 tah-boot!
I’m pretty sure this store is in Calgary. They sell mostly Scottish things but they also have a small selection of Irish stuff. I’ve never been inside but the sign isn’t exactly fail, since the store sells things from both countries, just more things from Scotland.
Yeah, this is in Calgary. It is on 17 Ave and ~11 St SW
There is also one in Edmonton as well, it’s a small family chain. And, yes, its actually two stores being advertised on a single sign.
I thought that the moment I saw it… I remember walking by here. Never been in though.
See my comment above…or don’t. It’s Friday now, and it’s really hard to care about anything. Happy Weekend, People!
LOL, thats gotta be the funniest thing Ive ever seen!
RT
http://www.anonweb.pro.tc
Failblog newbie!
The Scottish and Irish are equally FAILtastic.
Still, well LOL.
More examples of English imperialism. The English are not happy unless they are treading down on the Celtic peoples — lumping them together, or disregarding any national identity.
REMEMBER BOBBY SANDS!
Okay, here we go. Bash the English time…
Why don’t you people make a line!
Are you from Norn Iron too?
♪ ‘Do ya want a pastie supper, bobby sands? …’ I won’t finish that
(I don’t take sides in the fighting.)
I’m deeply offended by this pic…..LOL
YOU IDIOTS?
WHAT FALE HERE I CANT SE?????
NO REALLY CUZ SCOTTS COUNTRY IS IRELAND..
I AM FROM EUROPE AND I KNOW THIS SHIT..
I BEEN THERE LIKE 10 TIMES….
This is soooooooo not a fail
I know this place. It’s in Calgary, Canada. Unfortunately, it’s not as FAIL as it looks like, it’s two shops, one Scottish and one Irish that now share a storefront.
I did have a FAIL doubletake when I saw it in person the first time, though.
Same here! I looked at it and I thought, “WTF?” It just never occurred to me to put it on FAILBlog.
I’m also shocked to see how many fellow Calgarians are reading FAILBlog. Woot!
As a note, Calgary is a good, Scotland-derived name. This area was partly settled by Ulster Scots. So . . . Scotland and Ireland together? It can work.
It is funny, and it does look like a fail initially. “Scott’s Country” eh? Well, thanks for visiting 10 times, I live here and I’ve never heard of this Scott’s Country. Scotland on the other hand, that’s above England. Scotland and Ireland aren’t even on the same landmass.
Perhaps they have an aisle of the Isle?
makes me glad to be part Scoth-Irish…
Cheers.
lol-they even spelt shop wrong
You succeed at proving your name correct.
my name is a misnomer. im not really stupid
Not really sure that this is a fail… Usually Irish shops and Scottish shops have both Irish and Scottish stuff in them, since the two DO share a lot of culture, much as they hate to admit it.
I may be wrong, but I think this is saying, “Scottish shop, with a bit of Irish stuff as well,” as opposed to, “Scottish stuff from Ireland!” But it’s funny nonetheless. ;P
All this could be solved with the word “and” starting the second line.
The aboriginal Scots, the Picts, were gradually displaced by Northern Irish immigration to Scotland from the 4th to 11th century. Scotland and Ireland spoke the a mutually intelligible language until ~15th century. The Orcadians of the Island of Orkney are the aboriginal Scots, they are a mixture of Picts and Scandinavian Vikings. The So, yea the sign is wrong, there is allot of Irish in Scotland.
I live next door to that shop it`s on 17th ave,SW Calgary Alberta,Canada (for total dorks) just of 10th (or9th). But it`s not a fail it`s two shops with the same store front.
I anyway thought of posting it on FB but now I see it would be a waste of time.
technically the word Scot, from which ‘Scotland’ and ‘Scottish’ come from is Latin for Irish or pertaining to Ireland….so in fact the sign is completely true, so no fail!
‘technically FAIL’
Actually, the Romans referred to Ireland as Hibernia. The Scoti was the Gælic tribe that went over to Scotland from Northern Ireland, giving their name to the country…but the sign is still not a FAIL.
Not actually a Fail, since the Scoti is a tribe from ireland which went to scotland and is named after
Umm…see my entry immediately above.
ive been there man the managers retarted its in calgary
That’s here in our city! Omg