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FIRST!!!!1
second
Nice work miiike!
This is a WIN for blondes…
And a fail for everyone else on the planet?
yes yes
looks like sales weren’t spurring when it was ” 500 ” whatever.
That’s the price per kilogram.
Oh, yah – this is from Norway. And, yes, sperm means exactly the same in Norwegian.
That’s why this really suprise me… WTF?
im surprised a pack of gum is 10 bucks:P
It’s not 10 bucks, it’s 10 Norwegian Kroner.
It’s about a dollar.
why do they weigh gum by the kilogram?? are you sure??
So that you can compare the price of 20g of one kind of gum to 30g of another kind (you can see which gives you the most gum for the money). And in case you haven’t understood, “sperm” is supposed to be an abbreviation of “spearmint”.
Blondes and all another women o/
Ich liebe es wenn dein Mund nach Sperma schmeckt.
I’m sorry, what?
He said: “I love it when your mouth tastes of sperm”
aah, the germans…;p
ahh, ze germans…;p
All I got from that was Sperma. I think I know how that translates…
It says “I love the smell of fresh sperm in the morning”. Tom is gay and currently raising two kids (Fred and Dana) with his life partner Brad. They live in Encino, California in a 3/2 ranch style home. One of their cars is a hybrid and the other is a sporty little SmartCar that gets great gas mileage. They have a dog named Stanton and a cat name Meow Tse Tongue. They are looking to adopt an Asian child but BFF won’t allow it.
oh… I knew that.
Wow……all that from that one little sentence. Very nice! Oh ya the sperm is freshly squeezed
ROFFLE
oh, it’s good to be back
Nice to see you back, Loz. Hey, you missed BFF’s 15th birthday yesterday.
Awwww really?! Damn! Our wee boy’s growing up so fast. *wipes tear*
Aw, Loz…hey, I know how to cheer you up.
…TSETSECLES!
Watch out! One of those bit me once and I was sick for nine months.
Me too! Twice! Didn’t learn the first time. Now I’m left with two life long growths.
LOL!
Any time I think of that I actually laugh so hard.
The worst part is, I had to mention the Tsetse fly in an exam on Tuesday.
Glad I could help.
*grin*
You made up fresh and in the morning.
Im sorry, but I have to say, that you, ryannon, are a terrible liar!
Shame on you.
The rest, of course is correct I think, I would have expected from Tom to raise kids called Fred and Dana.
But why do they want to adopt an Asian child when they already have a cat with an asian sounding name?
Alright fine, I don’t speak German but based on the way Tom is, I am sure he doesn’t speak German either and just made all that up so I translated it to what I know he says quite frequently. The rest, I have ascertained through various posts of his on here, as well as his two troll children Dana and Fred. The Asian child thing, it’s because having an Asian sounding cat just didn’t fill their desires as much as they thought.
So…when did they noticed this cat was not meeting their expectations?
It has to be a long time ago because otherwise he wouldn’t have been able to get his favourite sentence translated into fluent german.
(By the way, why does everybody suddenly talk german in here?)
Hey Tom, what does….hm…lets take some random sentence….yes! what does “I love the smell of fresh sperm in the morning” mean in swahili?
I don’t talk German in here. Hell, I don’t talk at all in here, I type. But be that as it may, I don’t claim to type German either. English, Spanish and a bit of French/Italian is all I claim. I can’t be bothered translating to other languages.
I said everybody.
IMHO, you are not everybody, but a not german-typing individualist.
But you surely have noticed the large amount of german typing fellows popping up from nowhere in the last few days…
You are correct, I am not everybody. But if you say everybody, that includes me. Had you said “a lot of people” or “quite a few people” or even “everyone but Ryannon” I would not have responded.
And I don’t know if people are suddenly typing in German or not, I don’t speak German so I don’t recognize the difference between German and Danish and Dutch and Canadian.
F*ckin’ Eh, that was a good lol.
Don’t they speak hoser in Canada?
Oh and one last thing, don’t call me Shirley.
Rayannon I had always wondered why you never understood me, I guess I’d better learn how to translate my Canadian to American
I got a book to translate it but it all looks Greek to me.
*gibt Ryannon ein Plätzchen*
Thank you for the cookie
btw ryannon, that was a lie again, i do speak geramn, and if you translated it to what i say quite frequently you’d have translated: “FIRST! Support PETA! Muahahaha, you faiiil!”
I do indeed want to adopt an asian child, in fact i want a mononesian child, coz polynesians are too complicate!
So LID’s name is Stanton?
Not that there’s anything wrong with that
Hell yeah there is!
(quote from a friend, nobody shoot me!)
first loser
Wow, that’s really fresh! And quick!
you’re a douche!
Scare a mouche!
Do the fandango!
Thunder and lightning very very frightning!
Gallileo
Gallileo Gallileo (Keep on spamming here!)
galileo figuero…beelzelbub has a devil set aside for me…
Forr meee… for MEEE!!!(Solo)
but it is extra fresh
no you fail it’s FRIST!
looks like sales weren’t spurring when it costed ” 500 “
No, that’s the price for a whole kilogram.
Yummy =/
Oh, great, I hate it when sperm is sold all old and sticky, or all frozen. Frozen doesn’t equal fresh, people!
Ick! Even reconstituted sperm isn’t up to scratch! Gahth, ptoohey! Go fresh, or go home.
I have a fresh one right here. Heheh.
Just one? Wow. So that’s why it only takes you 8 seconds.
Umm…DrB…I’m somewhat curious as to how you know what sperm tastes like in the first place…?
*cracks open closet door, peers inside*
He’s either incredibly flexible, or incredibly well-endowed.
SOLD!
You gotta look deep in the closet k-k-k-katy. He is so far in the closet he speaks to Aslan on a regular basis.
is that like having more issues than TV Guide?
and subscribes to all of them
Get out of the closet.
second!!!
Second post fail.
Now thats an offer hard to resist
3rd!
Tasty
TTT-Tasty Tasty!
1
2
3
4
5
something-th!
^ a thtupid nothing
$10 for a pack of gum?! outrageous!
oh yeah …
$10 for a pack of sperm!? outrageous!
it’s not dollars, it’s norwegian kroners
It’s not dollars, it’s shrunken heads
It’s not shrunken heads, it’s Wrigglers
It’s not Wrigglers heads, it’s Licks.
its not licks its penises
WHAT!
I demand my name back. Now.
WHAT should be followed by a question mark (?)
It was not a question.
I believe katy was referring to a previous fail.
WHAT! Embryos are people too!
Every egg’s dream!
Speaking of…where is Egg? I wonder if he is still in NYC. He was going there for New Years Eve/Day.
He’s back, but apparently working too much. Why don’t you use some of your ’special’ enticements on him, eh, Ry?
If you were on messenger, I would tell you why.
Try me.
I will get your email address from creepy creeperton and email you.
WHAT!
Oooohh, someone has an admirer. Or a stalker. I always get them confused.
Better her than you, na’mean? You know what it feels like. Let the love blossom between them. One man’s love is another man’s obsession. They will either meet and fall madly in love or they will meet and we will never find katy’s body again. But I know where we can start looking if she suddenly disappears.
I think you’re barking up the wrong tree.
Okay tree, perhaps?
Err Oak. D’oh.
It’s $10 for a pack of cum, which isn’t that expensive.
This is the double I am paid for. Damn intermediaries!
Yeah. The damned middleman gets all the sugar!
What do you normally pay for a pack of cum?
I give myself a hand in making it…
Given todays value on currencies it’s about 1.3 dollars for a pack of gum.
is 10 kr, not $.
7 kr ~ $1
Norwegian kroner!! yerk
Tasty, but not hard to find.
Being, SPEaRMint ?
ya, it’s a fake, you can see the “int” is wiped off…
I agree, its a fail fake.
It’s not fake. That store normally abbreviates long names.
which doesnt explain where the A in speArmint would have gone.
typo.
12th
428909238423234092384th. Did I get your approval yet?
*pulls out lazer pistol from hidden pocket* No.
Not $10. 10NOK that’s about $1.3.
It’s very clever really. It’s to make sure you don’t swallow it. Or that you do…What do I know?
Oh sorry, I just noticed, it’s for professionals. I guess you have to put some on your face then.
You got it wrong, it is from professionals, and extra white. So product may be fake (in this case you can use it when you run out of yogurt in your fridge)
Great for pimples, I hear.
Prevents HELLP syndrome (when swallowed)!
Prevents GAG syndrome (with practice)!
Prevents wrinkles syndrome (when spread)!
Hey, I own half that company, remember.
Oil of Oh oh oh oh OH OH OHHHH GOD OH GOD OHGODOHGODOHGOD lay?
Neutro-genes-a.
Kerry’s lotion?
Just let me know the incentive plan details and I will adjust the production accordingly.
I have some stock options that I’d like to cash in.
The moment is right, the offer is rising.
I don’t know about you, but i prefer my sperm fresh from the store!
And only $1.3, man we got to get in on this!
If you examine closely, you can see it has Ryannon’s name on it. Or Mookie’s. It’s hard to tell.
WHAT HAVE I DONE? How do you erase a post?
EPIK FISSION MAILED!
Oh, I get it! You want to take out “It’s hard to tell”…!
Actually he wants to take out the “examine closely”, and add “after you taste gluttonously”.
Guys, guys! You’re not helping! Providing me with a fake ID and a refuge, THAT would be helping.
If you fake it in the gals’ refuges, then you’ll be in even deeper shit czuhc!
Like “Okay, Mr. Anderson, due to our witness protection, your name is not Anderson anymore. Your new name is Andersen, please remember it well.”
I may send you a Vicar disguise and the phone number for a good Identity Theft service. Hope this helps.
Wait a minute. I was peacefully sleeping, not even dreaming naughty dreams and I still get tagged on here with the smut?
And only 10NOK!! … That’s a bargain!
double your pleasure, double your cum
Bubblecum?
That’s a talent I’d love to see.
You’re always trying to burst someone’s bubble.
Juicy fruit-of-your-loins
First… to give it a rating.
(I gave it 4. If this were Engrish Funny, where it probably belongs, then it gets 5.)
errr… maybe not. it still says it’s Unrated even after I refreshed. o.O
Firsters always manage to find new ways to fail. It is in their genes.
…and their jeans.
… and their creams
…and their streams
.. and in their failed dreams
…so kick them for screams.
Patience, my child…
It’s not Engrish fail, it’s abbreviation fail, or possibly tag-printer-can’t-do-more-than-17-characters-Fail.
…or possibly it’s some Extra Fresh Sperm.
20 grams. What cum/packet ratio would you think they use in the supply chain?
You refreshed the sperm?
At least it’s not fermented and crusty…
I double that!
“Aged in oak barrels” is how marketers refer to fermented and crusty…
This is a cheap way of getting DNA for those who want to add diversity to their gene pools.
Not at cheap as the free DNA Ryannon gets at her bukkake parties.
Cheap being the DNA or the recipient?
AHEM!
Something stuck in your throat?
You need to see if you are missing a diaphragm. I coughed one up just a few minutes ago and I am not sure where it came from.
That’s why I said “recipient”. I assumed you were the host.
Nine out of ten ladies still prefer Anpu’s sperm to store-bought sperm. We really should ask the tenth.
And it’s no surprise that Lincoln’s sperm is still fresh and fertile after all these years.
This is why I buy Stride
Did you know that sperm contains sugar? So why doesn’t it have a sweet taste??
Clearly, you’ve been blowing the wrong guys.
I don’t see the connection between what I said and what you implied.
The fact you know that sperm isn’t normally sweet? Oh and for the record, if you date a guy that eats really healthy, eats lots of fruit and avoids asparagus, the taste is tolerable. At least that’s what Mookie said.
Nah, I heard she spits.
She is an attorney. She does save it for cases later when she needs a little hlep from the DNA.
But Mookie told me my asparagus-free strawberries-rich diet she recommend me was to loose weight!
If you want to loose some weight so badly just lower your belt to the next notch!
Don’t forget those special “exercises” I taught you.
How to forget about that!!
But somehow I am having trouble training properly when you are not here.
Webcam, 3 pm my time.
Roger!
Roger this. *points*
What on earth has happened, Mookie? I leave for a few weeks and you become sexually crazed! Did you just miss me too much?
I did.
Oh my word.
Per my fiancee, Ryannon’s correct to avoid eating asparagus, plus brussel sprouts, alcohol, and caffeine. Regularly eating pineapple will make it sweeter. Now excuse me while I go scrub that knowledge from my brain.
Guys should know this stuff. If you guys would take the time and effort, more women might be open to puffing the old peter pipe without jewelry bribes being required. I dated a smoker and didn’t know he was a smoker until then. Breath mints can only do so much but the pipe can give you all the answers.
“the pipe can give you all the answers.”
Do you attend the Church of Bob?
You know I never really noticed the smoking made a diff-
*This comment has been abbreviated to protect the reputation
of its author*
Hmm… The prices for quality sperm dropped significantly over the last few years.
*barfs*
^ New Extra flavor next week!
Limited time only!
this looks like its from a norwegian store called REMA 1000.
yeah, it must be..
It’s supposed to say Spear, as in spearmint. Norwegians are so funny when they talk!
I’m surprised, so many oblivious americans that believe there’s no other currency than the USD (That’s the Untied States Dollar, for americans)
Yes, and you spelled “Christopher” wrong.
He spelled Crystal Ball wrong.
He had to in order to avoid the copyright issues. Crystal Ball is the headline stripper at Club Jiggly’s on Route 9.
First of all, my name is spelled Christoffer, I’m a Norwegian, second, Christoball is my handle, it’ve been that for several years.
What’s a Norwegian second?
Is that like the Norwegian Blue?
I keep my dollars nice and bound, thankyouverymuch.
Not bound tight enough, according to Crystal-balls!
I can’t believe that women are still subjected to dollar binding in this day and age! Rise up, sister!
so it has more zink than usual? oh! i get it! it stains your teeth, so when you look under a black light, thats how you tell you’re doing it right.
You spelled “selenium” wrong.
He has periodic memory lapses.
It’s elementary.
Yeah, but it is about time we got it on the table.
Wow, that is fresh – it’s still moaning.
Omfg.lololololol
Photoshop FAIL.
I see wat u did thar.
“Wrigley’s”
“Jiggley’s”
“Bo Biggley’s”
“Shan tiggley’s”
of course it is a a phototshop fail! easy to see that the termination is erased, pathetic! “int” is erased. but please, tell me if the word “spermint” is correct in that language, and give me please the REAL reason for which you put this photo on the site. just for traffic? why? there are not enough real fail in the world so you need to accept fakes? i am sorry for you, people..
Because someone has to play RDJ. “What do you mean, ‘you people’?”
What do ‘you’ mean, ‘you people’?
As a matter of fact, the fail rate is going down in the world. We have a new leader in the US that broke through the color barrier. We have cats and dogs living harmoniously on one website. We have Mookie saying please and thank you after a domination session. The world is a kinder, gentler place which equates to less fail. So we must create our own.
And unless you enjoy the taste of general, every day, garden variety sperm, putting the int back into spermint just means it is minty fresh sperm, still very funny and can be considered a fail for some, but a win for Mookie.
*rinses, spits* Aaaahh. Minty fresh.
In norwegian spearmint is “Grønnmynte” but that doesn’t sound like something one would like bubble gum to taste like, so it’s markeded in english. Which makes Spearmint the correct spelling. So turning this into sperm must be a FAIL. I now feel the need to check the label at my local store.
Try new Skeet Skeet Skeet-flavored Extra! It’s great for blowing bubbles!
Isn’t Bubbles the big black guy in for a double murder in Cell Block D?
Block F
That’s Mr. Bubbles to you.
“They call me MISTER Bubbles!”
A proud day for African Americans everywhere.
I’m gonna go into the shrimping buisness.
and I’ve been throwing mine away all these years…I could have been a millionaire by now
You can always make more.
The photo is manipulated. It’s visible with the eyes, and if you compare the overall camara noise with the area after “SPERM” it’s obvious.
Dude, you need a hobby. And for the record, I work in the grocery industry and stores generally do NOT center their advertisements on signs. They leave that gap there so the price doesn’t get lost among the jumble of words.
Indeed, but honestly, isn’t Trojan missing out on a huge marketing opportunity here?
Memo to Marketing
Now that the Extra Fresh Sperm Gum that whitens your teeth like a professional has proven such a sucksess, we are releasing more varieties in the same line.
.
Jizzy Fruit
Dicktyne
Blackberry Flavored BubbleCum
.
We welcome suggestions for more flavors but please give us time to develop the right flavor to longevity ratio.
Big Red Menace
Blackjack Off
Doublemint Penetration
But life is not about butthole pleasures and rusty trombone and dirty sanchez.
How about …
.
“Oh, goddamnit, name fail” (a.k.a., “Gumby”)
*looks for gum aisle
<__>
*masturbates
price fail
So thats how it whitens teeth. But wheres the fail? OH! $10 for gum!?
Like said before.. its in Norwegian currency.. so its rather 1,1dollar…
That seems like a pretty high price for sperm. I thought we were supposed to be in a recession?
Keep in mind it looks like its 20GR, which I translate to be 20g of fresh, sweet sperm!
Photoshop fail? I think so.
I wonder how many employees they have.
WTF???
Did someone make that sign on purpose, for was it supposed to say something else and they didn’t catch the mistake?
To me, it looks like it said “Extra fresh spermint” and the “int” was photoshopped out. Who knows, maybe not.
[sorry if someone already mentioned this]
I think this photo has been made as you can see that the full word is “spermint” which is just a little typo. But the poster made this photo by erased “int” to make it look funny. Come on! post some thing real!!!!
l2use photoshop -.- u fail xd
“Photoshop fail? I think so.”
Nah, probably more like assistant managers having fun late at night.
Um. . . look closely at the right side of the word sperm. . .you can see the stamp marks
from photoshop. Nice fake.
that look’s like a Rema 1000 shoppe. Norwegian? hmm. probably not fake. (spearmint, spermint?)
anyway,a fellow norwegian here who can tell if it’s rema 1000??
(haha jah det må være norsk, for det står Nidar der under, LOL!!)
it’s norwegian..!!
Yup, It’s Rema 1000. The shop is a FAIL Itself
ttl norwegian i lived there for 3 months i wouldn’t forget a rema 1000 tag.
most of there employees do suck at english.
Lol totally fake, its from norway and why would we use english on our pricings.
fail failed.
Its not english printing. The gum is called Extra, and the taste is fresh spearmint
Fake? No its not. How old are you? Have you ever been to the supermarket? The name of the gum is Extra Fresh Spearmint. We dont translate that into Ekstra Frisk Peppemynte….a name is a name…
So no, it’s not fake! Seen it myself several places.
Man, I just went to the store, they were all sold out.
Well.. Maybe some people might like that.. tingly flavor..
It’s no fake. Just some Rema 1000 store assistant forgetting the ‘a’ in spearmint. 500,00 is the price per kilo. Every store in Norway must write the cost of all goods in some standard unit, to make it easier for customers to compare the price. For liquids it’s litre, for solids it’s kilo, for toilet paper it’s meters.
…And for sex?
joules.
Hey, is this pic taken in Sweden?
ja det der det seff! – yes it is!
and fyi its not fake i have seen it lolz
No, it’s to taken in Sweeden, it’s taken at a Rema 1000 store in Norway…
I love how it says “teeth whitening”
HVORFOR LEGGER DU UT MITT BILDÈ? Å TAR MIN KREDD:……………
JEG TOK JO FAEN DET PÅ REMA 1000 når jeg gikkMEKKEN PÅ GLEMMEN!!!!!!!!!!
Hun tok vel ikke akkurat kredden din? Det står jo bare “Submitted by Kristina K”…
Men kult bilde!
um wow.. thats how girls always have white teeth…
Forged…
Fail
now we know why it whitens your teeth
Is there any other way to have you daily dose of sperm?
How can ANYONE not see that this is photoshopped? the area to the right of the ‘M’ is obviously patched. It probably said ’spearm’ .. short for spearmint.. and they took out the a.
Orders filled while you wait…
looks photoshopped :E
HOLY CRAP! 10.00!!
Yes… because the entire world use dollars.
Ignorant americans…. =/
I think this is from Rema 1000. In Norway. xD
10.00 = 2 dollars.
thip pic reminds me, when I worked in supermarket and on bills was written “spermint” instead of “spearmint”
its real, i’ve seen it myself(not at rema1000 but at COOP OBS)
great post(why i keep getting an error when i try to subscribe to your feed)?thanks
300TH COMMENT!!!!!!! THIS IS SPARTA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I was chewing that gum while watching it.