Submitted by Dan and Tiffany D
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be prepared
Boo, that’s the BOY scouts
out of no where a stream of catholic priest swarm in as far as the eye can see
The Girl Scouts have reached a new Low.
Try our Thin Mint Brothel, er I mean Blizzard.
In Soviet Russia Girl Scouts treat YOU!
They’re not treating you here?
this is a fail because of the fact because it was previously on failblog. other than that it is a win
what?
They’re not treating you here?
Double-post fail.
Troll win.
Where there is troll there is only fail.
Trolls are the best…. @:’D3>
(pulls out shotgun) DIE TROLL DIE! BAM!
I love brassiere foods.
We’re all out of brassiere foods today, but can I interest you in a sticky bun from Ryannon’s panties?
Well, I wasn’t hungry ’til a moment ago…
She is so nasty sometimes.
Only sometimes?
You do sleep at times.
but i’m sure her dreams are just as nasty.
Some places are too dark, even for me.
I don’t know, seems like you’d be knock, knock, knockin’ on heaven’s door
I would eat out of my braziers, but then they’d be all sticky and smell terrible.
Subject to the identity of that which (whom) you are eating out.
lol.
But for us the girl scouts can black mail us to buy millions of cookies… which isn’t bad I guess… just expensive
Our flower shop sponsored a troop so we got TONS of boxes of cookies and were also obligated to buy boxes from our clients children. Every fruit and gourmet basket got at least one box of cookies “compliments of GS Troop 176*
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
thass what i’m talkin’ bout
(not that there’s anything wrong with girl-on-girl treats)
There is a Boy Scout Service Center here in Springdale that really disturbs me every time I pass the sign. I keep wondering if the Boy Scouts are providing the servicing or being serviced themselves.
The Boy Scouts are a disturbing organization. They maintain they have the right to enact anti-gay discrimination and they took that position to the Supreme Court and won, arguing that the purpose of Boy Scouts was to instill its “system of values” in young people (Boy Scouts of America v. Dale).
.
The Girl Scouts are a separate and markedly more enlightened organization. They embrace diversity, tolerance, and non-discriminatory values, and understand that girl-on-girl treats can be and are naturally wholesome.
I didn’t allow my son to join the Boy Scouts for that very reason. Well that and the fact that take a hard stance on the fact that pedophilia is NOT homosexuality. It is frightening that they make the effort to distinguish the difference and your campout suddenly becomes a NAMBLA meeting in the woods. “We teach them to hate gays but a little man-boy love just puts hair on his chest.”
Just because the Boy Scouts do not share your views doesn’t make them a discriminatory. Let’s say that there was an organization that only admitted muslims, or hispanics, or only women. You would not be admonishing them. They are a private organization that can choose their members as they see fit. They do great work in their communities. Another bone to pick is comparing them to NAMBLA. Taking the actions of a few sickos and extrapolating that to include the rest of the people just isn’t right. *puts soap box away* Now how about a potato comment?
The corporate office in Miami Lakes (back in the 90′s at least) used my family flower shop and I know for a fact they swept many many lawsuits under the rug due to what NAMBLA condones. So it wasn’t a “few sickos”. They could compete with the Catholic church in frequency.
Asinus,
Please explain to me how the Boy Scouts are NOT a discriminatory organization. By their own rules, they ban gay members, and last I checked that falls into the Supreme Court’s definitions of discrimination. The only reason they are allowed to continue this biased activity is because they are a private membership-based organization, the same as any country club which bans women from membership.
I think you are confusing the right to exclude with the definition of discrimination. I think you’re intelligent enough to look it up, so I’ll spare you the cut-n-paste. May I suggest, however, you click my name for a better clarification of the government’s take on it.
Last time I looked they only admitted boys. That’s discrimination.
“I checked that falls into the Supreme Court’s definitions of discrimination.”
Then I think you need to go back and look again.
The answer is in your own name:
“Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964 protects individuals against employment discrimination on the basis of sex as well as race, color, national origin, and religion. Title VII applies to employers with 15 or more employees, including state and local governments. It also applies to employment agencies and to labor organizations, as well as to the federal government.”
The Boy Scouts of America is a VOLUNTEER Organization and is permitted under Article VII to have membership standards that must be met. The Supreme Court Ruled that the Boy Scouts May.
This is all old news – it is time to move on and stop picking on a good program because of one thing. Why don’t you pick on the Muslim religion in Iran?
Not to mention that most people and organizations (although I will admit that I didn’t look up the Scouts’ particular arguement) argue against having homosexuals as scout leaders or teachers because the presence of young boys will ignite their unnatural lusts and they won’t be able to stop themselves from molesting the kiddies… when it is statistically proven that most child molesters are hetero. And “taking the actions of a few sickos and extrapolating that to include the rest of the people” is exactly what the Scouts’ policy (and most other homophobic ‘family values’ activists) is doing.
I love your username even if it does remind me of patches being sewn on to clothing in China.
Sex education is not a value that is in the program.
The whackos are attempting to create a program where they can parade around with questionable values, much like the United Way allows people who are, by their definition, diverse, have sex with animals.
Justice is supossed to be blind, not ignorant.
“Let’s say that there was an organization that only admitted muslims, or hispanics, or only women. You would not be admonishing them.”
Yeah, actually I would.
“They are a private organization that can choose their members as they see fit.”
Yes, they have that right, but then they shouldn’t get any sort of preferential treatment from governments and schools.
Ahhh, but there are groups that are Muslim only that are allowed to practice this, but the Boy Scouts allow the Muslims in.
You will never see groups who refuse to allow people in because of religon be chastised by the left leaning socialists, only the Boy Scouts because of a flawed sense of ethics.
If it is just the one or two of you who want to keep your son out – then fine – but drop the whining banter of just because. You are the same people who will keep your kids out of soccer because the other kids will kick their butt.
Boy Scouts do let girls in. For those of you who fail to do your homework – I suggest you look it up and quit with the ignorant banter.
I’m fairly certain that if they tried that here in Canada, they’d be cited for Human Rights violations. The fact that the US didn’t sign the International Declaration of Human Rights and Freedoms is the only reason why the Boy Scouts can do that.
Can do what? What did I miss?
Umm, exclude homosexuals from being scouts or leaders. (Thank Gawd them boys are safe!)
With all due respect: Don’t drop that line in Asheville, should you ever visit.
You relize they are less safe then if gays were aloud in, correct? Because the in the closet molesters are much better at decieving people and have a habit of doing it anyway.
Well duh! If we’d signed that we wouldn’t have been able to use our tor… er, um, I mean interrogation techniques.
A sad touché to that one.
Actually… even if the US signed the declaration (and Congress ratified), the Boy Scouts could STILL do it, because Congress has no authority to override our First Amendment right to freely associate with (and only with) whomever we so choose, in whatever manner we so choose. You mean to tell me that you don’t have such liberty in Canada?
I think it is funny that the only people complaining about this system of values are the very same ones who are the intolerant.
Actually, “Be Prepared” is both the boy scouts and the girl scouts’ (although, they’re part of the same organisation) and the Girl Guides, as well, which is separate organisation.
All of them originated from the same source, though.
Girl Scouts and Boy Scouts are NOT the same organization.
first this is the best day ever
Already did, I married one
fail:P
or possibly a pedo WIN
Pedo gentleman. At least he is doing things the ‘proper’ way..
Speaking as a former Girl Scout, you can still be a Girl Scout when you’re over 100. Just because they belong to the organization doesn’t mean they’re all 12 years old or younger.
This is becoming pedobearblog.
PedoBear is ready!
I think I will
I will I think
I think, therefore I will.
I drink, therefore I spill.
You stink, therefore I’m ill.
Still pink, therefore a thrill.
You wink, therefore I fill.
Still thrilled to be in the pink.
Go easy, or you’ll be in the red.
Hope you don’t mind crowding. Mookie usually has 2 in the pink.
I will, therefore you inherit
Skwerlly, there’s an ICHC about you… click my name.
Ha! That’s ME! *sips more Hot Black Coffee* Thank yew vary mulch!
okay… clickie again for the impending results… just transpose Squirrel…
There’s this one too. Click on it. Assuming I got it to work.
Damn, it didn’t work. *sigh*
The pic I was trying to link to is on todays ICHC front page.
Careful – clicky my name for possible consequences of coffee.
*scampers about in caffeine powered skwerlly circles*
Glad to be useful in some happy way
– *winks @ McF*
Ooh, so what do I get??
*resists urge to say “boot to the head”*
Oh, that was SO (ur)wrong!
Don’t tempt fate!!!
Crap. I forgot.
*readies the bomb shelter*
You know what’d really suck? Inheriting a koi that’s been in the family for 3 or 4 generations, and having it die a week later…
*hides behind big oak tree safe from “FOOOOM!!”*
*wink*
Whatever you desire Ms. Dragon, whatever you desire…
Pssssssssst.
Wood burns, and rumour has it they manufacture trees from wood.
*hides behind big METAL oil tank, safe from “FOOOOM!!”*
*snorkity*
*does not *FOOOOM!*…THIS time!*
Oil burns much better then wood… so that is another bad idea.
The pedo bear strikes again!
On their menu, DQ features Dilly Bars and MooLatté frozen coffees.
Is that MooLatté, Mookie covered in chocolate and and coffee? OMG!!!! I want 500 to go!!!!
There is no way you could handle 500 chocolate covered Mookies. Better give me some.
After 1 Mookie he will be lucky to wake up again, much less glad.
*Hands over a few golf bags*
At least I am low sodium, so he won’t bloat.
Oh, I rather think he will.
Oh I will, in the right area.
Kankles? You too?
If thats what you want to call it.
*Shares half with B2TH* Yeah I know, not 500 at once, I wanted some for reserve.
sorry, all we have are girl scouts
Invest in the future?
*I hate myself for that comment.*
“Some people say that children are the future. They’re wrong! Evil Robot Overlords are our future.” Not sure who said it…
53 63 61 72 79 2d 77 65 74 2d 66 72 6f 6d 2d 73 74 65 61 6d 79 2d 73 68 6f 77 65 72 2d 6d 6f 6e 73 74 65 72 73 2c 20 74 68 61 74 27 73 20 77 68 6f 20 3a 29
53 68 68 68 2c 20 79 6f 75 20 73 65 78 79 20 44 72 2e 20 42 65 61 73 74 21
…hut hut HIKE!
There will one day spring from the brain of science a machine or force so fearful in its potentialities,so absolutely terrifying, that even man, the fighter,who will dare torture and death in order to inflict torture and death,will be appalled, and so abandon war forever.
- Thomas Edison
If that’s the case, just how bad does it have to get around here?
I’d say we’re close to maximum capacity.
I certainly hope we can’t get much worse! But mankind is … creative.
I wonder men dare trust themselves with men.
.
Immortal gods, I crave no pelf;
I pray for no man but myself:
Grant I may never, prove so fond,
To trust man on his oath or bond;
Or a harlot, for her weeping;
Or a dog, that seems a-sleeping;
Or a keeper, with my freedom;
Or my friends, if I should need ‘em.
Amen. So fall to’t:
Rich men sin, and I eat root.
Much good dich thy good heart, Marius!
drive thru veal?
Tastes like Alex!
“Submitted by Dan and Tiffany D”?
Really, did it need to take two people to submit this? Was it just too much fail for one person to submit?
Plausible deniability. Each one can blame the other and reasonable doubt sneaks in. Damn lawyers.
Is that Dan D P3NUS1
Yes and they recently relocated from Climax, NY to California.
Intercourse PA????? Climax MI??? Jugtown PA??? Burning Well, PA ?? Bonesteel, SD ?? Bangs, TX ?? Bushland, TX ?? Dripping Springs, TX ?? Needmore, TX ?? Humptulips, WA ??
If you’re driving through Michigan, make sure to get off at Exit 69, “Big Beaver Road.” (I shit you not)
Mookie, I most certainly would like to get off at Big Beaver Road via Exit 69. Can you give me directions?
LB! You’re riding my tail!
Just avoid Middlefart, Denmark. It’s a real stinker.
There’s also Big Bone Lick State Park just south of Cincinnati when you enter Kentucky. Seriously.
I was born and primarily raised in Nth Alabama and close to the very very very rural area I grew up was a town known as Lickskillet
I pass Toad Lick, AR every time I go to Little Rock.
I think you’re just hallucinating it.
I did not have sexual relations with that toad.
Don’t forget the home town of basketball’s Larry Bird: French Lick, IN.
French Lick? I bet Loz’d like that one.
I have seen some weird folks in Arkansas when I lived there, I do not put it pass them licking anything, especially toads, they would probably think that was just tenderizing it.
Take I-75 north, and the exit is 69 miles into Michigan.
Climax, Michigan was also mentioned. The Big Beaver exit isn’t nearly as funny as the fact that you can take I-69 to Climax (it’s where it crosses I-94).
how many idiots does it take to submit a fail?
*cuddles*
and hi, pob
Hello, gorgeous!
*cuddles*
This makes me want to go to DQ…
You can have a cookie. Just don’t eat the whole box.
What if you enjoy eating the box?
Call me sometime. My pantry is all stocked up.
*stops by the Farm Store for milk*
sure….if they even see the cookies…
This is what’s on the other side of the DQ sign that said “Scream until Daddy stops”…
Funny. I thought it said, “Child Abuse is a Crime”, ’cause the next thing to follow screaming kids is angry parents…
Or drunken parents. “Daddy drinks because you cry”
Thanks for the reminder, Ry. Time to go grab some beers.
Old Joke: How does a Cub Scout become a Boy Scout?
How?
OK, I’ll bite. How does a Cub Scout become a Boy Scout?
Well, you certainly shouldn’t bite.
He eats a brownie.
You are totally perverted. You don’t belong here.
No Mookie you are
you said “OK, I’ll bite” LOL
But that was a selfless, endearing bite.
*vows to bite harder next time* I have a reputation to uphold.
Yeah! What HE ^ said!
Indeed. We must work to keep Failblog the child-friendly nurturing environment it has always been. Crude double entendres do not belong here. Begone, ye foul-mouthed harrier.
Agreed. All double entendres should be well guided.
Burning the midnight oil again, eh Doc?
‘Sokay…it’s whale derived.
That makes it renewable so it’s environmentally friendly!
Someone will be tazed over this… It might take time, but it will occur.
So he’s working on a merit vag?
If he succeeds he’ll get a (bald) patch.
And maybe one day become a counselor. Help other people get their own. Just trying to help others, you know?
Ummm….Is this where the line starts?
yep, starts right behind those priests over there…
How convenient , they even have a drive through.
You’d better get up some speed if you’re going to bust through that hymen.
Just hope they get your order correct.
Girl Scout Cookies: Made from REAL Girl Scouts!
Their uniforms are soylent green.
Thin mints is people!!
To Serve Girl Scout
hmmmmm….soylent greeennnnn
No thanks, I prefer Brownies.
They can’t run as fast right?
No, easer to transport.
I prefer 4H, myself.
EWE!
He just likes to horse around.
horse? good, i was worried about Bod
He’s just getting your goat.
(Bubbles: Nooooooooooooooooooooooooo
*squeezes goat teddy tightly*)
Watch out they don’t put you out to pasture, Mikey.
I wouldn’t want to follow the herd anyway.
*rises from the waters, a la Lady of the Lake*
Whosoever wields this *squeeze* shall likewise be king of all FailBlog.
*SQUEEEEEEEZE!!*
*submerges back into the lake.
Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of fail.
-Dennis
Goats wear teddies? I heard of them wearing peignoir but never teddies. They tend to be a bit sheepish about showing too much wool.
Speaking of, did you see the new Halter top in the Frederiks of HollyWool catalog? Stunning!
Frederik, providing masturbatory material long before Victoria ever revealed her secret.
I started out with the Sears Roebuck catalog.
So did Lori Loughlin. I bet Full House was like p0rn for you, seeing her live and in color.
I always enjoyed the Craftsman cataloge and of course Monster Jug’s and Penthouse that I found in dad’s room.
AAAAAAAHH!!!!!
*Runs screaming from the room*
^ just remembered his National Geographic is in the other room
Nah…BFF is never actually IN the room. He always seem to be running out of it, screaming for one thing or another.
As evidenced by your authentic Montana Rancher Velcro Gloves…
I’m starting to think DQ needs its own Fail blog. Scream until Daddy Stops, Have a Doucheeburger and treat yourself to a girl scout… it’s all good. Next, I suppose, will be: “Come grab our Brownies.”
(Special discount to cops calling 911 to report their own deaths.)
photoshopped.
I hope you get black lung in the coal mines.
May he have a mute canary.
…and die broke and alone in a one room apartment in New York City from syphilis and festering rat bites.
I feel such solidarity with you guys *sniffle*
I’ve got nothing to do today… I could cross state lines for a little retribution, but you’ll have to call my parole officer for permission…
If you get caught, I will have them put you in lockup at my house.
*makes anonymous call to authorities*
I assure you, I won’t get.. oh, wait, there’s an officer at the door…
Think I could get a cherry on top?
Only the first time.
What happened to my free re-fills?
You can’t unring the bell.
Ahem….(clicky)…
Sick, sick, sick. That being said, there’s the ultimate bachelor party favor…
I was also bemused – the next day, HIV+ patient therapy came to mind.
Yeah, if you think otherwise you’re nuts.
Hahah I find your timing comical.
*thinks twice before answering*
*so doesn’t*
*thinks once before answering*
DOH!
*notices lack of awareness on part of self*
go on now, off, you.
Vandalism WIN?
Low budget win
*Grabs keys*
*drives to nearest DQ*
*Grabs Phone*
*Calls nearest police*
*Grabs Phones*
*Calls FBI, Interpol and the CIA*
*Grabs Commsets*
*Hails Federation Headquarters and the Galactic Embassy*
*Grabs telegraph*
*Went 88 miles an hour*
*Grabs messenger pigeon*
*Waits several hours before realizing that bird had a very poor sense of direction*
Crud.
Your girl scout belongs to Dairy Queen
Dairy Queen’s like a pedophile’s candy store
Geeez Americans still have girls scouts? We had scouts here in Poland too but it didn’t quite work out so we don’t have those anymore.
Yes, we have Girl Scouts. They’re known for raising funds by selling boxes of small cookies, some of them quite tasty (I suspect the missing word is “cookie”, and this is an act of vandalism). Girl Scout Cookies, though, aren’t made from real Girl Scouts.
It is Girl Scout Cookie time! Only $4 a box! I will not survive my daughter’s cookie selling with out wanting to kill my self! Happy! Happy!
Oh and you still have Girl Scouts in Poland they’re just called Girl Guides now.
Apparently this Dairy Queen has to go door to door and introduce itself to its neighbors whenever it moves into a new neighborhood.
But Anpu doesn’t like the services of the inexperienced and unaged. Girls are like wine. You have to wait for them to age (unless you like prison rape), but not too long or else you’re left with vinigar. You don’t want to make out with vinegar.
FOR GOD’S SAKES WHY DO YOU KEEP MENTIONING ANPU?!
*rage, rage*
I’m pretty sure it’s because he likes reactions just like that one.
this photo is so fake. admins: stop letting people send this in…it’s turning into a meme about child rape. I don’t think you want this place to become a chan.
DQ has a girl scout cookie blizzard assface
This one just failed to portray that properly
danny/b/ … you do know, don’t you, that Failblog was developed off of the ICHC’s Lolcats, and that the idea of LolCats was created in “Caturday,” and that Caturday was born on 4Chan?
.
In effect, FB can be viewed as having always been a kind of chan wanna /b/.
.
[name clicky pic related]
Spoilsport.
agreed, the fails are less funny when theyre fake.
it makes us … *cry*
ew pedo!
And then we saw pedobear walk into the door that morning.
Need a dispenser here!
Just use your left hand and the bukkit beside you.
Ummm… that’s not what the bukkit is for.
lol
this is obviously fake,
i h8 it when people post
blaitant (or however you spell it) fakes
this definitely isn’t fake. i work at dairy queen. yay me…
lol. but we had so much fun with the name of this blizzard
Can I get a side of Brownies with that?
hmmm… i’d lyk da little blond one… LOL!!
i cant believe that happened!! that is so FUNNY!!
No thanks, girls are too stringy. I’ll have a boy scout instead.
“Drive thru” (American spelling is so amusing) is the key phrase.
Thats a win in my book.
YUMMY!!
HAHA i want Dominos
Hmm, I’m wondering if this is the same Dairy Queen that featured the “Doucheeburger” (Double Cheeseburger abbreviation FAIL) on their sign. For the record, it’s also here on failblog.org
win.
As a girl scout I don’t know whether to be insulted, shocked, or amused!!!! maybe some of all three! lol!
just disgusting.
*up one notch*