Submitted by Julian F
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It’s the pedobear starter kit!
How convenient.
C-C-C-COMBO CAREBEAR!!
I think these movies go together, I had the CareBear with the rainbow on his belly, and fear dot com wasted two hours of my life I will never get back. Makes sense to me.
If I offended you in anyway I am sorry. I meant no harm, it was an attempt to explain my previous comment. Someone brought it to my attention on a previous fail and I was too lazy to look up the thread.
Marius, I don’t know what you’re talking about, so you clearly haven’t offended me at all…
That is a relief.
*Sighs.*
All this time on failblog and I am still paranoid about unintentionally offending someone. Very silly.
I used to do that too:)
We’ve all accidentally offended someone here at some point, Marius. Any regular commenter can see that you’re a fine person. Better safe than sorry with the apologies, too.
*tips hat*
Hmm. I think it looks better this way.
*tips hat to a more rakish angle*
The more you know… *cue star*
What?
who are you talking to
C-C-C-COMBO BEARSERCARE
now all i need is the pedophile glasses and beard, i think those are on isle 14 at waly mart
Don’t forget the child predator gloves!
oh ya thanks, i should also pick up a shamWOW
Everyone knows those are not for sale at stores.
You can buy them at Bed Bath and Beyond. In the brick and mortar stores.
*Runs out and buys a case then mails it to B2TH*
Does he have a SamWow addiction I somehow missed reading about?
Yes, and everyone is passing it around to use it for cleaning up. I do not think it can be washed clean.
Apparently one can machine wash a ShamWow, but it is not recommended that one try to dry it in a machine dryer.
Drying would make it a ShamOkay?
ShamMeh.
I have no idea, my best guess is that it might just disintegrate in the dryer. But I do like dilly’s suggestion very much!
ShamBles
ShamLess
ShamPoo.
ShamU
i hate that guy
we should post a logic fail on
“its made in germany, you should buy it”
…nazis
and a white,windowless van!
no it was Child Predator Hands (-.-)
l
V
|
^
| |
but I’m already here
*rubs Huggy Bear’s Belly Badge and watches his foot thump on the ground*
erm, that’s not a foot
If Champ Bear has a trophy on his Belly Badge and Share Bear’s Belly Badge changed from a milkshake to two crossed lollipops, what would Pedo Bear’s Belly Badge show?
well, it’s like two lolipops, but they share a stick… and the stick is kinda funny shaped.
also, it makes children cry
On that note, I am off to another fun filled day of being away. I had withdrawls yesterday being in meetings all day and now I have to do the dog and pony show for the suits at my stores. Have a great day everyone. I am sure Mookie will be back soon to rub your belly badge some more Huggy.
LOL, loli pops! Perfect for pedobear.
and that’s not the ground
looks like an old sod to me
You Tull’d him!
^^^ Eyed lolipops with bad intent.
That’s right, Mookie! And you too can have your very own Pedobear Starter Kit for only 5 EASY payments of $6.99. We’ll even throw in your very own pair of CHILD PREDATOR GLOVES and a map to the biggest Sewage Treatment Playground in your town. Everything on sale at regular price, right here at the Fail Shopping Network!
Movie pack for small children but not suitable for big babies
They’re both thrillers. Note the Care bear title!
The first time I saw Share a Scare, I accidentally my pants.
did u share it?
Wore?
Ate.
burned
split?
breathed in and out slowly and calmly, and totally quieted
Whore?
pats the sheep. Hi Bod!
Good morning Amber!
*hands Amber two asterisks*
On me.
ps I love that you actually are patting a sheep in your pic. I just wish we could see the sheep.
Wait… are you patting the sheep or… where is your hand, Amber?
i am hanging on tight being pulled across a parking lot, wheeeeeeee!
No, thanks.
3rd!
you should watch the right one suits your age better as you cant even count normally (or take 3 minutes to get this and write 3rd…) because you’re the 4th u idiot
*counts*
Mookie, Fis6, MuffinMan
hmm, looks like 3rd to me. Sure, maybe he still deserves ridicule for writing a completely pointless comment devoid of any wit, but I think when it comes to counting fails, you’re the one we should be looking at
Natasha’s 4:05 am comment also preceded MuffinBrain’s
*here’s looking at you, syg*
Therein lies the rub. syg is counting distinct original posts instead of timestamps. It’s quite the quagmire. Which do you choose to count?
Drac.
Chocula.
Frankenberrry.
Duckula.
of Monte Cristo.
Au jus.
giggity?
Crows.
one potato two potato three potato four. . .
With that trick you can go on tour. Clergymen everywhere will be impressed.
if you run out of potatoes then buy some more
One potato two potato three potato four,
this amount of spuds,
leads to happy vicars.
If you run out of potatoes, don’t you buy no more,
The clergy they don’t eat them,
they keep them in their knickers.
Bravo! I present you 1kg of the finest potatoes.
Thankyou! Thankyou!
*accepts potatoes graciously*
I…errr…have a really important thing I have to go to.
It may take some time.
Bye!
*runs off giggling manically*
Mikey, why are you squeezing me so tightly? Mikey? MIKEY?!!?!? NO NO NO THAT’S A BAD PLACE! BAD!!!
*SQUEEZE*
But it feels so good!
Then it must be bad for you.
Get a room.
Or a curtain-less kitchen.
BTW, do you know where those potatoes have been??
I wouldn’t trust any potatoes given to me by ANY vicar.
KKK katy ur name is a fail lol KKK u h8er
good point. But yeah, I was counting original posts, not time stamps. I suppose time stamps would be the most accurate way to count, I just always counted chains as one when it came to comments. I think of it as he was the 3rd to comment, Natasha was 1st to reply. Technically you’re right, though.
And so another victory muffin for the MuffinMan
troll trophy
no. you still fail miserably, I just have to join you in the fail, on a technicality, lol
I’d call it an actuality.
Each day a fail
Each day a win
And time is simply epoch.
That’s epochryphal.
*comes into the thread, spinning like the Tasmania Devil*
*stops by Mikey D*
*SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEZES the moomin!*
*spins back out, leaving chaos behind*
*surveys the wreckage* Sigh. *sweeps and ShamWows*
*dons frenchmaid outfit*
*ineffectually dusts while bending over a lot*
*dials Mr. Cuddles’ phone*
WhoWhatWhereWhen?
Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
(for medica ^^)
.
droll trophy
what’s the fail? They’re both creepy
They both look kind of scary to me.
the one on the right is too scary for the childrens, though.
wait, your right, or mine?
no your left
Your right, he’s wrong.
Your right is the new left.
Your left is the new stay.
i’m so confused
left,right,left,stay,sit do the hokey pokey and you turn yourself around
I named my dog Stay. It’s fun to call him — “Come here, Stay! Come here, Stay!”
He went insane.
Now he just ignores me and keeps typing.
I had a dog with no legs once. I never named him.
Wouldn’t matter…he’s not gonna come if you call.
She could have named him cigarette.
roll trophy
How about “Mat”?
lol ur name says kkk lolz nice job… NAME FAIL!!!
Behave, it’s a song reference.
Golly, I can’t stand these people who don’t comment on the fails pictured!
two wrongs make a right
Two bongs make a night?
Two wongs make a kung-pao delight.
two wangs make a sight
tow bangs make a night
*two
Are you two-timing me, B?
Two thongs make a night.
Moo thang makes it right.
I’d like a second opinion.
You’re nice.
Three 90° rights make a left!
It takes two to make a thing go right…
I came to get down
Nooooooo! Not this earworm. I’ll have that “cat being used as a bellows” noise in my head for days.
Are you internationally known? Known to rock the microphone?
Watch us rock the mic,
watch us rock the mic,
watch us rock the mic,
Psyyyyyyyyyyyche!
Stop talking to yourself in the mirror and you’ll be less confused.
and yet sadly the mirror talks back
OMG! You’ve not seen her mirror.
no her mirror hasn’t seen me.
And you think that’s by chance??
nope, it’s scared
If you scan your mirror it will be good again.
I xeroxed a mirror.
Now I have an extra xerox machine.
Anyone who tries that with sawbuck will find the Feds looking to give them a sorebutt.
Sorbet? That’s not so bad…
*zerbets*
*giggles uncontrollably*
actually i vampire can you see the teeth
hmm interesting verb “to vampire”…. never heard that one before
it’s kind of like “to cowboys suck”
Is that kind of like “I brokeback”?
No, that’s a quote from the potatoe movie.
Brokeback is also an acceptable adjective, as in: “DOooood, that’s so Brokeback!”
(ducks into telephone booth)
(emerges)
Woo!
Call PETA, who put the ducks there?
Llamas.
Como te llamas?
*Llamas, llamas, ducks.*
You’re either verbing the shit out of those nouns, or shitting the noun out of them.
Here’s a llama, there’s a llama, and another little llama…
I llama, you llama, he llamas, she llamas, we llama, they llama.
Grazin’ in the grass is a gas, mi llama dig it.
Half a llama, twice the llama, not a llama. . .
“Once, twice, three times a llama”
♪ Hello, Dalai ♪
♪ It’s so nice to have you brokeback where you belong ♪
Yeah I was blogging about this earlier and it tripped me up so I Googled it and Myspaced a couple friends. Then I had to car so I could grocery store and by the time I apartmented again, a bunch of people had emailed me and they all vitamin cat ossilating fan dvd button pavement wart. Am I right? Am I right? WTF’s a noun, anyway?
oscillating
It’s the pedophile date package
’699′ is the share-a-scare position
I’d suggest 696, but then, someone gets left out and appears to be sulking about it. They did not get to “share the scare.”
What? Where? You must still be tripping from that sandwich dilly made you.
Nah, luckily! I was kept safe until it wore off…
*sip, sip, pass*
Safe, huh? That’s not what the pictures I saw suggested.
DrB gets safe and safeword confused. He used the safeword but it was in a language that Mookie doesn’t understand.
Rubs ‘enchanting’ off the list of safe words.
*and then reads Ry’s post properly*
*kerrrrrslpotch*
*places ‘enchanting’ back on the list,
takes ‘We’regonnastopbymorning’ off*
Wait – there was a safe word? Then I guess these rope burns were wholly avoidable.
Ummm…no.
How many toes does a fish have?
I wonder yep I wonder
And how many wings on a cow?
I wonder yep I wonder
are you high or something
if you only knew
rated TV Y7 because it may be too spooky for children under 7
Actually, considering how badly Fear Dot Com sucked, that’s a rather appropriate combo and price. lulz
If it sucked badly, I’ll give it a miss.
Don’t you embrace the maxim that ‘even bad sex is good?’
Nope. And I’m pretty choosy with my time/attention too…
In Russia Maxim embraces you…
(troll troll troll)
(ho ho ho)
In troll land, ho miss gives it to you badly. It sucks.
SHUT UP
*kidnaps Maxim from Dancing with the Stars fame*
*immediately moves to Russia*
I was on the cover of Maxim. You might remember my issue. I was the one that was scantily clad with suggestively wet hair and I covered my nipples with my hands while pushing my boobs together to make them look bigger than they are.
I think I have that one!!
(I actually used to subscribe to Maxim. I claimed it was for my husband, but to be honest….)
oooh, i think that gives the husband threesome rights
*enigmatic smile*
need a visit from the pedobear? ;D (i also do children’s parties)
Oof, I read that as “children’s panties” and thought that was information we already had by virtue of the name Pedobear.
well, if u have some of those i suppose i could pay them a visit
*Louvre* …oops, I think we’re on to Europe again…
aren’t u on all of them, just with different makeup?
Is it that obvious?
well, it’s a good makeup job, but if u measure the breasts, and navel sizes, they are absolutely consistent, that was the main clue
Everybody needs a hobby.
Mine is bird-loathing.
Ummm, why?
I think it is just the Cvckow Dilly has a problem with.
Oh! Sorry, Avis. It’s from John Hodgman, not me…
Ok, I’ll try this again. If this is a double, my apologies.
*breathes sigh of relief*
“Suppose you are an asthmatic child, unsuited for play in cold weather … There are still any number of indoor amusements that will not overtax the lungs or the inhaler. For example: Inhaler whittling. Fabrication of elaborate kites that shall never be flown. Pill-swapping. Bird-loathing. Lying on the floor and staring at the ceiling. Finding new quiet radio programs to listen to. Hiding.”
I was on the cover of “Hold your own boobs” magazine.
I was on the cover of “Dragon” magazine, but someone else was holding my boobs for me.
I have a reputation to uphold.
role trophy
And you do it remarkably well.
Oh, another choosy man? *sigh* *goes to wax mustache*
Don’t forget the landing strip.
Ouch, hey! Mooks, I’d rather shaving that waxing…
but, well, if it’s your thang…then I’m up for it…
*braces in barber’s chair*
*melts wax* *grins maniacally*
*wonders if she’s perfect*
Present progressive, but thanks for asking. *wink*
One for the parent, one for the kid. Where is the problem?
buy two presents to both of the members of the family for one’s price.
The Fear Dot Com title looks a bit like Calvin’s writing.
Do I also notice incorrect use of an apostrophe?
o
m
g
i think you’re right: TOO MANY APOSTROPHES
I’m glad someone else noticed this!
i personnaly the price isn’t that great i think it’s rather small
You accidenty your verb! What will you do? (I won’t even bring up punctuation)
Though, I’d take your instruction.
You should sign up for her webinar: “Tubers, They’re Not Just For Dinner.”
I found it more informative than: “Pies, They’re Not Just For Poking.”
I did her prerequisite: “Pies, They’re Hot Just For Poking.”
*gives Dr. B. some ointment for his &^%$#*
*applies vigorously with ShamWow*
.
“Highs, They’ve Got Lust For Smoking.”
.
*rinses glass* ‘night.
Goodnight, sweet Prince. And flights of angels sing thee to thy rest.
Ouch.
*wakes up all the same*
i would get it if they threw in some potatoes
Vicar? I thought they weren’t allowing internet access from your cell.
He’s a heretical vicar, he is allowed to do anything.
you mean like a druid, or a shiik?
dictator
i rule with an iron fist….. any who oppose shall be punished.
and packed with innuendo
packed with an iron fist?
…should i put fudge in there or would that be too gross?
depends on the flavor
ummmm, heard of golden gaytime?
ok you caught me i am a unic
orn?
Flee! Flee! Blix is coming!
Oh no Hans Brix!
(I could have gone on Annon, but that was too tempting.)
buy curious
get deadcat free?
If you buy now you will get:
2 curious for the price of one
the deadcat
and 10lb bag of yup you guessed it potatoes
all for 4 easy payments of $29.99
plus $59.95 shipping and handling
But wait! There’s more!
Call within the next ten minutes, and you’ll also receive…
(I always wondered how the companies knew EXACTLY when their commercials were aired on each channel and thus would know when the ten minute limit for calling an order in was up.)
They have cameras in your house to spy on when you watch TV. How else do you think they know how many people watch each program for the ratings?
Speaking of which, Mikey, could you tilt the webcam a little to the left? It’s cutting off part of your thigh.
That’s where all the blood was coming from!
*tilts webcam a little too much to the left*
Dead cats are always free. (clickety)
As tempting as that is…
No don’t do it. 90% of all clicketies are bad for the eyes.
oh wait i forgot the evil laugh
muahahahaha
(trying to sound as evil as possible)
Another gaytheist?
Richard “Teabag” Dawkins? Sam HairAss?
vicar who?
dude, learn to recognise previous fail references
oh ya sorry i a little slow this late into my day.
Well they both suck.
Each other?
Do they blow?
The combo fail is that it should have been the Blair Witch Project combined with the Care Bears. They do live in the Forest of Feelings after all and this is where the Blair Witch incident happened.
♪ If you go out in the woods today,
You’re sure of a BIG surprise ♪
For some odd reason, that song keeps coming up on FB.
I know I’m breaking up run here, but. . .
When my eldest was little she would take all of her stuffed animals off the bed and put them in the closet before she went to sleep. We found out years later that after she heard this song she had nightmares about them dragging her off to some kind of macabre picnic. Poor kid.
Awwwww… poor kid.
Well, in retrospect, neither of those movies are all that scary… so I guess they were just trying to package crappy movies together.
Oh, wait… I see the fail. They are charging $6.99 for the set… that’s WAY overpriced! Okay, good fail!
Heh. I get it. They accidenty the f.
.
bear dot com
feardotcomsucked………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………yayscrollingcomment
As much as the Cowboys?
The Cowboys suck more, but they don’t swallow.
They can’t even do that right?
cowboys suck doesn’t say The Cowboys suck, though they may. I think he’s referring to cowboys in general, which probably isn’t a good thing to say in Texas.
Anyone else notice that it’s also an English fail?
DVD’s? No. No possesive. Bad.
LMAO Fuzz! Excellent song title!
heh …
*awards self a post trophey*
Defiantly… The cowboys had persistent behavior and a continuous flow of saliva.
hahaheuauea
care bears
n fear dot com
Anpu still thinks it’s overpriced. A Fear Dot Com frisbee and a Carebear frisbee? Overpriced.
That’s actually not a half bad combo pack. Something for the kids to watch while mommy and daddy depart to their bedroom….and lock their door
Why would mommy and daddy lock their bedroom door to watch a CareBear mov . . . oh that is just wrong!
Oh god. How DO mommy and daddy furries reproduce, anyway? Do they have holes in the suits or only wear the heads or what?
Are you sure you want an answer? Because I’m reasonably sure someone will.
we dont always wear the suits, just to spice up our love life on occasion. you gotta admit that pink care bear is hawt
I watched feardotcom and i do not recommand it, but it does has some nice boobie scens :]
Scens of a Woman?
I think he’s a druggie, he keeps dropping ‘e’s.
I think he has dropsee.
.
(I’m glad to know he doesn’t recommand that movie, though — it appears from the pic on the box it’s got at least one black eye already.)
Then I think you need to tell him again, honey.
scens and scensibility
*Puts on sunglasses and offers Mookie a rose*
Care to tango?
FAKE!!!
If you enjoyed feardotcom, you will certainly love the Care Bears, as it’s on par with your IQ. Idiot.
take a look its in a book a READING RAINBOW
asdf loves qwerty
ruffo loves random
colored pencil loves flying hyena.
Great value=false advertising
2 DVD’s=false advertising, too. If you ad them both up, you get .0000000000000001 of a DVD.
Oops, I meant add.
false ad’ing
I have that EXACT same picture on my phone! It was a pairing from my store!
harika bebek seviyoruz seni
cool! ^)
This is not a fail… this is exactly what my 21 yr old daughterwould want. Horror and carebears are her favorite.
can you actually buy that combo? want, want, want it!!! (i’d take 2 care bear movies as well!!!)
well they are both scary….
Priced at $6.66. LOL no, but that’d be funny xD
The person who packed those up probably grew up with me. I loved scary movies as a kid but my imagination would get all worked up so I couldn’t sleep afterwards. Instead of going to bed right away, my sister and I would watch Care Bears. I bought a Care Bears DVD recently for that very purpose =)
the sad thing is, i would buy this…
I see what’s wrong here! haha! They misused the apostrophe!
the perfect combo for kiddies! (FAIL/FAIL) LOL
Lol iv seen one of those before, but it was
Saw 4 and Dora The Explorer
Awesome you get a bonus movie for the parents when you buy one for your kids or vice versa… Love the idea
Double fail – there should be no apostrophe in ‘DVDs’.
wdwdwd
Most of the time, I give the person a pass as making a mistake.
This one is STUPID!!!!!!
What MORON did THAT????
Punctuation fail, also.
Next thing you know, they’re going to be selling IT and Dora!
wrong written, too
DVDs without apostrophe
Haha I work at the place you can get those combos.
No way I’m buying that. CareBares way too scary for me.
I would buy that for my sister
Mommy, Why Is That Guy All Red. (The Next Day) Hey Lets Play As The Guys In That Movie We Saw! Ok! Here Take This. What Is It? Its A Pokey Thing My Mommy always Uses it at dinner. Ok Lets Go! Stab! Stab! Mom and Dad: Hey Where Are Our Kids? All I Found Was These Bones And Skulls ………….Oh. <:(
Not really a fail, that way you get a Halloween movie for you and one for your kids…
shopped, no doubt.