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Trust the Midas touch!
lol nub, i was kinda hoping the car ran the dude over but meh good fail good fail
Well, it did drag him for a bit on the asphalt with a nice flop-roll at the end.
I think that was him moronically trying to stop the car by pulling on it, rather than jumping into the damn thing and hitting the brakes.
Fred Flintstone foot-stop fail!
Bravo Bio dude, bravo. *claps*
my thoughts exactly
This is a re-run. This is a re-run. Move on folks, nothing to see here.
It’s still kinda funny, but Darwin is pissed that he lived.
Darwin is pissed you ate tortoises, dick.
I guana tell you Dil’, your a top Gal.
Woot, I am also a marine biologist!
lol I know thats what I was just thinking.
Yeah what an idiot seriously just jump in the damn thing and stomp the brake!
You are looking for this fail (click name)
Oooo I knew it looked familiar. Think they’re cousins?
I think maybe their parents were cousins.
…or brother and sister.
*cough* which would make them cousins *cough*
Oh wait… no.. you mean they are brothers and their father and mother were brother and sister?
Yes. *pats fluffy on the head*
Someone hasn’t changed your water in awhile huh?
Oh crap! That’s my job! *quickly changes fluffy’s bowl*
Can you feed and water DrB while you’re at it? I might go out.
Actually, I think he prefers Shiraz.
Whatever, he’s getting Juicy Juice and a peanut butter and crack sandwich.
*hides spinach & riccotta cannelloni leftovers*
.
Oooo Crrrrunchy! peanut butter, nice!
.
*quietly tops up bowl with Juicy Juice*
*babysits Dr. B until the drugs leave his system*
“Plays Banjo”
Talking of running yourself over. . . . .
(This one is for K-K-K-Katy and Fluffy)
Brian Harvey of East 17 was once suspected of trying to commit suicide by running himself over. What had actually happened was he had opened the door on his car to be sick, when his foot hit the accelerator rather than the brake.
He crashed into another car, which caused him to fall out his car and run over himself, resulting in a longtrip to the hospital.
The reason for the sickness. . . . .consuming THREE GIANT BAKED POTATOES. He holds the potatoes responsible for the incident.
His comment afterwards “I haven’t had a jacket potato since. I could never eat them again.”
Respect.
There should be a law against potatoes.
They keep life interesting.
Especially if you are naked hanging up curtains.
Are you guys still watching my house??
Uhh, Dragon.. I think the left side of the curtains is a little lower than the right side.
Nothing a good surgeon can’t put right.
Or, a good cosmetologist . . .
Um… yes.
More like a butcher.
It all depends how much you’re prepared to pay, I suppose.
…or butch
*que p0rn music*
Someone call about some curtains.
*Rings bell*
Did you order a pizza?
*pants drop*
..followed by
*15 minutes girl on girl*
*15 minutes guy on girl”
*15 mintues guy on girl on girl*
Butch: “Your curtains are fixed”
End Credits.
That pie doesn’t look like a pizza to me.
I just want to know what it feels like.
Sheesh, 2th! You left out the entire dialogue! Here, lemme type it out:
Tiffany: Oooooooohhh!!!!
Brittany: Ohhhhhh yeahhhhh…
Butch: Uhhhhhh… baby….
*repeat as necessary*
Tiffany: I don’t normally have a potato there. . .
What’s with all the potatoes?
Clickie my name for the potato source.
Oh man.. I’m so jealous of you now. You are about to read the potato story for the first time and your life will change forever.
Short answer: fun
Long answer: lots and lots and lots and lots of fun.
I so prefer your answer Fluffy!
Arn’t you jealous of him/her? It’s like taking a kid to the beach or reading them Harry Potter for the first time. You know their eyes will widen when they see this wonder for the first time.
Oh, and *SQUEEZE!* So good to see you back!!!
A FRIGGING POTATO?????
Thank you. That was very enlightening.
*SQUEEZE*
*tips hat at Fluffy*
Seemed like the right time to come back.
You’re right, and I’m glad I waited to see their response
And who is Anpu, while I’m at it?
Anpu (or Anubis) is an Egyptian god that has the head of a jackal and a body of a man. He is the protector of the dead and their mummies and graves.
(Didn’t expect THAT kind of lesson on failblog, didja?)
Yeah, it’s TMI.
I asked the wrong question. Shoulda asked, “Why all the Anpu?”
Seriously, *yawn* at Anpu.
But not @ you, fluffster! I love fishies.
That question, “why all the Anpu?” is a very good one.
Actually, let me elaborate:
Capt. Awesome is obsessed with Anpu and Led Zeppelin. He’ll incorporate them in every *yawn* answer. Excuse me.
*ZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzanpuzzzzzZZZZZZZZZZZ*
I have this terrible feeling of deja vu.
Today on ‘It’s the Mind…’
O cara devia estar bêbado… kkkkkkkkkk
No estoy hablando espanol
You have habaneros?
You’ve been to a haberdashery?
Courtesy of Miami, quite recently actually.
If you want to look haberdashing, visit the haberdashery!
Where the hell???
We all want to look haberdashing.
ich habe das ding
Das hab’ich auch.
I’ ll Wrack Ihre Sache
no, keep him away from me, I don’t want to turn into gold
No worries.
first
hmmm… the word.. brake.. comes to mind
Ok, lets keep it clean this time, ok guys???
I think you’re on the wrong blog.
Obviously in here, that is merely a set-up line for hilarity to ensue.
If you scroll down, apparently we have attracted a vagina troll.
You dont have to point out vagina to me!
What if it is singing a song?
Erm…
*is now somewhat hesitant to scroll down*
Come Dragon, hold my hand, we’ll scroll down together.
Is it just me, or does “scroll down” sound like it has a rather erotic connotation…?
It’s ok, we don’t mind if you scroll down with each other.
Yeah. It’s not like the rest of us are going to feel awkward about that or anything.
*kicks a pebble, looks at shoe*
WTH that pebble do to you bub!! huh? HUH?
*puffs out chest*
Lack of p***y make you brave man!
Don’t be too sure about Bod, he’s been showing signs of ambivalence lately.
Check the other thread, boy. I’m getting plenty of p***y.
*puffs out chest too*
PAH!
(Look, Mookie! Look! How’s that for a straight!!)
Very convincing, honey. Um, uncrook your pinky, though.
Awww shucks
*kicks pebble and looks at shoe*
HEY! Who stole my damn shoes!
Damn.
There’s always something.
*wails, runs around, buries himself in Mookie’s breasts and sobs*
who d’ya THINK stole ‘em?
HUH?
(Better?)
Don’t cry, pooh. *takes hand* Let’s go find Mr. Cuddles and hit the gay bar.
I’m guessing it was Retaba again, fargen bastige!
A real gay bar? Ooooo!
Don’t eat the olives, though.
You can come too if you like Blue2th.
You’ll need your shoes, though.
In fact, you’ll only need your shoes. *winks*
Bod! He can’t walk around like that! *fashions ShamWow into a sarong for B2th. There, you look very nice.
Ok, but they don’t have laces in them, doctors orders.
Oh a ShamWow! , ummmm, you guys go ahead without me, I have a…ummm, something to…do.
But you can do it there.
They’ve got special rooms and everything.
Heck, they’ve got people who’ll do it for you!
-steps out of the shadows near Blue2thFairy- Truth be told, I just wanted your soles(souls). -drops the shoes and enters the shadows-
It’s useless, Bod, let’s go. We’ll be on Bleecker Street, B2th. You can catch up with us when you’re, uh, through.
Don’t wait up.
Ho Ho
Oh FFS! I leave this thread for an hour and you already turned it into girl on girl on Santa action!
Damn. I missed the gay bar field trip. Oh well, I can always go by myself.
*skips away*
Oh yeah… I’m gonna scroll down with you woman…
I don’t think you understand how gay that was. Or whatever, you’re nesting, I’m not here to judge. And there’s nothing wrong with that.
Ringing a serious bell; don’t think There’s Nothing Wrong with Love is it at all at all.
Hee…! Blue2th might have something to say about that.
Baby, don’t hurt me.
Is this the vagina troll that doesn’t let you enter the uterus? Like the troll that doesn’t let you cross the bridge? How would one go about getting rid of one? Not that I have one mind you…
You want to enter the uterus – I hope you’re an endoscopist?
Maybe she’s in the bardo.
Ah SO!
That’s just your IUD.
Think you might have nailed the little spermatozoa.
You guys are XX dirty, clean it up.
I was expecting to be handed an “n.” I knew there was something wrong with the post and I only realized what it was while driving to pick up my children.
…
Sorry. Don’t mean it AT ALL but could not resist the linguistic setup.
Ahh, Sadie. Ask me to dance, and I’ll tell you about the felching troll stalking me.
Forget Sadie! Let’s tango! Ba dum dum DUM…. (felching troll, do tell…)
*ugh, left for three weeks* You’re a good dancer, hottie.
*dips* Thanx!
That fence came out of nowhere!
And that other parked car! Just blind sided the poor guy.
Damn you and your fast fingers *shakes fist*
I type 80 wpm. Just try and stop me!
Hey, you should check this game out. Just put your hand down on the desk, and I’ll try to count your fingers as fast as I can. *pulls out knife*
I have ten fingers total. That’s enough counting. Now take that knife and go slice us up a nice Granny Smith apple for a snack, ok?
Ok. Can we have celery sticks too?
Sure, but can you break them so that the strings peel off with the base? I don’t like the strings.
Yeah, that’s easy. Now boning fish without a wunder boner will take me awhile.
You should call their toll-free number and request express shipping! You’ll have it in no time. And Mike Rowe may even deliver it to you personally. What a deal!
Nice! It’s only a few more months until fishing season. Wait till all the guys see my new wunder boner! They’ll be so impressed. I mean, I was good at boning before, but with the wunder boner I’ll be the envy of them all!
Your wife will love it!
Yeah, if I had a wife I bet she would. I would only want a wife that enjoys boning fish as much as I do.
So she’s a Scaly?
So, nobody watched V. *cries*
Too long ago …
Dillypetal, I’m not sure you existed when I watched V.
Wait, i think that liking fish and liking boning are mutually exclusive.
*shakes McFail’s fist*
How do you do?
*acts formal* I’m fine, and how are things with you?
Fine thanks.
Just trying to destroy the internet.
You need to get Christopher typing your comments faster under your name.
Christopher’s really only good for one thing and it ain’t typin’
Filing?
If that’s what you want to call it.
he’s good at putting things where they belong?
Uh….Um…..boy there are lots of ways to add on to that, but……*pushes it away with a 10ft stick* I think I will be over here.
Ahem.
*reaches up and snags name*
*snaps it in two*
*gives back first half*
uh uh. There is only one good thing to add on to that, and it’s POTATO!
*Speaking to Dragon writer* I figured everyone else was jumping on the dragon name I would toss my name in the hat too. *speaking to Fluffy* I just went to the grocery store, I have a 10lb bag of potatoes, some wesson oil, wax paper, 40ft roll of plastics, a feather duster, a plunger and some Advil, wanna come over and play Potato blaster with me?
*Goes back to plain old GladIwokeUp* Ah the glory of bein a dragon for a minute, make my own fires without matches or lighter, walk around naked all the time, eat women in public, coke my food just by breathing on it, sneeze on a cow and have instant 500lb of medium rare steak, that was great.
Hee…’tis a glorious thing, isn’t it? I was just funnin’ ya. The name isn’t mine alone, and I know that the folks I care about know who the real “Dragon” is!
Ah it’s alright, *whispers* I gave it all back but the tongue
Aww, giving the tongue’s the best bit.
Well, I certainly need a cold shower now. Thanks for that.
*grumble grumble*
Look who’s talking, Ms p-p-p-potato!
Just wanted to try out this name for size, but I think it makes my butt look big.
Or given that I’m dressed as a showgirl, it should be Mikey Drag-on.
You are all lovely, lovely dragons!
I shall leave dragonning to the experts I think.
I know what I am.
Oooo! Am I too late for the dragon party?
Better retarded than atemporal!
= late than never
Lay it off, Leopold.
Thrice suffices.
*tries out the name* *thinks it makes her sound like an eleven-year-old boy with masculinity issues*
Well, we know it ain’t attendance!
Here here.
Want a present?
Have a roll. With butter.
Bueller? Bueller??
Anyone? Anyone?
[Dave's not here.]
I can’t let you do that, Dave.
My mind is going. There is no question about it. I can feel it. I can feel it. I can feel it. I’m a..
DAISY DAISY GIVE ME YOUR ANSWER TRUE
I’M HALF CRAZY……
It won’t be a stylish marriage; I can’t afford shit.
Daisy, daisy
When the road’s dark we can dispise Pokeman fer sure
So, you like mudkips? How about Seaking?
Kids-vicarious. Don’t know sht personally.
Steelix ftw.
To be fair, he was indicating to turn so the other car thought it would be out the way.
At first I thought it would end with the gate. Then, the other security camera comes up. I thinks to myself, wow, lots of dumb drivers in this parking lot. What does this angle have in store?
Then, the yummy goodness of closure to our story!
Oh I know! We’ve had some really good cherry-on-top of fail-cake lately! The second shooting angle at the basketball fail… the second AWEYUO in the pen twirling fail.. The fail gods are smiling upon us, even if they do send a few too many traffic fails.
I don’t remember being on any cake…I must’ve been drugged!
The cake is a lie.
There is only druul.
The cake is truth, and the companion cube lives!
I’m making a note here: HUGE SUCCESS!
It’s hard to overstate my satisfaction.
We do what we must because we can.
On fait skon peut avec skon a.
For the good of all of us.
Except the ones who are dead…
Wtf is this “cake”? You’re all mental.
is that french?
So did that parked car!
I…..like……PARKED CARS AND I CANNOT LIE
*resisting earworm and memories of Prom @ 26ish*
YOU MOTHERFU*CKERS CAN’T DENY
in all honesty, your suppositions are correct.
I’m curious, tell me about this “anaconda”?
Well, for one, it don’t want none unless you got buns, hun.
omg where did you find that.
It’s my homeopathic personality type.
Oh sorry sorry.
That’s Lachesis.
It’s my destiny.
But……….Tell ‘em to shake it! (Shake it!) Shake it! (Shake it!)
Shake that healthy butt!
Baby got back!
Strange how the driver changed pants between hitting the gate and hitting the other car.
The pants are white both times.
You woulda thunk they’d be brown by the second hit.
Because of those long skid marks!
Tee hee! Oh, you’re good!
is it the same car??? and the same driver??
It’s like a stunt butt or stunt boobs, NMCH, the car didn’t want to expose all of itself on film.
Nope, unless the only thing he did when he tried to stop the car in the first place was turn the lights off and start indicating.
Maybe he thought that was enough?
When I start indicating, you better watch the hell out.
Indicative of hell of trouble!
Ah, here she threatens — but you should really see her in a performative mood. I’ve found it an absolute imperative.
Quintessential. I’m already convinced.
I! DOES!!!!!!!
Wait, is this a threat?!
Or a promise?
A demand?!
If demand increases supply …
I learned me some post-grad economics…
You missed the ’screw the money from the masses’ bit…
dude, you totally spoiled the set of categories typically used to indicate the syntactic relation of the clause in which the verb occurs to other clauses in the sentence, or the attitude of the speaker toward what he or she is saying, as certainty or uncertainty, wish or command, emphasis or hesitancy
SO THERE!
Nerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr :p
(and the thread)
Oops was just the poor lighting
Also, poor camera. And poor sound. I demand a refund!
nesting fail
roflmao!roflmao!roflmao!roflmao!
Climb into the car, and press the break. This does not take a genius to figure out.
That’s what makes the fail so much better. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but a good lot of these fails are from stupid people.
He clearly put the car in park and pressed the hand brake.
But the foot break just kept on running!
roflmao!
roflmao!
roflmao!
Oh, FFS. I don’t even know who I am anymore, Dave.
ROFLMAO
Pressing the break won’t do nothin’.
Now, pressing the brakes! You got something there!
Genius, LOL!
Should have used Stop-A.
sparc humor win?
No, it’s a crab-remover,
lucky awesome.
Vagina
I don’t believe you’ve heard of vaginas, enjoy your hand.
IF YOU WISH TO VIEW MATERIAL OF A SEXUAL NATURE CLICK ENTER
*feels very lowercase after that quote*
Vagina?
No thanks, never touch the stuff.
*roffle*
Vagina? Well, sure…I’d love some.
Oh, sorry. I thought you were making an offer.
No, s/he was singing the song “Vagina!” from the off-Broadway play “Diddler on the Roof.”
Vaginaaaaaaa, VAGINA! (bum baba bum bum bum) Vagina!
PoB!! I was just wondering tonight where you’d gotten to!
Echo?
Click name to find out more! (Notice – Adults only please!)
That is some nasty business. *goes to shower*
Remember to put some in a bottle for us.
Bottle??? Ftttt. You take the bottle…I’ll take the real thing, tiger
Yawn… It’s kinda early for that, Dr. B. What are you doing on this old fail, there’s fresh meat to be had… Follow me…
Ooops! On my first comment there I thought he was talking about your mirror! lol
I wonder what it tastes like.
Chic-kin
fish(wife)
Ladyfingers.
a healthy woman is as delicious as a good curry.
Mmm. Coconut milk and lime leaves and basil.
Don’t forget the anchovy extract, shrimp powder, galangal and (most importantly) the hottest fresh chilis you can acquire
*btw there is no such thing as purely vegetarian Thai food
(generally speaking)
It’s true. I went back to fish six months ago. Fish sauce is the secret to authentic pad thai. And I love bird chiles. *has a big bottle of powdered galangal in the kitchen*
*stomach growls*
What about me?
This is a stupid fail.
It’s actually a stupid win, because the stupidity won.
Seriously, thank you, izzy, this irritates me all the damn time. It’s ALWAYS opposite day where fail/win usage is concerned.
Well, if he wasn’t lazy enough to need an automatic, he’d not have that problem in the first place.
I don’t know if I’d call people that use automatics lazy. They could just be uncoordinated enough that they can’t figure out how to use a clutch properly. So much better to use a manual though, more focus and control over the vehicle.
What? Sorry, I was crossing three lanes while on my cell. OOoo I love this song! *texts*
Oooh, you forgot to put mascara on your left eye! *hands dilly the wand, pulls down visor* Can you turn that up? Where are we? *hands dilly the map* Hold my beer, wouldja, I’ve gotta light a butt! Wheeeeee!
Sorry, my gum fell under the seat and I had to look for it for five minutes. Was there a green light? LOL!!!
Hey, what’s the quickest way to the hospital? *CRASH*
Hospital?? Where’s Sephora???
RealDoll’s favorite shop, you could ask her.
Lars??
omg I couldn’t even finish that one. too painful, ouch!
exactly
but then that happens
Lessee,
double parked,
parked in a handicapped spot,
I find $50.
Cool! Where did you find it? You lucky duck.
i’ll take that $50 that was MY parking spot
I found $40 in a bank parking lot once.
I kept it
SixChildrenInAThirdWorldCountryWentHungryBecauseOfYou!
*has never kept money he’s found*
*has had full wallet returned twice*
I had an atm give me an extra $20 once, I guess it got stuck in the machine some how….I stood at my car debating whether or not to go tell the bank. In the end, I kept it. I thought, “this is a ONCE in a lifetime thing….) [cue the talking heads].
Same as it ever was.
Same as it ever was.
And you may ask yourself, Where does this highway go?
And you may ask yourself, Am I right? Am I amok?
And you may tell yourself, My god, my truck is stuck.
And you may find yourself on the ground by a large automobile.
And you may ask yourself-well…how did I get here?
Hey, look where my handbrake was!
Under the rocks and stones.
Shit, that water’s holding me down.
Where does that river go?
Fuzzy says the Gulf Stream is “a river in the ocean.” But the days have gone by since he told me that.
There is water at the bottom of the ocean
And when we stopping making sense,
it flows right through our hearts.
Into the blue again, since beginningless time.
Fuzzy, you’ll never ever stop making sense to me. Now take off that huge suit, love.
Sorry babe…oh god, what have I done?
Deity yoga, babe.
It’s all good.
It’s all as it is.
.
[pic related]
It’s not that much of a fail. I’m pretty sure that’s a gate, not a fence, and it doesn’t seem like there was much damage to the car. Still kinda funny though.
And obviously the gate didn’t work……. but little damage to the car…… you can tell this how?
Plenty of damage to the wall though.
i love how he tried to stop the car rolling rather than getting in and braking
I love when Peter locked himself inside his car ’cause the keys were on the ground outside.
I like when Jan went to the lezzie sleepover.
I liked how Awesome-O was programmed for love.
“I will use my super-human strength to stop this car rather than the foot brake…. no wait… holy craaap!”
E-brakes; the anti-fail
Hey TQ! Long time, no see. What’s the latest in your world?
AN IMPOSTOR APPEARS!
This is fake. There is a subtle cut right after the person sort of manages to contain the car.
Subtle? Are you referring to the camera change? …..
your definition of subtle = fail
lol
lol lol lol lol !!!
Perhaps, but the lights are off for the second clip. This is a fake.
are you retarted? it’s a different security camera
Ah, the return of “retarted”. Missed you, abstract. So, anyone in PA learn about art yet?
Aw man…am I going to have to tart myself again??
I would say you already have the sweet part down, but I’ll wait until I know what you mean. O_o
It still looks really suspect or I may just be giving the driver too much credit. This was either a fake or an utter fail on the drivers part.
Seriously, he stopped the vehicle, but still managed to ram another car hard enough to send it through a wall?
ya…it’s amazing what they can do with cgi these days
miniatures…
right….. that minature doll sure is life like!
Are you trying to tell me that Gumby isn’t real?
I’m Gumby, dammit!
and I’m Wookin Pa Nub
Wrong place, man.
WHO IS IT
no, it’s photoshopped, look at the shadows
I wouldn’t say it’s a fake…but it is kinda weird that after he seems to control the car on the second camera it starts going at a much higher speed.
You are probably thinking of a different person, haven’t commented on failblog before, didn’t know there was another user of the name.
Sorry for the mixup
I approve of your (re)naming convention.
I approve your avatar swapping convention.
I approve of the Geneva convention.
I approve of conventional wisdom.
I approve of convection ovens.
you approve, yet so often, your logic defies convention.
That knot is indeed endless.
And Tibetans had avatars long before there were computers.
… and I approve of computers. Better retarded than atemporal!
You’ll turn Luddite, give it time and space.
I’d be out of work in a timely fashion without one. But then I suppose I’d have plenty of headspace.
Well, that’s Valid.
Kind of nice that such an abacus was finally built, no?
A logic is, logic does.
Why thanks!
I went to a renaming convention once. Except it wasn’t really a convention, as there were only five other people there. And to say I went to it is a bit of a misnomer, as it took place in the house where I lived at the time.
I’m not thinking of a different person here. I just know a TQ on other message boards and figured it was you.
.
So, what’s the latest in your world?
FLYING CARS
ORGASMATRONS
THE ORB
*rub, rub, pass*
TIME
ORBITAL
(Pssst, fluffy, Little Fluffy Clouds…)
I always park my car that way! What are you people talking about?
Do you park your truck under a bridge as well? Also, how are you at twirling pens?
Oh, You should see him him with pens!
Brilliant!
Why did the other car lurch forward so far anyway, I wonder? Did that driver have a parking fail also.
I like your username, let’s team up.
I like your team, let’s username. DO IT
Punctuation fail!
Dammit. I had a punctuation fail. Dammit.
It’s okay. I no longer have a period and I don’t knock myself for punctuation fail.
Um….
*is at a complete and utter loss*
LMAO … !
Periodical full-stops aren’t bad though.
Quit stealing my spotlight!
*nabs spotlight and shines gleefully on self*
OH1 hi
*rests contentedly in shade*
Here, you can have it back.
*hands spotlight to medicatee*
Some asshole put a 500W bulb in it.
*applies aloe vera to burns*
thanks!
*turns off until appropriate use presents itself*
Such a hog! -stares from the shadows-
Boar with it.
erm, speak english ”period” means a regularly occuring space of time, and is only used to mean full-stop in american, learn to type silly-head
Dammit! Not first! >.<
umm…hunni? you never have been…not even once. so just give up, for all of our sakes.
I hated being first, all I could think of was a Terry Pratchett/Neil Gaiman joke and it was totally not clever in the context. Ah, shame, you are eternal.
You can be my first… (wink wink, nudge nudge)
So…you’re a a big, scary, terrifying…virgin?
(*boop!*)
Maybe the first 3 led to the last one, eh?
This is freaky, so I’m sad it’s relevant. Clicky if you like. Discuss.
Made in Japan, but shipped from China? Hmmm
Glad I’m working from home now, sheesh.
Oh my! Sorry, I forgot. NSFW! (Unless you work at my work, where nothing fazes anyone)
Ewww!
Who are these sick people?
And what’s a “Childhood accident (Hard object)?”
Frontal potato?
Hanging curtains naked would make more sense in that context.
Oh thank you Mookie – that gave me the biggest laugh today.
*big hugs*
I can go to bed now.
Night all.
Sweet dreams Bod.
*mwah*
hahaha.
I can just see my fiance on our wedding night!
“…uh, honey?”
Your gate belongs to the van
The van’s like a battering ram
A-Team FTW!
Car in Amusement Park?
Is this where someone says “Bumper cars?” and then you spring the trap?
me thinks its an animal trap, for the illusive virgin
Oh, the Teacups.
what the hell just happened?
The last thing that happened was your clicking “Add Comment.” hth!
Did you lose six minutes? Does your butt hurt? Do you have a neck implant? You should get this examined.
Ok, I know I’m very tired and a bit loopy, but…
“Does your butt hurt?” made me laugh until I cried. :p
I think it’s beautiful. The most sophisticated jokes have us tittering appreciatively but bring on a ‘Frontal potato’ or a ‘Does your butt hurt’ and we’re laughing until the tears come.
Kind of humbling, don’t you think?
*cleans Mt. Dew off screen after spewing it everywhere*
this idiot was lucky they didn’t get their leg run over. notice how at the end, when the ‘tard is ejected from the driver’s seat during the crash, his/her leg is actually under the van. had it just rolled a little farther, there would have been pain added to this moronic mix.
umm.. I’m pretty sure that was already painful >:)
This is Anpu punishing this guy for buying a car from Scientologists because Scientologists don’t believe in parking brakes….or brakes in general.
You tell Anpu if I don’t get my money by Monday I’m gonna tear him a new ass. Got it?
You’re thinking of the wrong Anpu. There’s twenty Anpus.
That’s fewer than half!
No, it’s less than half, not fewer than half. Anpu does not approve of your stupidity.
There is twenty levels of meaning to your statement, dear captain.
Hm, there was a response the failblog ated. Ah, wells.
Invisible Man reference win?
Claude Rains???
Deeper than I’ve ventured, but not deeper than I’d like to.
He is in the car from 0:20 to 0:23! How did he not hit the brake? Count out 3 full seconds. Thats a lot of time.
indeed, dude is a moron…..speaking of morons:
a big moron and a little morong were standing on a bridge. the wind gusted and the big moron fell off, but the little moron didn’t…..why is that?
Um…. the little moron had a lower center of gravity?
The big moron was suicidal?
The little moron pushed the big moron?
I dunno. Why?
(This may make ME a moron.)
LOL, because he was a little more on. ROFLMFAO!!
Hang on , I have a better one….There is a bus full of people travelling over San Francisco and no one gets off the bus throughoutthe journey. But when it gets to the other side there is not a single person left. How is thispossible?
wait, here’s a better one…There is a bus full of people travelling over San Francisco and no one gets off the bus throughoutthe journey. But when it gets to the other side there is not a single person left. How is thispossible?
Ever see The Langoliers? John Lithgow will answer your riddle.
Wait, what? Pod person win.
they’re all married? and on the right hand side of the bus? voting republican?
The little moron forgot how to fall off stuff. Duh.
no, he was a little more on…
lmfao!!!!!!!!!!!!
once you are outside the car, you can’t go back inside to brake… you must stop the car with your own brute force. How can you not know this rule?
haha well, i guess you are right.
onetwothreefourfivesixseveneight:ITypedThatInThreeSeconds
icanlietoo:ITypedThatIn0.00001Seconds(IncludingThisText)
*golf claps to distract, then kicks mr. spacebar in the face*
how about reaching in and turning OFF the car?!
what a champ! sheeshhh.
hello? turning it off wouldn’t stop the acrued momentum…think about it. Ever driven a car before?
Evar acrued befoar?? Hello???
Hello???? Mom???? Is that you???? Hello????
Engine braking, maybe? Heard of it? Driven a car YOURSELF?
Or you can just push the brake ya know, another option, stops it faster than engine/trans brake.
The pinic table got owned
Your avatar always leads to death.
And weight loss.
And IBS.
And, honestly, why go to the bother of getting an avatar when AYDS’ll do all that for you?
geesh that gate really did get destroyed poor gate..
how come this got taken off the homepage?
Because you smell.
Hey, does this smell like chl…
oroform…*zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz*
Already an old joke. And almost bedtime.
+2
And THAT, folks, is why we have driver’s training in order to get a license.
Didn’t help him much
In Soviet Russia, car drives YOU!
P.S First
I don’t know you.
I don’t know you either…wanna muffin?
Dude, you’ve changed. What happened to you.
Does anyone REALLY know the Muffin Man?
Nope its just me and my muffins
It really seems like he had the car stopped there for a moment..but i guess it was just the flip from one camera to the next that made me think that.
Yeah, that happens to me all the time when I watch tv. Those jump cuts are like wrinkles in time.
Madeleine L’Engle would say all you suck ass. BTW,
Don’t think she would have put it quite like that but …
sure
sheher characters would have braved the helmet’s side effects.The grammar and tone was corrected, but the blogmonster ate my last ten posts. But you’re right, and they would’ve. So would you.
Tashi delek khandroma.
The car is in the park, and it’s full of quarks, let’s imbark the land-mark that is the car in the park!
What a lark!
*embark
*mebark
Wuf! Wuf! *pants*
NO PANTS!!!
*begs*
Sit, Ubu, sit! Good dog.
Bark!
Imbark is a word!
1st I want to say you guys are crazy fast with the comments.
2nd This happened to a guy at our job, instead of forward the truck went in reverse. he broke his pelvis because he got his foot stuck underneath the brake.
3rd hahahha
No one seems concerned about the wall…
The wall can take care of itself.
It don’t need no edumucation!
It don’t need no thought comtrol.
A little smelf control wouldn’t hurt ya, though.
A little milf control wouldn’t hurt ya, though.
If walls could take care of themselves, the Berlin wall would still be up. (:
DON’T TALK ABOUT THE WALL!!!
Oh, I’m sure the police will be by to crime it. (I hope everybody remembered to pay their tax.)
So… why did the head/tail lights mysteriously go off?
Lame.
My guess: He thought everything will be cool when he turns the engine off..
Obviously he forgot about the momentum he already had.
That was the best. I think he might need to park in that Handicap spot for the rest of his life after that.
*Ah-Choo*
Using the brakes fail!
Aw, shoot. He didn’t press the stoppy thing.
Do you really think this hapless would-be driver has a trusty stopwatch, too?
*indulgently pets own beloved stoppy*
I’m just glad she used her turning signal!
I’M just glad she’s a transsexual.
Oh my gosh!
¡ɥsoƃ ʎɯ ɥO
bukkit … need … bukkit …
Here, puke in this champagne bucket. It’s classier.
That’s not a champage bucket. That’s grandma’s urn. Bummer.
Gramma’s DEAD?!?!?!
You didn’t get the “Surprise!” card with the kitties on the front?
pfft what a crappy gate.
Its a fat short haired fcuk of a woman!
French Connection UK? All my friends worked there. Oh PS they think you’re fat.
That vid is just awesome. The car just got blown up!! Recommend this vid to your friends everyone!!!!
OK.
Oh friends blown up car got everyone vid awesome recommend that!!
I just texted leik all my frenz lol!
bad trip bad trip bad trip bad trip
you’re never coming down.
some reason was just reminded of a dear-heart who really really wanted to make that gabber track. Not necessarily related.
Rotter.
Damn.
*damn damn damn damn damn damn damn* etc.
Ah, such is life.
Thanks for make me laughing
http://www.dorion55.com
JUMP IN AND BREAK YOU MORON!
well that would have been interesting jump into the car and then automatically break in two, hmmm wonder how that would work?
So tell me, WHY do you need a park gate like this one?
You just pass with the car and thats ok… the gate is made of paper! lol
Yay! at least he got out of the parking without paying… partial win?
I like the way he signals a right turn all the way – it’s like “careful on the right – i don’t drive this thing!”
People! That’s not a HE. It’s a woman. It’s standard woman mode of operation when in a car… (make sure it crashes)
*waits for the feminazis*
Wow it’s sad but I’ve actually done this before!! But I was quick enough to jump in the door and slam on the breaks before I hit anything. I had a nasty bruise on my thigh the next day, though.
Toyota owners at their finest.
A meals-on-wheels lady was killed trying to get back into her car when it started rolling a month or two ago in my apartment complex.
And use the break? Most cars you just put it in park (or in gear for a manual). You really don’t need to put the breaks on in a parking lot, at least not to keep it from rolling. It’s will save some wear and tear on your car if you do, and if you never use it it may freeze, but a car rolling across a parking lot is almost certainly because it’s in neutral.
Is it just me, or is it scary how many people don’t know that “brakes” are what you use in a car, not “breaks”?
The P doesn’t stand for Park. It stands for PWND.
Pull the ebreak dumb ass
1
was that a black woman driver? that’s a dangerous combo behind the wheel
Мог бы долго с вами спорить на эту тему
Oh my goodness.. poor guy, he looks so troubled
and youre bad to laugh at others’ misfortune!
Brake…it’s spelled, “B-R-A-K-E”.
I don’t understand how this happened. after it hit the first fence or whatever, his vehicle was slow and to a stop, then the next shot is him suddenly going really fast at that other parked vehicle….
Have fun explaining that one to your Insurance Company!
Hey,
I’m a producer for Most Daring Videos in Los Angeles. Do you happen to know who the source is for the video where the guy forgets to put his car in park and it rolls over him and hits another car? Thanks, Anthony. across@nashentertainment.com
how dam stupid and incompetant can u possibly be, dont u think when u finaly got in the car u might put it in park or somethin
Why have so many of the videos been removed due to terms of use vilations? Seriously, take the links off, they don’t work.
Thats a Opening the Door Win.
Gate opening WIN!
How did he get to that speed and crashed the car? Before the camera switches, he had completely stopped the car. It makes no sense to me.
Looked like it was going to fall down after that gate.
Well parked, abit on the line but it’ll do.
its a blonde ;D