No! You are supposed to say “Danke!”.
Now go and thank him properly in the language he chose.
Then you may choose the language we are going to use next.
In soviet Russia people were not allowed to juggle.. and there was no electricity… and their was no electric current…and they’re was no lamps… conclusion: it’s a FAKE!
Support Peta!
FIRST!
PWN is probably the most idiotic word ever invented!
In soviet Russia people were not allowed to juggle…and there was no electricity…and their was no electric current…and they’re was no lamps…ergo:
This Is a FAKE!
Support PETA!
FIRST!
PWN is probably the most idiotic word ever invented!
if you look closely when the pen is flying out, you see the screen doesnt match, correct me if im wrong, but this might just be fake, if you dont believe it, dont say shit about me, ignore it instead.
I had ECT — now I can have a seizure any time I want. But despite the attempts of Protestants to promote the idea of sex for pleasure, children continue to multiply everywhere.
Whatcha reckon he was trying to say? AWEYOU darned electric lamp. I’m switching back to my other lamp. The one which doesnt explode when it gets stabbed by a pen going at like a kazillion miles an hour.
Watch the clip as the pen actually hits the lamp and you will see a cut in the film. Also it appears as though the actor is possiablly pushing a button on the lamp which causes the little PYRO explosion.
neither nor! they’re “coolglasses”. the kind of crap that darkens your view (in this case a gradient from above to below), but does not filter anything.
Hm, haven’t tried that one but will remember to do so when I see it. However, I do sympathize with that sentiment after having had a Wedge Pale for lunch. I think it’s about time to get a move on that.
I’m so poor I’m drinking Carling Black Label. It’s like pee with alcohol added. Still beats Corona in my book, though. The book is called “Shit Beers”, btw.
Oh Sol.. get the facts straight:
He was a vicar and he was HANGING the curtains when he happened to trip and fall on that potato.. oh man.. typing the story just made me LMAO all over again!
*mixes Stoli with fresh lemonade and crushed blackberries over ice*
*shakes well and pours, puts on mood music*
Can I get another chance? I’ll treat you right, sweetbuns.
*Backs in pickup truck, unloads the hand dolley, unloads crate, wheels it into Mookies bedroom, uncrates vibrator extrodinair* Ok, come closer, gonna show you how this works, take a seat while I get this kick start mounted, it gets 65 miles to the gallon so its economical. *hands earplugs* *shouting so Mookie can hear* THE ONLY DRAW BACK IS YESY IT’S LOUD, YOU MAY HAVE TO GO TO THE DDENTIST TO GET FILLING REFITTED ALONG WITH ANY CROWNS! BUT I HAVE BEEN TOLD I WAS RIGHT ON TYHE MONEY WITH THE PLEASURE FACTOR. TRY IT, IF YOU LIKE, IT’S YOURS! *backs away to watch for a bit*
Sorry, Mookie, to have confused the issue. I wasn’t saying you were cranky at me ever. It’s just that you’re a woman, you know, cranky with a valid excuse.
Oh! Sorry. Yeah, now that makes sense.
And you’re welcome. Thought I’d share that little earworm/eyeworm. The best part is that it was done by two animation students, not even professionals.
1. Here is still here; therefore I cannot eulogize here. After eulogizing her, I was given a nonrequisite “e” which I tried to fold into a joke, but I accidenty my spelling correctly and ruined my chance. Pointing this out apparently provoked caused a small scuffle wherein a two-dimensional abstraction was cut and I cried. Then I received lovely and amusing advice on how to escape the conundrum and I appended my moniker appropriately.
2. The doubling of the appendage has to do with Japanese wemon and a Chinese lamp.
… the colors are a different story.
*Steps in front of large contraption and hooks up Sybian* Here Mookie! This is much more conventional, AND you plug it in for all the power you could ever need ((AND THEN SOME!))! I’ll be listening from down the block to see if you like it! *Whistles as he walks away* Another soon-to-be satisfied customer!
( ♪ And when she’s wet and ready
Then dremmel she shall play ♪ )
____
~ traditionally performed during those every time Pervert Alert coincides with Hanukkah Fail
There is a switch on that lamp, you know? It was on, so you switch it off. Problem solved. If that is too hard for you, you should consider grabbing the pen as it is, and get a Darwin award for it.
He would have been ok if he did any of the following
A. turned off the lamp. (preferable)
B. unplugged the lamp. (preferable)
C. touched only the pen to remove it.
D. touched only the lamp and shook the pen loose.
He managed do none of the above, making his arms and chest a part of the electronic circuit. This probably hurt quite a bit.
YOu’RE RIGHT! BUT APPARENTLY HE REVELS IN HIS FAIL FOR HE LAUGHS! Hm… *Hands deadleming a fishing rod, motorcycle and bug zapper* This should fix you right up, go win a Darwin Award! Then you can be proud for winning an award!
Honestly, I haven’t seen a fart joke here in five months and it’s like three in the last two days. Not a judgment, not aimed at you, just an olfactory spatial oddity, more like “huh.”
I agree, I have a trophy for her. Fluffy, you can have my potato.
*splorch*
*wipes potato with ShamWow*
Here is your “queen of the potato jokes” trophy! Taa-daa!
Yeah. American lamps don’t shock you when you *fuckin touch the electric contacts*! Allright then. Here’s one for you. Go on. throw a metal pen an the lamp, and then touch the socket…. Go on…
Ugh, right now I’m pretty busy researching issues pertaining to a collective agreement but I’ll have my assistant set up an appointment with you for tomorrow.
Don’t worry Mookie, if you want, you can stay here with me until your appointment tomorrow. Christopher, is there any way to get a restraining order until then?
So here is another reason why you shouldn’t play with pens and other office tools around electric equipment. Anyway, did the guy get shocked? I wanna know if this was a complete fail
It wasn’t obvious to you? The whole “AUauyooo!” at the end, the loud and incredibly bright pops, the involuntary muscle contractions leading to the quite audible “thump” on the floor as he threw himself backwards…
I still think BondFan has been sent off to military boarding school and his Mum is on here now. That would explain his naughtiness and the lack of his usual wit.
Listen, here’s the thing:
BFF – as he likes to be called, doncha know, is hitting puberty today. It’ll happen to all of us eventually. And it’s a scary, confusing time.
He’ll be better tomorrow.
*takes stethoscope from around neck*
Next.
This is fake — if you closely watch the part where he ‘accidentally’ flicks the pen into the lamp, you’ll see that there’s a subtle cut there. He clearly flicked the pen into the air and then staged the pen-in-lamp part.
I love that book. It sucks that they reprinted it in paperback with black font, though – you need the nice, big hardback with green and red font to get the full effect.
I watched it frame by frame, and there is no cut there. there only a little flash (from the bulb imploding) and then the light is getting darker (guess why). You can clearly see the pen flying straight into the bulb.
Your mom is fake, and so are you!
If this is some new kind of trolling, you FAILed.
Now stop taking those pills.
In Tom Sharpe’s book Indecent Exposure they used live ostriches to hide their explosives. The trick was to put the explosive into a condom, put some butter over the condom and ostrich will swallow it.
Of course, and unlike Ikaq scenario, Tom Sharpe books were meant to be humorous.
CrazyLoop is absolutely right. The bulb bursting isnt the fake part. Analyze the way the pen slips from his hand and the angle that the pen goes into the bulb. There is definitely a break in the video when it happens.
Well… u better have your eyes checked, cause there is a cut, and you can easily tell by looking at his flicking hand, not to mention the overall jump!
You fail at being cool… idiot
Yeah, I heard about that. What’s with the guys faking? What ever happened to the old ‘Sorry love, I’m just not that into you’? At least you know where you stand.
*mutters, shakes head, despairs of society in general*
Dis-crete:
1. apart or detached from others; separate; distinct: six discrete parts.
2. consisting of or characterized by distinct or individual parts; discontinuous.
On jonglers.ru, (the clip’s origin,) there are more juggling videos. One video shows a guy juggling shish-kabobs and accidentally hitting and impaling a pigeon with a kabob, he then proceeds to BBQ the pigeon. Another video shows a guy juggling bowling balls and hitting a child, knocking the child unconscious. Yet another video has a woman at a fancy restaurant juggling cell phones and landing one in a bowl of hot soup.
Actually, it is fake. The blow-up sound is at some milliseconds too late, the pen wouldn’t manage to go straight out so it could pierce a bulb and stick itself inside the light fixture, especially not when it is twirled; would bounce, not go through and finally, look carefully for the cut, at the moment the bulb exploses look at his hand, move about a cm up. It’s too clean to be real. Even the guy’s reaction is too perfect, it’s staged. Funny, but staged. And yeah he’s smart enough to juggle those, quick enough to react as soon as he sees the problem but imbecile enough to go get the pen anyway… nope doesn’t add up.
Yeah, I agree. There’s totally a cut. I can’t say that it was definitely faked or how he would have pulled off a fake, but there’s a cut that’s really distracting right before the bulb is broken.
I agree. On the first look it looks like a fail… But on the second and third look, is looks like a huge twirled fail-cake with a electrocuted fail-cherry on top of it.
On a more serious note: If you did not know it (or just had a deja-vu), this does not mean it is old to you. And it does not matter if other people know it already, except if you have no own opinion and are a spineless loser.
Oh well… I would not have to say that. A look at your picture would have told me all this already.
Why would a device to wash your car’s lights be naughty?
What happened to all the guys? *confused look*
Did they all run off to grab a towel and a glove?
Oh well, they must all have dirty head lights. * innocent face*
I’m ok, but I know what you’re thinking: Surreptitiously rubbing one’s crotch against nonconsenting women in crowded areas in order to achieve sexual arousal sounds like a walk in the park. But whenever I hear someone talking about how “simple” it must be to be a frotteur, I just have to laugh.
—
(The Onion, “It’s Not Easy Being a Frotteur”)
Ah, I get it! Cause, unlike building a deck or performing surgery, there are no instruction manuals on how to properly press your penis up against someone’s hip on a packed train.
That’s the cool thing with Russians. They tell you everything before they do it. “FUCK” and they stick it in there. This is where Boris and Natasha went wrong. They told Rocky and Bullwinkle everything they were going to do before they did it.
That’s exactly what I’m going to say when my lamp explodes – AWEYOU!
Gesundheit!
thank you
Not sopose to touch it! unplug it… yes, a true fail.
i just love darwin
i get a good crac out of that
you completely butchered that first sentence fail!
“supposed”!
hmmmm…. Fluffywuffy… *ponders*
hmmmm…. Fuzzywuzzy… *pandas*
hmmmmm… Fluffyfuzzy… *pampers*
You two are incontinent?
It’s all in the techtonics, baby.
* ♪ uh-tiss, uh-tiss ♪ *
We mix it up. *uh, tiss, uh, tiss*
Just ‘cuz your technics rock, rockstar.
It depends.
*Snicker.*
ahem!
No! You are supposed to say “Danke!”.
Now go and thank him properly in the language he chose.
Then you may choose the language we are going to use next.
Bitte schoen, bossy?
well i hope hes ok…
The sneezer? Weird nesting win, unless you catch viruses over the internet. Oh wait, shit…
welcome you are,
yoda im not
but together we can
AWEYOU the lamp hot
shocked through the finger
he yells and he jumps
to continue pen spinning
he’ll have to……..
dangit nothing fits there. suggestions?
*cue disco music*
.
“he’ll have to do da insulated bump”
IT’s fake
kinda like the last inch of your dick?
HAHAHAHA LOLWIN….am i saying ur name or am i just saying ur comment was lolwin?
In soviet Russia people were not allowed to juggle.. and there was no electricity… and their was no electric current…and they’re was no lamps… conclusion: it’s a FAKE!
Support Peta!
FIRST!
PWN is probably the most idiotic word ever invented!
In soviet Russia people were not allowed to juggle…and there was no electricity…and their was no electric current…and they’re was no lamps…ergo:
This Is a FAKE!
Support PETA!
FIRST!
PWN is probably the most idiotic word ever invented!
DOUBLE FAIL!
if you look closely when the pen is flying out, you see the screen doesnt match, correct me if im wrong, but this might just be fake, if you dont believe it, dont say shit about me, ignore it instead.
SHOCKING! Russian Behavior Modification for Gypsy Jugglers
I had RBMFGJ, it sucked. NOW they have a vaccine, little LATE, technology.
I had ECT — now I can have a seizure any time I want. But despite the attempts of Protestants to promote the idea of sex for pleasure, children continue to multiply everywhere.
“Every sperm is sacred!”
*kills self*
anh anh ahh — you can’t do that, there’s something sacred you!
_(’)_
* in you, that is
BEEEEEEEEEEGGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Pen trick win, The lamp explodes (a little fail), then the guys picks up the metal pen attached to the live electrical circuit.. grounding Fail.
but what about Naomi?
She joined the short circus.
She loves that chair.
I could watch this over and over and over.
LMMFAO!
i shall interpret “AWEYOU!” as “EVOLUTION WINS”
AWEYOU — BBBZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ *lamp shocks him*
AWEYOU!! BZZZZZZZZZTTTZTTZTTTTTT (lamp shocks him)
whew, after that first rip … what the hell did you eat for dinner?
EPIC OWNAGE
Not to mention that was 220v. It didn’t just hurt, it REALLY hurt.
I’ll take your word for it. Just don’t mention it again, mkay?
EPIC OWNAGE
Not to mention that was 220v, not 110v. It didn’t just hurt, it REALLY hurt.
Hurt the first time, too.
Maybe if he’d had some horseback riding lessons when he was younger, it wouldn’t have been painful at all.
Whatcha reckon he was trying to say? AWEYOU darned electric lamp. I’m switching back to my other lamp. The one which doesnt explode when it gets stabbed by a pen going at like a kazillion miles an hour.
lollolololololol roffffl
Its Fake…..really
Watch the clip as the pen actually hits the lamp and you will see a cut in the film. Also it appears as though the actor is possiablly pushing a button on the lamp which causes the little PYRO explosion.
Well done, but fake
you ALMOST destroyed my computer by posting that comment. Just took a sip of hot chocolate before reading it. Dam that was close!
At first I thought “but that’s a win, who can say they’ve stuck a pen into a light bulb like that?” …..20 seconds later…..FAIL.
ummmm unplug first?
best one yet!
Actually he says (first) “Blyad’!” (f*ck!) then “Yomoyo…” (jeez)…
LOL!!!!!!!!!!!! AYYOUYAI!!!!! LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!
Why was that guy wearing sunglasses indoors?
Maybe because they’re not sunglasses?
I think I may need need to adjust my screen.
No no, if you look closely, you will see his dad sitting naked on the couch behind him.
screen fail
no, they’re sunglasses…
the sunglasses are actually photoshopped in, cant you see the pixels
neither nor! they’re “coolglasses”. the kind of crap that darkens your view (in this case a gradient from above to below), but does not filter anything.
The sun always shines when you’re cool.
*hands fluffy a parasol*
*hands Mookie a paraboobs*
*hands Ry a paramecium*
*hands Mookie a paramedic*
*hands Ry a paratrooper*
*hands Mookie a paradise*
*hands Lou a paramour*
*hands Mookie a paradigm*
*hands fluffy a paracetamol*
*hands Mookie a paraglider*
*hands Ry a paradox*
*hands Mookie a paraphernalia*
*hands fluffy a parachute*
OH DEAR GOD SOMEONE MAIL ME SOME PARACETAMOL AND CODEINE
*hands dilettante a paragon instead*
*hands Dragonwriter a parallel universe*
*feels all y’all*, um, no wait,
*hands Mookie et al. a paraphilia*
WHO DO I HAVE TO BLOW OH MY GOD
and, *is attacked by paramilitary*
*hands dilly a paradigm*
*hands Mookie a parajodphurs*
*hands Neener a parallax* (averts eyes)
I DID NOT ASK FOR A PARADIGM YOU KNOW WHAT I NEED
*paraphrasing*
(already gave the paracetamol to Fluffy ^)
*hands dilly a paranormal state* (how many beverages have you had, girl?)
Hm, is it that obvious…7. But I’m just drinking myself out of crampy, don’t mind me.
*hands Mookie a yummy paratha*
*Gives Dilly a singing parakeet.*
Aw, dilly, is it the evil Aunt Flo? She’s here, too, the old bitch. *gives Marius a parapluie*
What goes up the chimney down, but can’t go down the chimney up?
*Gives Mookie a parabuntal hat*
umbrella*
*hands Mookie Dr. Kevorkian’s phone number*
because he knows the pen might fly right into his eye… great fail!
Did you not notice that bright light next to him?
His pen noticed it.
Yes, yes it did.
Always trust pens to be the lone observant one in the room during any internet video.
Pens are even mightier than observational skills.
Otherwise he’s blinded by his own brilliance.
*ba dum tish*
They were supposed to be safety goggles.
I’ve been on the ICHC-related sites way too long. I read this twice as goggies.
At least the goggies were safe.
Safety goggies?
Sounds ironic.
Safety Goggies? Are they like, Seeing-Eye Goggies that help you avoid harm?
The translation of what he’s saying is:
“MY EYES! THE GOGGLES DO NATHING!”
I assumed they were safety glasses. Perhaps these types of accidents are common for him.
So that the shards of glass from the lightbuld didn’t hurt him…
Oh snap. Its fake
why was that guy double posting?
Cause he touches himself at night.
…but he cooks a nice meal first, and lights some candles…so it’s okay.
no thats why all the dinosaurs died
They are safety goggles, he’d obviously thrown the pens before and didn’t want to put out his eye.
Probably trying to avoid putting his eye out without wearing even more dorky goggles…
Does anyone ever unplug electrical stuff before messing with it?
I usually plug my vibrator in before I mess with it. Otherwise it’s kinda boring.
You always start with the dirty comments, don’t you, Mookie?
Sheesh.
Oh, like you’re one to talk, BF. I’ll bet you can still taste the soap!
I only made three! And at least my first comment wasn’t something to do with sex or masturbation.
You pig! I was referring to my back massager. You are mired in filth, you are.
*begins massaging Mookie’s back with the vibrator* How does that feel Mookie?
That’s awesome, but where did you plug it in?
Um…well…don’t you know how people power alarm clocks with potatoes?…
No, but I can make a bomb out of cake mix and wire.
Oh really? Do tell! But first, flip over so I can start massaging the front
Hmm…. Mr. Cuddles, I’m starting to think this whole “gay” thing might be a clever trap for unwary cougars…
I’m just getting you ready for when Lou gets here…yea, that’s it!
*cues up macgyver theme*
lol! you know what mookie your my most favorite person in the whole world of blogging!
*joins Mookie in the gutter* I can see why she likes it here so much. It’s homie!
Yeah, and all my friends are here! Oh, look! A half-empty beer! *shares*
Why thank you! Would you like a piece of my potato?
Thanks, but I’m off carbs… Save it for Ry, she’ll eat anything.
I thought that was Mikey …
That’s Life…
I can’t, deny it …
You like big butts?
I thought that was Mikey …
I’m not entirely sure I’m happy with being blamed for everything.
Here…would you be happy with this week’s copy of New Scientist and this great coffee??
*passes*
When the books are away the egales will play. hehe ^o^ you know what I mean. this forum knows what I meanh
I’d never do anything as vulgar as eat a potato!
How dare you!
I am affronted!
i prefer to view the beer as half full…
That’s beer goggles for you.
… time to don that very device.
Right there with you, it’s almost 7, and my appetite was whetted by the Strongbow I had for lunch.
Hm, haven’t tried that one but will remember to do so when I see it. However, I do sympathize with that sentiment after having had a Wedge Pale for lunch. I think it’s about time to get a move on that.
I’m so poor I’m drinking Carling Black Label. It’s like pee with alcohol added. Still beats Corona in my book, though. The book is called “Shit Beers”, btw.
So I should not sample the Strongbow?
Care to share a Kwak?
Sure will! And no, Strongbow is cider, it’s delicious…oh!! you reminded me I have a peach lambic in the back of the fridge. You are in my good book.
Omg…Strongbow is my absolute favorite drink. I drank my way across England and Scotland with that stuff.
Hee…some funny stories came out of that trip!
Sweet. Will try Strongbow when I find it.
*tries to resist opening Cantillon in cupboard*
Good lord, man. There are, like, four of you, aren’t there?
Um…that’s, uh, not possible…*cough*
Admit it…you were also fuzzy_pickle just so you could bitch yourself out to fool everyone!
How…how could you tell….*cries*
You plug in your vibrator? Have you not heard of batteries?
Wow, you’re pretty progressive for a man of the cloth. I thought that was a no-no.
*tries, but probably fails at wittiness*
Perhaps he’s a “man of the ShamWow”?
My brother said he was using a shamwow today and I laughed…. he didn’t get it.
^ life in the Wow family
Must be awesome, but hard to function with no liquids in the house. And they have to wear headsets, even when sleeping. Troupers.
Troupers, or Germans. Germans make good stuff.
Kapitän SturmtruppenWow?
Folgen Sie mir, reizvollem kameramann? ^
Vast total Schachsinn, aber gibt’s Sinn. LOL!
gib’t Sinn aber.
need bukkit again.
und shon wieder, verdammte Scheiss:
80 ounce IPA = shit typing skillz
Multiple levels of Fail.
*as one karuna-filled Buddhist to another:*
Well, you know who else liked swastikas?
The Tibetan thangka artists, YOU NAZI!!
I can’t type so many lols!
lmao; off to bed. sweet dreams, dakini.
Sorry, what?
Wow, self-confidence fail… Just say it.
LOL.
ShamWow.
The “cloth” at the First Church of Atheism is latex and covered with lube and spermicide, so it’s all good.
I’m beginning to suspect you are not a real reverend…
Wasn’t that naked man ‘adjusting his kitchen curtains’ a man of the cloth too…? I’d say the whole church is pretty progressive.
Oh Sol.. get the facts straight:
He was a vicar and he was HANGING the curtains when he happened to trip and fall on that potato.. oh man.. typing the story just made me LMAO all over again!
*chases after fluffy’s ass* *catches it* *hands it back* You may need this.
Hey! There was a potato in there! Did you “forget” to give it back with my ass?
*hands back potato sheepishly* I got hungry. There’s only one bite missing.
Talk about getting your ass handed to you…
I’m not sure you’ve bothered to check which cloth he’s a man of, Mookie. Click his name.
Ah. So. (I’m a-lookin’ at you)
I think you may have failed to check which cloth he’s a man of, Mookie. Click his name.
Mercy, I hate the way this thing works…
Mookie’s just trying to be more environmentally friendly, do you have any idea how many batteries she’d go through.
Don’t forget about rechargeable batteries! WHile one set is low, just recharge the other set, duh.
You’re way too practical for this place. Who let you in?
I did. I used the door.
Stupid fail proof door.
I see what you did there.
I did what you see there! (I’ve been waiting to use that…)
Ew, Neener, clean it up! *hands over the ShamWow*
Glad I gave you the opportunity…
There’s a door?
Oops…
That explains why I was the only one smashing in a window to get in here.
Kool-Aid Man?
PISH POSH! I SAW YOU COME IN THROUGH THE BACK ENTRANCE!
Oh shit, Posh is here?!
massive blast of fire in 3, 2, 1, BLAM!
http://failblog.org/2008/08/28/revolving-door-fail/
I would have thought Mookie’s vibrator was powered by a 9.9 horse power Mercury outboard motor.
You’ve got the wrong idea, kiddo.
Really. Mookie has tried to go green. She tried one of those solar powered vibrators but they kept arresting her for indecent exposure.
That’s what the report said! I heard they kept coming back because of her arresting, decent posure.
I thought she used a jackhammer.
*is now afraid of norm and Sammy* Haven’t you guys ever heard of “less is more?”
We don’t need vocals
We don’t need guitars
We don’t need little umbrellas on our cocktails
Hi, I’m Jack. Ready to get hammered?
Got a hammer? Cuz I would like to nail… uhh… Gawd, that is the worse line ever.
*hands “Jack” the Stoli* This is the only kind of hammered I’m getting with you, Rough Stuff.
*mixes Stoli with fresh lemonade and crushed blackberries over ice*
*shakes well and pours, puts on mood music*
Can I get another chance? I’ll treat you right, sweetbuns.
Ooh…yum.
*holds out glass hopefully*
Shake to the left,
shake to the right.
Cha-cha-cha!
Pour-pour-pour.
Wouldn’t it be more appropriate to have a 6.9 horsepower motor…?
It’s currently being used to power her kitchen table.
Problem is, that the vibrations cause too many waves in the swamp.
*um, barfs? Is not sure*
Uhhh… clickie my name for the fail I was referring to. I think that attaching a vibrator to the table would cause it to vibrate…
Ahhhh. I was all over that fail, but the goddamn nesting here…
Maybe it’s powered by nine horses in a hamster wheel.
NORM!!!!!!!
>.0
… ow!
No it was originally powered by plutonium, but she recently upgraded to the Mr. Fusion that runs on garbage…
yeah, nevermind the damage to the power grid
Yeah, I need one of those. The ones with the batteries just aren’t worth the effort- the batteries run low too soon.
You’re doing it wrong.
Yeah. 220… 221, whatever it takes.
*Backs in pickup truck, unloads the hand dolley, unloads crate, wheels it into Mookies bedroom, uncrates vibrator extrodinair* Ok, come closer, gonna show you how this works, take a seat while I get this kick start mounted, it gets 65 miles to the gallon so its economical. *hands earplugs* *shouting so Mookie can hear* THE ONLY DRAW BACK IS YESY IT’S LOUD, YOU MAY HAVE TO GO TO THE DDENTIST TO GET FILLING REFITTED ALONG WITH ANY CROWNS! BUT I HAVE BEEN TOLD I WAS RIGHT ON TYHE MONEY WITH THE PLEASURE FACTOR. TRY IT, IF YOU LIKE, IT’S YOURS! *backs away to watch for a bit*
Oh look kids! Mookie’s new “Pillow Fluffer” has arrived!
Let’s leave her alone now. She’ll be less cranky after she fluffs a few pillows.
She is a very unusual person, but I would never define her as cranky.
*wonders if hot ass is a definition per se*
She’s been cranky, trust me… ask her… nicely
QT-Pie, I never meant to be cranky to you! You must have misunderstood – joking isn’t being mean!
I’m never mean, unless someone goes after one of my dear, darling FB buddies. Then I’m a ferocious mama cougar!
Sorry, Mookie, to have confused the issue. I wasn’t saying you were cranky at me ever. It’s just that you’re a woman, you know, cranky with a valid excuse.
PS: new tiny little picture of me
Psst: On a different account.
??? yeah, *whispers* I used a gmail account this time, is that ok?
*whispers* you’re still pointing to the fleshlight
Psst: URLs have nothing to do with the picture or account…
On that note, clicky for an animation on having too much coffee.
… and, but of course; I was just concerned for a moment that you may have had an impostor.
Oh hi spork. ^ was to Amber.
Meant only email account a few blocks up.
And I lmao @ the café vid; thanks
Oh! Sorry. Yeah, now that makes sense.
And you’re welcome. Thought I’d share that little earworm/eyeworm. The best part is that it was done by two animation students, not even professionals.
I immediately rushed to the kitchen and made espresso.
And I’m feeling like another one already.
So what’s with the two account, Medicatee/Medicate/Medicat?
1. Here is still here; therefore I cannot eulogize here. After eulogizing her, I was given a nonrequisite “e” which I tried to fold into a joke, but I accidenty my spelling correctly and ruined my chance. Pointing this out apparently provoked caused a small scuffle wherein a two-dimensional abstraction was cut and I cried. Then I received lovely and amusing advice on how to escape the conundrum and I appended my moniker appropriately.
2. The doubling of the appendage has to do with Japanese wemon and a Chinese lamp.
… the colors are a different story.
caused
bukkit, please
Fluffy: The medicate-to-medicatee transformation happened on this very fail. Click my name for the thread.
Breaking that for the moment – on my laptop at a brewer; don’t want to publicly have extra Es I need to unload. Will resume at a later time
If only I had an extra “y” … then I could be at a brewery.
wtf who am I at? Don’t know but his/her broadband is lagging, actually.
this is not my beautiful “y”
Once in a lifetime. Thanks.
Oooohhh.. good earworm… and you may find yourself in another part of the world
Oh god, look where my hand was? Letting the days go by.
This is why I love you, Lou. *smooooooch*
*blushes*
*grabs sweet, GENTLE Lou’s hand and runs away*
You can fit yours into a pick-up truck? Are you kidding me? My ass could eat that thing for breakfast!
Yep. Definitely not a reverend.
*Lugs in Sybian* It’s quieter and works much better! Try it! I’ll listen from the down the block to see if you like it!
*Steps in front of large contraption and hooks up Sybian* Here Mookie! This is much more conventional, AND you plug it in for all the power you could ever need ((AND THEN SOME!))! I’ll be listening from down the block to see if you like it! *Whistles as he walks away* Another soon-to-be satisfied customer!
Vibrators are not supposed to plug in -or have the word “DeWalt” written on any part of them. Then again, you strike me as the adventurous sort.
I <3 my dremmel tool.
^ had a very happy hannukkah
( ♪ dremmel, dremmel, dremmel ♪ )
( ♪ I made it out of hot pink silicone ♪ )
( ♪ And when she’s wet and ready
Then dremmel she shall play ♪ )
____
~ traditionally performed during those every time Pervert Alert coincides with Hanukkah Fail
*ah, just the thought of it makes me accidentally those every time*
remember the time you accidenty’d the.
There is a switch on that lamp, you know? It was on, so you switch it off. Problem solved. If that is too hard for you, you should consider grabbing the pen as it is, and get a Darwin award for it.
For an idiotic death and wasting a perfectly good life before it learning silly pen tricks.
No more yankee the wankee, the Donger need food!
Long Duck Dong
Very clever dinner. Appetizing food fit neatly into interesting round pie.
You can have the bottom bunk – I’ll sleep on the couch.
Does he fart? Did it blow you away?
Dunno. My nose is still in shock from B2th yesterday.
Did he win a Darwin award?
nah, you can hear him moaning in the background at the end of the video, so he didn’t die.
Well, he’s just going to have to try harder next time, now, isn’t he?
Can’t try much harder than that. He already decided to hold onto the lamp as well, so all the fun stuff wouldn’t be missing his heart.
After this video he will.
Honorable mention maybe … I think he survived.
I hate his kinds! They talks funny! *smiley*
I hope so. For someone that dumb, he needs an award. Or a sign.
*whistles*
Where’s Bill Engval when you need him?
no but he should get an honorable mention at the very least.
How’s that for quick fingers, Mookie?
Meh, Lou’s are quicker.
Ok. Now I’m really scared.
Genuinely.
I should probably explain:
The eye, Mookie. The eye.
*feels Frodo’s pain*
That’s my left eye… the right one is even scarier. Muaaaahahahaha!
I see the cougar, but I saw the eye last night.
*not getting it*
That’s odd. It should still be the eye… clear your browser cache?
And why do you keep changing color????
Work on / work off.
I still see the cougar too.
Oh there you are! Thanks for the tip
*shrieks*
*evaporates*
What would be really scary was if that was your right eye
I’d like to meet them…
Haha, This one is a genius ! The end is priceless
He would have been ok if he did any of the following
A. turned off the lamp. (preferable)
B. unplugged the lamp. (preferable)
C. touched only the pen to remove it.
D. touched only the lamp and shook the pen loose.
He managed do none of the above, making his arms and chest a part of the electronic circuit. This probably hurt quite a bit.
E. Hurled a shoe to the lamp.
F. Hurled a potato to the lamp.
G. Hurled a potato to the pen (preferable).
H. Ate delicious chocolate-covered strawberries, had a bottle of wine, and took a nice long bath with no electrical equipment. (Most preferable)
I. Never learned to twirl pens in the first place.
J. Went to yoga, had a sandwich, and contemplated his navel.
K. Was not homozygous for the dreaded recessive dork gene.
L. Lived in another century when pens and/or lamps were not invented yet.
FIRST lol i fail!
You should be ashamed of yourself.
Seriously. Loli is always a fail, he’s a pervert.
YOu’RE RIGHT! BUT APPARENTLY HE REVELS IN HIS FAIL FOR HE LAUGHS! Hm… *Hands deadleming a fishing rod, motorcycle and bug zapper* This should fix you right up, go win a Darwin Award! Then you can be proud for winning an award!
yes, becouse i was first!
agreed. *looks for missing falchion* where is that thing???
Jesus…
You win! Your prize: a shiny new pen! Take it from the lamp over there…
Terrible…just…terrible.
*Shakes head dissaprovingly*
you should try what this guy did
Bouyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Was that a Jim Cramer triple-buy Booyah or a smug ESPN asswipe commentator Booyah?
OFC he holds onto the grounded metal part before trying to remove the pen.
But he could have atleast unplugged/switched it off also.
Furst againz!
Aaaaaaannnd…fail.
LOL.
Think before pulling pens out of lamps!
Can I say first?
Only if you want to get back-handed.
And tazed.
Don’t taze them, bro!!!
Oh, wait, they said first?
Nevermind, taze them.
Oooh, now there’s a thought!
*grins*
Taze me! Taze me!
It was almost an accidental win until he touched it.
That’s what the priest said.
He should have tried to touch it without touching it.
Fully
lol such an epic doublefail
double fail!
Double kill!
one human, one lamp, what’s the deal?
Jeez, what an idjut. I can smell the burn from here.
*tosses lamp-safe juggling balls*
bzzztttt
You might want to ask someone’s permission to stand by them until that clears away.
Honestly, I haven’t seen a fart joke here in five months and it’s like three in the last two days. Not a judgment, not aimed at you, just an olfactory spatial oddity, more like “huh.”
I’ve never seen a potato joke here up until the vicar fail, and now I make them ALL THE TIME. I’m not judging myself, even tho I DO get annoying.
fluffy, you are never annoying!
I agree, I have a trophy for her. Fluffy, you can have my potato.
*splorch*
*wipes potato with ShamWow*
Here is your “queen of the potato jokes” trophy! Taa-daa!
Fluffy, you are probably the least annoying person on this blog.
Except for the Admiral. Yeah.
*hug*
I’ve never been annoyed by Fluffy.
It’s always a good time for a potato.
By the way. . . .
*SQUEEZE*
*dances the Mashed Potato into the distance*
It was 2th’s hit line (yesterday?). For sure there are several on this fail alone … Some memes, however, fade fast I’m sure.
Olfactory spatial oddity
Ground control, we have a fart joke. Someone needs a protein pill
I did lag on the protein, today.
Better fare tomorrow.
the final scream is hilarious!
I agree. I got an electrifying lol out of that.
Buzzantine humor.
Geek orthodox incapacity.
Metaphysical amplitude.
I’m so glad this is all connecting.
Completing the circuit is always enlightening.
Sadly, no, Johnny Five is still alive.
Wholly crap.
This is a fail and a win at the same time… =P
wail? or a fin? or a wil? or a fain?
I take “whale fin will faint”.
I feign a wail.
I came in a pail.
I maim in a jail.
Did he call you the next day?
Shoulda come in a bukkit. They’re much cuddlier.
Shoulda come in a ShamWow. Sperm can live on them for a month.
i came in a whale
Oh… got owned. Poor guy.
Let me guess – the lamp was made in China?
Yeah. American lamps don’t shock you when you *fuckin touch the electric contacts*! Allright then. Here’s one for you. Go on. throw a metal pen an the lamp, and then touch the socket…. Go on…
Wow, I think I was just the victim of an assault. Huh.
*back-hands BAReFOOt across the face* *consoles Mookie* it’s ok, we’ll press charges.
Where’s McFail, I need to hire her… *hides with Mr. Cuddles*
Ugh, right now I’m pretty busy researching issues pertaining to a collective agreement but I’ll have my assistant set up an appointment with you for tomorrow.
*Pencils Mookie in for a nooner*
Don’t worry Mookie, if you want, you can stay here with me until your appointment tomorrow. Christopher, is there any way to get a restraining order until then?
Christopher, nice of you to show up to work.
Yikes! Chris, you can hide in the gutter with me and Mr. Cuddles until McFail cools down…
There’s room right here *pats on lap*
*gives mr. cuddles a warning look*
You are one tough boss, McFail!
Don McFaileone.
Machine Gun Mcfailly
There is no such thing as American lamps. We import them from everywhere else. Be nicer, Mookie just worded that wrong.
It looked like Russian electricity though. I’m not too sure a Chinese lamp will work with Russian electricity.
So… in Sov3t Russ1a… lamp lights YOU? *hangs head in shame*
KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN !!!!
Did you work hard to become a racist jackass, or was it just kinda like tripping over your own feet?
So here is another reason why you shouldn’t play with pens and other office tools around electric equipment. Anyway, did the guy get shocked? I wanna know if this was a complete fail
It wasn’t obvious to you? The whole “AUauyooo!” at the end, the loud and incredibly bright pops, the involuntary muscle contractions leading to the quite audible “thump” on the floor as he threw himself backwards…
that seem quite normal considering moshmellow’s line of work
That was Russian swearing at the end by the way.
…AUauyooo-ken?
o_O
That was shocking, hah ha ha
so anyway
Captain Planet hes a hero!
FIRE!
*a-HEM* *wedges in an EARTH before FIRE*
WIND!
WATER!
(Aww man! I wasn’t 100% sure of the order! Crap! >_O)
WATER!
…With our powers combined, it is…STEAM!
Damn my slow innenets…I’ll go with EARTH!
…Didn’t see the EARTH! above… Fine….heart… *grumble*
Hey…at least you get the monkey!
Ok that was downright spooky…
I’m psycho…I mean pyschic
Lol Suchi.
Lol, Suchi.
Ah! it said I already said it befor eI said it the first time! The computer’s psychihc….or I double-clicked by accident, lol
At least I’m reusing.
“Remember kids: Reduce, Reuse, and Recycle!”
People don’t talk with you so much huh? *Gently pats on JJmblue7 sholuder
*swaps u & l and throws up an extra * *
You left out the ’s as well.
This sounds like a cooking program:
And remember, don’t be stingy on the ‘’s. Mix well and stir with &.
Hey at least you get the monkey!
Just not fast enough I’m afraid Cheeky.
Next time, mr. cuddles… *shakes fist* NEXT TIME!
promise?
*blushes*
You guys just blew my mind.
Tsk! I wanted to melt faces…*kicks a can*
In Russia lights light you up!
In Soviet Russia, the light switches you off.
Not only have you just repeated an annoying phrase, you typed it out incorrectly. You get tazed for that.
You’re awfully crabby today, BF. Have a cookie.
In Soviet Russia, cookies have YOU!
I still think BondFan has been sent off to military boarding school and his Mum is on here now. That would explain his naughtiness and the lack of his usual wit.
Or his pen got stuck in the lamp and he tried to pull it out.
May be it wasn’t his PEN that got stuck, you know these modern day kids will experiment with nearly anything.
Listen, here’s the thing:
BFF – as he likes to be called, doncha know, is hitting puberty today. It’ll happen to all of us eventually. And it’s a scary, confusing time.
He’ll be better tomorrow.
*takes stethoscope from around neck*
Next.
TODAY! ??
*rummages around for a glove & towel to make BFF a special Birthday Boy gift*
My 15th is 6 days away!
*awaits*
Happy Birthday!!!!!! *hugs* *hands BF a balloon*
*draws funny face on balloon, laughs childishly*
*hands BF a
book for childrenkid regular beerDrawing Fun kit**hands BF a superman backpack*
Who’s BF? My name is Yosarian!
Oh, I thought you were his roommate.
I’m sorry.
Crabapple? They’re good.
Here’s a medal for BFF. Those bombs killed some fine fish for our BBQ..
Ha! You see! You see!
*throws stethoscope up in the air, dances a little*
Is that one of those new internet stethoscopes? So cool!!
GIMME!!!
Oh, and happy birthday.
*catches stethoscope*
wonder how many trolls i could strangle with this… hmmm
*starts experiments*
Some one yell First! so i have some test subjects!!
*gives you a present that can only be opened after 6 days*
Hope it’s not food. Or a puppy.
You open puppies?!?!
Best not to go there, fluffy.
Snort!
You are not my mother…you are a Snort!
*Puts Dragon back up in Dragon nest.*
Hee!
*just got a mental picture of an adorable baby Dragon-chick*
Hehe…”Are you my mother?”. My squids loved that book, thanks for the reminder
Eh? Taze ME or give him a lamp and a pen that would be easier and far better :O
Dork
Spork
Hork! *looks around for bukkit, can’t find it, spits in ShamWow*
hark, a spark
Did that give you a lark?
This is fake — if you closely watch the part where he ‘accidentally’ flicks the pen into the lamp, you’ll see that there’s a subtle cut there. He clearly flicked the pen into the air and then staged the pen-in-lamp part.
You’re no fun anymore!
♪ Sometimes it hurts so badly I must cry out “AWEYOU!” ♪
Atreyyyyyyyyyyyyyuuuuuuuuuu!!
I love that book. It sucks that they reprinted it in paperback with black font, though – you need the nice, big hardback with green and red font to get the full effect.
and it like never ends
I know, right? it like never ends
Falcor was totally fake though, you guys. Photoshopped right into your imaginations. Total cerebral pixilation. I feel sorry for you, really.
You know what? I bet it, like, never ends!
it like never ends
I watched it frame by frame, and there is no cut there. there only a little flash (from the bulb imploding) and then the light is getting darker (guess why). You can clearly see the pen flying straight into the bulb.
Your mom is fake, and so are you!
If this is some new kind of trolling, you FAILed.
Now stop taking those pills.
Ok BAReFOOt…now take a deep breath and step away from the nasty troll. That’s it…good BAReFOOt.
Can we throw goats at it instead?
OF COURSE! Don’t forget a grenade every once in a while for good measure.
Well, see, they’re inside the goats.
Now I see what Fluffy means…I AM too practical.
Never doubt Fluffy…she knows what she’s talking about
Hell yeah I do!
just use either a battleaxe, a falchion, or a decent warhammer
Have you been to Iraq recently? Rumor has it that they use dead donkeys to hide their explosives.
In Tom Sharpe’s book Indecent Exposure they used live ostriches to hide their explosives. The trick was to put the explosive into a condom, put some butter over the condom and ostrich will swallow it.
Of course, and unlike Ikaq scenario, Tom Sharpe books were meant to be humorous.
Ummm that wouldnt work unless it was a goat with a grenade or ……… no way I fail? *shock* And not the grab lamp and pen kind of shock either >_<
Actually, the problem is he needs to *resume* taking his pills.
Or take more until he is no more, lots more.
There’s no fake. You can watch the POOF from the bulb and shards of bulb glass slide across the desk a little just as pen breaks it.
CrazyLoop is absolutely right. The bulb bursting isnt the fake part. Analyze the way the pen slips from his hand and the angle that the pen goes into the bulb. There is definitely a break in the video when it happens.
Well… u better have your eyes checked, cause there is a cut, and you can easily tell by looking at his flicking hand, not to mention the overall jump!
You fail at being cool… idiot
I’ve been in the faking business for over 20 years and this clearly is real.
Here I was thinking it was only the girls who faked it.
McFail, I love you, baby, so much!
Guys fake it too, but we’re much more subtle and discrete about it.
Yeah, I heard about that. What’s with the guys faking? What ever happened to the old ‘Sorry love, I’m just not that into you’? At least you know where you stand.
*mutters, shakes head, despairs of society in general*
*is feeling kind of serious today – what’s up with that?*
*needs to eat, perhaps*
*goes to eat*
*blushes*
Dis-crete:
1. apart or detached from others; separate; distinct: six discrete parts.
2. consisting of or characterized by distinct or individual parts; discontinuous.
You fake it in separate parts?
*cries in separate parts*
A Separate Pease?
Usually 3 parts (harmony, ya know)
On jonglers.ru, (the clip’s origin,) there are more juggling videos. One video shows a guy juggling shish-kabobs and accidentally hitting and impaling a pigeon with a kabob, he then proceeds to BBQ the pigeon. Another video shows a guy juggling bowling balls and hitting a child, knocking the child unconscious. Yet another video has a woman at a fancy restaurant juggling cell phones and landing one in a bowl of hot soup.
Can you make me a Venn diagram about that?
when jugglers hit jugulars you get jocosity
and when jocasta hits oedipus you get antigone
The family that plays together, stays together.
How about if they play dead?
The family that dies together, lies together.
Actually, it is fake. The blow-up sound is at some milliseconds too late, the pen wouldn’t manage to go straight out so it could pierce a bulb and stick itself inside the light fixture, especially not when it is twirled; would bounce, not go through and finally, look carefully for the cut, at the moment the bulb exploses look at his hand, move about a cm up. It’s too clean to be real. Even the guy’s reaction is too perfect, it’s staged. Funny, but staged. And yeah he’s smart enough to juggle those, quick enough to react as soon as he sees the problem but imbecile enough to go get the pen anyway… nope doesn’t add up.
Yeah, I agree. There’s totally a cut. I can’t say that it was definitely faked or how he would have pulled off a fake, but there’s a cut that’s really distracting right before the bulb is broken.
Just to be clear, the fail here is that this guy must have spent years learning to twirl pens.
Oh, and he also got fried.
But mainly…he…twirls…pens.
I agree. On the first look it looks like a fail… But on the second and third look, is looks like a huge twirled fail-cake with a electrocuted fail-cherry on top of it.
Remember when he got fried?
*pees pants laughing*
That’s not a fail, that’s awesome.
Did you watch it to the very end?
Yes. It was awesome!
Pretty sure this video is a few years old.
FAIL, submitting really old stuff.
And so are you!
FAIL, being really old stuff.
On a more serious note: If you did not know it (or just had a deja-vu), this does not mean it is old to you. And it does not matter if other people know it already, except if you have no own opinion and are a spineless loser.
Oh well… I would not have to say that. A look at your picture would have told me all this already.
Oooo! Oooo, let me try?
Ken, you’re so cute! I’m cute too! Want me? Click my link!
Naughty Amber. That was nice.
I like it when he flips the glove over the towl.
Why would a device to wash your car’s lights be naughty?
What happened to all the guys? *confused look*
Did they all run off to grab a towel and a glove?
Oh well, they must all have dirty head lights. * innocent face*
looks like Amber’s on her soapbox
(and her avatar’s wearing the derby)
and this comment is one we’ve never seen
Ooooh, new comment! Lemmi see, lemmi see! *shoves fuzz outtatheway*
Hey! No shoving! Fuzzy, did the mean lady hurt you?
McFail’s not mean, she’s an attorney.
I know, just messing with ya
There’s a difference?
Neener, there is no need to be insulting. Some of us attorneys are quite gentle-mannered.
I’m ok, but I know what you’re thinking: Surreptitiously rubbing one’s crotch against nonconsenting women in crowded areas in order to achieve sexual arousal sounds like a walk in the park. But whenever I hear someone talking about how “simple” it must be to be a frotteur, I just have to laugh.
—
(The Onion, “It’s Not Easy Being a Frotteur”)
Ah, I get it! Cause, unlike building a deck or performing surgery, there are no instruction manuals on how to properly press your penis up against someone’s hip on a packed train.
Really? Have you googled it? I wouldn’t be surprised if there are manuals out there.
It takes a surprising amount of practice and a fair share of embarrassing failures in front of large groups of people to really get it right.
And? Most of the people didn’t saw it anytime, I think. For example me
Well said.
Well sawed.
Me example sawed didn’t people most think?
And grow up to be an inanimate object?
I’m sorry, dilettante, only little boys can.
Its the Japanese Gibberish that makes this one so funny, AYAYAAYA
That’s not Japanese Gibberish. Go ahead and stick your finger in a live light socket and see how many of your muscles involuntarily contract.
And, the awesomely hot wemon.
Another extra e! The wemon were only awsomely hot
Doh!
Hee!
language identification fail, that’s definitely not Japanese.
Yeah, not Japanese. Sounds more like Romanian or other closely related language.
Sounds like German to me…
You spelled Greek wrong.
You spelled Guamish wrong.
That’s russian. He says: “F#ck!” and then “It’s stuck in there”. I know that because I’m russian too
Two phrases that combined usually lead to a potato.
I think the potato comes first…
That’s the cool thing with Russians. They tell you everything before they do it. “FUCK” and they stick it in there. This is where Boris and Natasha went wrong. They told Rocky and Bullwinkle everything they were going to do before they did it.
I think you need a bigger hat.
I’ve got a hat story.. No wait, did that. I only have one hat story.
What came first? The potato or the vicar?
*head asplodez*
i guess thats one way to try and make vodka
I distill it from lead paint and dead bees.
So maybe conjunctivitis wasn’t to blame, eh dilly? *sings* “About a maid, I’ll sing a song, sing rickety-tickety-tin…”
Who told you?! *hides cyanide, rocks, stew, and matches*