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I would have liked such books as a child too!
Go go go
Well, when I was a kid most of my sexual education come through books I was not supposed to read at that age.
But honestly those books in the picture look more like crap than like anything worth reading.
Like crap? Maybe…I can’t make out the position in the third from the left…
It is a classy: “blind the voyeur with a flashlight”.
Amorphous creations?
Romance novel meets Lovecraft?
Un-nameable sex with creatures beyond description?
If you were clever, you could have referenced the previous fail about tentacle sex. I hope you’re proud of yourself. Now give me back that drawing.
*slap*
No Mikey, when you refer to Lovecraft, your phrase should at least contain the words “eerie” and “unspeakable”.
Unspeakable sex with eerie creatures beyond discription in a vista of unholy abominations.
I think we should try setting up a Cthulhu-porn fanfic site. There’s bound to be a market for it somewhere.
Hang on. Czuhc – Cthulhu. . .
*backs off slowly*
Keep your tentacles away.
Do you copied that of the cover of the porn movie you were watching below on the thread?
*Did you copy
Bukkit please
*Hands twelve buckets with tentacles.*
*is waiting for testicles pun*
*bukkits
*twelfvhe
*handes
*fur
*tosses Lou an extra “f”*
*elbows McFail aside* If anyone is going to f Lou, it will be me!
Btw, the adjectives are interchangeable.
Eerie sex with unholy creatures beyond discription in an unspeakable vista of abominations.
Pff, being Lovecraft is easy.
I’m sorry, I know it’s completely non-sec, but I can’t read your comments without thinking in my head “my hovercraft is full of eels”.
Well that explains the smell.
Is this an ad for the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster? (Link in name))
I would think all failblog posters have been touched by his noodly appendage!
Eldritch. Unspeakable sex with eldritch creatures.
nah not amorphous
nah not amour lush
You rang?
The books are shiny because they’re wipe clean. You know messy children can be.
*inserts how*
I’m on form today.
*inserts wow*
I’m on corne today.
*insert how ?*
I’m on porn today.
*inserts sow*
Stop hogging all the funny comments.
*perverts it now*
Blogs Mikey some runny contentments.
*inserts cow*
Man, that hurt!
*notices one of her avatars has gone missing*
*sets up camera to film cow extraction* Alright boys, we need 50 gallons of KY, a 20ft log chain, a tow motor annnnnnd, oh yeah, lots of plastic and disposable biohazard suits, this is gonna get messy!
Hey, if you find a potato in there, I want it back.
I thought that was k-k-katy’s, btw, where is she??? OMG the potato was k-k-katy? We are gonna need a respirator and an EMT on standby, i’m going in!
Whoa calm down… it’s a community potato, and we take turns.
Pass, pass, pass . . .
Ok, ok. We wwill just extract the cow then you and I can go off in the corner and play hot potato while its still your turn.
We’re sorry Kenny we replaced your heart with a potato you have 4 seconds to live.
They grow up so fast *sniffle*
Lol. The worker at that shop must’ve been fired.
I think the shop worker had stacked as ‘reading age’ rather than classification.
Although the pages are easy to remove, they don’t have the redeeming feature fo being soft, string and absorbent… and the ink comes off on your bum…
So you’re saying this was shopped?
Certainly IN a shop
AND: it’s never too early to know about “Her Secret Treasure”
Too early and the exposure could be lethal
…but good to the last bite, all the same.
DrB, we are working on a cure for your vamprism, but please resist biting
people during sex i’m getting too much complaints from fat whores with no nipples.
I’m pretty happy with my vampyrism. If they’re all you’ve found I think you need to get out more. Weirdo.
I need a cure for my priapism.
Lay back and think of Amber.
Lay back and think of Dilly….’s answer (clicky above)
teehee
or, hey!
one or the other.
I’m thinkin’ ‘teehee’
.
I’m thinkin’ threehee in the hay.
I’m not scared yet
*opens a treatment clinic* The doctor is IN!
Meh, It is only placebo what you are offering. After an hour the ailment is back. I wonder if this is an strategy to get more money of your patients.
*makes reservations for 3 sessions of placebo*
*pouts* I have to wait an HOUR!
I thought it was wait 20 minutes before swimming after eating.
I am sure I can manage to find a way to entertain you in the wait, while reducing the overall time
Need a fluffer?
The more the merrier!
Oh, are you Mookie’s new medical assistant?
lol
Not to mention bodice-ripping or heaving bosoms.
*heaves a bosom at badcat* Catch!
Intercepted! YAY!!!!!!!1!!!
Mookie. It’s still to soon for massive-melon-mashing jokes, and you know it, evil woman.
*twitches*
^o
*slaps a nipple on a bottle of shiraz* Here, get your blood alcohol level up. It should help with that twitch.
Ohhhh mummma.
FIRST!!!! xD
thx to all ma fans
fail
If you keep coming first no one will want to go out with you.
It did take a while for him to come so maybe it won’t be so bad.
Didn’t you see “thanks to all my fans”? He’s a performance artist that works in tandem with a few others. They compete to see who can come first. The winner gets more porn videos.
4th!! my 1st 4th
You and Micahel should team up.
I’m sure they do in one of the books.
Amorous Liaisons, Chapter 5. Right after Greg deflowers Michael.
Michael: it was my first time!!
Greg: bah, you are only my first 4th time
Greg was so cold to Michael, it broke my heart.
They fix things up later in Chapter 11.
The reconciliation scene was so hot the book was nominated for the Nobel Prize in Erotic Literature.
No-bell? He was a eunuch?
That was low.
Nobel’s wife was cheating on him with a mathemetician, allegedly, and that’s why there’s no Nobel Prize in math. So not a eunuch, but a cuckold.
And he invented dynamite. Keep in mind I learned all this at Quizzo.
Well, to be fair to Greg, it must’ve been quite a shock finding that potato in there.
They were experimenting with new ways of mashing potatoes. They were a bit too creamy for my liking though. And their cookery show got cancelled.
How about their crockery show?
They weren’t dishy enough presenters, so that got cancelled too.
Shame. Should have used more pot.
Good idea. Sign, sign, pass…
Nice. Home from dinner now.
*sign, sign, pass*
“As Rosemary leaned forward, Paxton caught a glimpse of her nakedness glowing in the mist of her chastity. His heart rippled with desire yet he knew this lust could go on no further…”
Mommy, the book grandma gave me is weird…
Honey, it was soon after your grandma gave me this very book when I was young that you were born…
If soon is less than nine months, grandma was late
What do you expect from someone who comes in a jar?
A better taste.
good things come in small packages… was it a big jar?
Not as big as Ryannon’s jar.
Mmmmm, spreadable goodness! Goes great on toast!
I hear they have a non-fat replacement for that these days.
Consistent blow prices.
two dollar sucky sucky?
*leans back and relaxes*
Watch out. This happened to me once and I woke up in a bathtub minus a kidney.
When I was at a really (really) low point once, I went out trying to place myself in that situation. I got myself paralytic in the dive’iest neighbourhood I could find. I met some beautiful people, worst luck. They gave me yummy breakfast, and I went to work the next day.
That wasn’t a kidney, that was a potato, go ahead and admit it.
Consistent love-making.
good thing im not a light reader
Good thing you’re not a tight feeder ^
Good thing you’re not a right winger
*Wonders how she/he knew*
Good thing you’re not a trite singer
Good thing you’re not a blight bringer.
Good thing you’re not a fight swinger
Today’s lesson was brought to you by the letter “T” and the letter “A”.
♪ Look I’m standing naked before you… ♪
*plays ring toss*
It’s chilly, Mookie. If love isnt’ forever,
and it’s not the weather?…
Somebody please,
hand me my leather!
Thank you My Love, I was about to give up on that ref! Mwah!
Sorry, DrB, I had gone back to sleep for a bit!
Mwah! Hello…
*has to go for a couple of hours*
That sounds smelly and painful.
It was fragrant and delicious
But then, I like nice tucker.
I could scream as loud as your last one, DrB.
But you can’t claim innocence…
(and nor would I want you to)
*catches!*
You’re a special girl…I’ve never had someone do that with hula hoops…
You should see what I can do with bowling pins…. but first, drink some more Shiraz…
That’s what I’m working on for the next couple of hours!
*slips out for some (late) dinner*
*practices pushing out*
“See Jack shag
Harder, Jack. Harder.”
Wow, Mikey, I feel like I need the ShamWow…
That would be a good special offer.
-free ShamWow with every book purchased-
It’d be madness to use it on one’s willy. Madness…
We’re never gonna survive, unless we get a little crazy.
THANKS, Mikey. Needed that in my head all day.
You know, children are having sex younger than before; you hear of “children having children?” You may have seen a pregnant preteen at YOUR middle school once, have you?
Man, the economy’s crashing; society’s next.
Society is no comfort to one not sociable.
Community is no comfort to one not common.
Solidarity is no comfort to one who is gaseous.
Humanity is no comfort to the humorless.
Importancy is no comfort to the impotent.
Bating is no comfort to the bated.
Those are surely… educational.
I can’t see what’s wrong.
The writing. That’s what’s wrong.
No one reads them. They just look at the pictures.
That explains all the ripped pages from under your bed…
Lack of ShamWow supplies explains those pages under Mookie’s bed.
The fact that children just look at the pictures explains that no Playboy is left on the shelf.
The only pictures are the ones on the cover. And in your mind.
“Good to the Last Bite?” He wouldn’t do THAT when we went out…
twinky anyone?
That’s probably where the 20% off went.
Maybe because your secret treasure isn’t so secret.
True, and exposure to it could be lethal.
Amen, brother. Let’s go carpe some diem!!!
Making-children’s books WIN
Fun with Dick ‘n Jane?
or fun with dick IN jane
Unless it’s Jane’s dick.
oh I like that idea!
See spots. Run.
Sees that Spot has the runs.
Come, Dick
Come and see.
Come, come.
Come and see.
Come and see spot.
“One Two Three!” said Jane. “Three new dicks for my birthday. Happy Birthday to me!”
Three peckers on the cheek for you!
Children need ‘amorous liasons.’
I love them so much!
OMG! I hear the sound of thunderous footsteps in the back ground. (turns around) OMG! its a stampede of children! RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
See Dick. See Jane.
See Jane play with Dick.
See Dick get excited because he get’s to play with Jane’s kitty.
Jane also show’s Dick her’s and kitty’s new friend Spot.
Oh see how well Kitty and Spot get along!
Uh oh, Spot is hiding from Dick.
Dick will play with Kitty until he can find Spot.
Dick found Spot! Spot had been hiding!
Oh see how proud Dick is because he found spot.
Dick is sleepy now, he will take a nap.
Jane isn’t very tired, she will play with Kitty and Spot while Dick is asleep.
Yeah, Wegmans rules!
Thank god I am not the only one who recognized it from Wegmans! Course I do work there… lol… Wasnt my store tho! I swear!
I realized where it was too. Haha. I work for Wegmans too, but I wouldn’t have any idea if that was my store or not.
ROTFL, that is priceless! Loved it!
Jess
http://www.privacy.de.tc
*facepalm*
can’t be any worse than what they see on HBO..
Why do all romance novels have the exact same man and woman in nearly the same pose. Is there only one romance novel artist worldwide? If so he must be a millionare and have the easiest job ever.
I was just thinking that… the prob is that they churn out so many of these (Mills & Boon proudly claim about one a week, or one a day, something insane between those limits), that whoever thinks up new and exciting scenes to show on the covers must have run fresh out of ideas – or just got bored – many, many years ago and just started painting the same stock moderately-attractive, average weight and height WASP couple (or WASP woman, dusky mid-east/oriental man) in vaguely different poses, hair colour/styles, clothes and backgrounds instead. When you’ve got that many to pile through, may as well make the composition easy on yourself.
Does make it difficult to tell them apart though doesn’t it. I suppose they’re the modern equivalent of the old pulp novel. Buy it cheap, read it, throw it.
Anpu does not approve the use of such books for children. You don’t give these books to children. You give them Playboys. Duh.
These are definitely books about how to get children.
By judging the position of the people on the cover… they are about to get kids realll soon.
I personally am a fan of the consistently low prices. Much better than Wal-Mart’s ALWAYS low prices.
ShamWow! cloths wash, dry, and polish any surface. They are like a towel, chamois, and sponge all in one–except they’re extremely absorbent and can be used over and over. ShamWow! towels are machine washable and bleachable, will not scratch surfaces, and will last for more than 10 years!
8 ShamWow towels for only $19.95 and $7.95 shipping and handling.
When you order the 8 ShamWow cloths through this site, we can offer you the ShamWow Mop for 50% off.
The ShamWow Mop normally sells for $20 but, with your order today, you are qualified to receive the ShamWow Mop for only $10 and $7.95 shipping and handling. (ShamWow Mop sold only with ShamWow towels)
ShamWow Mop has the same super absorbent material as the ShamWow towels! The ShamWow Mop does not drip and your hands will never have to touch a dirty mop head or touch the water because all you do is turn and twist the ShamWow Mop handle. The ShamWow Mop head comes off easily, it’s machine washable, bleachable and comes with a 5 year warranty.
You are also qualified to receive ShamWow Shutter Cleaner for 50% off! Cleaning shutters is time consuming. ShamWow Shutter Cleaner sells for $20, but with your order today, it’s only $10 and $7.95 shipping and handling.
ShamWow Shutter Cleaner is a handheld device with three ShamWow microfiber-covered arms. These protruding microfiber arms slide into the spaces between the blinds. Press the lever at the bottom of the device and the arms will grip the blinds then with one swoop you’ll be able to clean the dirt and dust.
It’s also great for air conditioner vents, fans, railings, and light fixtures. The microfiber is removable, machine washable and bleachable, plus it also comes with an extra microfiber sleeve and has a 5 year warranty.
Also, with your order we offer the ShamWow Buffing Ball for 50% off and FREE shipping!
The ShamWow Ball sells for $30, but with your order today, it’s only $15.00, and FREE shipping!(ShamWow Ball sold only with ShamWow towels)
It’s great for polishing and waxing vehicles, furniture, household, and hard to reach areas like spoke and mag wheels, antiques, shutters, faucets and much more.
It attaches to any drill and will remove scuffs, oxidation, tarnish, brake dust, and corrosion on all metals and painted surfaces. It comes with a 5 year warranty and is Machine Washable.
Don’t forget to bring a towel-Towelie
YAY for Wegmans!
werd
Children making book win?
where’s the fail? it’s just elaborated sex-ed.
I have a lot of book like this but not for children.
I’m sorry to screw it up for you guys but this image is photoshopped, look how different the resolution seems in the part where it says 20% off.
Either that, or someone switched a shelf-talker. Not difficult to do, but a pain in the neck for the employees. Faked photo.
WEGMANS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yeah, this is definitely Wegmans (I used to work at one). Though with Wegmans, the sign for the product is ABOVE it, but most people look below (like in this picture). It’s a funny “out of context” thing, but the romance novels shouldn’t be near the kid’s books anyway.
CALL ME 0423905666
PORN ROCKS
200th comment
WELL I SEE WHY THEY’RE 20 PERCENT OFF
I could see the expression on a kids face when his dad gives him that XD ROFLMAOFTW
goddammit borders. i ordered these for like… all of my elementary school.
more like photo shop fail..