Nope. Just a simple B cup here. During pregnancy I went all the way up to a C cup. Woo hoo.
.
But the right push-up bra might let me do those tube shots.
YIKES!!! Because I won’t be on-line when he is, tell him he’s in my thoughts, and that I’m wishing him all the best!! He’s certainly handling better than I EVER could.
Uh, don’t know where you are from but here in the US we have restrictions on cruel and unusual punishment. And I believe, girl, that your resolution crosses the line.
Early 80’s? It lasted that long? I remember this stuff from somewhere around the mid-1970’s. Caramel-candy-like cubes, supposed to be an appetite suppressant, as I recall. Elderly ad indeed! I’m amazed that someone actually found a copy in some dusty old vault somewhere.
I live in the vicinity of the smokeys (WNC). An Asian tourist came into my work and asked, “Where can I find The Great Smokey Mountain?”
… I fell in love with the situation.
Yeah, I remember those… If I recall correctly, they were called AIDS originally in the 70s, then changed to AYDS to try and differentiate when the name was associated with the illness… then they just went away.
The problem was they tried to sell it globally and in some countries AIDS was well know as causing severe weight loss to the point of death. The ads sounded like they were promoting eugenics (racial ‘purification’ through destructive methods).
Actually, they were Ayds in the ’70s. They changed the name to Diet Ayds when sales tanked because of the name association. My mom used them, to no avail.
They didn’t. They were popular before AIDS became known, and once it did, they refused to change their name, even though their sales plummeted. They went out of business because of it.
I think Dilly is on to something. Maybe, bear with me guys, the vicar has bad eyesight and thought he was using AYDS when he accidentally used that potato. He wasn’t playing sex games and honestly, who hangs curtains naked?
Thank You Admirable Admiral, but I didn’t hear any alarms go off.
*looks at monitors and blinky lights* All OK here.
Ryannon, I am NOT “a disgusting filthy whore watching pirated p0rn all day” That stuff is worthless, (to me)! I just cruise any web cams I can find and see what I can see. If I’m lucky I might find something cool like the name link
Genuine story: as I was going to the supermarket this afternoon I passed a ten-year-old girl telling her mother “My friend Emily wants to come on our house”.
Did you know Hokusai was into tentacle porn, Retaba? (Hokusai is the famous Japanese artist who did The Great Wave off Kanagawa, the woodblock print with Mt. Fuji in the background — clickie TMI Service’s name to see the tentacle porn print.) The following is excerpted from Wikipedia:
Tentacle rape or shokushu goukan (触手強姦) is a concept found in some hentai, where various tentacled creatures (usually fictional monsters) rape or otherwise penetrate women, or, less commonly, men.
Hentai (変態 or へんたい) is a Japanese word that, in the West, is used when referring to sexually explicit or pornographic comics and animation, particularly Japanese anime, manga and computer games. It is a kanji compound of 変 (meaning “change” “weird” or “strange”) and 態 (meaning “attitude” or “appearance”). The term is used as a shortened form of the phrase 変態性欲 (hentai seiyoku), or “sexual perversion”.
.
Tentacled creatures appeared in Japanese erotica long before animated pornography, however; among the most famous of the early instances (and perhaps the first) is a Hokusai woodcut called The Dream of the Fisherman’s Wife, depicting a woman sexually entwined with a pair of octopi. This woodcut arose in the Edo period in Japan when Shinto was making a resurgence; the resulting animism and a more playful attitude to sexuality combined in Hokusai’s piece.
Exactly! This commercial reminded me of South Park. But they meant “Aides”. Because the guy who had Aides (2 guys: exercise guy and a diet guy) has lost a lot of weight. He was misunderstood because he wanted everybody to have aides. He wanted to give aides to the children!
When everything was sorted out eveyone laughed saying “AIDS is now funny”
The entire Ayds ads were pulled shortly after the fact that the ‘HUNKA HUNKA BURNIN’ pillow talkin’ Rock Hudson was broadcast that he had the AIDS brand reducing ‘candy’ living with him, who did NOT transmit the CANDY to him, Rock was fooling around! OH Woe was Rock! And down for the count, what, around the mid ’80’s, right?
Wow – what a great comment.
And yes it was 1985. I remember because I was on vacation with my parents and the Rock Hudson thing was all over the gossip mags.
Had to look up the year though.
Well, Asinus, remember that blood transfusion you had in the 80s? It’s a damn shame you’ve been missing out on anal all these years, too. Education fail.
The Troll has many forms. You must know them all. You must tell the Troll from his disguise and root him out from the hidden places. Trust no-one. Trust not even yourself. It is better to die in vain than to live in abomination. The zealous martyr is praised for his valour; the craven and the unready are justly abhorred.
- The First Book of Indoctrinations
A little something to help you, BondFan4518
I am thrilled with the quality of the shoe and the service from Zappos. My delivery was upgraded and I received the purchase in 1 business day. And it was FREE!
haha tooooo funny, I used to chew them chocolate bits, and when the bad AIDS came out, I wondered what this company was going to do. It was way way back in the 70’s and maybe early 80’s. You guys are also tooooo funny.
Do you remember Feenamint? Wasn’t that gum for constipation? I remember my brothers chewed some “chicklets” that happened to be Feenamint or some such thing. They were on the toilet for days.
My mom took those. They look like little chocolates. My grandfather would always sneak them because he was senile and thought they tasted good. I think they are just a laxative, not a big deal diet drug.
I remember these. They were out decades before AIDS was a known disease. I really don’t see how it could be a “fail” because it wasn’t a fail at the time. It should be a “nostalgic win”. Just my opinion. (This is my first comment ever on here. Please don’t hurt me.)
For the ‘what’ time? I’ve seen it sooo many times, Steve McQueen dies of cancer shortly after colon ‘cleansing’ with coffee. He should have used it to douse the flames!
But back then, Anpu had a pathetically weak 5 megaton bomb. This time, he has a 50 megaton bomb. And Xenuland isn’t a dude, it’s the country that Scientologists come from.
It may be funny now, but i don’t see how it’s a fail. They have been selling AYDS way before they coined the word AIDS.
Just like this guy I know in his 80’s. His name is Gay and he’s from England. Back when his parents named him, that word meant happy. But unfortunately the 12-years-olds on the same street didn’t know any better.
I don’t know what all your problems are.
This comercial is from around the early 70’s before AIDs was an issue.
This is a dietary aid similar to Dexatrim.
My grandmother used them to help control her impulses for sweets,
she was severly diabetic. If this helped her, I imagine it also helped a lot of other people with weight control. Anorexia starves your brain and bulimia erodes your esophagus. I’d rather use AYDS and eat healthier. You are ALL idiots.
AIDS IS GODS PUNISHMENT AGAINT THE UNHOLY. THE GAYS, AND DRUGGIES, AND THE PROSTITUES WILL FEEL GODS WRATH AT THE GATES OF HEAVEN, AND HE CASTS THEM INTO THE FIREY PIT OF HELL TO BURN FOR ALL ETERTINTY.
THE ONLY WAY TO THE FATHER IS BY THE SON. EMBRACE JESUS CHRIST AS YOUR SAVIOR OR GODS VENGENCE WILL BE UPON YOU!!!!!
I’m always baffled by these. I mean, Hitler believed in Jesus. He’ll be in heaven while the millions and millions of Jews and gays he murdered will go to hell.
Not to burst your bubble or anything, but didn’t Jesus hang out with the prostitutes and other sinners? I could swear it’s in the Bible somewhere.
Oh, and how very christian of you.
For some reason, this made an impression on me.
.
From the ST:TNG episode “Up the Long Ladder”
.
RIKER
What do you mean?
.
BRENNA
Do you not like girls?
.
RIKER
Of course I like… Oh… is there a technique to this foot washing?
.
Brenna approaches him. Unhooks her skirt. It puddles about her feet, and she steps out of it wearing a pretty petticoat.
.
BRENNA
You generally start low… and work your way up.
.
Riker reaches up pulls the pins from her long red hair. It cascades over her shoulders.
.
RIKER
I think I can handle that.
.
They are in each other’s arms now.
.
BRENNA
I was hoping you might.
Hee! That program needs an adjustment!
An féidir liom cabhru leat?
*removes the wet things*
Now to that hair…
*gets very close and slowly draws out pins*
Poor man, without a Visa how will he ever buy anything?
He doesn’t love me a really, really, really, lot does he?
If so, I’ll be kinda be afraid of what he’d tell me to do.
That seems kind of extreme to me. I’ll stick with bulimia.
Well, it doesn’t seem to have steered you wrong so far. Go bulimia!
Anorexia worked for me!
I have reverse anorexia. I look in the mirror and think I’m still a size 2.
Do you also use your breasts as a drink holder?
Nope. Just a simple B cup here. During pregnancy I went all the way up to a C cup. Woo hoo.
.
But the right push-up bra might let me do those tube shots.
Like this? (link in name)
Wow, that kinda turned me on, and I’m not even a lezzie. Except for Ryannon, I can’t resist her sweet thang.
Kinda makes me wanna live up to my name.
Dude, you’re my hero for that link. A blog about getting smashed! That’s AWESOME!
wonder what it stands for….
I stand for equality for everyone, peas and goodswill twards man, same sex marriages and more sex for those of us that aren’t married.
Hear, Hear… wait… Here, Here!!!
oh if i was 10 years older…
She wouldn’t want you if you were 10 years older. She likes ‘em young enough to break ‘em.
GO GATORS!
Yeah, nobody over 29, please. It’s the “Logan’s Run” philosophy of dating.
Carousel. Renew! Renew!
Eep! I’m running out of time.
*waves to mookie* I’m here…
Did you notice the video below that pic? THAT woman has TALENT!!!!
wow… i wonder how big of a glass she could hold?
You sure you don’t want a bite of this sandwich?
I won’t fall for that again. Last time someone offered me that, I was pregnant and we all know what happens with that incurable disease.
Nothing a bottle of gin and a hot bath can’t solve.
That would be nice after a marathon of roller coaster rides.
And repeatedly driving over railroad tracks?
And repeatedly diving into Ryannon’s slacks?
Hey Blue2th…NO SLACKS!!
Bwuaahahahahaa!
Mmm, sweatshops for all!
Dragon – it’s what’s for dinner.
Wow, B2th, I’m impressed. You’re insatiable today. How many times is that????
Uh, btw, could you pencil me in as dessert?
Oh sweetie…he won’t have room for dessert.
Pffft, nothing this nifty 500mg viagra won’t take care of. Who’s next?
500 mg? That should buy us, like, 4 hours! *wheels out the cheese cart*
More like 40 sweetie. You get the KY, I’ll get the whip, the watermelon and the pelet gun.
40 minutes? That’s like 10 times! Oh, wait, that’s just with the under 25’s…
no…DAAAAAYS
Hey, I found a new pickup line:
“Do you mind if I hang out here until its safe back where I farted.”
That line blew me away.
Hahahahahahah thanks, I laughed while on a conf call.
*cancels dessert* Eewww, B2th!
What? No spatula or dry ice?
wheres the sheep… (reference to a different forum)
where’s your brain (reference to a lost brain)
Where’s my phone? (reference to a lost phone)
Where’s the beef? (reference to…erm. Nevermind.)
Where’s the body? (reference to a previous crime)
After an erection lasting more than 4 hours, he’d have to contact a physician.
Look in the street, near the yellow lines (reference to a previous link).
I can’t see a body, there seems to be two men standing over the yellow lines and they have rifles in their hands!
You can’t see a body? You’re nuts.
I’m nuts about your acorn baby!
2nd
Why? Everyone should enjoy AID… I mean AYDS.
My Mom used to have AYDS.
Yeah aids is a terrible thing I was really sick the first time I had it, ergh
No thanks, I’d rather be ’squishy’.
Everyone should enjoy AYDS!
^ Three minutes later, and half the comment short?
lol.
*squish*
*SQUEEZE!*
No aids for me.
Are you sure? You get a cocktail afterwards…
And it won’t leave you nervous!
Enjoy your Ayds.
Jared has aides!
Almost first.
…Failblogger Catman was arrested today on charges of saying ‘f*rst’. He is currently being tazed.
Was he read his rights?
Firsters have only the right to remain silent.
No, they have to remain silent.
If only they would.
*sigh*
Avis, coyote asked me to tell you…clickie my name, okay?
YIKES!!! Because I won’t be on-line when he is, tell him he’s in my thoughts, and that I’m wishing him all the best!! He’s certainly handling better than I EVER could.
*sigh* Bukkit please! “certainly handling IT better…”
*takes the bukkit away*
It’s okay. You’re distraught.
*hug*
Thank you. *hugs*
Is there anything we can do?
Be here for him when he gets back…we must prepare the lulz!
I was thinking.. I would like to send him chocolate and a bukkit, but I don’t think the hospital would accept something addressed to “coyote”.
Unless someone staying at the hospital happened to be there due to a freak anvil accident.
Or an emo anvil accident. Probably slashed it’s wrists because it’s mascara ran.
Thanks for posting that link, I missed it yesterday. I hope he goes
back and reads all the responses.
You’re welcome…and we can direct him there when he gets back!
They have the right to remain silent, but not the ability.
And you have the ability to plagiarize, but not the right…
I have the right to solemnize, but not the ability …
Don’t taze him bro! Don’t taze him! He didn’t do nothin’!
F*RST! OH NOES!!!!
BTW, whenever someone says f!rst, I will comment in lolspeak.
Two fails do not a win make.
hehe.. I’d like that on a t shirt.
*insert celebrity couple reference here*
Uh, don’t know where you are from but here in the US we have restrictions on cruel and unusual punishment. And I believe, girl, that your resolution crosses the line.
I’ve told her before to hand over her name until she proves herself worthy of it…
Well, that’ll never happen! She’d be better off just coming up with a new one altogether! Preferably one that is unique.
Or one that no one else has used or would think of.
Thefty McStealerson?
Scheisty Sniff III?
Ian Earsbottom.
Dozy Twit?
Dragon, I bitched someone out for calling himself fuzzy_pickles! You have a much stronger case.
Pickles should not turn fuzzy.
Admirals around here are a dime-a-dozen. I have Loz to thank/blame for encouraging me to keep this name.
I second that emotion.
‘Question. Why take diet pills, when you can enjoy AYDS!’
classic
This product was discontinued in the early 1980’s for obvious reasons. The company is defunct. ELDERLY AD.
I remember SNL saying that they had a follow-up product called HERPEES.
Early 80’s? It lasted that long? I remember this stuff from somewhere around the mid-1970’s. Caramel-candy-like cubes, supposed to be an appetite suppressant, as I recall. Elderly ad indeed! I’m amazed that someone actually found a copy in some dusty old vault somewhere.
What was the cause of death?
well, so far no asses calling first!
Catman is borderline on that.
close, very close.
Facinatingly close
unbelievable, i love being high
Which mountain do you live on?
Mt. Cannabis, most likely.
On top of Old Smokey…
I live in the vicinity of the smokeys (WNC). An Asian tourist came into my work and asked, “Where can I find The Great Smokey Mountain?”
… I fell in love with the situation.
Go tell it on the mountain…
He’ll be coming ’round the mountain when he comes.
What? It was Sally! She’ll be coming around the mountain… did both genders get a different version?
play me some mountain music like grandma and grandpa used to play..
Have you ever seen the blue ridge mountains, boy?
Take me back to the blaaack hills, the black hills of Dakota…
Bod, you shure done got a purdy mouth.
You should quit him.
I can’t even quit smoking, how can I quit anal cowboy sex? Not gonna happen.
I think they make a patch for that.
*passes ShamWow*
*dons spurs*
We’ll float on down the river to our cajun hideaway!
She’ll be comin’ ’round the mountain when she comes.
Yep, that’s what I call it… the mountain!
Hello there. Do you mind if I stand here until it’s safe back where I farted?
Any luck yet Ry?
I’m striking out. I don’t think B2f’s approach is working for women.
I found it flattering.
She’s got a ticket to ride
over the hill and?
fail.
fai- WHAT?!
I prefer my ayds with lemon.
You know what they say, when life hands you AIDS, make lemonAIDS…
You, sir, are my hero.
I know I’m yummy but..
That’s the way to stay HIV-positive…
Fish.
??
Got any aids?
I have aides-de-camp, do they count?
Allez pécher.
Avez-vous des deux ?
un pecker, deux joues
*applauds* Non-seq is BACK!!
well, AIDS does help you loose weight….no, no, I don’t want to burn in hell
Too late fail?
Wow. Just, wow.
?
Wow, I remember that commercial, too. It wasn’t scary back then.
Yeah, I remember those… If I recall correctly, they were called AIDS originally in the 70s, then changed to AYDS to try and differentiate when the name was associated with the illness… then they just went away.
Gone, gone, beyond beyond, gone beyond beyond.
the mind is no hindrance on FB
It went back to the late 1950’s and had always been spelled Ayds.
After the horrible stroke of back luck of a new disease being given similar name, they tried to stay in business as “Diet-ayds” but that didn’t work.
You recall incorrectly. They were never called AIDS.
The problem was they tried to sell it globally and in some countries AIDS was well know as causing severe weight loss to the point of death. The ads sounded like they were promoting eugenics (racial ‘purification’ through destructive methods).
Actually, they were Ayds in the ’70s. They changed the name to Diet Ayds when sales tanked because of the name association. My mom used them, to no avail.
Actually it was called AYDS all along. The product itself was taken off the market either before AIDS came along or during that time… not sure which.
So this isn’t so much a fail as it is irony.
Yeah, I was confused as to why this was a fail…. because AIDS/AYDS was around before the illness. So it’s only a LOOKS like a fail now.
Yup, these things predate the illness, so the advert is only funny because it’s taken out of context.
OMG that IS a find
I knew AYDS was healthy!
Does that mean we can get back in the pool?
*makes a run for it with fuzz’s scissors*
Running with fuzz’s scissors is fun until someone gets hurt.
Then it’s a sport!
It’s always funny until someone gets hurt,
and then it’s just hilarious.
Nah, we might get Tetrisitus.
Then have to see Dr. Mario.
Well, I’d clicky if you had provided a Link, but I started randomly Tingling. Next time.
it fun because well get hurt…
duh…
its fun to run with them cuz we WILL get hurt
hurray!!!
I bet after they aired this commercial a few times, they realized and were like “OH SHI–”
“I was sick of all the fad diets out there. Then, a friend turned me onto Ayds!”
They didn’t. They were popular before AIDS became known, and once it did, they refused to change their name, even though their sales plummeted. They went out of business because of it.
Why do I have such random obscure knowledge?
It’s kind of sexy in a random obscure kind of way.
The more we know about AYDS, the better.
Nah, this product came out way before AIDS made its debut. *remembers fondly*
*fondles Mookie and remembers*
*Grabs some popcorn and watches*
*reaches in for popcorn and gasps at the size of the kernels*
I can’t believe you fell for that! Popcorn doesn’t pulse.
*feels very sick and rushes to the toilet*
Did you poop?
Did you poop a fruit loop?
Uh, thats my apple-headed spittin iguana puppet, not popcorn kernels.
*goes bobbing for apples*
Um, that’s not a bucket and that’s not an apple.
LOL… thanks B2th.
It’s like that restaurant Sar’s. Bet they’re doing really well these days.
Not nearly as well as Sam n’ Ella’s.
Baci Lism Cafe is booming
Not nearly as well as Pam Demic’s bar is.
I hear people are practically knocking down the back door to get into Fee C’s tavern
The Pink Taco is actually doing really well.
Anyone try that New Monia place?
Is that near the Trichin Oasis Club?
Yes, across from the Crypt O’ Coccus.
Isn’t that where Clam Lydia was once?
Lydia the TATOO’D Lady!
Pure genus.
Much too late, *dons a HUGE painted on moustache and an even bigger cigar*
^ @ fluffy.
@ cicili: Garçon?
I see we’re sharing this nest badly. I abdicate.
I say kick the non-seq bird out of the nest and let her fly on her own.
Mustache? Cigar? Kinda reminds me of my old avatar…
GROUCHO. there you have it!
Cicili Marx the spot.
In the song Non-Seq references, and thanks to Coyote, we know that there is an admiral to go along with the tattooed lady.
Hee!!
How about Donnie & Marie’s? Oh, that’s not a disease??? Well, it should be!
The diet product Ayds came out before the disease was discovered and named. Basically the disease put the company out of business.
Really old commercial. Nothing to do with the STD. No real connection. Fail.
I can’t tell if this comment made me really sad or really really sad.
I’m glad you cleared that up before I wrote the company. I thought it was socially irresponsible of them to promote HIV as a weight loss program.
So it’s a tapeworm? Named “Ayds”?
no thats that Aqua Teen Hunger Force episode:P
South Bronx Paradise Baby!
And anyone who tells you it really says ‘parasite’ is just part of the liberal media.
liberal media, smiberal smebia
General Ameboa
No, it’s Admiral Amoeba, he’s a Navy Man!
Those tablets look like Monopoly houses..
Which is probably why they make you feel like a million dollars.
*Ba-dum tish*
I never had brown Monopoly houses…
Notice I said ‘like’. I did not add ‘exactly’.
I did, but that’s just because my brother had a strange fetish.
Joebama? Does this smell like chloroform to you?
Do not pass Go…
Do not gain 200 pounds.
You won 2nd prize in a beauty contest. Collect $10 and your Ayds gift basket.
Or you won’t be able to fit in that hotel anymore
You will have to sit in Free Parking the whole game.
Can’t go on the Boardwalk nude anymore, you’ll ruin someone’s wedding photos.
older fail reference win.
The size of the pill is best bit.
It’s not a pill, it’s a delicious chocolatey chew!
I recognize that knuckle. Mookie, have you let your moose on here again?
Ahem, I prefer “cameltoe” thengkew.
OH! an Outie!
It’s actually a suppository.
Shit, no wonder I didn’t lose any weight!
I think Dilly is on to something. Maybe, bear with me guys, the vicar has bad eyesight and thought he was using AYDS when he accidentally used that potato. He wasn’t playing sex games and honestly, who hangs curtains naked?
*averts eyes and whistles innocently*
*sets camera up outside Dragon’s house hoping she’ll hang some curtains*
*sets up camera watching McFail watch Dragon*
*sets up camera, etc.,etc.*
*sets up camera and levitates above ground*
*phones Mythbusters and David Blaine’s lawyers*
*makes note to use hanging curtains as a euphemism for masturbation next time she is in a meeting*
*makes a note to request meat curtains when redecorating the living room*
*makes note to not eat at Fluffy’s place when she is “spring cleaning”*
*accesses Web Cams worldwide*
um-hmm, NICE, Ooooo, Uh-OH!, Bleeech!, Bo-Riiing, hmmmm, WOW!,nothing, nothing, …. *hours pass* …., CENSORED, yes YES! That’s IT!
*zooms in*
Wow. all I can say is wow.
*posts another Amber alert*
And she says I am dirty! She is a disgusting filthy whore watching pirated p0rn all day.
Um…why are all of you people watching my house??
Sorry, I didn’t realize he was yours.
Thank You Admirable Admiral, but I didn’t hear any alarms go off.
*looks at monitors and blinky lights* All OK here.
Ryannon, I am NOT “a disgusting filthy whore watching pirated p0rn all day” That stuff is worthless, (to me)! I just cruise any web cams I can find and see what I can see. If I’m lucky I might find something cool like the name link
I don’t dare…
hehe.. hiya sporkie.
Hi Amber,
I’m the hairy one in the foreground!
Oh, P.S. Yes, that’s a cool find!
Hiya fluffy!
Meat curtains?
Would you like a side of thighs with that?
click my name for an example.
You braved the Google search for that phrase, I see…
and thought the results were worth sharing …
new click replaced with something completely different.
*creepy old men in trenchcoats hide in the bushes in front of Dragon’s house*
Old news.
The thing is, AYDS *LONG* predates AIDS. Can’t be fail when the acronym hadn’t even been coined yet.
Yeah, they were so grandfathered in. I can’t believe they pulled it off the market. Buncha pussies.
I didn’t know that ‘pussies’ were counted in ‘bunches’.
*washes BondFan’s mouth out with soap* *sends him to his room*
Pussies don’t come in bunches, they come in hands, like bananas.
They also come on bananas, like hands
Your hand comes on your banana? I think you are doing it wrong.
I can vouch for him. He does it right.
Genuine story: as I was going to the supermarket this afternoon I passed a ten-year-old girl telling her mother “My friend Emily wants to come on our house”.
…and?
That’s it. Very anti-climactic. Emily was grounded and her friend couldn’t come all over her house.
She’s the girl we’d love to be,
oh to be like Emily
Pussies come round mountains when they come.
Hey! You aren’t me!
IMPOSTER! How dare they? They used your name and my avatar. I feel so used
Ooooh, I’ve always wanted to know…how DOES it feel to be a ShamWow??
Dragon, you’d better retract that statement stat before posters start showing up and wiping their nasties on you!
Dragons are nasties-resistant.
Let us not open that portal to a world no one really wants to go to…
Yes, dragons are nasty-resistant, especially used as a
sham-wow.
Who is this dragongirl? And what does she want from us?
I think she may want your virgin body. If not I’ll offer mine, it’s been barely used so far.
What all women want, your money, your c**k and your soul.
I don’t want your cask. OR your cork. Or even your cook.
Theng-kew-veddy-much.
*ignores the impostor*
You have money? I think I just fell a little bit in love with you.
A soul? Souls are a dime a dozen, I will take your cook.
LEAVE US CHEFS to create.ok?
But, USEFUL! Gee, we’ve been reborn!
*patting Ry on the back and commisurating*
‘We’ll be O.K, once we’re made whole! Lousy union anyway!’*Yelling* Help the workers!
But “buncha-muncha-cruncha…..pussy!” was the best advertising slogan!
If the pussy is a crunchin’, don’t come a munchin’!
Nah, just peel it off and use it as potatoe chips later.
Ok, Mr. Quayle…
Stays crunchy, even in MILF.
BondFan thinks pussies are counted by the galores.
But what happens when you get an Octet of pussies?
-coughs- Uhm… tentacles?
Did you know Hokusai was into tentacle porn, Retaba? (Hokusai is the famous Japanese artist who did The Great Wave off Kanagawa, the woodblock print with Mt. Fuji in the background — clickie TMI Service’s name to see the tentacle porn print.) The following is excerpted from Wikipedia:
I was using it in refrence to Octopussy from James Bond! -eyes dart back and forth-
- stares -
- smirks -
lol … oh fluffy fluffer the fluffiest!
*makes a fishy fluffernutter*
Wow, I suddenly have a craving for calamari.
Going to suck on those tentacles?
Ugh, thank you for reminding me of the last hentai I watched.
A plethora of pussy?
pussies are counted by the calories. tasty, and a good workout for buns and thighs!
As Jobs are counted by the ODD?
As Odds are counted by the evens?
All evens are counted by the Stevens.
All Stevens are counted by the Baldwins.
Ah this one is a classic! I remember seeing it on Youtube a while back!
And yes though it predates AIDS it’s still a fail based on modern context.
I wish we all had aides!
Talk to McFail. She’s interviewing for Chris’ replacement.
Or Bush.
The President, not the sex organ. Or the shrub.
Sweet Jesus! How many times am I going to have to do this! *soapmouth* *room*
Aww…
*grumbles*
Or the one that’s burning? The shrub, that is.
You mean George W is NOT alight at this present moment?
That’s a shock.
You’re right. We’re all dealing with a burning bush.
*passes the ointment*
Thanks. Venus Divine, my ASS!
Wouldn’t you just need more ointment? Seems like a bad idea…
Something wrong with Venus’ divining rod.
I’ll never enter these hallowed grounds in a Betty Boop get up.
*Flies behind George W and drops a match on him*
NOW he is!!!!
What’s your secret weapon to beat gravity? (Apart from being a dragon.)
Brains way a lot. She dumped hers to make her more aerodynamic.
way = weigh
slay = sleigh
nay = neigh
The maid came to my neighbor’s house on Sunday.
The Blue Jay ate nuts and snails in my neighbor’s garden.
We played by the gate and found eight nails.
I paid Santa today to take a ride in his sleigh.
Reminds me of a Southpark episode:
http://www.allsp.com/l.php?id=e81
I was gonna mention that: Jared has aides, that’s why he lost weight…
It’s a shame you never did! What were you thinking?
Isn’t a South Park Episode based on that commerical?
Or is that commercial based on South Park?
Exactly! This commercial reminded me of South Park. But they meant “Aides”. Because the guy who had Aides (2 guys: exercise guy and a diet guy) has lost a lot of weight. He was misunderstood because he wanted everybody to have aides. He wanted to give aides to the children!
When everything was sorted out eveyone laughed saying “AIDS is now funny”
That was actually a pretty funny episode. Too bad Comedy Central won’t air it anymore because of the scenes where Butters gets beaten by his parents.
So what? southparkstudios (dot) com : all episodes online AND legal!
Yeah, BARELY legal.
Legal-ee, NoLegal-ee, eez grey area…
As long as it’s medically sound, the remaining distinctions are arbitrarily drawn in sand.
I actually saw it pretty recently, and no have it on DVR but that sucks that they did that. How long ago did they decide to do that?
Yeah, it’s called “Jared has Aides” (Season 6, ep. 1).
But srsly… “Why take diet pills when you can enjoy AYD’s?” Epic!
The entire Ayds ads were pulled shortly after the fact that the ‘HUNKA HUNKA BURNIN’ pillow talkin’ Rock Hudson was broadcast that he had the AIDS brand reducing ‘candy’ living with him, who did NOT transmit the CANDY to him, Rock was fooling around! OH Woe was Rock! And down for the count, what, around the mid ’80’s, right?
Umm wow.
Whoa. Impressive.
*sits beside herself and wonders*
Wow – what a great comment.
And yes it was 1985. I remember because I was on vacation with my parents and the Rock Hudson thing was all over the gossip mags.
Had to look up the year though.
There was an even better one airing around the same time, a female model shows her thin waistline in side profile and exclaims “…….easy..I got Ayds!”
Try the new AYDS suppository
AYDS: Does a Body Good
I was always told that Ayds was caused by having butt sex…now I found that its because of taking some pills? What else haven’t I been told?!?!?
Well, Asinus, remember that blood transfusion you had in the 80s? It’s a damn shame you’ve been missing out on anal all these years, too. Education fail.
And I didn’t even get a buzz from that thing. What a rip.
Everyone has AIDS! AIDS AIDS AIDS AIDS!
*groan*
Oh great, now there are trolls who repeat that seriously annoying song.
The Troll has many forms. You must know them all. You must tell the Troll from his disguise and root him out from the hidden places. Trust no-one. Trust not even yourself. It is better to die in vain than to live in abomination. The zealous martyr is praised for his valour; the craven and the unready are justly abhorred.
- The First Book of Indoctrinations
A little something to help you, BondFan4518
It’s a ‘take’ on Popeye. The 1981 movie.
I bet you have AIDS. But that’s okay, because…everyone has AIDS!
“use only as directed”
Bow down before me, mortals, for once again Dana is first!
I know your brother.
That’s scary, Please DO NOT! I Repeat DO Not have a baby from either of them!
By “know”…?
Tom pops up a lot and says he is the dreaded f word just for attention. Dana is not even zuul.
There is no First.
There is no Last.
Nothing is Forever.
Forever is Nothing.
There is no meaning in life, but there is tremendous life in meaning.
Do you mind if I stand here until it’s safe back where I farted?
Do you have a hammer?
Nice shoes…
I am thrilled with the quality of the shoe and the service from Zappos. My delivery was upgraded and I received the purchase in 1 business day. And it was FREE!
I’m actually barefoot, Ry, just couldn’t think of what to say. Have fun at the game.
*is confused*
Me too.
Isn’t that what Walberg said when he was floating to his doom on ‘The Perfect Storm’? Also, ‘there is only love’…..
# Only love
can make that moment last #
There is no Dana. Only FAIL.
haha tooooo funny, I used to chew them chocolate bits, and when the bad AIDS came out, I wondered what this company was going to do. It was way way back in the 70’s and maybe early 80’s. You guys are also tooooo funny.
Do you remember Feenamint? Wasn’t that gum for constipation? I remember my brothers chewed some “chicklets” that happened to be Feenamint or some such thing. They were on the toilet for days.
Oh yeah. And they just happened to “find” them too. Right, found them in your hand as you were offering them gum more likely.
I am the baby and several years younger. I was an angel growing up. I learned from their mistakes.
Chicklets with a purpose!
My mom took those. They look like little chocolates. My grandfather would always sneak them because he was senile and thought they tasted good. I think they are just a laxative, not a big deal diet drug.
Wait – you mean laxatives aren’t to be used for weight loss??? *spits* Ptewy.
Oooh! A half-chewed piece of chocolate!
*chews*
Uh oh. Looks like it’s time to change the water in Fluffy’s bowl….
A clean colon is a happy colon.
And emotion + colon = emoticon.
: )
Yes, I know. I cleaned mine with the ShamWow.
Damn!
Yeah, well, the owner isn’t too happy if it’s not by choice. *is still recovering from sudden sickness on Monday*
*hugs*
Get well soon Spork.
Thanks. *SQUUUEEEZES* I feel better now. ^_^
Man, I hope I never catch AIDS again.
LOL naive advertising people.
I once died from AIDS.
Really? What was it like?
It’s overrated.
I’m full, I went to a Chinese buffet and overrated.
I once went to a Chinese buffet and was overeaten. An hour later I was horny again, though.
It’s all that MSG and STD.
I’m not familiar with those time zones. Are they in Asia?
Genetic references, actually.
Silly me, I thought the genetic ones were deoxyribonucleic acid, and ribonucleic acid. I shouldn’t have smoked so much hash in high school.
Neither should have I.
I remember these. They were out decades before AIDS was a known disease. I really don’t see how it could be a “fail” because it wasn’t a fail at the time. It should be a “nostalgic win”. Just my opinion. (This is my first comment ever on here. Please don’t hurt me.)
You can leave any time you want…
Oh, who am I kidding? I just had a look at my comment. I’m about as scary as an Afghan starjumper.
You just have to … apply the right amount of scary! -stares-
Watch out or Dragon will boop you on the nose again. *grins*
Shhh, I am scary! Fear me! Rawr!
Hee!
*yawns*
-grumbles-
*stumbles*
+fumbles+
*screws*
.
“umble” ^
-mumbles- -sighs- -stares-
*tumbles*
*boops*
You called?
Hee!
Yes Ms. Crocker, We just wanted to tell you that your new muffin mix taste like shit.
That wasn’t her muffin you ate. You’re holding her upside down.
humble thigh hairs
Will you stop that, we are never going to get any fresh meat around here if you keep glaring at everyone like that!
I’m not glaring, I’m creepily staring at them!
*boop!*
YAAYYYY!
Not much of a distinction there.
You multi-gender dissidents are ruining my schtick!
*is of one gender*
*is also in St. Louis at this moment*
Huhmm, did that come out wrong? I was trying to not use “you guys”.
How about “You non-gender specific dissidents”?
I’ll accept that!
P.S. How does the St. Louis comment play into things? I can thick-skulled at times…
-sighs- BondFan4518, please pass the bukkit.
*lives in Chicago*
It doesn’t really, I just thought I would share.
Here you go.
PS – I prefer BFF: it’s more informal.
Ah! Thanks, and I’ll use that if you prefer it.
To Avis – Well, when you through random things like that out there, I get confused.
Through? With what?
And of COURSE you’re in MO when I’m not!
:p
You don’t want to know.
It involves a cucumber, honey and a prong.
You expected otherwise? I am due back here around the end of the month though. Unfortunately I think it’ll be in the middle of the week.
BFF,
! You’re right, I don’t want to know!
See! Now, here’s some brain bleach. You’ll need it.
Thank you!
*attempts to bleach brain*
I don’t think it’s working.
Hmm…
Try washing your eyes.
I’m blind enough as it is, thank you anyway.
Me 2, Avis! And BF, that’s the third lewd comment from you today? what’s gotten into you? (I think our little boy is growing up).
I recently caught him trying to unpixelate some pictures he found laying around.
Maybe his computer got hijacked by his Mom while he’s back in classes?
*gasp*
How do you know? Who are you? Who are you working for? What do you know?
AND I caught him trying to peel off the black censor bar to see the stripper’s sideboob.
STOP! STOP! I’m being followed! Must…change…IP address…
*collapses*
BFF, do you recall being tagged with that moniker?
And being released back into the wild?
Avis was lookin’ for some company. Has a fresh box of Ayds and a couple of Idaho spuds with your name on ‘em.
Avis has no need your company.
You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave…
You can leave when Hell Freezes Over.
According to Dante… it already has!
Who wants the watch the towering inferno?
*sigh*
to watch.
Pass the bukkit, please.
For the ‘what’ time? I’ve seen it sooo many times, Steve McQueen dies of cancer shortly after colon ‘cleansing’ with coffee. He should have used it to douse the flames!
Welcome rose and post away. You have a point and I will try not to mock it.
Ooo! Why so calm, Ryannon?
She’s all post-coital.
FFG. I thought so.
I am trying a new, kinder gentler Ryannon. Besides, we have to lure them in with kindness so we can mock them later.
Ayds, from the makers of the Small Pox vitamin tablets. Remember: you can’t really be healthy without Small Pox vitamin tablets.
Anyone want to see Anpu nuke Xenuland? He finally got the bomb.
Xenuland has already been bombed before, didn’t you read up on his history?
*runs away screaming in terror*
But back then, Anpu had a pathetically weak 5 megaton bomb. This time, he has a 50 megaton bomb. And Xenuland isn’t a dude, it’s the country that Scientologists come from.
I must say that AYDS really works!
If you don’t mind the inconvenient urges, the splatter, and the slight burning sensation.
I love your site… you should check out the guys at http://www.thenoz.wordpress.com
Hmm, no?
Sorry, not into guys…but if you have a jar of peanut oil and a ShamWow! i may be interested.
Why haven’t you been banned yet?
It may be funny now, but i don’t see how it’s a fail. They have been selling AYDS way before they coined the word AIDS.
Just like this guy I know in his 80’s. His name is Gay and he’s from England. Back when his parents named him, that word meant happy. But unfortunately the 12-years-olds on the same street didn’t know any better.
I think Southpark already beat this dead horse.
Hey, congratulations–that AIDS/AYDS joke is only about 25 years old.
Current Relevance FAIL
It’s FAIL blog. All fails are welcome.
the packages of AYDS are now only 5,95!
AYDS shares at an all-time low.
LMAO!!
“Why take a diet pill when you can enjoy aids!” xD
This commercial fails so epically that it wins the internets.
at least, the ad doesn’t lie. AIDS DOES make you lose weight.
I don’t know what all your problems are.
This comercial is from around the early 70’s before AIDs was an issue.
This is a dietary aid similar to Dexatrim.
My grandmother used them to help control her impulses for sweets,
she was severly diabetic. If this helped her, I imagine it also helped a lot of other people with weight control. Anorexia starves your brain and bulimia erodes your esophagus. I’d rather use AYDS and eat healthier. You are ALL idiots.
*covers fluffy’s eyes*
Don’t look, darling.
But… but… I LIKE being an idiot!
I don’t know what all your problems are either. Besides, everybody knows:
AYDS IS GODS PUNISHMENT AGAINST YOUR GRANDMOTHERS UNHOLY IMPULSES
…TO MAKE JAM!
With a name like Smuckers, it has to be lethal.
I didn’t know it was the bulimia that eroded my esophagus. I always thought it was the 2 liters of Stoli every night.
See? That’s what all your problems are.
AIDS IS GODS PUNISHMENT AGAINT THE UNHOLY. THE GAYS, AND DRUGGIES, AND THE PROSTITUES WILL FEEL GODS WRATH AT THE GATES OF HEAVEN, AND HE CASTS THEM INTO THE FIREY PIT OF HELL TO BURN FOR ALL ETERTINTY.
THE ONLY WAY TO THE FATHER IS BY THE SON. EMBRACE JESUS CHRIST AS YOUR SAVIOR OR GODS VENGENCE WILL BE UPON YOU!!!!!
Bite me.
Did you catch the gay?
heh heh heh…No, I didn’t catch it.
Wait, it’s contagious?!?!?!
Who was the last one to use the ShamWow?
Not this shit AGAINT. Besides, everybody knows:
AIDS IS GODS PUNISHMENT AGAINT THE BABIES WHOSE MOMS NEEDED BLOOD TRANSFUSIONS DURING PREGNANCY.
He’p me… I’m burning….
You don’t have to. Embrace Jesus. That’s what I’m doing.
ps I don’t mind sharing. His love is boundless, apparently. Yum!
Pease be with you.
And an extra piece for you! You deserve it.
I wondered how long it would take.
At least the spelling is correct (no apostrophes when shouting).
Prostitues?
Firey?
Etertnity?
Vengence??
*makes Aja go back to school*
I couldn’t read much of it through all the shouting. Anyway I was trying very hard to ignore whatever was typed.
+ Againt
Dragon dear, you spelled ETERTINTY wrong.
Dammit.
*goes back to school*
I’m always baffled by these. I mean, Hitler believed in Jesus. He’ll be in heaven while the millions and millions of Jews and gays he murdered will go to hell.
That’s a teensy bit controversial, fluffy.
That is exactly her point, BFF.
Vengeance is spelled wrong.
Um…Ry…lookie up.^^^^^
I was on a conference call and only paying partial attention. I failed
please please PLEASE tell me this is a sad attempt at a humor?
wow…I had a engrish moment hmmm
Not to burst your bubble or anything, but didn’t Jesus hang out with the prostitutes and other sinners? I could swear it’s in the Bible somewhere.
Oh, and how very christian of you.
Yeah, everyone knows that “washing his feet” was a euphemism.
For some reason, this made an impression on me.
.
From the ST:TNG episode “Up the Long Ladder”
.
RIKER
What do you mean?
.
BRENNA
Do you not like girls?
.
RIKER
Of course I like… Oh… is there a technique to this foot washing?
.
Brenna approaches him. Unhooks her skirt. It puddles about her feet, and she steps out of it wearing a pretty petticoat.
.
BRENNA
You generally start low… and work your way up.
.
Riker reaches up pulls the pins from her long red hair. It cascades over her shoulders.
.
RIKER
I think I can handle that.
.
They are in each other’s arms now.
.
BRENNA
I was hoping you might.
Oooh…roleplaying!!
Um. I get to be Brenna…right?
She spoke with an Irish accent. Can you manage that?
(Trust me, I’ll be convinced anyway!)
Faith and begorrah!
*hopes the red hair and green eyes add verisimilitude*
Computer, holodeck program Riker 10, clawfoot tub in field of heather.
Oh no! Ta mo eadie fliuch!
Hee! That program needs an adjustment!
An féidir liom cabhru leat?
*removes the wet things*
Now to that hair…
*gets very close and slowly draws out pins*
*Sits back with the popcorn and apple headed lizard and watches intently*
*washes Ry’s feet*
*splurtfffft* Sorry, I’m ticklish.
*pulls out fully recharged popcorn eraser*
…And how long have you had this problem, Mr. Benedict XVI?
There is an invisable man in the sky who will send you to Hell to burn for ever here after if you don’t do what he tells to do…but he loves you.
He’s also invisible.
Poor man, without a Visa how will he ever buy anything?
He doesn’t love me a really, really, really, lot does he?
If so, I’ll be kinda be afraid of what he’d tell me to do.
Invisible? Oh! That’s different, he can just steal anything he needs.
Oh yay! The hatemongers are here! I was beginning to think that they weren’t going to show.
To quote a very dear friend of mine…
Please leave the planet, doitnowmove!!!
People leave pamphlets with this rhetoric laying around my frigging hospital, ffs.
your very own hospital?
Oh yes of course, it’s my private facility.
So easy to troll LOL
What a shame. We all thought you were a hard on, now we find you’re just a limp dick.
You make Jesus cry.