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I think three of them get it.
That’s being very generous.
I figure two of them get it and a third gets it but has decided to do chair salutations instead so he won’t be ostracized by the rest of the group for doing them right. Peer pressure and all that.
An A for psychology !
dont be so harsh on them, they tried thier best
Those of you thst are making fun of these servicemembers are stupid. I would not be suprised to find out that these soldiers/marines are being “smoked” by their drill instuctor/seargent. I would like you to try and do jumping jacks for an hour straight and keep a perfect form. try it sometime, I assure you that you civilian types will give up after about five minutes.
wow. lets see you do it?
wow budd, peeps are just havin fun critisizing…
they look like CIDGs, appearantly cherries xD
But it’s not like they are just doing it weakly, moving their legs with less effort and their arms are carelessly being dragged up and down. If you look closely at what they are doing, notice that they don’t not have energy, they’re just stupid.
this site is real funny. how long has this been here? it is so much better that the cats and dogs
The first fail was 1/3/08 at 10:07 pm. There was no comment until 1/14/08 2:23 pm. This place has been failing ever since.
Welcome! I hope that you make yourself at home. Beware of the heavy handed and trolls and take no nastiness to heart. The vast majority (99% and that’s more than half (running gag, of which there are innumerable)) are decent sorts.
Above all have fun!
Coyote – is that your sweet mug????
What are you on about? That’s not a coffee cup. That’s my face.
Good lord. You’re adorable.
What else did you expect?
One more time: ♫Oh Lord It’s Hard To Be Humble When You’re Perfect In Everyway♫
I guess it has something to do with the way that you fill out your skin tight blue jeans.
You peeked!
Hey, you’re dancing around to Mac Davis tunes I’m just sitting here countin’ flowers on the wall.
That don’t bother me at all…
Good to see yer sweet face, Coyote! You look nothing like a wolf.
Fluff, halp? Where is everyone??
Smoking cigarettes and watchin’ Captain Kangaroo.
It’s the middle of the night, Dilly. Time to play solitaire with a deck of fifty one.
Now don’t tell me you’ve nothing to do.
By the by Dragon, take a look towards the bottom of this page.
I did, sweetness. Take a look at my response.
I think that the blog monster is messing with us. I can’t see your reply. I can see Dilly, Fuzz and the Admiral.
I don’t see Dragon’s, either…the blogmonster must’ve had a problem with all her dirty swearing in old English…
I prefer her clean swearing in Middle English.
That’s so odd…I can see it. Hold on, lemme try something.
Oh, and…Coyote, how can I resist an invitation like that?
*swink!*
Now I’ll need to be on the lookout for a M.E. dictionary.
Coyote, my reply to your news is here…just clickie my name.
Did you try it yet?
I’ll have two of the MYTH books with me in the hospital. So I’m taking two Asprins to make me feel better.
Just tried your name and nothing happened. Did you forget to pay your fail bill for this month?
Hee! That’s hilarious!
And…did I try the link? I did! It takes me right to my post.
*kicks the blogmonster*
That came through loud and clear. Thank-you.
If at first you don’t succeed curse, curse again.
THAT I can always do!
I would have hugged back, but hugging front is much more fun.
Good night to all. I’ll see you in a few days. Say hi to Avis for me.
I’ll be thinking of you, dear coyote. I’ll let Avis know, I promise.
Night, love.
Aahhh, did I miss the Middle. My dad will be so mad, he read me poems in Middle English to get me to sleep.
Oh dear god! Not cause they were boring, but because he’s awesome.
Three? I think they all get it. It’s the new YMCA strike squad of the US Marines. They are feared the world over. They sneak up, leap out of the trenches/from behind cover and start singing “Young man….”.
Whereupon the enemy becomes completely paralysed with hysterical laughter.
Special “cleansing squads” (wearing ear plugs and specially tinted glasses) then come in, disarm the the enemy and secure them.
No guns, no blood, no bullets, no friendly fire (which is a first for the USA military – ba-dum, tish).
Boo hiss. Don’t give up your day job.
snake? SNAKE? SNAAAAAAAAAAKKKKKEEEEEE!!!!!!
You big ninny, it’s just a garden snake.
Yes, but THAT snake has been known to rip the testicals off men and stuff them in a jar….all 11 and a half of them.
-grins- Wolf is the man now, dog!
Metal Gear Solid reference??
Metal Gear, DUH
SNAKE KILLS KNOCKED OUT OCELOT:: snake…you’ve created a time paradox…you cant go changing the future like that…
Lmao
“paralysed with hysterical laughter.”
.
Hmmmm *coughMontyPythoncough*
*coughnomoremontypythonhereforgod’ssakeplease?cough*
Oh my hell Minger – that is hilarious!
Well.. You should join the military.. meet the boys they got in there. Then, and only then you will understand “friendly-fire” a.k.a. gettin rid of that certain asshat.
Like Pat Tillman.
Talk about boo hiss….
getting rid of that certain asshat.
So am I correct in interpreting your statement as saying that the best way to get rid of someone on your side who is annoying you is to shoot them?
If so, then you’re disgusting.
But even your gay marines will understand our newly developed deadly joke!
We already had one in the second world war (see click my name for an example). Imagine what we have now!
Monty Python win.
AAARGH. I’m out.
*coughisupposethatreddwarf’soutofthequestion?cough*
Do I smell… Spam!?! Spam, Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam SPAAAAAAM…..!!!
Wenn ist das Nunstruck git und Slotermeyer? Ja! … Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput!
… I got that without having to click the link. die Flipperwaldt gersput…
*snickers*
*SKOR!*
Monty Python FTW!
So much effort for so little humor. Usually gay jokes are funny.
Did you vote for Prop 8?
Would have if I could have.
Yeah… the good gay jokes all go:
There was a gay guy. He had anal sex.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
*is not feeling very funny today*
*looks for someone to go and have anal sex with*
*presents Bod with a potato*
knock yourself out, this one’s on me.
*tries to work out what to do with a potato that’s on Mikey D*
*gives up*
*goes to repair the curtains instead*
Bod, the thing to do with a potato that’s on Mikey D is *SQUEEZE!*
Only instead of your arms, you use a different body part located at the bottom of your torso.
Heeheehee.
*makes quick height of windowsill/angle of fall calculations and carefully positions potato*
Mind you don’t slip Bod.
-Appears out of the shadows- Boo!
*falls*
Oh!
We must do this again some time.
Now… will you call 911 or shall I?
Isn’t it marvellous what we can achieve when we all work together?
*phones the press*
*phones ambulance as afterthought*
i did
Finding gay jokes funny makes you a homophobe? Wow. Damn, I must be a misanthrope because I’ve heard funny jokes about all kinds of people!
Fuzz! Halp!! I’m confused!!
Oh stop it, dilly. We know it’s you.
Busted.
^ perkily
Joke warfare is outlawed by the Geneva convention.
Tell that to Yakov Smirnoff
In soviet russia, joke tells you!
Soviet Russia making a comeback I see?
comeback? Did it ever go away?
In Soviet Russia, the jokers outlaw YOU!
I take those bastards out of the deck.
Thank you. The US Military are putting their lives on the line every day to protect your freedom to do things like bash them. So thank you for using your freedom of speech, even if you are doing so in a very poor and distasteful way.
too bad they aren’t American Military… but nice try.
It worked on me. I cracked up when I read that.
And its very difficult to join this new squad,
The two new recruits just couldn’t get the jizz of it despite being guided with a dozen instructors.
I really think that its choreographed, I mean they are not even trying to follow the instructors and are just doing their own thing which they repeat over and over again. Someone who doesn’t know how to do it will definitely not be that coordinated
OMG!! its the army of RETARDS!!!
none of them gets it correct. been to the army done it more than a million times.
FISTING FIST
a one two three zero ^
It’s the ELEVEN Stooges!
the sad part is that i got that joke…
wtf was that? :O
Jumping Jacks Fail.
But it’s all right now — in fact, it’s a gas.
It’s a fail, fail, fail.
They were evidently born to some rhythm deficient hags.
In Soviet Russia, Jack jumps you!?
(sounds more like Socialist San Francisco…)
Funny, people make fun of “socialist” San Fran, but why *is* it that San Fran’s economy is almost certainly bigger than yours? What is it about we “socialists” that allows us to understand business better than you?
*backs away slowly and drags khaaaaaaaaaaaaan along with her*
Ooh, where is Raelalt when you need him??
Sorry, I was busy nationalizing all of the nation’s wealth (it was a short job). Wassup?
too late
YEAH! …and the people there are really thick skinned and can take a joke and laugh at themselves.
Hey! Who you callin’ thick skinned? We’re just big-boned. And I do mean that in the best way.
*chuckle*
Ok, I’ll bite … why is San Fran’s economy so large? Two things: 1) venture capitalists too lazy to leave San Fran to find the next Google, and 2) technology media companies too lazy to leave San Fran to find people doing innovative things in the rest of the world.
Ugh, I hate San Fran. There was a company there that spent over 340 million in less than a year and almost ruined my employer, who they happened to buy right before failing. *sniffle* and it was a good concept too, just lots of money up the founders nose.
I♥SF
*makes sure he’s wearing some flowers in his hair*
Me too, male prostitute.
So you saw him on the news too?
LOL … I’d forgotten I’ve told that story here. You clearly have a good memory for a tenderloin — you know where to find me.
*leaning against the lamppost*
pssst! How much?
If you have to ask, you can’t afford it
I’m not sure Fuzz likes being referred to as “it”…
you can refer to me as “euphemism”
.
<blockquote? Ooh, amore, chiamami chiamami.
Oo, appelle-moi mon cherie, appelle-moi
Anytime anyplace anywhere anyway
Anytime anyplace anywhere any day, anyway
Refer to me my life
Refer to me refer to me any anytime
Refer to me for a ride
Refer to me refer to me for some overtime
___
~ Blond E. Fuzz, “Refer Madness”
… and a sometime “<blockhead?” typoist
It you is, or it you ain’t my baby?
(harry fuzzy makes a call)
Two BETTER reasons:
1) we have the highest per capita education of any major city in the U.S.
2) Ghey peoples don’t have a bunch of kids, so they can spend all their money segways and hot pants.
disposable income=good for the economy
Oh, god, the SMUUUUUUUUUUUUUG! *chokes*
It couldn’t possibly be because San Fran is part of California, one of the largest states in the U.S. could it?
Your awesome economy is largely built around tourism and banking,
along with some Silicon Valley spill-over.
Good luck with that in the coming months.
Calm down Jack.
Oh, god, the SMUUUUUUUUUUUUUUG! *chokes*
San Fran’s economy is heavily dependent on tourism – tourists bring in well over $8 billion annually, yet San Fran is still only the 8th best city in the US when it comes to GDP per capita. That’s got little to do with business – it’s all about location.
we dont take kindly to your type around here….
take France as being the problem outlined in San Fran. France is Socialist, has an excellent, self-sufficient economy, and yet….well, we all know the problems with France
Yeah, too many French people.
Because socialists are parasites. They don’t create… they move in after the creating’s done. Then, as you demonstrate, they claim that they were behind the progress all along.
Oh, and what was that about certain CA cities going bankrupt because of their utopian pension schemes? Maybe your city government better start applying for bailout funds sooner rather than later…
haha nice one
I’M BACK!
Noodle! So glad to see you out…I mean back! (hug)
Not actually, I was just hoping to get a f. A f-f-f-fi…A fi-fi-fiiiiiirs
I CAN’T DO IT!
*flees in terror*
*chases after noodleguy with tazer*
You’ve been warned!
Tazer?!?! You need to be chasing that guy with a fork!
Hee! I did not read “fork” properly.
…But chasing him with a fort makes no sense!
It must’ve been a form. I do have a love for Scantrons.
Did you chase him with a Ford? Try to run him down?
Well, I am a prefect. For’eal.
what is it with you people and tasers??
They got the jumping right, but not the jacking. Someone needs to teach them how to jack properly. Any volunteers?
Your name suggests that you might be well suited for this position.
No, he’s the implement they would be jacking. We need a teacher not a tool!
We do in fact have many tools here…
Yes, but your government is indispensable at the moment.
Mmm…
*Jumps*
Mmm…
*Jacks*
Mmm….
*Fails*
Whats wrong with this? The drill instructors obviously don’t care. I think we just don’t know what kind of exercise they’re doing. There’s got to be a very reasonable explanation for this… Or maybe they just suck. (i like number 6)
I can get you his number if you are interested.
Please do. I like watching his butt
I have a cuddly friend you might be interested in.
Hahah!
Hola mr. cuddles
*cue tv announcer*
Has mr. cuddles found true love at last? Tune in tomorrow to As the Failblog World Turns
-ponders- -continues to stares-
*pinches cheek*
Stop! Thief!
*blows whistle*
Why thank you.
I wondered why it moaned rather than peeped.
Yeah… I prefer to peep on my own.
I’m sorry, I’m just not into that stuff.
I’m not a mr. cuddles! I’m scary! Rawr!
Awww…!! Cyoot!
Like Cyote.
No blushing, cute Cylon! You must be a V for Visitor!!
I think they are exhausted, and the drill instructors are pushing them to the limit. It’s a pretty standard practice.
“OK soldiers, we’re going to dance around idly, while you, you, and you do jumping jacks. On my count:”
- the obvious setup to this clip
Holy Crap! That was awesome. I am dying for some background info…
a comment by and1hotsizzle18 on youtube says:
“Lol if anyone doesnt know this is the US military training the Iraqi police. Thats exactly how it was when I went there. Halarious!”
Wrong. The Iraqi police uniforms are entirely different. I’m here at an IP training facility in Baghdad right now (adjacent to Camp Victory). First of all, the IP’s are not allowed to have beards, they have to be clean-shaven (although they usually have stubble), second: Their uniforms are dark blue pants with light blue button up shirts with the IP insignia on the right shoulder.
It’s in Khandahar, Afghanistan. The Afghan national army doing joint PT with the 10th Mountain Div. It’s not all that uncommon, the Afghani way of doing PT is usually rolling across a parking lot wearing nothing but their skivies, so they are not all that familiar with “traditional” PT.
They don’t look like they can walk and shoot gun at the same time.
“Can I move?”
~ The Sundance Kid
Are you crazy? The fall will probably kill you!
^ Who is this guy?!
How come you’re so talkative?
Naturally Afghani, I guess.
You’re the natural.
*gives the Admiral a pair of sneakers*
I didn’t even notice the beards… observation fail. Although U.S. forces don’t *usually* do PT in their BDUs, and the barracks buildings didn’t look right. Still, I was all set to say, “Do you have any idea how frigging exhausted a recruit is after he’s been smoked by the drill instructors?” Seriously, you could be the most high-speed jumpin-jacker in the U.S. of A. and your arms would still be floppin’ when Drill Sergeant Gorilla got through with you. But now that I know it’s foreigners I’m kind of nonplussed. C’mon. Most of us grew up being taught how to do stuff like this in P.E. Do you think these guys had time to go to freaking American public school?
first?!
Nope. Eleventh according to the count.
And still counting…
Nope. 7th, u dont count replies
Ah, ok. Thanks for the clarification.
You thanked him for telling you that you don’t count? That is some serious self-worth issue you have there. Stand up for your rights! Be heard. DOWN WITH THE MAN!
HAHAHA!
.
Where I work, not counting is the best place to be! That means you’re flying under the radar and less likely to get called into one of those “I talk, you listen” meetings with the boss.
MUCH better than one of those “I touch, you no talk” meetings. I’m sleeping my way to the bottom!
But you said I could be on bottom next time! *pouts*
No, No. I said I want to slap your bottom next time.
I think Ry and Blue2th are going to “visit the vicar”.
B2F lives in Idaho, he has his own potato farm! Why do you think I love him so much?
You choo-choo-choose me?
Littlefoot: Do you smell something?
Petrie: [Ducky's on his head] I… I smell… I smell… I smell… hmm… Ducky.
Ducky: You smell me?
The night my mother died I came home to find my 2 year old son watching that movie. I threw the damn video away. I think my reaction to it made my son scared of dinosaurs for the longest time.
potatoes are fun.
*bends over* whenever you’re ready blue2th!
Love you dearly but get your own fairy! He’s mine.
But that gay dating service you signed me up for isn’t working…
Aw, sweetie.
*hug*
I’m sure we’ll find someone for you!
I told you to mangroom. It’s not my fault if they don’t like hairy men.
*hugs Dragon* I hope so!
It’s too much for one man to do alone…I need some help manscaping. Unless someone can lend me their lawn mower.
Last time I helped a man groom, I used a weed wacker. And we all know how that turned out. The evidence is in the jar on my mantle.
*winces and reaches for crotch* ok, I think I’ll attempt it on my own… I’m on Mookie’s myspace btw
Me too! Oh wait, are you a “friend” or just a peeping cuddler?
I’m a friend. I’ll add you later
can’t access myspace at work 
I can’t either, (For Ryannon) so I remote into a server that is on the outside of one of our firewalls so the ACL does not effect it thereby making it possible to get to myspace at work.
I work from home. One laptop for work, one for play and one for streaming video.
“Talk nerdy to me” huh? Fail
*nod* I love me some geeks.
Wow, I just got all hot and bothered by Blue2th’s nerd-speak *fans self*
mr. cuddles, click on my name for a nice little, portable way to bypass proxies (included as one of the recommended plugins on this)
Srrsly, you guys make me lol every time and it’s
a bad thing because I’m at work when I lol. They
all stare at me. o.o
Is this the place I go to buy on that E-bay thing?
hahaahaha, this be my first comment, and that was just too funny
to not comment on
See. I knew someone was still counting.
Jumping jacks are harder than they look.
No they’re not.
They are if there was a fluffer involved before the filming started. But what we don’t know is how many of those guys are named Jack.
mmmmm, fluffer, sent chills up my spine. aggghhhhhahahahahhahah.
Mmmm… fluffy… OH WAIT JUST A GOSH DARN MINUTE!
*snork*
I was kinda hoping you wouldn’t see this one.
*Pulls up in Fluffer truck*
Somebody get the hose!
Matt, I feel dirty making sexual innuendo while looking at that picture of an adorable baby. It doesn’t stop me but I do feel dirty.
how do you think that baby got here in the first place, hm?
Well, see, there was this shamwow, right? And Mookie needed to freshen up…and someone, no names mentioned, had used it earlier for a little one-on-one time with himself, and then this giant stork came out of NOWHERE and he was the one that broke the lamp and hid a baby under this cabbage leaf.
It was a one time thing I promise…ok, maybe twice but definitely not more than three or four…or possibly 5.
*sigh*
I’m such a sham whore.
Oh, here B2th – you can have the ShamWow back. Lou and I used it for… well, nevermind. Just wash it in really hot water, k?
Holy back fat! What the hell did you do to this thing?!?!
Uh…
http://failblog.org/2009/01/06/hook-hanger-fail/?cp=all#comment-232951
ROFFLE!!! “¿Dónde está la ShamWow?” tee hee!!
He estado estudiando el espanol con mucha diligencia. (sorry too lazy to use accents). Y Lou es un profesor muy talentoso.
Hola Fluffy!
A study in The Netherlands found a correlation between the presence of storks and babies — more storks were found in the rural areas of the country, and that is where the larger families tended to be.
.
The Netherlands, of course, borders on Germany, where you know they always make good storks.
Did they do a study on cabbages as well?
Yes, and kings.
The also asked why the sea was boiling hot.
And whether pigs had wings?
*ducks* Incoming! *dodges pig poop*
Ugh, ducks have big poops but Canadian geese are way worse. And it’s green. Oh wait, you said pig, not big.
You you know those Germans, They make good stuff!
you’re joking right?….i have the coordination of an inebriated toddler and i can do them just dandy.
FAIL
No really?
first
more like 14th… fail
This is where the gomer pyle recruits train….
Well, gaaaaaw-ly!
breakdance for the win
boogey jacks for the lulz
Another one bites the dust… or just stumbles in it
What is this, boot camp for the borderline retarded?
Are they training to stop the illegally retarded?
“That’s a fact, Jack!”
Oooooh! Stripes reference FTW! Doncha just LUV Bill Murray in that one?
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRARMY Training SIR!
Is that like speed dating?
Yes, but without all the romance.
Romance schmomance. Who needs romance when a good coma afterwards does wonders?
A good comma?
A good mocha.
A good batata.
Hakuna batata! Ain’t no passing craze!
Oh, is THAT where the word “spork” comes from…
Useless tidbit: Spork is a tiny village in Germany where one of my great-grandfathers was born.
O_O :blush: I had no idea my name had such a sordid past…
Hey… don’t knock librarians.
A condom is the glass slipper for our generation. You slip one on when you meet a stranger. You dance all night, and then you throw it away. The condom, I mean, not the stranger. Unless it’s a librarian.
Librarianfanhere.
Andhere. Whyarewetypingwithnospaces? Ishouldn’tenterthreadsandjustdowhateveryoneelseisdoing.
I’msuchasheep.
MeToo. GonnaMarryOne.
This is sooo bad, that it looks like a setup.
I actually think it might be a “free publicity WIN.”
Maybe it’s a free Willy WIN?
Maybe its a my willy is free win, for a price.
A free willy for a price?
*slightly confused*
PRIVATE PYLE! Are you telling me you cant do even ONE proper jumping jack?? You are a disgrace to this squad!! Get off my field!!!!
Mmm, good!
me cago en los weones descoordinados…
movement sync FAIL
English Fail
You didn’t understand “movement sync?”
Weones, jaja.
or was this a case of running the guys so hard they are about to throw up and make them do jumping jacks?
First! Winz 4 mee!
Not First! 4 brain cells for you!
Pshaw that would not even suffice to form a complete reflex arc.
Please, I’m trying to hyperbolise here.
Please, I’m trying to metabolize here.
Please, I’m trying to metastasize here.
Please, I’m trying to euthanize here.
Please, I’m trying to fantasize here.
Please, I’m trying to eulogize her.
Damn! I didn’t even know she was sick.
That was out of the norm.
That was out of the blue.
The cat’s out of the bag.
That was out of left field.
The Schrodinger’s Cat’s out of the paradox.
That took a serpentine route.
*is still coiling and curving*
*duckin’ and divin’*
ARGH!!!!
Name change fail.
BUKKIT
You’re no whistle!
I feel so used
Maybe this will make you feel better.
*SQUEEEEEEEZE!*
*POP!!*
No need to call the ambulance after all.
Oh WHAT? Now I have to cancel the press conference and will get fined for nuisance calls to ambulances.
Please, I’m trying to apologize here.
*lends an e to medicat*
*saves “e” for another occasion*
Thanks, I might need that later.
Er, I might need that latr.
I accidenty my own jok.
Thats like Cute without the ‘e’ (cut from the team) Anyone?
“In mathematics and physics, an anyon is a type of particle that occurs only in two-dimensional systems. It is a generalization of the fermion and boson concept.”
… Didn’t get your joke, at first.
*cuts an anyon without crying*
You heartless brute, how could you!
*grabs anyon and runs out of room cradling it and sobbing*
Dang, I feel terrible now.
Welle, medicate’s gote ane e, that’ll helpe youe oute.
Completely off topic, this blog is having too much impact on my life. Someone just told me on AIM they are wide open when I asked when would be a good time for a conf call. I immediately replied “Sexy! I will get the potato”.
[13:16] sam: LOL, only you and Jesus would come up with that one and GROSS A POTATO????
So of course, I had to link him to the story.
Damn you failblog!
mmmm potatos
*flees*
Also, Ryannon, I once told my husband to change the baby because she had accidenty her diaper. he looked at me like I’d lost my mind. So, of course, I had to explain to him the whole story. Then he still looked at me like I’d lost my mind.
*sigh*
He just doesn’t get it.
I’ve found that it is best not to try to explain these little slip ups in normal society. It’s more trouble then it is worth, and the result is usually worse anyway.
Well, my friends/co-workers in Florida expect there to be double entendre in everything I say. Even when I am being innocent, they find sex in my comments to them. They even say there is a chapter in our HR manual that says if you see me or Jesus doing it, avoid it all costs because it will cost you your job. We are only here to set the example.
What does Florida have to do with it?
^= in FL… South Fla actually, but north of Mijammi.
neeevermind. that took a minute to sink in.
*has used the term “epic fail” in a meeting*
*has told her director she accidentally the email*
*assistant will not do anything unless I tell him he’s gonna commit epic fail if he doesn’t do it*
Just today, my brother… well… he broke the rules on his just-gotten driver’s license and left an incriminating AIM conversation on his computer. My mom and I found it. When he walked in the door, we were waiting, and we both pointed at him and yelled, “FAIL!!”
…trufax.
Sure, but did she accidentally the WHOLE diaper?
Alright Dan Quayle. This time there IS an e in potatoes.
Mwahaha, the plan is working… soon Failblog shall take over the world!
I KNEW it was a consp…a conspers…I KNEW it was an EVIL Plan!
Hey, if you don’t mind could you put up that link again. FAIL noobs like me are slightly confused.
Hey..just like in high school..!
Wow, we really do torture captured terrorists!
hehe
Next: Extreme Hopscotch
Is that like extreme ironing?
Extreme dishwashing!
And let this be a lesson to all you “first” trolls. This is what happens when the troll squad catches you. And be warned, they WILL catch you! I am rehabilitated and know the torture and humiliation they put you through first hand. OH GOD! I said first. Please don’t make me go back!
Sorry, Ryannon. You will have to face your worst fears.
*Burly FailSecurity guards drag Ryannon off to the camp*
Just please, no cavity search this time! *crosses fingers and pretends to be scared*
Oh, this will make Guantanamo Bay look like Disneyland.
Where’d you hide the potato?
I used instant potato flakes. They thought it was cocaine and everyone had potato flakes under their nose. Everything was great until they drank hot water. They had a heck of a time explaining the creamy white stuff above their lips.
rofl
Room 101.
A Clockwork Potato.
Anpu wouls be laughing at this if it weren’t so sad.
You ask Anpu about that money he owes me?
You’re thinking of a different Anpu. This Anpu get money by invading Xenuland, slaughtering a few thousand Scientologist fairy people, and selling their organs to hospitals and science and stuff. The Anpu you’re thinking of gets money by asking people for it. My Anpu is a jackal. Your Anpu is one of those guys in the video dancing during jumping jacks time.
They put the “special” in Special Ops.
At one point, one looks like he is doing the moguls down the slope and another looks like he is tapdancing.
They put the tard in retard.
They put the spring in Springfield.
They put the ? in WTF?
They put the 2th in Blue2thFairy. *chomp chomp nom nom nom*
They put the Ryan in…er they put the non in….yeah I got nothing…
*pouts*
What about ‘nanny’?
I put the nan in pounnany?
^ puts the “annon” in come on, let’s do it again!
They put the F in gorgeous. (favorite pick-up line)
Just going out on a limb here and guessing you’re still single.
Careful, you remember the last time you went out on a limb don’t you?
That damn roadrunner was hiding behind the tree trunk with a saw. Yes, how well do I remember.
I always melt at “do you have a hammer because I would really like to nail you”
or, “Did you fart? Because you blew me away”
“If you were the new burger at McDonalds you would be the Mcgorgeous!”
“I wanna bag you like some groceries.”
“Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?”
HAHAHAHA
True story. Most bad stories at work start with Jesus and I. Jesus and I were asked by a younger co-worker how he should approach a woman at the gym that he wants to talk to. We peppered him with pick up lines, really cheezy ones, including the hammer one and “nice shoes, wanna f*ck”. Apparently he listened and the next day he came in walking funny. We didn’t ask.
To find the airheads?
The “tang” in poontang?
That’s soooooo 1986
Must be why I fall for it every time. Ah, glory days.
It makes a young girl cry.
sounds like you and “Jesus is my co-pilot-worker” make The Boss cry, too
We’ve had 6 presidents and 3 CEO’s since I have worked there
You’ve been working since the Carter administraton??
i*! *still, what?*
OMG! Ryannon is really Bob Barker?
Look, spay and neuter your damn pets! (double post commences nao)
They put the “offs” in jumpin’ jack.
I lol’d.
the 3rd one from the right is beyond awesome
LOL, he’s my fav. *sings* YMCA!
I was thinking more along the lines of a Russian cossack dancer.
Gravity can be cruel sometimes.
Tell me when…I’m scared.
Just look at Third From The Right.
See the dancing scene in Airplane! if you want to learn to combat gravity.
This is what my 6 year old, autistic son looks like trying to do jumping jacks…please tell me that these “typical” adults eventually figured out how to do it right.
Hilarious.
That’s what I call serious secret training…
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
I kill you.
Can you spell that?
Let’s see, ‘A’ ‘C’ phlem.
Who are you and what have you done with the real Blue2th? Failbloggers demand to know!
Oh, sorry, Achmed. Didn’t recognize you.
Sorry, I just watched “Achmed the dead terrorist” video again for the 18 bazillonth time. My bad.
There’s a video? I only knew of the ad that pops up beside the comments.
Youtube it. You’ll LYAO.
Oh dear god! *forgot to ask everyone for warnings*
*is utterly, irrationally terrified by ventriloquism*
I wanna believe alcohol was involved…
Dude…that’s sad 2 c armed forces guys not know how to do simple jumping jacks…depressing and shameful…but it definitely made me laugh
Dude… You’re an idiot. This is the US training Afghans who have never had structured physical fitness program. Your intelligence and reasoning abilities (or lack there of) are depressing and shameful but also made me laugh.
It’s the U.S training the Afghan Army which is not familiar with traditional physical fitness training retard.
What…..the……f#@k……was…..that?
Case in point.
first post ever. anywhere.
Welcome to FB. The guided tour is about to begin.
Thanks, does it include a uniform and exercise portion? Cuz I think I can do jumping-jacks
There is no uniform as most people around here don’t wear clothing and exorcisms are all on Thursdays.
And Friday is BYOS Day. B2F is a shamwow whore so don’t leave yours unattended when he is around.
*scolds B2F*
I haven’t given you a job as tour guide yet.
Well, it’s fortunate that you’re not the boss then…isn’t it? :p
Yes, Ma’am.
*scuttles off*
*gives BF a cookie and a hug*
Are “Jumping Jacks” what you Americans say instead of “star jumps”?
I suppose, but where are you from that calls them star jumps?
*is scared about first time commenting on Fail Blog*
Im guessing that Mephiles is an Aussie, ’cause we Aussies call them Star Jumps.
*smiles timidly*
*Backs back into cyber no where land*
Awww come back out, we won’t hurt you. Unless you want us to and then we will call in the big dogs.
jess watch your backs when bending over towards mecca,
and we’ll try not to terrorazz you too hard with our smilies
*squeeze*
We call them Star Jumps in England too.
We call them Star Jumps on Mars, what a coincidence!
The United Kingdom. That’s what it’s called in commonwealth nations.
Are “Star Jumps” what you non-Americans call Jumping Jacks? If so, then yes.
I didn’t know there could possibly be a sissier name than jumping jacks, but I was wrong
Back in my day we called ‘em side straddle hops. But that was a long, long time ago in a place far, far away.
Must have been back in the time when Grandma flavoring was Sister flavoring.
…aunt, actually. But you’re on the right track.
Alderon?
Dantooine?
Could be. What are “star jumps”?
Used when looking for the planet Kobol; also called “FTL’s”.
Fuzz is a Cylon.
Shhh hassle-the-hoff, or your planet will be a gleaming star in the radiation background.
*nukes hassell-the-hoff from orbit … it’s the only way to be sure*
( … though he did have that talking car thing going for him for awhile … )
“Michael, there’s a man with a gun”
And I’m your dilly on the Predator.
*sigh*
It’s more an instructor fail than a jumping jack fail.
I wish people weren’t such asses. It’s just not funny… or appropriate
It looks like a few of them are trying that old “O!… H!…”
(Wait for it… Wait for it…)
*waits*
“I!…..O!”
Sorry, somebody had to do it.
Hang on, Sloopy,
Sloopy hang on!
O! H! I! O!
Round on the ends and high in the middle…. O HI O.
Thank you for coming through! I knew I could count on someone!
And it only took 5 minutes!
*baits*
in germany we call them “Hampelmänner”
In Soviet Russia, jack jumps you! (Couldn’t help myself)
You want ME to help you?
*evil grin*
Dragon!!!
I’ve got two questions for you:
1. Are you wearing pants?
2. Are you wearing pants?
Yes, but I just had a mammygram on another thread, so I’m not wearing something else at the moment.
*bigger grin*
*Hands Dragon a handkerchief . . . again.*
*looks at dinky little square of linen*
Gee…thanks. Sooooooooo thoughtful!
:p
I just thought you might catch a cold standing around like that.
You want YOU to help me?
*big smile*
in denmark we call them “Sprællemænd”, which directly translates to something like “Wiggle men” or “Kicking men” or something…
Wiggle men. I like it.
wow buba has been recorded!!! did you see buba on the video :-] buba is in the middle o/ buba is famous now.
seems like that one guy is doing it on purpose to mock the instructors…
you can’t possibly be that bad at jumping jacks
don’t be a hater just ’cause you ain’t got no soul. Some of us just gotta let it out. (…and we are generally the ones who should keep it in the most.)
it seems like the guy in the middle is just dancing…
He’s my favorite.
I like the guy to the left that keeps forgetting the actual “jump” portion. He’s just hopping in place, legs closed, waving his arms around.
All of them are named “Jack”?
Actually, since they’re non-American, they’re stars.
I know a Nemesis that may be looking for them…
That look suspiciously like Gitmo
That look suspiciously like YO MOMMA!
you’d think they’re all drunk
My favorite is the one doing the weird squats.
This from Reno 911
In defense for the poor guys, its irritating to count 1-2-3. A One-Two-One-Two would help.
one of them seemed to be doing ballet
THEY HAVE NO SELF-CONTROL!!! OwO
ONE guy gets it 100%. Second from the left.
yeah, but he’s not fun to look at.
lmao wtf was that
they look lyk theyre ready 2 vogue
Jumping Jack is quick and bold
With skill his story will unfold
THE BALLAD OF JUMPING JACK
A daring explorer named Jack
Once found a peculiar track
There were dangers galore
Even holes in the floor
So he kept falling flat on his back.
Quite soon he got used to the place
He could jump to escape from the chase
But without careful thought
His leaps came to nought
And he left with a much wider face.
Things seemed just as bad as could be
Hostile faces were all Jack could see
He tried to stay calm
And to come to no harm
But more often got squashed like a flea.
By now Jack was in a great flap
He felt like a rat in a trap
If only he’d guessed
That soon he could rest
After jumping the very last gap.
Sorry, it was the first thing that came into my head when I saw the title. I went through the comments to see if anyone else had put it down. Then I got here and thought, why would anyone else put it down?
hm, sad much?
hair apparent’s discussion of this video images strikes me as more balanced and authoritative
*Golf clap for Ryannon*
I didn’t want to spoil your comment by replying to it, but nice work.
This is why the Iraqi Security Forces suck so bad – they hired the retards.
Someone likes some Anne McCaffrey, eh?
staged…
In soviet russia, jacks jump you!
What is with the overuse of Yakov Smirnoff jokes lately?
Lately?
To Dilly, Dragon, Avis, Admiral and any one else who knows;
The results are in and the cancer is indeed back. Wednesday I check into the hospital for implant surgery, CT guided biopsy and the first of two chemos. The second batch is about three weeks later. Then, if I can convince DSHS to let me live, a bone marrow transplant at Fred Hutchinson.
Sorry for the news letter like format, but there is a wind storm here and the lights have gone off once already. I’ll try to say hi later.
The new avatar is me with my soon to be gone hair.
Oh, coyote. I’m pulling for and thinking about you, and I hope for your procedures to go as painlessly and well as they possibly can. I’ll say more soon, know that I care.
Oh btw, my new avatar is some solidarity for you. Revealing ourselves is a big deal.
Hey coyote, you kinda cute.
I’ll be thinking about you guy, and not just because you kinda cute.
And as a little offering — coming close to dying has played a big role in my spiritual life practice — the link in my name discusses some books by Stephen Levine, a lovely author with a lot of hospice work. He’s Buddhist, but one doesn’t need to be to get something from his writings.
Another reference is the “Last Lecture” video by Randy Pausch. It’s available on YouTube and is a lot of fun.
hugs and bows (the _()_ gassho kind, not the ribbon kind)
~ Dave
I am not kinda cute. I am devastatingly cute.
I am also not afraid of an ending. Dad died for the first time in ‘81 and finally in 2005. He saw what it was like and had no fear. He passed that calmness on to me.
If you start feeling down, ask your doc for a bottle of these.
http://www.lmmfao.com/images/funny-pictures/Fukitol-Pill.jpg
I’ll be thinking about you my friend. May your fabulously good soul find comfort in this trying time. Your limitless sense of humor will be your ally.
Perhaps Dilly can concoct a frock for a hairless Coyote…
Anything for this sweet, sexy canine.
Thanks for the thought, but remember that coyotes chase and consume hares.
Coyote, you are and will be in my thoughts and prayers.
*HUGS* Coyote! I mean, Devastatingly Cute Coyote!
Will be thinking about you, and waiting for your return.
*squeeze*
Thoughts are with you devestatingly cute coyote.
I hope you pull through ok.
My thoughts are with you coyote, please keep us posted as to your progress. Having been close to death myself I have an idea as to how much bravery it must take to have to face the possibility of it occurring earlier then expected.
I’ve never really posted before, but…
I wanted to let you know that I’m thinking of you and hope that all goes well as can be under the circumstances.
I hope you get better.
Good luck. *hugs* I can’t do much but power-of-will stuff, but I’ll do that anyways. *sends healing vibes your way*
Guatanamo prisoners jumping jack fail
How the hell do you mess up jumping jacks? I just wanna know.
Baby, baby, let me sleep on it –
I’ll give you an answer in the morning
Some paradise, m’dear? (Don’t you dare!)
A pair of what?
blessings
May she truly bless us. Amen.
*blesses*
Rapturous!
A, men. I love giving you rapture. *communes*
potato!
Best fail ever
*cough* *bullshit* *cough* http://failblog.org/2008/09/11/zorb-fail/
What is that an Iraqi PT session?
LOL
Talk about coordination. Some has it, some not has it. BTW they’re Afghans.
Fine then, this is why the AFGHANI security forces suck – they hired the retards.
There’s a companion video to this with them trying to do pushups. They couldn’t look any less retarded if they were drooling or wearing diapers.
Laughed my ass off. Then realized this was from Reno 911. Still funny.
I’ve watched this a few times and it still makes me laugh.
Why were hardly any of them doing it correctly?
I would say they are prisoners… They just get to do this exercices every week, and it seems they don’t like it
The guy dressed in black is so funny !
lol. huahuhauuaua
This must be the Physical Fitness portion of the retarded child education facility. I was unsure about the one on the far left, he worries me…
lmao!
I think Troy McLure should star in an instructional video about jumping jacks.
Were the people in that video impaired or was it a free style JJ contest?
what are those guys on??? Were they high?!?!!?!?!?!?
Bring this in a theatre, call it modern dance and people will pay good money to see it.
I think the guy in the middle is doing the Mashed Potato.
I counted two that got it.
I liked the one who didn’t jump at all and clapped when he raised his arms.
You see… now.. This is what happens when people take drugs, and listen to the voices that’s in their heads…
*retarded jumpingjack*
I win!
What is this? Some kind of juvienile camp?
lol, that guys just dancing…
One-two-three
hahahahaha
im beginning to wonder who allowed them to put on the uniforms!
…or live (:
hahahah jk!!!
aahahaha good job
I know this is a lame comment, but actually I didn’t find this video funny. This is probably tortured traumatized people. My friend works in a kindergarden were a six year old iraqian boy can’t even manage to get two toybricks to stand on each other, because he is to traumatized. This may not be the case here, but think about it.
i think their trying to get into the special forces
lolololol @ the guy furthest to the the camera view’s right… just kind of.. jumping and slightly flailing his arm’s
Concentration camp for the special?
you’re special
concentration camps were death camps used in world war II to murder millions of Jews and other non-Aryans
you fail.
woooow. *heavy sarcasam* i feel great having the country protected by them!
I lol’d.
And then I lol’d again.
And then, two minutes later, I just busted out laughing for no reason.
the BEST video ever
Was the one on the right doing the Running Man? WTF?
if this is the milltar, i don’t feel save!
I scare too
holy shit there retarded who is this iraq
thats the US army for you
semper fi
Originality win
one had absolute no clue on anything he was doing at least some had it down but failed at it
i watched this 10 times over again…and it never gets old!
i love the guy thats squatting with his arms over his head or the last guy on the left thats randomly flailing his limbs every which way XD
this is where people’s tax money is going to
is this retard camp?
the left end of the line is ok. and yes i can find that, dragonwriter.
they look like… like….
NINJAS!!!!
Wow, and in high school gym everyone stayed in tempo.
this is fuking hilarious
thats what u call the army hahaha
Ok, guys…can you find this?