Click to see G-Rated Pics and Movies Only
« Previous Parental Testimonial Fail | Parking Fail Next »
» 492 Failures in Communication
-
Recent Comments
TEHBIGCHEEZBURGER on Gangsta Fail Madness on HAPPY ST. PATTY’S D… Sarge on HAPPY ST. PATTY’S D… Joe on Soccer Kick Fail EMINƎM on Psychic Drawing FAIL No. on Bathroom Fail SpecialK on Truck Fail Judd on HAPPY ST. PATTY’S D… syrenz1 on Breakdance Fail Kyle on Late Night Snack Fail 
Cheezburger Network Blog
firs
poplars
Judas
lol u played the judas card.
fail
Douglas or Noble?
dammit!!
I ALWAYS SUCCEED!
i always secede
Confederate?
Alaskan. Baked, most likely.
half-baked, even more likely
Depends. Levi Johnston’s mom is almost certainly fully baked.
I ALWAYS SUCK SEED
bakin cookies
herbal cookies?
I’m pretty sure she sticks to brownies.
other lurl?
n/m; scrolldown cured it.
Doesn’t everything kinda stick to brownies? I mean…they’re kinda sticky.
Nope. Teflon® NEVER sticks to brownies!!! Your arteries, maybe, but not to the brownies!
Midget’s can’t read height signs.
dammit
You’re not me, I am!
Shame on you two, always me, me, me.
me
you
he
them
WE
username win
Why thank you!
“Me and you
and you and me…”
Us and Them
After all, we are only ordinary men
”No matter how they toss the dice, it has to be”
Makes me think about the girl I love.
You’re so happy together!
Like Turtle Doves.
“the only one for me is you, and you for me”
“the only one for me is you, and you for me. SO HAPPY TOGETHER!!!!!!!!!!!!”
lyrics win
It’s certainly less damage than other failtrucks we’ve seen here
It’s a fail in progress
At least no one was killed, apparently
Until they call their boss!
Hubert: Um, Mr. Van Dort sir, we had an accident with the truck.
Mr. Van Dort: OH! Wow! What happened? Are you OK?
Hubert: Um, Yeah, but the truck has no roof now.
Mr. Van Dort: HOW did you do THAT!!?
Hubert: Um, Bruce tried driving it under the train trestle down the street.
Mr. Van Dort: Didn’t you explain that the truck will not fit?
Hubert: Um, I did, but he said that he come to work under it every day just fine.
Mr. Van Dort: ARRRGH! Bruce rides a BICYCLE to work!
here is an “S” you can borrow Skwerlly
HAHAHA you’re giving him the S from your name!! HAHAHA thats HILARIOUS!!!
*sarcasm*
Yeah, Santa’s more of a giver than a lender.
*sees the sarcasm*
He neither a borrower nor a lender be.
um, what?
*siiiiiiiigh*
I would like to buy a vowel. You appear to have many, may i buy one from you?
No.
Neither will I lend you one, nor borrow.
Besides, he should be attempting to purchase a clue or two, not vowels.
You’re not very nice.
You’re new.
She’s snarky, but she’s fair about it.
Dragon does have two B’s or not. I’m never sure.
By the by, Avis is very nice. You might consider having a Danish and sweeten up. I will say no more since brevity is the soul of wit.
*sweeps in and smooches coyote*
You’re such a sweetie!
A smooch! Ah then this business is well ended.
Avis, I know I said it early for your birthday so now I will wish you a happy Belated Birthday.
BTW, I wish there was a contact me link on your blog.
It wouldn’t really help if there was one. My e-mail is down. But only if I attempt to access it from MY computer. I’m working on this.
And thank you!
Aren’t computers wonderful. They make life stress free.
Coyote…actually I have two D’s.
Don’t think that I won’t file that bit of information away.
Are we comparing bust sizes now?
Oh oh. Busted!
it’s always a shame when they don’t recognize Shakespeare.
Caucasian? Bald on top and long on the sides? Mustache and beard? Talks with a funny accent? Always seems to have an ink stained feather in his hand? That guy?
no that’s John Cleese.
shakespeare fail
========================
Nice List 2009:
ENTRY # —- NAME
‾‾‾‾‾‾‾‾‾‾‾‾‾‾‾‾‾‾‾‾‾‾‾‾‾‾‾‾‾‾‾
0928714 —-
kkkraig.
.
========================
Naughty List 2009:
ENTRY # —- NAME
‾‾‾‾‾‾‾‾‾‾‾‾‾‾‾‾‾‾‾‾‾‾‾‾‾‾‾‾‾‾‾
0000354 —- kkkraig
thanks, thats so thoughtful of you.
Don’t worry, you have almost a year till next Christmas and plenty
of time to rack up LOL’s on the Fail list.
Does Santa have a Fail List?
*goes off to ponder*
ginkgos
Comment placement fail. Self flagellation win.
Failure to sound intelligent.
Why, did you read it out loud?
Retort Win!
Retard fail. You can’t proclaim your own comment to be a win, that invalidates it automatically.
Psst Lunchbox, she’s alright. She’s a fast learner.
Yeah, I got that once I scrolled down… the whole Pointy Sisters/innuendo machine thing… I’ll be nicer ’til otherwise is warranted. Thanks!
@Boog/Lurl- welcome, don’t mind me, I’m cantankerous when I’m bored.
You’re bored…? Dayum…I was showing you my tats on the other thread. I’m insulted. :p
Ouch, I didn’t mean to insinuate I was bored by YOU dear Dragon! Just the opposite. I simply meant, I’m at work, again, and doing nothing. Again. Our headquarters station went out for a structure fire in one of the neighboring towns, but my station/truck stayed home. This li’l piggy didn’t go to market…
*wants to see again*
*wink*
*flashes*
*WOOOOOT*
I’d put a bag over my head, but there’s already a helmet there. Possibly my retard helmet. But in my defense, it was a decently funny come-back.
Indeed, it was. I lol’d, then got huffy-n-puffy. I can see now you’re going to be fun to have around!
Hiya
Biloba?
This is in Tilburg, amirite?
im sure its holland
Whose Holland?
Holland is a name in common usage given to two regions in the western part of the Netherlands. The name ‘Holland’ is also often mistakenly used to refer to the whole of The Netherlands. Holland is not the name of a person and/or dog.
He didn’t ask ‘WHO’S’ Holland, silly. He asked ‘whose’, and the answer is: the Netherlands’. Fancy apostrophe placement wins all around.
psh, what ever… stupid grammar
Which ever? Stupid grammar, indeed.
What? I said “what ever”, not “which ever”.
I’m so confused.
We know.
Don’t say “We know”! I did not know that Rula was confused, how would you know that I knew that Rula was confused? You didnt!
I was not replying to Rula. I was replying to you.
I’m confused.
We know.
We know.
Got it.
Did you go to the doctor about it?
We know.
Cicili?
We know.
It’s in front of the famous Schröder house in Utrecht.
sweet, this was close to me. i saw it, it happened a long time ago
My grandmother was born in Utrech before coming to Canada as a kid.
GOSH! It’s a small world!
I have a Grandmother too! She was sweet and close to me. She heard of Canada as a kid. I have eaten Canadian Grown carrots, it happened a long time ago! Did you know carrots have huge amounts of vitamin A or B or D? A, B, D are vitamins AND musical notes. You can’t play a carrot says my Grandma, but she is dead now. Is your’s? I’m sad now! Bye, nice to meet you Steve and JMRULEZZZ.
haha! research FAIL! you can play notes out of carrots: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vHV5ukFL0NU
win
…Okay, I think we now have evidence Ralph Wiggum can use the Internet.
who is Ralph Wiggum?
What rock do you live under?
Probably the same rock Sarah Palin has been living under for the past years.
Hee!
Russia?
“It says Choo Choo Choose Me”
“The doctor said I wouldn’t have so many nose bleeds if I kept my finger outta there”
Oh my god! are you serious?! I have a grandmother as well! What a crazy coincidence!
You think? Wow! I was born right there with my MOTHER in the same room as me!
I think my grammy was there too! She was alive too! I think!
k thanx
Truckin’ got my chips cashed in.
Keep truckin’, like the failah man.
Together, more or less in line, just keep truckin’ on.
Trucker got too involved in a typical daydream.
Casey Jones, you better watch that speed!
Sometimes the light’s all shinin’ on me;
Other times I can barely see.
Lately it occurred to me What a low, underpass it is.
Rhyme FAIL!
Dead recognition fail.
Tall van crashes, pouring its light into ashes …
sorry, I would have come with this an hour ago but my cxn failed.
You suck!
SANTA SAYS: BE NICE!
========================
Nice List 2009:
ENTRY # —- NAME
‾‾‾‾‾‾‾‾‾‾‾‾‾‾‾‾‾‾‾‾‾‾‾‾‾‾‾‾‾‾‾
0928714 —-
kkkraig0367110 —
Craig Deering.
.
========================
Naughty List 2009:
ENTRY # —- NAME
‾‾‾‾‾‾‾‾‾‾‾‾‾‾‾‾‾‾‾‾‾‾‾‾‾‾‾‾‾‾‾
0000354 —- kkkraig
0000355 — Craig Deering
kkkraig and Craig Deering are two different people, dont mistake me for this prole.
Yes kkkraig, SANTA knows. (please to note the differing ENTRY #’s)
And if you’re a good FAIL Blogger you might get back NICE status and receive some truly wonderful presents this year.
but thats like a year away…
Don’t hold your breath.
Thanks! thats a great tip! ill be sure to continue breathing. Glad you’re so caring!
Dammit, Avis…you missed SUCH an opportunity there.
I know, I know. Can’t win ‘em all. If I had been just a bit faster…
All, that alcohol in your system young lady! But since it was your birthday and all that, you’re not being put on the Naughty List. BUT, be forewarned, I read everyone’s Blog, (well, Google software I license does it for meand I get the reports).
Miss Dragon, watch the undue cursing, K?
But…but I thought that was due cursing!
My cursing was due? But, I didn’t even know about the assignment! Can I get extra credit to make up the grade? I’m VERY cooperative…
I know you are, darlin’.
*wink*
For some reason when I read the darlin’ part it had an Eva Gabor accent in my mind.
Good bye city life.
I think that I shall have flapsjacks for breakfast tomorrow.
Not a Spanish omelette?
It’s comforting to know we all start on the nice list.
It would be just too cruel to say I’d be Grateful if ^ were Dead, wouldn’t it?
Cruel to be kind, means that I love you.
It’s a very, very good sign, you know.
I think we are the Victim ^ is the Crime.
I love Grateful Dead humor. I think this is the extent of it. My love that is
Love hertz.
Love scars.
Only love can fill.
Love is all you need.
♫The Love Boat is making another run♫
Wish you were here.
Love American style.
Watts over me
“….and then this bridge just comes out of NOWHERE and cuts me off! And that’s why I forgot your birthday, honey. Honest!”
That’s ok. The wunder boner was such a bad gift, and then there was the dick-in-the-box year. I’ll just pick out my own gifts from now on. K?
Man, you just can’t be satisfied, can you????
I’m betting she can. I doubt it would be easy, but I think it worth the effort.
*would be*
would be worth the effort
I think faster than I can type.
…I have a slow hand
Hey, I want a man with a slow hand.
Alright, that’s it, I’m turning off the innuendo machine.
*flicks off switch*
Then I’ll just turn on my headlights.
(o)(o)
Given where the machine is usually located BFF, are you sure you want to do that?
*goes off to wash hands in chemical soap*
Hope that was the machines switch you flicked!
I really do hope so.
*sits in corner and rocks to and fro, murmuring softly to self*
*gives BFF a cookie*
There, there… just think happy thoughts.
Happy thoughts, happy thoughts…
*nibbles on cookie*
The phrase “nibble on cookie” automatically turns the innuendo machine back on.
lurl, you are welcome to attempt to turn it off again, but the machine is located in Lunchbox’s pants. I’m not entirely sure he’s gonna be ok with that.
Is it ever really off?
Noop. Always turned on, can’t get it off.
…SEE?
Leave it on for a few minutes- I’m trying to work out a way to bring the “I want a man with a slow hand” line and the emoticon of my boobies together with some sort of segue into calling them the Pointer Sisters.
I LOVE the Pointy Sisters. There’re so perky!
I LOVE the Pointy Sisters. They’re so perky.
I’ve really gotta find a new location for that machine… Now I’ve got all kinds of hands in my pants! BFF, you’re safe. I’ve taken to wearing protective gear, since the last time we burned up the innuendo machine. You couldn’t have come in contact with anything ’sordid’ down there.
Lurl, I don’t recommend trying to access the machine. It’s waaaaay too powerful for mere mortals to attend to. I have “special” training just for this purpose.
NORM!
Joint Application Form
[...]
Occupation: Innuendo Machine Operator
From: Director, Human Resources
To: Aja
Subj: Thank you for your recent application. We’re sorry to inform you that the position of Innuendo Machine Operator is currently WELL filled. If there are openings in the future, you will certainly be considered.
My birthday was YESTERDAY!!!
I survived though.
*hugs* Happy Birthday, sweetie!!!!
Thank you! *hugs*
I am kind of surprised I survived.
did you get a wunder boner?
Obviously your friends think highly of you and left enuff brain cells intact to form coherent sentence structure. That’s a good sign!
You should follow my name link and see how I post when totally three sheets to the wind!
Avis, you’re teasing me… nothing incoherent, just typical rambling blog posting
When drunk, I seem to think I am profound, that’s all.
That’s so deep.
Good Afternoon Avis.
How ya feeling today?
Surprisingly well. Tired, but not in pain. Thank God for small favors.
Happy un-Birthday Avis!
Aren’t you?
Think higher, loftier thoughts my dear one.
Perhaps you are mixing up profound with profane?
When I’m profound, you seem drunk
Well Happy Birthday! I know a few people who have birthdays in the first few days of the year. I bet you got ripped off for presents when you were young(er) because of the closeness to christmas!
Younger? STILL!! The family has gotten better about it. And my friends just take me out and pour too many drinks into me for my birthday. Not that I stop them or anything. I prefer my friends methods to my family’s.
Glad you survived!
*HUG*
Thanks *hugs*.
Hi mom, where is my birthday present?
Shut up! you got one underwear in chrismas
did you tell her that doesn’t count because she had to take them off to give them to you?
Eeeeewe!
… not necessarily.
Happy birthday Avis
Thank you!
Oh, Happy Birthday Avis!
Thanks!
Happy Birthday Avis
Uh… thanks… I don’t know you.
ya i know. i really dont know you either. is that a reason for not being kind? i need to get back on the nice list….
Happy Birthday Avis (though belated now i am sure)
Only by a day, and thank you!
Hey, Avis!! I know nobody has said this to you today, and I don’t really want to spill the beans, but… Happy Birthday!!!
*HUGS*
*snort!*
Thank you!
*HUGS back*
After reading past posts where you have made vague references to your age I was surprised at how young you are. You are but a child.
In response to something in your blog: I do know the secret to life (aka. why we are here). No joke. Won’t tell. Did once and got yelled at by a religious twit. The answer is obvious, visible most every day, has sound historical facts and reasoning behind it.
Enough clues. You are on your own now. That is your present, knowing that there is a purpose and you can find it.
Happy Birthday Youngster!
Hmmmm… that may take some thought.
And while I may be young in years, I’m told that I was born 20 years too late. Most of the folks I spend time with are about that much older than I. There are of course exceptions to this.
I’m 51 so that fits in nicely. I have often felt that I was born in the wrong time period. I just don’t know in which direction. Perhaps too early. You can always grab the best of the past for yourself.
Happy birthday, Avis. Thanks for the ewes.
Thank you and ummmm… you’re welcome… I guess.
It’s not like you to be sheepish Avis.
Wool it be better if she rammed her comment down norm’s proverbial throat?
Now, now. Be a lamb and calm down.
Sorry, I’ll be silent, and just graze the comments for a bit.
Watch out, he may fleece you!
Do you think that he might try to pull the wool over my eyes?
Well, he can be a baa(d) boy!
(When typed that, I had that one scene from “Aladdin” flash through my mind. I have seen that movie waaaay too many times.)
If he is just smack his muttonchops.
That would be udderly mean.
Not first!
not second
not third either
Nowhere near fourth
Far from fifth
Those signs are photoshopped.
I know, the triangle was supposed to be next to the “Z.”
what would the point of photoshopping the signs be? the fail is the truck, not the signs…
the signs say the fail is your comment, sorry.
Is that in THE NETHERLANDS? OMG my people are sooo immensely stupid!
ALL people are stupid
You mean to say all people are ignorant.
If you think about it, every person on earth is ignorant about something.
For example, if you asked Stephen Hawking on Pokemon, he would know next to nothing.
Are you kidding? He’d bust out his Pokeball and be all, “I choose YOU, Absolutel Magnitude!” and Ab Mag would blind his enemies with the light of a billion stars.
You know too much about Pokemon.
No, I know too much about physics. You can never know too much about Pokemon.
actually you can
Omg…you made me snork coffee all over my screen. Genuine LOL. You get a *HUG!*
ive nvr heard of snorking coffee, is it fun?
Sounds painful Dragon… Hope it wasn’t hot.
*hands Dragon a tall Sumatra roast from Starbucks*
Pariah!!! Starbucks=we’ll be stars by taking everyone’s bucks
I agree with you LB. In addition to the ridiculous pricing all of their coffee tastes burnt to me.
Their coffee IS Burnt by most coffee roasting standards. That way it imparts a darker color to otherwise inferior coffee beans and somewhat bitters the tastes . But most people that now drink “coffee shop” coffee never really drink it before and know NO Better. If they went to a nice local shop where the coffee is hand selected, roasted in house and handcrafted THEN they’d never go back to St@rBucks. Honestly I think plain old Waffle House Coffee is better.
I always laugh when I hear people brag about getting Starbucks… It just confirms they know nothing about good coffee. Give me Dunkin and I’m happy, or better yet, a burr grinder to brew my own from fresh beans.
.
By the way, Marius, where are you? You know too much about the NJ/NY tramps to be far away from here…
I am very picky about my coffee. I drink it black,
no sugar, so you can’t hide the bad taste of a
bad brew. I am also spoiled by my wife who
grinds and brews a pot for me every morning.
She doesn’t even drink coffee. The only coffee
I like aside from my wife’s is 7-11 Dark Mountain Blend.
.
Correct LB, I’m Long Island born and bred.
I never mastered the art of coffee or tea. I don’t drink either one. I would probably be bouncing off the walls, hyper 5 ways through Sunday if I drank it.
Ah, the caffeine-challenged. I can’t drink caffeine any more, so I have to put up with the harassment at work for drinking decaf. When I started working here, I brought a grinder and a bag of beans, and all the guys called me a pussy. Now THEY all bring flavored coffee for after-dinner sipping!
I love being a coffee snob, it’s fun to harass the others.
Just think Ryannon, all of your chores done in 15 minutes and 20 more projects half started by the time you crash.
MSG makes me hyper so I can’t eat Chinese food without driving myself crazy, much less drink coffee.
Now, just imagine what you could do with all that extra energy, with the right circumstances… MSG, however, is definitely out.
I love MSG. And processed stuff. I’m just about the unhealthiest person in my family. I got both the sweet and salty craving genes.
*hands Dragon a cup of organic coffee from Costa Rica*
Only until someone gets hurt…then it’s hillarious!
It’s only fun till someone gets hurt.
It’s only fun until someone gets hurt.
If at first you don’t succeed try, try again. You did make it in the end.
The hidden comments were messing me up, too.
They’re not hidden, you just can’t see them is all.
Finity you are so transparent.
Positively sheer.
Listen, buddy. I’m getting good and read to snork YOU, understand?
He seems to have very little in the way of the understanding skills.
Comprehensively challenged?
I can’t figure out what you mean, or to quote a great thinker “um, what?”.
It’s a play on comprehension, comprehensive and political correctness.
It was in reference to kkkraig and it sounded better in my head.
thanks, im glad i am respected in this community. Im sort of new and i dont really get some of the “inside jokes” that you all are having (i.e. bukkit).
Marius: I knew what you were saying it is my response that wasn’t clear. Is was not “understanding”.
kkkraig: Sorry if your good intentions are being misconstrued. We have had a nasty infestation of trolls of late making many, me included, to assume the worst. If there is anything I can do in supplying information to make things easier for you just ask me. A day or two ago I said to Avis that we need to start cataloging all of the references. They are getting a bit burdensome. Good luck.
ps., kkkraig: If it is any comfort I have ticked off Dragon and Avis to a very High degree once or twice.
Don’t be offended. Everyone gets knocked around on here until you get the hang of it. You should try to read some of the past fail posts and keep your head down if you are not sure about what is going on in a thread. The thing that gets most people irked is when you bust in on threads without adding to the puns or missing the pun and thus killing the “pun run”. It is hard to figure out at times, but after a while you can see when a particular group is doing their thing and when it is okay to join or interrupt. Remember not to take anything to heart as it is all in fun. Even some of the trolls are into the game with some of the troll hunters.
No Coyote, it is my fault for being slow. I caught the reference soon after I posted. Duh! I am now in need of said bukkit.
Weeks ago I posted a partial survival guide for beginners (which I can’t find). It had such pithy bits of advice as memorizing Shakespear and every other author, and having the emotional hide of a rhino. It also mentioned the popular option of “get a room” flirting.
I can’t imagine what you’re talking about.
*Snort*
“Get a room” flirting.
12th!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
STFUNEWB.
Whom are you addressing?
It is obviously addressing the “NEWB”, whom ever that may be…
Thanks. That cleared that right up!
Did he lend you some ointment?
Hee hee! I was thinking of that even as I hit “Add comment!”
I have often mentally screamed at my finger “DON’T PUSH THAT BUTTON!” when I have written something dangerously ambiguous.
Sadly, my mind only realizes the possible ambiguity of my own comments immediately AFTER I hit “Add Comment”.
I didn’t say that my finger ever listened to my screaming mind. I guess that I was ambiguous again. My mind and body are frequently not on speaking terms.
I don’t think my mind gets a chance to get the warning in! And I’m fairly certain my mind and body are at war.
Has your body taken up arms?
That would be quite an alARMing development…
Well I do have two of them. Arms that is.
You have the right to bare arms, bare legs, bare whatever you want.
*has a mind to bare it all!*
I figured that would get a rise out of you!
*grin*
(yes, I know what I just said)
I am willing to rise to any occasion, but don’t get an inflated opinion of me.
does this double as van Fail?
I saw them play at Madison Square Garden.
Fail Warning Tour, ‘81? I knew you looked familiar!
And you’re 28 you say?
My mom had a thing for David Lee Roth. Haven’t I proved my 28 y/o femaleness with this avatar I downloaded from yahoo! images- er- uploaded from my C drive?
She had a box seat.
More like a car seat.
Poor LB, he gets this all the time.
Well, it looks more to me like it crashed into the signpost.. :/
Why are people that stupid? I mean there are signs! Signs made for people to prevent that kind of situaltion!
What’s next? Pedestrians ignoring red lights??
The highway commisionler obvliously crelated the situaltion himslelf when he had the words photoshlopped out of all the sligns.
I like the word “photoshlopped”. I must find ways to use it.
Photoshlop
transitive verb, intransitive verb
The poorly-executed manipulation of a digital image.
Usage Example: “Any genius who lives in his mom’s basement and spends as much time as I do altering images of my genitals to resemble the Washinton Monument could see that this is totally photoshlopped… or are you just blind to pixel depth?”
Now I know the verb I accidenty the other day! Thank you so much for clearing that up…
We will also accept ‘photoslop’ and its variants ‘photoslopped,’ and ‘photosloppy.’
Photoplop: a shitty job.
Protoflop: The inoperative beta version.
Something tells me your ‘L’ key is a bit stuck.
Something tells me you don’t get the joke.
nobody tells me anything!
commisionler, obvliously, crelated, situaltion, himslelf, photoshlopped… you really hacked away at those words.
im not even sure what that is supposed to mean
Something tells me you don’t get the joke.
Now I’m a different color? Who do I have to innuendo to get registered in this place? “They” keep telling me the kittehs ate my profile. Why would the kitties do that? Why?
Don’t register. But do go to gravatar dot com and get yourself your very own personalized icon/avatar.
yes ma’m.
I was not speaking to you, Kraig.
I wasnt speakiing to you, Avis.
I think you may not understand this whole “reply” thing.
Nor the whole “spelling and punctuation” thing.
I’m replying, a lot actually.
I believe that they mean that you are replying improperly, a lot.
Try plying some thought and grammatical skill before you reply.
Furry One! Nice to see ya. And, if they did ply said grammatical skills, what would you/we roast them about?
Their bad taste in coffee?
Huzzah!
Hail LB. Well met. As for their bad taste in coffee, I have seen all of the Starbucks slamming going on here. As one who was born and raised here in Seattle, home of Starbucks, let me say this: Yeah, it’s boiled water poured through scorched peat moss.
Hey, don’t diss the peat moss… I know some very fine beverages with an aftertaste of peat moss. Coffee should not be one of them, nor should it cost more than the average shot of said beverages. I happily recommend Keurig’s little machines and cups, they’re pretty nice. I wonder if they’ll pay me for that plug? Nah, who wants the word of a food-carrying implement speaking for their product??? lol…
Who better to plug a food making implement than a food carrying one?
Why are you Lunchbox vs. Firetruck(er) or something therein anyway?
I’m Skwerlly Bob, named after the squirrel who lives in the live oak in my back yard. His mission in life is to make our 4 Schnauzers run 60ft sprints and bark a lot.
Food-carrying implements unite! (If you count from plate to mouth as “carrying”.)
I always do what I’m told on the internet. I should get a webcam.
So, why no register? How u get fancy hyper-link name? Will my dazzling gravatar work?
Where it asks for a URI (for some reason that translates to URL) type in the site you want to link to.
Worky-do?
Worky does!
Worky Work, Busy Bee.
Am I fancy, yet?
Yup! If you can’t see it yet, clear your cache.
Nice!
Ah yes- thank you for the tutelage!
WHAT are you? Skwerls gots bad eyes, cept for finding acorns..
I am: 28 y/o female wearing web-navigating protective headgear.
Very sensible of you. Is it troll-resistant?
It’s definitely Lunchbox resistant! I hurled an insult, and it came back at me as sarcastic humor! I like her already!
Pfft.
How can anyone resist Lunchbox?
God knows I can’t. He is lucky I left NJ. But I will be back in February fora week.
It resists Trolls, Intergnomes and Coultergeists (the latter are those wasted spirits that roam the nets spreading right-wing factual innacuracies). Intergnomes are mostly harmless beings who live in the basements of their mom’s hallow trees. They repeat jokes from xkcd and try to pass them off as their own. I believe they may also be responsible for all the “firstiness” I’m reading around here.
Thank you for being nice… I’ve been reading failblog for a while but I were skared 2 pohst.
Welcome!
*hug!*
Damn, I’m glad this is a work ‘puter… that way I can just call in a repair order to fix the keyboard I just spouted egg nog on! Lurl, that was damn near the funniest definition I’ve seen lately. Coultergeists! LMAO, and everyone at work is lookin’ at me strange! (well, they do that anyway, but still…)
.
Ryannon, what in God’s name would possess you to come back to this place? Especially in February??????? The state WILL be a better place, for that week, though, with you here…
Hmmm, she knows of “xkcd”! What about “LFHCfS” and
“AIR”? Does she read Sinfest? Could she be THAT nerdy?
LB, I have to come there to train some people on a new data process I have been working on here in Arkansas. Along with my new job, I am our corporate trainer so I will be back several times. I still have to train my replacement in NJ.
Blue Skwerlly Bob Boo?
No freaking way. Not again.
Careful, he will go “nuts” on you and flame you for implying he is pretending to be someone else. He probably just got all worked up about new meat on the blog and forgot to change his email. I have a new hero.
Ha ha! I clicked Roadkill’s name! Apparently war has been declared. *hides in a foxhole*
*hides with Mookie but lobs grenades to help the cause*
Thank you ladies. Next is Blue Santa Boo.
I really hate to point out… the name link is the same for Skwerlly and Blue. Not that that proves anything, of course. Just an observation.
.
Ry, when one is indispensible, one is irreplaceable. Not always the best of things, I have learned. However, it will be an honor to have you back in the Garden State.
Santa too? He is one of “them”?
LB, for four years, I had no life. I was on call 24/7 because of being indispensable. It is one of the reasons I was willing to move to AR. So a week out of my time to go train people on something I am passionate about and to see my friends in NJ, it’s worth it. And I will get to go into the city to my favorite restaurant. It’s a win/win since it is all on my company dime.
*wishes he had an expense account*
I agree, travel on the company checkbook is very nice indeed. I too spent four years of misery, because I knew how to operate a computer… and by operate a computer, I mean turn it on and make sure the wires are connected. Then call the people who actually know how to work on a computer. The ‘puter prob’s took over my work, and I got crapped on by the mid-level supervisors for not being out supervising my subordinates… though THEY were the ones going, “Hey, Alex, can you look at this?” or “Hey, Alex, can you fix this?”… the military is DUMB, my friend!!!
[/soapbox]
I got calls saying “I know you are off today but…” and half of them were from my twatboss that is the dumbest person on the planet. Even our tech support department got to where they would call me about other client problems because they didn’t know what to do. I feel your pain.
Kewl! I like females and I like nerdy females. Is there a link so that I might be able to gazing upon your femaleness beauty?
You would be safer if you said you were a 65 year old bald old man.
But she wouldn’t have near as much fun would she?
Skwerlly, it took me several tries to figure out your link refers to the LHC… I read it as “has hell destroyed the earth” with a few extra letters for confusion… the answer is really funny, though.
OK here’s how it works….
You know if you change the Name the email doesn’t necessarily change, thus wrong Avatar & maybe the link is screwed too.
————————————–
Skwerlly Bob is ME, the guy you all hate.
————————————-
Blu Bam Boo is my daughter who is 22
and uses my laptop when her lil’ sister
is using the other computer.
————————————-
NO, I’m not using anything else as a name.
I have accidentally used Blu Bam Boo
and she has accidentally used my
Skwerlly Bob.
I shall chastise daughter and flog myself.
I’ve been accidentying myselves a lot, too, lately, Sqwerlly, I hope this flogging isn’t mandatory…although I used to get a delicious Cape Cod after my early failblog floggings, might have to reinstate that tradition.
Blue Bam Boo is Bob’s 22 year old daughter, and her name is “Tom Trifik”. Weird name for a girl.
DAUGHTER?!? Bob! You — You — You couldn’t have! You wouldn’t betray me like that, my Bobby darling!
Never been to Paris? It’s a miracle if a pedestrian there crosses the street when the light is green…
Sign, sign everywhere a sign. Blocking out the scenery breaking my mind. Do this, don’t do that, can’t you read the sign?
Will it open up your mind?
I’ve been told my mind is a vast open space.
Dumb Dutch people…. (ahem, I’m Dutch too – but I don’t drive!
)
Wouldnt the truck be further under the tunnel if that much damage was caused to the top? and what would the point be of “photoshlopping” in the signs?
“R”
I’ll bet the van has a REVERSE GEAR!
umm, “R”?.. oh i get it.. wait, are you trying to make a joke?, maybe i dont get it.. please explain.
kkkraig, maybe they backed up?
ya i suppose that makes more sense then continuing going forward.
*facepalm*
And I thought my computer was slow!
What is that even supposed to mean?!
By all means, continue to prove my point.
*snorkity*
You’re saying I’m slow? Thats not very nice
We’re waiting for you to prove her wrong.
Chill pill, peeps.
The triple k is only trying to flirt with y’all. Don’t you remember kindergarten?
Yeah, I apparently flirted with girls by hitting them… it took a while until I got the ON part.
SANTA says: BE NICE!
I can see I’ll have to turn OFF the Naughty Alarm for the FAILBLOG web site and just total up the demerits Google tallies for me in November.
BTW: Flaming Trolls down is OK, just don’t make the cry, K?
Santa, that probably is the best idea. This is where we go to say and do the things that we can’t always do irl. (Though I have been told that I’m lucky no one has heard me when I have made snarky comments at their expense.) This is an outlet so we don’t do any real harm.
And my parents always wondered why I wouldn’t sit on Santa’s lap.
What if I wore a Santa suit? Would you THEN?
In a heartbeat!
*runs for basement*
*digs through boxes*
Be right with you, don’t go sittin’ on any laps before I get back!
LB, if you were Santa, you wouldn’t even need the mistletoe.
Hmmm, I think Christmas is making a resurgence in February…
I’d take time out to sit on your lap any month of the year.
Okidoki. Let me take this box off of my lap and you may have a seat.
What’s in the box?
The gift that keeps on giving.
A membership to the jelly of the month club?
I don’t think you’re ready for this jelly. (I can’t believe I quoted that horrible song)
I was going to reply with a massive innuendo club name to the jelly of the month zinger, but I didn’t want to get in a jam.
*tries to think of ways to insert reference to lollipop song*
Nope… fresh out… I think it’s curtains for my eyelids, for tonight. Be well, all, and thanks for the fun.
Lunchbox has left the cafeteria.
I’ve only been on this blog for 2 days….but there are those that consistentlymake me laugh,chuckle…snorkity…if you will. Avis..you are too funny
Awww *blushes* thank you!
♫ I like trucking,
I like trucking,
I like trucking and I like to truck…
I can see Rowan Atkinson wiggling his eyebrows now. I loved that show.
Is this in Xenuland? Because Anpu wouldn’t let anyone this stupid into Zepland. Especially not into the cities of Carouselambra or Led.
nah, this is in Oceania… ive never heard of those places though.
by the way, anpu is synonymous with the egyption god Anubus, who is the god of mummification and the Jackal. I dont believe Anubus owns any cities…
he just wanted to be cool to use some obscure names…
or should i say: capt. fail
you’re just mad because Anpu’s the only guy in town who hasn’t paid your mother for her “services”. Well, him and Lincoln, but you can’t really blame a dead guy for not hiring your mother.
I’m a little confused (nothing unusual there…)
I’m at the gravatar site and it wants me to enter a nickname on my “permanent record”.
Does this mean I’ll be neenerneenerneener everywhere, forever?
I think that’s just what THEY will call you. I’m not Avis there.
Thanks. How do you like it? It’s a first (eeek, that word) try.
Not very “neenerish”
Now, I don’t like what it did. It changed my old arbitrary one. Now if I change it It’ll change them all? Ugh.
It does change them all. If I use multiple ones will they stick. Shut up neener and try it.
Thks.
It looks fine!
Thanks! Happy belated b-day. I like your blog and look in from time to time.
Well thank you! And just so the rest of us know, how many of you are there? *grin*
I count three “neener”s!
Hey Dragon!
If I start a sentence with “Because …” but want to use ’cause, should I capitalize it like: ” ‘Cause”? I don’t think there is a capital apostrophe… .
I did have one client who wanted me to use lower case numbers, though. True!
‘Cuz why, now??
(Hee…that would be a “yup”…you capitalize the first letter.)
Bahahahahaha.
Nevermind. I went ahead with it.
Congratulations, I’m certain you’ll be happy with your new gender. Please, do let us know, okay?
(kidding, if you didn’t know… I just couldn’t turn down the opportunity)
I missed what caused the gender reference…. .
But! I do have a good story about a hat!
Yeah, it was one of those things that was probably only funny to me… “I went ahead with it.” It being gender reassignment surgery, in my twisted mind…
.
Do tell, a hat story? Those are always good.
I attended USC as a graduate music student, starting in 1980. As you may recall, in ‘78 or’79 Fleetwood Mac brought out the album “Tusk”. This featured the USC Marching Band on a track.
As a grad student I wasn’t asked to play in the marching band, though the undergrads were kind of coerced into it.
They had a special half-time show for the introduction of USC’s new band uniforms in conjunction with presenting USC with a gold record for Tusk. Fleetwood Mac was in attendance and appeared on the field.
Now, for me, having gone through 3 years of high school marching band and 4 years of college, I was definitely not into this at all. But they wanted to do a review of all the previous USC Marching Band uniforms up until the present day and they needed some more warm bodies to fill the uniforms. I was pressed into service. I got to wear an actual ~75 year old uniform. All ~50 or so of us (filling the remaining uniforms) marched onto the field (at the Coliseum) and performed something, and then we walked off.
Another larger group, in the next uniforms, performed and walked off. And so it went, until the new band in the present uniforms came down the big stairs, all 300+ of them and they performed “Tusk”, with Fleetwood Mac.
So, just before “Tusk” starts, Stevie Nicks comes running up to me and says: “Lindsay Buckingham wants to wear your hat!” I can’t really refuse, so I give her the hat and she runs onto the field and plops the hat on Lindsay Buckingham. “Tusk” plays with the band and Stevie holds up the gold record and gives it to the band director, the band marches off.
Stevie runs back to me and gives me the hat. This was on a Saturday.
On Sunday I decide to keep the hat.
On Monday I go to return the uniform without the hat and they ask: “Where’s the hat?” I reply Stevie Nicks took it to have Lindsay Buckingham wear it. They looked a little puzzled, but asked no more questions. I got the hat.
I put the hat on a low shelf next to my bed, upside down, which was a mistake. A couple weeks later my cat took a big runny crap in it. Perhaps she didn’t like Fleetwood Mac.
Everybody’s a critic.
Leave it to a cat to ruin a momento… Never was a Fleetwood/Stevie fan, though I don’t dislike them. Good story, though. I too have a ‘hat’ story, if you care to read…
Do tell…
Hahahaha I almost skipped the long story but it was so worth it.
I have a sock story but it doesn’t involve a cat or Stevie Nicks.
Ry, I’d love to hear about your ’socks’…
I was dating a guy in Miami and hooked my best friend up with his roommate. They had a third roommate that no one liked and we girls absolutely hated. DeAnn had to go to the bathroom and the hated guy was about to get in the shower so his clothes for work were in the bathroom, nicely folded on the back of the toilet. Hateful bastard said something mean to her after he used the last of the toilet paper. He really hated her because her and the boyfriend kept him awake at night when she slept over. Well, since there was no TP and his socks were brown, she used the next best thing and carefully folded them back the way they were. She came and grabbed me and said we had to go NOW. We left and neither of us ever went back. He got quite the squishy surprise when he came out of the shower and got dressed.
Ewww. You are SO not invited to my parties.
HAHAHAHA it wasn’t one of those “my friend” stories, it really was her. She had IBS and when you are 16 years old, it doesn’t seem as gross. I haven’t talked to her in years. But I can guarantee you, if I bring it up, both of us would bust out laughing.
Wow, I just made a mental note NEVER to put my dark colored socks in the bathroom. And to always make certain there’s plenty of TP (okay, I do that already, there’s little worse than running out).
.
I hope the guy deserved it, and from the sounds I think he did. He should have been stoked for his roomie to be getting some, not pissed about being kept awake. Every guy’s fantasy starts right there, and ends up with, “Dear Penthouse…”
He was a real jerk. He had not been in the US very long and was staying with his cousin who was the guy I was dating at the time. He would talk crap about “gringas” in front of me assuming I didn’t speak Spanish. I was glad she did it but really missed the bf for a while. My parents were glad it ended. They hated that I drove from Davie to Miami so much when he couldn’t come north.
You don’t have any more of those friends now, do you?
just posting to a newer thread: hope you understand
OK here’s how it works….
You know if you change the Name the email doesn’t necessarily change, thus wrong Avatar & maybe the link is screwed too.
————————————–
Skwerlly Bob is ME, the guy you all hate.
————————————-
Blu Bam Boo is my daughter who is 22
and uses my laptop when her lil’ sister
is using the other computer.
————————————-
NO, I’m not using anything else as a name.
I have accidentally used Blu Bam Boo
and she has accidentally used my
Skwerlly Bob.
I shall chastise daughter and flog myself.
Chastise, yes. Flog, no. Maybe put on a flea collar for a little while, just to get the bugs out.
Kids, kids, kids… they are so frustrating, aren’t they? My stepson- age 20- uses his mom’s and my laptop regularly… I have to make sure I’m on the right email address/user every time he does, lest I post my homework to HIS assignments!
_______________
Very glad you’re you, Bob. I would be disappointed to lose your royal furriness from here.
I haven’t seen much hate promulgated your way. Flog away – got pics?
Ryannon, it’s not like Davie is all that far from Miami, my grandfather on my mothers side moved from the latter to the former. It could have been worse, he could have lived in Tampa! I know what it’s like to have people speak another language in front of you assuming you don’t know what they’re saying. I enjoy messing with their minds.
Neener, unfortunately all my friends are either in NJ or Florida. So far, my only friend in Arkansas weighs 5 pounds and has to go outside on a leaash every 2 hours. But no, none of my other friends have ever done anything like that. Aside from DeAnn, pretty much all of my friends are guys.
Avis, when you are 16, almost 17, it can be far. Plus they lived in Kendall, way south.
OK, then. You (and not your friends) can come to my parties. Not that I actually sponsor parties, that is.
As long as there is no drinking on my part, I am there.
Tell it!
Okay, well… it was a beret, actually, but that’s semantics. I worked as a medic in Santa Barbara, CA, for several years. We covered the outdoor concert venue, the Santa Barbara Bowl for all the large events. I got picked to work the 311 concert, back in 1996 when they were pretty big. My partner and I spent hours washing and waxing the ambulance, got it all pretty for the event, then parked next to the stage for the show. During the opening act, I went to get a soda, and returned to find a gang of people leaning on the front of my truck, getting it all dirty. One of them, the one really messing up the truck, was wearing a burgundy beret, which I really wanted to go knock right off his head. I was very irritated, but said nothing.
When 311 went on stage, I walked around to see what they were all about. I only knew one of their songs back then… To my surprise, the guy with the burgundy beret was the lead singer, and the others were the rest of the band!
Needless to say, things would have been bad for me, had my type-A attitude won out.
Then there’s the time I got a hat from Neverland Ranch… but that’s for another day.
Today is that day!
Actually, not much of a story. Since Neverland Ranch is in Santa Barbara County, we covered there, too. The ranch hosts underpriviledged youth/inner-city kids/sick kids (Starlight Foundation, Make-A-Wish, etc.) for a day of fun. They have a huge barbeque, then watch a movie (Disney only) in MJ’s private full-sized theater complete with all the candy you could want. From there, they go on all the amusement park rides, like the dragon boat, ferris wheel, merry-go-round, bumber cars and more, then ride the full-size steam train up to the zoo. Remember the stories about MJ’s chimpanzees? I’ve held hands with them, they’re very friendly. And they wear diapers.
While the kids are there, the Ranch has an ambulance on site just in case anyone gets ill/injured. It’s a pretty sweet gig, since you get to do everything the kids do. Good food, good fun, nice kids. Never met MJ, but got to see his house many times. They would never tell us whether or not he was there…
The last time I was there, I got a hat from them, and a t-shirt. Fortunately, no kitties have defecated on them, to date.
When I was brought up the saying was: ♫”NeenerNeenerNeener”♫. Times being what they are now, probably only one would do. Call me old school.
Trying an new avatar. More neenerish. Let’s see if it works….
*crosses fingers*
Damn! Nesting failure.
Meh, not so good. These avatars are very small. Damn you failblog! We have the space….
I give it a thumbs up! (can’t see your jodhpurs, though!)
They are out of shot. Cropping is my friend.
It’s where the Prins Hendriklaan crosses the van Minsweerdlaan in Utrecht, the Netherlands.
This actually happens pretty often there, but not this bad. Mostly just scratches.
Yeah here it is:
http://maps.google.com/maps?f=q&hl=nl&geocode=&sll=37.0625,-95.677068&sspn=53.477264,79.101563&ie=UTF8&ll=52.085076,5.147581&spn=0.00032,0.000603&t=h&z=21
Mostly just drinks.
this happen all the time everywhere, plz stop posting pictures of this unfunny situation
Lol this fail is made in the Netherlands.. just so you guys know…
I know were that is!
http://maps.google.com/maps?f=q&hl=nl&geocode=&q=Prins+Hendriklaan+103,+Utrecht+3584+Utrecht,+Utrecht,+Netherlands&sll=52.085163,5.147671&sspn=0.000559,0.001727&ie=UTF8&ll=52.08508,5.147623&spn=0.000559,0.001727&t=h&z=19
Wow, you should really pay more attention to the previously posted comments
LOL, someone clearly has no business driving a truck! LOL
Jess
http://www.Privacy-Center.net
HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA i know that spot!! ahahahah omg i live 15 minutes away from there… it’s in the netherlands, utrecht, at the “rietveld-schröderhuis” XD!
UUTTREEGGGG
sukkel
ik loop altijd onder dat viaduct naar school, leuk omdat hier terug te vinden op een internationale site
Hahaha, that actually happened to my boyfriend once, on that same spot!
WTF? I live in this street! Laan van Minsweerd, Utrect (Netherlands), across the Rietveld-house. How funny!
NETHERLANDS! FTW!!!
Boudreaux and Thibodeaux are driving a truck, and they see a sign that says “Clearance 10 ft. 5 in.” They get out and measure the truck. It’s 11 ft. 10 in. Boudreaux looks around and says to Thibodeaux, “I don’t see no cops, do you???”
That’s really what happened
This is in the Netherlands.. I’m Dutch..
My people are stupid..
omfg I believe this is in my city 0_o