This reminds me of an epic Rocky Horror Picture Show audience participation line:
There’s a liiiiiiiiiiiiight, over at the Frankenstein Place
There’s a liiiiiiiiiiiiight
(APL: Where’s Santa?)
, burning in the fireplace
Yes, sir. I am implying that I, as a proud African American, am a racist against my own kind because we are inferior and deserve to be hung.
NO.
That club is obviously a lesbian only club. the fact that they hang a santa in an obvious reference to their delusions of superiority among other couples (Not saying all lesbians are feminists.), and in general their superiority as females(Given the right to give birth) and the fac that they hung a WHITE santa is a sick humoristical quirk of mine, that that hung a white one instead of a black one, considering that the club name is “eXclusive”
Right. So if you want to make obscene gestures to Blackup with your tongue you better do it inside that eXclusive club. You guys will be more comfortable, for sure.
Why? Is it sharp? They should put up a sign with a small message warning about the sharpness of this display. Then of course a much bigger message warning of the sharpness of the signs edges.
Though Santa was known for his weight, it was not the weight of his body that caused caused him so much grief as he was hung, but in fact the weight of Mrs. Claus’ heavy shopping bags that he was forced to carry around.
I think many of us know what this is like… just one shopping experience too many for poor old Claus…
I’ve taken the picture. It isn’t fake. The store is located at Av. Liberdade, Lisbon, Portugal. It’s a mix of souvenir and clothing store. The sign on the right shows that 0-16 years old male and female CLOTH is available.
I wonder about the sign written in Spanish on the right. There are a masculine & feminine logo plus a numerical range of anus.
This, and the fact Santa is not welcomed, give us a clue about the naughty things that are going on there.
I refuse to curse in Spanish except for the occasional Hijo de Put or Hijo de las cien Putas. I won’t even start on the regional curses I learned from my ex-husband and his family.
Damn! There’s so much fail in this thread! Anos… I know it’s been mentioned, but that’s “years” portuguese, a language which, incidentally, is spoken in its country country of origin, Portugal (a *neighbour* of Spain), and also in Brazil, a few countries in Africa and East Timor, capisce? I know this storefront, it’s alwayls filled with fail, but you fail at understanding the full scope of its fail. But your fail is just as good as the original, or dare I say it, better, so you get an F+ for effort
Now we’re going to do this in real time. You getting this, camera guy? This is blood. But look at here. That…that is your muscle, your tendons, your ligaments–that is going to smell. But the ShamWow…just dab it on the wound and already, boom. Half the blood gone. Now if you take the other half and just shove it in there, look. Like he never bled at all.
He was trying to smuggle those presents south of the border, but when he was tying them to the underbelly of the sleigh, he–and the cables–slipped. The rest is history. Santa wins a Darwin.
First! And exactly how I feel about Christmas, incidentally.
OMG RLY? O RLY NO WAY
Santa *played by Tom Dooley*
thats not nice:(
That Was Awesome!!!!
That’s what you get, you fat, drunk pedophile bastard!
No senor. No le gusta jodo en el burro. No le gusta racista. No le gusta ensen joder el burro. 01001001 00100000 01110111 01100001 01101110 01110100 00100000 01110100 01101111 00100000 01110010 01100001 01110000 01100101 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 01110010 00100000 01100001 01110011 01110011 00100000 01110011 01101111 00100000 01101000 01100001 01110010 01100100 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 00100111 01101100 01101100 00100000 01101110 01100101 01110110 01100101 01110010 00100000 01110111 01100001 01101100 01101011 00100000 01110011 01110100 01110010 01100001 01101001 01100111 01101000 01110100 00100000 01100110 01101111 01110010 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 01110010 00100000 01101110 01100101 01111000 01110100 00100000 01110100 01101000 01110010 01100101 01100101 00100000 01101100 01101001 01100110 01100101 01110100 01101001 01101101 01100101 01110011 00101110 00100000 01010100 01101000 01100101 01101110 00101100 00100000 01001001 00100111 01101101 00100000 01100111 01101111 01101110 01101110 01100001 00100000 01100110 01110101 01100011 01101011 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 01110010 00100000 01110011 01101001 01110011 01110100 01100101 01110010 00100000 01110011 01101111 00100000 01101000 01100001 01110010 01100100 00101100 00100000 01110011 01101000 01100101 00100010 01101100 01101100 00100000 01100001 01101100 01110111 01100001 01111001 01110011 00100000 01100010 01100101 00100000 01110000 01110010 01100101 01100111 01101110 01100001 01101110 01110100 00101110 00001101 00001010 Ahora figure eso fuera, la ramera.
010001110110100101110110011001010010000001101001011101000010000001110100011011110010000001101101011001010010110000100000011000100110000101100010011110010000110100001010
@crazyillegalmexicanrapist: how do u know he has a sister?
01000000011000110111001001100001011110100111100101101001011011000110110001100101011001110110000101101100011011010110010101111000011010010110001101100001011011100111001001100001011100000110100101110011011101000011101000100000011010000110111101110111001000000110010001101111001000000111010100100000011010110110111001101111011101110010000001101000011001010010000001101000011000010111001100100000011000010010000001110011011010010111001101110100011001010111001000111111
Can anybody honestly say that if they had to do what he does they wouldn’t do the same thing?
This reminds me of an epic Rocky Horror Picture Show audience participation line:
There’s a liiiiiiiiiiiiight, over at the Frankenstein Place
There’s a liiiiiiiiiiiiight
(APL: Where’s Santa?)
, burning in the fireplace
cheated 2nd place. looks like cheates can win somthing
fail
that’s what happened when i saw mommy kissing santa claus
Santa just couldn’t take it anymore.
You’re right. This is not FAIL. this is WIN
Hanging Santa out to dry after the season…
Oh and 1st!!
-Doc
First Fail…
Hehe…
Oh and Fail!!
-Buff
Nice.
Naughty.
Noob
Ninja.
Pirate.
ZOMBIE ROBOT
Aw
cookie.
chocolate bar
Breaker bar.
combo breaker?
hersheys crakel
Crowbar
piece of shit
Lynchin’ Santa. Is that a new holiday pastime?
It’s payback time from all the kiddies in the past that didn’t get their presents…
So that’s why I didn’t get my coal this year…
Yeah, apparently Santa couldn’t get his lumps out in that hetero bar…
It’s about time an old fat white guy was the lynchEE, instead of the other way around.
but that santa ain’t black like me.
Are you implying that only black people can be hung? And if so, is the obvious pun intentional or do you mean it literally?
Yes, sir. I am implying that I, as a proud African American, am a racist against my own kind because we are inferior and deserve to be hung.
NO.
That club is obviously a lesbian only club. the fact that they hang a santa in an obvious reference to their delusions of superiority among other couples (Not saying all lesbians are feminists.), and in general their superiority as females(Given the right to give birth) and the fac that they hung a WHITE santa is a sick humoristical quirk of mine, that that hung a white one instead of a black one, considering that the club name is “eXclusive”
So what about the sign in the corner with the male and female symbol
on it?
oh.
hmm.
I thought it was two female thingers.
My moniter is extremely shitty.
My joke failed. I shall An Hero now for the sake of anon.
Looks like it’s an exclusive hetero club…Poor Santa got bounced…
Exclusive hetero club for people aged 0-16 anos. Oh boy, blackup, epic interpretation fail.
How did the “club” thing work its way into this? It’s for people 0-16 years old, and the hanging guy has shopping bags. Is it a shopping club?
Fluffy, look slightly to the right of the santa.
It doesn’t say club…
Maybe fluffy is right.
It says “anus” in Spanish…
Maybe Fluffy don’t want to check if she is right or wrong.
Only one way to find out…I’ma goin’ shopping…
I heard they carry potatoes…
OUCH! OMG yes…they…do…
I forgot to push out. My bad.
Does the vicar run the store?
So the sign lets you in if you have 0 to 16 anuses (anii?)? Do I want to meet anyone that gets refused entry?
Oooooh, this thread has SO MUCH FAIL in it…! Hee…just what I needed this morning!
And OBVIOUSLY that is a store in which you can purchase either a male or female person between 0 and 16 years old. Duh!
It really does mean anus, so tecnically they’re right. They are implying age, but they unfortunately forgot to put the accent mark on the ‘n’ -_-
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Now that’s “Disturbed.”
So, no pun then?
That’s strange, : P makes
which is the same as what : D makes.
Right. So if you want to make obscene gestures to Blackup with your tongue you better do it inside that eXclusive club. You guys will be more comfortable, for sure.
O.O
*testing*
:/
:O
:B
:-*)
:-/
OMG
:>
<3
ohhh yes.
\m/
*<<{:-}}}
^– Look! It’s Santa!
:X
At last someone got the right idea…
Hey Santz howz it hangin’ lol
He’s a-holding on… to what he’s got…
cuz it doesn’t make a difference if he makes it or not…
hes got himself, and and thats enough for loooove
ohhhhhhhhhhhh hes half way there
OHHHHHHHHH-OHH…
Living on a prayer
So many kids would be scarred by that!
now you’re talking
Why? Is it sharp? They should put up a sign with a small message warning about the sharpness of this display. Then of course a much bigger message warning of the sharpness of the signs edges.
did you accidenty your skin tissue?
The whole thing?!
*insert witty comment about mistletoe, hanging, and oranges here*
ho ho hung
you gotta wonder how many oranges and bunches of mistletoe the big guy was packing when he got well hung…
OMG FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST!!!!oneoneone
So what if you’re first? Do people really feel the need to be a jackass on EVERY SINGLE comment log?
Feeling happy this year?
Yes, it’s a tradition, like hanging Santa Claus!
FIRST
a true fail. How many times did your resolution want you to fail this year?
posting bullshit to see your name on failblog: EPICFAIL.
Especially when your name is kjn;kouipbhinipjo;lk.
i’m smiling
Really? I thought you were Buff. IMPOSTER!
Loved that one.
kjn;kouipbhinipjo;lk is right handed, apparently. Off topic, I know.
Or maybe is left handed, but the left hand was busy preventing proper blood circulation to the brain.
Yeah, nice. Well, it was choking something…
On a chicken bone?
*masturbates*
Your mother must be so proud.
Didn’t she tell you so just last night?
No, its blubb. See? b-l-u-b-b.
OH NOES THEY LYNCHED THE SANTA CLAUS !! >:<
NOOOOOOEESSSSS ;_;
buba is terribly sad.
Not first!
Are you serious? I’m gobsmacked!
You might want to get some cream for that.
No, just rub a taco on your kneecaps
Gobsmacked? Are you sure you’re not British?
Bloody hell, what would make you say that?
lets forget this bloody incident and go play some cricket
Stirling suggestion, old chap.
Bangers and mash.
Bubbles and squeak.
Smoked eel pie.
HAGGIS!!
There you go Santa!!! That’s for not getting me what I wanted!!!!!!
Burn in HELL!!!!!!!!
He shall burn where I dine.
What, in the bin? I suppose bin fires aren’t that rare.
Oooh, can i join you? its cold here…
I’m safe next year! Now he can’t slide naked and covered in oil down my chimney. Ah, sweet safety.
I wish I had a chimney.
*sighs*
I gots one of two chimineas on this blog!
Does I got the other?
You spelled gots wrong.
Good thing her memory’s spot on. I was gonna suggest the Mookie fire it up NYE, but d’you think I could find my marshmallows! Nvm.
Now people will start putting warnings on shop doors –
SHOPPING KILLS
They put that on the door of Wal-Mart.
lol burn
moo ;(
AHHHHHHH!!! PLEASE STOP THE MOOING!!!
*screams and runs out of room*
But it’s looking a bit depressed today, don’t you think?
Maybe it’s a moo for help.
There, there…Santa’s just resting…
)
*passes cow some clover*
.
.
(psst BFF, that’ll help with the mooing too
I have to say…I’m rather fond of the moo-cow.
Though Santa was known for his weight, it was not the weight of his body that caused caused him so much grief as he was hung, but in fact the weight of Mrs. Claus’ heavy shopping bags that he was forced to carry around.
I think many of us know what this is like… just one shopping experience too many for poor old Claus…
You think we can’t take out the really strong guys? Check out our latest victim. THIS! IS! SANTAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ok, just to get it over with: ZOMG!!! Can’t you ppl c dat da pichta is Photoshopped! teh pixels Iz all Rong!!!
ZOMG!!!! Can’t you people see that your a TROLL!?!?!!? Your pixels Iz all Rong
I’ve taken the picture. It isn’t fake. The store is located at Av. Liberdade, Lisbon, Portugal. It’s a mix of souvenir and clothing store. The sign on the right shows that 0-16 years old male and female CLOTH is available.
Ha! Told you it wasn’t a club!
Thanks for ’splaining, Sergio.
I went to a friend’s house yesterday and he had 2 of those, without the modern paper shopping bags.
“modern” paper shopping bags? Where have you been all this time Maynard? Paper bags have been around for quite some time.
the “modern” period refers to twentieth century works
Don’t you have some masturbating to finish?
That post was a few minutes before the last one. He’s done.
Erm…he’s also wrong. The Modern period refers to the 19th and 20th centuries.
SHHHH!! He’s alive!
I just heard him say something…
All he was saying was Ho. I think he was trying to point something out.
After reading some of Santa comments, yes I can believe he was asking for a Ho.
for his weekly rapes?
He just caught someone trespassing, that’s all.
I wonder about the sign written in Spanish on the right. There are a masculine & feminine logo plus a numerical range of anus.
This, and the fact Santa is not welcomed, give us a clue about the naughty things that are going on there.
Do the numbers refer to the diameters or the circumferences?
centimeters or inches?
I think that DrB has all answers.
Yeah, ouch. Last time I go shopping out of curiosity.
*hobbles off*
why do you refer to anos as anus?
Because of the Spanish translation.
Anos = years
Is this a reference to a previous fail or something?
Año = year
Ano = anus
He accidenty his tilde. It’s a nuance you might not want to overlook when you visit Spain.
K…
I see.
I leave off my tilde everytime I type culo for ass. Am I using the wrong word?
No
Umm next.
You would be doing ok saving some tildes. You may need to use one when you say cono.
I refuse to curse in Spanish except for the occasional Hijo de Put or Hijo de las cien Putas. I won’t even start on the regional curses I learned from my ex-husband and his family.
*inserts a after Put*
In Spain, coño has some uses other from cursing. I think that this word is not so popular in other LatAm countries.
I know which of his regions you were cursing, too.
Please tell me I am not wrong. I would had said many weird thing to Spanish guys when wishing them a happy new year!!
That would explain the black eye.
You’re right, I did not know that.
The things that I said to their girlfriends explain the black eye.
Such as, ¿Cuántos anos tienes?
Yo tengo un ano. Quiere mirarlo?
Ya lo he visto, ¿no te recuerdes, Pookie?
OK – free online translation came back with “I am one year old. Does it want to look at it?” I’m guessing that’s NOT what you said…
la mujer loco esta volado
And, ¿como piensas disfrutar este ano?
Do you say that while holding a potato in your hand?
If you don’t like the potato we will think of something else…
Gives a whole new meaning to “¿quien es tu papa?”
Lo voy a disfrutar contigo, por supuesto.
Great, at this rate I am running out of cold water in my shower for the whole 2009!
Pobre de ti. Puedo ayudarte con algo?
Quizás susurrandome cosas sucias en español…
Los labios te tocan como un suspiro… aquÃ… y aquÃ… y aquÃ… ¿a ti te gusta?
Oh holy! This is DW and AA in Spanish.
Oh si…
¡Esos labios son suaves como la seda y dulces como la miel!
La piel tiene buen sabor, como sal…
Y un delicioso escalofrÃo recorre mi cuerpo, mis sentidos y mi corazón
Um, ¿hay espacio en la ducha frÃa para mÃ?
Hay espacio, pero si vienes tu quizás podamos usar agua caliente
Creo que ya estamos bastante calientes…
Are you two using a translator?
*me toca*
FYI me toca mean I play myself, NOT i touch
myself.
Lou doesn’t need a translator.
He he he. Nor do I.
Tengo tus anos?
¡Damelos, los necesito!
El no se puede, yo los comi ayer.
Another Festivus victim…
Someone had a very big grievance to air.
Uh-oh.
*looks around for dilly*
Ele não trouxe o presente que pedi.
Pedi? Do you have a foot fetish or are you offering pedicures? I just got one yesterday, I wish I had known you do them.
Whoops! He’s just hanging around! LOL
http://www.privacy-tools.at.tc
I am not happy about this! ELVES! More Eggnog! More Rum!
Santa, the elves are revolting.
Deck the malls with hanging Santas,
fa la la la la, la la la la
Santa is the universal sign of corporate greed. He should be hung and castrated at every available opportunity.
Whoa!
Santa got hanged for breaking and entering.
noooooooooooooooo!!!!!
not santa!!! anyone but santa!!!
*grabs axe and kills racist people*
AHA! i KNEW he was real!
Must be a scene from Tim Burton’s The Nightmare Before Christmas: The Musical.
Man, talk about exclusive….
Damn! There’s so much fail in this thread! Anos… I know it’s been mentioned, but that’s “years” portuguese, a language which, incidentally, is spoken in its country country of origin, Portugal (a *neighbour* of Spain), and also in Brazil, a few countries in Africa and East Timor, capisce? I know this storefront, it’s alwayls filled with fail, but you fail at understanding the full scope of its fail. But your fail is just as good as the original, or dare I say it, better, so you get an F+ for effort
Yeah, and I really meant to say “alwayls”
*shoots himself*
*Takes Shamwow and stuffs it in João’s self-inflicted wound.*
You do not want to die here. People do things with unattended bodies.
Now we’re going to do this in real time. You getting this, camera guy? This is blood. But look at here. That…that is your muscle, your tendons, your ligaments–that is going to smell. But the ShamWow…just dab it on the wound and already, boom. Half the blood gone. Now if you take the other half and just shove it in there, look. Like he never bled at all.
Did you shoot yourself in the anos, hombre?
I didn’t know Santa was so well hung…
Hanging Santa is bad enough, but did they have hack off the lower part of his body too?
I know exactly how he feels!!!
It’s a totally win!!!!
Santa?
The Yellow peanut M&M has arrived on FAIL Blog!
what the hell? its santa!
What the salma? It’s Captain Obvious!
When Santa forgets his anti-depressants
He was trying to smuggle those presents south of the border, but when he was tying them to the underbelly of the sleigh, he–and the cables–slipped. The rest is history. Santa wins a Darwin.
Makes you think: How did the employee not notice this when putting it up?
Oh, well- we shall never know.
isnt this a santa dead WIN??
santa no!!!!! i blame kids today, it finaly pushed him over the edge.
OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ultimate Santa Fail
its not santa its one of his helpers! right?!
What does it mean? What does it all mean
It is a sad day for Christmas everywhere.