Submitted by Josh T
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First to be free!
Pointless…
eru
couldn’t..
shouldn’t
Very clever that trick of changing your name for replying yourself.
I have to tell Dilly and Fuzz about that…
On second thought, I’ll let them figure it out for themselves.
Are you implying Dilly and Fuzz are doing this already? But they can’t be the same person, they use different avatars and that would take a lot of effort to keep them separate. And I would hate to think of the time and effort it would take to keep multiple “personas” separate without people catching on.
What makes you so sure it’s the same person replying to themselves?
Yeah, good question! How do they know that?
BTW – you are so good looking! You’re like the coolest person ever!
in soviet russia OJ aint do you.
they accidenty the verb tense.
Are we still debating this?
Fuzz. . .are you wearing a Dilettante suit?
Nah, it’s me, wearing a me suit. Fuzz didn’t want a suit unless it ws made of real dilettantes, it was creepy.
a, there^!
Not really Dilly. I was just reminded when Santa posted.
They always get caught.
*evil grin*
Dude, you guys are all the same person. It’s just the two of us on here, isn’t it?
wouldn’t
Aint’nt
puddin’t
puddin tane….ask me again, I’ll tell you the same
Poontang…it’s not just for breakfast anymore.
Punani, the breakfast of champions.
Taint that right!
Twat are you talking about?
I don’t know, I just overheard a snatch of the conversation.
They were very complimentary of you. They gashed on and on about you.
No one muffed up their words of praise.
Well there was this one little squirt who just kept running her lips on and on and on.
Jizz you guys, is there nothing you can talk about besides naughty bits?
tiddle and bits, tiddles and bits, I cant get enough of tiddles and bits!
Jizzers Christ you guys!
The first sign of addiction is penile. But together we can reach a climactic end and have this problem licked!
To quote family guy -
I felt like I had a void inside me, a secret hole that nobody could see – I felt I had to fill that hole with all kinds of expensive things – and when they were filling my hole, it felt so wonderful – I did this to myself, so I’m just gunna have to lie back and let the penal system teach me a lesson
FAMILY GUY FTW
you pussies are getting really anal about these penis chokes.
Gee, I need a vag to clean up my keyboard now.
I hope that plan isnt a boner that blows up on your face.
What a sad and pathetic life you live by striving to be the first person to type FIRST. Are you proud of yourself? Here’s a thought: Get off the welfare, quit scabbing wi-fi from your neighbor and get a damn job.
Because all people that say first are jobless…
But do all jobless people say first?
*draws venn diagram* No, it appears that some jobless people prefer to say, “Please just touch it once.”
But just like potato chips, hot wings, beer, liqour and women, once is never enough.
Women? Baby you ain’t been with me yet. Once is all it takes.
That fertile huh?
*scooches*
Oh no, not that at all. I can’t get pregnant if you paid me. But if you want to pay me, I can keep trying.
*scooches back*
All I have is this confederate currency. Oh, and these seashells and ocean glass.
I cant make babies either, but I sure do like going through the motions!
My baby making days are over with my currrent wife.
I like the “current” part. Is that akin to when I referred to my ex-husband as my first husband even while we were married?
No worrrys, I’m storring extrra “Rs” in my comments for use at a laterr time.
Oh? *wink wink*
I like introducing mine as “my future ex-wife”, I get all tingly after she slaps me in the head.
I had language on my side. My ex never understood the joke and just smiled.
I introduced my first wife as my future ex as well. I think it was
reassuring for her… and it kept me away from depression…
^ moniker illeterate
Yeah, there are two t’s in letter.
But see, I’m a perfectionist to some degree and with repitition to achieve perfection, once is definitely not going to be enough
Jeez you and your damn links.
Ah baby, so sorry. as soon as I get my myspace updated I will put that link in there for you. lol
The funny thing is, my grandmother was Cherokee.
Thats my home tribe for my location (link in my name). The Wolf Clan is also a large clan too in the southeast area. I look like a white man with a very dark complexion. My grandmother, grandfather and great gran were half and full blooded. my great gran had the longest snow white hair I have ever seen and I used to help her brush it when her hands started going bad. I miss her.
Aww….*HUG!*
She sounds lovely.
She was, but you never wanted to get on her bad side, you would rather go into a cage of hungry lions wear steak underpants than mess with her.
Hey!
Stop peeking in my underwear drawer! :p
*breaks out charbroil grill* How would you like your undies? med., rare, med. rare? I aim to plz.
Finally! A man that aims.
But didn’t both of you say the word “first”
Sounds like you could use another glass of haterade.
Im sure hes of African American culture.
A winner for grammar in Arkansas!
i aint do it either
Born to be dead.
Articulate.
Cruel to be kind.
Means that I love you.
at least he didnt say first
That’s right, he did her.
on the sofa…
with jimmy hoffa
and the loch ness monster…
In the drawing room, with a lead pipe.
After passing go, receiving $200
He went directly to jail.
He said, ” It wasn’t me”
with his bloody gloved hands crossing his fingers behind his back so as not to really be lying, because crossies cancels out telling a lie.
the muffled sound of the trickle of still-worm blood onto the wool
carpet alerted his mother’s spider sense, who jumped out of bed still
in her pajamas and caught the blood in mid-air to avoid harmful
staining effects on her new rug.
Suddenly, it dawned on him. She knew. She would have to be
killed. Just like the others.
mmmm….worm blood.
gummy worm blood, sticky cherry juice.
Creeping with the girl next door?
She never took her eyes off me.
You the girl next door?
No, I am the girl in the bushes with the binoculars.
Well don’t just sit there spectating, come on and join the game.
And get caught up in the ASPCA sting that is about to come down on you?
You called them didn’t you? Man, they were costumes for a fetish movie I am making, their not real, well except the gerbil, monkey and snake. ****Disclaimer: No animals were harmed in the maaking, filming or production of this movie. Professional handlers were on staff and monitoring the use of animals ****
I didn’t want to but I was scared when I saw that hairstylist looking at the gerbil menacingly while holding a pair of clippers.
Oh, she was trying to figure out if it would be best to shave it or use nair for the next scene, I of course told her nair, stubble might cause chafing that we would not want to deal with.
On the front lawn with a chain saw.
Free Orange Juice
Awesome.
That’s what I thought it was about before my brain could unscramble the language abuse below it.
Would Language mind being tied up with some red ribbon?
As long as it doesn’t chafe I believe it wouldn’t mind, maybe something in a real soft polyester-cotton blens or satin works real well.
ooo… sounds like you did this before.
Yes, you can still see the marks on his wrists… Ryannon can be a bit rough…
Maybe a time or 2, I have learned to never use real handcuffs, those dang little keys can go missing and/or wind up in some STRANGE places.
Like stuck in a potato?
Nope, I have a Vicar-potato free play area.
Uh, Ry, ¿le has preguntado a él cúantos años tiene? No quieres cometer “a felony.”
/\ I am well above the legal drinking age. /\ or……… Soy bien arriba la edad de bebida legal.
You can also say “Mis anos me permiten beber”
¿Cuando?
Did you have something in mind? I prefer scarves over ribbon but if ribbon works, I’m there.
hmmmmm……..*opens bottom dresser drawer and pulls out play things* Do you have a color preference? I also have an assortment of silk ties bought for just this purpose, check the closet if you would like.
Satin for ribbon, silk for scarves. Red or black, I’m easy with colo(u)r.
.
Oh, and Alice is a north pole type chicki, does she have a southern hemisphere compatriate?
hol up he ain’t do it on purpise
On porpoise?
OJ just wanted his hump back…
He’s probably getting plenty of *hump* in prison.
(psst, we’re on cetacean references)
That’s a whale of a hint, DrB.
I bet he will be singing a different tuna now.
What are we all blubbering on about here?
*flounders looking for a fish pun*
OJ told a whale of a tail but the jury didn’t get hooked this time.
That’s quite shad actually.
I’m quite roebegone about it.
You’re just fishing for a sympathy f*ck.
Well, I must really have hit rock bottom if it’s that obvious.
I would volunteer my services but I’m tetrafied my wife would find out.
On a scale of 1-10, how would you rank that fear?
beight.
If that happened, we’d both be sunk!
I’d say tuna.
You’a stay tuna.
You’ve cod to be kidding me!
Looks like a fluke thread to me.
And that’s a cardinal sin.
We will not mollie coddle the offenders.
You guys shoal are funny!
Hey guys…I thought I smelt fish jokes around here.
You mean the neon sign didn’t catch your eye?
It’s a shark reality that we all have nothing beta to do than flounder around here all day.
We just like to clown around.
it’s really net funny anymore.
ah come on, you know your hooked!
Yes, we must platy-cate him!
Otherwise it will Oscar him for life.
I am still feeling a little cichlid from New Years celebration.
Ooh, have a bit of the hair of the dog with me, then.
*perches on arm of GIWU’s chair and hands him a glass*
Aren’t you the little angel.
I’m still a little slow myself, so if you need to gourami I promise not to carp about it.
Nope…I’m as badis they come.
What a crappie thread!
Nothing to carp about, though.
Ah thanks Dragon, I don’t feel as Eel now. Now I just need to someone to Cuttle with.
Woul-danio these comments be considered barbs?
You’re squidding, right?
I could be having m-arowana flash backs.
Oh no! I’ll call 999 because acara-bout you!
Aw, Dragon you are a damsel who helps those in distress.
*breams in delight*
*Bass-ks in your rays.*
I want to take a hatchet to this thread.
I wish you would mullet over before you do anything wrasse.
Nah, he wants to do it just for the halibut.
dont u mean, “what a carpie thread”?
No, he didn’t, now take it back before he makes your eye all puffer up.
And if that eye gets too bad you’ll need a sturgeon.
Archer glad you’re a part of it?
I love this grouper! And, you have to watch your bass,
or someone will burn you for a dumb cod-ment.
Who needs friends when you have anenomes?!
Or was that a bottlenose?
Needlenose?
snubnose?
I guess he ain’t be doing it since he’s not done nothing wrong.
Wow, those court-appointed attorneys suck.
*snicker*
Hey, McF, what have you done with Chris? And what’s that smell?
*makes innocent face* I don’t know what happened to Christopher, whatever it was I aint do it.
That, errmm, wasn’t what it looked like…
Dang gurl, dat sheet is wack dog.
W0rd s0n.
Arkansas ebonics at its best.
LOL…edumacation excellence.
OMG and this is where I moved to?
Sidenote: My dumbass ex-boss drives an Altima and it is one of the ones that has the button to push and turn it on. She has now left it running 6 times and counting. How do you explain to AAA that you ran out of gas in your driveway while you slept because you left your car on?
Why would she leave the car running when she got home? Tell AAA that the dog must have hit the “On” button while you were sleeping. The person that put this on their car wouldn’t be able to figure out your boss’ car.
She might be the dumbest person I have ever known, quite frankly. And they have a “safety feature” that turns it off if you carry the “key” more than 6 feet from the car. However, intelligent that she is, she leaves the spare IN THE CAR just in case. So it never senses that someone isn’t in the car. I am just grateful for her kids’ sakes that her garage is too full to park in there.
Technically, I believe that’s a correct construction in AAVE, but yeah…if you were expecting speakers of Standard English to understand it (like the judge?), then fail.
Peace,
JT
LOL, I had be known that! LOL
http://www.privacy-tools.at.tc
grammar fail intentional?
What a complete dumbass, they forgot to put a apostrophe in “aint”.
That tag is photoshopped.
No it’s not. In Arkansas they use colors instead of numbers/letters.
Yeah but in Arkansas, they use red. This is black, ergo fake.
You think you’re sooooo smart don’t you Ms. Smarty McSmartpants, well I’ve got just one thing to say to you: PLLLLLLLLLLLLLLBTTTTT!
I get it, you’re angry. Go with what you feel.
I feel pretty.
Oh so pretty?
Is this not the B2TH we know
Modest and pure
Polite and refined
Well-bred and mature
And out of his mind!
Ya, butta bouy laik dat,
he’ll keel yo’ brudder.
When you’re a Jet, you’re a Jet all the way. . . .
There’s a fail for us, somewhere.
There is fail, there is fail,
There is untapped fail!
Like inside, the worst of us is fail!
I feel fail-y….oh, so fail-y…!
Gee, Officer Krupke, I’m down on my knees
Cause no one wants a fail-a with a social disease.
A boy liike that wants one thing only,
And when he’s done, he’ll leave you lonely.
He’ll murder your fail;
He murdered mine.
Just fail and see,
Just fail, bloger,
Just fail and see!
Pretty vaaaaacant.
That’s Vicious and Rotten…
You’re quite the pistol aren’t you?
(pistols won’t sex below this level)
*fires blank*
Actually, we have several. Yes, the originals are red. But there are new ones that have a diamond on them, the lettering is black. And there are TONS of game and fish plates, they are different every year.
Oh, I thought you were talking about their necks.
Sad Arky, I need to find a good Italian place in NW Arkansas. Got any ideas?
Belle Arti is amazing! There’s one in Rogers, Arkansas (which I haven’t been to yet, but I went to the one in Hot Springs, Arkansas)
http://www.belleartigroup.com/rogersbellearti.htm
Hope that helps!
…courtesy of ‘WhiteDebbilHydrawlicsandMajik’; a division of LucasArts
…yep, that’s our kansas, Dorothy…
Man that’s one big pixel.
That’s what she said.
That’s what God said.
God is a woman?
Duh! You think a man would leave your testicles on the outside? Notice all our bits are tucked in?
My testicles are in a jar on the top of my fridge but I’m allowed to play with them every once in awhile.
I keep mine in a jar on the mantle…all 23 of them.
Lance Armstrong?
Uh, it’s that 11 and a half pairs, or just a trophy array of singles?
*wide-eyed and fearful*
Help control the potential Darwin Award winners, have your local dumb a$$es spayed or neutered.
I once dated a guy who was Native American…Johnny OneNut.
…how did you manage an odd number? wait, no, don’t answer that… *turns away and takes crayons back from SkwerllyBob*
Aint got a apostrophe?
OJ the most guilty man on earth lol
Little hint, that remark on the car is about O. J. Simpson…
Oh, thank goodness you told me. I thought O.J. Tugs was in trouble again.
Yes we know he didn’t do it. I thought George W. Bush would pardon him. But he decided to pardon a dead guy instead.
Oh cool, and I was just about to throw away my copy of “Love Train”
The gang’ll be happy to hear that.
Ummmmmmm -NO FREAKIN’ DUH!!!!
Ah, that makes sense…I was wondering why someone was advertising free orange juice with the car and then someone said that the guy was reneging on the promise.
Not first!
He aint do it? Anpu is not familiar with that brand of orange juice.
I want some of that free oj!
PLEASE tell me that this was written “tongue-in-cheek.” Please.
its was written tongue in cheek…
Not a chance, baby, and if you read through the thread, you will find that this is “correct” African-American vernacular English.
And all this time I have been stupid enough to enslave myself to the man by using the English he says is correct…
I go mambo dogface to the banana patch, baby!
Black people…FTW
You might be a redneck if:
You use “Ain’t” when you should say “Am/Are Not”
…
You might be retarded if:
You use “Ain’t” completely without warrant…
pure art lol
pure art
And he doesn’t afraid of anything.
Why are the comments on this freaking site never related to the comments?? Geesus christ the pictures are great but the comments are LAMMMMMEEEE
Although this is one my least favourite fail pictures…its more like stupid than fail =\
Damn. I’m going to make my comments related more to the comments from now on!
And I vouch to try to make mine lamer.
Just make sure they are about the comments!
to “LAME COMMENTS”
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The fact that you have failed to break up that iceberg of words into readable paragraphs is only amplified by the characteristically atrocious grammar and spelling littered throughout the post.
I am sorry, English is not my first language. I meant the comments on this site are not ever related to the picture.
Damn! Ah knowd OJ ain’t did it! Now days prooph. Free him 2day!
That’s actually grammatical in African American Vernacular English (AAVE). In this dialect, “aint” can be used as a substitute for the word “didn’t” in Standard American English. So translated into SAE, the phrase says “he didn’t do it”. It’s just a nonstandard dialect.
As legit as Engrish.
Some free orange juice would be very nice, thank you.
How can such a moron afford a car like that? Oh, how obvious: Arkansas, USA.
so wheres my free orenge juice?………. wait u meen some idiot wanted to free oj simspon??!?! wow…….
And you wonder how Obama got elected?
Stan = WIN! I’m not the only conservative on here! w00t in a b00t
Are you comparing OJ Simpson to Obama?
‘scuse me I’m french and I don’t know what’s an O.J
C’est jus d’orange ou O.J. Simpson, un mauvais homme.
I’m pretty sure that Gladiator763 said, “It’s orange juice or O.J. Simpson, a bad man.” …Again, I’m pretty sure… except maybe that last part.
Yup, bad man, unless he means “nasty” with mauvais, you never know.
It ain’t no fail!
And I moved to that state…..on purpose.
OH GOD….an Arkansas license plate. Great. It makes me ashamed to live there already…that just made it worse.
Of course it’s in Arkansas. *headdesk* I love my state….
The counter just rolled back to zero on the “Days without furthering stereotypes” sign.
Double FAIL!
mmm. Corn.
it hurts me to know i live in arkansas.
free oj? CHECK.
the kkk is a total failure.