Submitted by Jonathan A
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I wonder if they have weekly wipes.
I suppose their daily rates would be crapi diem .
*seizes*
*the day*
*nope, foaming at mouth*
*rabies?*
*shouldn’t have taunted that raccoon*
*flees in terror*
*BRAAAAAAAAIIIIIIINNNNSSSS!!*
*loads shotgun*
*whistles for Ol’ Yeller*
*Realizes this is where the Red Fern Grows*
*knows that this is a day no pigs would die*
*Finally understands that it he was on the Earth all along*
*drags all these carcasses to the Pet Sematary*
*Needs a bigger boat*
*jumps the shark*
*cant find bigger boat…uses kitchen table*
*hopes there are no potatoes on said table*
*dies alittle inside after reading failblog comments*
*humps the park
*Humps the park*
humps the park
humps the fart
*nukes the fridge*
*ruins the thread*
C-C-C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER
first XD
If you can off that raccoon, I’d appreciate. Damn thing killed a dozen of my chickens in October. And I’m not kidding. Lost 7 to the things in July, too. After 4 years without an incident. I cheer every time I pass one lying squashed on the side of the road…
I’m sorry about the chickens, but do you eat chicken? Raccoons are interesting, I think. Dogs killed my rabbits but I still have two dogs. Roadkill is sad, to me.
I’m confused, it seems you are:
“dilettante” & “TMI Service” & “fuzz on the concept”
and possibly someone else.
Explain, because it’s not fair to get extra presents or post with more than one name.
“Into each life some confusion should come.”
~ Milton Erickson
oh, TMI!
“Seize” derives etymologically from a Late Latin word, sacire, meaning “to take possession of,” from which we also get “seizure.”
.
“Rapture” comes from the Latin rapere, which also means “to seize,” and from which get “rape.”
.
The word “stupor,” by the way, comes from Latin stuprum, which also means “disgrace” and was the word most often used in Latin to denote “rape.”
.
And “masturbate” comes from from manus + stuprum and more or less means “hand rape.”
*sentences right hand to 30 days*
*gets naked, opens her windows and doors and waits for the stupor to take place*
*climbs through window prepares for rapture*
….after which you will surly have a seizure.
No worries, I brought medication.
Manus: The Hands of Mate
-Epicurus
gang stupor?
*stupor taking place*
Rape me, I’m yours!
*Rape me, I’m yours!*
*hand rapes*
Gather ye tenements while ye may…
Thou shall receive rent three moons late.
Tho this be but a one star commodation.
‘Tis Horace trusting as little as possible in the furnished.
Alas poor Yorick’s bed, I slept in it well.
^ a lass for Yorick’s head
If you lived here, every diem will be a crapi diem.
… and you and your ‘tater would be in a bowl by now.
Boil ‘em. Mash ‘em. Stick ‘em in a stew
In that order? what a strange stew.
If you mash them post stewing you get all sorts of vegetables all over everywhere, it’s not a pretty sight.
Fish bowl?
ok … *tries to knock over all of fluffy’s fins*
Are you rolling a potato?
Don’t worry fluffy; he’s not in your league.
Speaking of too much information, I was going to say that that ‘tater belongs in a different, “little work” kind of bowl — but I just checked the etymology of “toilet” and that’s not the kind of “toil” that that word comes from.
.
Turns out “toilet” comes from referring euphemistically to the porcelain fixture associated with a “toilet” which previously meant “a dressing room,”
which comes from toilet meaning “a getting dressed,”
which comes from toilet meaning “a bag for clothes,”
which comes from toilet meaning “a little toile” = a cloth net,
which comes from toile meaning “a hunting net,”
which comes from tela meaning “a web or something woven”
which comes from texere meaning to weave,
and which also gives us the words texture, textile, and text.
.
And since “text” is what I’ve just typed now, I think I’ll go wash my hands.
So how did you know I work in a toilet with my textiles and texture??! I have really got to find that hidden camera. And SCRUB my hands.
wow failed comment atempt
Only if you sign up for their weekly rapes.
*signs up*
*Signs up, asks about premium service package*
Christopher, you’re at the wrong building if you’re looking for premium service.
*sigh* I suppose you’re right. This will tide me over until I get back to your office.
Don’t forget my Latte this time or I may get foaming mad.
Sorry. But your required dress code didn’t leave me any pockets to keep my wallet.
I expect more from you. At least try paying with your coin purse.
They said they couldn’t break something that big.
Look out, Chris, it doesn’t take much to get her steamed!
Weekly rapes? Guess they just cantilever alone.
Cantilever with ‘em, cantelope without ‘em.
NO U!
lol
first
if they did, i’d have no gripes
So many fails in so little time:
1- Saying “first”…
2- …without being first
3- Nesting your comment into Fuzz’s
4- Changing your name but not the avatar
You’re funny, thanks!
about 4> can’t figure out how to (blush)
The Gripes of Wrath?
The Grapes of Ape?
Great!
The rapes of dates?
The Wipes of ‘Crepes’?
Tentacle Grape?
At least they’re honest.
yeah, this looks more like a truth-in-advertising win to me.
Bad photoshop fail.
I can tell, because of the pixels
If all you’re going to do is whine why post?
Their complaints are cheesy.
Whey to go! Take a bow, or curd-sy…
Just keep milking the subject.
Now where did I put that article on cheese and whine pairings….
My posts were all deleted…
Anyway, a quick google search will show you this is well documented and not a ‘shop job.
And FU mods!
Captain Obvious,
Your posts were probably so full of filth that the mods thought they were unacceptable for Failblog.
Trolls like you are not welcome.
My posts were simply links showing how well documented this case is. I am just frustrated that posts are removed without any explanation. This has happened to my comments on several occasions, and none of my posts, save for the bit of lashing out above, have been at all offensive.
I think it would help if the mods simply edit the comment with what the issue is or send an email to the user explaining why the posts were removed.
Thanks for being the slightest bit understanding, and I appreciate the juvenile name-calling.
This happens often. It may be based on the post containing links or the link content or other mysterious factors. There seems to be no rhyme or reason to it.
It’s all a part of the magic that is failblog.
I wonder with the number of spam links polluting the threads lately they’ve started blocking more replies containing links in the body of the post. (Used to be a post with a link would be delayed for half an hour or so before appearing — TMI tried to post one about 2 hours ago, saw it appear and then go away, and it’s still not up.)
[** Warning, this post contains technical content **]
Spammers who think that can take advantage of posting links for improving the ranking of their pages in search engines are so clueless that they do not understand that this blog (as many others) uses the “nofollow” attribute in links to prevent spamdexing (I didn’t make up that word, btw).
*swoons at Lou’s technospeak* I’m a sucker for nerds.
*buys some nerdy t-shirts, several e-gadgets and thick-rimmed glasses*
*pulls the gemstone out of Lou’s butt, places carefully on nightstand* Brace yourself, nerdboy, I’m driving tonight!
But… but… I’m an actual scientist! *trembles bottom lip*
*gives Christopher a cookie*
Blogmonster’s been busy, I see.
*wears labcoat and cellotape wrapped spectacles to blen in seamlessly with the crowd*
*silently sidles up to target*
*SQUEEZE*
*removes labcoat to reveal jetpac and wooshes out the window after assembling spaceship*
Wooooooooosh!
If I shined my spandex with some windex –
could you see yourself in them?
Oh dear, blue banana hammock…
With a name like Capt Obvious you should already know that
mods can do whatever they want and they do not have to explain
their actions to you.
Wouldn’t it be helpful though, if they would tell one what one’s mistake was so one could avoid repeating it?
No, because then the mods couldn’t have a laugh at the
helpless commenter who wants to know why his posts are
being deleted.
… brilliant.
The only rule I know for sure is that it isn’t acceptable to begin posts with the phrase ‘bend over’.
. . . I’m sure there’s a “bend over” joke in there somewhere, but I can’t see it for the life of me.
Loz would probably get it.
…B3nd 0v3r and I’ll sh0w you where Loz gets it.
I have no idea what you all have against Ben Dover.
YES YOU KHAAAAAN!!!
bend over
Bend Over
BEND OVER
TRIES IT to check out Sammy’s theory
Sheesh, I thought those were commands. I was getting light headed bending over so much.
They were commands!
Bend Over Ryannon/ryannomite, let’s try out another theory!
*woah’s at name*
So says Anpu.
*thunder crash*
*Gives BF a sip of the milk of human kindness*
Cheers!
*wishes to suckle at the teat of human kindness*
Tears!
bad comment fail *scolds comment and threatens with a rolled up news paper*
Not Photoshopped (this time) , click my name
Wrong. I live near this place. Inexplicably, it really does say Crapi Apartments. My theory is that it originally said “Capri” and they just rearranged the faux-cursive lettering.
Nope, I’ve got a friend who lives right around there. This is true.
From what we can see, it could be a very
accurate name.
Yup. Looks pretty accurate. No fail.
But a studio apartment goes for $1,600.00. Therein lies the fail.
I dunno about that “wood” paneling. And the star on the right of it looks suspiciously like something, I can’t quite think of what that might be.
That’s the building sparkling in the sunlight.
Ever the optimist.
A catdog’s butthole? The star of Bethlehem? A cross-section of a flail?
I am concerned about your first suggestion… may I have a mirror?
Don’t be self-conscious. On you, it’s cute. *puts gemstone in Lou’s star* There, now you’re all reaady for New Year’s Eve.
Did you get the potato out first? You don’t want to crowd the place.
Hi Fluffy!
You are back! And the potato jokes. Coincidence?
Fluffy took the potato with her on her holiday travels. Fluffy flew business class, and the potato shared her seat.
Of course not a coincidence. My brain is stuck in “potato mode”. Every post here makes me think “potato”.
^ fish ‘n’ chips
Surf and turf?
Nail & Bail?
Wham Bam thank-you-ma’am?
There’s a $100 on the dresser and dont let the doo knob hit ya, where the good lord split ya?
Profit!
Wise man?
Ha! And “it who shall not be named lest it comes posting” accuses ME of being the one obsessed with potatoes. You are the potato comment fiend. I feel vindicated.
Do not forget Katy: Maybe she wants to apply for that potato comment fiend position.
I may be incorrect in this statement, but from what I recall of watching toons with my kiddo’s and watchin cat-dog, wasnt their buttholes (or the approximate area they should be) the other ends mouth? so Loufail wouldn’t have a bunghole for a potatoe, the doggie end would be eating it and loufail would be pukin poop?
I thought the same thing but didn’t want to think too much about Lou’s bunghole.
Amen.
GladIWoke, I am not sure about what are those cartoons you see with your kids where buttholes and mouths are all mixed up, but the parenting fail discussion is in another thread.
I didn’t fail at parenting, my children are just as obese, dysfunctional, needy whine bags as the rest of american youth that make millions from internet, reality tv and such! (ROFLMAO) couldnt help myself, made myself laugh, I actually have a bumper sticker that says my son is an A honor roll student, plays in the high school band and can still kick your son’s a$$
hmmm… I gotta come watch cartoons at your place. All the cartoon characters I see have smooth areas where the butthole should be.
For those who have never seen the show CatDog, it’s about a cat and a dog – or rather, their front halves, since the animals are connected around the stomach area, like some bizarre biology student prank. A more literal interpretation of a “catdog”. Various gags are perpetrated from this, including having one end of the character swallow something and the other end barf it up.
*swings hips*
*takes picture for future blackmail*
*sends picture to local tabloids*
LEAVE LOUFAIL ALOOOONEEEE!!
*Channels Chris Crocker*
LEAVE HIM ALONE!!!
Hmmm.
Chris, short for Christopher. And we’ve never seen your surname, or you and Chris Crocker in the same place together.
Coincidence? I think not!
But a picture cannot depict the sensuality of my hip swinging!
*grabs Lou’s hips and starts a conga line*
*Grabs Mookie’s hips and starts making a pr0no*
*bootlegs the pr0no*
If you had any idea all the hard work and hours of diligent and creative effort that went into that pr0no, you would pay for a copy like everyone else.
Indeed, you are much more hip than I.
Are you calling her fat?
I am not fat, I am just big boned!
(wait, this joke was taken)
*remembers Tootsie and keeps
hisher mouth shut up*Big boned you say? *scootches closer*
Ryannon is a fickle mistress.
Ryannon is bad to the bone.
No, wait… it’s the other way round.
No, you were right the first time.
[Your friendly TMI Service tried to post this several hours ago in reply to Ms. Dilly Taunt's musings upon the star symbol; here 'tis again, the citation link now removed to the clicky-my-name position:]
.
The star may be there to indicate that Crapi Apartments are luxury outhouses for men:
TMI, get a new name
Ahh, how I had missed the good ol’ TMI Service – thanks Fuzz
You’re thinking of the bowling alley in The Big Lebowsky.
Truth in Advertising win.
Spelling of Capri fail
What abode of crap.
Are you pooh-poohing the fail?
Winnie?
Neigh.
sleigh?
Hay….
Jay…
Kay…
Gay…
Bay…
Flay…
Rebecca De Mornay…
Good lay.
Lets pray.
Fish filet
Lady easy
Spray
Macy Grey
C-C-C-COMBO BRAY … k … err …
Lay Lady Lay
Seymour Cray
Parlay
Waylay
Display
Lamprey
Bet it’s supposed to be named after the island.
Crapi Island – home of the Crapi pants and the Ford Crapi..
This is a real apt bldg in West L.A. The owner has another one around the corner from it called the CheeZee.
PHOTOSHOP PHAIL
Definitely looks crapi to me!
Holy crap….
Batman?
Don’t call me superman.
Can I call you Spiderman?
I would prefer Captain America.
But he can’t fly!
Neither can Spiderman, he “falls with style”
No no no, he aims for the ground and misses
Now that’s funny. *puts quote in little black book to be used at a later date and claimed as his own*
Stealing my ill-gotten goods!?
*shifty eyes* I…would…never…do *runs*
Can’t flee the shadows, Blue2th, they fly at the speed of darkness!
Exactly. Nothing is faster than the speed of darkness. You know how fast light is? Guess what was there first. That’s right, the darkness.
*clap on* and then there was light.
One time, when I was in Mexico, I caught…oh, never mind.
*scootches*
*lols*
Bond?
“chez crapi”
Crapi sanchez?
Whats so funny about a apartment named cragi?
Cough *’p', not ‘g’*
It’s a backwards bent p…geez Bondfan.
It’s actually the Cragi Agartments.
On Cragi Island?
Feck! Girls! Drink! Arse!
They spelled Craig wrong. Now you know where the apartments on Craigs List are.
No they didn’t.
Umm, don’t make me!
Rofl.
Nothing at all.
NO U
F*CK YEH
I’ve lived here. The toilets back up all the time.
No they don’t.
Don’t make me turn into a potty mouth!
That comment would suggest that you are already not a potty mouth and both you and I KNOW that is not true.
*hugs*
*insinuates herself in clench* Group hug!
*orders Christopher into group hug and jumps in herself* Woohoo!
*Passes out picnic supplies as group hug degerenates into grope hug*.
Grope hug!!! PAAAARTTTTYYYYY!!!!!
Group stupor!!!!!
-stares-
Proud to stare (and I’m loving the last line):
When did failblog install the online automatic dictionary?
Fuzz on the Dictionary
Won’t that be a dicitinary?
… speaking of crapi — the above was meant to be edited to be more concise before posting — too much TMI.
No such thing.
*hands out picnic supplies* Safety first!
*Hands out other picnic supplies (excedrin)*
No excuses.
*hands out other picnic supplies from a box marked ‘Manning Motel’*
That wasn’t the Motel from the German sleeper hit movie, “The Killer Condom”?
No, but you can get weekly rapes there.
did you notice how the name looks like it says “crappy apartments”?
What? I thought the fail was the big arrow and the wonky star.
Fail is that 2 out of 3 parking spaces are free. This means that they do not have many customers!
Oh oh I get it. The fail is the Beamer parked at a Crapi apt complex.
No no no.. it’s a video that will start playing soon and the whole crappy apartment will fall on the one car at the bottom.
Nooo no no no, they’re flats, not apartments. How we laughed.
That is a nice photoshop of the Capri Apartments.
sledding win
Wasnt that the same apartment that was in the Stewie Griffin Movie from family guy. Im pretty sure those are the apartments that grown up stewie lives in…
I’m pretty sure I lived in one of their subsidiaries in Lincoln…
of course minus the signage bling.
DAMN
i was gonna send that in
it’s across the street from my school!
this is bullshit, i live near these apartments in van nuys, the real name is CAPRI apartments. whoever submitted this did some photoshopping (which wouldnt be hard to do with this pic)
This is SO fake. These are the CAPRI apartments in Los Angeles, I live around the corner from them. Someone has just photoshopped the letters.
I will take a pic of the actual sign…
Nope. That’s the actual sign. It’s on Overland in Culver city. Fo reals
I like right near there! FAIL!
Name fail?
Or honesty win?
It’s not a fail if you had to photoshop it to get it. Check around the top of the “relocated” r.
Ha, I just drove past this apartment over the weekend. The building is well named.
no way!! isaw this in los angeles a few months ago and regretted not taking a pic!! jonathan you beat me to it!
wow. ive been here, and you’re stupid. its in San Francisco first of all, and second the sign is correct there. your comment is fail. unless theres more than one. in that case its a fail on me.
also, this has one small detail, that they’re not apartments, but a hotel. i don’t like ever correcting stuff, but this seems needed out of being there before.
I live across the street from that actual building in Burbank, CA…and I’m pretty sure…newp…positive it says “capri…”
so…
photoshop FAIL!!!!
this place is for realllll
ive seen it
live right near it
my sister pointed it out once and we couldnt stop laughing! hahahahahah
+1 more for legit. I drive past this place on the way to work and LOL every time!
??? What’s written exactly ?
I know these apartments, they are the Capri apartments. I have stumbled past them drunk a few times more than I should have
i drive past this thing every day on my way 2 work god its amazing how STUPHED some people are
You mean people who can’t spell stupid?
or maybe they are crappy.
Its all in the name, Its all in the name.
I guess no one who posted on this in 2008 recognized it this time around
You actually make it seem so easy with your presentation but I find this matter to be really something which I think I would by no means understand. It seems too complex and very wide for me. I am taking a look ahead to your subsequent put up, I’ll try to get the cling of it!