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moo
*flipping coin sound*
*flipping cow sound*
*flipping burger sound*
*tries to flip burgers with joe*
*accidentally flips burger into joes face*
Uh oh.
FIRST WOOHOO FIRST IT HAS HAPPENED AT LAST I AM FIRST
Iriot: someone that cannot tell irony from idiocy.
Rhetard: someone who answers a rhetorical question.
Foxymoron: Someone who is very attractive but incredibly stupid.
moronacracy: blog ruled by people who write nonsensical posts that never are actual nor original contributions
Grump: someone who got out of bed on the wrong side.
A nice cup of tea needed, I think, and a nice warm shower.
Wait, grump does not appear in my dicitionary!
Here, try Mitchillio’s Australian Dicitionary, you’ll find it under “grnmd,” ok?
You’re supposed to spell “grnmd” with an “s”, you know.
You’re supposed to write single characters inside single quotation marks, you know.
and a silent q at the beginning
Better than you must be British.
Surely ICHC is a moronacracy, but Failblog? NEVER!
I never would suggest such a thing!
[Despite of the attempts of numerous lame firsters and a couple of spammers]
*sound*
*ahem*, moronocracy: the united states of america in the period between the presidencies of bill clinton and barack obama
dont you mean someone WHO cant tell? loser
*flipping the bird sound*
*flipping this house sound*
*flipping out sound*
*flipping couch sound*
*roots around in couch for change and the remote*
*roots around in Ryannon’s pockets for… something*
Check her cleavage, LB, I think I dropped my retainer in there.
Why would you put a check in her cleavage? I would think you’re fiscally responsible than that…
*more… Where’s the bukkit? I’m gonna need it today.
*dunkity*
*loans £υηçhþöχ a “more”*
*snatches “more” back*
*points at bukkit*
Sorry, was that because you need it too? Here, I’m done with it, for now…
*passes bukkit to Blu*
Thnaks!
Now it’s so hot you can’t tell what flavor it is!
Ewe! What flavor is this?
*adds 30 shakes of Tabasco Sauce*
(BBB is a genius)
Erm…you’re going to need it again, and the magic bukkit laughs at your Tabasco Sauce! Mwuahahaha…
Perhaps he was suggesting it’s sheep-flavored pudding? After all, it IS the possessor’s least favorite flavor automatically…
*swoops down in the millenium falcon*
*SQUEEZE*
*Fluffs the bunny*
*Runs for dear life*
*sigh*
*flipping off sound*
you stole that from me!!!!!!
moo
ahhh the fresh smell of photoshopp
The falcon has bands on its legs… TRAINED.
nice
Stop it, Failface !
NEVER!
Yes?
You rang?
Stuffed turkey = yes.
Stuffed toy = no.
Stuffed turkey we can!
Stuffed turkey, you must!
Stuffed turkey, she did!
Stuffed turkey, why I never!
Stuffed turkey, how clever!
Stuffed turkey, hope you wouldn’t!
Stuffer? I don’t even know ‘er!
You stuffer, you brought her!
Stuffed turkey, smokes cigarette.
C-C-C-Combo Breaker!
First!
That rabbit was photoshopped. Note the pixelation around the stuffing.
Stuffed turkey, pass gravy please.
First
not really ^_^
Ok I’m slow, so what!?
You do realise that saying “first” is considered a highly annoying act carried out only by trolls right? Even if you were first, your comment would still be an epic fail.
first
Meh. yeeey actually thought he/she was first so i stick by my comment.
May your dog run through some chicken poop and get some on his paw before jumping on your leg and scratching you, thereby causing a blue streak to run up the back of your leg so you don’t notice it until it is too late and they have to amputate your leg before realizing it is too late because the infection got to your heart causing your preist to come in and give you last rites.
.
By the way, since you are going to die, can I have your troll doll collection?
Who knew Betty Boop was so bloodthirsty?
No kidding, I guess she’s gotten bitchy in her old age. So much for aging gracefully, eh?
True story, happened to my mom when I was little and we moved to Alabama. Our dog got some poop under the claw thingie or talon or whatever dogs have on their paws. He scratched her foot and by the next morning her foot was too big to fit in her shoe and there was a blue streak to her knee.
… and my kids wonder why I make them wash thoroughly if the cat scratches them…
Why not wash the cat thoroughly instead?
How do you think they get scratched in the first place? Ever tried washing a cat thoroughly? I have battle scars from the last time I tried…
betty’s talking a blue streak
I’d tried diagnosing her mom’s condition in vein.
I’m septical of your diagnostic abilities, AA.
I wouldn’t want the gang to get green with envy by guessing correctly before all the facts are in.
Pyou [should] trid lightly there, sir.
Without more information we’re necrosis to knowing what caused the infection.
Don’t get excise-ted, but I think I may have found a lead…
Yay, the Admiral is here!
(Dismember of our Failblog community is my favorite, after all!)
lead weight?
lead balloon?
lead around by the nose?
I know that is not faint praise. Vertigo away, I’d surely miss it.
I’d swooner dunk my head in a rancid pudding bukkit than disappoint you.
This will be a birds of prey demonstration in front of an audience. They use a stuffed animal because it’s a bit gruesome for kids to see the bird rip up a real bunny.
Dont worry, its not real ketchup, its only blood ;o
it’s actually a mustard
Roffled
*hands DrB a replacement bottle of Shiraz*
The one I stole helped muchly thankyou very much.
Glad to hear that. I was feeling sorry for the bird: Major disappointment in 3…2…1
*Major dissapointment*
AH! *removes an s and adds a p*
Now I must go make a sacrifice to the gods of spelling to ensure they forgive me. Where can I find a troll around here?
The gods of spelling require you to dunk your head in this pudding bukkit.
*holds out the bukkit*
I’m having a stupid day.
*Squeeze*
*curls up in bukkit*
I think I shall stay here.
Borrows that p and looks for roll of paper and a magazine.
*informs Ryannon of ryannonmite*
I’ve been caught. I haven’t mastered this “posting as someone else and getting away with it” thing yet. I will consult the expert and see how he almost gets away with it each time.
Why are you using Dragonwriter’s avatar for your own use?
He IS???
*clears cache*
I still don’t see it. I would, however, like to take this opportunity to tell you that I do not post under any other name or avatar than the one you know. Never have…don’t have any plan to do so. You will always know who I am.
Neither do I.
Follow his name-link.
Oh ye gods.
It is rather bad form, isn’t it…? To use my personal design and tattoo without asking permission?
Three of my friends have asked me if they can get the dragon tattoo. In each case, I said ‘yes’…just so long as they made some sort of change that made it personal to them. I was honored that they loved the design so much, and we call ourselves the dragon-sistahs. Theirs are much smaller, and they don’t have the jewels underneath, but…I love knowing that my dragon is giving so much pleasure to others.
However…they had the grace to ask me first.
The only reason I was ryannomite earlier was because it kept giving me errors as ryannon. I too will not post as anyone else but me. We are all creatures of habit and if you are astute, you will know when someone is posting as an alter ego.
I didn’t mean that as a jab, Ry…really I didn’t. I knew it was you, and figured it was something like that. I just wanted to assure the admiral (and all my friends, really) that he never has to wonder.
Oh I didn’t take it as a jab
I would have to be terribly stupid to post as a very similar username with the same avatar and y’all would have to be terribly stupid to think I was that stupid. I have more faith than that in our collective intelligence to think that.
Well, thank gawd for that! I just wanted you to know that
you didn’t have to justify or explain.
Wine? I have a lovely syrah here.
*holds out a bottle*
*Hands Ryanon a roll of Charmin*
*Stands at attention until Major Disappointment passes*
*passes*
(The clue is the jesses on his talons. He is not a wild bird.)
Not wild, he just like leather…
Huh, I wonder if that line will work for me.
Don’t worry, I won’t judge… Besides, you look stunning in leather in my mind…
And in these pictures.
*oggles*
Wow, Erick, you’re absolutely correct.
I look better out of leather *wink*
PHOTOSHOPPED! AIRBRUSHED! FAKED!
Ryanon has smaller “umm hmmms” and a larger “uhh huhhh”
No, silly, you’re holding her upside down. Common mistake, however.
*flips her*
OoOOOoooO! YES! This way is better!
I was really disappointed to see this on the main page. I mean, why don’t I take a picture of my cat playing with a toy mouse and send that failboat in?
There is no bird.
The photo is doctored.
Coloring and light sources on bird and bunny are wrong.
this is not “Edible Prey FAIL”
It is
“PHOTO SUBMISSION FAIL”
AND
“PHOTO EDITING FAIL”
That rabbit looks really fed up about it.
it looks as if the birds gonna miss the rabbit -.-
He won’t miss her. It was brief but intense…that was always the deal…
A-well-a everybody’s heard about the bird
B-b-b-bird, bird, bird, b-bird’s the word
A-well-a bird, bird, bird, the bird is the word
A-well-a bird, bird, bird, well the bird is the word
A-well-a bird, bird, bird, b-bird’s the word
A-well-a bird, bird, bird, well the bird is the word
A-well-a bird, bird, b-bird’s the word
A-well-a bird, bird, bird, b-bird’s the word
A-well-a bird, bird, bird, well the bird is the word
A-well-a bird, bird, b-bird’s the word
A-well-a don’t you know about the bird?
Well, everybody knows that the bird is the word!
A-well-a bird, bird, b-bird’s the word
A-well-a…
Should I consider this a family guy reference or surfin’ bird reference?
…or both? A Family Bird?
I can’t keep the singing asshole out of my mind when I’m reminded of that song…damn you.
copyright fail
His doctor told him to eat more fiber.
I hope he doesn’t go after other toys when he finds out he has a zinc deficiency.
Warning: Batteries not digestible
Unless you’re an ostrich. Those buggers will eat [i]anything[/i], and live to tell the tale.
OK, where can I find out _which_ particular arbitrary choice from the [b]multitude[/b] of options this blog-provider uses?
OK, scratch that request, I get it now. Not only did I get it, I broke it, too.
Holy crap, ostriches can talk!?
Yep, most remarkable birds, indeed.
And if you p!ss one off, he can split you open from throat to crotch in one kick. Remarkable, and bad-tempered, and armed, to boot.
Stoopid llama!!
It’s not a llama, it’s a horse with a tumor.
Alpaca the surgical supplies, if you pack the anesthetic… We can get rid of that tumor in no time!
Are you sherpa we can get to him in time?
Oh this peaks my interest.
The poor horse has received an avalanche of support, so far…
Is it getting Chile in here?
Hey LB, let me peruse the supplies you packed.
I’m willing Tibet things work out just fine.
I’ll Bolivia, but thousands wouldn’t.
I canton go, I have not been vaccinated for Hong Kong flu yet.
Gah…these are Laos-y puns.
That’s oK2, we’ll climb through them for certain…
Kil-a-man-jaro sure to go to prison for life. Murder is bad joojoo.
Poor mare (4 Stars!). Though it’s not like you to dally with political correctness…
I think thats a camel.
…told him to beat more hair.
I misread that at first… I thought you said you told him to eat more bear.
*inserts ‘ver’ to make statement more pleasing to women*
Your wish is my command… Je dine sur vous jusqu’au lever du soleil!
Ah, mon petit chou, meet me at the Casbah, and we shall make such beautiful music together…
Wait, you’re not a skunk, are you?
*washes off white paint*
Where did that come from??? Do you smell something??
First!
Epic fail… yet again. I’m starting to think people are just doing this for fun now knowing how annoying and redundant it is. Your avatar is photoshopped!
Remarkably, you’re the fail here for not being able to see that clearly all this “First” business is deliberate. Getting worked up over it is a bonus! Grats to you.
*Tries to think of witty comeback*
*Fails*
Ummmmm…………….. YOUR A FAG!
Oh boy, remembering to change back my username fail. It’s just one fail after another for me today isn’t it? Maybe I should consider going to sleep earlier…. No, that just won’t do.
It happens all the time. I think the fail here is in calling someone a cigarette. I think you can do better than that and insert more vitriol while you are at it. Oh and use ‘you’re’, not ‘your’ when telling someone they are something. It just lends more credence to your diatribes when you use the right words and/or spelling.
Maybe he’s a tattoo artist? They have a different lexicon, I hear.
Well considering that I was mocking trolls, the use of “your” simply adds to the effect don’t you think? I also could have called him/her a bundle of sticks or happy as an alternative to a cigarette. “Your mum” is also a good one. Nothing insulting is actually said, it’s just the beginning of a sentence that doesn’t get finished and yet somehow it’s a highly offensive insult.
I was just trying to be supportive. *sniff*
And I thank you for your support. Nothing I said was meant as a comeback or anything, so I apologise if anything came across the wrong way. I just wanted to point out that because I was doing a troll mockery, there was certainly no need for anything that added credence to what I said.
*blows her nose on Mitchillio’s shirt sleeve* Thank you
Hey! You can’t- *remembers stories of ryannons ex-husband*…. uhh, never mind, that’s fine.
Hawk tease. We had girls like that on the cheerleading squad in high school.
I heard you were ON the football team in high school
Yeah, but only AFTER the game…
Indeed, I was the place kicker. You say something rude to me, I would kick you in your special place that daddy liked to touch when mommy wasn’t looking.
[clarification data required]
Was that Daddy’s, Mommy’s, Your, My, or a Football Player’s Special Place?
[please submit]
EL-Oh-El?
Don’t bring me down, grroosss
Would that be the visual description of an Eiffel Tower? L O L ?
Man, LB, you’s all worked up today. Anything I can do to help? *wink*
I can think of a few things… but you’re going to need more kleenex, if you know what I mean…
Roger that.
I think it’s a Non-edible prey win!
Moomin!!! *looks around, then SQUUEEEZES the Moomin*
That bird is one of those you hear about in the news not making it in the wild. Too blind to discern between live pray and well the obvious. LOL
LOL, you have to admit dude, that is pretty funny!
jess
http://www.online-privacy.cz.tc
Oh look, a spambot! *points in awe*
Don’t stare, kids, it’s not polite. Just keep going, and don’t make eye contact, or it’s going to want something…
The spambot needs a slight adjustment; it came here hawking its wares.
Phew. I thought he was stalking his hares!
It’s just too bad his arse is so untaloned.
Here, you can stab him with this falc(hi)on.
It looks to me like the rabbit’s ready.
The stuffed-animal kingdom version of Hari-Kari???
It does have a “come hither” look about it. Next Bod will say it was asking for it.
It was asking for it.
Um…
*crickets chirping*
*cicadas chirring*
*locusts whirring*
*Speech slurring*
*sheep purring*
*checks Barnyard See and Say*
“The sheep goes ‘cock-a-doodle-do’!” WAIT! I had it lined up wrong!
“The sheep goes ‘meow’!” DAMN! you’re right!
*goes back to sleep*
FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVEEEEEEEEEEE GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLD RINGGGGGGGGGGGGSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
*cooks stirring*
The rabbit has a string attached… Hawk trap =P
That’s just a really long blade of grass, bleached by the sun and coated in some polyresin substance.
That’s how we know it’s not a wild rabbit.
Maybe it’s actually a rarebit.
That would warren toasting to the discovery.
*starts lapin the cheese sauce*
You’re nearly finished. Would you lagomorph?
Could you pika some out for me?
Maybe…perhaps they both like it that way…
*rinses that glass*
I prefer no strings attached.
In other news, a hawk recently released into the wild after being brought up in captivity has been taken back into captivity after being found immobilised by a hawk trap. Such traps are no longer used today as hawks are able to easily notice the bait is not real and avoid it, but this hawk seems to lack the ability to distinguish between real animals and stuffed toys. Some claim that such skills could not be developed in captivity, but the most popular explanation at the moment is that the bird is mentally retarded.
Boring, too long, “immobilized” spelled wrong.
*hands Mitchillio the Bukkit*
PS: I hope you like SPICY !!!!
To YOU it’s spelled immobilized, but down here in Aussie land we use an s! I realise (yes, that has an s too) that it doesn’t make sense, but that’s how we do it down here.
I like how your toilets flush.
And I like your separation from the English Monarchy. (sigh) Someday, someday.
Oh, you are Australian! That makes your long rant (that I didn’t bother to read) much more interesting!
Ok, I zee, you Auztralianz are upzide down and our “S” looks like your “Z”!
Goop thiug it poezu’t alzo po that with “u” aup “n” & “d” aup “P” or it wonlp be a mezz!
As you clearly demonstrated. Don’t you think it would have been slightly noticeable if I swapped z and s entirely? I certainly don’t zay thingz where I put in a z inztead of an s now do I?
ha ha yon pip po it!
yno zwaddep yonr “s” aud “z”!
Yes, yes I did.
sounds like you have a cold
*hands tissue*
Satiric first.
Not-so-satiric thirst
Satanic fist.
there, all fixed! RAH!
Satanic fist.
Satanic fist.“By using this site, you are agreeing by the site’s Terms of Use.”
no I don’t.
No, but you are putting yourself into a position where legally the site can do whatever they say they’ll do if you go against the terms and conditions and you will have no way of fighting against it.
Are you picking a fight? Is that what you’re doing?
He was asking for it.
Not that any of that has ever stopped anyone doing anything they choose to on the net.
Woops, this was meant to be a reply to my last comment. Nesting fail.
Photoshop fail.
Your nose-picking is a photoshop fail. You thought you did well, but the reflections of light off of the snot-covered nose hairs are all wrong. The finger also has a different resolution to the nose. Keep trying buddy.
This is awesome!
That’s how birders train falcons to hunt- with stuffed animals.
Birding fail.
Yup. He’s belled and jessed — that’s a falconry bird (and a first-year red tailed hawk, at that), and that rabbit has a string tied to him — it’s a training lure. It’s how you get them to learn if they didn’t have parents to teach them.
I wish I had a jessied girl –
tell me, where can I find a woman like that?
I think Madame Spankers down the street might be able to help you.
I’ll be there with belles on.
(I wonder if they have an edible play flail.)
Boy, I hope those Southern girls don’t weigh you down, Fuzz. Scarlet wasn’t THAT petite… or were you saying you’ll be wearing a skin-suit ala Silence of the Lambs?
You just made the biggest punster I know, groan in agony. I hope you’re happy.
If only you would post on Graphjam, Graphjam might cease to be lame. *sigh*
It’s been tried.
I’m Graphically Challenged and the type posts everyone else makes here, (Witty Inside Jokes Puns & Innuendo) aren’t easily translated into Pie Charts, Bar Graphs or Venn Diagrams.
yeah, we would fill up the pie chart, and then still have more info to put in there.
Isay that you all should act more like people..oh wait that IS how people act
This is a cruel joke. Does no one else see the rope around the bunny’s neck? It’s obviously already been hung.
Hanged.
Hard to tell, maybe the bunny is hung.
DAMMIT! I got foiled on my second post.
*hides in corner*
Awwww there there child, have a crooked & broken left over candy cane with just a few ants on it and this pile of stale slightly nibbled cookie pieces.
so what’s it’s still funny
prey that don’t get failed again
But is it well hung?
This is obviously photoshopped. The hawk’s lighting comes from the left, while the bunny’s is from the right.
Actually the light is neither from the left or the right.
Actually, the colors on the bird have been tampered with.
Gamma and color depth is different than on bunny.
Most of the grass background had to be purposely blurred to make the pasting of the bird easier.
and Magenta tint in the sky suggests unskilled color manipulation.
Fail explanation fail.
I think a lot of FAILs lose their fail-ness by having to be explained in the fail caption. We all know its an “edible prey” fail.
it would be much funnier if it just said “FAIL”… like its supposed to.
If you have to explain it to someone then they really arent fail worthy. It might also reduce the number of complete iriots who comment here.
ps:
first.
First…if by first you mean the exact opposite of first, then yes.
See, if you were hunters, you would know about falconary. The guy is training the bird. It doesnt fail at all.
The bunny’s rope is for throwing.
Was once upon a dry lake bed in Nevada. Pilot doing T&Gs over to one corner, guy training his falcon in another corner…
Self, GF, and a photog in another. The GF is wearing a feathered headdress, some beads, and about zip else for a sunset photo shoot.
From the falcon corner comes, “YOU GO GIRL!”
The GF mumbles, “A$$hole!”
Major case of “get over yourself”. Dude was crowing cuz his bird nailed the stuffed bunny
The bird had sex with a playboy model after she ate too much? That’s kinky.
Ha! That made my night. Did you photo shop this or was this like the luckiest shot ever?
Either way, awesomeness.
I think it’s from the live action movie adaptation of the book of bunny suicides.
This should be retitled “Photoshop fail”.
The bunny has strong lighting coming from the right yet the lighting on the bird is strong from the left with no light on its front as there would be if it was in the same light as the bunny.
The hawk has jesses on. That’s obviously the lure, and the hawk knows full well that when it stoops on it, its handler is going to feed it. FAILBLOG FAIL.
Actually…this is a Win. The raptor is being trained. This could be a bird that is to be released into the wild or it’s being training for hawking.
Take a read of Life in a Medieval Castle by Gies and Gies. Raptors were first trained to go after dummy targets before being let after real prey.
IT’S A TRAP!!!!!!!1
FAKE
NOPE
did anyone notice it was a hawk not an eagle
TAXONOMY FAIL
Somebody get Admiral Ackbar.
Won’t he be pissed. lol
It has jesses on its legs. It’s in training.
That is falconry training to train a bird how to hunt in the wild. NOT FAIL
Clearly photoshopped, ruins the picture.