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PANCAKES.
Fuck you
Not right now, I have a headache
bet it was a woman lol
In Soviet Russia, headache has you =D
Wherever you go, there you are.
3rd
That rhymes with turd and you smell funny, you’re a bit brown and runny. Shall I say it?
Please, don’t.
Why?
IT’S STILL CHRISTMAS!
*Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells*
Haven’t you ever heard of Mr. Hanky? Poos like Xmas too, you know.
I once googled diarrhea and it was in my google toolbar later when I had to capture a screenshot and send it to several of our engineers in Florida. Several “why did you google diarrhea” emails later…
Yeah, but think of how much worse it could have been… *erase history*
Oh no, the dirty stuff I use one of my other computers.
i think you accidenty the whole “for play” thing
I don’t think Ry would accidenty the foreplay thing.
She is always very careful with the important things.
try an action verb
OH CRAP!!!!!
Well, duh.
You are evil evil evil. Now I am craving pancakes.
Flaps Ry’s jack. Better?
I satisfied my craving with something new at Denny’s called Pancake Poppers. Quite good. Reminds me of donut holes but they taste like pancakes. I am content on that but I suddenly want a hot dog after talking to Lunchbox
But do you want Fangelico or Mrs. Butterworth’s on them?
Perhaps some of that Vermont syrup?
or some ham…
HOW DOES THAT EVEN HAPPEN????????
TASTE GOOD !
First y0
Fail y0
y0 y0.
I pity da fool.
And the entire Night Elf Mohawk Clan!
Nelfs and belfs have two sexes: Female, and prettier Female.
Ha, no one is first this time because of me.
“My name is Ultiomandias, king of kings:
Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!”
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare,
The lone and level sands stretch far away.
We wonder, and some hunter may express
Wonder like ours, when through the wilderness
Where London stood, holding the wolf in chase,
He meets some fragment huge, and stops to guess
What wonderful, but unrecorded, race
Once dwelt in that annihilated place.
Nice! VERY nice! Whose is it?
(Pssst…he likes it when you admire his gigantic Leg…!)
His–whah–huh…Do what to WHO?
Aww….you look a little Shelley-shocked. Here, have an eggnog.
The poet Percy Shelly and his friend, Horace Smity, each wrote a poem on “Ozymandias,” in a friendly competition with each other. The idea for the poem apparently coming from a fragmentary piece of Egyptian statuary in the British Museum.
.
Fuzz has quoted from Shelley’s poem; Marius has quoted from Smith’s. (Both poems appear in the Wikipedia article on Ozymandias.)
typo in the above — “Smity” is meant to read “Smith”
.
(not to be confused with a certain puddy tat)
Ahh… JEI, actually! *swigs eggnog* Thanks, Dragonwriter! A toast to you all. (Brandy, is it?)
(Dragon-grog. Very potent.)
Werry potent stuff indeed, when mixed with peotry. Exchuse me– poetry.
Ourgh, crap, someone said it…. “First” is a big fail..
Is it your identical twin?
Litter brothers is the same as identical twins?
Maybe not, but they litter just the same.
But they are not litter-ate.
obliterate, perhaps.
Nice landing
well factory, you’re the first to actually comment on the fail.
He did comment on the fail, didn’t he. I say that we banish him for this gross breach of etiquette.
“Factory” shall go shovel cars onto the snowpile.
porn
corn
born
torn
^The Aristocrats!! ^
forlorn
Rip Torn
storn
Um, Storm
*scorns*
*honks horn*
adorn
If thou failest, thou art lorn!
Hell hath no fury like a woman’s scorn
pr0n , id say..
Prawn, I’ll order.
Pawn, your move.
Dawn, they’re dead.
Lawn, not mowed.
Unoriginal fail.
He did not fail at being unoriginal. And you don’t own all the lawn comments in the world. There is no monopoly on lawn comments. Maybe he dislikes you and completely ignores all your comments so he didn’t even see that you had posted anything about lawn. You really should think before you type. And brush between meals and don’t forget to floss.
Lawn, under snow.
Lawn, to and fro.
Law’n order.
Lawn have mercy? (meh)
Lawn of a new day.
Lawn of Satan.
Lawn time ago in a galaxy far, far away.
Lawn, I am your fodder.
You can be my lawnman anytime.
(all a-)Lawn the watchtower
All a-lawn here, by myself…
Don’t be forlawn.
I never will, when I have you to lawn on.
(ps…*HUGHUGHUGHUGHUGH!* You made me cry–in the good kinda way. *smooooooch*)
(*Hugh*?? How did HE get in there??)
Don’t be sad.
*Wipes tears with lawn.*
You guys are always clawning around… you make me laugh!
*goes to watch Lawn Chaney movie*
I mowed over what to write. The first, overlawn version was cut down quite a bit.
Tears? Salt and stuff it, get ahold of yourself!
Oo.
I’d be interested in reading the overlawn version, if you were so inclined to send it to me one day.
And…wouldn’t you rather get ahold of me instead? We get alawn soooo well, after all. *grin*
*A lawn overdue complement to Dragon and Admiral*
As always, both of your efforts are lawndable.
We obvious belawn together!
(Hee…I can’t believe you actually read my book.)
I accidenty my ly.
*ker-SPLORTCH!*
*swings down from the hanging gardens of babylawn*
*SQUEEZE*
*climbs back up the steppes and vanishes*
FOR THE LOVE OF GAWD, DON’T SAY CZECHOSLOVAKIA!!
*takes some lawndanum*
You’re all grassholes.
I haz a grasshole
But Tony Orlando remains in guarded condition…
Lawn, you mowed.
Yawn, I’m bored.
Shawn, I’m psyched.
Flan, I crèmed.
Flem, I coughed.
Flemming, Ian bonded.
Lemming, I leapt.
Lemon, I jacked.
Lemon, I gave head.
Line forms here. Please take a number and be seated. When I call your number, step forward with your zipper down and she will be quick about it.
Wait, they have to buy me jewelry first.
*pulls out cracker jack ring* What will this get me?
Kneegroin
Does a pearl necklace qualifies as jewelry?
I’ll tell myself it does, because he’ll never buy me a real one *cries in corner*
Well, if you give me that pearl necklace I’m guessing you won’t be needing…. well, you know.
♪ And the colored girls go
Doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo ♪
precursor is needed, kthx.
How on earth did this happen?
Each decided to use their vehicle as sleigh.
this is what happens when you don’t move your car during a snow emergency.. when the town DPW tractors come through to plow, they’ll toss your vehicle right on top of the snowbanks.. seen it happen before
Overzealous shoveling?
It didn’t happen on Earth, it fell from space.
Well, except the landing bit. That happened on Earth, obviously.
It’s not on earth, it’s on snow
Actually, the picture was flipped upside down. Thec ar is really right-side up – they piled snow, upside-down dumpsters and a shipping container carefully on top of it.
I have snow idea.
*bangs head on desk*
I actually live right close by to where this fail occurred, the car’s still in the snowbank, too! It was a junk car that had gotten covered in a storm we had that dumped a good foot of snow on us Christmas Eve. And now you know!
?taht si ftW
Are you on drugs?
.Sye
ɹɐɔ ɐ s,ʇı
wtf?!!
You see, this is what happens if the Hulk doesn’t get his Christmas presents.
It might’ve been a bull. The car’s red.
Or a MinotaurHulk.
There’s a red Hulk, now, too.
Hell Boy, howdy.
It might’ve been a Red Bull. I hear you crash pretty good on that.
*announcer voice* It’s a car! It’s a red car! It’s a red car with a radio! Back to you, Dave…
This is just baffling.
This is what happens when whipping shitties in the FailMart parking lot goes horribly wrong.
ZOMG, how the heck did he DO that?!?!? *impressed*
ZOMG, why the heck did you TYPE like this? *not impressed*
Let’s see what this baby can do….. *revs*
*looks under Mookie’s hood* Is that a piercing?
No, Erick accidentally nicked me with one of his ‘toys.’
*kisses it and makes it better*
X 50
….. aaaannnnnddd, there goes the innuendo machine, bursting into flames again…
Oo. You okay there??
*tries to help by patting out the fire*
Uh, I think that’s gonna make it worse…
Yup, that definitely didn’t help matters much… I think it needs something wet to quench the flames.
Where’s Ry when I need her. *sigh*
Hey, you weren’t supposed to see that
the works of antigravity cat… i recognize the patterns..
For all you lolcat lovers, I have one thing to say now that Christmas is over. Cats do not live in the attic or basement. They do not type funny, heck they don’t type at all, they can’t be bothered. They do not speak to other cats and moreover, they do not like hamburgers. I had a cat and he would not eat human food. So you just keep your lolcat comments over in the land of lolcats and don’t try to pollute the smutty waters of failure with lolcat references.
Oude zeur! (Babelfish that!)
Sacre bleu! (Babelfish what?)
Well, I tried, and Babelfish is now swimming upside down in circles in its tank, turning blue.
why is he turning blue? Is he…drowning?
Yes, well, those little fishies can’t hold their breath when they are upside down. It croaks them.
Has a happee Holland Daze, old nag!
)
And keeps your fingers in teh dykes!
( … unless of coarse you liek the van dycks some moar
Hollandiase? yomyomyom
Hey! I have two cats and they eat chesseburgers. They may be plotting to take over the world as well.
Do they drink soda out of their cleavage, as well?
That would be some talented poosy!
That’s nothing! Watch this! *blows smoke rings*
Oooohhhh…Bravo!
Mookie, you’re my hero. Teach me your ways.
Question #14: What do you like in a cougar?
427 V8 With a four on the floor stick. (Merc-O-Matic was such a let down.)
You mean, besides ME??
I believe the correct FB answer is, “My d*ck.”
Oh, no! You’ll get…..cervical cancer!!!! *i had to*
Interesting. All of the blogs attached to this website share common jokes and many common fans between them. I find the connections between the communities part of the wonderful thing about this site.
Cats eat human food. u no believes? We has videos.
Sum cats iz fur living in basements and maybe even ceilings, but maybe dem has mean ownerz.
I find it funny you think anything on this blog could be… polluted
*steps back and lets Ry handle this*
Lolcats were born on Caturday on /b/, and though I think /b/’s are MUCH funnier, I have a soft spot for the lolcat folk, they’re cute. I don’t know, but I don’t think they’d bitch us out for commenting over there.
Or, I should say, this is cute:
“Kojote
December 26th, 2008 at 6:03 am
.
the works of antigravity cat… i recognize the patterns..”
.
but this:
Tianashen
December 26th, 2008 at 7:10 am “Sum cats iz fur living in basements and maybe even ceilings, but maybe dem has mean ownerz.”
.
is sort of misplaced.
You are correct on your summation that they would not bitch at us for commenting but do you think they would welcome the types of smutty comments we make to pollute their innocent lolcats?
I t’ought I taw a smutty tat!
*googles*
Woop!
LUNCHBOX!!
Next thing she’s going to say is Santa Claus isn’t real!
What? Santa isn’t real? Say it isn’t so!!! *slashes wrists and bleeds all over the Easter Bunny*
Kewl!
If I could slash my wrists and bleed all over the Easter Bunny, I’d be so happy.
lolcats have no place in failblog, you are correct.
Everyone has a place here. Even pain in the posterior trolls. If we start editing the populace it is going to get awfully quiet here about.
I have no problem with lolcatters.
On another note, graphjam did do a graph criticising usage of the word fail. I think the ICHC family of sites is dysfunctional.
First!
First to comment on my comment?
That’ll open a whole new weird can of worms.
Ohai!
*squeeeeeeeeeeeeze!*
*leaps into a waiting Lamborghini and zooms away*
A Lamborghini!! My, you did have a good Christmas.
A drive-by lolcat squeezing.
You don’t see them everyday.
I’m honoured.
Well. the Recent Comments part does not work well.
it looks as if i’ve already said the comment i tried to paste there …
not work well? ok
Disfunctional family?! I want in!
I disagree. Our cats adore human food, and make their point quite vocally every night at dinnertime.
Xtreme Parking… the newest reality show!
Id watch that, thats sad akshully
“Actually”, actually.
Oh, and your delivery is here: two apostrophies and a full stop. Use them well.
^ too much ego, akshully, not enough Id
His Karma is getting trampled by our Dogma…
*Agrees with Fuzz.*
Not enough super as well akshully.
I Sigmund what you did there…
I was afreud no one would notice.
Well, I HAVE been feeling somewhat Lacanic.
I think you have felt that way since you were Jung.
Can you say Whoopsie! LOL
http://www.anonymity.cz.tc
Can you say SPAM! LOL
Can you say, ‘helping pedophiles and cheaters’?
102TH!!!
103TH!!!
TH fail.
Failure to recognize a running gag.
compact car disposal win
Lots of car failing as of late. Maybe that’s why gas is so cheap…
If I’m not mistaken…thats a 4th generation Toyota Tercel =)
I should know seeing as i have a white one
Thanks for your completely irrelevant posting. We can all sleep better now, with the knowledge that your car is white, manufactured by Toyota, and looks good upside down on a snowbank.
i just don’t see it
lol
White on white translucent black tires. . .
Weee! That was fun, let’s do it again!
The sequals are never as good as the first ones.
This isn’t funny.
How the Hell did that even happen?
Damn! I knew I shouldn’t have parked there.
must be godzilla’s strike. buba fears
This is not how we usually park our cars, you know?
But how the hell did he put his car up there? Has he tried car-skiing?
That’ll buff right out