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Cheezburger Network Blog
OMGWTFBBQ QQ!
I’ve never tried that.
Never tried Raping? What’s wrong with you?
…
I’m raping to the beat
and me, the groove, and my friends are gonna try to move your feet
*shoots self*
*steals jp’s jewelry & wallet*
*gains conscience*
*calls 911 in case it wasn’t actually fatal*
*looks around for rich old ladies with fat purses*
What are you? some kinda leech lady?
I gots Christmas bills to pay!
Speaking of leeches, I’m hungry, you wanna treat me to lunch?
Is Subway ok?We gotta eat healthy now. And cheap, unless you
have some old lady’s purse.
I did manage to snag Santa’s wallet, but do you know where we can exchange a pile of Yen, Zlotys, Krone, Euros, and Pesos into something Burger King or Subway will take?
Rap rapes my ears
yes it does.
you’re not the only one
But rap(e) is just so good!
Ouch! That´s a bad fail.
Finally some recognition for the musical skills a lot of rapers undoubtebly posess.
HAHAHAHA
Comment of the year.
whoawhoawhoa, we cant just go around handing out those awards
Maybe we can’t, but I can.
They’ve got great rhythm.. there’s weekly rapes after all.
And the phrase ‘beat makers’ takes a whole new meaning.
Meat bakers
Meat basters.
Beat Masters
Beast Masters.
Bass Masters.
Blaster Master
Faster Master
Faster, Mister!
Sister Fister.
Mister Kissed Her
(sorry for the ‘mister’ repeat, I couldn’t help my self)
Oyster Tester.
Trust her sensor
MENSA fencer
Duster Luster
Must He Trust Me?
Baster Taster.
Master Baster
yyYYEYYEESS!!!!
Faster, master!
ass to blast, or?
Nester Pester.
Lester the Molester
Zester Quester.
Over the Shoulder Bolster Holder.
Milo Minderbinder.
Milo Silo
Incester caresser
holly wolly nolly pilly peely pooly polly by golly
PENIS.
Mightier.
Gender Bender.
meat puppets
Twisted Sister
Silo hydrobender
If you read this comment, your retarded. >.>
Dont ask me im just bored.
THAT WAS SO WIN!! that whole thread, congrats.
blister fester
the more you kick it the more it screams
the more you lick it the more it creams
Don’t stop screaming ’til daddy creams err stops?
I scream for ice cream.
so many possible replies with innuendo, so much indecision
Damn…is the innuendo machine broken again.
*sigh*
*grabs wrench*
Okay, lemme at Lunchbox’s pants.
Erm, isn’t them the wrong pants?
surely there’s an more “admirable” pair?
Heee…!
But the innuendo machine lives in Lunchbox’s pants, so…what’s a dragon to do?
Perform a grand and elaborate heist with a diverse portfolio of loveable professional thieves during lunchbox’s laundry day?
Oooh! I LIKE it!
So. You in??
Yeah, I got lockpicking skills, a penchant for hawiian shirts, and a callous and condescending demeanor that belies my true inner softy niceguy. I just need a loveable street urchin with an unbendable jolly streak to crack my shell…
.
Yeah, I’m in.
The more you suck it the more it leans
I’m going to have to take your word for it.
police is really out of ideas this days
Yeah, they’re REALLY after those producer’s asses.
Poice are realy out of l’s these days.
? previous fail reference ?
I’m not sure that I agree with you 100% on your poice work, Czuhc.
I agree: czuhc’s poicies need improving.
It’s not his fault, he’s dysexic.
There’s nothing wrong with my sex, thank you very much !
Well, I’m no urologist, but… That just doesn’t look right. How do you find pants that fit?
*blushes*
Well, I usually stuff it in one of the trouserlegs.
When it gets to the point that you need to tuck it in your boot, give me a call. We’ll do lunch.
genuinely LOL !
*goes out and buys some really long boots*
*is striding in the most peculiar way*
*appraises the gait* Hmmmm….
LOL again !
You guys are killing me!!
yo, yo, CZU H.C. –
.
♪ ♪ Those BOOTS are made for WALKIN’
In a MOST peculiar WAY ♪♪
.
___
*this sampling rape brought to you in violation of copyrights held by David Bowie and Nancy Sinatra is in no way intended for burning Compact Dicks
*hands Fuzz some penicillin for the burning*
yo, yo, MOOK I.E.
.
♪ ♪ Your LOVE is a BURNIN’ thang
And it MAKES a FIERY ring ♪ ♪
.
—–
*penicillin sample gratefully accepted (glad to know you got a refill on that prescription)
*scoooooooooooooootch*
*Falls off edge of bench*
*Makes a snow angel*
*scotches this activity before Marius catches a cold*
*hands Marius a single malt*
*looks at Scotch longingly, with big, mournful green eyes*
*lower lip protrudes just ever so subtly*
*takes a nip*
*slips a sip to your lips*
*sips*
*dips at the hips*
Whats with the rhyming? this conversation seems to have a sexual connotation…
What??? Oh no. That’s all in your imagination.
SEXUAL CONNOTATION??!?! HERE?!?!?!
*runs to hide in Lunchbox’s pants*
Who’s lunch? Have I met her before?
Yeah, you bagged her.
So, would it be going too far to say that I’ve eaten out of lunch’s box?
What did they use them for ?
They’re keeping them in the evidence room, with all the other fun stuff they confiscate.
*sign sign pass*
Ooohhh, Christmas cheer! *sign sign pass*
Rastafarians observe Christmas on January 7th. That is the date traditionally held to be when the infant Jesus was given gifts by the Three Wise Men, among whom was Balthazar the Ethiopian. Or, as writings of the wise man, Petty the Heartbreaker, put it –
.
So let’s get to the point
Let’s roll another joint
Pastafarians observe Cannolimas on February 31st. That is the date traditionally held to be when baby Noodle was given to the 3 wise guys, among who Was Pesci of Joe, the Sicilian. Or as the writings of the wise man, Andrew Dice Clay, put it –
.
Jack be nimble, Jack be quick
Jack’s got a 21 inch …
Where’s the fail?
rapper v raper
Shouldn’t it be like… rapist?
Both are in the dici…you know.
I believe the politically correct term is “nonconsensual sex engineer.”
Or “a guy who likes sex”
All guys who like sex are rapists?
Ok, just had every man I’ve ever met arrested. Any more bombs to drop??
I hate to drop this on you, but, you know that jolly old guy in the red suit that likes people to sit on his lap? Well. . .
*shoves socks into Marius’s mouth-
Hush!
He told me if anyone found out about that, I’d get the blame.
Mmmff unfer oof wiffo plahhh! Socks?! Blech!
Are you some kind of terror elf Jess?
It’s just that he- he-
-sobs-
I’m trying to stop, okay?
Gasp! You have a tingle for Cringle?
No, I just work for him…
sometimes he just likes to put me in his lap
and play “games” with him.
I don’t want to do it,
but he said if I stopped, he’d fire me.
-sniff-
THERE’S my peal socks.
*puts them on*
…….!!!
Um…why are they so soggy?
*hands Dragon the penicillin* You might need this if you handled those socks.
Hey, Not from my mouth!
In the end, I bet those weren’t in your mouth.
I wasn’t the one kissing Santa Clause.
Nah, that was your mum.
*zips in*
Sorry to interrupt the hilarity of this thread, but…
Admiral, I just received a parcel from a dear friend in Europe (who often reads this blog but never comments). I opened the presents and…
…she sent me peal socks.
*jingle jingle jingle!*
*GRIN!*
Does somebody want to explain to me what peal socks are?
The Admiral invented them. He made them out of Paul socks (previous fail) and put bells on them and gave them to me so that he could find me more easily…but mostly he just likes knocking them off on a regular basis with his really big, REALLY sexy…brain.
Heee! Thank you dear friend in Europe, wherever you are!
Dragon, aside from a pathologist, who measures a sexy brain in inches?
I was speaking metaphorically, sweets.
:p
(Oh, and btw…I have, in my life, actually measured a human brain.)
*grin*
I’m curious as to hear the story behind that one.
Most of them. The rest are just perverts. If you know a guy who likes sex report him to authorities. If you know a guy who CLAIMS he likes sex, just ignore him because he’s a virgin who only knows sex from movies.
That’s all there is.
OK!
Ummm, Phaet?
Which “authorities” do we report 1/2 of the adult population of the Earth? Because XY% (where XY>1/2) of the “authorities” are part of that adult population and are going to say, “Sooo, and your point is?” And quite a few will ask you to have sex with them.
Police will do
I’m starting to think she’s a particularly adept troll.
And I’m starting to like you, trollie, you’re probably a dude, and funny.
Pfft. I’ve thought that for ages now.
Though it’s hit-or-miss on the “adept” part at times.
I just saw the new stuff, gimme a minute! I was doing stuff!
Heee!
Lucky stuff.
Drat! I never did find that hidden camera.
I have a name, you know
Or “a guy who likes unconsentual sex.”
Well, chances are if the rapee is trying to mace and scratch the rapist’s eyes out, “a guy” isn’t “liking” it.
It’s just the best he can get ever since that high school math teacher rejected him.
mmm, mace — so scentual
Scentual?
My, my, smelly mace is rather unpleasant.
Especially the kind that smells like beef jerkey, eggs, and insect repellent.
Those damn scientists just aren’t up to it anymore.
Scentual?
Smelly mace is rather unpleasant.
Expecially the kind that smells like eggs, beef jerkey, and insect repellant.
Those damn scientists just aren’t up to it anymore.
It’s such a shame.
Double post,
Failblog loves to lie to me.
“It seems as though you’ve already posted that”
well, just go shove it up your-
but u did already post that… twice
Sniff, it brings tears to my eyes.
^ scentimental
^ nonscentsical
^scentsimilla
^ descent in reefer madness
95 perscent of scensimilla users will have nonscentsical scentiments
^acquiescent
We wants it, we needs it –
must have more than half the prescience.
Ah, this is reminescent of a previous run.
I think the comments are more iridescent on this thread.
This senescent thread is already slowing down, and it hasn’t gotten indecent yet.
thats because you arent being condescending about the consensual essence
Aww…and I was absent when my Admiral was here. Now I can’t show him my naughty Santa suit that accentuates my attributes.
Well, that’s okay. He always lights up the blog when he’s here, so things will be incandescent soon.
i wanna hear somebody read these last few comments with a lisp
“…naughty Thanta thoot”?
Dragon, some might find that Santa suit indecent. Personally, I’d like to find it when we’re in descent.
*is acquiescent*
^ not a thintillating image.
PUNS!!!!
Here??! What?!
Perish the thought.
punish the thought
Where’s Carmen Sandiego?
Currently in prison on charges of fraud, forgery and child prostitution.
Last I heard, PeeWee Herman made him his b*tch.
I thought Carmen Sandiego was a woman…
It turns out he/she was hiding a penis…
I knew there was something wrong under that coat
So is Waldo really a woman???
too*
Mrs. Peacock was a man.
Don’t feel bad, a lot of guys got taken in. It DOES NOT mean you’re gay.
Unless you rubbed on out to thoughts of “her”.
*throws “e” up to comment*
I didn’t watch the show, I don’t even know what it’s about.
I did a lot of things I’m not particularly proud of…
Who the hell is that???
“The WARRANT!”
Rockapella!
“THE LOOT!”
Jailtime Challenge!
Let’s go to the map!
I don’t listen to hiphop
*golf clap*
Omg…I snorked coffee out my nose.
Doo Wap, do de do day…
Doobie-doobie…
*sign, sign, pass*
*Forgive me, I’m a slave to nostalgia*
.
Well, she sneaks around the world from Kiev to Carolina,
She’s a sticky-fingered filcher from Berlin down to Belize.
She’ll take you for a ride on a slow boat to China. Tell me
Where in the world is Carmen Sandiego?
Steal their Seoul in South Korea, Make Antarctica cry “Uncle,” from the
Red Sea to Greenland, they’ll be singing the blues.
Well they never Arkansas her steal the Mekong from the jungle. Tell me
Where in the world is Carmen Sandiego?
She goes from Nashville to Norway, Bonaire to Zimbabwe,
Chicago, to Czech and Slovakia* and back!
Well, she’ll ransack Pakistan, and run a scam in Scandinavia,
Then she’ll stick ‘em up down under and go pick-pocket Perth.
She put the “Miss” in misdemeanor when she stole the beans from Lima. Tell me
Where in the world is Carmen Sandiego?
She go from Botswana to Thailand, Milan via Amsterdam
Mali, to Bali, Ohio, Oahu!
Well she glides around the globe, and she’ll flim-flam every nation
She’s a double-dealing diva with a taste for thievery.
Her itinerary’s loaded up with moving violations. Tell me
Where in the world is Carmen Sandiego?
Hey, what’s brown and rhymes with snoop?
Dr. Dre!!
LOL!
And, hey, what do you call Snoop on a bungee cord?
“YO YO, DOG!”
moop?
wow.
Toldja.
Where’s Jimmy Hoffa ?
In your other boot.
Mookie, Mookie…stop it ! Just stop it !
lol, that’s Mookie’s bag, baby
If you can’t take the heat, zip up your pants
She must be doing it wrong, (finds this hard to believe), I’ll take over.
OH! You were chaffing him Mookie! Next time pull the boots off first!
It’s hard to separate the wheat from the chaff…especially on a big stalk.
It’s hard to separate the curds from the whey…especially with a blunt spoon.
It’s hard to separate the emotional priorities of the increasingly orgasmic
experience of new tantric techniques from the effects of running to the store to buy Purina Cat Chow…especially with a cat on the bed howling.
*cringes*
*masturbates*
*blinks*
*doesnt care*
*Surprised that the most perverted thing in this thread involved neither himself, Mookie, or Ryannon.*
The audition was a felony.
The audition was a fellatio.
I was rejected because of my clef palate.
Was it the wrong china pattern?
Def Palate! My fav
raperrapper!Judges ruling? We were looking for Hummer or Humming a Tune.
Did anyone else notice the second fail? “Here your chance”….maybe its “Hear your chance” or “Here is your chance?”
Pretty monumental fail here, lol.
No fail in my opinion.
And “Hear your chance” ???
Or were you using irony ?
hear your chant
here is your chart
Why does it say DNR?
It means “Do Not Reexamine”. Its proper length has been established by the physicians after several measurements and now it has to stop.
= deoxyribonucleic rancid
(something bad in the jeans)
Department of Natural Resources.
(something bad in the streams)
Try to imagine all life as you know it stopping instantaneously and every molecule in your body exploding at the speed of light.
That felt gooood.
*Lights a cigarette*
thats called a bad acid trip
wrong flashback, sayyodayodel
.
(as a wise yoda once yodeled … towards the bottom of this page … apparently on acid … theres a point where the comment is off, but still kinda relates to the subject, remotley. Then theres a line and on the other side of that line is comments like yours. im not being mean, just trippin.)
theres also a point where shortening it for the sake of the reader just doesnt work. good pronunciation by the way lol
reMötley! He’s the one they call Dr. Feelgood!!
Dr. Spengler is who I’m gonna call (bustin’s what makes him feel good).
Yes, have some.
DNR = DO NOT RAPE (Willing Victim)
How about the third fail?
“To Make A (CD)”
Why the fuck is “CD” in parenthesis AND why is there a massive space between it and the beginning of the sentence.
And capitalization fail too.
They left it in parentheses to leave it up for the viewer to change it mentally as they please. Oh the things that would go great in that spot…
DNR? Dynamically Nimble Raper?
Dave Nasty Rapist?
Where is DNR?
On Mookie’s chart. (Upthread.)
The real fail here is the heinous graphic design.
The emo in me is raping on the outside but crying on the inside for this sign.
the emo in me cut itself wrong and bled to death
No kidding, that’s exactly what I was thinking.
Just looking for the next R.Kelly….
100th!
Holy Shti!
Sacre Poo!
Touche’!! *wipes hot chai/spit mixture off of keyboard*
Some rapists actually have amazing singing voices. Like this one time I met Phil Collins in a dark alley…
I’ll say its a fail, they spelt Rapists wrong.
this sounds right up my street!
I’ve always wanted to make a (CD)
theres a point where the topic is off, but still kinda relates to the subject, remotley. Then theres a line and on the other side of that line is comments like yours. im not being mean, just saying.
I believe that Tom was suggesting that he himself is a rapist
theres a point in your comment that i fell asleep at and woke up with drool on my keyboard.
“english mother fucker, do you speak it?”
I must point out that, not only is it pathetically FAIL, “raper” would be incorrect anyway. I believe the correct word would be “rapist.”
Not to mention the fact that it says “Here Your Chance,” not “Here’s Your Chance.”
Grammar nerd fail/win/whichever.
I am so glad I skipped all the way down to this comment; now I don’t have to read the rest.
It’s either the late hour, or all the alcohol, but your comment made me giggle for 10 minutes, Fuzzy.
lol … happy birthday, baby!
wow. you know you look at failblog too much when your mind registers the word raper as rapper automatically. i honestly had to look at this three times before i even saw the fail.
i didnt,i was there,a lot of people got arrested that day,i escaped useing my amazing super awsome ninja skills…
OMG! RAPERS!
singers
rap(p)ers
I like how they seperated that lol
Raper actually means rap singer in spanish…
Who told you that lie? There’s no raper in the Spanish language…and that’s including slang. Translation fail.
Whats that ?? lol….some christmas cash …i think the flyer look like a little busy style…. check our music…
http://www.Brainsnflows.de
CAN I BE A RAPER?!
Alot of virgins called that number that night
mhmm raping to the beat, sounds like micheal jackson to me?
At one point I heard him say “lets get it on”
I am so not a raper!
I think it’s “rapist”. “Raper” isn’t a word. Someone probably already said this.
gravedig
No racist comments? Something must be wrong with the world…
Spell-check fail.
Moronicity win!
*cough*
Spell Check Status… FAIL
Here your chance to make a (meme)
Title Grammer fail
omg typo fail
x²
x&sub2;y&sub1;
x{{sub|2}}
They pro rapers mayneeeeeeeee
rapers doesn’t mean anything…rapist does…
whats with the numbers and symbols you retard?
cant you at least write something more creative
whats with the “OMG TYPO FAIL LOLOLOLOL”
its not like no-one else noticed it
Australian time represent
all your comments are at like 2pm but mine at 2:30am lol
yes i do have a life other than staying up till early hours of the morning typing comments