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His wife says he has the same problem at home
Yeah, his balls are white with black spots. The doctor should check that out.
He kicks his balls into a metal post? Jeez, some people like it rough… but thats across some line somewhere.
He still sucks at soccer at home?
He misses while the goal is wide open
He makes videos of his performance for people to watch and laugh at.
yeah when the goalie doesn’t stop him first.
He only hits the rim.
With that kind of aim, the wifey says they don’t even need contraceptives.
he gets to the end…but he can’t make the money shot
No, his balls are black with white spots.Now the Racist should check that out…
And like at home, make it simple and quick,
most efficient scoring (literally).
dude Joe Schmoe!
spoons are cool
spoons are REALLY cool
spoons are REALLY REALLY cool
spoons are REALLY REALLY REALLY cool
bob is not cool
i may not be but spoons ARE!!!
There is no spoon.
this pie is occupewed
What about sporks?
The spoon is a lie.
the cake is a lie
The spoon is a LIE!!!
Yes there is, you’re an uncool spoon, you spoon!
*kills the spoons*
who’s the cool one now?
just for the record. I’m not talking about me.
dont use the name of spoons is vain
I bet they think this post is about them.
i had some creams that made clouds in my coffee
(then i stirred them with a really cool utensil)
Rows and flows of angel hair
And ice cream castles in the air
And feather canyons everywhere
I’ve looked at clouds that way
But now they only block the sun
They rain and snow on everyone
So many things I would have done
But clouds got in my way
That’s what happens to both sides of life’s illusions.
I’ve got a candle,
And I’ve got a spoon
I live in a hallway
With no doors and no rooms
Under the window sill
They all were found
A touch of concrete within a doorway
Without a sound
I’ve seen the needle
and the damage done
A little part of it in everyone
But every junkie’s
like a settin’ sun.
Feel the rhythm with your hands…
Steal the rhythm while you can
Spoonman
Speak the rhythm on your own…
Speak the rhythm all alone
Spoonman…
Spoonman…
Come together with your hands
Save me.. I’m together with your plan
Save me
(Save me…)
I used ta do a little but a little wouldn’t do
So the little got more and more
60’s music and spoons are bitter foes
My work here is done.
I sleep with the sun and I rise with the moon,
But I feel alright with my needle and spoon.
isnt there a fuckin’ H in that song?
An admiral’s work is never done.
*grin*
When you’re married to ‘H’,
Man, you’re married for life.
Hey! No chasing the dragon, please!
Now don’t you be playing hard to get.
Opiate such efforts may be laudanumable in some, here
they are just considered horsing around.
Blue velvet, woe woe
but in my heart, there’ll always be, woe woe
precious and warm, a memory
through the years
and I still can see blue velvet
through my tears.
careful or you might get a smack from a leading lady
Ooh! Who is it??
I hope it’s my favorite heroin! She does kick some serious ass.
Where’s Admiral when you need him, to come riding in on a White Horse?
*drops in via parachute*
Am I needed here?
Hee…!
Always.
because it is
by the way SPOONS ARE COOL!!!!!!
But not forks. They are so forking lame.
amen
spooning is cool
Shaddap!
what are, spoons? why are they called so? what is the borderline between ethical and unethical usage of spoons? and who is to decide what is defined as using the name of spoons in vain? is not each his own? and does not each not live in his own experience? what if one lives without the experience of spoons, are they cool or uncool?
the name of spoons is vain
~~~
http://failblog.org/2008/12/22/goal-fail/#comment-217623
You know what is cool? Saladfingers! DO YOU… HAVE… RUSTY SPOONS?
YES I do have some rusty spoons
and I feel them on an hourly basis FEEL GOOD
your spunk is downright inspirational
~~~
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=rusty%20spoon
Arias and Symphonies?
how the fuck do you do that ROFL
You didn’t say first!
Blasphemy!
He means the guy can’t hit the hole at home either…tardmonkeys..
when did this get here?
it’s new
No, in fact it’s not.
Well, Weiner, if you had bothered to read the time/date stamp below the video, you’d see it was posted: “This fail picture or video was posted on Monday, December 22nd, 2008 at 10:00 am.”
Thanks for playing, here’s your parting gift.
I was referring to the poll. You silly goose!
Right, well, I figured that… I can’t view the video here at work. Still, that’s what you get for actually discussing the fail.
Haha as a matter of fact it was a double entendre! i was talking about when the video got here because i was looking for it right at ten
Lunchbox cant see the footwork on the pole
You should change your name to faibagel.
I want a bagel.
i have a bagel
what’s a bagel?
Jewish trumpet.
A jewish trumpet.
That’s nice.
Bad aim
He didn’t put his best foot forward.
He gave it his best shot, but alas still failed miserably.
He reached for the stars, and landed in New Jersey…
He thought he was kickin’, but only got a kick in the pants.
He needs to rethink his goals in life.
He also needs to seriously recalculate his net worth.
Why?
Because he won’t be taking any more kickbacks.
Oh…
You 3 should take your act on the road!
They could hoof it, like a Vaudeville show! Imagine all the intricate footwork!
Vaudeville, my foot!
Lemme show you my soft shoe routine…
Slowly I turned…step by step…inch by inch…
…Niagara Falls??
I didn’t feel like dancing.
That’s okay. I’m a rotten dancer. I do much better just standing still and leaning.
Btw…I hope you don’t mind my asking, but…how goes that perseverance you spoke of once before? Your super-powers holding up?
The situation has stabilized. I’m hopeful it will get better from here. Thanks.
S’okay. Mostly I just needed to know if I should be worrying about you or not.
Of course you need to be worried about him. Beating off all those women with a stick leads to a really bad case of tendonnitis.
No, I’m good. My shoulders are at the ready.
I’ll remember that…I’m sure to need them again at some point.
i thought we were talking about sidekicks
Oh, and btw…I may have to use a cane now, but you know that my own shoulders are as strong as ever.
I’d loan you my legs, Dragon, but I’m afraid that the juxdaposition that would create would be a turn-off.
.
Besides, size 14 feet look good on no one.
Show off.
Anna: You know what they say about men with big feet.
William: No, I don’t, actually. What’s that?
Anna: Big feet… large shoes.
Large socks too.
i thought we were talking about size kicks
You think that’s a show-off, but when I first got my growth spurt, it went all to my feet. Picture a 9 year old with feet that look like they belong to a clown.
We’re the same height and I wear a size 12, so I know you’ve got big feet. I was just kidding, bud.
I don’t know how big my brother’s feet are, but they’re big. A size 13 or something. My dad can’t wear his hand-me-downs, they’re so big. And my brother’s only 16. Of course, he’s ecstatic about it. He only just now got his growth spurt…
Sometimes I wonder if I could run on water if I were fast enough, what with there pontoons attached to the ends of my legs.
Maybe he should make a new goal in life.
I’d recommend retiring from the game of soccer post-haste.
Before he is carded away.
You mean they might kick him out?
Well, there’s got to be some kind of penalty.
I guess he’s cornered.
YOU MOROOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!!! I BET 20$ ON THAT GAME!!
Now it’s gone
lol
That’s why you bet $20 on each game.
YOU MOROOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!!! THE DOLLAR SIGN GOES ON THE OTHER SIDE!!
Now it’s gone
These days, the dollar fluctuates to the other side.
Sorry I’m not from Canada
Dont be, id hope you realize what time of year it is and the distance between canada and the equator.
It’s not that bad, given that something like 80% of the population live within 100kms of the border. Most of us are only ever so slightly north. And here is a fun fact for ya: 27 of your states are at least partially further north of the southernmost tip of Canada (about 41 N).
I’m one of those. Moved from Kitchener, Ontario to near Seattle, WA.
That was about 7 degrees NORTH from where I was.
Well i moved from South Carolina, its still cold!
Great save!
I wouldn’t want to be in his shoes.
that would be a left-footed complement
I wouldn’t want to be in his shoes either…that would be an uncomfortable and tiny place to live.
And smelly. Don’t forget smelly.
http://www.myspace.com/warlocksofmetal
Check it out!
It’s warlocks! It’s metal! sort-of…
S.P.A.M.- Go Suck Putrified Anal Maggots.
Have I mentioned lately that you rock?
*hug!*
Sadistic
Petty
Anal retentive
Messages
Well, Dragon my dear, if I rock, you Roll!!!
*HUGS!!*
why do you exist?
Sadly, that’s not the stupidest play I’ve ever seen.
was it wading for godot?
*snork*
Yes, Vladimir and Estragon stand ankle-deep in water with their pants rolled up to their calves while they discuss the existential meaning of human existence.
Stupidest play I’ve ever seen was Rats.
I went to a ballet once that came across as a mix between Sleeping Beauty and Dune. Even after reading the synopsis I didn’t have a clue what was happening.
I could have told them that my computer won’t be coming to meet them if they’re standing in water.
Care to elaborate?
Jaap Stam’s penalty v Italy in Euro 2000 springs to mind.
aww that’s totally a wiiiin
weinerbagel=pimmelbagel omg onoz wtf
Man, that is one epic fail.
Snatching defeat from the jaws of victory!
Somethings are better left alone.
And others are better with a *smooch* and a *hug*.
You always score with me!
GOOOOOAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLllllllll!!!!!!!!!!!!
I like catching you off guard!
yeah, sometimes your left foot is better off not touching your balls too many times if you wanna score
Foot??? Balls??? Damn you, IT department, I want to see this video!!! You and your video-blocking software can go straight to H.E.L.L.!
Lunchbox needs some foot-ball succor
A guy passes a ball (one of his) into the box; the keeper tries to grab it but misses; then another guy tries to score but hits the crossbar instead the end.
Failed to mention that it was wide open.
Failed to mention that he was also about 2 feet away tops.
also failed to mention its got nuthin to do with a pronounced sexual interest in feet or footwear
Dont worry the IT department cant see it either
Damn man, I gotta work on my yoga. I didn’t know that was possible!
HAHA
AHAH
HAAH
BAJA HUM BUG
Baja 1000
8181
Lunchbox
Nice new avatar! It even has your Name on it!
Roast Beef Po-Boy with Swiss?
Thanks, Bob, alas it will be no more when Gravatar updates it in a few… but, yes, with a delicious remoulade sauce and some roasted red peppers to finish it off!
Odd! I’m suddenly really hungry.
*scampers off to beg some lunch*
I’ve got a bag of peanuts for $3 if you’re interested.
Mmmmm! Peanuts?
*Scrounges up $2.37, 3.14159265 acorns and a stick shaped like a Camel*
Close enough?
Sure, why not.
soccer blows
Hey, I didn’t know that was your mom’s nickname! All this time I’ve been calling her Gidget!
sucker blows
That was my prison name.
*crickets*
*wiffleballs*
*peanutbutter*
Your mom does too
So does your mom
THAT MUST’VE HURT.
Funny thing is, on my screen, next to the soccer video is an ad. The ad’s about subscribing for soccer tv, and you see people actually [b]scoring[/b] in that ad.
As they say in American Football when the field goal kicker hits the uprights:
DOINK!
That’s odd. “Doink” is the same noise I make when I flick my husband’s nipple! Eerie….
Off topic, Helena, how are you enjoying these single digit temperatures?
I love living in California, spent Saturday walking around Santa Cruz in a tee shirt. Yes I was wearing pants too.
Raelalt, you know I hate you right now, yes? Only in the freindliest of ways, of course, but I hate you nonetheless…
*longs for California*
heh heh. Yes I know.
Sorry, the words froze in my mouth…ugh. *:’0*
i have triple digit ones
Is it legal to score from that close when the Goalkeeper is out of the box?
Well, no. That’s why he didn’t.
So then where’s the fail?
In your hand.
HAHAHA
O, sorry, I was joking. Perhaps not funny ha-ha then, more like funny peculiar.
Don’t worry Aja, MOST of us got it.
Of course it is. If the goal keeper ran out, you can pass him and score.
…then roll…
Thank you very much
obviously he was trying to alley oop it off the goalpost to himself and head it in. it’s gonna be awhile before futbol is up to the level of showboating that basketball has seen.
thats what she said!
gf toto…. i bet €5,- on that game
(toto is a dutch soccer lottery)
ill give all of you a bag of peanuts if you stay on topic.
We don’t work for peanuts.
I’m glad I wasn’t eating one right now or I would have ejected it out my nose.
…ow.
and just when our hero was about to kick the ball, Lucy snatched it away
I prefer to separate my hero from his sock with a line drive across the pitcher’s mound.
Er…his socks, even.
*grin*
Hee!
One sock is enough, for now. You’re rehabbing that shoulder, remember? Slow and steady and the power will come back in good time…
It seems that every fail posted on this website has the same people commenting over and over again, and they always seem to go off topic. Hm, mysterious.
hm, no peanuts for you
That is because they are in a fail clique, and thrive on inside jokes, exclusions, and one-upmanship.
Thanks, Roger, for not noticing how pretty much anyone who doesn’t make a complete ass of themselves is included in the conversations here. It would have been such a complete waste of your time to actually read a few fails before making your inane and pedantic comment. The inside jokes you refer to are, 90% of the time (that’s more than half), direct references to previous fails. The exclusions you talk about are of idiots and asses who add no substantive value, and pretty much annoy everyone. Some good cases in point of this exclusion are urwrong (during his “hugging” stage), Lactose-Intolerant Daschshund, and several other notorious trolls whom we do not name, because they made it a point to be annoying and idiotic. Your claims about one-upsmanship baffle me- unless you refer to the pun-runs and back-and-forth jokes so prevalent here.
Do us all a favor, before you accuse anyone of being a clique, research your claims. We are all friendly, and make the effort to include others in the games.
I’ll bet I could have said this better than you did.
:p
Heee!
what Lunchbox fails to mention is that 90% of the time more than half of statistics are made up on the spot. but even half of 90% of us lurkers here know that WIN/FAIL-upmanship* and burns-of-the-weak are the name of the f’log game
~~~
actually, i think the politically correct term is now “upyourspersonship”
“I would never join a club that would have a guy like me as a member.”
Groucho Marx.
Without you Lunchbox, the rest of us could not remain calm.
lol
It would seem I have touched a nerve…
Well just remember to wash your hands afterward.
Superior quality!
Anpu caused this guy’s misfortune because the guy didn’t listen to Led Zeppelin. If he had listened to Led Zeppelin, he could have achieved his goal and overcome his greatest opponent yet: Dr. Metalbar, the doctor with the amazing power of being completely inanimate.
you know, i honestly think it would have been better if he got hit in the head with it, after it came off the net. and maybe an extra dash of irony when it then deflected into the goal.
Show off FAIL.
You know that announcer who goes
GOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAALLLLLLL
Well for this one he said
FAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILLLLLLLLLLLL
THIS SHOULD BE FULL 5 THUMBS DOWN!!! I guess the only true 5 thumbs downers on this site involve genitalia.
What an idiot… It also proves that hes not a good soccer player besides the fact that he missed a wide open shot-his ankle wasn’t extended straight out like taking a normal shot it was straight up!
Ahh but he has an excuse for his poor ankle position. It was caused because of his lunge there at the end. Still, it is extremely poor form, but it would have been excusable assuming he scored.
Youd be excited too.
Snuggie comes in Burgendy?
FIRST!!!
I could have done that for half of what he’s making a year, I’m sure…
Yeah, but you know that the net isn’t making anything, right?
LOL how can you miss a wide open goal like that? you just have to tap that in.
You know, that’s not throwing me a hint, that’s putting up a giant neon billboard with magnetic target to pull a “That’s what she said.” Who can resist?
That’s what she said.
What team is this anyway?
Hope he isnt playing for Columbia or he has some problems waiting for him…
Libertadores cup 2003, Boca Juniors (blue) vs Santos F.C. black n white)
Soccer knowledge EPIC FAIL, that’s in Equador cause the narrator says something about Guayaquil stadium, Boca jrs. is from argentina and Santos F.C. is from Brazil, the narrator clearly says Libertad and that team is from Paraguay. Stay in school… idiot.
Even I could have made that goal, and I’m so uncoordinated it’s an effort to type without ridiculous typos.
man this is SO old
That’s terrible.
Ljungberg managed to get it over the bar from that distance.
Must try harder.
Anyway, blue team sucks a lot.
Blue team kicks ass, find the whole game.
You guys with your irrelevant comments are a bunch of losers. What’s the point?
entertainment?
L-O-FUCKING-L
He must be offspring of george bush. Fail is his blood.
Now I’m picturing someone with blood made of fail. Or better yet, pure fail running through his veins.
Funny… you’re right, he does look a lot like George Bush.
*Takes a blood sample, observes under microscope*
“Hmm… this is interesting, Mr. President. Apparently you’ve got undiluted fail instead of blood. Interesting, but not unexpected, sir.”
IN his blood! :O
I saw that game on TV… I couldn’t believe it when I saw it.. I laughed my ass off
your mom
YOUR FREAKING MOM
And people question why Americans don’t like soccer.
OHHHH i feel bad for this guy he was right there
oh well stinks for him
That guy is definitely ded now.
como ele conseguiu errar esse gol na cara, ele deve ser o melhor do time por fazer isso.
and THAT, ladies and gents is why I don’t do sports.
hey guess wat if that happened in iraq they would put him in a closet with spikes in it!!
yep thats y america doesnt support soccer
Aww! Now he’s pissed.
Even I could’nt fail at that. Either I would barely do a goal or miss the ball and it would roll in…
I’ve seen more epic than this… Somebody kicked the ball up to a goal kick from below the bar LOL
huge epic fail