What’s really sad about you people is that you think being the first to comment on something is actually some kind of achievement or honor. What are you gonna do, write “FIRST!!!1″ on your resume?
Joe, you’re making the assumption that this calibre of person will EVER have to write a resume in the first place. Last I recalled, no resume was needed for jobs like toilet-scrubber, fast food employee or Wal-Mart greeter. And God bless them for it, I know those are jobs I will never do myself, but we need someone to do it. It might as well be them.
This blog would be so much better if they banned people for making those idiotic “First” posts…what good is a place for commentary, if every actual comment is buried under dozens of people screaming “first post” … and nothing else?
you got an any key you lucky bastard. I’m using my room mate’s mac. To get that POS to work I have to hit it with a two by four and shout threats at it just like the little kid in china who made it.
what’s even sadder is the self-righteous indignation of some, writing in the comments section of a blog.You are just jealous you weren’t first!
As Nelson says: “Ha Ha!”
Coca cola did not invent Santa Claus (Saint Nicholas) – he was sanctified by the Catholic Church. The character Santa Claus / Father Christmas as a bringer of gifts has been around for alomost 200 years, and derived from pagan traditions.
Santa Claus is a depiction of St. Nicholas, who WAS a Christian symbol… Coke turned him into something for promotional purposes (for CHRISTMAS), inventing Santa out of the image of St. Nicholas, QED, Santa is still a CHRISTMAS FIGURE.
Incidentally, the “Coca Cola invented Santa” thing is a myth. Coke simply took an existing concept (even the red and white outfit predated Coke’s usage, but Santa was also popularly depicted in other colours, usually greens and browns) and helped it become the definitive version through their advertising campaign.
I won’t finish with “idiot”, as I think you’re doing an outstanding job of making that self evident.
Sorry to be so technical, but the red suit with white trim was invented for the Coca-Cola company. The Santa character was imported from paganism into Christianity many years earlier. See also Google….
Fail #1: Santa wasn’t even invented by Coca Cola. He was around long before under various names and in various forms. Our modern version of Santa was designed by Thomas Nast in the late 1800s, PRIOR to the invention of Coca-Cola.
Fail #2: Dreidles always use the same four Hebrew characters. The characters are an abbreviation for “A great miracle happened there”, referring to the Channuka story. Any other symbol or picture–particularly Christian symbols–are straight out.
Fail #3: I don’t know what kind of super-orthodox Puritan church you attend, but in the rest of America Santa Claus is SYNONYMOUS with Christmas.
This really shouldn’t be a fail, its a joke gift that was made this way intentionally. you can buy one at http://www.mcphee.com they also have yodeling pickles and bacon flavored gum. Whoever decided this was a fail is a moron.
no no, this is done on purpose. its from a novelty toy store based in seattle called Archie McPhee. my brother-in-law actually works for them and makes some of the toys, though not this one. check it out
Maybe for Messianic Jews? More likely for goyim who want to get their Jewish friend a gift and, in pathetic, ludicrous ignorance think that THIS dreidle is a good idea.
Well, she’s a little desperate. With the advance in technology, she’s being edged out by Blue2thFairy. It’s not surprising she’d have to take on a second job.
Keep your eyes out for the new “Kris Kringle, LLC” line of Menorahs, Kwanza trees and druidic supplies. They should be arriving soon to a retailer near you.
You may be a target as well. Please enter your name, social security number, mother’s maiden name and credit card number in the following space to verify your safety:____________________________________________________
I just killed my cat but it turns out there isn’t enough pelt for the pair of socks I wanted to give my baby sister for Christmas.
Could anybody else use it?
Sammy, I’d say something (un)appropriate in response, but I don’t know that you’ve ever disclosed your age and I don’t want to violate any laws… Even cougars have a cutoff.
Wow, Tom. Thanks for that astounding display of intelligence, wit and discretion. I really think PETA will be proud to claim you as one of their staunch supporters, you’re the perfect advocate. Brains, brawn AND sensitivity!
I have lots and lots of practice, DrB. Whenever my students say, “What does this word mean?” or “What is a [fill in the blank]?”, I always tell them what my mum told me.
“Go look it up.”
(I always edit out the “you lazy bastards” part, though! *grin* )
He would probably look like Pu Tai (布袋, also transliterated, “Budai,” or, from Japanese, “Hotei”). Pu Tai is the famous “Laughing Buddha,” the fat jolly figure you often see in East Asianlocales. He is not the Buddha, Shakyamuni. Rather, he was apparently a Chinese Zen monk whom everyoneloved and later got associated with folklore motifs of the God of Good Fortune and Maitreya, the Buddha of the Future.
.
Like Santa, though, Pu Tai is often depicted carrying a sack of precious things — food, candy for children, or, in reverse motif, a collection of the woes of the world. His belly, too, is considered by some a repository of good things, and that’s why folks often rub it to glean positive vibes and good luck.
.
I’ve yet to see his image on a dreidel.
Cool typo, TMI … “everyoneloved” …
.
♪ One love! one heart!
Lets get together and feel all right. ♪
. happy rasta budda santa dreidel holidays everyoneloved
There’s a new group now, who revere rappers.. I hear they’re called Bustafarians.
.
Fuzz, it’s nice to have you back. I missed the regular TMI updates and relevant song references.
You’ve won a lifetime supply of Squeezy Cheez, the artificial cheese product that’s almost food, but not quite! If it’s almost food but not quite, it’s Squeezy Cheez!
You are probably the same guy that tells your kids there is no such thing as Santa when they are 4, won’t let them run with scissors or swim right after eating. MUST you suck all the joy out of life? Really?
Nah. Straw tells the kids that Santa is actually DEAD because he was running to the pool carrying a pair of scissors after eating a hoagie…..and had a heart attack.
yeah, I realized it was more of an originality fail and a win for redundancy after I typed it, but I was hoping no one would notice. You caught me though
I’m willing to bet that she thinks of it more as a chore, or a duty. Her kids are so close in age, one wonders if she ever got a chance to heal from the delivery of one before starting on the next!
*hands CountXero some flies, salt and slugs* Here, just pull the wings off the flies now and get it over with. And then pour salt on the slugs for your enjoyment as well.
oh come now… all of the others are legit, you guys missed one, it happens to everybody… I mean, I know the company that made this does nothing but novelty gifts, but seriously now…
dude, this was made by a company that makes fun of stuff. I’m pretty sure they knew what they were making I like their squirrel underpants….. i hate seeing naked squirrels on my lawn too!
My Jewish grandmother insisted that we celebrate Christmas. We had stockings and everything. After she died, we started doing the Chinese food and a movie thing.
this is not really a fail — the Dreidel is made by a company called Accoutrements (you can see their logo in the upper right hand corner on the package). They make joke toys that are ironic on purpose.
Someone’s prolly already pointed this out, but Accoutrements, the company that makes this Santa Dreidel, specialize in gag and ironic gifts. So, I think this is a purposeful fail. which means its not really a fail at all. just fyi.
Did anyone notice that this driedel was made by accoutrements…which is a joke/ novelty company? It is meant to be ironic! Thus, it shouldn’t really count as a fail.
First!
What’s really sad about you people is that you think being the first to comment on something is actually some kind of achievement or honor. What are you gonna do, write “FIRST!!!1″ on your resume?
Third!
You’re the reason Daddy drinks and Mommy cries.
350TH!!!!!!!!!!!!!111
351st! FTW
somethingth. I am Jewish Christian so i lol’d and rofl’d at the same time, and nearly died of a fail attack.
and we know the first onces when we see them so those people dont need to write: FIRST!
you misspelled ‘dunces’
you misspelled ‘dances’
you misspelled ‘lances’
you misspelled ‘lancet’
TENTH!!!
You misspelled ‘tents’
C-c-c-c-c-combo breaker!
Please forgive me, I’m no MD!
Better watch it, or your name will be md!
*Watches it*
Silly Santa… Dreidels are for JEWS!
santa is secetly jewish…he only ate kosher cookies for me…
I am no Maryland, either.
you misspelled “antidisastablishmentarianism”
You misspelled “antidisestablishmentarianism”
You missppelled “blintz”, “am” and seemingly impossible, “I”. You also did not puncuate ANYTHING. PUNCTUATE, PEOPLE!
MOO!
Joe, you’re making the assumption that this calibre of person will EVER have to write a resume in the first place. Last I recalled, no resume was needed for jobs like toilet-scrubber, fast food employee or Wal-Mart greeter. And God bless them for it, I know those are jobs I will never do myself, but we need someone to do it. It might as well be them.
fucking win.
I’ve heard that about him.
*wicked grin*
If he’s lookin’ fer honest work, I’ll hier him for mim wage, if he’s got sum ’sperience rapin’.
tonight…you…
She’d tear you apart, little boy. You couldn’t handle a Cougar like her!
well it was actually just an obscure ATHF reference, but hey, I could use a second job. Is that a weekly rape?
At Big Dick’s Halfway Inn
weekly rapes at Big Dicks halfway inn
Halfway only garners half pay. Just so’s you know.
No, it’ll be a trendy cafe rape. (An even more obscure reference, to Detroit Metal City.)
i wanna be named spaghetti.
Never say never, cuz’ you never know!
Uh-h, I actually gave Wal-Mart a resume’ for my Greeter job. Did I do it wrong??
This blog would be so much better if they banned people for making those idiotic “First” posts…what good is a place for commentary, if every actual comment is buried under dozens of people screaming “first post” … and nothing else?
Well, I use this little thingy over here…it’s called a “scroll button”…and it gets me past the idiots and into the good stuff every time.
You have a “scroll button”? Wow, you have a great computer, the only bonus feature mine came with is the “any” key!
mine doesn’t have the “any” key, but it still asks me to press it from time to time. I usually just reformat
you got an any key you lucky bastard. I’m using my room mate’s mac. To get that POS to work I have to hit it with a two by four and shout threats at it just like the little kid in china who made it.
i definitely agree, i don’t even bother to read half of them, cuz none of its about the post!
what’s even sadder is the self-righteous indignation of some, writing in the comments section of a blog.You are just jealous you weren’t first!
As Nelson says: “Ha Ha!”
i know, he does that all the time! but somepeople are 1/2 &1/2 so its not THAT funny….
I did, but only on my first resume.
you are a BRAIN FAIL. Does Darwin know that you slithered by?
First and a half.
why is that a fail picture? santa was invented by the coca cola industry and in fact, it isnt a christian symbol. so also jews can use santa.
idiot.
*facepalm*
Um. Wow.
Coca cola did not invent Santa Claus (Saint Nicholas) – he was sanctified by the Catholic Church. The character Santa Claus / Father Christmas as a bringer of gifts has been around for alomost 200 years, and derived from pagan traditions.
Santa, Schmanta!
please please please, to preserve my faith in humanity, that this is sarcasam
please, to preserve my faith in humanity, let this be sarcasam
Actually, Santa is representation of St. Nicolaus, christian saint.
Nobody said it yet, so I will. YOU FAIL.
Um.. wow. Multiple cultural understanding fails.
-.-
Santa Claus is a depiction of St. Nicholas, who WAS a Christian symbol… Coke turned him into something for promotional purposes (for CHRISTMAS), inventing Santa out of the image of St. Nicholas, QED, Santa is still a CHRISTMAS FIGURE.
Knowledge is not your enemy.
*points and laughs*
Google “St. Nicholas of Myra”.
Incidentally, the “Coca Cola invented Santa” thing is a myth. Coke simply took an existing concept (even the red and white outfit predated Coke’s usage, but Santa was also popularly depicted in other colours, usually greens and browns) and helped it become the definitive version through their advertising campaign.
I won’t finish with “idiot”, as I think you’re doing an outstanding job of making that self evident.
http://www.snopes.com/holidays/christmas/santa/cocacola.asp
…fail.
Sorry to be so technical, but the red suit with white trim was invented for the Coca-Cola company. The Santa character was imported from paganism into Christianity many years earlier. See also Google….
Fail #1: Santa wasn’t even invented by Coca Cola. He was around long before under various names and in various forms. Our modern version of Santa was designed by Thomas Nast in the late 1800s, PRIOR to the invention of Coca-Cola.
Fail #2: Dreidles always use the same four Hebrew characters. The characters are an abbreviation for “A great miracle happened there”, referring to the Channuka story. Any other symbol or picture–particularly Christian symbols–are straight out.
Fail #3: I don’t know what kind of super-orthodox Puritan church you attend, but in the rest of America Santa Claus is SYNONYMOUS with Christmas.
Check your facts next time, bababab.
This really shouldn’t be a fail, its a joke gift that was made this way intentionally. you can buy one at http://www.mcphee.com they also have yodeling pickles and bacon flavored gum. Whoever decided this was a fail is a moron.
Dude, Santa is a symbol of Christmas. St. Nicholas? Christmas is a Christian holiday.
Second
)
Third!!☺☺
It’s for Jewish kids who…. uhhh.. I can’t imagine who it’s for.
Maybe who have one Jewish parent and one non-Jewish parent?
Or Jewish kids whose parents have a sense of humo(u)r.
no no, this is done on purpose. its from a novelty toy store based in seattle called Archie McPhee. my brother-in-law actually works for them and makes some of the toys, though not this one. check it out
http://www.mcphee.com
Maybe for Messianic Jews? More likely for goyim who want to get their Jewish friend a gift and, in pathetic, ludicrous ignorance think that THIS dreidle is a good idea.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jews_for_Jesus
Fourth?
Fourth.First
Fourth.First[1]
int main(int argc, char* argv[]){
return 0;
}
SUCCESS
haha nope, still fail!!
system.out.println(“i c wat u did there”);
The economic crisis has apparently affected even Santa, who’s had to take on an additional line of work.
I heard he and the tooth fairy schemed to take over the colored egg market in Easter, but the bunny bit them.
That tooth fairy is such a mercenary little bitch.
What does she do with all those teeth anyway?
She saves them for her Biblical trades. She also traffics in eyeballs.
Oh, good to know. I been wanting to make me an eyeball necklace, but wasn’t sure where to get them.
Well, she’s a little desperate. With the advance in technology, she’s being edged out by Blue2thFairy. It’s not surprising she’d have to take on a second job.
Keep your eyes out for the new “Kris Kringle, LLC” line of Menorahs, Kwanza trees and druidic supplies. They should be arriving soon to a retailer near you.
(comments below this level will not convert to judaism)
I’d like to know what kind of supplies a Druid needs.
Mulch.
A dreidel with pictures of the Arch-Druid.
Getafix needed a golden sickle to cut his herbs with.
* the Gaul
ROFL
Ears are more practical and more tan than shrivel up…
No, she’s not very good with eyes.
Wrong!
She builds a castle with them! =O
He does have thousands of elves to feed. Slave labor doesn’t come cheap, you know.
I thought by definition it did…
Not in MY dictionary.
-looks up-
Oh, wait.
You must have the dicitionary.
and it must be on the ceiling?
Where else would it be?
good point
Reverse Gravity? :O Could I borrow some?
Only for the purpose of cosmetic use, saggy moobs are a nono in my rape hotel
I thought he fed the ones who died, or he accidentally killed while drunk, to the others
Soylent Peppermint is ELVES!
Wait…I thought elves were “the other white meat”.
♪ … Don’t put my love up on no elf. ♪
*recites “Song of My Elf” by Walt Whitman*
Me, my elf and I.
That’s not Santa, it’s his cousin, Moishe Kringle.
Some one told him they wanted a sit & spin!
Was it the vicar?
No, he wanted a sit & spud.
Identity theft claims yet another victim.
You may be a target as well. Please enter your name, social security number, mother’s maiden name and credit card number in the following space to verify your safety:____________________________________________________
And please to place a DNA sample in this handy resealable vial.
seventh!! yaay
scratch that thought
You should just think about sandpaper.
Come on now…maybe his thought had an itchy nose.
Better than more southerly things that could have itched. I hear a doctor can prescribe something for that, though.
They have a full line of ointments at the STD Flea Market.
Where’s the fail? Who says it’s for Hanukkah? Maybe it’s a normal Christmas gift. Americans are so gay! Support PETA. FIRST
Oh, hi Tom! Would you help me on with my baby seal coat… I can’t get the collar adjusted.
Oh sheesh Mookie. The coat won’t fit. I think you been eating too much foie gras and veal.
Here…try this reindeer one, Santa lost this in the bet aswell…
Ow, the antlers poke me!
I knew you’d love it!!
*averts eyes* *leaves Fluff to help with the fitting*
You should really try on this Dalmatian stole, and the polar bear gloves. I really think it will accentuate that coat nicely.
Don’t forget the Alligator skin pumps.
Agreed, and the Spotted Owl hat, too.
*Bursts out in Mr. Burns song*
See my vest, see my vest, made from real gorilla chest
I just killed my cat but it turns out there isn’t enough pelt for the pair of socks I wanted to give my baby sister for Christmas.
Could anybody else use it?
Sure, I can piece it into this catsuit I’m making. Oohhh, calico… Thanx!
*hightails it outta here before someone starts eyeing the dragon-hide*
Well, we can always add on to make it bigger. *grabs club* C’mon Fluffy, let’s go hunting!
*goes clubbing*
Ooh, I love your outfit. *dons Lycra dress with inappropriate cut-outs* Let’s go!
*eyes dress*
Yup, you certainly nipped that in the bud. Have fun storming the castle!
I hear they have a smashing good time when they go out.
I know they’re prone to getting totally hammered, though…
you can’t beat that
Nothing says the holidays like a couple of drunk knock-outs.
Sammy, I’d say something (un)appropriate in response, but I don’t know that you’ve ever disclosed your age and I don’t want to violate any laws… Even cougars have a cutoff.
(in)
(out)
I’m 265 in dog years.
(do the Mookie pokey)
(and you turn the thread around)
Ahhh… this is what it’s all about…
A stunning rendition! *applauds*
OK Sammy, we’re good to go. You start.
Is there an airport nearby or is that just my heart taking off?
I’m a vegetarian and i hate PETA. I don’t know anyone who actually likes them.
Their mother?
Veal chops love PETA.
Mmmmm… veal chops!
*drools*
*covers the Admiral’s eyes*
There’s no fail. It’s a christmas gift, nothing to do with Hanukkah. Americans are gay. support PETA. FIRST
Wow, Tom. Thanks for that astounding display of intelligence, wit and discretion. I really think PETA will be proud to claim you as one of their staunch supporters, you’re the perfect advocate. Brains, brawn AND sensitivity!
What, pray tell, does Hanukkah have to do with PETA? Are you in fact an idiot?
Does it hurt to have your head that far up your ass?
Ans you know what to do with a dreidel?
*Santa curses that drunken bet in Tel Aviv…*
♪ Santa curses coming to town … ♪
♪ He’s making a bet, hedging it twice … ♪
♪ That’s what he gets for rolling the dice … ♪
He sees you when you raise him,
He knows when you’re all bluff…
(I can’t make the little music notes)
♪ He knows when you will cheat at cards,
And believe, me, he is tough! ♪
*fondles bruise on jaw*
And now he’s lost a reindeer
who will meet a fashion fate
The reindeer is now someones dinner date.
more like failblog fail. that’s from accoutrements, archie mcphee’s novelty gift line…… they also make yodeling pickles.
Yes, they also have the crazy cat lady action figure, but let’s not spoil the fun.
Omg really! Does she spin? And can you use her to gamble?
*excited now*
Ooo…PICKLE!!
It vibrates and yodels.
Multi-purpose pickle.
If the pickle vibrates, why does it need to yodel?
If a pickle vibrates in the forest, can anybody hear it yodel?
Perhaps someone else yodels when it vibrates.
whats the fail?
there is none, all who posted here thinking there was a fail are lame!
Yeah, well, I may have to walk with a cane now, but…know what lame people can do??
*thwacks Tom over the head with cool new dragon cane*
*pours vinegar and rock salt on the opened wound*
Wow, Dragon, that’s a cool new cane!!
*pulls the splinter out of Dragons foot*
Aww. Thanks, ErickB. I was feeling a little growly there, and now I know why.
Ah, now i get it: Archie McPhee is a jew!
Back to Myspace with you!
Ok I need someone to explain that to me. I don’t get it. I have no idea what a dreidel is. And that thing doesn’t look like anything I’ve seen before.
Jewish gambling toy…
You got it from here?
I see Phaet’s Google is broken again.
Google is broken? *CRIES*
Ta for the hint, I know it’s Phaet’s game every fail (lol), I…just…couldn’t…resist…
*self disciplines, Secretary exercise style*
I have lots and lots of practice, DrB. Whenever my students say, “What does this word mean?” or “What is a [fill in the blank]?”, I always tell them what my mum told me.
“Go look it up.”
(I always edit out the “you lazy bastards” part, though! *grin* )
But you say it in your head, don’t you…
Hee…
Okay, sometimes.
Ha, you remind me of my high school English teacher who i
affectionately nicknamed McBastard.
I shall give it a whirl.
)
(ps. it was a cinematic rather than vocational ref!)
(pps. I do love LB’s GOOGLE comment below
Google sux
There’s always Wikipedia… You might even find the answers you WANT. And if not, you can always add them.
Just did. Got 7,630,000 results! Who’d have thought?
over here everyone is catholic and they got the same spinning tools
But they don’t call them Dreidel, you retarded tree hugging, son of a Syphilitic Drab and a Lascar sailor!
BOTW.
*looks at Uncle Fester in awe*
Sorry, I’m used to Pundit Kitchen…
No, no, we like this! And I usually tell people to go TO Pundit Kitchen!
So! It’s you sending the cretins over… May the burrowing lice of a thousand camels infest your pubis and you never have a nail to scratch… :¬>
In retrospect, I’d have preferred to get the commas places correctly…
*sensitive, thus making mental note to self: will try to stay on Uncle Fester’s good side*
Due to the current economic crisis Santa has staged a hostile takeover of Hanukkah and Hanukkah Harry has been laid off.
Rastafari Santa has dreidel lox
magician santa says candelabra-cadabra
Kabbalah Santa animates golem-cadaver
Buddha Santa ponders existential Karbalah.
hmm, what exactly would Buddha Santa look like?
He wouldn’t have as much hair.
But his belly is still like a bowl full of jelly.
*rubs Buddha Santa’s belly for good presents*
He would probably look like Pu Tai (布袋, also transliterated, “Budai,” or, from Japanese, “Hotei”). Pu Tai is the famous “Laughing Buddha,” the fat jolly figure you often see in East Asianlocales. He is not the Buddha, Shakyamuni. Rather, he was apparently a Chinese Zen monk whom everyoneloved and later got associated with folklore motifs of the God of Good Fortune and Maitreya, the Buddha of the Future.
.
Like Santa, though, Pu Tai is often depicted carrying a sack of precious things — food, candy for children, or, in reverse motif, a collection of the woes of the world. His belly, too, is considered by some a repository of good things, and that’s why folks often rub it to glean positive vibes and good luck.
.
I’ve yet to see his image on a dreidel.
Cool typo, TMI … “everyoneloved” …
.
♪ One love! one heart!
Lets get together and feel all right. ♪
.
happy rasta budda santa dreidel holidays everyoneloved
I like it. But you forgot the FSM, fuzz…what about the pastafarians?
There’s a new group now, who revere rappers.. I hear they’re called Bustafarians.
.
Fuzz, it’s nice to have you back. I missed the regular TMI updates and relevant song references.
Buddha Santa does not bring presents, he brings good kharma.
Which Santa brings cheap women and expensive booze? That’s the one I want to write a letter to.
Redneck Santa brings cheap women and beer.
Close enough, where in Arkansas should I address my letter of request?
Santa Win – he’s takin over everywhere!
HOORAY CAPITALISM!! Will SANTA INC. be issuing Stock?
Now what I’d like to know is how the package is in midair -.-
well have you seen those levitating tops? It’s nothing like that.
someone is holding it
No, no, no…it’s photoshopped! Look at the pixels and the shadows! They’re all wrong!
..FAKE. Somebody.. Painted it and then repacked it. You can clearly
see where they cut the packaging out..
Sorry for my fail in knowledge, but what’s a “dreidel” ?
Oh, here let me help you. A “dreidel” is a word you type into GOOGLE. Go forth and be enlightened, my child.
but GOOGLE is BROKEN! Dragonwriter said.
No, I said Phaet’s Google is broken. Yours is just fine, I’m sure.
Ok now I know what a dreidel is. I knew it with another name and dind’t know it was a symbol of judaism.
Ever heard the phrase, “Think before you speak”?? Well, next time kindly apply that same concept to your keyboard. Google before you type.
Hey, I like that LB! “Google BF U Type” should be the failblog catchphrase.
Goes right up there with “Bag it before you Hag it”
That’s better than “Glove it before you Love it”
As opposed to Hit it & Quit it?
Similar to hump it and dump it.
Let’s not leave out Hit it and Quit it.
Oops, ignore that.
Explore it then ignore it?
No, adore it then some-more it
Ahh, now you’re just fishing for brownie points.
Squeeze it, then cheese it!
Pump it then dump it.
Spank it then bank it.
Or, as Jeffrey Dahmer said, “Shake it then bake it”
*loses appetite*
But don’t Pootle before you’re ripe.
Or doodle in your tripe.
*SQUEEEEEEEEEEEZE!!!*
*steps off the Tower of Isengard just in time to be caught by a giant eagle and carried off to safety*
Crap.
*closes html tag*
No no no! This was made my accutrements. They make novelty joke- gag things. this isn’t a fail at all.
Infinitive!
To beyond or not to beyond — what is the question?
To answer that I’ll need to know more
To correctly answer that, I’ll need a box of paper clips and a…a…
.
Oh dear.
.
I split the infinitive.
*mourns*
There there.
*SQUEEZE*
Cheese it!
*runs off*
You’ve won a lifetime supply of Squeezy Cheez, the artificial cheese product that’s almost food, but not quite! If it’s almost food but not quite, it’s Squeezy Cheez!
You like cheese
You like peas
You love cheesy peas
Well, you’ll go mad for these
New Squeezy Cheezy Peaz
*squeezes his name in cheese on the graffitti wall before it opens and then flees the squeezy cheese*
∞th!
First!!!
^^^FirstFAIL
Here’s a little dreidel
That’s small and made of clay
But i’m not gonna play with it
‘Cos dreidel’s f*ckin’ gay.
R… O… F… L…!!!!
*hugs Ryannon prolificly*
*”accidentally” gropes and fondles LB during the prolific hug, blaming it on the size differential*
Oh, thank you Ryannon… I didn’t see you behind me on that Japan Rail car… but I liked it!
Um, that product is from Accoutrements, who specialize in tongue-and-cheek novelty toys. This is most definitely not a fail, I assure you.
You are probably the same guy that tells your kids there is no such thing as Santa when they are 4, won’t let them run with scissors or swim right after eating. MUST you suck all the joy out of life? Really?
*closes all external joy valves*
Got it covered Ry, Strawboy’s not getting any of it.
Uh oh…does that mean that if we get too happy, we’re gonna blow?
I think the blowing comes first..?
It’s okay, I think we’re fitted with a oneway pressure release valve…
But, here, take this PPE just in case…
*straps on his funky safety goggles*
Nah. Straw tells the kids that Santa is actually DEAD because he was running to the pool carrying a pair of scissors after eating a hoagie…..and had a heart attack.
Redundancy fail
Seems like a redundancy win to me. *Inspects, pokes, and prods redundant comments*
Yep. Definite win for redundancy.
yeah, I realized it was more of an originality fail and a win for redundancy after I typed it, but I was hoping no one would notice. You caught me though
Well, I do live in Arkansas…and you know how sharp we are here…
You didn’t just give birth to your 18th kid did you?
PSSHHHH!!!! What kind of underachiever do you think I am???
I don’t think that woman would EVER come here! She’s waaaaayyyyy to conservative for FailBlog.
*heaves a sigh of relief*
Conservative people don’t have too much fun., it’s true.
Except if she has eighteen kids she must have had
at least just a little..
hm, have you heard what the English queen said way back when: Ladies, just close your eyes and think of England …
So there is a possibility she had no fun what so ever, but just focused on building strength in numbers.
I’m willing to bet that she thinks of it more as a chore, or a duty. Her kids are so close in age, one wonders if she ever got a chance to heal from the delivery of one before starting on the next!
That’s gotta be one soggy hole.
Ewwwwww!
Where’s the other one…?
As far as I’m concerned, if pagans want to reach out to Jews, and Jews are happy to embrace pagan symbols, well, good for both of them.
Christianity? It’s Santa! What’s that got to do with Christianity?
I think the FAIL here is missing the joke… the funny thing is that there is a Santa on a dreidle, not that some dope screwed up the idea… come on now!
*hands CountXero some flies, salt and slugs* Here, just pull the wings off the flies now and get it over with. And then pour salt on the slugs for your enjoyment as well.
Ry, don’t forget to hand killjoy this jar of ants and a magnifying glass.
There’s a snail over here that needs stamping on.
oh, and there are some VERY cute kittens in this box, with big sad blue eyes. And here is a barrel filled with water.
Surely… that can’t be a pigeon, can it?
I’m sure I had some baking soda in my bag…
oh come now… all of the others are legit, you guys missed one, it happens to everybody… I mean, I know the company that made this does nothing but novelty gifts, but seriously now…
I didn’t notice anyone posting this yet (SHAME ON YOU ALL!), so here we go …
Kyle: Dreidel, Dreidel, Dreidel, I made you out of clay
Dreidel, Dreidel, Dreidel, with Dreidel I shall play.
Stan: I’ll try to make it spin
It fell, i’ll try again.
Cartman: Jews, play stupid games..
Jews, that’s why they’re lame.
Sheila: Now when you learn, to make the dreidel spin..
You’ll know, our people always win!
Gerald: Courtney Cox, I love you..
You’re so hot, on that show..
yah,jews are laaaaaaaaaaaaaaa awsome! :$
i am not racist, or related to hitler. jews are awsome and so is apple pie
ummm i know lots of jews who reference a Santa figure. Santa is secular, not Christian.
What comes next? A Jesus Manorah?
you spelled menorrhea wrong
diarrhea?
Aw, he was just going with the flow.
I thought he was padding-out the thread.
You spin me right round baby right round…
Don’t wanna hurt you…
Chrismakkuah Win!
Understanding blatant Irony Fail
Its a gag gift.
Understanding Concept of Fun FAIL
This is for the half Jewish, half Christian kids. Duh.
dude, this was made by a company that makes fun of stuff. I’m pretty sure they knew what they were making
I like their squirrel underpants….. i hate seeing naked squirrels on my lawn too!
… I dont get it. Is this funny for the same reason that my kosher Honey Ham company failed? ^_^
HAHAHAHHAAHA FAIL.
This is meant to be a joke. It’s a gag gift on the Archie McPhee site.
Not a fail if it’s intentional.
if this is a joke than im from Etheopia.
Do they all spell like that in Etheopia?
This is made as a joke and a novelty item by that company. Seriously. My local comic book shop has a ton.
Ops..
is it a sextoy? buba does not understand the picture
O!
So… Happy Chanukkah!
Santa Clause in modern terms is about as Christian as it is Jewish. So where’s the problem?
What the heck is that thing anyways?
300th
So oxymoronic
Last!
im so horny does anybody want to do me?
please???????
My Jewish grandmother insisted that we celebrate Christmas. We had stockings and everything. After she died, we started doing the Chinese food and a movie thing.
thats a slap to the face. not to me though.
HOW IS THAT FAIL?
this is not really a fail — the Dreidel is made by a company called Accoutrements (you can see their logo in the upper right hand corner on the package). They make joke toys that are ironic on purpose.
graciously borrowed at
http://jumpinginpools.blogspot.com/2008/12/santa-dreidel.html
Those are a joke, we have them at work.
I got one for my friend who celebrates Christmas, but loves Jews. It’s like it was made just for her!
You all do know Accoutrements -the manufacturer of the Santa Dreidel shown here – is an importer of gag gifts, right?
Someone’s prolly already pointed this out, but Accoutrements, the company that makes this Santa Dreidel, specialize in gag and ironic gifts. So, I think this is a purposeful fail. which means its not really a fail at all. just fyi.
TWO HUNDRED FIRST!!!!!!!!!!!!
201st yay
So…that Dreidel is supposed to have Santa on it. It’s incompatible with the Jewish religion, and that’s the joke. It’s from Archie McPhee, people!
last
thats no fail dumbass
Did anyone notice that this driedel was made by accoutrements…which is a joke/ novelty company? It is meant to be ironic! Thus, it shouldn’t really count as a fail.
OMG!!! I’M FIRST!!!
Thats not a FAIL, thats cool!!!
I’ve seen one with Osama’s face on it =D