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Cheezburger Network Blog
Like your Mum?
Or ex-wife…
Or soccer ball…
Or face…
Or nuts…
Or dog…
I’d rather cook my dog than kick it.
:O
like your cat?
or dog?
Or your presidential campaign.
or obama
Or the sophomore I stuffed into a trash can today!
either adam, or eve.
or me with your girlfriend
(i admit that was a bit far but heck i like it xD)
Like your nuts
Or young child that you’ve locked in your basement, and who you’ve had 6 kids from.
Biology fail. Uh, its impossible for a young child to give birth to 6 kids. Or even to
father 6 kids ’cause they’d have to be an older child.
Knowledge of the fact that time, indeed, does pass. The kid’ll grow up.
Josef Fritzl. Look ‘im up.
Argument fail?
your nuts scream?
You get her, Crow. *holds the tramp down*
Mookie! My savior!
*hugs*
*Puts the boots to the tramp*
*snicker*
I, umm, don’t suppose you pair do southern hemisphere jobs?
*goes back to signing paperwork to give Ex a house*
I’m sorry, we’d need a special work permit to leave our jurisdiction. *suggests putting termite eggs in attic of said house*
My Merlot Level is 7.5 atm, so that’s a little appealing
Thankyou, really
*jots down learned advice on ‘to do’ list*
Is that dungeons and dragons terminology?
Yeah, but when your Merlot gets high enough rather than levelling up you fall over.
What are you talking about. (hic) After a bottle of Merlot, my agility score improves to 18, (hic) not to mention my charisma rockets to 25. (hic) And every roll is a natural 20!
*whomp* *snore*
*shoots crow*
No.
We do not shoot Failblog friends. Only those who say the dreaded “f” word and trolls.
Speaking of which…*whips taser out of holster*
what F word? F**st?
fail.
WTF?? I’ve been shot? Who shoots a crow…honestly?
I’d rather shoot a mockingbird.
Or a dachshund.
Good call.
Not in that way.
2nd comment
and that was really pretty horible Lol
Counting fail.
That’s more than half!
no! i’m me! your giving me a bad name!
it was a split second after mike -_-’
I want one!
oh yeah? Turn around!
Toys should not “scream”…
*kick*
AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
maybe they should. that way kids wouldn’t break em so much… or break them more. whatever turns you on.
*kick kick kick*
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
*makes note to get Erick one for Christmas* Hi pumpkin!
Oh, no need, that’s what I have you for
*dutifully snaps on leather dog collar and leash* *hands end to Erick* OK, but just because it’s Christmas…
*Grabs camera*
*Flomps on couch*
*Passes the popcorn*
*amasses the cop porn*
*molasses the cop porn*
*harasses the cop porn*
*takes the leash and expertly handles end*
Wow, I’m impressed. You’ve done this before, haven’t you?
*eats the cop porn*
*feeds the dog mushrooms*
fap fap fap
“whaa? I’m enjoying the show!”
You hear a lot of screaming if you kick some toys. Especially in the dark, in your bare feet.
Do they scream harder if you use your bear feet?
No, but if you use your beer feet they do.
If a toy screams in the forest…
…if a one-handed toy claps…
…and there’s no-onw to kick it…
*takes away Mikey’s w and replaces it with an e*
When you get a little older, Mikey, you can have this back.
W’s aren’t toys, you know.
That’s not fair! Ho can I express disappointment ith no ‘ ‘. It’ll just be
‘a ‘
*sobs*
Oh so close… we were looking for “space”, yes, “space”.
I’ll take “Toys That Scream” for $400, Alex.
And then, it suddenly stops screaming
Ah, you stopped kicking…
Xmas campaign win!
…the more it screams, the sooner your daddy stops
Ryannon, is that you?
Yes, Lou is used up and defenseless and I am using his computer now.
Now I will search into his folders for some pr0n…
If you find his credit cards, give us the numbers. We can help you check if they’re stolen.
Sorry, no credit cards. His wallet only contains 100 Dinars, monopoly money and a business card that says “Lou: Lawyer, Doctor, Gigolo and Architect, will work for mim wage or hier”
Oh well… At least make sure to take some nekkid pictures and send them to us,
Oh, I have some naked pictures of Lou! He sent them to me in exchange for… well, never mind. *passes pictures out to the girls*
Oh cool! Lemme see! Is this his… uhhhh… *snortgiggle*
I don’t think I’d be able to look Lou in the eye again…
Oooooh lemme see lemme see!
Wow, Lou, is that a potato in your bum or are you just happy to see us?
I am always happy to see failblog girls
*infects porn with virus*
Mine’s busted. It won’t scream. I just keeps saying, “Thank you sir. may I have another.” Rip off.
Sir??
I think we got our toys exchanged by mistake. Mine says “Harder, harder, oh please my Naughty Broccoli Mistress make me feel your heels”.
“Make me feel your heels”??!?!?! Hmmm… Lou… somehow i don’t think you just made that up….
Do not underestimate what you can learn from Ry lessons
They say experience is the best teacher.
And pain is the best school marm.
School marm?
OOOOoohh I never played that role before…
*Pulls hair back and puts on glasses*
Bad boys have to stay after school..
Animal House WIN!
You really can’t lose with Animal House, can you?
Very true.
Typo fail
The more you lick it the more it creams…
The more you flick it the more it streams
The more it streams the more you click it…
*mops up this thread*
*rescribbles the thread*
(comments won’t nest below this level)
Wanna bet?
hahaha Good one.
Be the FIRST to support PETA! Please, all, together we can make a change!
*kicks Tom*
I feel so bad making Pootle do these things. It’s just wrong.
*cries into woolly hat*
*supports the spay and neuter program … kicks Tom’s jimmies*
Dons mink coat, throws veal chop at Tom.
blows up humane society with a couple sticks of dyn-o-mite! to stop them from euthanizing helpless animals and makes tom watch.
throws iliketurtles at tom
*throws random cow throwing jerk at Tom*
I support PETA by supporting the euthanization of cows and having them turned into steaks, roasts and hamburger meat so there isn’t an over population and no diseases will set in, also the slaughtering of pigs too, cause they taste good for breakfast with eggs, on sandwiches and really good for Christmas dinner with pineapple.
Mumm steak, my hero
Yeah, steak is my best friend. I like when it comes to visit, hate to see it leave and miss it when it’s gone.
*tases tom*
throws the whole cow at tom
Wait! Not so fast! *takes other avatar from RCTJ* That’s a protected species on this blog.
*eats veal chop*
Look, preach about enoying hippie groups all you want, but did you have to say ‘first’?
*kicks*
I guess this is another campaign fail… especially if you’re still looking for a first to support your cause still… Oh well, happy hunting.
Speaking of hunting… *click* Tom better start running…
*dances*
Can I kick it? (Yes you can)
Can I kick it? (Yes you can)
Can I kick it? (Yes you can)
Can I kick it? (Yes you can)
Can I kick it? (Yes you can)
Can I kick it? (Yes you can)
Can I kick it? (Yes you can)
*kicks*
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
Give me a K!
Give me an I!
Give me a C!
Give me a K!
*screams*
2..4..6..8…
Who we gonna flagellate?!
MOOKIE! MOOKIE! MOOKIE!
*cartwheels*
1, 2, 3, who’s going on a kicking spree?
Fail team!
Fail Team!
Kick that toy, Make it scream!
The more it yells,
The more it sells!
Live the toy-kicking dream!
Wooo-oooo! YEAH! Wooo!
i would like one, a kick not the toy, it freaks me out. maybe a few kicks, i’ll scream good i promise
You’ll have to work with me on this one.
*leaps up and knocks top hat off*
*sticks nuke to feet and kicks*
*boom**screeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeech*
Just kick it, kick it, kick it, kick it
No one wants to be defeated
Showin how funky strong is your fighter
It doesnt matter whos wrong or right
Just kick it
I am very disappointed. I found the commercial for this toy (clicky my name), and the thing doesn’t ACTUALLY scream. Rip off.
Booooooooo!
We should kick the advertisers till they scream.
And then some more till they stop again.
Make sure you don’t get your daddy to do it though. The screaming will make him stop eventually.
No, there’s no screaming until the mullet-headed kid wipes out at 40 mph on asphalt.
Then it becomes an anti-mullet WIN. Business in the front, skin grafts in the back.
The best gift to give a domestic violence abuser. Show him how to fix problems like cold or burnt dinner. Then again will men stand up about domestic violence?
i’ve never left a comment here before
*checks lost and found* Here’s you comment. *hands it back*
*your*
Pssst… Mookie… I think Seani MEANT to leave the comment here. That way she/he can come by tomorrow morning and be like “oh, did I happen to leave a comment here?”
It’s a flirting strategy. Next line will be “What’s a blog like you doing in a place like this?” or “Hey babe, I love your CSS structure”.
It’s like going on a date without asking failblog out.
“oh hey, since I’m here already to pick up my comment, wanna grab some breakfast?”
- This conversation never happened.
- What conversation?
- Excellent.
Welcome to Failblog.
Feel free to make comments.
There’s a whole world out there to explore.
Make it yours.
Together, we can fail.
Mikey, did you go to a marketing class last night or something? You’re the slogan KING today.
Thankyou!
*hugs*
*beams*
I’m just even more bored than usual at work today.
Me either.
i think he meant to say your welcome
mokkie sucks
She is very proud of her sucking abilities, and rightfully so.
Who is this mokkie you speak of?
So does your sense of humo(u)r.
Wait, who does the welcome belong to?
i rememder a conservation
Did it make sense?
four, yes i think it was four
did you carry the one?
Carry it where? Those things are heavy you know. One time
there was even this crane..
Mikey, comment WIN, 4 Stars.
Whoa! How did you turn that b backwards?
FAIL
its d
*crickets*
You’re not very good at picking up fail references are you?
FAIL FAIL! YAY!
This slogan reminds me of your mom
So you just kept screaming more and more as she kicked you huh?
Ba-ZING!
if you see anyone riding one of those scooters please kick him/her/herm until they stop
understood
THERE’S ONE!
LOL, I saw a kid riding down the road the other day on one of those, looks like he was having a real blast!
jess
http://www.anonymity.cz.tc
I saw a shameless and persistent spammer riding down the road the other day on one of those. Sadly he was not struck by a truck.
Maybe if he keeps it up he will be… *dons trucker hat*
How the hell is this not a win of epic proportions? The MORE I kick something, the MORE I WANT it to scream!
*Scream until Daddy stops*
Defense Lawyer: “Timmy, why did you crush your little sister’s skull?”
Timmy: “The scooter told me to do it.”
Just like chiropractors…
I think there’s an infant in the box!
And the box is delivered by a stork.
I think so…
liaf..ilaf…..FAIL..
http://www.dorion55.com
I work at Toys R Us … I just saw this one today. Hilarious. What were they thinking?
It rubs the lotion on it’s skin or it gets the hose again?
Do you watch Monk? You know the captain? OMG!!!
it puts the lotion in the basket
hahaha I saw this in Target and took a picture of it too….
Dude!!! I saw this in the store today
It’s true, I frequently test it with my children.
how about if i trample it?
it looks cool…:D
I’ll kick yer dog
How is something like this, that is obvioulsy deliberate a fail. bad marketing yes, fail no.
same thing goes for a lot of things that are kicked.