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Cheezburger Network Blog
Dog is tasty?
50 ways to wok your dog.
Dog is the new tofu!
In Soviet Russia you cook dog
Shouldn’t it be “In Soviet Russia dog cooks you”?
that would make too much sense, plus its opposite day
Wouldn’t that make it suitable? Opposite day would be a perfect day for there to be sense on the internet.
*gets a headache*
In Prussian Serviette, you wrap dog.
In doggie bag, tofu wraps for you.
Thankyou!
*munches happily*
care to share?
seat to eat?
*indicates couch and offers tofu wrap*
OOOOH an edible couch….MADE OF DOG!
*tofu raps*
Bravo! I had hoped you’d eat the couch and sit on the wrap.
yes, thank you.
The couch was quite tasty, and the wrap is….crinkly
Sofa so good.
As longue as he doesn’t chaise you for another couch…
*makes dog hot and then eats it*
*come back here with that*
Mikey, if this is opposite day, then I chaise you should go back to being a moomin!
I have settee and coffee on the counter for anyone who would like some.
That would be divan, thank you.
It’s a little late to be a
C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER
which is good, because I hate when people say that.
In China, you cook dogs
I’d call it a Chinese food win!
In Soviet Russia, DOG COOKS YOU!
Damn I was just about to post that too.
I ges there gunna have hot-dogs for dinner(LOL)
So this book is from soviet Russia?
Looks like a communist dog to me.
Yes, a capitalist dog would have a glass of wine.
Like me
*slurp*
Erm…share?
*waits hopefully*
*hands half eaten dog-ona-stick(made in china)*
*wags tail*
*streaks*
*passes superlative south aussie shiraz*
.
We’ll…umm…steer away from the vodka refs ok?
Wolf Blass?
(my girlfriend knows him!)
Yum (and yum). Last night’s was from McLaren Vale (rather than also tasty Barossa).
Cry havoc and let slip the dogs of war…
I preffer the hamsters of peace,
or
is that piece of hamster, I can never remeber
Dog or hamster which is the other-other white meat. I guess it doesn’t matter
nom nom nom om nom
the hamstring of peace
The fearless napkin-toting Jack Russell leaps into the fray…
in CAMBODIA…. you cook Dog. thats whats up.
in soviet Russia dog cooks you!
Just in case some dumb asses dont know, dogs are eaten in Korea!
I heard they taste like chiken
i woud lik a weiner dog plz
cook those dogs!
At least it’s quicker than kicking it til it screams…
More tender your way
Well no, that was the first step…. THEN you cook it.
Wow… first. (!!!!1!)
Pretty sure the dog is waiting for a canine meal.. the self-eating monster.
Quick! Get the tazers!
Whats the point in saying first?
LAST
GHERKIN
Gürkchen?
Turducken!
KILL!!!!!!
DILL!
*Brings in the tazer-on-a-stick*
Turn him into not-real chicken!
or “filler meat” as they call it in the industry…
That explains why the “beef” and “chicken” at certain unnamed fast-food places don’t taste like real beef and chicken…at least the dog tastes halfway decent and we aren’t using brocolli or gold fish as fillers
At least you get dog, around here we only get soy as “filler meat”. Tasteless jam, tasteless hot dog, tasteless hamburger… utter crap
EEWWWW! They use BROCOLLI as filler?
Try to eat the no-meat meat without eating it.
I can provide a no-meat to eat, but please don’t bite you may only swallow
try to touch the no touch censor without touching it please.
Mooking your dog
Not in my estimation
Grrr blogmonster.
Honestly, if he keeps it up I’ll start to enjoy these misaligned comments.
*tosses grappling hook up to Entertime’s mookie dog comment*
*catches DrB, helps him up*
It happens a lot lately. I think it’s time we replaced the floorboards.
Yes, they’ve been creeking abit lately (oops I’m still bouncing off Mikey’s aqueous thread below)…
its rite terrible…i’m sorry to have caused such a mess
Real failure is not in the Price Sticker Placement, but…
1- Putting a napkin on a dog and sitting it on a table.
2- Suggesting that it would be normal to make an effort cooking for an animal that likes to lick its own ass and genitals, and eat directly from the floor and the trash can whatever food it can find.
I think men everywhere would be happy to be able to lick their own junk.
I’m pretty much cool with all of point 2.
Find a man who never suffered of torticollis or lumbago, and you will have found a man with a long penis or no ambition at all.
or has a girl friend
Having a girlfriend does not kill curiosity. At least in cats.
Roger that on the curiosity, Lou. The question is, how far do you go toward satisfying it??? *ponders*
Until daddy stops, I believe.
You mean Papi, right?
Not far enough, it seems.
Comment WIN!
Never the less, they have taste.
cyanide also has taste, just cause it has taste does not make it right
Technically, cyanide doesn’t have a taste. It does, however have an odor.
Almond joy. Because it gives you that distinct rictus grin.
I will never grow weary of your gallows humor.
*borrows hat from TMI*
Did you guys know that only a certain percentage of people can smell that bitter almond scent in cyanide? Due to a weird genetic thingiemabob (technical term), quite a few people can’t smell it at all.
*gives hat back*
Oh, I love it when you talk nerdy to me. I’ve got goosebumps.
Next time I’ll tell you about how because of another genetic thingiemabob, cilantro tastes like soap to some people.
*grin*
I be one of those cilantro soapers.
I thought it did at first, now I’ve grown to love the taste.
…of soap??
*ducks*
*quacks up*
I don’t perceive it as soapy anymore. This one may not be genetic. I couldn’t find any basis for it when I looked briefly.
Oh dear…well, that’s what I get for believing what people tell me.
I’ll have to go look this one up.
I’ve never had cilantro. Is it a spice?
It’s an herb. If you’ve ever eaten at a Mexican restaurant, I’ll bet you’ve eaten cilantro. It’s quite good in salsa.
It’s an herb. It’s seed is also known as coriander. It’s also known as “chinese parsley” in some cookbooks.
Hee…!
*sigh*
We do think alike sometimes, no?
*borrows TMI hat*
The same goes to the smell of your pee after you eat asparagus. Some people can smell it, some cannot.
*removes TMI hat and goes to eat asparagus*
*does NOT care for the smell of asparagus, eaten or peed!*
O hell, you know what I meant!
Bukkit please!!
*snork*
I don’t know which way I go on this one. I LOVE asparagus, but I don’t spend a lot of time smelling my own pee. :p
I’ve had asparagus maybe three times. Each time, before, while being prepared it smelled awful!! Each time, later, when I finally had to go to the
restroom, it stunk! I didn’t TRY to smell it! It was unavoidable!
For the record, I like olives. So, nyah!
I have the same problem Avis. I also dislike chocolate and dislike peanut butter but I love reese’s peanut butter cups.
HAH! I’m the opposite. I like chocolate, and LOVE peanut butter, but can’t stand those peanut butter cups.
Yay, I’m not the only one! Cilantro tastes like dish soap! And
I am part Mexican (genetically speaking) so go figure that one out.
Now that is interesting. My ex-wife hated the beans that we would get at a local taqueria because “they taste like soap”. Whereas I loved them because They put enough cilantro to taste it. And I use to think she was just wacko, well I still do regardless of the cilantro issue.
I lived with my aunt once, who would get up every single morning and cook breakfast for her dog and my cat. Now ask me how many times she cooked for ME. I’ll tell you: Not one single, solitary time.
How rude of her!
If I were you, I would had tried coming one morning to her kitchen on my fours and disguised as a furry dog/cat. If that did not ensure me a tasty breakfast, then I would had fought with the pets over theirs.
Sadly, if I were to fight with my cat over food, I think the cat would win. And he’s declawed.
And was this woman married? boyfriend? kids (beside’s yourself?)? probably not.
Divorced, single, all kids are grown.
Close!
Basically a bitter bachelorette?
Or a batter bitchlorette
Classic crazy cat lady. I want to be one when I grow up.
Awww Katy…
*passes the shiraz*
Why, DrB, are you trying to get me inebriated?
I accept.
Well, you showed a penchant for delicious red in the threat above…
let’s.
DrB if your being the bartender I would like 2 fingers of Crown on the rocks please.
You would like two fingers…
Gah! Too…many…pervie…commments…brain…crash…!
Doc, Dragon needs two hours of Donna Reed STAT!
Important note: These recipes only are good for dogs. Half dog half cat beings cannot be cooked or eaten. They are very poisonous, I hear (but licking them is safe)
*lick*
Sounds like you need another strategically-placed tattoo…
Mookie, do you ever sleep?
Sadly, no.
Suggestions welcomed!
Well, it looks to me like there’s plenty of room left here for more text.
The weirdest tattoo I ever came across was of a washing machine.
Was the wearer a Maytag repairman?
Tastes like horse! Nom nom!
Taste like Nom! horse horse!
Nom horse likes! Taste taste!
Taste horse nom, like like
Like horse tastes! Mon Mon!
FIRST TO BE FOURTH
*facepalm*
*THIRDPALM*
Thirst to be found!
*Drinks Shiraz*
*firths the forth*
ur not supposed to encourage them
*shakeshead*
*walks away hanging head in shame and mumbling*
Not every day you get to estuary something.
grumblegrumblegrumble
It’s exstreamly rough…nvm Mikey…
*armshoulder*
I tried to estuary something yesterday. The police were called.
I fear we are in for a slough of bad puns again.
*fords the fjords*
*decks the becks*
* ***s the ducks*
I’ll send you the bill.
Hey, you’re nothing but a quack!
I’m just winging it babe!
He’ll send you the bill.
use the force
Abuse the horse.
refuse the courts
Bemuse the thoughts
Huh?!
Remove the warts
make a tort?
Build a fort.
Way too short.
S’what I thought.
Want to snort
when in court? *gasp!*
je suis mort!
At least they’re honest
How to cook humans
To Serve Man’s Best Friend
comment win!
He does that a lot.
*tosses the Admiral a paper clip*
I printed something at work this afternoon and had trouble keeping it together.
*accepts graciously*
How to cook humans
How to Cook For Humans
How to Cook Forty Humans
How to Cook for Forty Humans
“[...] and safe recipes”
What? The dog doesn’t get hurt or die?
Step 1: kick until it stops screaming….
I thought that was supposed to be until it starts screaming?
Looks delicious
What I like best about this fail is all the humane society ads
More pets for the pot! -stares-
It says: “Cooking Your Dog Tasty, Healthy, and Safe Recipes.” I have no idea what recipes taste like though.
i’ll have the cat with ballsack flavouring please
go easy on the flap
smells like dog tastes like chicken
as long as its giving you the companionship you so obviously need
ps. can i have a go?
Let PETA help you! Support PETA, and let your pet be the FIRST to benefit from it!
I like PETA, they come into your house crawl up your leg and bite the inside of your ass
The press crimes of “animal cruelty” against you, then they realize you have no money so they leave and try to find a rich person who does use animal cruelty so they can get rich
and buy furs of their own? they’re just bummed ’cause they can’t afford to have a lynx stapled to their buttock implants
Who are you supposed to be anyway? Slash in blackface?
Ooh that kinda sounds kinky..
I’m not sure the lovely loons at PETA are really fond of pet ownership
That was on purpose. What are the odds?
1, 3, 5, 7, 9,11, 13, 15, 17,…
1,357,911,131,517 to one?
evidently a obviously pure random chance sticker placement.
no highly paid smart ass college student working for minimum wage in a bookstore would ever purposely put the sticker there!
Never tell me the odds!
We are now cruising at a level of two to the power of twenty-five thousand to one against and falling, and we will be restoring normality just as soon as we are sure of what is normal anyway.
Oo! You eliminated the impossible and found the improbable!
Employee win!
Is this available in korean?
Yes, it was originally published in Korean.
Well thats brilliant. The recipes would have been tried and tested, rated, and put to good use before its release into the western world.
I will sleep well tonight.
ITS A COOKBOOK! ITS A COOKBOOK!
OMG! REALLY!?
Thank you. I was going to make the same joke if no one had.
Acutally, I prefer my dogs boiled! LOL
hess
http://www.anonymity.cz.tc
Actually, I prefer my acute-less spammers roasted
James might, loufail most certainly would not.
*POUFS the pootle!*
No…not quite.
*perpetuates the…* No.
*perpendiculars…* Nuh-uh.
*post-modernisms the…* Great heavens, no.
Don’t worry…I’ll figure it out one of these days!
I personally prefer warmed up kitty kat when it comes to eating.
Maybe its recipes for stuff you can cook to rub on your genitals for the dog to lick, fussy dogs but worth it.
Possibly. Let us know how it works out for you.
And that’s why they are called Man’s best side-dish
These Korean Meatballs really are the Dogs Bollocks!
So you like to suck bollocks?
wierd taste you got there
its quite nice, but I developed a nasty case of woofing cough after which only went away after the dog died…wierd.
Dog au vin is the best! It is a dog of your choice, drowned in a vat of wine, and then boiled until tender — yum yum
Rat-au-vin?
Kentucky Fried Dog is the best! As long as the dog is humanely killed, those nutters at PETA should be happy. You can make a nice pair of shoes out of the dogs skin, and then give them to Africans to keep their feet warm, which is okay.
Way to blow your cover.
i’d blow a warm-footed african just to get this dog food taste out of my mouth
THAT’S VERY SICK, AND VERY RACIST!!!!
PETA ARE NOT “NUTTERS”, THEY DO INCREDIBLY GOOD WORK. I AM GOING TO REPORT YOU FOR YOUR HATEFUL AND RACIST DIATRIBE. WHO IS LAUGHING NOW????
…Me
… I chuckled at first because it was funny, but now I’m laughing to be spiteful.
I BET YOU ARE. YOU THINK IT IS FUNNY TO EATS HARMLESS DOGS, WHICH ARE HUMANS BEST FRIEND, AND YOU THINK THAT WEARING FUR IS COOL AND SEXY. HOW WOULD LIKE IT IF YOU WERE DEEP FRIED AND EATEN, AND YOUR SKIN WAS USED TO MAKE A COAT???
IT IS SPITEFUL, NASTY, AND INHUMANE PEOPLE LIKE YOU THAT SHOULD BE EATEN!
Go see your therapist. Tell them they need to up your dosage.
The dumb-ass can’t even figure out how to post with a different
avatar so that its nym-shifting won’t be divulged.
Racist Diatribe?
Oh, My! I am amused.
Many South Africans are of Caucasian decent.
Many North Africans are of Middle Eastern decent.
Many “Africans” are from all over the Earth of varied and mixed decent.
So, I’d have to accuse YOU of the racist attitude by arbitrarily deciding that Mikey’s comment was aimed at persons of “Black” African decent.
And that is totally silly because we all know they live in the hottest place on Earth and don’t own or wear shoes.
Wow, a care-troll on failblog. This is a rare sighting, folks! Most care-trolls are over at ICHC or IHHD.
Be sure to point and laugh as you go by.
Heh…I wonder if vet-tech, aerobics instructor and/or “Legal Professional” are among this care-troll’s resume entries
Nah, but I bet hall monitor is!
Are we allowed to feed it? I do hope that it sticks around for some more
abuse, they are so much fun when they chase their tails.
Agreed. I vote we feed it the dog.
eh eh. But wouldn’t that be animal cruelty? To the dog?
Ok, then let’s feed the care-troll TO the dog!
Wait, that might be cruel to the dog too.
And…. Wheee! *goes for a ride*
here comes the double post
I’m holding on…
The anticipation is killing me.
I guess the Ferris wheel operator is on break.
Me too!
Wait for it… it’ll happen eventually. Unless the YouTube fail screwed EVERYTHING up!
Wheeeeeeeeeee!!!!1
Whew! We must do this again sometime.
.
(For some reason I feel like having a cigarette, and I’ve never
smoked in my life.)
That was fun!!
eh eh. But wouldn’t that be animal cruelty? To the dog?
..
.
.
.
.
(I have a feeling this is going to double post… damn.)
PETA is overfond of exploitative shock tactics which do more to damage their cause than help it, so yeah, they’re a right bunch of nutters.
Meanwhile, if you’ve never had dog banh mi style, you’re missing out
Gee, sounds like politics in general.
he was probably referring to africans in third world countries in the north who need stuff… I find it pretty racist that you believe that they don’t deserve anything!
WHAT NOWWWWW?
hahaha i sure hope you were kidding
This is actually a fail within a fail. Even without the sticker – who wastes time cooking for their dog? I barely cook for myself.
Made from locally sourced and imported ingredients
They should have just titled it “How to Serve Dog” IT’S A COOK BOOK! NO!!!!!
Your name is correct. You are a buzz kill.
any good potato recipes in there?
that’s what the vicar said…
NO!
i know who would be cruel enough to cook a potato?
Holy failure, batman.
Surprised no one has thought of this yet: “IT’S A COOKBOOK!!! IT’S A COOKBOOK!!!”
Check glenstar’s comment almost two hours earlier. Reading through all the comments FAIL.
Brought to you by the writers of How to Cook For Forty People.
er…Humans rather.
SOYLENT BROWN IS DOGS?!
In tough times like deese…
In tough times, Like Cheese!
{this message brought to you by The Wisconsin Cheese Council}
That little pup better run… Thats MY idea of fast food!
well, at least its safe…
I, for one, feel that this would improve the book immensely.
It was curry poisoning.
The alsatian had gone out of date…
Don’t forget to brine your dog over night.
How to cook for dogs?
How to cook forty dogs?
How to cook for forty dogs?
Real life watches Simpsons?
(Click on my name and scroll to 2:40 for more)
According to Will Forte, no one should have to cook their own dog! Dogs should be RAW! And LIVING!
http://www.adultswim.com/video/?episodeID=8a2505951bb6e4ab011bc1ec4d8b0098
Fail. Here’s the real video
http://www.adultswim.com/video/?episodeID=8a2505951b6aa0be011b79cc9b2f012c
omg! i saw this same book with the same label hiding the same word and took a pic to submit but the memory cd on my phone broke and i couldnt take it off! heehee, wow.
I hate it when that happens.
customer – One order beef and broccoli please.
cook – OK, grabs dog and Mookie.
enough of being bored… Leaving work!
You have mistakenly inserted the word “have” in your sentence. But don’t worry
we know what you meant to write.
I thought the mistake was the additional ” ‘d” and the “rather”. But then, who knows?
Yeah, Elliot is in his own little world. Who are we to decipher what is really going on in his mind. And do we really want to know anyway, sounds awfully scary.
Uhhh… no, I don’t remember that one.
Here you go…just clickie my name for a trip down memory lane!
I think this was from JUST before my time here. I have no memory of this. The other possible answer is it was posted while I was out of town and not where I could access the interwebs.
I think it was before my time too. I didn’t recognize either of the previous/next fails as well. And I’ve been pretty addicted to at least viewing the fails since I started. Makes me curious as to when it was I lost my failblog virginity.
This one made me LOL for real.
please send recipe
I have eaten dog. It is good. I have had dog soup, barbecued dog, and boiled dog. I had it when I lived in Vietnam. Mmm… Dog is “cho” in Vietnamese. Toi thich an xu’p cho!
lol
it’s all because of that label
cool , real fail for sticker placement ! lol
This isn’t a fail, thats just a Chinese cook book. (LUlz)
Brilliant
hey, thats my dog
o no wait that can’t be, i ate it yesterday
010000100110010100100000011100110111010101110010011001
010010000001110100011011110010000001100100011100100110
100101101110011010110010000001111001011011110111010101
110010001000000100111101110110011000010110110001110100
01101001011011100110010100101110
01011001011011110111010100100000011001110111010101111001011100110010000001100001011100100110010100100000011000010010000001100010011101010110111001100011011010000010000001101111011001100010000001110000011000010111010001101000011001010111010001101001011000110010000001101100011011110111001101100101011100100111001100100001
yeah! binary! although i have absolutely no idea what you are trying to say, it’s still extremely entertaining!! one one zero one zero zero one one one zero zero…
1st Binary: “Be sure to drink your Ovaltine.”
2nd Binary: “You guys are a bunch of pathetic losers!”
My message to the second (no need to comment on your first): Not all of us. But it’s also safe to know you’re too afraid to post your random stuff in normal text. =3
Anyways, on the subject of this fail, It’s price label fail. The price label itself says, “Cooking for” and some other stuff. Learn to read more than the price, kids.
Also in binary:
.– …. .- – … .- .-.. .-.. – …. .- – .- -… — ..- -
sorry it didnt cone out right.
Try again…
. _ _ . . . . . – – . . .
. – . – . . . – . .
- . . . . . – -
. – – . . . – - – . . – -
dammit, i’ll try again
. – - / . . . . / . – / – / . . .
. – / . – . . / . – . .
- / . . . . / . – / -
. – / – . . . / – - – / . . – / -
do might taste good, but i no that guinea pigs are scrumptious…
dog, the other white meat… does it taste like chicken?
the other white meat
I work for this company.
You wouldn’t believe what slips by.
You’re welcome.
HAH! I work at HPB, I *KNEW* I wasn’t the only one who saw that!!
There really isn’t a fail here, the sticker is obviously covering up the word “for”
not reallz a fail here because when u look at the sticker it says cooking for….. the guy taking the picture just put the sticker over the word FOR. getting attention by manipulating facts or stuff is the real FAIL here
Actually, the whole run was stickered like that at our warehouse. We thought it was funny. So did the rest of the internet. Enjoy your personal fail.
i actually read “cook for your dog”, so at first i didn’t realise what the fail was
you can see on the label: “Cooking for Y”, so idk. Im sorry. i pay too much attention
Obviously its the word FOR is under the price tag to the right. Its a fail it looks so fake.
I call this a smartass pricing clerk win.
kimchi dog meal bop FTW
dog fail
totaly.
i’m all alone in the world.
i nead cumfurtin
this proves there’s no need *** the word “for” in english language