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» 226 Failures in Communication
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No, lower… Ok, there.
I love being guided.
That’s what the blindfold is for…
I love being blindfolded…
I know. That’s what the tattoo on your * says.
I see that you can read Spanish pretty well.
Not to mention braille.
I knew that those magic hands of you had to have some special training!
A certain huevo taught me.
OMG get a room!
*Horrified*
How… could you?
*puts hands on hips* Do you see a ring on this finger? *waggles finger* A girl’s not gonna wait forever, led on by empty promises… *starts to cry* Even though I love only you…. *falls onto couch, sobbing*
Er… isn’t that a ring on your finger?
I mean… *sits by Mookie and puts arm around her*
We don’t need to wait, if you don’t want to. I was going to wait for the right moment, but i guess any moment’s right if i’m with you…
What…. what are you saying? *dries eyes*
I was going to wait before i gave you this…
*breathless* Go on…
OOO!!!! Is the egg going to propose to the broccoli???
There’s a phrase I was hoping I wouldn’t have to hear. . . again.
There’s something I must tell you about that broccoli. . . it has a stalk.
THere’s something I have to tell you about that broccoli, it has a stalk.
*Erases*
*looks into Mookie’s eyes*
I’ve been thinking about this for a while…
*sniffs, wipes eyes again* Yes…?
*Gunshot*
What was that noise?
*hides smoking gun, kicks body under bed* Nothing, honey, nothing at all… as you were saying…
Yeah, sorry…
*looks into Mookie’s eyes*
I’ve been thinking about this for a while and…
*grabs EGG’s “chin”* Focus, baby, focus… Did you forget to take your ADD meds again?
Next week, on the young and the edible. . .
My AD… look! There’s a corner there! The walls made it that way! *giggles*
*sigh* *gives EGG his pill* *wonders about his job prospects…*
Suspense, drama, comedy, and a steamy heroine, this thread has it all.
Not to mention a body under the bed. Woo!
I like a hardboiled detective story.
*munches pop corn*
*makes dramatic and sucky scene*
I’m scared, hold me.
Hi Fluffy!.
We tried to get a room, but we did not like the toilet.
Was it aimed wrong?
It was designed wrong by our fastidious standards, and maintenance was not quite good.
Mookie
December 17, 2008 at 1:32 am
“A certain huevo taught me.”
u were taught by an egg?
The real fail here are those extra words they wrote between “Top” and “Less”.
You must be on the G-rated fails Lou. I see no such words.
This explains the lack of naughty comments over the last days…
I thought that was because Ryannon was away…
I was assuming that was because everybody was busy playing with a potato.
Yeah, where is everybody? It’s kinda creepy in here, just the two of us. I hope those security cameras are working.
Do you plan to sell the tapes? I want my 49%!
Is that more than half? Or less? *consults olds fals*
i can haz camra?
New person right here!
Oh look! He’s a brand new person. *wipes off afterbirth* I think he’s a… boy?
Here Mookie, toss that mess in the bukkit.
Now…let’s take a look at…OMG! What do you think that is?!?
Huh.. You’re the doctor, you tell me…
Hmm, well…Chubby long snout…
‘Come-love-me’ eyes…
! So that’s what the Fail of Moomins was up to yesterday!
They were conspicuous by their absence…
*wonders if a potato joke would be appropriate here*
Aren’t they always?
As long as you’re laughing with the potato, i guess.
Nah, potatoes don’t have much of a sense of humor. Especially not in the mornings. ESPECIALLY especially not before coffee.
*gives Katy a cup of coffee, sits creamer out and the sugar ccubes* I have 3 kinds of bagles and 3 different cream cheeses also, which would you like, or we can have scrambled EGG with a side of Mookie. or fried potatoes *hides the peeled skins of katy’s fallen comrades, and makes sure that the curtains are straight from the Vicar’s visit*
*sneaks a bagel*
*gives it a nice toasting with a wee bit of *FOOM!*
*accidenty sets the curtains on fire*
Dragon! You accidenty your action verb!
Dammit. What should I do??
Let someone else accidenty the replacement curtains.
Whew…okay. That was a close one!
I’m afraid it’s curtains for you
Wonder what a topless camera would look like.
Ask Christopher. I’m pretty sure knows.
That’s the whole point of the camera, Lou. It’s watching those words between “Top” and “Less”.
I wonder if the camera was aimed before or after the banner? Strange though, if it was before, it was recording the backs of peoples heads as they walked in…… Silly brits…..
(All in fun…..and so nice nobody has shouted ‘first’ yet. )
First
Did I do it right?
You’re supposed to shout it, and then get tazer’d.
Like so: FIRST! OMGOMG! I’M FIRST!
*Tazes*
*Is tazer’d*
boy that one backfired, kinda looked like a setup to me.
This thread has been photoshopped!
(Comedy genius by Thwarted and Cloud though)
I’m just glad i woke up after being tazer’d.
DON’T TAZE ME BRO!
*gives Dalkorian a swirly, knowing he obviously wants to be tazed**tazes Dlakorian, since he’s wet and wanted to be tazed before**laughs ass off*
And the faces on people heads as they walked out.
Did insulting nationalities became a sport?
it’s now an olympic sport, to go after with trampolining
I would had bet about that sport going right after “Booze Drinking” and just before “Happy Slapping”.
Booze Drinking isn’t a sport, silly, it’s a profession.
I filled once an application for that.
I was ready to be paid mim wage or hier, but they told me I lacked the expertise for the position.
no raping, eh?
True. And to make things worse I forgot to check the “I want a joint” option.
Oh, well, here… *hands Lou ‘something’* Wanna go party?
Why, yes.
Does Anybody remember who had the bong?
Sammy did, I think. But we don’t need it. Here, I have an apple… *performs an applectomy* Oh, this is good. *signs, signs, passes* Ear.
Impressive skills with fruits, Mookie.
*sings, sings, passes*
*signs, signs, passes* Dude, I’m wasted… I’m going back to bed, it’s early here. Wake me up when the next fail comes.
Happy dreams for you (it seems like next fail is in 20 minutes, btw)
i know 2 people with a bong
Haven’t you read the past few days of fails? No nationality is same, not even the Spanish.
*safe*
I read them, this is why I was asking.
I am training hard to insult the Etruscans (how I hate these pesky Etruscans always saying that Etruria is the coolest country in the world)
Don’t feel bad. Not everyone is a world-class bigot. Keep practicing.
*vaults*
*cartwheels*
*long-jumps*
*pole dances err vaults*
*hurdles* onto the stage to dance with Ry…
I’m piqued. Why would you think it’s safe to be Spanish? We keep getting siesta’d all the time…
*glances around* seems that everyone’s on vacation indeed.
Insulting nationalities? You mean like Burnmudian, Zingbabwean and Jamockan?
POB! Where have you been? I feel like I haven’t read a comment from you in forever.
Hey McFail, whassup girl! Hey pob!
Ahh, I tried to come into work early to finish something up… and then ended up on failblog… again. Damn you failblog! *shakes fist*
Pfft. I couldn’t sleep. Been up since 4:00. Thank God for failblog…
I was wondering what was going on with the early morning posts.
Stupid chronic insomnia… Bah…
It just gives you more time in the day to bill hours
Speaking of which *wanders away from failblog to do work*
Eat a banana or knock one out. Masturbation always puts me back to sleep. Everytime someone on here *masturbates*, I get sleepy.
1- Maybe that method could develop a selective insomnia… the body/mind could refuse to sleep until after pleasure ration
2- “knock one out”…you always make me to learn new (for me) idioms and look into urban dictionary.
3- You really like bananas
Masturbation 101
Rub/Knock one out
Run a batch
Shake hands with the guvna
I am sure others can add to the list
Pet the Kitty
Stroke the fires
Wax the dolphin
Take the kids to the pool
*glances askance at LB*
Take the kids to the poolPlays pocket pool
Buff the muff
Wanna pet my monkey?
How about slapping around my salami?
Stroking the piston
Beating the meat
Sex for one
Wanna pet my monkey?
How about slapping around my salami?
Stroking the piston
Beating the meat
Sex for one
choke the chicken
“work on a good cause”
hang out with Palmela Handerson
And the always classic, “flick the bean.”
Talking with Rosie dePalma and her 5 sisters.
i feel ur pain mookie
How do you know it is the entrance? Also the poster could be double sided which would imply that the camera may be on the other side, pointing towards the entrance, if it is an entrance.
*Ockham shudders*
*Occam tasers*
Well, that was the most probable outcome.
Ah, that way no one can see the employees walking out with free stuff!
Actually, with everything only 1 pound, that sign’s the most valuable thing in the shop… Risk management WIN!
In fact the camera is more valuable. They should replace the sign by a mirror.
Omg, you guys are keen tonight…
*tosses coat over topless cameras shoulders*
*tosses ‘ into comment*
Hey, watch where you’re tossing that apostrophe, you could put someone’s eye out!
Worried about the eye? I thought the spud was peeled a few fails ago?
ow! *throws / and ” at DrB
You have successfully pointed out my point.
Oops, didn’t mean to cut your grass…apols…
no biggy. I’m glad if anyone made it, it was you
I thought poundwarehouse is what McDonalds was called?
are you kidding? McDonalds way too expensive for that (I joke not. McDonalds ridiculously expensive for what you get)
that was supposed to be more a comment on the people than the food.
So exactly how much are you willing to pay for a fat ass and clogged arteries? Those don’t come cheap, you know.
say €5, which is roughly $10, not €10, which, for those who can’t count, is roughly $20.
i think m first price is reasonable.
i had maccy-d’s last night. yum yum yum. got served the wrong stuff though. i didn’t complain. i no want spit as a free additive!
Noncon: are you sure? cos that just doesn’t make sense….
I think he means McDonalds’ customers are hefty. No?
Correct! Show him what he’s won Bob!
Apparently, a penis.
Apparently a pen is what?
But look, thanks anyway. *wraps it back in original packaging* I don’t need it. I have a good friend who lets me use his anytime I want.
His pen?
Of course. What did you think I meant?
My friends can never seem to part with theirs
I keep my Mont Blanc ready at all times.
Are you too mad to lend me your pen? Mine’s out of ink.
Exhaustion is not in Mookie’s dicitionary.
*jumps into elevator to guide comment to the right place*
dang, missed it again
Does that come before or after “hard work”?
i guess i didnt miss it, thanks lou!
“Mont Blanc”, Fluffy? I think it comes right after “working it”. And sometimes it comes again a while after that.
I guess we’re well-matched then. *takes EGG’s pen* You’d better let me hold onto this for a while. You know, for safe-keeping.
Did anybody else notice that loufail managed to make a comment nest where it shouldn’t be able to? He nested below the “comments won’t nest below this level” level. WHAT’S GOING ON!? *panics*
Dragonwriter granted me admin privileges while she is busy, and I am can’t help abusing them.
You are so going to tell me how to do that!
Let’s talk about the price first…
Let’s talk about the price first…
Hehehe…nicely done, lou! I see my trust in you was not misplaced.
Stuck. DO NOT TOUCH!
*touches repeatedly*
…halfway inn?
*nuke*
Strange how they’re on the forehead like that sometimes, eh?
i still don’t get it
i suck
You do not. “Pounds” is a measure of weight… are you following?
woohoo! i follow!
*gives the slow chick a bone*
you probably shouldn’t feed chickens bones.
And I march to beat of my own drum!
*pa rum pum pum pum pa rum pum pum pum pa rum pum pa rum pa rum pum pum pum*
So YOU are that Little Drummer Boy!
GET HIM!!!
Its like a warehouse where they pound you into shape,
hence “poundwarehouse”
*hands macdonals serviette*
What?! 10 euro for a McD’s?! You really should move up here…
yeah, like a meal is 8.60 and if you get a rolo donught, that’s 9.something.
too many things tying down here…
i should move up, but can’t
1 dorrar
Oh, the dorrar! Oh, the dumanity!
Oh sorry I’ll give $2 for a full house, butt that’s my final orifice.
Its Poundworld
1st page comment!!
Rice or less? What could be less than rice? What does less than rice even mean? Is rice a specific quantitiy or level of something. This upsets Anpu and Lincoln. This upsets all of Zepland.
and maybe you are questioning what escafe is?
That language may be appropriate in Xenuland, but not here in Zepland. We pride ourselves in using only the most appropriate vocabulary possible. Anpu does not take kindly to your fighting words. Good day to you sir.
They just pointed the camera there so they could save on another sign… smart…
but who wants a sign that says “brands or less”?
The same people who put up a camera to save on a second sign.
For the equivalent-minded customer, it serves as a teaser trailer as well!
So the security guard spends all day staring at a sign that says “brands or less”? And I thought MY job sucks…
I can totally picture them…
Guard 1 – Dude, c’mere!!
Guard 2 – Whoah! Still??
Guard 1 – Yeah dude, it’s been doing that all day!!
Guard 2 – Awesome!
[Both high-five in sheer joy]
Nyahahahha… where are the shoplifters?
In the “Only £100″ department.
There aren’t any, as far as I can see. Looks like this store is safe!
YAWN *Goes back to sleep*
they are busy straining muscles trying to lift the shop
Hey, nobody stole the sign yet!
they would probably shoplift the other sign while the camera wasn’t watching.
Funny fact: “Colgate” means “Hang yourself” in spanish.
True for dialect of Spanish used in Argentina, but not true in the dialect we use in Spain. We’d say “cuélgate”.
I say “Besame el culo” but I never really mastered Spanish very well.
You should try saying “lameme lo de abajo” for optimal results.
You won’t make me call you Papi will you?
“Papi” and “Mamita” are only used on some American countries. Here in Spain that sound very weird (sounds like calling Dad or Mom to your partner).
But you can call whatever name you want, I like surprises.
That lecture sounds strangely familiar…
When one of your top brands is something called typhoo, you can pretty much cover up ALL the surveillance cameras.
I pity the phoo’…
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Typhoo
It’s just tea, what’s the matter with it?
It had an amazing advert a few years ago; “TWO THUMBS FRESH!”
*Slap*
Don’t you two get fresh with ME!
really good time to rob the place right there lol
did anyone else notice that the camera taking the picture is at the exact saem andgle as the picture on the “security” screen? yeah. I don’t think this qualifies as a fail. HAHAH Failblog FAILED.
what did you expect? lol
lawl
camera isn’t for us
http://www.dorion55.com
Shit, if they took the sign away it would still be a TV tunnel.
Breaks security camera off
Haha, tv time!
The tv screen is blnk…
Breaks tv off, hangs it to a lower area
Unable to watch, screen still blank… No plugin cord!?
Shoot.
Message will be placed at the corect angle…
Oops, process terminated.
*sigh* The breathtaking moments of fail…
at least they’ll know if someone steals the sign
somebody might try to steal the sign?
I say win. double advertising.
what is typhoo?
Been reading your excellent blog for quite a few weeks now, and i am enjoying many of your excellent topics.
Thank you for writing such an appealing post. Normall I see the same thing and it starts to get on my nearves. Thanks again and I’ll be back for more.
Where the hell is that camera T_T
where is the camera?