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Cheezburger Network Blog
<3
That sign sure avoids employees from selling the fire extinguisher!
but if they want to sell the venomous reptiles they now where to find them
LOL
This first has a heart on.
Much better than f*rst. Spread the love! <3
Don’t you see – <3 meaning less than three – if we assume integers only, that’s a a 50% chance this guy(/gal) WAS saying fir… the f word. It’s schrodinger’s troll.
I always see a small pointy penis with oversized balls when I see that. I guess for some, that would equate to love.
There are an infinite number of integers less than 3.
First \o
fck >.<
Here’s some fail we prepared earlier
Where is BondFan… This is about the time he rolls in to taze…
*ponders*
you could just throw ‘im to the snakes
he’s prolly at school… no?
I did it all for the Mookie.
C’mon! the Mookie! C’mon!
So you can take this cookie
and stikkitupyorASS!
.
.
oh! Now I know what the vicar was listening to…
…and he was all out of cookies?
I’ll take up the calling in his place!
*Tazes Harry*
I have a towel…I could smack Harry with it.
**Smacks Harry with wet towel**
you fail at something pathetic
you < pathetic
TAZE!
lal
first to vote.. anyway.. <3
It is a trap, they sold all fire extinguishers.
But what if the reptiles catch fire?
Just don’t try to film them, snakes like to eat cameramen.
I have been loving all the refs to previous fails in comments this week. XD
You could always try extinguishing them with melted ice.
Perhaps what they mean is that they don’t want venomous reptiles to enter. I can understand them, in fact.
You understand venomous reptiles?! Can you ask them if they have some kind of fondness for fire extinguishers and how much they’re willing to pay?
Well, I can have a fluent conversation with my girlfriend, so I guess that counts. I don’t think she wants any fire extinguishers though.
Either that’s really kinky or you’d better hope she doesn’t read Failblog…. or both!
Bit of both really. Still, one can only hope.
Blow up dolls can’t read. *duck*
Hmm. I was expecting you to *scootch* out of the way. I guess avian references are all the fashion today.
Where’d this come from? It wasn’t here earlier.
Curses.
*sigh*
The avian references are in a different fail.
*leads Ryannon away*
Hold on, I’m not done yet!
*flings a duck at Ryannon* …duck!
She’s obviously got bird-flu.
You’re not helping with her mallard-y.
*gooses the moomin*
Neeheeheeheehee.
*gets in a flap*
Feeling a little henpecked?
I didn’t want to sound overly mockingbird.
Chirp feel better eventually, I hope.
That was a bit of ostrich…
That was swan as well.
Sure, Enter. It would be a special reptile that could actually use one anyway.
Foamzilla
I understand that snakes have a hard time mastering doorknobs to begin with.
I’m glad you said “door” there
They can’t quite get the hang of it.
Oh yes I see, that would make sense. Can’t trust venomous reptiles with the fire extinguisher!
If you squint, that gummy bear has a moustache and goatee.
I have ABP, so no matter how hard I squint, I still can’t see a gummy bear.
Hahah! I see it! But maybe that’s just because I’m crazy…
Morning Mr. Cuddles.
Good morning ja fail!
I see it too… maybe we’re both crazy.
The white stick is wrong.
This is faked!! cant us see that?
it´s faked with photoshop or something, but it´s damn faked!
dude, you’re right!
that ‘SAFETY FAIL’ is soooo photoshoped in – it’s damn obvious!
I may be out of line here fellow failblog lovers, but I’m going to say that the little failblog logo in the corner of the picture is also shopped in…
Come to think of it, I think Failblog photoshopped the window in which I am veiwing the internet. Perhaps my computer is shopped in front of my face? What if I’m shopped?
*runs in terror*
Omg! WE ARE ALL SHOPPED OUT!
*comforts ja*
it’s ok. you’re not shopped.cogito ergo sum: remember that as proof that you’re not shopped.
This discussion is over. I’m going shopping.
*Follows to discover what Mookie likes, to establish a Christmas list* Shops.
But wouldn’t your kid prefer something from Santa’s workshop?
Nah, The real gifts are in Ja Fail’s Fail Van… Beer and Bean Bag Chairs.
*reads Christopher’s response*
Hmmm… So it’s not stalking when you’re watching form a far, right?
*follows Christopher following Mookie*
hey i think i’ve seen your picture on a campaign poster recently!
Hmm…this looks like fun! *follows ja fail following Christopher following Mookie*
*follows mr cuddles* We’ve come full circle.
Put urwrong in the middle and you have a circle jerk of epic proportions.
If you’d like to see this “fake” for yourself, visit the manatee house at the Cincinnati Zoo.
Why are there venomous reptiles in the manatee house?
Damn, I KNEW it…The manatees are in cahoots with the venemous reptiles. I better get the non-venemous reptiles together, starting the the constrictors…
My trouser snake spits.
Does the Listerfiend swallow?
I really don’t see why there’s a room full of venemous reptiles in a Microsoft building…
Ok I’ll bite… how do you know it’s a Microsoft building?
Because there’s a fire extinguisher inside! LOL!
wouldn’t that be Intel?
you know … intel inside…
So it was just a very poor, badly researched joke then?
Well, I know the difference between Intel and Microsoft, I just wanted to make a nonsense joke, I totally forgot about the “Intel Inside” tagline.
I thought it was because of the profoundly badly-planned use of the building… and the “Fire Extinguisher Inside” thing was icing.
….Right….I see….*head asplodes*
*Pockets the little pieces* Tsk… It’s so hard to get a decent head nowadays…
Will you be giving that head to someone in the future or keeping it for yourself?
It depends on how… nicely… they ask me for it
I don’t get it
(Insert joke about Microsoft, reptiles and lawyers here … )
I’d run away, but Mookie’s off following 3 people (guys?) who are following her, and McFail is Canadian so she’d be too nice to say anything. Or get even.
It is just a fake, so that no one will steal the extinguisher.
Is that your real name? Who in their right mind actually uses their real name on teh interwebs?
I do. If i don’t, i can’t get anything from Amazon.
Ok, since you are going to be a pedant: Who in their right mind uses their real name as a username (on teh interwebs)?
Eh? You mean you’re not Dabamash?
Crap.
*Scribbles out christmas card*
I want to be a pendant! Shiny!
I still don’t know why using your name would make someone wrong-minded… People could steal your avatar? Or use your comments to incriminate you in some sort of conspiracy?
Or a guy named Bob could stalk you.
Which Bob is that?
Oops, Rob/Bob, it’s all the same in my book.
I’ve read that book, it’s really scary.
Is it the small, black one?
anti-fail
Actually you need to kill 10 lizards in order to summon the Lizard Boss who has a key to fire dragon chambers. There you need to kill 5 young fire dragons in order to get a crystal key which opens a seald chest that holds the fire extingisher. Grants +3 cold damage.
This quest sux.
Don’t you have to keep picking up fireberries to light your way through the caverns? You just need to remember they go out after four rooms.
Fireberries? No wonder I am not seeing anything. I keep picking up dingleberries. D’oh.
But I thought Dingle and Berry were only located in the Fields of Futbahl.
its not a fail since its obvious that some smart ass put that reptile sticker on it… anti-fail
So you like your salad tossed, eh?
Then his username would be tossee, not tosser.
Damn, you’re right. *hangs head and slinks away*
I thought that was a TV at first so…. fire extinguisher + venomous reptiles inside a TV = wtf?
A TV with a screen made of wood? Wow!
That’s wood?
No, it’s tiberium.
ok……
No, it’s titanium.
like wtf… did anyone see the (at first) part of my comment?
Yes
I wanted to do that! *cries*
Don’t worry! You can still see it, just scroll back up a bit!
like… wth… did anyone see the (at first) part of my comment?
No
And this! *cries some more*
i can do it again.. it is pretty funny
I see you went for ‘what the hell’ in the second comment though. If it had continued would your expletives have gradually got gentler?
Well when i clicked the [add comment] button my computer
froze, so then i closed the browser and went back to the page
and i see that my comment didn’t post. so i typed it again, five
minutes later my first comment appeared. and yeh maybe the
comments would get gentler!
omg my writing goes off the screen so i hit enter, and it makes that crap… or ima stop talking
So you are saying that this was not poetry?
Ceci n’est pas une poésie.
That’s the worst spanish I’ve ever seen..
It’s all Greek to me.
Your puns are a riot!
Sir taki those comments elsewhere please.
Really! Police take your comments elsewhere, or they’ll be jailed.
My buns are rye? What?
“I thought that was a TV at first so….”
Yes I saw!
wow my computer is slow..
I tried that, it wooden work.
I sawed what you did there.
Yew’d have to be as thick as two short planks not to.
I’m not sure this conversation is branching off the way I expected.
You’ll twig what’s going on soon enough.
Oh leave me alone already
I wood mill around, but it’s well past snooze time, so I’ll just leaf it alone…
But I’ll be a birch and bring it up again…
in Soviet Russia venomous reptile enters you?
в России sovet смертельные гады входят в вас!
In soviet russia, fire puts you out.
In Soviet Russia, fire turns you on!
*thinks*
Step 1 – put your snake in a box…
Oh no…
Step 2 – Put out fire.
Step 2 – Agonise over whether the snake is dead/alive inside the box, whether the snake still exists and if there is truly a box.
Step 3 – Wash snake in bukkit.
Step 4 : ?????
Step 5 : Profit
Step 4: Run a business that sells “you-shall-not-pass” styled signs for Jamaican venomous reptiles.
*sets fire to the building*
Allright… Who’s going in there?
Asps! Very dangerous! ……. YOU go first!
FIRST! oh, shit
*reptiles attack*
Snakes….it had to be…..snakes.
-Here! Grab the snake!
-Don’t call it that!
-Well, what should I call it then?
-Say rope!
-Grab the rope.
I’m tired of these motherf*cking snakes on this motherf*cking Blog!
Frist
Damn it!
Methinks you accidenty your r.
Why would you need a fire extinguisher in a venomous reptile’s pen… unless… Dragonwriter’s lair perchance?
I’m not venomous and my pen is not poison!
A tad piquant, mayhap…
and addictive.
Only for those who like things a little…spicy.
I consider myself a man for all seasonings.
Cumin, then…I’m waiting.
That’s anise outfit you’re wearing. Aren’t you a bit chili?
I would lovage it if you would come over here and warm me up. Orris that too forward of me…?
Let’s get comfrey on the rug by the fire. Cress yourself against me.
*snuggles*
Careful…I’m liable to get curried away this thyme.
Just use the snakes to beat out the fire, with any luck it will put out the fire and you will have a snake snack afterwards.
“So, what do you think is the worst way to die: Fire, or eaten by snakes?”
Both: fire, then the snakes feast on a crispy roasted carcass.
Easy. Fire.
*BLAM*
Both…a.k.a. Bibliphages…as no one understands what I’m talking about.
Oops, I meant Bibliophages.
I think that’s either the Cincinnati or Columbus zoo. Leaning towards Cincy, but it’s been a long time since I worked there.
Oh, I am sad to hear that they canceled the Bouncing Primates show!
It’s because it caught fire and no one would go into the snake pit to get the extinguisher.
it’s definitely cincy
it is most definitely the fine zoological gardens in cincinnati
We can fail if we want to
we can leave your friends behind
Cause your friends don’t fail and if the don’t fail
Then they’re no friends of mine.
Help! I spilled water on my laptop and fried it. Now I’m trying out the desktop.
(pretend I said something funny)
LOL! Mookie, you are a right one. I nearly accidenty my pants.
Let me dry them while you hang the drapes. Just be careful and don’t fall back, I am in the middle of making potato salad.
Did you try to dry the laptop in the microwave oven while suing the Water Company for distribution of hazardous substances?
People think things like this would keep Anpu busy. They don’t know what his line of work really is.
They had to move the extinguishers inside the venomous reptile room to keep people from hanging it on the pipes.
I could swear that’s Cincinnati Zoo signage….damn now I need to go to the zoo
RIKI TIKI TAVI!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN WE NEED YOU???
Well, I’m bored. Off to do Festivus shopping for me! Need an aluminum pole, and a tape recorder…
Ah poisonous snakes are good for you dude. Go for it!
jess
http://www.internet-anonymity.net.tc
first!
OMG!!!! how stupid. that is a freakin huge fail. wat idiots. i mean really. how stupid can people get?????
Mission:
Brave the venomous reptiles to save the zoo from fire!
wow poisonous snakes are good for you? taken ingestively or in a syringe?
At first I thought “Venomous” was some kind of scientific name, or perhaps the owner.
Then I saw the fail.
And I wept.
Cincinnati Zoo
first!!!!!!!
i didnt know fire extinguishers fed on venomous reptiles.
i have a big penis
Can someone explain what’s stupid? Obviously, many people can’t reach that extinguisher (just like they can’t reach any that are in locked rooms), but it’s a reminder that there’s an extinguisher that people who can go in the room (there must be SOME, right?) can use, and that needs to be serviced periodically.
In a fire or other emergency, you always have to evaluate whether the obvious path is safe. If there’s smoke coming from under the door, maybe look for a different extinguisher? Likewise, if you’re not comfortable with the snakes, go find another one.
the snake sign is fake, so FAIL
the snake sign isn’t fake because the reptile store this is in is in colorado and i live there and have been to that reptile place and lol’d at that sign as soon as i saw it.
I can hear it now. Jigsaw comes over the loudspeaker:
“Hello. I want to play a game. In 30 seconds. I will start a fire. Your only hope is the fire extinguisher. Unfortunately, the only extinguisher in the entire building is in the venomous reptile pit. Do not try to escape. Make your choice. And keep an eye out for Saw XVI in theaters soon!”
Trying to put out that fire just became that much more interesting!
oooh i know where this is, it’s in colorado! I thought it was a fail too!
Fake?
photoshop obvious u dumb bitch