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last!
Win! I love it! HAHAHAHA!
I dubbed it
I like your rhymes and mixing skills.
I saw four mimes just fixing spills.
I spend more dimes on jinxing spoils.
I could pour dimes down Nixon Hill.
I spent poor times with that vixen Jill.
I drink four stellas and beat up Jill.
I think nutella with meat doesn’t thrill.
I make jello with heat, and then chill.
I bake mellowed wheat, and add dill.
I spiked your wine, and smoking kills.
I’ll just eat and have my fill.
(Diets will start below this level)
I’ll just drink and pay my bill.
I just think I’m stuffed to the gills.
Hunting good will?
Mega Millions lottery’s up to 207 mill.
I’ve been up on top of Blueberry Hill.
007: License To Kill?
THE RHYMING IS KILLING ME SLOWLY BUT PAINFULLY
Treating your pain rather disdainfully?
I just think everybody’s crazy as hill.
I’ll just pay and stay my fill.
C-C-C-Combo Breaker!
potato
its all about getting in
Comments Locked!
The key is under the rug…
I hope it matches the drapes
If it doesn’t I know a certain vicar who could put up new curtains for you. As long as you have a potato handy.
I hope he snatches the grapes.
I hope he scratches le crepes.
I hope he watches the preps.
I hope he hatches the jackanapes.
I hope he latches the drapes.
*SQUEEZE*
*hides behind curtains*
be careful not to fall
.
.
here, let me move this potatoe…
urwrong, don’t walk barefooted around the house, it’s not safe.
nest fail
blub!
“unlocks, it’s all about getting in”
…I wonder if this includes chastity belts…
Not so speedy now, are ya’?
They don’t appear to be very swift.
That’s a hard fault to swallow in a locksmith.
Their expertise is nothing to crow about.
Their record is less than starling.
The quail-ity is lacking, for sure.
Sparrow a moment to consider your words, will you?
This comment has flown the coop!
*waits for it to nest in it’s rightful place*
(Amazing, didn’t really ex-peck it to get back in its place)
You guys are just robin all the fun out of this…
Which is a cardinal offense in some parts of the country.
Orioley?
It was just out for a lark.
Or maybe a long sqwawk on the beach.
But at least no one will be robin’ that van!
Good for the owner. He seems very gullible.
In the current situation, he’s also probably a screamer.
He does have something to grouse about.
Albatross will have to drive him home in the end.
Who gives a flock how he gets home?
Why, his feather, of course. You know he worries.
From heron out, I think he’ll be more careful.
You won’t egret it.
He’ll swallow his pride and look for a better place to plover.
Damn. I’m out of petrel. I need to stop at the gas station.
Vulture you talking about? He won’t recover that easily from this trauma!
I can sparrow a petrel for you. *Lends Dragonwriter a petrel*
Oh, owl help you find another one if you want.
Toucan look better than one.
Falcon you guys did this when I wasn’t here?
*pouts*
I’m pretty sure they egret not including you, Avis. If you need to feel better, just raptor arms around a moomin and give a good squeeze.
.
.
*Resisted the impulse to use “boobie*. *Is proud of self on that fact*
*tit(ters)*
You old coot.
That was cheap cheap.
I thought it was pretty swift.
They are too chicken to do anything illegal about that boot.
I won’t squabble with that conclusion.
Someone called?
I was wondering when you would show. This thread is for the birds.
Is that an African or a European Locksmith?
San Franciscan.
But the real question is, how would a San Franciscan swallow carry a coconut.
It depends on whether he was a San Franciscan monk before becoming a vicar or not.
Is that Ryannon!?
*HUGS*
No!
Is that Ryannon!?
*HUGS*
well, crap
sorry about the double post, don’t know how it happened.
Still, twice the love! you can’t complain
double post fail
too late fail *HUGS*
Yes!
*does moomin victory dance*
*dances in*
*SQUEEZES THE MOOMIN!*
*jitterbugs out*
“Squeezing the moomin” is my new favourite euphamism.
I like “punching the clown”.
That’s not a euphenism though is it?
More of a hobby.
IT COULDNT!!! It’s a simple question of weight ratios! A five ounce bird could not carry a one pound coconut.
Listen. In order to maintain air-speed velocity, a swallow needs to beat its wings forty-three times every second, right?
This is dead
No, it’s only mostly dead.
what do you do when it’s all dead?
Bury or burn it?
Just toss it out, lock, stock, and barrel.
I’ll see your lock, stock and barrel, raise you two smoking barrels and a snatch.
A risky gamble. It all revolvers around the cards you get dealt this time.
Well, shoot. My hand’s a bust.
Saline or silicon? Mookie can help you with that lawsuit against the plastic surgeon.
“…o that I were a glove upon that hand…”
When it’s all dead? Date it. Friendship and more.
Princess Bride win.
The Dread Pirate Roberts will never die!
Inconceivable!
You committed one of the classic FAILS! The most famous of which is, never get involved in a land war in Asia! But only slightly less well known is this: never go in against a Sicilian when DEATH is on the line! A HA HA HA HA HA HA … *falls over dead*
Ow! Watch your step!
lol!
.
Crap! You’re saying they were BOTH poisoned?!
Good thing I spent all those years building up an immunity to iocane powder
Good night wesley, good job, I will most likely kill you in the morning.
Humperdink! Humperdink Humperdink Humperdink!
Good luck storming the castle!!
I’m not a witch! I’m your WIFE & I don’t think I even want to be that anymore!
It’s 95% dead. That’s more than half!!!one!!bbq!
*looks for comment that ran away*
It’s 95% dead. That’s more than HALF!
Dating Fail guy should like it, then.
No, it’s just restin’!
I thought the avian references were above?
I thought this thread needed a goose.
I’m glad I just happened to take a gander at it then.
He’s gone to meet his maker!
He’s taking a dirt nap.
He’s kicked the bukkit.
He bought the farm.
Marius! Your comment number ended in 666!
I had no idea you worshipped Satin! :p
I just love the way it feels on my skin.
Sorry, that was my bad angel talking.
How do they get away with that?
bribery
SF DPT the worst crooks on the planet. Not bribery, that’s Chicago.
A shrubbery, maybe?
Did I hear Brave Sir Robin?
Oh, my mistake…that’s right…avian references are above…
Ni.
ICKY ICKY ICKY P-TAAAAAAAAAANGG!
You must chop down the tallest tree in the forest with…
.
.
.
A HERRING!
*Ssssshtuckt*
Message for you, sir!
*thump*
Are you suggesting that coconuts migrate?
She turned you into a newt???
I just want to siiiiiiiing…!
She has huge tracts of land.
Seriously, though, I wonder if he has the tools to unlock one of those things.
.
If I were a meter maid, I’d take one look at the van and say, “Eh, forget it.”
the name is speedy locks. not speedy keys.
or speedy payment.
no, they like those. double standards and all that…
Who said anything about keys? Someone of his caliber and expertise would never even need keys!
Exactly, safetydance. That’s why I said *tools* instead of keys. But, I don’t know if the locks on a boot are like a normal lock or if they have their own system. They don’t use boots here; they just tow your car. And the lot they use is not secure, so you can expect your car to be vandalized before you get it back.
Do you ever dance just because you want to?
Only when I want to leave my friends behind.
Or leave your friends behind because they can’t dance and won’t dance?
Well, they’re no friends of mine!
*surprises SafetyDance with a big trick ride*
Yipee!! “Victory Cry*
Well, since he know’s how easy it is to get in, maybe that’s just how he locks his van!
Diabolical!
of course this could be to stop it being pinched…
yeah – what scotteh said..
I type way too slow
These boots are made for walking…
… all the way to Denver. (thanks for the earworm pal – I’m gonna get you for that)
Country roads, take me home…
Are those dirty back roads?
Only if you are an enema of the state.
or a brown dirt cowboy.
As long as this cowboy’s name isn’t Dirty Sanchez.
As He Came Into The Window
It Was The Sound Of A Crescendo
to the place, I belo-o-o-o-ong…
Take me somewhere we can be alone
Make me somewhere I can call a home
*builds Mikey D a lighthouse*
The perch was Dragon’s idea. It looks more like a giant birdhouse than a lighthouse, but you should be comfortable here.
Dibs on the remote.
*Pushes Entertime off the perch*
Somehow I think not.
Thankyou Admiral, you’re too kind, I’d love a lighthouse.
*tries to direct light to blind passing speedboats*
Hee! Glad you like it.
And while I’m here…
*SQUEEZES THE MOOMIN!*
*leaps into my Admiral’s arms and gets carried away*
*recovers from the concussion*
*sulks a bit, then marvels at the view from the top of the lighthouse*
Uses light to do some crabbing. Yummy!
Psst! Guys! Marius gots crabs!!!
They’re big ones too! I also have butter sauce!
The snow gets deep in Denver. You need at least two boots.
More like Parking Fail
wow that sucks big time
It’s all about getting away!
I know what happened.
“Speedy Locks” is a “on-demand robbery” group, but the police arrested them, and locked the van for investigations. Simple!
Well if they’re all about getting in there is no fail. They can get in the van just fine. MOTTO WIN!
The Law of Conservation of Win: For every fail there is an equal and opposite win.
Law of Talking to yourself fail: For every time you speak to yourself there is someone who does give a @#$%
smartass fail. logic win. see how that works?
I never heard of a smart ass.
But it depends on what kind of ass you are talking about.
The kind of ass that tries to sound intelligent enough to make fun of someone yet fails miserably, thus resulting in the appearance of an ass.
Oh, but that would trigger internet censorhip.
Yeah, there’s some smartasses around here.
wow you got pissed off because i left one comment. wow, as much as you were proving that i was an ass, you proved yourself that you are an ass too. Got overdramatic and attacked me for one comment. At least I learned something today, Smartass fail. Logic win. Capitalization fail. ADD win.
He still needs to learn the weird Fail Blog humor!
please teach me these incredible weird Fail Blog humor
I’m talking about Salty Sack. I knew I should put his name in my comment!
Well, first of all, in order to be a smartass, you have to be SMART!
Epic Win
Too much salt. Health fail.
Yeah, but I can see right through you.
Damn. I better put some clothes on.
wow…so what have we learned here?
Smartass fail. Logic win. Capitalization fail. ADD win.
2th law of failodynamics clearly states that a single win, without equilibrium, will inevitably descend into epic fail.
3nd Law of Failwagonomics: Fail will continue to fail at a consistent rate unless win acts upon it.
Its as protected as a Windows computer
You mean that there’s an advanced eletronic protection agaisnt infections inside the van and a protection against intruders?
Wow! I really want a virus-free van!
It keeps crashing though. . .
My Windows never crashes, and it bluescreened once because of a hardware problem (dusty RAM).
I crash more with Mac than Windows
.
what makes it a bigger fail is the key is in the van
What makes it worse than that is the window on the passenger side is open and they can’t get in to unlock the door to roll up the window.
What makes it worse is that a guy pointed out that the door was unlock and, Speedy Locks went mad and said it was “impossible” to get in and sacrifices the guy to the Fail Gods above.
six chins.
^^ I found the newt! He’s right here!!! ^^
Seven swans a-swimming?
Sorry, dude. I was talkin about teh fat, s&m dude in teh other post. Dudes got 6 chins!!!!!!
Apparently crushed the wheelcover too. That’s gonna cost them at least one lockout rescue
its all about getting halfway inn
You think he was just being a big dick, then?
There’s a vicar who would like to meet him.
And his potato.
“Who are you, and how’d you drive that van away?”
“I’m a locksmith. And I’m a locksmith.”
Who are you, and how did you get here?
does he visit prisons? cos maybe his moto is its all about gettting in, but if all you want is to get Out….
That’s what she said.
Is there a bout of bad spelling going around today?
i’d hardly call three t’s a bout of bad spelling, more a bout of exteme amount of stupid typos.
and as i’m an academic director in an english language college in a country where we speak English English and not American English, I can misspell what I like. So THERE
*gloats uncontrolably*
tehehehe
“bearly”
Thanks for firin’ up my roflcopter!
Halfway in, or all the way in?
I do not understand this. It is just a van parked in the street. Is there a speeling mistake I have not noticed on the side of the van?
Do you see the red car in the background? It’s unlocked, that’s the fail.
Nu-uh, that’s a diesel van and he filled it with unleaded. What a fail! Lolz.
What are unlocks anyway? How do they work?
…I have to assume you misspelled ’spelling’ on purpose.
He was thinking about potatoes.
Yeah, I suppose you would want to peel those potatoes before you got naughty with them…
Just give Tony the boot.
That will bring him to heel.
Yes, make him toe the line.
We’ll get him instep with how things work around here.
We’ll save his sole.
And we’ll leave him tongue tied.
I’m sure we can cobble something together.
Hey! Are you speaking with a brogue?
As long as we keep the upper hand.
I am sure that our work will last.
You think it will leave a welt?
I think you accidenty your speeling.
speedy locks is speeled wrong…
Looks like a win for irony!
Quickly, call Speedy Locks!
Is that Goldie’s meth-addicted sister?
No I’m the drunk that passes out and they have to carry me home because I forgot where I left the damn keys, or they just put me outside and write on my face.
The second option is usually chosen.
That “WHOOOSH” you just heard was the joke passing by over your head.
im sure it was a “ker-plunk” sound.
WIN
LOSE
OR DRAW
Pictionary!
WIN x’s 2
Clearly not a fail, it says on the side “its all about getting in” didnt say anything about driving after that.
First!
What is so funny about it? The thing preventing the car from being stolen? I don’t get it…
GENIAL GENIAL GENIAL!!!
GENITAL GENITAL GENITAL!!!
This is only a fail if the locksmith comes back to his truck and can’t get the lock off. If he gets the lock off then it’s a parking authority fail.
LOL, Priceless! that has to be the funniest thing I have EVER seen!
jess
http://www.internet-anonymity.net.tc
Has there ever been a comment without a replyto it?
Ever?
this one is a comment without a reply to it.
Creepy, I biked by this van this morning. Seriously.
Not fast enough…
What I want to see is the follow up picture where the locksmith has picked the lock on that boot and left it by the side of the road. Fail! I think not…
San Francisco for the win! This had to be by Haight Street. Poor locksmith.
“Unlocks it’s all about getting in”
…is this talking about chastity belts?…
This is really a clamping fail. If anyone is getting out of this, it’s a locksmith.
yeah, its what you said
Its very funny!! What made it worse is the window on the passenger side is open and they can’t get in to unlock the door to roll up the window.
haha the irony!!
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Cause Im fast…
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