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» 192 Failures in Communication
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Cheezburger Network Blog
First!
FROST
FRISK
BRISK
BRISS
BLISS
PISS
DISS
MISS
MOSS
Combo breaker!
Bamboo beaker!
PS. KISS
Sarpsborg!
(moss is a city in norway)
VOSS
I HAS SEXUAL INTERSCOURSE WITH YOUR MOTHER!
your mother had sexual intercourse with a bango playing midget
did you accidenty banjo wrong?
Honestly…is it possible to accidenty the banjo right??
Canoe trip anyone?
You sure do have a perty mouth
You have just arrived at the intersection of Bumf*ck Lane and You Got A Perty Mouth Drive.
Is that anywhere near Broomrape and Smoketree?
ARCANE
Congratulations pssvr, now you are in the list of the idiots!
…who squandered the chance to set the tone…
… of the comment thread …
…with ellipses…
…FROM HELL!!!…
I haven’t even sent any gifts out yet! Don’t blame that on me lol
Really?
Wow, I’ve never been in a real list before.
Nice! And if you try hard enough, you can join the troll list in one week!
wouldn’t the troll list be a promotion for him?
Yes, really. Aren’t you proud of yourself? You got to say “First!” as though it was some kind of achievement, and now you’re in someone’s list of idiots.
I’ve always dreamed of this day. I’d better call my mother.
No worries, I was just about to call her anyway, I’ll fill her in.
You’re a fukin nerd!
what?
Sure. Just don’t look at his criminal record.
Or the fact that the photo is eerily similar to a profile mug shot. I guess they used the banner at the bottom to hide the row of numbers he was holding?
Looks like they photographed him while he was stalking.
Shh! Be vewwy, vewwy quiet! I’m stalking voters!
hah-hah-hah-hah-hah
That “banner” is actually called a title block, and by law must exist on all engineering documents.
P.S.
Stalker is a pos and needs to quit at CSES
I trust him already
why couldn’t he run for Pres? dang….
that would be because he is canadian but being a carleton engineer growing a moustache to help support research and treatment of prostate cancer might negate that.
This fail fails. Does that cancel out and make it a Win?
but is it a win at being a fail? if so, refer to question # 20
The answer of which is not “My dick.”
Says you!
Two wrong don’t make a right. It’s a double fail
–
In my opinion the poster is a triple fail for:
1st: Name fail
2nd: Layout fail since the text is hardly visible in some areas (due to low contrast)
3rd: The Picture looks like taken from his police records
But three rights make a left!
And four rights makes a quadrilateral!
And five rights makes the First Amendment! (Freedom of speech, freedom of religion, freedom of the press, right to petition, right to peaceably assemble)
Four rights also make forward (or up, depending on which plane you are).
You can trust him to follow up on any issues you have. Or just to follow you all the time
His campaign theme song was probably “I’ll be Watching You” by the Police
“Wherever you go, whatever you do, I will be right here waiting for you…”
“Every breath you take, every move you make.”
And its’ fun to see the Giant Demonic Gummy Bear on a stick while I’m typing this.
“I don’t mind spendin’ every day,
On your corner in the pourin’ rain…
Look for the girl with a broken smile,
As her if she wants to stay a while…”
iiick!
It’s the beady eyes on that bear….
No one beats Enrique Iglesias:
You can run, you can hide, but you can’t escape my love.
“They’re coming to take me away!” xDD
Incorrect song d-bag!
Alternative song recognition FAIL.
nice try at covering up your FAIL. Now you failed twice.
Don’t feed the troll, next thing you know he’ll be here every night looking for potatoes.
Unfortunately the Troll has been fed and I just bought a fresh bag of potatoes. I’m gonna have to lock ‘em up real secure now or I won’t be able to make any french fries tonight!
And make sure to watch out for them Vicars too! they like to do things with taters..
Take out Food: You FAIL. Song title FAIL. It’s “Every Breath You Take.”
Personally, I like the reworked version, where, at the end, Sting says, “Drinking beer…”
I voted for his cousin, Chester Molester, in the last election.
Mwoehahahahahahahaha!
You did say ‘election’?
You did say ‘You did say ‘election’?’?
You did say ‘You did say ‘you did say ‘election’?'?’?
Did you say Abe Lincoln?
No, but I still like it….”Stalker – AbeL in coln”
No, he said hey Blinkin.
Fix your boobs, man. You look like a bloody Picaso.
Put him in the tower of London! Make him part of the tour…..
You lost your arms in battle! But you grew some nice boobs.
Dude, seriously, stop seeing at his bobs. I’m serious.:|
You accidenty said ‘election’.
I accidenty had ‘erection’.
I have achieved an erection
Was he running for the local school board?
Mookie, you left it open…
Hey kids…
LAST ERECTION?
stupified here….
Unfortunate surname.
Unfortunate marketing.
Unfortunate creepy face.
Lalala.
My Girlfriend ditched me. Just wanted to say that. oO
quit stalking her and take her on a romantic boat ride to watch killer whales eat penguins.
I heard they have a mean streak a mile wide.
Girlfriends or killer whales? Or both, depending on how much your girlfriend weighs…..
The previous fail gives you handy advice on how not to get a new date.
That’s sad. Rly.
Waaait, is this for real? o_O
O-kay, This. is. real.
Scratch my former comment =D
*scratches*
Just a little lower Mikey… and little to the left… ahh, that’s it
Does it still itch? I had a previous comment become a rash once.
You must have said something irritating, then.
Histamine for his own good.
Must have Benadryl bummer.
not enough sistamine.
You guys can make a pun chain out of allergy terms?? You people are awesome!
You people?\:|
This is pretty funny, but I doubt it’s a fail.
Drew your attention, didn’t it? WIN!
how do you submit a picture. i’ve sent a couple of them to the email above but they never get posted and they arent rude or anything like that. what am i doing wrong?
They don’t post pornography, that is what you are doing wrong!
i havent tried to post porn.
Sorry but child porn is still porn!
not if it’s pild chorn!
Dude, you submit it and hope they pick it. Clearly your submissions sucked and therefore didn’t get picked. Don’t worry though, keep trying! I’m sure you’ll be funny eventually.
The poster looks like a “WANTED” sign or something. I voted for him!
I hired him to keep tabs on my ex…
I just didn’t have the time to do it myself so I called a name I can trust!
*gives cheesy advertising smile and thumbs-up!*
wow, i just realized, if he’s elected to Congress, his name and address would appear on the post office bulletin board right next to the FBI’s Ten Most Wanted! That would be proof coincidences don’t exist! Which means… the god paradox is solved! This means … wait … train of thought derailed. Everyone, back to work. Epiphany aborted.
The god paradox is pro-abortion?
uhm. scary stuff right there. ((:
i still lol’d
Rob Stalker: a watchful eye.
Is Rob short for Robber?
Is Tom short for Tomfoolery?
Is Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis short for Lopadotemakhoselakhogaleokranioleipsanodrimhypotrimmatosilphiokarabomelitokatakekhymenokikhlepikossyphophattoperisteralektryonoptokephalliokigklopeleiolagōiosiraiobaphētraganopterýgōn?
I have my doubts.
*fluffs the moomin*
*takes a snooze*
Does that make you a fluffer? Pr0n FTW!
*snork!*
Um…well…you see, “fluffing the moomin” has its very own sort of euphemistic domain…
Ah, hell. It’s just a bit of fluff.
Bless you!
*hands WG2 a tissue*
*whimper* Did I forget to mention that I’m Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobic?…GAAAAAHHHH1!!!!!!!!!!X’O
I think that Rob is short for Robitussin.
“No balls to be bustin’, no fightin’, no cussin’, just love for a drug called Ro-Bo-Tussin!”
But busting balls is exciting for adults!
The worst part is: see the stamp on it?
That school’s office APPROVED that poster
there’s the REAL fail
well technically it’s just the Carleton Student Engineering Society emblem.
if having a sense of humour is a fail, this could be a conundrum for failblog.
They say rob the stalker. Yay.
I also like that the picture looks like a mug shot.
I like the use of the stencil-like typeface.
I like the use of the 8 bit grey scale.
I like how they stuck the poster to the wall; they only failed the horizontal by about 30 degrees.
That’s ‘cuz he’s a crooked politician.
You mean this guy is not straight?
I like that “I’ve got someone chained in my basement” look in his eyes.
has no one figured out that the poster is SUPPOSED to look like a mug shot and be purposely creepy? the dude is the vp external for carleton university’s student engineering society. canadians vote yes on proposition indecent.
Have you not figured out that we don’t care? We’re here for the humo(u)r and for the durrision.
Another candidate for Humo(u)r 101!
Wow…the class is FULL.
I didn’t figure that out until I turned my screen upsidedown.
it still makes it funny, it just makes you sound less like an idiot.
i have backne.
Combine that with your small penis and I would put money on the fact that you juice.
whaddya expect from an engineering society? lame attempts at irony like this one!
I’D TRUST HIM WITH MY LIFE!
I’d trust him with my ex-wife lol
I actually go to this school, and I know that guy. I’m pretty sure he did that intentionally as a joke. Either way, he still won!
That was the most unkindest cut of all.
Isn’t it weird how there’s always a random guy who knows the person in the fail?
6 degrees of separation rule
and
a fukzillion people on the INTERNET
There is no doubt another person within a mile of you reading FAIL Blog right now.
I’ve actually met someone in my college that reads Failblog but doesn’t comment. My brother also says that back home, he started reading Failblog and people constantly approached him to see what he was laughing at. Now it’s spread to half the school.
I dated a guy that had a cousin who had a sister that worked at KFC and brought sporks home on a regular basis. I think she knows you.
*stalker radar engaged*
haha you said fuk
Carleton Student Engineering Society.
Exactly.
Sadly, politics is all about name recognition.
I have a third cousin that might have known a guy that sits on potatoes.
IRONY RECOGNITION FAIL
* tsk! *
I know, these people are morons.
haha yes! go carleton engineers!! im in my first year of aerospace
2nd year Electrical. Welcome to what I call “the CU Crew.” I know it’s lame, but I’m an engineer, not a poet.
This isn’t a fail. That campaign slogan is intentional.
It’s a joke. Failblog FAIL
That is the S.T.A.L.K.E.R. font!
Like Anpu, Stalker is a guy you can count on to be there…..hiding behind the bushes. Stalker-always there for you, despite what the restraining order says.
My name is Deathman Murdermax! Do you trust me? DO YOU?!?!?!?!
Reminds me of congressman Jim Leach. No joke, look him up. I think he lost his job in the great republican purge of 2006.
Dead or Alive? And what’s the reward?
President Stalker.
That has a ring to it. In Russian, too: in Russian, Stalker, pronounced Stuhl-ker, is a type of bounty hunter.
Reminds me of Stephen Colbert’s little moment about… what was it… Senator Cuckenboo? His legal title eludes me at the moment, but Colbert’s remarks were just as epic as this poor sucker Stalker’s name.
“Cuckenboo?! Sounds like a Dr. Seuss book! If Cuckenboo, You Can Too!”
Godz, I almost wanna vote for Stalker now… imagine… STALKER FOR SENATE. If he annoys anyone while in office though… “Sen. Hagel having problems with Stalker.”
WANNA SEE THAT!!!
Curse me for not having my camera! I drove past a housing construction site today where the cabinet truck said “Molsen’s Counter Fitters! Counters, cabinets and flooring done cheaply!”
Double FAIL
if you have a legit business, don’t name it something that sounds like ‘counterfeiters’
Stalker: A name you can trust to follow you all the way home in an unmarked white van.
He looks like Sylar.
Just a quick FYI, that kid’s real name is Rob Stalker. He was running for VP External for Carleton Student Engineering Society and that was one of his ads.
Needless to say, he is now VP External of CSES. You can vist his blog here.
http://cses-external.blogspot.com/
You also fail. This wasn’t his poster from the VP external campaign, although he does now have that position.
It was his first-year rep campaign poster from last year.
A note from New England: There was a US Representative from New Hampshire and former ambassador to Denmark named Dick Swett. His name was Richard, but he went with the nickname on all his campaign posters. Maybe he depended on the “just turned 18 and voting for the first time” vote.
For some reason this pic looks PhotoShopped to me…
I concur….Something about the shadows and the perspective.
Hey, I’d vote for him (Y)
I know this guy, it’s his last name and he did it as a joke. And of course he won.
No, it can’t be a joke, it must be an epic fail lulz lulz lulz
The name on my birth certificate is Stalker.
Hey, amazing how many dipsticks think they can come up with a comment on the name “Stalker” and get any reaction from me.
My reply is “Dude, I’ve been named Stalker for FIFTY ONE YEARS. Could ya maybe come up with some name joke I haven’t heard about a THOUSAND times already, fer chrissakes!.”
and I still have the EPIC WIN for this game.
“Are you really a Stalker?”
I whip out my ID card and point out that “Not only am I a STALKER, I am a MAJOR STALKER. See? It says so right here on my Government ID card. You might meet a lotta wannabess and fakes, but I am MAJOR STALKER and the US Air Force says so.”
That usually ends the stupid jokes stone cold dead.
I’ve got about another five minutes of riffing on all the name jokes, if I need to, but most folks give up at that point….
And it’s funny – lot of folks with our family name are either Engineers or Medical Careers – go figure.
Chestnuts roasting on an open fire…
Stalker’s his last name, Rob’s his first. It’s simple, fail-less (unfortunately), and I have no more to say about it.
yea i really will trust a stalker
Am I the only one who thinks Mr Stalker looks a lot like one of the reaction guys?
to their defence the marketer did blur the “S” a little
I go to school with the guy. This year’s campaign posters are funnier. He plays up his name well.
time for a name change?