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The key word here is “may”!
but probably not
lol.
I don’t get it :p
It will…stock markets rebound. Every bear market we’ve been in, we’ve recovered from. If people would’ve kept their money in the ’80s, they’d be astronomically rich now. Same thing’ll happen now. You just need patience, not the fricking government to bail you out. What people don’t realize is that economies are cyclic…there are good times and bad times. It can’t always be good.
Economies can’t stand three things: Incompetence, uncertainty, and greed. We have/had all three. Anyway, the Dow’s been up about 1000 in the past two weeks.
Doesn’t matter. The question is how far it’s going to go down before it rebounds. During the Great Depression, people couldn’t exactly hold onto their money when the banks closed, they lost their jobs, and were evicted, then had to use what money remained for food and shelter. I’d really like to see a ‘ticket to success’ that came out of that.
I was not referring to the Great Depression, I was referring to the ’80s. The Great Depression was another matter entirely. If FDR hadn’t done all the fricking make-work plans of the New Deal (funded by taxpayer money, by the way, which comes from where?), we’d have climbed out of our hole much sooner.
THE MOOCOW MAY HAVE A CHOCOLATE MARSHMELLOW, BUT I’M NOT AS THINK AS YOU DRUNK I AM! I SWEAR TO DRUNK I’M NOT DOG!
I’ve done well!
For every buyer there is a cellar.
For every cellar there is a whine.
For every whine there is a smack upside your head.
Gibbs style?
Gibbs, NCIS?
Gibbs kicks ass
Abby is awesome.
Yes, Gibbs kicks your ass!
No. No it wont be your ticket.
I like it.
For every smack upside your head there is a dumptruck
heh, I’ve never heard (well, seen, since it’s only obvious in print)that before! Good 1!
Thanks scotteh. I haven’t either, but I’m sure it’s out there.
Don’t cellar yourself short, Admiral.
*smile*
I dunno, Dragon, that was a bargain-basement comment…
Bad puns and silly streams of thought seem to be the foundation this forum is built upon.
pointing out the obvious WIN
Missing the obvious pun, fail. But don’t worry with a bit of education
you will be able to shore up your understanding of humor.
I’m successfull as always! All look at me!
*looks*
*looks as well*
I’d say pr0n may be the ticket to your success.
Any success there? I can’t see any from where i’m standing.
Sorry.
*Stands to one side so EGG can see*
No problem, you got better tickets than I. Plus, i’m not really a fan…
I’ll let you know if anything exciting happens. I’m beginning to have my doubts though.
Hi guys! Is this seat taken? *sits* What are we watching?
*sits* Can’t stay for long, have lotta work to do today. Anyone for a quick game of strip poker..Mookie, you go first.
But… I’m only wearing three items… Seems unfair.
Depends on your perspective, I would call it a head start.
*puts on extra pair of socks and a sweatshirt*
Ok guys, let’s all strip so we all have 3 items.
I will keep my Mexican hat, my sunglasses and a scarf,
I’m keeping my moustache, my cigar and my glasses.
I’m keeping my undershirt, my 1890’s monocle, and my smug demeanor.
Well, I’m already nekkid, and if you don’t like it, you can lump it!
Lump it.. well, there’s ONE euphemism for what I’d do…
Can I lump it if I DO like it?
*Offers Dragon a jeweled circlet that flatters her healthy reddish hue*
*Hopes he has his day in court*
Careful, your profession is showing.
Careful vicars, I believe Dragon left the er off lump.
Admiral, I’d diadem-illion deaths before I’d deny you.
Since I’m wearing Nothing, I’ll just deal and watch.
There wont be Much Ado about it, that’s for sure.
I bet his Pride would cause lots of Prejudice, though…
Sent you a message Mook.
Roger.
I’m sorry, Roger, but from behind you looked like a Mookie.
Mookie! PoB just said you have an ass like a cow!
♫She likes to moove it moove it moove it♫
There’s a moon out tonight
whoa-oh-oh ooh
Since it’s near Winter: ♫Blue moon Now I’m no longer alone♫
I see a bad moon rising.
I dunno, but here’s some popcorn. *passes the popcorn*
Careful where you drop ther kernels …
I’m a pirate today…..rrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
Yarrrr, matey, there be rrrr’s in that thar water!
Hey, anyone want to learn how to speak ‘pirate’?
yarr(dot)org(dot)uk/talk/
Funny stuff.
I lol’d. Ten years in a seagoing service, commonly referred to as Puddle Pirates; that’s some good stuff there!
The new facebook has Pirate as a language setting and it’s awesome!!!
*shuffles off to look*
Shuffles…? You’re still play strip poker, aren’t you?
Ante Up!
*DEALS* (cards)
Deal me out – last time I played I lost my shirt… and pants, and tie, and underwear.
Hmm.
*looks at cards*
I bet my hiphuggers.
*goes all in*
*gives a small moan of pleasure*
…What? OH! In the GAME!
*blush*
*doubles down*
*folds (into sheets)*
You can collect your winnings in the morning.
*goes in for the slow-play*
Congratulations people! Not one of you made a stud poker reference. I applaud your good taste.
Honestly, I was waiting for a chance to use my “holds ‘em” joke, but my admirable Admiral fell asleep.
For slow-play you need a slow hand and an easy touch.
Ambiguity ftw!
this cookie is not a fail i invested about half a million into Ford stocks the next week it more then doubled.
clearly this is a broken fortune.
What?! But John McCain said that the fundamentals of the fortune cookie were sound!
3rd!
The stupid comments won’t be your ticket to success.
These are what the economy is based on
2th
You may want to re-evaluate your counting skills.
and possibly your suffix-assignment skills as well.
Yo is making a common reference to an old fail.
I’m feel sorry for you, you lost your tooth…
It issing nice of you that you’re feel sorry.
So this is how the Chinese are planning to take over…
Cookie straight from the Wall street :O The old Chinese “i maded u a cookee an broet daon ur economee”-trick…
That, and lead paint, and poisoned pet food, and owning most of the US economy (what’s left…)
No, they are going to take over by beating use to death with squishables and if that doesn’t work they will make us all obese so we cant move with giant gummy bears on a stick!
Your summation lacks convincing evidence. McDonald’s Burger King and the other fast food chains are all American corporations. They, along with Microsoft, HP and Dell, are more likely the major contributors to American obesity… not to mention NBC, CBS, ABC and all the other US broadcasting companies…
Oh, and the Gummi Bear is a German creation, by Haribo.
$10 says Readers Digest will never hire you!
Meh. Who reads Readers’ Digest anymore, anyways? I was shooting for Playboy, myself. That way people can at least CLAIM to be reading my writings.
Your plan is ingenious
(Insert evil genius laugh here)
i’ll bet $100 that Reader’s Digest doesn’t use your reply on their joke pages?
Ah those are just technicalities, come on, this is a conspiracy theory based on conjectures and a thought process based on schizophrenia, everybody join in, we don’t need no actual facts!
Facts? We don’t need no steenking facts!
This fortune brought to you by AIG.
really? man, you gut it!
Some peeps don’t know about shorting in a down market.
I see you hedged your bet there.
Your comment is off the chart!
Don’t tick him off, he’s seeing red.
Don’t put that red in front of the bull market!
Toro! Toro!
We could use a red pen to make some market corrections.
*calls Loz*
And this market has a lot of bull in it.
Hee…! Yes, but I still got the pudding bukkit for that one! *grin*
i bet you trim your hedge.
Only in privet.
My hedge is a boxwood.
I’m on the verge of hysterics here.
Fourth!
*looks closer*
There’s less there than meets the eye.
Are you saying it’s a gobot?
Better than a Flobot?
More agreeable than no-bot
Less entertaining than a show-bot
Cheaper than a blow-bot
Darker than a glow-bot
Hotter that a snow-bot
As a shareholder, I HAS no comment.
Would you like to hold my shares?
*wicked grin*
Yes, in a private placement.
That sounds very equity-able.
I do believe that the Admiral has got his hands on some preferred stock there.
Love the irony…
…tastes like kung pao chicken.
Roffle…
Is that the real chicken or the other chicken?
Depends on your success in the stock market.
Chicken Stock?
But a half-hour later, you just need to buy stocks again.
IF you run a huge Brokerage house like Merrill Lynch and get a $10,000,000 Bonus for ONLY losing $11 BILLION!
AIG: Another (cash) Incentive Given
The cookie is a lie.
But, I like the cookie!
*force feeds cookie to LB* There, you like that big man, do ya’, huh???
Look, lady, you can keep your BD/SM games to yourself… I am not into the forced-eating during sex thing. Now, forced sex during eating? That’s a whole different thing…
Prude.
Nah… There’s a reason the innuendo machine resides in my pants… a really big reason, at that!
You’re not an innkeeper by any chance, are you?
Hmmm… I can keep it in, if that’s what you’re wondering?
Great, b/c the last guy, Big Dick, only got it halfway in. What a loser.
Well, as I told B2F down there ˇ , a really big boat handles much better in rough seas…
Can’t be that big if there’s still room for the innuendo machine.
I didn’t think it was the size of the machine that mattered?
1. Maybe the pants are a little larger to accommodate.
2. B2F, the “motion of the ocean” theory applies to people who can’t produce the size.
Funny, my wife says the same thing.
Why, do you wear oversize pants, too?
This is the most entertaining thread EVER!
*munchity-munchity-munch!*
*sits next to Dragon*
What are we watching?
Hey, this could totally be true – hell, if I had some cash I would totally get in on the stock market now… cause its going to rebound, and then you just make money!
*Steals Dragonwriter’s Hot Buttered Popcorn and replaces it with “No Calorie Styrofoam Popcorn-Like Substitute with Imitation Synthetic Buttery Flavored Stuff” (so she can keep her svelte figure)*
*stuffs No Calorie Styrofoam Popcorn-Like Substitute with Imitation Synthetic Buttery Flavored Stuff down Skwerlly Bob’s where the potatoes don’t shine*
*steals back Hot Buttered Popcorn*
*munch*
Attagirl!
*high-fives*
I must say though… quit stealing my *(^*&%$ popcorn!!!
*swipes back*
LOL
It always cracks me up how possessive Shadow is of his popcorn.
Its the buttery goodness.. great for those lonely nights …
Technically, this IS a good time to buy into the market, since stock prices are down.
I keep buying, and the prices keep going down.
I’d buy that for a dollar.
I’ll buy that for $0.89
I don’t think Admiral will go down for that price. But there’s no harm in asking.
There’s no ask in harming, either!
Oh I would never harm with out asking first!
If you lose 1/2 of your Portfolio in the “Downturn”, where do you get the money to BUY while awaiting the “inevitable rise”?
That’s the trick, to have enough in reserve that you can still afford to buy during tough times. I did it for a little while, but can’t afford to buy any more. But when the economy comes back, the stock I bought at these prices will appreciate dramatically; that’s what happened during the last cycle.
Sadly, too many families overextend their debt and have no reserves to invest during these times. Americans need to learn how to live within means and save.
You pay yourself first. Some portion of each paycheck goes into savings. Some portion of savings goes into long-term investment.
Exactly, and I hope they stay down until around the middle of January. That way I can max out my IRA contribution for `09 and get quite a few shares for my 6G.
Actually, Who says this is not the time to buy. People got rich(er) buying up cheap stocks after the depression.
Keyword – “after”.
Yes, exactly. And, what has Doctor Who got to do with buying stocks after the depression? I thought his profession had more to do with time/space travel?
Considering that the stock market is a leading indicator, this is a tricky proposition. The recovery may happen in a very short time.
No no no..you’re supposed to add “in bed” to a fortune. That’s what they really mean.
The cookie would never get past my filter then!
You need to clear your cookies, then.
It’s “between the sheets”. Works in every fortune!
I too learned “in bed”, but my new favorite I learned recently is to add “with an axe”.
THIS IS THE LAMEST FAIL EVAR!!!111!one!
You, sir, are the failest lame evar!1!!1!1
Agreed.
WTF? How did you get your name upside down? Did you scan it on a mirror?
B2th has my mirror???? Damn. *gets out dollar and razor blade* I need it back, like NOW man…
laptop turned upsidedown, probably.
I just flipped my keyboard upside down and started typing.
¡¡sʞɹoʍ ʇı puɐ pǝıɹʇ ı
Stop that!! People walked into my office and asked why I was standing on my head. :/
Try telling them that yoga improves productivity.
¡səlzznd əsoɥʇ llɐ ɥsıuıɟ uɐɔ ı ʍou ¡ʞɹoʍ səop ʇı ¡dɐɹɔ ʎloɥ
˙llɐ ʇɐ ʇɥƃıɹ ʇı op ʇ,uop sʎnƃ noʎ ɥɥɥɥsd
truth.
i don’t get it – this isn’t a FAIL.
it MIGHT be a ticket to success.
just because the stock market is doing poorly doesn’t mean EVERY stock is going down. You just have to find the right ones.
OR
buy stocks now since they plummeted, and then wait for them to go back up in a few years.
Still, it might be a ticket to success.
Uh oh… I think you just killed Funny…
I just heard a *whoooooooooosh*!!
Buzz Killington, I’d like you to meet Sense O’Humour. I’m sure you two have a lot to discuss!
I don’t understand…..i fail at understanding fails…
Then the ENGRISH FUNNY site is right up your alley.
Well, then you’ve come to the right place, haven’t you? The paradox that IS failblog.
I accidenty the future!
Heres a card.
i was the first to post on this thread, but i refuse to reveal my real identity theft!
LOL, too funny dude. That must have been intended for one of the Big Wigs of Wall Street, The blood suckers getting the billion dollar free handouts for doing such a wonderful job! LMAO!
jess
http://www.online-privacy.cz.tc
Funny if they got that fortune a year ago, but actually not funny now because it’s true. Everyone who knows anything about the stock market knows you sell high and buy low. The market cannot go much lower. Now is the time to buy. You people act like the stock market is going to disintegrate and not exist anymore and any money you put into it will be lost. If you put money in it now you could easily increase your worth 10 fold over the next several years.
Joe, the thing is. If people have lost alot of shares cheaply because of the depression. Where are they going to get the money to buy more?
Maybe Rich people will be doing this, but for alot of people it’s too risky because they don’t know when exactly the stockmarket is going to start booming again..
Well if they don’t have any money to invest that doesn’t make it a bad idea, that just means they can’t invest in anything, good or bad. Also, we are not in a depression. At least for now, it is still officially a recession. Also, it is mostly “rich” people who had money in stocks that have “lost” a lot of money. If you’re poor, you’re not doing much worse off than you already were, unless you’re now unemployed because of the situation. At least 90% of the population is still employed, and most Americans, even in a recession, have so much disposable income that they spend on shit they don’t need that if they invested in the market instead they could stand to make a fortune, not to mention actually get us out of this recession in the first place.
It’s people spending beyond their means and lack of confidence in the market that have us in this mess. It’s attitudes like this, that the whole financial institution is doomed and you’ld have to be an idiot to put money in businesses that is perpetuating this situation. Now is the perfect time to buy buy buy. People would be helping themselves and helping the economy.
I would love to see a fortune cookie that says, “You like Chinese food.”
Or, “You just ate your cat.”
WIN!!
I once got a blank fortune.
Yikes! Does that mean you’re dead? Or that the possibilities are endless?
Nope, it means “Do absolutely nothing.”
Idk, works for most politicians.
invisible ink FTW
The people I was dining with said jokingly that I had no future. I told them it meant that I could write my own fortune.
Ooooh, I like that.
Hehe, nice.
Any idea if the person who had that invested anything in the stock market? I wonder how it turned out.
Acctually its the perfect time to be buying stocks right now.
Agreed. That fortune is true for investors now. Wall Street is having a sale!
some asian guy who typed that up is just laughing his ass off
that be me.
They never said which stock market.
Pfff! I once got one that said “buy more takeout.”
Wherz da fale?
i was wondering that too and i was about to ask but i just figured it out lol.. since anybody can give that kind of advice; the stock market obviously may be your ticket to success and may not be.. so it is a really stupid fortune cookie since it isn’t telling you anything at all
In bed.
HA!
I got this same fortune back in September lol.
I’m sorry, but this one is completely retarded for a fail at this point in time. Does anyone know what happens when you buy stocks when the market has essentially crashed? They go back up! You know what happens then? You make a lot of money. If people had kept their stocks during the depression, they could be billionaires quite easily. The same thing is happening right now (to a lesser extent, obviously).
Exactly! Finally, somebody around here gets it!
This is not a FAIL… it’s a WIN!
Stocks are on SALE!
“A simple rule dictates my buying: Be fearful when others are greedy, and be greedy when others are fearful.” -Warren Buffet
LOLZ AWESOMEZORZ FAILZ ROCK!!!!!!!!!1
i jut got a cookie that said that today
???
I hope he invested in Bear Stearns!
Grab your fail fortunes and come over to FortuneKookie.com
This is a really fun website where you can save your fortune cookie fortunes. Once registered on the site, you have the ability to save, edit and access your fortunes in one place and share them with everyone. You can enter your fortunes through the website or using your mobile phone. Fortunes will be visible to everyone at your personal URL. There is a Facebook app that lets you store and share your fortunes from your Facebook page. Don’t forget to also check out the fortune of the day!
the stock market is a ticket to complete failure.
i had a funny one where they spelled a word wrong it said,”your time is comeing” i should have kept it