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Does it include accident kids?
yes all uh-oh kids and kids that may not be yours
I’m a guy, so I’m guessing somewhere between 0-5
i’m a woman, and I’m guessing anywhere between 0 and 10. There were two that iI gave birth to, but I was never entirely sure they were MY kids…
If you gave birth to a kid, and you aren’t sure its yours, you’re doing something wrong.
or maybe something very right…
I’m not even really sure what I mean by that.
Though it sounded logical to me..
You guys attend the druggie-school…don’t you?
>.> mabey <.<
And they go to a certain bank… (sign sign pass)
No, gimme the keys, you’re, you’re, what?, oh, uh you’re to drunk to drive
so i have a birth fail?
Accidenty photoshop fail?
Hehe not necessarily, my mom is a surrogate.
“Hey guess what, my mom is pregnant and it isn’t my stepdad’s baby!”
“WHAT?!”
“Oh don’t worry, it isn’t hers either.”
HAHA, that conversation, whether it actually happened or not, just made my day! WIN!
Or it could be because maybe she has a man that cheats so much, she’s not even sure if the kids she gave birth to are hers.
I have no children. I dutifully use my picnic supplies.
*gets the potato salad*
*invites the vicar*
Sorry, that didn’t make sense, but the word “vicar” pops into my mind every time I hear “potato”.
Only way to clean your mind of that is going to the church and telling all about it to the vicar.
He will appreciate your sincerity (and maybe the idea)
Just be sure not to have any potatoes around.
And of course, he’ll really appreciate the potato salad.
Isn’t it that the vicar that was hanging up drapes nude and fell on a lightbulb?
*tosses the salad*
*tosses the salad*
*Tosses ErickB*—-out the widow of the speeding train.
The speeding train died? *cries*
And just what was ErickB doing in his widow in the first place???
This I reckon. . .
*SQUEEZE*
I was simply consoling the poor grieving widow.
(nests won’t comment below this level)
LOL!!!
IF YOU DONT KNOW IF THE CHILDREN YOU GAVE BIRTH TO ARE YOURS OR NOT THEN YOU ARE OBVIOUSLY A CRACK HEAD…HUNNY LAY OFF THE CRACK, YOUR LOSING YOUR MIND, OBVIOUSLY IF YOU GIVE BIRTH TO A BABY ITS YOURS YOU DUMB ASS..OR ARE YOU A TRANSVESTITE!!!?!
Caps fail, drug fail, spelling fail, grammar fail, exclamation mark fail, “your” fail, and EPIC FAIL.
I’m a guy too, and I’m bloody sure I haven’t given birth to any kids- that would hurt too much and only crap would come out anyway….!
Are accident kids the ones who are born after you shred your privates?
The choice of browser suggests fail to me.
dam, i was lookin for a good comment to reply to, to point this out, but you beat me.
I’ve given birth to three but my boyfriend cheated so I’m not sure the last one is mine.
*SQUEEZE*
Wouldn’t that be *MILK* ???
Depends what you’re trying to do.
I think he’s trying to *SQUEEZE THE MOOMIN!*
Is that the way MikeyD says *masturbates* ?? After all he IS the Moomin…
That doesn’t make any sence, if you give birth to it, its yours!
Unless you impregnate a loose egg that is later put in your womb..
Umm….
He’s right. Sometimes you impregnate a loose egg, and it’s actually a nut.
Oh, Fluffy, you’re just egging him on…
Omelet you take over.
You girls crack me up.
My brain is too scrambled right now to understand all this.
*checks stolen biology textbook*
Ummm, you girlies can’t impregnate eggs.
*reads more boring stuff*
Unless you count “parthenogenesis” or in a case where the female lab tech might be the one to during “in vitro fertilisation” or is the needle wielder during intracytoplasmic sperm injection (ICSI).
FOR SALE: Slightly used extra “or” at a Great Price. May be seen in the Comment above. You pick up and transport. Price Negotiable. Limited Time Offer!
I’ll but that for a dollar!!!!
I’m not sure I’d buT it at all, I might just buy it though. Skwerly, if the previous offer had a typing fail, can I get the or instead?
Yes, sinse yore offor dint has no typping fails,
you can haev it for $1.17 AND a Dinar.
I could pay you 100 Dinars. I could use it right now store it for when I need it.
But if you store your precooked Dinars, won’t they get moldy?
Reading fail, I thought that said you’d buy it for 100 Dinar. *goes for more coffee*
*gives Lunchbox a cookie*
you can only store “ore” & “oar” NOT “or” ; their half life is too short unless an extra vowel is used to stabilize them.
**gives loufail an “or”** there, now you have an extra for your comment ^_^
For those of you without a biology degree, “intracytoplasmic sperm injection (ICSI)” is a funny name for “popsie beverage”.
humor fail
sense of humor FAIL
and spelling, and grammar, and…wtf, egg on the loose!
loose egg? *Tosses Flix after ErickB*
“I don’t know who the baby mama is Maury, it could be any one of these beeches!!!!! harharharhar
Dang Mookie, that’s what I was going to say. That’s what I get for doing actual work.
Loan me some billable hours, wouldja?
I wish I could spare some but I have to make up time from Friday, I was a bit too slack.
“Slack” as in “drunk?”
does a C-section count?
Only as half a birth.
But the baby will be able to take down the evil king, because he was not of woman born, but from his mother’s womb untimely ripped!
And now we find ourselves awaiting yet another bell’s knell.
That’s the duff of legends.
… and either must die at the hand of the other for neither can live while the other survives.
Oooh! You’re doing pottery again! *grin*
literary reference to macbeth on failblog photo comments FAIL
Why?
Um…wow, how does one respond to that?
What if… I cannot give birth to children?
Then you probably haven’t given birth to any and should click the ‘none’ box
Probably should
You might have accidentally given birth. You never know in fail world.
OMG I accidentally 25 children!
You know, we could put a word in there that’ll get you arrested.
Then he would have to change his name to Virginia.
But, if it’s an accident…it’s not his fault, right?
OH I Accidentally obama. I a cow. This good.
Use verbs. then it will make since
Did you eat 25 children
making since? nice
I have been good since 1995 at speling
Making since sense 1995?
Hahahahaha. That made me wince.
Here. Have a quince.
Quinceañera?
Quince gatos en el barco?
OMG, Linguo’s head just exploded!
Spelling spelling fail.
Uh oh, you accidenty upset Loz…
Message to ALL New FAIL Blog’ers:
It is and always should be “ACCIDENTY” just like Mookie spelt it. But UNLIKE her you should NEVER put a VERB after.
The word “accidentally” is not a real word within the confines of FAIL Blog unless you plan to use “accidentally” as an adverb and use a verb after.
EX: I accidenty the potato- correct
I accidentally the potato- wrong
I accidenty sat on the potato- wrong
I accidentally sat on the potato- correct, but still wrong, unless you’re a vicar.
I accidenty accidentally. What should I do?
You should quick the whole “accidentally” into the.
accidentally.. potato pancaked 25 children?
What if I prefer not to say?
Then you have condemned all who sail on the failboat to eternal damnation sir. I hope you can live with yourself.
*wakes up*
*sleepilly squeezes the moomin*
*goes back to sleeep*
When did you two start sleeping together?
I was awake the whole time, it hurt when she fell asleep.
*cries*
*Doesn’t realize she took the moomin back to bed with her, fluffed the moomin, and is using him as a pilow*
Awww… now we can’t squeeze the moomin until she wakes up.
*squeeze something else*
Hee!
Um…yeah…I was “fluffing the moomin”.
*gives moomin back to the general squeezing population*
yay! *squeeze*
Does a moomin squeak like a cat toy when squeezed? Inquiring minds want to know.
It’s more a kind of “meep” noise. The more unexpected and sudden the squeeze, the shriller the meep.
I meep! Does that mean I’m a Moomin?
Do you have a very large schnoz?
Nope… but it is rounded.
Haven’t any of you seen “Junior”? With Ah-nold Szwartzeneger (sp?) Don’t think you’re above getting pregnant, men.
There is also that man in California who gave birth and is now pregnant again. I forgot his name.
His name is Christopher and he moved to Florida after the birth of his first daughter. He says they are more accepting there.
Yeah, about that…. didn’t anyone get the memo? He is a SHE, just hasn’t competed the gender reassignment process yet??? No NEW science to see here, folks. Move along please.
Well…I’d say that he is a he, but still has some of his girl-parts from when he was a she.
See?
Dr. Seuss, is that you?
I don’t know. I think if you still have enough girl parts to have a baby, then you’re still a she.
And she said “hey sugar – take a walk on the wild side”
Is that the truth or are you trying to (innoculously) stick it to me? My thinking muscle has a cramp from earler efforts.
Why I do that to you? *innocent look*
Well, I think Osama would have to estimate. Horny bastard.
Because he gave birth to children.
Haha! LOL I failed. Reading fail. Well, you know what I mean.
What exactly did you mean
Osama’s little secret just came out…
It’s not that he hates the infidels, it’s just PMS
PreMartyr Syndrome?
Post Mortem Stiffness
Probes Muslims Silently
(comments are not posting properly this morning!)
Potatoes Mar Sexlife?
Prefers Moomin Squeezing!!
*SQUEEZE!*
Postulates Martyrdom Salaciously.
Priapic Mental State
Please Mail Santa?
Pundit’s Mundane Solicitations.
Pissy Muslims Smell…?
Where’s the fail?
The fail is because giving birth is kidda a big thing…
You know the whole labor thing? Makes you remember that you’ve done it.
If it was “how many children do you have, again your best est” etc, then that would be win for lulz.
Well, my best estimate is 13.34 but i am really not sure
I think you’re supposed to round to the nearest tenth of a child.
Thank you, Poddar, you win an Internets.
That is exactly the thing. When I was taking this survey, it was like WTF?! Who the heck doesn’t know how many kids they’ve given birth to?!
Honestly, the survey offended me and in the open-ended answers I let them know that, and that I thought their multiple choices were idiotic. Especially this one.
Poddar, you’ve pretty much gotten my submission better than any other respondants so far. Thank you.
Birth IS a huge thing.
Not that it’s obvious from the post, but the screencap is from a survey about birth control of various forms. Perhaps I should not have checked off the “none” box before I did the screen cap, but there it is.
To imagine a woman taking this survey and not knowing the number of children she may or may not have given birth to is quite incredible. Especially if she doesn’t know.
“Windows Internet Explorer”
+1
LOL. Yes, that is fail.
web standards compliant
performant
multi-platform
lean
powerful
internet explorer
Pick five. Ok, next round:
Firefox
Safari
Opera
Pick one.
..Good, that’ll do.
BEHIND YOU!
Oh no it isn’t!
look in the mirror for the fail.
Clearly this is something you’ve had to do on a regular basis. lrn2condom
Well, let’s go pro-life. A egg cell fused with a sperm cell equals baby. So when you have a miscarriage (o god I must have really misspelled that, but please forgive my fail) you are actually giving birth to a person. Even if it happens after two days of pregnancy and you never knew you were pregnant in the first place. So…. let’s estimate all the way to Hell!
Miscarriage is spelled right, so is this a preemptive fail fail?
I’m so surprised I got it right. I fail at failing. So… win?
Just fail.
Thanks for that one
Win Fail!
Wear condom.
When giving birth?
No. When estimating how many children you have
lol, so while taking this survey you should strip off and put on a condom?
Thanks! Without this expert help I wouldn’t have known to do that!
Then Your estimate will be closer than ever!
The condom is the new thinking cap.
It WOULD keep the mess contained…
Logic Depot, a place where logic is stored. Sadly we forgot the key.
I accidentally the key
The whole thing? Call a doctor! And for god sake, stick a potato up there!!!
Er… the word ‘dropped’ is supposed to be in the sentence. You have such a dirty mind.
“The word dropped is supposed….”
*facepalm*
Lou, can you take over here? I need a moment.
*ushers Mookie out of the room and hands her a paper bag*
Breath into this, sweetie.. It’s going to be ok…”
But his/her fails are funny. She/he even missed the avatar from the URL!
I did!
O it’s her an she by the way. Full name is Bo-Ann. Pleased to meet you ( I hope you guessed my name, hoo hoo)
AAAAHHH, Lucifer!!!!
*runs*
WHERE?!
In the hoo hoo, apparently.
Stick a pitchfork in that potato…
Mmmm…I love the smell of brimstone in the morning!
*Fan’s Mookie like a 1830’s southern bell that’s prone to fainting*
*thwacks Christopher with the halibut*
Man…I’ve been wanting to do that for DAYS!!!
*grin*
Now gimme that superfluous apostrophe.
While my face is red in the shape of a flounder, and a distinct taste of shellac in my mouth, I’ve noticed that I’m no longer “THAT Christopher”. Woohoo!
btw I have no idea how I failed at this one. Must be an English language thing again. I have Engrish fails all the time, for the sake of lol. I apologize for my fail, thought I still don’t know what it is.
Don’t apologize! We’re very silly here and will laugh at anything.
LOL
You said LOL. ROFLMAO!
OMFGLMFAO, you responded to Marius!!!
*Laughs uncontrollably*
OMG your avatar is a cat-dog-thingy!!! You owe me a new monitor!
‘new’! My ROFLCOPTER goes SOISOISOI
Message to ALL New FAIL Blog’ers:
It is and always should be “ACCIDENTY” just like Mookie spelt it @6:01 AM. But UNLIKE her you should NEVER put a VERB after.
The word “accidentally” is not a real word within the confines of FAIL Blog unless you plan to use “accidentally” as an adverb and use a verb after.
Note: The December Word & Sentence Fragment Tag Sale has been postponed until January due to less f#ck-ups than expected.
*retracts bid on previously offered ‘or’ *
That’s a normal question. I know a girl who’s pregnant all the time. She gave birth to soooo many children she probably lost count. Some of those children aren’t even her! I used to date that whore.
some of them children aren’t even her?
whaaaa?
Yes, she was in a hospital they removed a child from her belly because that’s what doctors do when a woman is pregnant. They made DNA tests and sait to her: “Sorry this kid is not yours”.
So a baby that she gave birth to. wasn’t even hers. Oh crap! I smell Bullshit.
Yeah well it all happened in Poland
haha,
That can’t happen. Not unless she underwent that invetro (spelling?) thing.
But then, she’ll know that too.
I called her a whore for a reason you know
So, she’s a whore for having a baby for another woman that otherwise wouldn’t be able to raise a child?
What?? That’s stupid.
Her boyfriend cheated on her and then she had a baby that wasn’t even hers.
He did say “from her belly”. So I think it means she actually ate someone elses child, and they had to remove it, like a potato from a vicar!
So…much…fail on this thread…
*swoons*
*slides across the floor to act as a pillow to cushion her falling head*
Oooh…
*fluffs*
*giggles*
Yes, in order to give birth to a child you need to eat one first. That’s why democrats support aborion because they eat dead fetuses in order to have a baby.
*sigh*
If she didn’t know the father, then sure call her a whore.
Else man you are wrong.
or artificial inseminated
Invitro.
SHe didn’t know who the mother was
“Some of those children aren’t even hers”? What?
“whaaa?” Was a noise, not an actual word fool.
The first line was quoting above in a questioning manner.
Reading fail. He didn’t respond to you, stupid.
Fair point.
Fail.
“Some of those children aren’t even hers”?
How does she do that?
If you read closely, you’d see that he really said “some of those children aren’t even her,” which actually makes perfect sense, because how could her children be her. I think that we’re not giving Phaet enough credit.
but he said only SOME aren’t her…
dunh duhn DUH!
How about: “I lost count after 21″?
Then you busted. The dealer had blackjack anyway, so it doesn’t really matter.
NOOOO! The dealer told me the doctor gave him some penicillin and he didn’t have blackjack anymore! That lying bastard.
Should have got insurance.
Or at least played perfect pairs.
I bet “21″ was a lie too! (Unless it was cm)
*waves*
*squeezes while Dragon is sleeping*
I saw that!
*waves back*
I just now read your “great spoons of fire” comment from a couple of days ago! It was my weekend off and I was out Christmas shopping.
*SQUEEZE!!*
Yay! Hope you had a good weekend of shoppery.
I was happy an opportunity came to steal your exclamation so soon.
OVER 9000!
-K
I see what you did there.
Depends how many French ticklers, black mambos or crocodile ribs they had access to.
Those poor estimated children
First, they are estimated. Then, dropped in a trash bin. And them dumped out of the bin by angry squirrels. Most of them become Emos.
Large, flightless birds?
No, silly, they became a style in music.
It’s more of an un-style, wouldn’t you say? Or maybe an undead style…
Or maybe an unsmiling subculture…
Or, THIS guy..http://my.opera.com/velmu/blog/show.dml/453555
ISP Fail! (NetZero)
I like how the box is big enough to enter a 10 digit number. If the number you entered in this box looks like a zip code, you may be a redneck!
I think another part of you is more likely to be red, than your neck.
*nerd advise*
It’s also a user intreface fail, see, ‘none’ and ‘prefer not to say’ are mutually exclusive, wouldn’t make any sense to check both, but as there are checkboxes instead of readio buttons, they may be both checked.
What did you said about an user getting ‘prefer not to say’ in the face and getting ready to button?
Preggos?
*masturbates*
logic depot really does have some logic there
Best to purchase it in bulk.
Biology and Sex Ed fail. “masturbates” is generally NOT how “Preggos” happens.
Depends where your hands have been. *checks nails*
what if you make a really lucky shot? and there happens to be a naked woman nearby?
What’s the differnce between clicking “None” and entering “0″?
“None” means you don’t have children, but if you enter “0″ that means you have zero children.
Two clicks and three keystrokes?
Oooh…do that again… *grin*
Remember – It’s a uterus, not a clown car…
I remember this test.
-answer the questions to the best of your abilities. Please show your work.
1. # of kids you’ve given birth to.
2. name of cousin you’re married to.
3. # of gunracks you own.
4. # of confederate flags you have.
5. Anpu has all nine Zeppelin albums and three foxies. Also, Horus is a Chozo. Assuming Anpu listens to Achilles Last Stand and it’s raining outside, what method does one use to transform into a jackal-person-anubis thing?
Answer to #5: You need to get a Gibson SG doubleneck and plug it into a Hiwatt 50 amp during a thunderstorm while chanting “Metroid and Isis” as loud as you can. After the lightning strike you should be all good.
There’s a browser fail in there too with the NetZero and Epson add-ons.
Bowser always fails, Mario is much better!
Hey, guys, guys, don’t go to WARIO over your crappy BROWSER!
how many kids…uh…OVER 9000
Every sperm is sacred,
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite irate.
Every sperm is sacred
Every sperm is good
Every sperm is needed
In your neighbourhood
I love you
This reminds me to Monty Pythons “The Meaning of Life”
Come on let’s sing along:
Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite irate.
lyrics here:
http://www.lyricsdepot.com/monty-python/every-sperm-is-sacred.html
?!?
:-/
… shame on me …
2nd page fail!
Ha HA!
400 BABIES!
The real fail would be using Internet Explorer.
Lame.
My best gues would be under 500
IE7 FAIL.
The major fail here seems to be people hating IE.
Can you get over ppl not having the exact specs you have? Holy crap.
lol, “give your best estimate” Jolie might have a problem, she doesn’t know which ones are her’s
The person who took the screenshot failed as well. *coughinternetexplorercough*
I submitted this.
I hate Firefox. If this makes me a FAIL, so be it.
This survey I took was a major fail.
It was about Birth Control. It actually asked here if I knew how many kids I’d given birth to.
Try to enjoy the irony.
Maybe this is the Duggar version of the survey?
LOL! Thank you, that was kind of my thought when I submitted this photo. Like, Michelle Duggar’s nightmare, what if she didn’t recall how many kids she has?
6 estimated to the tenth.
I think the bigger fail is that people still use Net Zero
I have to add also, we do not use NetZero. We had that on there because when we visited my girlfriend’s mother, we had to use it temporarily since she doesn’t have the internets.
Gosh, some people just don’t want to simply laugh at stuff, it’s gotta be torn apart. Silly silly.
This looks shopped. I can tell from some of the pixels and from seeing quite a few shops in my time.
No, not shopped. I did print screen and copied it into MS paint.
This reminds me of that “American Dad” episode where she tells Stan about her bf…
“He hasn’t spoken to his father in years, and his mom ran away before he was born.”
o.O BIOLOGY FAIL!
Exellent post. You got some really good points there. Thanks for sharing.http://www.onepieceofmylife.com
Fake, Look at the text .