I don’t believe it.
I refuse to be branded a pervert by a troll. This is the last straw. I could cope with DrDr when she insulted me. Ditto with sausage. But thrice, well, that’s crosed the line.
Hell, I hope you find boredom in all things on this planet.
OMGWTFKFCBBQ Don’t taze me, bro!
…and I can NOT be the only one here that thinks that way…I hope *hides in closet* crap, that can be taken two ways too…and they’re both right.
WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK
I clearly work for Microsoft. It’s just hard to tell when BondFan is being sarcastic, and I really don’t want him like, going to therapy over this. *guilt complex*
Kanchou, a troll is someone who causes misery for everyone. The people I’ve listed are all annoying people who only go on failblog to post spam.
I’d rather you didn’t name me in such a Stalinist way.
I don’t mind if they disagree with me. It’s just that, most of the people who disagree with me cannot provide an intelligent debate.
Dude, grow up a little. If you can’t think up anything useful to put in your comment, the best course of action is to refrain from making a comment entirely.
hmm, in conclusion, i have realised i am dealing with highly intelligent people, that, however, do not watch herous on bbc 2 enough to realise that tazers only have one shot…
Re: greenarmy
“Tazers only have on shot”…not necessarily. They can still dry fire, which emits the same amount of electricity. They just have to make sure it’s in contact with the person being tazed. There’s only one CARTRIDGE per tazer.
*steps off soapbox*
Well. I have had issue with HHNF’s comments on occasion. But she seems to be improving… or at least posting more funny comments, fewer burns. Calling you a pervert was out of line, but one offensive comment does not a troll make.
(…I just realized I’m going to get a reputation for defending trolls. Joy.)
Somebody had to make the rational decision at espn to switch to that camera. I highly doubt it was someone in charge. I can totally picture someone in the room going “what the hell is the guy on camera 3 doing?” Then some jokester hit the button to switch it. Jokester win!!!
*preparing to self-fail* my adobe reader isn’t updated enough to view this video. Can’t upgrade as it is my work computer. Please enlighten me as to the content of the video.
Well, there’s 3 dead cats and a can of of fish eyeballs.
The guy is trying toss the fish eyeballs into the empty eye sockets of the deceased felines. When he does, he gets all excited that he “makes a ringer!”
*says somberly*
Thank you for this accurate summary of the video, but you failed to mention the part where Barack Obama comes in riding a unicorn shouting “CHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANGE!” and resurrects the dead kittehs, who then fly along side him.
gee, thanks, then a zombie came and bit the dead cat and it came back to life with all the fish eyeballs as it’s own and bit the guy as the camera man ran screaming…….
If he’s doing what it looks like he’s doing, then we can assume he’s doing it on purpose, in which case, isn’t this an epic WIN? He managed to crack one off not only in front of the thousands of people in the stadium, but also the dozens watching at home on cable, and a decade later, thousands of people on the Internet. We can be pretty sure he hit his target demographic.
Yeah, nothing like watching a field full of muscular, sweaty guys in tights with buttpads tackle each other, grunt and fight over balls…and score big time.
*thinks this would be a great way to get hubby to never watch football again*
Don’t forget the names of the positions like “tight end” and “wide receiver”. Every play starts with one guy in tights reaching between the legs of another guy in tights for the ball. During rallies, they slap each other on the butt and shower together.
I’ve said it before, football is the gayest sport ever.
the funiest thing ive seen on a football game(not a fan but some of my friends are) and his face is just priceless jajajajajaja the cameraman must have noticed that!!…
This is one of the funniest videos! … from 10 years ago…. But the look on that guy’s face still makes it hilarious!! The mullet helps a lot too. I thought for SURE someone played a great practical joke on him until I found out that this is common practice at american football (not soccer!) games.
o.O I keep thinking there has to be some rational explanation, like…he was just standing in a funny position and was shining the clapper of the bell and it’s all just an innocent act gone wrong by bad camera position. Judging by the things I’ve seen people do on this blog alone, however, I am pretty sure it’s as bad as it looks. Vaguely disturbing…
Yeah, this site is never funny…
Let’s go check if there are any actually funny sites, ok?
*opens door*
No, please, you go first!
*Closes door*
Problem solved.
Hey Crow, nobody understands everything and everyone can learn something. Failblog is a fountain of knowledge displayed in a fun and engaging style. I also tried ICHC and they are very nice there but it felt like I was having a stroke trying to puzzle out what they were saying.
I just love the intelligence and culture that abounds here. I admit I’m not a very cultured crow, but google is always around for those things I don’t quite understand. And I get to throw out a few snappy lines here and there.
I’m pretty good with the movie quotes, some of the song lyrics throw me off.
It’s usally the writers, literature, and historical references that I end up google’n.
I’m with you there! Before I started posting here, I chose one random subject per day to google and learn everything I could about it. That’s fun too! Someday I will control my ADD enough to do both. HA!
* 1 pound cubed beef stew meat
* 1 cup chopped onion
* 1 cup chopped celery
* 1/4 cup beef bouillon granules
* 1/4 teaspoon dried parsley
* 1 pinch ground black pepper
* 1 cup chopped carrots
* 5 3/4 cups water
* 2 1/2 cups frozen egg noodles
DIRECTIONS
1. In a large saucepan over medium high heat, saute the stew meat, onion and celery for 5 minutes, or until meat is browned on all sides.
2. Stir in the bouillon, parsley, ground black pepper, carrots, water and egg noodles. Bring to a boil, reduce heat to low and simmer for 30 minutes.
He is simply attempting to rally his school football team into a frenzy to win the game by using his magic man muscle as a mallet on this mettaallic device, goodness, I’m half blind in one eye and can barely see out the other and i can see this. *snickers*
I made a little image explaining it, just click my name to see it (For free!)
You can easily see that it’s totally plausible and it doesn’t defies any law of physics.
You looks like you are way too familiar with the “normal” physics.
The universe will not implode just because something defies YOUR view of the universe and physics!
Zurack, (I’m going to call you Zu Zu from now on, okay?) I believe what you mean is that your avatar is a cube placed on a triangular prism. 2 dimensional shapes and 3 dimensional shapes don’t mix together, so it’s good for things to either stay completely 3D, or completely 2D. So, which will it be: the cube and triangular prism, or the square and triangle?
You mentioned the name that must NEVER be spoken! Fer damn sake please don’t tell me you drew a pentagram whilst doing so. For surely we are doomed if that be the case.
Okay, if things are going to get messy, I’m putting myself in a huge rolling hamster exercise ball, with a light oxygen tank, and a scuba suit, and some milk and cookies. I’m going to need extra protection if the someone just brought back Mr. You-know-who.
I am really disturbed by the comments so far. I get the impression that everybody thinks it’s a bad thing to masturbate violently into a bell while standing on the field at a football game. Masturbation is completely healthy and natural.
You tell ‘em sista! Speak the truth! *Throws hands up in the air dramatically in a “Glory Me” pose* Now reciprocate! Reciprocate these puns that we have been laughing on the FAIL! We need to shout the glory of the FAIL, and hold the FAIL in the highest regard! So c’mon now, do the locamotion with me!
It’s funny how at the top of the previous page you were crying about how those big-bad Internet people were making fun of you, yet now you bestow your obviously superior knowledge by making an unkind comment regarding someone else’s intellect that you don’t even know. That is, unless you were being sarcastic.
I think you seem to not understand how we work here. We, the regulars, are bored beyond belief of the masturbators. So we tend to insult them when they sully our fun. After all, they have insulted us.
OMG, nobody has given the real story!! that football team is Texas Tech University, in Lubbock, Texas – my alma mater – and at EVERY game there is a guy ringing that BELL for team spirit! we have been doing it for many years!! yes, it was an odd camera angle, but that’s what ALL the bell ringers look like from that angle – he is holding the clapper and slamming it against the near side of the bell – makes the sound much louder.
Rock ‘n roll and brew, rock ‘n roll and brew
I know that you and I oh we got better things to do
I don’t know who you are or what you do, or where you go when you’re not around
I don’t know who you are, but you’re a real bell ringer for love
I don’t see what is so funny about this. Masturbation is perfectly natural. It’s healthy and helps the body to rid itself of retired sperm. He just decided to kill two birds with one stone and do it at a soccer game.
hehe.. priceless…
Yeah, I certainly wouldn’t pay to have him do that.
Not even with MasterCard?
MASTERCARD?!?!?!
*Masturbates*
MASTURBATES!?
*priceless*
Not that there’s anything wrong with that…
PRICELESS?!
*Masturbates*
Well, he IS from TTU. They have nothing better to do out there than count cows, admire their big hair, and … (ahem) ring bells.
PERVERT?!?!?!?!
*Ignores*
Coming from Bondfan?! *hypocrite* lol
I don’t believe it.
I refuse to be branded a pervert by a troll. This is the last straw. I could cope with DrDr when she insulted me. Ditto with sausage. But thrice, well, that’s crosed the line.
Hell, I hope you find boredom in all things on this planet.
waiting for the flame…
*sits back to watch the show*
Popcorn, anyone?
Babe, you can be sitting down on the job! That was your cue.
I’m not flaming her…! I actually think she’s pretty cool. Any woman who can do what she does for a living is okay in my book.
Plus, I don’t want her to beat the crap out of me.
Actually I lost track of who was dissing whom.
Oh, I’ll take some
*sits next to Dragon*
So, what are we watching?
porn
Really?!
Wait…surely this counts as showing pornographic material to a minor?
mom doesn’t care.
*drops down next to BondFan*
mmmm, please.
toss some here
*steals back popcorn*
Swiper, no swiping.
is that a reference to little einstiens? or one of those other
let’s-teach-our-kids-to-get-all-their-information-from-the-television
shows…
Dora, Dora, Dora the Explorer!
yes please
Ring-a-ding-ding!
Don’t mind if I do
*nom nom nom*
Pass me some!
Cockporn, anyone?
Ooo, popcorn! Thanks.
Oh, yeah. He looks like he’s havin a GRAND ol’ time, boy howdee!
Oh, yeah. xD Looks like this guy’s havin a grand ‘ol time! Boy howdee!
*tries to console BondFan*
*offers BFF a hug… and a hoe*
How parental of you…offer him affection, then make him work in the garden.
*gets a boner*
*masturbates*
Well now that someone has crosed the line make sure noone crosSes the line because then there will be trouble.
And when noone crosses the line, make sure that NO ONE else crosses it.
Now this is priceless.
You better watch out or you’re going to start finding yourself in all things in the planet
Win
Um, your moniker IS bondfan, which can and will be taken in two totally different ways. I seriously hope you’re joking.
I never thought about that possibility until you pointed it out.
Now I’m going to cry.
*uses bondfan’s tazer on hhnf* HA!
OMGWTFKFCBBQ Don’t taze me, bro!
…and I can NOT be the only one here that thinks that way…I hope *hides in closet* crap, that can be taken two ways too…and they’re both right.
I shall taze you bro! With pleasure
*tazes again, laughing maniacally*
That’ll teach you to mess with bondfan’s street cred!
BWAHAHA.
Street cred?
*laughs*
Yeah, I got street cred. Sesame street cred.
Can you see Narnia from in there?
Can you help my uncle find the doorknob? He’s been stuck in there for quite some time…
I would be lion to you if I said yes.
Aslan as you are in there, could you hand me a pair of earmuffs? Dragons have delicate ears that get cold very easily.
Witch ones do you want, the white ones?
No, the beaver-fur ones.
(Oh, lordy…)
Are you fauning upon your own pun?
nah, she has a Tamnus (sp?) of them
I can help the vicar with that potato….
maybe he doesn’t want to come out, he’s busy.
He so far in the closet he’s bumpin uglies with Mr. Tumnus.
Can you see Tom Cruise from there?
Naw, he’s cruising the streets in West Hollywood right now.
No, just the cage that he keeps Katie Holmes in.
No, just the bukkit I barf in when I see his face.
Just as long as you don’t use it to break the fish tank.
Can you see porn from there?
You dont know the history of Fail…I do!
GENIUS !
WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK
Can you see Albuquerque from there?
Welcome to the internet. You’re clearly new here.
trollin trollin trollin
Just got to keep on trollin
All daaaaaay long
wait you weren’t being a troll, you were just being a jerk?
*facepalm*
I clearly work for Microsoft. It’s just hard to tell when BondFan is being sarcastic, and I really don’t want him like, going to therapy over this. *guilt complex*
Be guilty!
*tazes again*
You are guilty of forcing me to realize the two possible meanings of bondfan’s name, which I did not want to realize.
*hides the duct tape*
*Recovers the duct tape, motions towards Dragon suggestively with aformentioned tape*
Exactly. bondfan either likes debt securities, or high-quality writing paper. We just can’t tell which.
(comments won’t duplicate below this level)
oh yes they will.
Exactly, bondfan either likes debt securities or high-quality writing paper. I just can’t tell which.
(comments wont duplicate below this level)
oh yes they will
Dang it! I guess they won’t.
When you WANT to duplicate a comment it won’t let you… *mumble* stupid random duplicate comment detector *mumble*
Failblog’s too smart for you, eh? Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
*does Edward G Robinson impression*
Oh hell. It DID duplicate even tho it said it wouldn’t. Failblog outsmarted me yet again.
*Pats fluffy*
It’s ok, failblog gets the best of us all sometimes.
suuuuure
DENIAL!!!!
…is right next to de Egypt.
Liar! You have liabetes lol
YOU KNOW NOTHING!
troll (noun) One who disagrees with or dares to criticize BondFan4518.
At least, that’s what BF seems to think it means.
Kanchou, a troll is someone who causes misery for everyone. The people I’ve listed are all annoying people who only go on failblog to post spam.
I’d rather you didn’t name me in such a Stalinist way.
I don’t mind if they disagree with me. It’s just that, most of the people who disagree with me cannot provide an intelligent debate.
i concur. wait. what are we talking about?
I love the smell of paradoxes in the mornin’.
cause by lunch they definitely have a stench to them that’s most unpleasant.
We’ll have to clear the smell, I’m afraid. The smell of hypocrisy and oxymorons is nauseating!
*opens a window*
Well that’s because both of them were performing surgery all morning.
i always thought that oxymoron sounds like a pimple ointment.
And where was non-sequitor?
ringing bells.
um, shut up?
Dude, grow up a little. If you can’t think up anything useful to put in your comment, the best course of action is to refrain from making a comment entirely.
hmm, in conclusion, i have realised i am dealing with highly intelligent people, that, however, do not watch herous on bbc 2 enough to realise that tazers only have one shot…
No, I’d rather shut down.
non-sequitUr, u gotta spell it right, srsly man, ur on teh INARWEB, uz gotta speel correctleh
Re: greenarmy
“Tazers only have on shot”…not necessarily. They can still dry fire, which emits the same amount of electricity. They just have to make sure it’s in contact with the person being tazed. There’s only one CARTRIDGE per tazer.
*steps off soapbox*
Well. I have had issue with HHNF’s comments on occasion. But she seems to be improving… or at least posting more funny comments, fewer burns. Calling you a pervert was out of line, but one offensive comment does not a troll make.
(…I just realized I’m going to get a reputation for defending trolls. Joy.)
Well, we already had the judge, jury, and executioner. BFF seems to be the prosecuter. I suppose somebody has to be the defense attorney
Can I just point out that this is failblog and not exactly a place I would go looking for intelligent arguments or discussions?
*attempts to provide intelligent conversation*
say, do you like bacon?
*fails miserably*
I have news for you.
That was not the burn of the week.
Try again.
Or rather, don’t try again.
Burn of the Week (noun) Not that comment.
Try again. Or even better, don’t try again.
NO NO NO
You’re thinking of “Masturcard”
Watching a Dumbass masturbate at a Football game….
PRICELESS
But do I have to give my Mastercard number to watch the full video, in higher resolution?
And the expiration, too, please. We’ll also check to make sure it’s not stolen.
okay! Is that a long-distance number you have there? Oh, from Nigeria? I’ll have to give you my checking acct too in case the card doesn’t work.
Don’t forget the 3 digit security code on the back of the card.
Also an exemplar of your signature would be most helpful.
And your mother’s maiden name and your hometown and the name of your first pet and your school mascot’s name.
Oh, and could you sign this Power of Attorney document. You know, just in case?
Oh, and while you’re at it, your social security number would be nice.
And club sauce!
“I’ve made a huge mistake.”
And my homework.
And your Stereo’s Remote would be nice as well!
Oh yeah, and a new vending machine please! Some dickhead has broken mine and I have no idea how it happened!
Too bad I duct-tape the undersides of crisp packets to the vending machine so it doesn’t dispense!!
MUHAHAHAHAHAHA
And your childrens children, if you dont mind…
Somebody had to make the rational decision at espn to switch to that camera. I highly doubt it was someone in charge. I can totally picture someone in the room going “what the hell is the guy on camera 3 doing?” Then some jokester hit the button to switch it. Jokester win!!!
I would like to have heard the off-camera comments from the control booth.
“HAHAHAHAHAHA”
“Who the!?!?! What the!?!?!?! Who did this?!? Swhitch to camera 6!! Switch now!!!!”
Somethin like that I’d presume.
I would think it would be a bit more colorful then that though. But the conversation before that as the realization of what it looks like sank in.
insert color throughout.
Also include the term “wanker”
and sprinkle the F word all over.
or perhaps “wanking”
KINGS OF LEON!!!!!!
Totally, Fail? I call that an epic WIN
i am ezzential to zee war effort, to polish zee brazz
Is this seriously the first time we’ve seen this?
The look on his face was priceless. Yes, the look on his face was priceless. That look, it was so… priceless!
so that’s why they’re called the red raiders…
man i guess thoses cheerleaders are hot
ACK! So embarassing!
oh, i know whats gonna happen now…
Nostradamus? Is that you?
hmm, actually i was expecting some “*masturbates*”-comments, but being held for nostradamus is fine with me
*nostradates*
*nostrilinguses*
How … wh … what happens there? What does it do?
*nauseates*
*nostalgiates*
Those two go hand in hand for me. Nauseous nostalgia!
I have seen what you are going to do there.
preconceptual win
haha, win.
Yes I Can.
Can you?
No.
*hangs head in shame*
But the bell ringer sure can.
That clip makes me wax sentimental…
Hmm. It made me sex wackimental.
It made me jack ornamental.
It made me lack elemental.
It makes my crack oriental.
Does your crack smell like fish?
*crickets*
*rickets*
Damn that s**t hurts.
no, live lobsters.
dont you mean crabs???
Makes me yack parental
Makes me hack prenatal
Makes me smack presidential.
Makes me pack elemental.
Makes me sack Delhi lentils.
Makes me wax existential.
Makes me lack sequential.
Makes me smack intercontinental
It made me black orgasmental.
*Masturbates some more*
It made me wack instrumental!
This guy is ANNOYING.
He’s only abusing himself…
abusing, that’s the word i was looking for
Spank the monkey?
stroke the one-eyed trouser snake?
pet the panda
For the ladies: Pattycake.
Double-clicking the mouse.
Petting the kitty.
ATCF!! Fancy meeting you here!
Lettin’ your fingers do the walking.
Hi katy!
*hugs*
Was there someplace else we should meet?
Ringing the bell.
Swinging on the dancefloor.
Im sorry Im just extremely exited
I think it made him whack sackonmetal
Yikes! That seems more painful than pleasurable. I guess some people have different tastes.
And you can improve it drinking pineapple juice!
Win.
… while he wanks under metal.
40 to 60 cm of sheet metal.
Win
He was certainly enjoying that!
Gives a new meaning to the phrase ‘bell ringer’.
Like that song “ring my bell”?
ding DONG
or “my dingaling, your dinaling, everybody playing with their own dingaling..”
In soviet russia, bell rings YOU!
in soviet russia, bell rings YOU!
… :[ wp ate my comment earlier…
i’m never giving my spare change to the bell ringers at my grocery store again if this is what they do with it when i leave!
Gives a whole new meaning to the phrase “Give ’til it hurts”.
Gives a whole new meaning to the phrase “Making a contribution”.
*makes contribution*
Gives a whole new meaning to the phrase “Saved by the bell”.
Gives a whole new meaning to the phrase “Getting the clap(per)”.
Only if you push all the way in and do it hard!
THat bell ringer is some kind of jerk-off.
Someone needs to cum overthere and give him a thing or two.
Considering what he is doing with his thing I’m certainly not giving him another.
Bu-dum-tish
He really should be doing that up in a tower…
At least into a towel
in boom town
I’d complain about the oldness, but that’s still probably the single best thing I have ever seen, so carry on.
So you’re saying this rings a bell?
Dude, don’t hurt yourself.
lol Is he doing what I think he’s doing?
He is doing what you think he’s doing.
*preparing to self-fail* my adobe reader isn’t updated enough to view this video. Can’t upgrade as it is my work computer. Please enlighten me as to the content of the video.
Well, there’s 3 dead cats and a can of of fish eyeballs.
The guy is trying toss the fish eyeballs into the empty eye sockets of the deceased felines. When he does, he gets all excited that he “makes a ringer!”
*says somberly*
Thank you for this accurate summary of the video, but you failed to mention the part where Barack Obama comes in riding a unicorn shouting “CHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANGE!” and resurrects the dead kittehs, who then fly along side him.
And then the astronaut bought a new set of mini blinds.
And they were overpriced and wouldn’t fit ANY or the International Space Station’s windows.
well, let’s try the windows in my space station… I love over priced blinds. I sell them on the weekend and make a heafty comission
and the submariner bought a new screen door and invited you to dinner on the deck….
And then they show the whole thing in slow motions.
*grabs superfluous S before she gets stabbed by red pens*
*pokes fluffy*
I lol’d.
gee, thanks, then a zombie came and bit the dead cat and it came back to life with all the fish eyeballs as it’s own and bit the guy as the camera man ran screaming…….
We’re on to something here.
Somebody call George Lucas
Sorry, but you’re not very good at that…
Too Predictable
Too Trite
Too Many “and’s”
No, that didn’t happen. If you didn’t upgrade your video player, don’t just guess or you’ll look like a fool… The zombie didn’t show up til the end.
And then the cameraman was struck by a purple buffalo, which
it turns out had descended from heaven. Then George Forman
advertised some grills.
shit! how did you know that with a failing computer! genius!
He is ringing a bell?
He was doing what you think he did.
hmm, ringing a bell?
So that’s what you young’ns are calling it now.
And you thought the song ring my bell was about ringing a bell.
P.S. I do not know if that’s the title of the song but it is the majority of the lyrics I remember.
Sorry never listened to Disco, makes me retch.
It is wretched.
My ding-a-ling! My ding-a-ling! I want you to play with my ding-a-ling!
Now that one I remember!
Or maybe that was my high school gym teacher. Dunno, it was quite a while ago.
If he’s doing what it looks like he’s doing, then we can assume he’s doing it on purpose, in which case, isn’t this an epic WIN? He managed to crack one off not only in front of the thousands of people in the stadium, but also the dozens watching at home on cable, and a decade later, thousands of people on the Internet. We can be pretty sure he hit his target demographic.
Yes he is jerking of publicly at a football game and the bell is merely a censorship device.
Damn FCC
OK! No more cowbell!
WIN
He’s trying to shake off one of those live lobsters.
…ow.
You’d rather he was doing that without the bell?
He’d rather he was doing that without the bell… and with Khaaaaaaaaaaaan!
In the battle between watching him do that and having him do that to me, I choose the live lobster.
NO!
I gotta FEVER!
And the only PRESCRIPTION
IS
Fish Eyeballs?
YES!
Hey noodlehead!
*whispers*
Come’re dude, listen… I know a guy over in the Aquaculture Lab, he has some really really fresh ones, you know *wink* for the right price.
Hey buddy, you want buy organ? This X-ray eye. See through anything.
LOL!
That was good, I rofled.
Wow, I’ve LOLed, but never ROFLed. It was so funny it made you weak in the knees?
No, just round heels.
Yeah, nothing like watching a field full of muscular, sweaty guys in tights with buttpads tackle each other, grunt and fight over balls…and score big time.
*thinks this would be a great way to get hubby to never watch football again*
or maybe a great way to spice up the bedroom
lol, a reverse Ross with you in the middle? Could be fun *wink*
I’ll get the potato!!!
I’ll get the tomato.
I get to toss the salad!
I’ll toss you…
onto my bed!
*wink*
Be careful, don’t want to spill the dressing.
I’ll spill your dressing..
^_^
And I didn’t even have to ring the bell.
Don’t forget the names of the positions like “tight end” and “wide receiver”. Every play starts with one guy in tights reaching between the legs of another guy in tights for the ball. During rallies, they slap each other on the butt and shower together.
I’ve said it before, football is the gayest sport ever.
the best part is he starts smiling at the end.
smiling? more like grinning like he’s winning…
lol, i think thats y i cant stop laughing lol, it just finishes the video
This isn’t funny. That poor chicken.
Anyone for a chicken dance?
Nah.. But chicken limbo works well!
*gets out the limbo pole*
*gets out the stripper pole*
*gets out the barber pole*
*gets out the snow shovel*
*strips in Home Depot vest*
actually.. I need to dress in Dunkin Donuts clothes.. Workin for a few hours. Love all!
Time to make the donuts…
yeah.. not fun… hell, I think this guy is having more fun then i did at work..
>.<
*drools* Strippers AND Dunkin’ Donuts?
Now that’s a WIN!
*gets out the sniper rifle* It’s Saturday night, time for some fun.
*somehow cocks the gun shotgun style, just for effect*
So that was your daughter then?
Quite the little artist isn’t she?
It’s a friction addiction.
Oh… My… Freakin…. GOD!
GROSS.
KANDEMOREEEE HELLOW FROM CATALONIA ” BARCELONA “.
salut!!!
the funiest thing ive seen on a football game(not a fan but some of my friends are) and his face is just priceless jajajajajaja the cameraman must have noticed that!!…
riiiing my beeeeeeell ring my bellllll, ding dong dinga dinga ding dong
Let Freedom RING!
He probably “rang” all over the place.
He’s very patriotic!
and very hard on the bell!
Now we know how the Liberty Bell got cracked. Pass must have been really rough on it.
Oh, just Stow it.
I want to make a joke involving “Hancock”, but it simply isn’t coming.
I knew you would chime in.
Well she does have appeal.
Philada peal if you ask me.
Waall, ain’t ya’ll jest a cute lil’ filly now.
Dammit…all these bell puns and the Admiral isn’t here!
Anyway, this guy really has the handstroke down, doesn’t he?
Sorry I wasn’t here to carillon with everyone.
I’m just passing through before calling it a night. Dragon, we’ll resonate on another thread soon.
*tintinnabulates*
Or him and Stowe fought over it…
Oh, do they do that instead of Gatorade these days?
the skin must be worn away by now.
It’s probably just a leathery nub by now, calloused by years of pub(l)ic bell-ringery.
Not really. The hairy palms are soft on the foreskin.
Beat That Bell, Bitch! lolz
This is one of the funniest videos! … from 10 years ago…. But the look on that guy’s face still makes it hilarious!! The mullet helps a lot too. I thought for SURE someone played a great practical joke on him until I found out that this is common practice at american football (not soccer!) games.
It’s not a mullet. A mullet is specifically a haircut that is short on top and long on the sides & back. The guy in the video just has long hair.
o.O I keep thinking there has to be some rational explanation, like…he was just standing in a funny position and was shining the clapper of the bell and it’s all just an innocent act gone wrong by bad camera position. Judging by the things I’ve seen people do on this blog alone, however, I am pretty sure it’s as bad as it looks. Vaguely disturbing…
Uh oh. I must be misunderstanding you. Are you contending that he is actually… um…??????
Why yes, yes he (or she) is. And I say let him (or her)!
There’s no merit in that contention.
And there’s no clapper in that bell!
Well at least not anymore.
Whatever bell you jerk off with, you jerk off with everybody that has ever jerked off with that bell. So practice safe … whatever that is.
“I got to give that bastard or bitch a piece of my mind or penis.”
ohhh Petah!
There you are! Those pilots from a few days ago were looking for you!
She
No, but s/he could have. S/he could have been a contender!
Yeah, this site is never funny…
Let’s go check if there are any actually funny sites, ok?
*opens door*
No, please, you go first!
*Closes door*
Problem solved.
*Directs Merit over to ICHC*
Here, they play nicey-nice over here.
But you’ll never be able to understand a damn thing they say.
*is ashamed to admit that in order to understand what they say, I have to try and read it aloud*
*sigh*
I stopped reading the comments. They are very sweet and nice over there, but…yeah, the comments make my head asplode.
I like it here!
It is decidedly more fun here. This is most certainly true.
I find it much more enjoyable here. At least I can read all the comments, althought sadly I still sometimes don’t always understand.
Hey Crow, nobody understands everything and everyone can learn something. Failblog is a fountain of knowledge displayed in a fun and engaging style. I also tried ICHC and they are very nice there but it felt like I was having a stroke trying to puzzle out what they were saying.
I just love the intelligence and culture that abounds here. I admit I’m not a very cultured crow, but google is always around for those things I don’t quite understand. And I get to throw out a few snappy lines here and there.
I have to keep Google and/or Wikipedia up most of the time. Especially for movie quotes and song lyrics!
I’m pretty good with the movie quotes, some of the song lyrics throw me off.
It’s usally the writers, literature, and historical references that I end up google’n.
Hee…!
I likes to keep you on your toes.
Hey I’m always game to learn new things. Every day you learn something new is a day well spent!
I’m with you there! Before I started posting here, I chose one random subject per day to google and learn everything I could about it. That’s fun too! Someday I will control my ADD enough to do both. HA!
Browser fail- It won’t show the picture.
Since there was no picture, that was a browser win.
Browser Fail Fail: It’s a video.
Its a video of a bell ringer masturbating at a football game. The bell blocks his hand and what his hand is touching.
I didn’t believe it at first but then I saw his leg shake and he smiled. Very disturbing.
What’s all the fuss? He’s clearly just waxing the clapper.
The fuss?
He’s lubing the smacker.
Then can you explain his smile? I wouldn’t smile if I continuously banged a clapper.
OK, I lol’ed to all three of youse.
i don’t know. waxing just sounds painful to me.
Wax on, Wax off.
*cringes*
Now show me sand the deck.
BEEF NOODLE SOUP
INGREDIENTS (Nutrition)
* 1 pound cubed beef stew meat
* 1 cup chopped onion
* 1 cup chopped celery
* 1/4 cup beef bouillon granules
* 1/4 teaspoon dried parsley
* 1 pinch ground black pepper
* 1 cup chopped carrots
* 5 3/4 cups water
* 2 1/2 cups frozen egg noodles
DIRECTIONS
1. In a large saucepan over medium high heat, saute the stew meat, onion and celery for 5 minutes, or until meat is browned on all sides.
2. Stir in the bouillon, parsley, ground black pepper, carrots, water and egg noodles. Bring to a boil, reduce heat to low and simmer for 30 minutes.
Thanks! I was hoping I could get a decent beef noodle soup recipe on failblog today!
ADHD fail…
*is slightly annoyed* More like ADD fail. And even more than that, randomness win. I find myself wondering what tomorrow’s recipe will be.
I’m hoping it’s veal scallopini.
It doesn’t get better than that.
That’s not what he’s hoping.
heehee…that’s dirty. I feel dirty now.
I have some soap for that.
Screw the soap. I’ve got Orbit Gum!
*grin*
Well, it would be easier to take the soap out than the potato so I might just do that….
*ding*
sparkle,sparkle,sparkle
He is simply attempting to rally his school football team into a frenzy to win the game by using his magic man muscle as a mallet on this mettaallic device, goodness, I’m half blind in one eye and can barely see out the other and i can see this. *snickers*
Except it’s a Navy football game… which is college…
But yeah I see your point.
He needs a chicken.
He had one.
It.. Choked.>.>
If you ring it more than a couple times…you are playing with it
If you play with it more then a couple times…
Then what?
You tire your hands?
Nope. If you play with it for more then a couple times.. You’re trying to get off…
*innocent*
Off of what? *Blink Blink*
It’s mine and I’ll ring it as fast or as slow as I want too.
* dies * I haven’t laughed so hard in a while…classic
Is there an explicit version of this anyways?:D
My heavens, he’s like a rabbit!
And you would know this … why?
FAIL blog fail — my comment wasn’t posted for some reason. Trying again…
And you know this … why?
yes but it involves the clapper in another orifice.
Clap on, Clap off!
Man that bell must get around.
Im goin to ring my bell right now…
Wash your hands when you are done.
And for dogs sake, zip up afterward will ya?
This is the first FAIL that REALLY made me laugh!
(I usually don’t laugh even if it’s funny, so yeah, that’s special)
What’s wrong?
You ignored my comment just because it’s not:
A) A joke?
B) Sarcastic?
C) Trolling?
D) Stupid?
E) Debunking?
Now I’m sad
.
I thought your comment was photoshopped.
F) Boss walked in.
G) Is still holding a grudge ‘cuz you stole Mikey’s moomin.
(Just kidding!
)
H) It’s not my fault that he is my evil twin brother! I cannot change what I am!
I) Because that really is a button, and not a cube.
H) *Pushes RED BUTTON*
*Universe collapses*
It’s not a button. :,(
What is it then?
It’s a red cube!
It looks more like a pyramid with a black base to me.
I guess you need some basic geometry lessons then, because obviously it’s a cube!
*pauses*
Sorry, feeling really tired now. What was I thinking?
That is a cube!
So what’s the black stuff it’s on?
It’s a triangle!
A cube on a triangle? What, perched on top of it? Surely that defies the Laws of Physics?
I made a little image explaining it, just click my name to see it (For free!)
You can easily see that it’s totally plausible and it doesn’t defies any law of physics.
Can’t be a triangle, as they are only 2D objects, whereas a cube is a 3D object. So BF4 must have been correct and the universe will implode in 3…2…1…
You looks like you are way too familiar with the “normal” physics.
The universe will not implode just because something defies YOUR view of the universe and physics!
Looks like*
Not “You looks like you”, meh that’s what happens when you change your mind and type something else…
The universe implodes?
Zurack, (I’m going to call you Zu Zu from now on, okay?) I believe what you mean is that your avatar is a cube placed on a triangular prism. 2 dimensional shapes and 3 dimensional shapes don’t mix together, so it’s good for things to either stay completely 3D, or completely 2D. So, which will it be: the cube and triangular prism, or the square and triangle?
Or the mouse and the mask.
What?
Oh, sorry. With all the DANGER DOOM talk of universes imploding going on, I must have gotten confused.
Nooo! It’s a cube and a triangle! 3D with 2D! It’s not impossible and here is why:
Bing Bing Bong
Bong Bing Bing
Bong Bong Bong
See? Do you understand now?
*Colon perferates*
Semi-colon defecates.
F) You only gave them 20 minutes to find a comment buried near the bottom of the page.
You only have 1 minute to reply to this comment.
If you don’t reply, you are a green-faced liar.
Up to 30 minutes now!
Um, it had only been 18 minutes. Switch to decaf.
agree
I concur.
Looks like Mr. sausage has compotition!
i misspelled “competition”
*grabs gun and points to head*
You mentioned the name that must NEVER be spoken! Fer damn sake please don’t tell me you drew a pentagram whilst doing so. For surely we are doomed if that be the case.
Don’t worry I drew a star…
Oh God…..
Well that tears it. Break out the rain gear.
Dammit.
*covers self in plastic wrap*
Don’t forget your rain boots, it’s gonna get deep.
Oh, I always have my boots. In fact, I’m not sure I even own a pair of regular shoes anymore…but I have some kick-ass boots!
Well it ain’t exactly a spit polish that they are going to be getting.
I leave you guys for an hour and you resurect Mr. Sausage?
Hoo boy, better fetch the biohazard suits.
Oh, and have your witty comments at the ready.
Witty comments for M.Vienna? Isn’t that overkill by %200.
Oh, sorry, I forgot. For this type of troll, we need disdainful comments.
Okay, if things are going to get messy, I’m putting myself in a huge rolling hamster exercise ball, with a light oxygen tank, and a scuba suit, and some milk and cookies. I’m going to need extra protection if the someone just brought back Mr. You-know-who.
*whispers to BFF*
Here, kid, take this ‘r’…just don’t tell anyone, ok?
Bend over and I’ll show you rain gear.
And now you conjure up gasman? Better break out the machetes.
*Breaks out in machetes*
Dude! Quick, before it spreads, use this stuff, it’ll help.
*Hands BF4 the oxymoron ointment*
*Breaks out in tourette’s*
WHY ARE WE ALL SCREAMING?!?!
Damnit, you’re right. I thought that was Mr. Sausage, but I was wrong.
It’s ok, he drew an octogram, it’s like a pentagram but with 3 more sides.
That IS Mr. Sausage…
I am really disturbed by the comments so far. I get the impression that everybody thinks it’s a bad thing to masturbate violently into a bell while standing on the field at a football game. Masturbation is completely healthy and natural.
You are all such prudes.
Must be that puritan upbringing. We’ll try to do better next time.
So, by the evidence that you bestowed upon us, you like people that masturbate in public?
I am really disturbed by your comment
Well, it depends on their sex and physical appearance
Strangely enough, I’m more disturbed by public masturbation than public sex. Weird
Don’t ever go to Magic Kingdom with me then.
Something about the teacup rides just does it for you.
“Going to the Magic Kingdom” sounds like a euphamism.
Do you ever saw both?
Wow, AT THE SAME TIME?
Know what I saw?
.
wood
I guess you never expected to see wood during this occasion!
After that guys workout I’m sure all that was left would have been
splinters.
Woo! Public tintinnabulation!!! How deviant!
Oh wait…the Admiral and I do that all the time.
dammit, stop using vocabulary words
Pfft. As if. Every word is a vocabulary word.
You tell ‘em sista! Speak the truth! *Throws hands up in the air dramatically in a “Glory Me” pose* Now reciprocate! Reciprocate these puns that we have been laughing on the FAIL! We need to shout the glory of the FAIL, and hold the FAIL in the highest regard! So c’mon now, do the locamotion with me!
*I meant to say lacking, not laughing.
I am disturbed by your failure to pick up the sarcasm dripping from that comment.
Unless…
Unless you too were being sarcastic…?
Oh, my brain is wobbling.
I think the fail isn’t the bell ringing, its the fact he goes to Texas Tech.
GIG EM AGGIES
Fail amusing double meaning. Especially when the amusing double meaning was intended by the people in the picture/video.
Failblog fail.
Not so much a fail as a Bell F*cker WIN!
Bell F*cker? Is that what Watson called Alexander Graham Bell after he called him while he was on the loo?
Then he got off of Loo and answered the phone.
Why was that man fisting that poor bell?! D:
Trying to ring up some interest.
I guess the tone he was going for was quasi modal.
Quasimodo?
*hunches back*
Hmmmm. That name rings a bell.
The bells? THE BELLS?!
Their ringer failed.
fap fap fap fap…
Your screen name matches the approximate weight of your brain.
It’s funny how at the top of the previous page you were crying about how those big-bad Internet people were making fun of you, yet now you bestow your obviously superior knowledge by making an unkind comment regarding someone else’s intellect that you don’t even know. That is, unless you were being sarcastic.
“yet now you bestow your obviously superior knowledge” I think it points like this, people stop taking what you say as an insult.
DAMMIT! at*
Sarcasm identification fail
Spelling fail
I think you seem to not understand how we work here. We, the regulars, are bored beyond belief of the masturbators. So we tend to insult them when they sully our fun. After all, they have insulted us.
Masturbation = sully?
I think someone needs to get out more.
Or stay in more, whichever will get you more…. exposure, lol
ba doom CH!
haha
I wonder how much they payed the bell to do that.
You are not going to rope me into that one.
Never send to know for how much the bell tolls; It tolls for free.
You SO win.
*grin*
Marius has donne it again!
Recording NFL games with the express written permission of the NFL and ABC fail!
College football fail!
It’s like he looked up at the screen, realized what it looked like, smiled and went harder. Awesome.
OMG, nobody has given the real story!! that football team is Texas Tech University, in Lubbock, Texas – my alma mater – and at EVERY game there is a guy ringing that BELL for team spirit! we have been doing it for many years!! yes, it was an odd camera angle, but that’s what ALL the bell ringers look like from that angle – he is holding the clapper and slamming it against the near side of the bell – makes the sound much louder.
You mean there is a guy masturbating next to the bell at EVERY game? For TEAM SPIRIT? Wow!
And he knows how to masturbate much louder?! Double wow!
Masturbatory WIN!
lol
i think he just came
I just came
here have a tissue
I hope he didn’t include this on his audition video for Salvation Army.
He did not just do what I think he did on live TV…
That guy had to be fired.
The person who switched to that view, that is.
And what about the guy masturbating in a public place?
lol guys dont make fun of him he thought it was a good enough game to ejaculate to
Jingle balls?
Hey I think that guy actually rings a bell….
I’m not sure if I liked the comments or the video more. It’s kind of a toss up.
He looks so enthusiastic! xD
That’s gotta be the most priceless video I’ve ever seen here…
Fapping tiem!
Masturbation? In my bell?
Rock ‘n roll and brew, rock ‘n roll and brew
I know that you and I oh we got better things to do
I don’t know who you are or what you do, or where you go when you’re not around
I don’t know who you are, but you’re a real bell ringer for love
he keeps touching his ding ding dong
Shaun White, yer doin it right!!!
Heh, I got to TTU currently the clip they got of that guy at the TTU vs. Texas game was funnier
. Btw, the saddle tramps are the one’s that do that.
Lol it looks like he’s masturbating!
Really? It looks like he’s ringing a bell to me. But, then again, I see the strangest things in some videos…
Wow, thanks for letting us know! Huh.
giggidy
fastest hands of all time
don’t you people have jobs?
He’s got a hand job.
500th comment
Um…
*masterbates*
Super!
I don’t see what is so funny about this. Masturbation is perfectly natural. It’s healthy and helps the body to rid itself of retired sperm. He just decided to kill two birds with one stone and do it at a soccer game.
i mean a football game.
hahaha and he looks soo happy!!!!
omg this has got to be the funniest thing i have seen in a looooooooong time…the look on his face just makes it even better
I am not TOUCHING that bell!
fasturbation?
Fasturbation= masturbating quickly?
Not a fail in my book. He’s just trying to do his job.
who masturbates into a bell? HONESTLY!!!!!!!
(little Austin Powers humor
)
That’s what I thought it always looked like. It’s nothing new to me.
He is polishing the bell. I know it!
i cannot watch this without laughing
HA guh HAHAHAHAHAAHA NUB
Somebody should make a .GIF of this.
Public Masturbation….. Win?
Could be worse, his head could ring a bell.
It’s the smile he gives at the end. That just really puts it over.
well, he certainly appeared to be playing with the ding-a-ling, just not the one he was supposed to be playing with…
I think I know that guy!?..
lawl, dats hella disturbing, him smiling like that while he’s doing it
LOL, I’m not that perverted, but still I find this very funny and amusing. Man, that guy just loves to beat it off huh?