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FIRST!!!!!
HAhahAHAhaHAHAAHHAHA I MADE IT I F*** MADE IT AFTER ALL THOSE YEARS!!!!!!
Toast, please.
umm, I’m not sure if that’s allowed here didn’t u see the sign?
I don’t think he did see the sign.
And we have ways of enforcing out breakfast restrictions…*pulls out loaf of bread hardened and then formed into the shape of a truncheon*
Crap! It’s the baguette o’ justice! Flee for your lives!
*runs*
Get a grip!
Great, that’s another idiotic moron on the pile. *tosses*
umm…idiotic moron?
and now you realize how worthless your life is
Get a hold of yourself man!
I sure he’s already pulled out the lotion to celebrate AFTER he finally got the #1 spot.
It puts the lotion on its skin…
*hides from pob*
Ooo! Are we playing hide and seek now?
Hide the salami.
I’ll get the hose.
I’m kinda sorry for his dog.
Yeah… poor thing ate all those mushrooms…
*gets a hold of self*
*masturbates*
*starts filming*
*pulls out ’shrooms*
You are mean to me
You noticed?
Wash your hands please.
*tazes*
in breaking news noodleguy has tazed himself while attempting to apprehend another “first” offender, full story at 11
You appear to have forgotten that I am invincible when it comes to tazing, due to my noodly exterior. Note: not invincible when it comes to small dogs on moonlight nights.
*recovers from the brief setback, and tazes Mike* bwahahaha
*goes for a ride*
Again, I found this at the bottom of the page, and I don’t think it belongs there.
Then again, I could be wrong.
No, you aren’t wrong, I went on a ride too. Just like a rollercoaster — All the way from the bottom to the very top!
Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!
Chiair!
Found WHAT? *looks* *sees nut ‘n honey*
[Oh, did you find my blog comment?]
Yep, I just found out about participating in one of those last week. I still need to look into it.
You aren’t wrong, and I don’t believe it is at the bottom of the page. It shows up as a reply to H.B. on mine.
It was at the bottom of the page as I see it for both of my replies. It is now where it belongs.
*Blocks out the sun and drags the moon out of hiding*
*Lets loose my Papillon / Beagle mixed hyperactive dog*
Sick ‘em, Sweet P.!
How do I go about obtaining a purebred Papillon/Beagle dog?
First you Get a Papillon, which is French for Butterfly, and a Beagle and you get them to fall in love with each other…
It’s kinda like the Birds & Bees! The Butterflies & Beagles is different, more beautiful and more delicate, but you’re more likely to be bitten than stung.
The dog and butterfly <3
The Diving Bell and The Dog?
Papillon is also a breed of dog. It was named so because it was discovered in France, and it’s ears are very large, so they look like butterfly wings. Hence, Papillon, the butterfly dog.
*Nonchalantly removes apostrophe from it’s*
How Your Dog Blinks?
*blink*
FAIL!
mmm… I like the bread with bread.
you win at life.
Prison cafeteria?
No water is offered.
No, only melted ice.
Which works just like water.
Safety Not Guaranteed
Yeah, they stopped serving water after the budget cuts. Sometimes you just have to look at the things you’re spending your dime on and wonder if it’s worth the extra money to drive down to the sewer and haul it back in a bucket, no?
u seem to have an incriminatingly intricate knowledge of prison cafeterias…
<__>
Shit…
Face fail. Goddamnit.
It’s ok Shadow *hugs*
*hug*
It’s ok shadow, you made a bukkit! … kinda…
How apropos!
Hmmm, I do enjoy bukkits
Breakfast in bread?
bread ‘n’ breakfast?
Nope. Just Bread ‘n Bread.
what about breadfast?
This place gives good bread.
they knead to advertise more.
Come on people, stop loafing around and get to work in this (b)un thread now.
At yeast you know we’ll rise to the occasion.
Unless we make a mistake and something goes a-rye
We’ll get this thing roll(ing) soon enough.
At yeast we’ve made a start.
A toast to you.
I think we’re playing with an unleavened playing field here.
I’d point out Shadow’s repeat, but I don’t want to sourdough the mood.
Nah, we’ve got these puns in the bag(uette).
POB, you’ve soured the mood already. I’m going to slice you to pieces.
Chibatta-bing batta-boom.
ciabatta*
I believe you spelt that bread wrong.
If I had a (pumper)nickle for every time I did that….
I pita the fool…
I must get going, I told a friend I’d popover to her place to return something.
That pita is rather naandescript.
You’ll crumb back, right?
You seem very quick to scone my puns Admiral. Is there a problem?
You seed to have taken my comment the wrong way. Please, grain and bear it. I was merely pointing out the similarities between those bread shapes.
I guess he spelt your comment unkneaded.
*good to see ya AA*
Sorry… I didn’t bake the connection. I won’t be as defensive next time.
Rye are we arguing? Baguette making more bun-puns!
I challah tempt to be more clear, Shadow.
It’s good to see you, too, Marius.
I focaccia how difficult these can be.
*POUNCE!*
…Sorry. I can’t help myself. You have such nice buns.
I marble at the rye comments.
I bagel you pardon!!!
Oh no, Shadow wants to slice me! Heel have to catch me first!
Aww, I missed the whole (grain) bun pun run…
Thanks for helping me rise to the occasion Avis
Don’t worry, you didn’t miss muffin!
Doughn’t you guys understand what you’re doing?
THEN JUST BURN HIM! BURN HIM LIKE A (sand)WICH!
Noodle Dude, your P flipped up!
*staples mine down*
Noodle Dude?
Yeah, we skwerls tend to change names often. How’s it going, Noodle Male?
You know, that or, uh, His Noodle Dudeness, or uh, Noodle Duder, or El Noodle Duderino if you’re not into the whole brevity thing.
Noodle Doodle!
I just call him Nood for short.
That is briefless.
Dragon is briefless.
PastaBud?
VermicelliMale?
SpätzleBoy?
RamenMan?
ShiratakiSon?
FettuccineFellow?
Well, any of those OK for you?
gnocci guy, kluski kin.
FINE! Any of the above, including those posted by various other squirrel and non-squirrel folks shall be deemed acceptable!
I’m partial to El Noodle Duderino actually.
Yeah, we really knead to get our hands on some of that dough. Don’t stop and sniff the flour!
Yeah, I mean, what kind of a half-baked thread is this?
If we let this thread go on to long, the puns will start to get downright crumby
Just one more? C’mon, it’s the yeast you can do.
oh, all rye-t but I warned you. ugh, that one was about as good as pun-pernickel bread
*waiting for a chance to use “Go Focaccia Yourself”*
You fruitcake.
Oh, wait. That’s a naan-issue at this blog, isn’t it?
It’s good enough farl me.
It’s good enough farl me.
Apparently, it’s good enough farl you twice!
That mazo be my bonus post!
A Chinese man once asked me if I was staying in a bread and breakfast. Now I know what he meant.
Racist Joke FAIL.
FAIL… lol
I’d like some And, please!
You accidentally the bread.
Use an action verb.
Use an action verb
Accidenty dear, accidenty.
Band? Bland? Land? Hand? Stand?
Big Band?
Bobby Bland?
Music Land?
Band Stand?
Candy Land?
Barbara Streisand
Not fail if you live in France…
Mmmmmm, french bread.
They just call it bread.
we aren’t them are we?
No. We are us. We are on the other team, see. It’s Us v. Them.
sounding a bit like a politician the… OMG I HAVE DISCOVERED SHADOWS SECRET IDENTITY, unmask yourself George W Bush
*gasps*
I am insulted! I am a liberal and proud of it!
*fumes*
*gasps*
*gets high off liberal fumes of shadow*
I’ve been exposed to liberal fumes, but I didn’t inhale.
Huggy Bear, I must tell you that calling people “George W Bush” is one of the worst insults. Please stop doing that, especially when the person is as sweet and kind as Shadow.
And you’re either with Us or against Us, these are your options. Besides the bread.
Bread? bread breading bread breadness read bread
Teh breadz. The bread hazzit.
oh bread? bread’s breadastic
what about French Toast? isnt that an american invention cooked up to be frence?
*french… sorry wasnt looking
But what do they call a cheeseburger?
i’ll take the bread, with a side order of bread. bread to drink and for desert…..erm, bread please..
Excellent choice, monsieur. I understand we have recently aquired a loaf of 1954 bread, very good year, would monsieur care to sample?
I’ll have the bread bread bread bread bread bread bread bread bread with spam, hold the bread.
Do you, in fact, have any bread at all in your bread shop???
no, just pies, 720 degree pies
Well, as long as all topics are in there, they can be any temperature you want!
No, but we have pizza.
Great! Can I get one with 70cm of sheet metal?
only if you plan to share with your family
They’ll have to STEEL it from me!
Iron want to share!
Ore not.
That joke was a STEEL.
WIn.
I wonder what’s for lunch?
meat and meat
That’s the back aisle;
MEAT OR MEAT
the cooler.
nice comment skwerlly bob, real succinct
It’s all squirrel meat, actually.
*Gasp*
*Disgusted look*
*Spits out meat*
NO! I’M A CANNIBAL!
Don’t worry, it’s not even meat, it’s Soylent Green. Or however you spell it.
Soylent Green is people!!!
soylent green IS meat. human meat!! watch the movie again du ma!
Dude, it was a joke.
Err. . .duma was eradicated around 1917-18. I don’t think they can watch much of anything anymore.
It’s a cook book! Avis, it’s a cook book!
I wrote one actually. I did the lay-out, the artwork, and the trimming, and the binding. It helps that my mother is a graphic designer. And no, I didn’t sell them. I gave them to family members. The sad thing is all that work is stuck in the external hard drive that is now unresponsive.
I have learned that lesson the hard way also. Back up, Back up, Back up all of your work to removable media.
*Did you name your cook book “To Serve Man”?*
I titled it “Favorites”. I got some friends and family to send me their favorite recipes. Then I added a ton of my own. I can’t publish it ’cause I don’t know where they got the recipes, and there may be copywrite issues.
I’ve learned the hard way a few times: ALWAYS make a backup!!! Which reminds me…. I haven’t backed up my pictures in a while. Oops!
Come on, cannibalism is fun *slurps spaghetti noodle* mmmm…
GASP!
Self Inflicted Oral Gratification?
Indeed.
Hey Bob… do you have an extra branch / bedroom in that bachelor pad of a tree of yours?
Absolutely Em, it’s a Split Level Custom Built “Squirrel Habitat” designed and built in conjunction with the Forestry & Wildlife Management, Interior Design and Architecture Departments here on Campus. It’s sturdy, well decorated and has separate pantry, kitchen, dining, living and bedroom areas.
Plus, I have Chipmunks come in 3 days a week to clean up, free Woodpecker Based Pest Control, and 24 hour Mockingbird Security with Anti-Cat Service.
Love to have ya visit anytime.
PS: I also have free Wi-Fi & Cable.
Actually… since becoming a skwerl, of course, I’ve had to migrate into becoming accustomed to “Skwerl world”, so I haven’t a place to rest my head for a bit. You wouldn’t mind if I stayed there a few nights, would you?
*Looks at Bob with cute skwerlly eyes*
Might our heroes day of bachelor hood be numbered?
Will the dainty damsel steal our heroes heart? (and tuck it away for winter)
Or will it be a case of Skwerlly Summer love?
.
Tune it next week for another exciting episode of “As the Squirrel Turns”
*Blush* I’m hoping we can stock up for winter…
Em, come on over stay as long as you wish! We can keep each other warm all Winter, have sex a bunch of times a day right on the Dean’s window ledge, in front of the Baptist Student Center or if you’re game then we can entertain at Frat Parties. Come Spring we’ll have 2 or 3 lil’ ones and all will be joyous!
*Dance side to side swishing tail*
Tee Hee! YAY!
*Jots down window ledge appointment*
Cooked bread
ummm, sheet metal pizza?
… and metal pizza.
*tosses “sheet” in with the metal pizza*
*high five*
to better judgment?
bagels and biscuits? yum
hehehe
BREAD – GET IN 2 IT
Perhaps aisle 11 has peanut butter and peanut butter, or the nearby freezer area has cheese and cheese?
So, instead of spam, spam, spam, spam, eggs, and spam it’s bread, bread, bread, bread, eggs, and bread?
…
Nah, just doesn’t have the same ring to it.
i see no eggs…
It was a play on a Monty Python skit. Ever seen it? If not, go to youtube and search monty python spam. Classic!
i was merely commenting on the lack of eggs in the sign that is today’s fail
so wouldnt that mean that the Monty Python reference is also a fail?
Nope. The lack of seeing that it was a reference to a Monty Python skit is the fail.
.
So nyah. :p
Man…where is EGG when you need him?
Sorry! Hard day at the office!
I’m here now… now what?
Eggzactly what I was hoping for.
Or commas. But we’ll forgive you, velvet. This time. *Menacing look*
I’m glad the AND is there. I might have caused a bruhaha.
There would have been many brus to haha.
What’s all this bruhaha?
Bruhaha? hahaha
Bruhaha-challah
Hava Nagila haha!
You were pretty close to causing a bruhaha nonetheless.
So, since it wasn’t a full-fledged bruhaha, would it have been a melee or a ruckus?
I believe the order is
ruckus –> bruhaha –> melee –> Super smash brothers Brawl
Ah! Ruckus it is, then. Thanks so much for the clarification! I always get those mixed up. And then I try to throw free-for-all into the mix and really get myself all confused.
Ah yes, you see the free-for-all is a commonly confused variety of conflict. A beginners mistake, surely, for all experts know that it is a variety of melee OR Brawl wherein team mode is turned off.
*twirls mustache and smokes cigar*
I’ve written several scholarly articles for “Frackus Monthly” on the topic myself, a-hem.
Wait… spaghetti noodles have mustaches now?
Didn’t you know?
Em, that mustache & cigar are both FAKE, [just like Mookie's]
Drat, they’re on to me!
*makes escape in motorcycle made of pasta*
I call it…the pastacycle! SO CREATIVE!
Wait… so when you clean your motorcycle, do you call it a wash cycle? *ba dun dun tish*
Ah! That makes sense! Thank you so much for your advanced insight into the issue.
.
I will be looking forward to reading future articles from you in Frakus Monthly. Have you considered writing for Hullabaloo Review?
You guys have totally missed the whole sublimated hoopla/kerfuffle dynamic. Pfft…so-called “experts”…
Much ado about nothing.
Rats! Just saw comment by Avis.
bukkit please.
*passes bukkit to Marius*
*Puts head in bukkit*
Oh pudd’nhead.
I LOVE it when Dragon says “Pfft”
Hee!
Can’t say anyone else has ever told me that before!
Quick! Look over there!
*points*
*SQUEEZE*
*vanishes in a puff of smoke*
Not to put a damper on that lovely speech noodleguy, but it is spelled fracas, so I might suggest you speak to your editor about the error.
I believe they made that error on purpose, in order to appeal to the “young crowd” that ‘lieks tings dat r missspeled lulzs roflcopter’
Or possibly a din?
My guess is it was much ado about nothing.
Ooh… I just got reminded of Robert Sean Leonard… has anyone else seen Safe Passage? “You started a fire!”
We didn’t start the fire, it’s been burnin’ since the world was turnin’!
Naan.
Very tricky choice
Finally I can buy some and.
And for you, sir?
Yes I’ll take 2.
You need 2 of which: and, And or AND?
Different sizes mean different prices.
……there’s Garlic Bread, Pumpernickel Bread, Rye Bread, Whole Wheat Bread, Bread with Butter, Bread and Peanut Butter, Bread and Jelly, Bread Pudding, Cornbread, Low Fat Whole Wheat with Calcium Added Bread, Raisin Bread, Stale Bread, Sourdough Bread, Unleavened Bread, Flat Bread, French Bread, Bush Bread, Portuguese Sweet Bread, Moldy Bread, Cinnamon Bread, Sprouted Whole Grain Bread, Organic Low Fat Soy Flour Bread, Pumpkin Bread, Gluten Free Bread, and Toast!
And then there’s Garlic Toast, Pumpernickel Toast, Rye Toast, Whole Wheat…..
And bread with pasta on it!
Would bread and butter pickles be on this aisle? It has the Bread and the And in the title. But not the second Bread. Just curious…
dont forget FRENCH TOAST!!!!!!
Bob, you are so good at listing types of bread! *Swoons*
You seem to have forgotten the all important carb-less bread that leaves me to wonder what exactly its made of.
now that’s some fat ass meal.
i was the first to comment, someone took away my comment to be the first. This is a whole conspiracy on this blog! I’ll see to it that the responsible person for the erasing of my FIRST comment will have to explain himself before the court of justice!
U R Funny!
Tell us another one!
*pulls out tazer*
HMMMMMMM…you’re on thin pasta fellow. Watch out, if you mention
THAT WORD
again I might just have to taze you, as
THAT WORD
is prohibited. Very much so.
*Grabs tazer from El Noodle Duderino and tazes Tom*
*Deep breathes*
Ah… that feels much better…
What word? Fir- Arghhh!
Fir trees?
Mankind does not live by bread alone, but by every bread that rises from the bread of breakfast.
If a picture paints a thousand words, then why can’t I paint you? The words will never show the you I’ve come to know…
Um, Squirrels don’t LIKE being Painted; THAT’S WHY!
They have that sign at my Safeway, too. Hey, I wonder if that IS my Safeway! I’ve mocked that sign for years.
My Safeway has it too (I’m in Northern VA).
Huh. That might just be from my Safeway, unless all Safeways have a ‘bread and bread’ aisle.
What! No spam?
WOOT! I had a similar sign in the store I work, lol…milk and milk
Decisions, decisions….
I think I will have the bread, or shall I have the bread???? Oh, this is sooo hard to decide. I wish they had cake
lol, rasenganvschidori1
cheks out my youtube profile!^^
in this case, “And” must be some sort of meat…
Oh yeah, In teh back of teh store, I am going to try and get a picture of it! thers a sign that says giant employees only! WTF? LOL!
Wow…the sign is like every overseas hostel I’ve ever been to, LOL.
does it come with spam in it?
mabye it says breakfast-bread, and bread?
Why yes, I would like some bread with my bread, please.
Bread or bread? Hhmmmm. These are the choices that seperate the men from the boys. Do I want the bread or the bread? Hmmm. I’m going to have to ask Inpu while listening to The Wanton Song.
what do you guys think?
Q. Do you want Bread or Bread for Breakfast?
A: I want Bread.
Umm… Bread, anyone? It seems to be your only option.
yes, please
I’d like some and, with a side of bread, and hm…How about some bread? No, wait….I know! Bread! No…Hm…Oooh! Oooh! I know! I’d like Some and, with a side of bread, and for desert, some EPIC FAIL!
i will have the secound choice
*tehehe* I love this fail! xD
it reminds me of the breakfasts that were available in the mornings at my hostel in amsterdam, fail
whats funny to me is that is a Safeway isle sign, and I work at a Safeway…o_o i fail
Well, this website is kind of funny, but it is a bad example for kids. i am a sexy jackass girl, but i really care for my kids. marry me!!!
oooooooooooohhhhhhh………..i want……………………………………. ummmmmmmmmmm… im thinking!!?!?!? oh i kno i want some bread!!!!!! XD
hmm bread or bread? in the two of this choices i will have cookies please
Whoops. Reply fail.
Or not…
)
(wtf? It was at the bottom…
Hmmmm…
*wonders if this will turn out to be a ride*