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Failblog comments – the last stand against the ongoing stupidity of ICHC
<3
The perfect excuse to give when a video of you jerking off finally gets to youtube!
in soviet russia, video jerks off you
ok, that’s funny
What happened to the “GUN”- or, was the “INTRUDER” holding a camera while the Victim was holding his gun
the ending is sooo epic.
BFF, surely you jest. I mean, what’s so bad about hai thare mistur tree what is yew duing todai is it the saim as yesturday heehee will yew bee mai cheezfrenz ann evreewun hear is all winnars?
Other than sounding like a stoned Special Olympian, that is.
…for someone who claims to hate it so much, you sure do speak the language quite well!
It’s not exactly Ecclesiastical Latin… all you have to do to learn it is smack yourself in the head with a brick a few times.
Or get Mookie to loan you her bong.
I can’t find my bong. I think I traded it to Lou for the orb.
It was your thong what you traded with me.
Dude man the bong is up here in my tree house! We made some righteous acorn soup outta the bong water and we been smoking some tree mushrooms and dried salam
ander tails in it. As soon as we find the door I’ll return it. kaythxbye
Can I borrow it first?
ROFFLE
He fed his dog mushrooms and the dog died………….?!?!!??!!?!?!?!
I bet the dog wasnt the only one feeding on strange mushrooms…
aww… poor dog…
That was my first thought as well.
I bet the man wasn’t the only thing masturbating.
Maybe it was a cat. Who knows?
fgsdfgs
it was an evil mushroom from Super Mario.
wash your hands and the mushrooms
Wash you hands and the mushrooms
Who calls their dog “mushrooms” anyway?
Spelling FAIL!
Where? I see none whatsoever?!
His name?
In the picture… “PRON”FAIL
Prawn fail? Damn those prawns…
Oh clam up, wouldja?
I think she lobster sense of humor this morning.
What’re ya gonna do? Scallop me?
No, I’m going to poke you in the eye a la the Stooges…you know who I’m talking about: Larry, Moe, Curly, and Shrimp!
Don’t make me get tough on you guys!
*flexes mussels*
Alright, everyone, calm down, this is getting out of hand. Let’s all sit and have some lunch. Here, I brought abolone sandwich we can share.
Just so long as you don’t eat the oysters, you Walrus you, that wouldn’t be nice.
True, because the internet is for prawn.
why the f**k did you go into seafood when it was about mushrooms and the pron fail….
Man, this thread almost squidded to a halt right there.
It did indeed slow down to a craw(fish)
But you just had to octopush it.
Oh, we’ll keep it up just for the halibut.
It’s the krill of the chase.
That’s it. One more pun, and you walk the plank(ton).
I need kelp. All my puns are carp.
Oh now you are just fishing for puns.
Mine are also a little shad.
Aww. C’mere.
*cuttle(s)fish*
That ought to tip the scales!
Thanks. Now I feel betta.
That was bigger than the broad side of a barn(acle).
If I can thing of anything I shell try to contribute.
Please do, EB, we flounder without you.
Um…ErickB…you have something dangling there…
*winkles*
Dragon, I think you should FOOOM him within an anchovy’s life for that.
I guess I haddock it coming eventually.
I don’t like the tuna that!
What are you all carping on about?
or we’ll make you clean the deck, ye swabbies.
Keep this up, you’re gonna send everybody who reads this thread into a state of shark.
*flounders*
Water you waiting for? Do it!
I sea what you did there.
I bet you feel out of Plaice.
This thread is really crappie.
C’mon people, trout out some more!
oh just stop.
*wonders if trolls make for good chum*
Don’t be so crabby.
Yeah, reef him alone.
Hey! I happen to enjoy baiting the trolls every now and again! Sometimes they can be as predictable as the tides.
Don’t be so shellfish.
I think we should explain the joke to the “less fortunate”. We shouldn’t just keep it too ourselves, that would be just shellfish.
At least she’s not being shellfish. That abalone sandwich was the bass I’d ever had. Oh my Cod, I *must* have the recipe.
*sigh*.
Whose brilliant idea was it to spread comments in a single thread across multiple pages?
Orange you glad I didn’t say banana???
… U__U
Oh my cod! This is my first visit to this site, found it by mistake, but has given me a halibut of a laugh…. I’m flounder-ing here…….
Oh don’t worry, I’ll definitely be back…….
That’s totally whaling on the chain of events there
conch
Don’t you snapper at us!!
Cod we plaice get this thread back on topic !!!!!
Dont worry, I think his lips are seal’d.
whale the puns seem to be floundering…
whale it looks like the puns are floundering….
This punnage is off the scale. I hope it’s FINished.
Hey Benjamin… “Show All” works wonders.
And then you’ll sleep with the fishes!
This seems to have floundered the last 2 days…
It’s not fair to start whaling on her.
Yeah…lobs-DOH
I think you were flounder-ing with that one.
Don’t worry squiddo, we won’t make a clown (fish) of ourselves.
i think he was shellfish not to share the mushrooms with everyone
ha ha ha let’s make jokes about seafood for no apparent reason. ha ha ha How dare you all make all these jokes at his expense….ha ha ha All about this poor man and his dead dog. Ha Ha Ha.. .he had his home invaded and his dog poisoned…ha ha ha .. you are all soooo shellfish
I tried to reply to this accusing you all of being shellfish, but it’s not here. Oh well, I did want to offer kudos to all those great puns
hello
Sorry, I can’t do that. I need to tuna guitar.
Hey k-k-k-katy, way to spell “bologna’ wrong. Spelling FAIL.
poultry.
This whole thread of puns smelt to the high heavens.
“why the f**k did you go into seafood when it was about
mushrooms and the pron fail….”… the guy was referencing to
Lewis Carroll’s “The Walrus and the Carpenter”, douche, which,
by the way is an excellent poem… sucks to be ripped on by a
12 year old, donnit’.
Open your mouth, I have some soap for you.
Don’t worry little one. One day you too can be in a basement masturbating while your dog dies from poison mushrooms and we will have just as much to say about it as we do this guy. Fear not.
Impressive how you completely missed that the “guy” who referenced the Walrus and the Carpenter is the same “guy” who started the seafood jokes. And fairly feminine at that, thank you very much.
Pixie, even with our pictures for avatars, we all get mistaken for the wrong gender from time to time. There’s nothing you can do. Believe me I know.
Holy mackerel! Talk about a brainless little jellyfish. Apparently ’12 yr olds’ need to leave the humor to adults.
that’s four.
Also known as pr0n
Rofl…
hahha TITLE FAIL!
That last post was 1337$4uC3. (Thats leetsauce for you non leet speakers out there.)
I find that really hard to believe sir, could you produce any proof to that claim?
Check out pr0n on urban dictionary. It’s actually fairly common spelling nowadays in order to avoid the connection between the word and search engine relation to less reputable activities.
So would this be a FAIL FAIL???
I agree!
I guess you don’t realize that if it wasn’t for ICHC and the ICHC following, things like FailBlog wouldn’t exist?
Oh, we know. But there’s no rule that says the child must be exactly like the parent. We enjoy our literate comments and pun runs here on Fail blog, and when in Fail blog, do as the FailMENSA do.
We know, we just like to bite the hand that feeds us.
*nomnomnomnomnom*
I’m pretty sure that if ICHC never existed, something very like failblog would. There are several other similar sites. But we love failblog!! And I for one am exceedingly happy that it is here.
And failblog loves you, and you and you and … well not you. But for 7.99$ it will love you too.
Hey!
Can’t I just pay 500 yen?
*fishes around for change*
Do you accept belly button fuzz as payment?
The dollar sign goes BEFORE the amount.
they failed on their own fail blog… PRON?
learn to spell stupid
hahahahahahahahaah. I’ll check out ICHC every now and then, but failblog is my home.
um were these mushrooms shrooms?
The article wasn’t descriptive enough?
It was so descriptive it’s an obvious fake… They should attach original URLs to verify… it’s terribad! -1 fail… that’s a failure-fail
That’s what mushrooms are, slugger.
Oh, and that article will probably, sooner or later, be made into a Hollywood film.
Can i be the mushrooms?
Is that a Groucho Marx egg?
Have you fallen in love with me already?
Groucho EGG isn’t in FailMENSA either. :p
*grin*
Groucho EGG wouldn’t join a club that… you know the rest.
Would Groucho EGG be in a club sandwich that would have him in it?
Mikey, don’t move! You have a bug on you!!!
*reaches out*
*SQUEEZES THE MOOMIN!*
*jumps in the Ferrari and zooms away with a squeal of tires*
Now I have a squished bug on me
It was worth it though
*toasts Mikey D’s comment!*
*spreads butter on Mikey D’s comment and eats it*
Mmmm, crunchy!
*screams*
Have you just eaten EGG? :O
Ooooh…Mookie is NOT going to like this.
*looks askance and horrified, in the manner of someone who realized they just ate a family pet*
Epic fail.
Plz leave the internet!
Opposite Lindsay Lohan. Or should that be on top of Lindsay?
or underneath.
*masturbates*
*takes pictures*
*steals pictures*
*masturbates*
Oh you chicks are such a tease!
How about ‘inside’?
Wow, nobody reads old comments!
Famous quotes from that film:
“Is that a camcorder you’re holding or are you just happy to see me?”
“It’s a camcorder”
Lol!
*would totally watch that movie*
Expects to see it on youtube!
It’s both.
Mushroom Fail
Sounds like Kink gone awry to me.
All day, and all of the night?
*sings* The only time I feel alright is by your side.
Mookie, you really got me goin’.
Loz, you’ve got me in a state of confusion. (I thought I only liked boys, but now I dunno)
I can help you make up your mind… what did you say your address was?
*is totally jealous of Mookie right now*
*sets up the spy cams*
Is that before or after the fall?
I thought about keeping this run going, but then again, I’m not like everybody else
What? You think you are special? One of the chosen people?
He thinks he’s more equal than the rest of us…
All commenters are equal, some commenters are more equal than others.
All commenters are equal, some commenters are more equal than others
Not all comments are equal. Some have a sense of self-aggrandizement and post themselves twice.
Yes.
NO IM THE MOST EQUAL OFF THEM ALL
BOW DOWN TO ME YOUR EQUAL MASTER
All animals are equal.
Some animals are more equal than others.
I am!
Jeez, I even linked to the song and people still don’t get it
I got it. I was tempted to say “Kinks recognition fail” to those behind me but decided not to.
Homevideo win maybe?
Seriously?
*masturbates*
You’ve already got a newspaper article about you, so what more do you need?
Psst, BFF, he’s waiting for you to show up with a camcorder.
What are you waiting for? Go on *nudges*
Oh, alright. If you insist.
*sneaks behind Whut? with camcorder*
*reports BFF to the police*
*sells story to The Sun*
Traitor! Help! I’m being framed! Free Tibet!
*points at Loz who is laughing menacingly*
I’ll take it!
Hello, China? I have something you might want…
*chuckled*
But it’s gonna cost ya’…
That’s right…
ALL the tea!
*invites everyone to the tea party*
*throws all the tea in the harbour*
Well, that was fun. What do we drink? I could murder a cuppa.
oh.
Free Tibet – with purchase of equal or bigger size Tibet
Crams BFF into spare troll cage and applies a big sticker saying:
“TO: CHINA
Tibet Dissident Enclosed. Please Rehabilitate!”
Oh, this is not going to end well. Bob, it was nice knowin’ya.
Lube. Lots of it.
This isn’t a fail. This is made of pure WIN.
Who brings a videocamera and poison mushrooms to a robbery?
Non-seq would be my guess.
Dammit…you owe me a new monitor, Loz!
I don’t know why I bother drinking coffee while catching up on this site…
COFFEE?
*instantly perks up*
Mayhap you would share?
Well…you could lick it off my monitor, if you really wanted to, I suppose…
I am so tired I would actually consider it.
Roffle! Yes, it was pretty good wasn’t it?
Speaking of non-seq, cue the “Jaws” theme. There’s been a sighting in the “recent comments.”
Who goes to the basement to masturbate?
…men who still live with their mothers?
This clue alone could help to tie together some points in the story…
How many mothers does a man need in order to feel the urge to masturbate in the basement?
Is this like a lightbulb joke? I give up, how many?
Either that or a really strange misquotation of “Blowin’ in the Wind”.
LMAO… Bob Dylan WIN!!
Hehe, *high-fives*
“Her”? That puts a whole new spin on the story.
Ngah, i blew the plot twist!
*busts out the innuendo machine*
You blew WHAT?
You see, i like twisting…stuff.
I suppose that’s better than stuffing…*ahem*
her mom? It’s a girl? Gender pronoun fail.
His mother probably saw the video tape of himself masturbating while on shrooms. He probably fed the shrooms to the dog to hide the evidence and told his mother that she was out at the time and explained to her that a burglar did it all and she probably went to the police…
Uhhh…. I can’t even start to imagine… That’s way too kinky…
who continues masturbating after being filmed?!
Not to be pedantic (well, that’s a lie, actually), this wasn’t a robbery, it’s a burglary… robbery is taking the property of another by force or threat of force; the article doesn’t say anything about that. Burglary, on the other hand, is breaking into a dwelling place at night, with the intent to commit a crime therein.
Now that you have been educated, you may ask,
Who brings a videocamera and poison mushrooms to a burglary?
And the only answer I have is people who are the figment of someone’s imagination who accidentally poisoned their dog and made up a panicked excuse.
Well… what if the “burglar” stole the man’s virginity. Then the “burglar” would be a “robber.”
P.S. “”
I already took the bar exam this year; plz to not be bringing up traumatic memories. *PTSDs under the desk for a while*
Practices Tantric Sex Dance?
(Loz, the visual image of that is quite hilarious)
Prances Towards Self-Disentigration?
*snork!*
As is that!
Provokes The Sensual Donkey
Points To Sexual Deviance?
Portrays The Sensitive Damsel
Portends Tarantula Spider Deception
Posts Terrible Sarcastic Diabtribe
Plucks The Succulent Damson
SPIDER???
*hides behind the Admiral*
Dragons don’t like spiders.
(Pretends To Succumb Docilely)
Politely To Scared Dragon:
You appear to have hidden in the wrong comment in your fright. But while you’re here. . .
*SQUEEZE*
(Pleased To Squeeze Dragon)
Oh, WHEW! I hadn’t seen this, and thought you hadn’t squozed me today!
(Pokes The Silly Dude)
*checks room for hidden cameras*
*hides camera*
Meh. The bar exam is a cakewalk! Wait’ll you start practicing!
“Wait’ll”?! That’s a new one.
Oh the things we do to the english language!
I think it was consensual though, so whatever he did was between the language and him..
SHE AND HER!!
*smacks Mindmute*
Gawd.
Ach!…
I’m sorry Mookie, it was an honest mistake.
I considered doubleposting and correcting that myself, but I didn’t and ended up getting smacked… Now there’s a lesson!
slight correction: “figment of someone’s imagination”
should read: “direct consequence of someone’s hallucinogenic mushroom trip”
Or more likely, the dog wasn’t the first one in the room to eat the mushrooms
Who said it was night….wait…..HEY GUYS I FOUND THE VIDEOTAPE GUY!!
Actually, burglary is the breaking and entering of the dwelling place of another at night with an intent to commit a felony within. Of course, this is the common law definition, which is no longer used except in law school and on bar examinations. Or in failblog comments section …
Yeah, so, like, what was the felony here? Burglary definition FAIL on the part of the newspaper…(?)
me.
i bet i can think of a few people…
i can think of a few people… *shudderz*
anyone who eats those mushrooms
I eat those mushrooms and then watched this guy it was awesome.
grammatic tenses FAIL
Mushrooms and masturbation make your punctuation fall off.
Did the movie synch with any Pink Floyd albums?
Does that really qualify as a burglary?
Poor doggie.
First
WTF – Hope that never happen to me
Second!1!1!1SHIFT+ONe
This kind of thing happens far too often.
Wrong on so many levels.
Wrong, wrong, WRONG!
This sounds like a Lynch film.
Mushroom Peaks
Erasershroom.
The Onanism Man.
Dumbland
Shrooms, Flies and Videotape
The Darkened Shroom
Shroomholland Dr.
Wild At Home
Shroomback Mountain
Blue Mushroom
The Mushroom Story
A not so Straight Story.
Mushroom:01
Two Men Getting Sex
Lost Shroomway.
Hotel Shroom.
Inshroom Empire.
He sounds like a FUNGI…
Two Men and a Doggie
*scootches*
I’d say I collaboration between Lynch and Monty Python
sorry, the second I was supposed to be an a
and the third e was supposed to be a w
Betwewn?
Bedouin?
Nomad?
Hermit?
Hobo?
Tramp?
Vagrant?
Vagabond?
Gypsy?
Wanderer?
Transient?
Drifter?
Emigrator?
Squatter?
Rover?
Red Rover, Red Rover, send Pixie right over!
terrorist?
Dad?
Loiterer?
Urban outdoorsman?
Mountainman?
Lumberjack? *sings* I’m a lumberjack and that’s ok!
*masturbates*
Scream until he stops!!!!
Free Range Human
[well, that’s what we squirrels call them since “Urban Outdoors Man” has become trite and overused.
]
what a way to kill the run
Call me what you will!
Chief?
McCloud!
Where is the video that the burglar did? I want to see it…
Wait a minute. Burglary? I guess he stole the dog’s life. ok, makes sense now. Nevermind……
I didn’t pose for those photos, honest. An “intruder” took those pics when I was dressed in my dominatrix regalia and whipping a donkey. I feel so violated.
That’s not my jizz on the donkey’s back, I promise!
That’s not jizz, he’s wearing the pearls from the uncake.
And holding a Circuit City fire extinguisher.
*covers BF’s eyes* Young man, take yourself right outta this discussion!
*hides the duct tape*
Aw, not agai-mmmmff!
*struggles*
*Conflicting Images Wrestle for Dominance in Small Squirrel Brain*
Whipping? As in “Bad DONKEY!”
or
Whipping as in: Whoa!…. I’m gunna need more lube!”
“Whip It, Whip It Good!” plays in background.
*Signs up for a private session*
*Checks the “Invoice Me Later” Box*
==reposted due to nesting failure==
I miss my donkey.
He’s in a better place now and he died for a good cause.
I found its head! It was hiding in a previous fail a few pages back.
you knew that donkey?
Alas, poor Yorick! I knew him, Malfeasant, a donkey of infinite jest, of most excellent fancy.
I see her knavery: this is to make an ass of him; to fright him,
if she could. But he will not stir
from this place, do what she can: he will walk up
and down here, and he will sing, that she shall hear
he is not afraid.
That skull had a tongue in it, and could sing once:
how the knave jowls it to the ground, as if it were
Cain’s jaw-bone, that did the first murder! It
might be the pate of a politician, which this ass
now o’er-reaches; one that would circumvent God,
might it not?
May not an ass know when the cart draws the horse?
Whoop, Jug, I love thee!
Alass, he not from whence he came.
ha ha ha, you and me
little brown jug, don’t I love thee.
Hey, Mikey, ya got anything left in that jug? I just killed the vodka.
A HA! That’s where Erick’s missing “x” went!
I have a jug that contains “x”? Does that mean I’ll become a powerpuff girl for drinking it?
*sigh* I was afraid that was too much of a stretch.
Whiskey jugs in comic strips are marked with an “x” sometimes. I suppose to alert the readers as to what is actually going on, or to keep the children out of it?
Does that mean I’m not a powerpuff girl?
*bottom lip starts to quiver*
*comforts* Of course you’re a Powerpuff Girl! Bubbles, Blossom, Buttercup, and… er…
Moomin, of course!
You shouldn’t kill things it’s naughty. Besides, isn’t vodka already dead being a spirit and all?
*Pours Mookie a bacardi*
are you quoting clerks two? because if u are you fail… its “i miss my mule.”
You must be an extremely happy individual, as I hear ignorance is bliss.
*Conflicting Images Wrestle for Dominance in Small Squirrel Brain*
Whipping? As in “Bad DONKEY!”
or
Whipping as in: Whoa!…. I’m gunna need more lube!”
“Whip It, Whip It Good!” plays in background.
*Signs up for a private session*
*Checks the “Invoice Me Later” Box*
we can conclude that there’s always someone more perverted than you.
LoL
You’ll need to fight Ryannon for that. Rules are simple:
1- Oiling oneself skin is allowed.
2- No hitting allowed. Only rubbing.
3- Your clothes surface shall not trespass 1 square foot.
4- All endeavors to win the title must be videotaped, then distributed to all members of FAILMensa for, uh, content review.
Pfft. The Admiral and I have this thing LOCKED in.
5- Chocolate sauce and whip cream are optional but will be counted towards etra points if used.
I volunteer to be a judge!
*Passes Erick a x*
*adds them to the other two, now he has the set* XXX
Dammit, you always win at tic-tac-toe!
6- the more references to previous fails, the more points earned. NON-VERBAL references!
*imagines*
Wait a minute! When did I become the Queen of Smut?!?!?! Where’s my tiara, my cape, my sceptor and my buttload of red roses damnit?
There are no tiara, cape or scepter for that title.
There are a whip, a golden thong, a leather mask and a bag of picnic supplies
*paints fist purple…*
*makes dirty shadow puppets on the sidewalk*
You’re already the queen of my heart. You are on top and I, as your loyal subject, am happily beneath you.
Mirror, mirror, on the wall,
Who’s the most perverted of them all?
It’s Moooookie!
Ooh, this is a toughie.
It’s probably either Paul Reuben, Michael Jackson or Gary Glitter.
Nah, I’m going with ErickB.
EB’s worse than Jacko?! *hides*
Oh wait, I’m neither male nor under the age of 12…
*comes out of hiding*
You might be safe, but I think we may need to hide Bondfan.
Why? What have I done? Are we getting age-ist here?
*causes uprising*
It’s for your own good.
What? What? NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
*is dragged away screaming*
Huh. What was that *whoooooooooosh!*ing sound I just heard??
I’m not perverse! You deserve a spanking for
even suggesting such a thing!
Maybe not perverse, but more than a little kinky.
BFF is Pedobear’s favorite flavor.
*spine shivers*
Anybody has tried it with a gun and a videocam?
*edits ‘Has anybody’*
Yup…
I’m sorry, but 12 minutes is way too long to make a correction.
I was waiting for Loz to stab me with her almighty red pen… but i guess that will never happen.
*wipes tear*
Try to praise Non-Seq or talk about her Scottish origins; your grammar mistakes will be rewarded then.
Non-Seq is Irish.
I know, I meant Loz origins
Irish? Like, McNon-Seq?
No, no, no! Guys, Loz is Welsh.
“Mc” and “Mac” are Scottish; if I’m not mistaken, “O’” is Irish, as in O’Connell.
Your mistaken.
*hands EB an apostrophe and an “e”.
I’m a nerd, and I know it.
Yes, you are mistaken. Mc, Mac and O’ are all Irish in origin.
McNug-get?
Non-Seq is NOT Irish.
*perishes the thought*
She’s Trollish, no?
Yep
And I believe T[r]ollund is a small village in Denmark, so let’s never go there!
When it comes to Non-Seq, many a thought doth perish.
I like to think of you saying it with a Pakistani accent. It makes sense then.
You know the Pakistani accent well, do you?
I do not, in fact. But it seemed better than saying Indian because I live in Oklahoma and to me, Indians are native Americans.
Ugh I have nothing to contribute this morning.
Don’t let it get you down, I never have anything to contribute, but that doesn’t seem to stop me.
Yes, come join our non-contributor club. We’re very proud people.
OK guys, who’s been overfeeding the fish again???
*whistles innocently*
You ain’t just whistlin’, pixie.
Hee hee.
*floating belly up*
I hope you will be filling bladder ‘air soon.
Yikes! *cleans Fluffy’s bowl* *resuscitates Fluffy*
Mouth to mouth?
*swims happily into the filter*
♫
Three hams will kill her
Three hams will kill her
You should not feed her three hams!
♫
I saw the video and I must say it’s Photoshopped, you can easily see that the mushrooms are false and the dog is trained…
FAKE
it’s WTF WIN to me!!!!!
People are weiiiiirrrd
Yes, absolutely so.
Hello & Welcome to FailBlog Tephy.
I’m sorry. The correct line was “people are strange.”
*shows Tephy the Door(s)*
Yep, I was masturbating.
*subtle* *applaud*
Best. Police report. Ever.
That was a very sexy report.
You forgot the period between “Police” and “report”.
He. Certainly. Did.
No, because “police report” is a single phrase. Don’t you know anything about |33t5peeK?
Don’t you know anything about irony supplements?
They come in suppository form. Let’s offer one to loey.
Will you help me put it in?
I take an irony supplement every day.
I take an irony supplement every day!
Damnit!
Uh oh, overdose. *pumps stomach* Better?
Wuzzat?
Uh oh, a skipped period. She might accidenty a baby. *reminds self to send card*
Or a coathanger. *is a little mean*
I thought pixies were little men?
Those are Pict-ies.
Getting himself into the newspaper WIN?! o_0
Slow news week
One has to wonder what he was really doing to cause his dog’s death that this excuse would sound better.
I would prefer to NEVER wonder that.
*bleaches brain*
It may have involved peanut butter. Enjoy the visual.
*cerebral cortex fries like an egg*
I believe you have an oval fixation. This is your second egg reference.
Remove the “l” from “oval” and you’ll be closer.
*checks dictionary*
agreed. You win!
But then you lose the Freudian pun… it’s better to be retentive with such humor.
I disagree. Latin puns are MUCH funnier than Freudian puns.
After all…Coito ego sum.
*facepalm*
It’s a FREUD JOKE!!!!
Your irony supplements aren’t working.
Freud and Sam, tricksy hobbitses they are!
A FRIED YOLK? Sure, I’ll have some on toasted whole wheat with some mayo…
Mayhaps you should supply the original version and cross-reference it with the latin translation then diagram the changes involved
Leggo my ego!
I am just sad the dog died
Sorry to break it to you, mate, but this isn’t funny, if it’s even true. It’s just sad.
WTF is Pron?
pron?
spelling fail
So it IS true! Every time you masturbate, God DOES kill a puppy!
You mean the robber is GOD? Oh my!
*choir sings Hallelujah*
*does his best William Shatner impression*
But why does God need a videocamera?
No, Chuck Norris kills a puppy.
Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his parents did.
lmao you win one and a half internetz
lofl you has the wins
all of them
Choking the chicken.
*fap fap fap
NO.
Let me direct you to the FailBasement…
*gestures way*
We have a FailBasement?!
*falls down FailStairs*
NOOOOO Bondfan you’re far too young to be going down there!
*Drags BondFan back up stairs, locks door and nails bars across it*
What…did…I…just…see?
*collapses*
Either it was the video of Mom and Barky and Me and Daddy.
Either it was the video of Mom and Barky OR of Me and Daddy.
“Mom and Barky and Me and Daddy” hasn’t been released yet!
Is that the sequel to Bob and Carol and Ted and Alice?
I think a triple
is called for
He brought a rooster to a robbery????
He had egg on his face. Yolk Yolk Yolk.
Egg, you get off his face right this instant!!!
*ROFFLE!*
Why? I’m just having fun!! Ngah, you never let me do what i want! I hate you!
*goes to his room, slams door*
*comes out of his room*
Hey… can we have pizza tonight?
I don’t care. Go ask your father.
You go masturbate in the basement, young man!
Thanks k-k-k-katy you made me laugh
I wonder if the perp will get fried if he gets caught?
Poor dog, what did it do to deserve a basement dwelling owner and some perverted poison mushroom carrier.
He was the one masturbating.
*insert funny comment here*
Bah! I missed all the fun cause Im at work today!
Don’t worry. We have it all on video.
excellent. Dont tell me how it ends!!!
ok, we won’t
excellent. Dont tell me how it ends!!!
The hippy leans out the back of the van with a shotgun and shoots him, leaving him to die there on the desert road.
I left the theater with tears still rolling down my face.
I was kinda shocked by the suddeness of it all. But I guess that is what you get for claiming to be exactly the same height as Alan Ladd.
Why would he tell the news that?
Why would he tell the [i]police[/i] that?
Wow. This has been the most random fail I’ve seen yet. Mushrooms? Wtf…
FYI, we’re on accident (of the car variety) number three for the day. At least number three. What I can see of this one involves a missing tire. I can only see the tire and crumbled bits of concrete from the dividing barrier. Yes, I’m staying inside today.
Eep!
I can’t bear to watch accidents. Let’s have a glass of wine by the fire instead.
Wine? Fire?
*perks*
*pours*
*partakes*
Yeah, the weather here just turned nasty. Inside by a fire with a glass of wine sounds just perfect. Add in good friends and it shouldn’t be missed!
You know, it’s theoretically possible the man isn’t severely mentally disturbed.
This could be someone’s brilliant elaborate revenge.
like a vindictive printer?
SUPER EXTRA BONUS ROUND: Post video on YouTube. At worst… RFH will never live it down when someone he knows sees it. At best… he calls the cops and says “This proves it! Go look at http://www.youtube.com/watch=?1mafr1ck1nm0r0n to see!” and they come haul him off for indecent exposure. Sell all his stuff to pay for cleaning the rug, and when he gets out tell him a burglar with a videocamera came in and stole it.
No, I am afraid that the dog suicided because it did not enjoy living with a perverted 38-year-old man who still lives with his mother. Now, the burgelar(sp?), he for one doesn’t have internet and is poor, so he snuck into the basement with a camcorder so that he can film the prono, and take it home for him to watch. Isn’t it obvious? The poison mushrooms, well sir, that is a different story…
The dog was an hero? Is that even possible?
a poor man with a camcorder? those are some odd priorities
You should visit the mid-west sometime. Particularly the poorer areas. You might be shocked.
touché
Im 100% sure that if I were that guy I would have *not* reported that crime…
Wow…you’re more than half sure!
It’s almost 110%!
Then you may have run into problems with the Jerking Authority.
I would have asked for a copy of the tape
WHO IS THIS POICE?
The poice are the ones who arrest those who make improper use op caps.
My only reaction; “Wtf?”
I really have to say this is the funniest thing I’ve ever read.
You, sir, have led a sad life then.
ZOMG this is freaking hilarious. Really the guy broke in and videotaped him batin? Then fed his dog shrooms? Is this for real or is it a prank?
attempting to understand failblog FAIL.
Zeppelin and Inpu should be pleased to know that there are still people who still try to be creative when doing otherwise mundane tasks. The world needs more truly unique people, not people who try to be unique by being just like everyone else.
Where did the burglar get a video camera from?
Stole it, obviously
Well, Zoe honey, first the bee falls in love with the flower and then the bird lays an egg, nine months later there’s a sale at Circuit City…
Ask your mother, I need another drink.
i always wondered, what if the bird got stung halfway through?
That was a pretty redundant hint… which wasn’t even a hint, really…
This cannot be true XD
silly of course it must be true they wouldn’t let them print it if it wasn’t true!
COME ON GUYS BURGLAY IS SERIOUS BSINUS THIS AREN’T FUNNY
Oh, too many FAILS, too little time…
Honesty win?
You know, you’re right! Whenever a video is posted of ME on youtube, I should tell the truth and say a man RANDOMLY broke into my house, videotaped me bating, then fed my dog mushrooms. IT COULD ONLY BE TRUE!!!!!
Why oh why oh why has no-one said he doesn’t sound like a funghi to be with?
What do you call a mushroom with a twelve inch penis?
Gertrude
SO EASY!
The FUNGI all the girls wanna be with!
Cuz he’s rotten.
what????????
I wish I could masturbate on mushrooms.
what?
I keep falling off.
that is one of the funniest things that I have ever heard of i my ENTIRE life, WOW!!!
Must of been a short life so far. Stick around it might get better.
Definitely might.
lol?
LOL. i love the last sentence…its kindof like a side note: oh yeah…and um.. the dog died, so anyway, how woz ur day??
And I hope the stole was fur… fur sure….
KINKY FAIL. D:
Am I the only one wondering why there was even a dog in the basement WITH this dude?
this happened in Akron, OH. I saw it in the Akron Beacon Journal newspaper, also known as The Jerkin Beakle, aka The Leakin’ Urinal.
sheesh…don’t u just hate those type of interuptions…when u r busy…
fail @ picture label
What the hell is funny about this?
i think its supposed to be funny because of like he was… and err well umm… yah i got nothing
LOSER.
The only way you could know that is iffffffffff…
YOU ARE THE DOG!!
J’accuse!
*dramatic point*
lol! Poor doggie. “Then he fed his dog some mushrooms and he died” what the heck is that?
That is an epic bedtime story.
FAIL CAPTONING FAIL
This failed on so many levels
All you people who think “pron” is a misspelling and/or fail need to get a bit more internet culture. It is very much deliberate, and fits the juvenile wanna-be cool aesthetic of the blog perfectly.
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=pron
CAPTIONFAIL
XDDD
<3
owned
38?!
masturbatong?!
…..get a slut
SPELLING FAIL
Pronfail! That is the hilarious part!
Poor dog… he had to see that.
and why was it under burglary?
pron? am i missing something, or is this a fail fail?
… Poor doggy… D:
sweet i used to think i was the only one who has had this happen to them
haha he must be on the mathdebating team (thats a pun)
i saw that too
1st of all, spellfail.
2nd, That article was magically hilarious until the guy killed his dog. Then it just became magically tragic. Poor puppy.
Wouldn’t it be ironic if the guy masturbating was masturbating to videos of other people masturbating, and the guy who taped it later on masturbating to the guy masturbating to someone else masturbating? It’s all a disturbing cycle of masturbating to masturbating.
That’s my birthday. . .
I wonder if the intruder forced the guy to finish jacking off. And the part about the dog was the cherry on top of this fail.
PRON FAIL??? whatever…
If the article meant to be discret, well, if that guy lived in a small town everybody would know who the 38, cole avenue guy who lives alone with a recently killed dog would be, right?
Bad day for the dog.
Poor puppy. =(
learn to spell
PRON FAIL isn’t a word (as far as I’m aware)
The intruder gave the dog salvation.
erm… feed a dog a bone, yeah, feed a dog some mushrooms???!!! FAIL!
Must of been a phychedelic trip of his =D
L0L xD
Every word I DILIBRATLEY spell Wrong….I Write In CAPITOLZ!!!
To tell YUH DA truth…..ITZ not That FUNNAY!
SO HA!!!!!! IH CAN SMS SPELL AND YUH CANT!!!!
disgusting, is this even true?
i mean spelled sry
There’s a Cole Ave. about 5 miles from where these people I know live…
WTF LOL
durp?
I’ve never seen this one before . I lol’d hard.
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