It’s seriously sad that commenters can read entries like these and either a) assume that Zurack really spells that badly or b) spell so poorly themselves as to not recognize the problems with his comment and thus the irony.
How is it that people with regular computer access can have literacy problems that bad??
Oooo Vatican Rag! I missed that one!
“First you get down on your knees,
Fiddle with your rosaries,
Bow your head with great respect,
And genuflect, genuflect, genuflect!”
.
Thanks for that earworm!
hehehe this job i had years ago, one of the guys in my training class was a bush supporter- but he would say to people out of the blue, “do you like bush?” it was hard to say no when phrased like that…
Actually, with regards to the inauguration per se, it won’t. While daybreak may occur earlier, the event itself will not. Anyway, January 20 will just usher in four more years of the same. If Obama’s about change, why is he letting Gates stay on his post? To a lesser degree of importance, why is he picking so many Clinton aides to his team?
I think I’ll forgive them a spelling error if they published h2g2… but it looks like it was actually Pan books. My copy was printed in 1979 and it’s held together by sticky-tape.
Some excerpts from the dictionary: Failure: Win. Win: A failing to perform a duty or expected action. Hard Work: What your dad told you to do. Success: What my dad says I do not have. Ice: Dunno. Works as frozen water.
Trash bin: The home of a squirrel and/or man-giraffe and/or rhino. Please open with caution. Infidelity: Saying you were in the World Trade Center on 9/11 when your wife calls to ask if you are okay. Identity theft: John D. Greer Jr. 444-9043 Common sense: Knowing that benches may be wet after periods of rain. FedEx: A place where shredding your privates is always an option. Elephant: llama. Pizza Hut: A place now offering pizza. Wedding site: Mound of dirt. Graffiti wall: A place where vandalism will not be allowed. $3 cheeseburger: $5. Puggle: Purebred dog. Dairy Queen: Home of the doucheeburger.
Oh God… the annoying voices came back.
“Welcome to Good Burger, home of the Good Burger, may I take your order?” (I watched one too many episodes of Keenan & Kel as a kid)
Metallic Oxide Salts: substances which the government put in your water supply to create rainbows in your garden sprinkler. Only witnessed within the last 20 years.
Well, they couldn’t look up the word “dictionary” until they wrote the dictionary first, and they obviously didn’t look back I believe the back of the book says it right.
It’s time for Animaniacs
And we’re zany to the max
So just sit back and relax
You’ll laugh ’til you collapse
We’re Animaniacs!
Come join the Warner Brothers
And the Warner Sister, Dot
Just for fun we run around the Warner movie lot.
They lock us in the tower whenever we get caught
But we break loose and then vamoose
And now you know the plot!
We’re Animaniacs!
Dot is cute and Yakko yaks.
Wakko packs away the snacks
While Bill Clinton plays the sax.
We’re Animaniacs!
Meet Pinky and the Brain who want to rule the universe.
Goodfeathers flock together; Slappy whacks ‘em with her purse.
Buttons chases Mindy, while Rita sings a verse.
The writers flipped; we have no script
Why bother to rehearse?
We’re Animaniacs!
We have pay-or-play contracts.
We’re zany to the max
There’s baloney in our slacks.
We’re Animanie,
Totally insaney
Chicken Chow Meiny
Animaniacs!
Those are the facts.
I didn’t watch it. Apparently, my older siblings despised it. (I have 4 older siblings — The youngest was 11 when I was born. They grew up with a completely different childhood…)
Personally, i think all the characters from the WB cartoons are terrible; they’re annoying and mean. Very, very few are ok by me.
Just look at Wile E. Coyote and Road Runner and think about what they represent.
I always liked the bald headed little buzzard with the speech impedement, and I also like Eeyore to so go figure. “Well my tail fell off again, I would try and put it back on but I might jusst lose it”
Um…no. Just no. My parents marched on Washington well before I was born. They would NEVER tolerate any sort of racist language from us, unknowing or not of the implications.
You are all mistaken. Look it up on the internet: MacMillan’s dictionary is for the advanced learners. It contains the REAL and secret spelling of words, not the spelling they teach to us poor sods.
As that one guy from that one show about that stuff and those people once said: Homie don’t play that.
Capt. Awesome here won’t tolerate you ancient Greeks tell us how to speak. Who are you working for? Alexander the “Great”? Athena? Who sent you to butcher other languages? And why does your alien race want to eradicate Led Zeppelin? Go back to the planet Grecoria IV, Zues hugger.
Okay, new game: Guess my hair color and eye color! Also, try to figure out my 3 main culture backgrounds. You’ll know at least two if you’ve read some of my past comments.
You combined green and brown to get blue?
German is in my cultural past, but not one of the three main ones. Let me rephrase it: What is a very close friend of America?
Okay, so you consider yourself to be American, Canadian and French?
If you’re not Native American, how can you be of American origin? It doesn’t make sense.
“you’re standing in a room, there’s a table with an apple on it in the centre of the room. There’s some people in checkered golfwear looking mildy bemused”
No, we ‘hafe’ no ‘lifes’. And we would like to thank you for joining our conversation. However your participation is deemed unneccesary for this specific failblog. We do have some nice parting gifts for you.
Johhny, tell him what he’s won…
Where Hard Work comes after Success!
it ought to say “dictionary”
You are a genius!!
You solved the riddle in less than 10 minutes, no wonder you are a professor.
PLEASE just remember that not all professors are this clueless and humo(u)r impaired…
You’re not Clueless. You also have Monopoly, Life, Sorry, Backgammon, Chess…
i think it was supposed to be sarcasm lol
5nd
Captain Obvious to the rescue!
*raises hand*
I don’t get it… Would you mind explaining it in more detail?
Well, Eggie… what we have here is a photo of a cover of a book…
Woah, woah! Easy man! I need time to absorb all this information… *hyperventilates*
and it is a dicitonary I think.. or is it a encoclypædia
are you an ency(o)clo(y)pedia salesman?
no, i swear i just want to break in and steal a few things
Man i need to printi these comments
encocly-what-ie?
It should say ‘FAKE by Photoshop’, not ‘FAIL’
The classic party crasher. It never fails (even though we are on FAIL Blog), there’s always a guy who says “Photoshop!”
Professor, what is the ultimate answer to the ultimate question?
42
No duh.
‘Harad Worok’ DOES come after ‘Sucucess’!
That was beautiful Fluffy.
*wipes tear*
*standing ovation!*
*standing ovulation!*
Me dun’t see te feil here…
It says “Dicitionary”.
Amd whates wromg abuot tat?
Normally there aren’t as many I’s
Also in the news: “Worldwide shortage of irony supplements”
Also in the news: “Factory increases productivity by adding 3 hours to the 24-hour workday”
“…local residents claiming it’s a government conspiracy.”
“Government denies elongated workday, but is appointing a committee to study the phenomenon. Chairing the committee will be Senator Viagra.”
meh i was tired. all spelling mistakes automatically appear correct when tired…
*whooooooooooshhhhhh*
*snork!*
The result of too much dihydrogen oxide being improperly disposed of due to laziness of the elected party.
You mean dihydrogen MONoxide. Science is an exact science. X)
Won’t these extra hours of workday contribute to global warming?
we didnt listen!
YES! EXACTLY!
The “Daylight Savings Time Conspiracy” adding extra more warm
daylight hours to the day melting the polar ice, frozen water and stuff.
OH NO!!!! what are we going to do!
*gasp* If there are more hours of sunlight, there will be more rainbows, won’t there??
*hides*
Of course there will be more rainbows. But what we’re going to do it fill up bukkits with sprinkler water and pour them down the drain.
Wut du u maen?
Don’t worry Zurack I’m sure some of them will get it, they just need time.
Hey, internet psychic, you still haven’t guessed my resolution!
It’s 1280×800…
My comments aren’t posting!
Yes, you finally got the resolution, well done!
So the issue of your resolution is unresolved?
No, there has been a solution to the resolution finally.
It’s seriously sad that commenters can read entries like these and either a) assume that Zurack really spells that badly or b) spell so poorly themselves as to not recognize the problems with his comment and thus the irony.
How is it that people with regular computer access can have literacy problems that bad??
…ly.
I don’t have to spell, my keys on my keyboards have pictures of letters on them and I go by the pictures.
A for Apple, and so on?
I got my keyboards at the x-rated store. But Apple works too.
So how many “F” keys do you have on your keyboard?
It’s hard to tell, they’ve all been rubbed off.
second reference to tom lehrer in recent memory…
I hope you are counting my “Vatican rag” reference the other day.
Oooo Vatican Rag! I missed that one!
“First you get down on your knees,
Fiddle with your rosaries,
Bow your head with great respect,
And genuflect, genuflect, genuflect!”
.
Thanks for that earworm!
Ah, my work here is done.
Of the Tom Lehrer News Hour?
dis iz a cl34r sp3lling f4il
PH4IL!!111oneeleven
Do they pronounce nuclear “nukular”?
No, they’re not related to Bush.
Is it January 20th yet?
*counts down the days*
Move to Australia and it will arrive several hours earlier
*lays in a supply of champagne*
I think we should all have a party on that day.
Good idea!
*stocks up on bier and spam and spam and spam*
You mean “beer.”
Liberal FAIL.
If they moved to Australia now they could get away from Bush two months early!
hehehe this job i had years ago, one of the guys in my training class was a bush supporter- but he would say to people out of the blue, “do you like bush?” it was hard to say no when phrased like that…
Girls are in a league of their own.
*whack*
I’ve been waylaid!
By a bright-eyed, bushy-tailed dragon!
Actually, with regards to the inauguration per se, it won’t. While daybreak may occur earlier, the event itself will not. Anyway, January 20 will just usher in four more years of the same. If Obama’s about change, why is he letting Gates stay on his post? To a lesser degree of importance, why is he picking so many Clinton aides to his team?
This is not a fail, it’s obviously a dicitionary.
this is why you send your kids to get an edumacation derr
There’s at least one worse way it could’ve turned out, honestly.
Share, please.
I don’t think he brough enough for the whole class.
The book looks pretty used (or maybe just dirty)… some child is going to be quite disappointed in his/her next spelling contest.
Actually, it looks like tire marks. I think someone tried to kill the book.
Actually, it looks like the bottom of a size 7 or 8 shoe. Maybe they tried to kill it by trampling it!
It wasn’t *FOOOOM!!*ed…! Nope, not at all. Noooo, sirree, noop,
nope, nix. Perish the thought.
*hastily exits stage left*
what’s written above? macmillan?
I think it’s the publisher…
things like this probabaly why you don’t hear much about them.
(*ahem* Macmillan Publishing group is one of the largest in the world…)
You would know about a Scottish publishing group like McMillan.
omg MacMillan is an Australian publishing company.. our schools are doomed :[
It’s not Australian, they just have branches all over the world.
We’re all doomed.
OH IT COULD IT GET ANY WORSE !!!!1one!11eleven!11!11111!onehunderedandeleven1?!??
Didn’t it publish the Hitchhikers’ Guide? Or am I just slowly going insane?
did it ? OMG it just got worse :[
I think I’ll forgive them a spelling error if they published h2g2… but it looks like it was actually Pan books. My copy was printed in 1979 and it’s held together by sticky-tape.
And they appear to be now part of MacMillan. Damn.
That’s practically a conspiracy.
*hides*
A-ha! Now you’re trapped in the nest!
*SQUEEZE*
*pulls the hidden lever*
*Ejector seats out the nest*
WAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagh.
*crash*
no, but i’m going slightly mad, so don’t take my word for it…
d’oh, i forgot to remove my link from my last post… this one is more appropriate
See that’s the thing. Dicitionary is just ‘Stralian.
Some excerpts from the dictionary:
Failure: Win.
Win: A failing to perform a duty or expected action.
Hard Work: What your dad told you to do.
Success: What my dad says I do not have.
Ice: Dunno. Works as frozen water.
Sheep: Horse.
Free: 500 yen
What she said: What SHE said
Welsh: I am not in the office at this moment
alright, I’ll put you through now.
Troll: Grammar-hating “first”-posting attention-seeker.
Chicken: Not what you want to ask for in a Chinese restaurant. See also Real Chicken
Picnic: Physical sexual contact between individuals that involves the genitalia of at least one person.
and your genitalia looks like a boot, does it?
Trash bin: The home of a squirrel and/or man-giraffe and/or rhino. Please open with caution.
Infidelity: Saying you were in the World Trade Center on 9/11 when your wife calls to ask if you are okay.
Identity theft: John D. Greer Jr. 444-9043
Common sense: Knowing that benches may be wet after periods of rain.
FedEx: A place where shredding your privates is always an option.
Elephant: llama.
Pizza Hut: A place now offering pizza.
Wedding site: Mound of dirt.
Graffiti wall: A place where vandalism will not be allowed.
$3 cheeseburger: $5.
Puggle: Purebred dog.
Dairy Queen: Home of the doucheeburger.
*scribbles out man-giraffe*
*scribbles out Loz*
*tippexes out the scribble, leaves to dry and then rewrites self*
HEY! Who wrote “Dorky-looking flamethrower” after the Dragon entry??
It was cicili. I tried to stop her, but you know there’s just no reasoning with that girl…
*points to Loz*
Ooops, our posts crossed and my plan so see a girl on girl fight failed
Oh God… the annoying voices came back.
“Welcome to Good Burger, home of the Good Burger, may I take your order?” (I watched one too many episodes of Keenan & Kel as a kid)
Not enough, evidently!
It’s “can I take your order” :p
Who loves orange soda?
Sorry, I accidenty my grammar. Mommy told me use “may”, when I thought “can”, I started hyperventilating… hence, my current therapy!
Oops, if you have a grammar complex you probably shouldn’t be watching Keenan and Kel!
I know you are but what am I?
Spell checking: Beer time!!!
Shadow: Penis
Llama: camel.
Ladderless: containing and/or using a ladder.
Eiffel Tower: Please buy the adult version of the book to see the definition.
Metallic Oxide Salts: substances which the government put in your water supply to create rainbows in your garden sprinkler. Only witnessed within the last 20 years.
Chick: Feminist.
Death: getting really high on pot brownies.
Microphone: Pepper dispenser
Whore children: those who come first.
Braille: Lure used in traps for blind people
Blind/deaf people: see Helen Keller.
Juses: Son of Dog
Trespass: To loiter; a misdemeanor punishable by another misdemeanor.
Fitness: Excuse for eating a whole cake
Rape: the weekly cost for a hotel room
Steak: a child’s hero.
But what’s the definition of “Definition”?
I bet “failblog” is in the dictionary.
And the dictionary is in failblog… aaargh, recursion!
*black hole forms*
HAHAHA. Stupiiid.
I do believe the Jokes on all of you…
It is a stoopid BOOK COVER!
Probably printed by the high school dumb ass or his brilliant public school teacher or maybe even on purpose just for FailBlog.
Well, they couldn’t look up the word “dictionary” until they wrote the dictionary first, and they obviously didn’t look back
I believe the back of the book says it right.
POOFREADING FAIL
that comment there was a PROOFreading fail, poof…
Well, wat the heck did you expect out of a guy named “Buttnuggets Galore”?
obviously not much… im never trusting any people named “Buttnuggets Galore” ever again !
I’m expecting more poo…
He is married to Dingleberry von Scheizenberg of the Munich Scheizenbergs. She is currently expecting.
What is she expecting?
.
{insert recurring Monty Python routine here}
poo is always good……
No, I think a gay man would have gotten dictionary right.
[sic]
You’re still sick?
Teehee. Nah, I’m just about recovered. Still got the remnants of a tickly throat and runny nose.
Maybe its just a dicitionary but not a dictionary. We all failed then
Maybe they mis-spelt deceitionary and you’ve all been fooled?
You have been fooled by the voices in your head, and your hat. Once again…
Dammit. I tried to keep the voices under my hat.
Hey, did you get that hat from Lou?
Lou has hats?
Tinfoil hats.
Hmmm. Thankyou. I shall complain that mine is faulty then, there appears to be voices.
Or did you mean my hat had fooled me? I mistook it for my wife once.
There is two kinds of voices, the ones inside your head and the ones in your hat!
It’s so simple!
My hat says you’re Slytherin.
Nah, I’m Gryffindor!
Nu-uh, my hat disagrees.
Ok, your hat got me, I’m from Hufflepuff.
Happy now?
No, Because I think that it means my hat is winning over both of us in these stand-offs
How sad. Being beneath my hat.
Arn’t we all beneath our hats?
You mistook your hat for your wife ? Err, what exactly where you doing to it ?
Arguing over upholstery
Arguing UNDER upholstery is harder.
Not for squirrels.
Especially in Spring!
Sacks reference WIN!
YAY! It was a fascinating read
He came to my university to speak once…it was FABULOUS!!! He was soooooo funny and interesting.
Bill Clinton plays the sacks.
It’s time for Animaniacs
And we’re zany to the max
So just sit back and relax
You’ll laugh ’til you collapse
We’re Animaniacs!
Come join the Warner Brothers
And the Warner Sister, Dot
Just for fun we run around the Warner movie lot.
They lock us in the tower whenever we get caught
But we break loose and then vamoose
And now you know the plot!
We’re Animaniacs!
Dot is cute and Yakko yaks.
Wakko packs away the snacks
While Bill Clinton plays the sax.
We’re Animaniacs!
Meet Pinky and the Brain who want to rule the universe.
Goodfeathers flock together; Slappy whacks ‘em with her purse.
Buttons chases Mindy, while Rita sings a verse.
The writers flipped; we have no script
Why bother to rehearse?
We’re Animaniacs!
We have pay-or-play contracts.
We’re zany to the max
There’s baloney in our slacks.
We’re Animanie,
Totally insaney
Chicken Chow Meiny
Animaniacs!
Those are the facts.
Oh God, I absolutely HATED the Animaniacs!
Pinky and The Brain too?
I didn’t watch it. Apparently, my older siblings despised it. (I have 4 older siblings — The youngest was 11 when I was born. They grew up with a completely different childhood…)
How old are you now?
27, more or less.
I was 12 when it started, I grew up without my siblings in the house, and they were extremely child-like for being in their 20s.
Then again, I’m also extremely child-like, and I’m in my 20s
Ditto.
Witty minds think alike
Personally, i think all the characters from the WB cartoons are terrible; they’re annoying and mean. Very, very few are ok by me.
Just look at Wile E. Coyote and Road Runner and think about what they represent.
I personally adore Tweety Bird.
(Tweety Bird won’t nest below this level)
I always liked the bald headed little buzzard with the speech impedement, and I also like Eeyore to so go figure. “Well my tail fell off again, I would try and put it back on but I might jusst lose it”
It’s scary to be an egg, isn’t it? *soothes*
The WB cartoon characters were great. No one has mentioned the screens greatest lover, Pepe` le Pew. He left all of the ladies breathless.
*boing! boing! boing!*
I am almost finding yooooooooooooooooou!
You didn’t have a collective childhood like the rest of the Borg?
I absolutely LOVE the WB cartoons from my childhood.
The earlier ones with the overt bigotry make me uncomfortable, though.
Um…no. Just no. My parents marched on Washington well before I was born. They would NEVER tolerate any sort of racist language from us, unknowing or not of the implications.
Loved Animaniacs! But I am an ancient 55. Still, thanks for the reminder. But now, am plagued with earwurm!
Best dictionary ever. That will ensure our failure!
You are all mistaken. Look it up on the internet: MacMillan’s dictionary is for the advanced learners. It contains the REAL and secret spelling of words, not the spelling they teach to us poor sods.
*dicitionary
Kansas edition.
No, Missippi edition.
is Missippi next to Loosiana?
Is Missippi close to Loosiana?
No, it there’s the Texass edition.
After much searching, Obama’s childhood dictionary has been located.
hello to you all at the fail place.
Been enjoying the photographs and videos of faliure and all your
silly comments.
much love.
xxx
I wasn’t aware we were at the fail place. Are we at the fail place ? Are people watching us ? I find this very disturbing.
Maybe we are in some kind of zoo, they are watching our silly comments since the beginning!
We are all like Billy Pilgrim
And I’m Bobby Indian!
Personnally, I’m unstuck in time.
But it was close. I was about to get stuck.
Ahhh…may Vonnegut RIP.
*moment of silence*
XXX?
Sorry but I’m hetero.
So, you’re saying you wouldn’t het that?
He’d hat it though. He loves a bit of hat.
With 2 cubes of sugar, please.
watchyourself before i go into overdrive and slap yo’ ass
As that one guy from that one show about that stuff and those people once said: Homie don’t play that.
Capt. Awesome here won’t tolerate you ancient Greeks tell us how to speak. Who are you working for? Alexander the “Great”? Athena? Who sent you to butcher other languages? And why does your alien race want to eradicate Led Zeppelin? Go back to the planet Grecoria IV, Zues hugger.
Okay, new game: Guess my hair color and eye color! Also, try to figure out my 3 main culture backgrounds. You’ll know at least two if you’ve read some of my past comments.
You have green eyes, silvery grey hair and I reckon one of your backgrounds would be American Shorthair.
Okay, so you have my kitty alter-ego down pat — Now guess mine.
The kitty also had a grey maine coon father, and a light black tabby mother. But that’s beside the point.
Cute kitty though.
I guess at Scottish, Welsh and Irish?
Distantly Scottish, slightly Irish, not Welsh. But none of those are part of the main three. What are your guesses on hair and eye color?
Hey, that’s the same as me… apparently…
Loz, do you have any guesses to contribute?
Hair colour – brown. Eye colour – brown.
Italian, Greek and Peruvian.
You got the hair color correct. As for the background — Think simply.
You’re native American. Pissed off at the European wankers who came and stole your country and ruined it.
Knock off the “native” part and you have one that’s correct. But if your whole statement was true, I would be pissed off with myself as well.
It’s like ‘Guess Who’ gone wrong.
Erm.
Do you have green eyes?
…I’m pretty sure ‘American’ doesn’t count as a cultural heritage point.
Well, whatever. I’m American, so sue me.
Combine the two guesses there have been so far for my eye color.
Now, name a close friend of America.
God?
Allah?
Allah is most definitely NOT a close friend of America…
Blue eyes, Brown hair, German-American?
Close friend…money?
Jesus was voted the most popular American that ever lived. So you’re part divine?
*flicks down green eyed people*
Do you have a hat?
You combined green and brown to get blue?
German is in my cultural past, but not one of the three main ones. Let me rephrase it: What is a very close friend of America?
If it’s not God, I’m guessing he’s gonna be pretty upset with you!
To Loz — Sorry, when I saw your post, it was singular, below this whole thing, so I just started naming random gods.
No, I mean geographically a CLOSE friend of America!
I knew what you meant :p
I’m only hoping you don’t say Canada…
Yep. Canadian-American. I have a Canadian father.
Okay, now, last hint for the third cultural background: Bonjour!
Okay, so you consider yourself to be American, Canadian and French?
If you’re not Native American, how can you be of American origin? It doesn’t make sense.
Swedish?
Mexican-Icelandic?
Great heavens…nice ego trip you have going here, emygirl!
Similar thoughts here. I can’t believe Loz entertained that for as long as she did.
Outer-Slobovian?
Inner Hebridean?
That’s all there is isn’t it? I thought it was the ratios that varied?
spell check people!!
Done it. You’ve spelt people correctly.
c, h, e, c, k, p, e, o, p, l, e
.
There. Did I pass?
“Spellcasting C H E C K P E O P L E”
“you’re standing in a room, there’s a table with an apple on it in the centre of the room. There’s some people in checkered golfwear looking mildy bemused”
it took me a while to catch the fail lol! didnt notice the extra i
same here, i thought i failed to see the fail lulz
Beneath his hat the strangeness lies
Take it off, he’s got 3 I’s!
(no one will get that. NO ONE!!!)
Beneath his hat the strangeness lies
Take it off, he’s got 3 I’s!
(no one will get that. NO ONE!!!)
Was it even in English to start with? Might be a correct spelling for an other language…
I do believe the Joke is on all of us…
Look closely. It is a stoopid BOOK COVER!
Probably printed by the high school dumb ass or his brilliant public school teacher or maybe even on purpose just for FailBlog.
it looks photoshopped cuz it’s not centered in the bubble
I like books
Seriously do you people have lifes?
Lifes??????
No, we ‘hafe’ no ‘lifes’. And we would like to thank you for joining our conversation. However your participation is deemed unneccesary for this specific failblog. We do have some nice parting gifts for you.
Johhny, tell him what he’s won…
Global economy…
WE DON’T SEE ANYTHING WRONG WITH THAT.
fail faking fail… the word isn’t even in the middle.
Its photoshopped.
Photoshop Fail
I guess his spell check is dyslexic
Can’t any of you retards see it’s goddamn italian
can’t any of you retards see its g*dd*mn italian>???
Google “dicitionary” and you see that’s the word in Chinese. It’s a different language.
300th
what kind of book is this?